January 2017 Surgery Group
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Surgery the 26th. This sucks!
Honestly, very nervous. I've had surgeries before, but not this long.
Question about constipation....ladies?? Did you start anything before or just after.
Learned I had this 2 days before Christmas, yug!! Never seems to leave my mind.
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Hi ladies - took a little break this weekend. There are so many new sisters joining the January Beauties - so welcome one and all. I hate that you have to meet everyone this way, but we are a lovely lot so pull up a chair and get cozy though this BC BS. Annoyingboob - you summed us up well - I think I definitely fall under the PTSD group!
I treated myself to a mani/pedi and a 90 minute massage today. The mani/pedi was good - esp since I know I won't be able to do them with chemo (assuming I need it - and based on everything they've told me so far, I'm planning on it.
)I had the strangest experience at my massage. I have been doing so good - not crying and staying positive. As soon as I laid down and the masseuse touched my back I started visualizing the cabanas and I just started crying. I could not hold back the tears. It was really awful. I just felt so sad - and it hit me out of nowhere. I gained my composure and was able to get through it...but geez! And of course I'm laying there topless and couldn't exactly just sit up - in retrospect it was pretty funny. I kept thinking if I sit up I'll flash them - but who the hell cares if they see my breast, their days are numbered anyway! I think I've done such a good job staying busy that as soon as I stop moving the shit fairy shows up. I'm ready to strangle her!
My surgery is a week from tomorrow and I'm really getting nervous. Nesting - spent a ton on groceries today - it's like I'm trying to get a months worth of work done in a week. Thankfully I'm doing better tonight but it just goes to show how the BC BS just sneaks into your head and plays with you. I am thankfully seeing my therapist tomorrow and my pmd for something for my nerves. I know I'll need a valium day of - I'm going to ask for the strongest possible drug that will make me not care. The thought of this surgery has me so freaked out. Your posts about your journey after is helping me better prepare so, thank you again!
If anyone has a good book to recommend I'd love one. I have a couple of non-fictions books I've queued up plus The Nightingale - I've heard good things about it. I love to read so send a suggestion. I'll throw our A Man Called Ove - it's so good!
Have a great evening!
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the visualization pics are lovely ladies! Wanted to jump on and wish those going in for surgery this week the very best. We will be awaiting your check in after surgery when you are up to it.
Docmama, very good to hear from you and I'm glad the Falcons pulled out that W!
Dafne, that is horrible someone would do that. That is an aggravation you don't need right now but I hope you are easily able to get all of your id replaced and that karma takes care of the jerk who took something that does not belong to them!!
Didnotsee, yes!! Congrats on the clear nodes!
Annoyingboob, I'm sending some strong vibes into the universe with you dear friend...let me know if together our magic works. 😁
Shoregirl, warmest welcome to the club nobody wants to be in. I hope you can find some strength and comfort here with us. I was the same as you...I did not personally know anybody who has gone through this so this site and these loving ladies have quickly become a huge part of my world. I joined on when there was just a few of us and our little group has unfortunately grown so big...I wonder how I've gone 43 years without knowing anyone with breast cancer! This stupid cancer has got too many of us but we will beat it together.
3bears, enjoy your day tomorrow.
Vargadoll, love my essential oils! I use and diffuse them for just about everything. My husband used to laugh at me but now he knows they work because I made him try them for various things so now if he gets a bug bite and is itchy, he is pulling out my lavender oil! I have burned myself pretty good and also used lavender oil on that and by the next day, you couldn't even tell I had burned my hand. He is now a believer in the power of oils!
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oh no, shelly, I don't want the cabanas to make you sad - they are supposed to be something to look forward to - im so sorry.
I read the book of joy when I went to the hospital - https://www.amazon.com/Book-Joy-Lasting-Happiness-Changing/dp/0399185046/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485134074&sr=8-1&keywords=book+joy - im not much of a religious person, although I grew up in a religious home, but I have a serious girlcrush on the dalai lama, and I just wanted to be thinking only positive thoughts during my perioperative time - it worked!! I love this book, and im reading it again to underline parts that really resonated with me. its all about finding compassion and joy and I found it to be the perfect book to put my 'struggle' into context and to help me savor the truly meaningful aspects of my life.
a few other books I got for xmas - a dogs purpose, and dog medicine I enjoyed. the ones I haven't gotten to yet are ove, all the light we cannot see, and secret life of trees.
but honestly, in the hospital, there was no time to read, and post op, you are doped up and cant focus.the books are for nesting/flatline mode at home. chin up sister, this week is the worst filled with anticipation, so stay busy and exercise!xx
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Annoyingboob - I don't think it was the cabanas at all. I think I was just overcome with the reality. The cabanas are such a wonderful visual - so no worries there!
If you love books about dogs you must have read The Art of Racing in the Rain - OMG so, so good!
I love the Dali Lama as well - I will most definitely get the Book of Joy - I believe that's what I need. I'm going to yoga tomorrow night - and as many nights as I can this week. Shavasana is such a great experience and makes me feel so good. I've also started guided meditation and it's giving me some much needed peace. Just need some MM and I think I'd be chill until 1/30!
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shelly - I LOVED that book racing in the rain!! soo good. I hope you like book of joy - I ended up giving copies to my doctors and nurses.
fightingirl - I love oils too, but some other thread on this site mentioned to beware bc of estrogenic properties associated with lavender oil - I traced it , and I think this is the source article for that - http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa064725 - some boys developing breast tissue that they traced to using topical oils. im not sure the association, if any, with breast cancer, but I just mention it since I never heard of any association til this website!
I do like learning new things, but I think im maxed out. thanks breast cancer, but ill be happy never reading another study about you for the rest of my life....
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popping back in because I know several had wondered pages and pages ago now how Marimucho was doing. I had private messaged her to check in some time ago and tonight she messaged back and is doing well. She said I could let you all know. She has just been taking a break and focusing on recovery.
Shellybeans, I miss yoga soooooo much. I tried doing sun salutations tonight and still too much pulling and pain from the lymph nodes but I am very much looking foreard to when I can get back to it. I am certain it would help with all the anxiety but don't want to push it before my body is ready. I'm sorry you were sad during your massage but it brought my mind when my last dog passed away. Same thing, I laid down on that table and as soon as the massage began, I just lost it. I couldn't breath face down and all snotted up from crying and it sort of defeated the purpose of relaxing. Emotions sneak up on us like that sometimes and I hope you are feeling much better.
ABout the nesting, I think we all did that! Can't remember who said it but someone on here said it was like they were going away for 3 months! I think it just give some us something to focus on which is good and also I know myself...I would not be able to relax and recover unless I felt I had everything in order! I'll be doing the same thing before radiation starts...going back and forth twice a day for hour long treatments is going to be exhausting in itself and i don't know how tired the actual radiation will make me so more nesting for me!
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Has anyone had an issue with cording? I can feel something along the bottom of the Mx breast...where the edge of a sports bra would fall and it does indeed feel exactly like a piece of rope...and it moves. I have my follow-up on Wednesday so ofcourse I'll have him check it out...just wondering if anyone else has it. From what I read last night it is most common running down the arm from the LN biopsies but it does occasionally happen along the chest wall. It doesn't hurt...just weird.
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Fightingirl, thanks, carma always works, even if it takes time.
I hope I'll be able to get my id soon, cause it's a crazy loop. Can't get money from the machine cause I don't have my cash card, can't get money from the bank cause i don't have my id, lol Jesus!
Nesting is great in giving you a sense of comfort and security and some control I guess. We argued with my mom just the other day, as she thinks it's not "healthy" to spend so many hours researching online. I finally told her that among others, it gives me a sense of control. The more I know about the ugly beast, the better. At least for me it works. All this crazy bc situation is out of my control, so anything that gives me this sense back is a good thing. Although I realize there are times one can be obsessed with all the info and searching and all, but at the end of the day, who can blame us, especially if they have not been walking in our shoes?
Shellybeans, if you fancy a story with a deep positive message (and a true story that is), I would recommend with all my heart the book "A street cat named Bob", written by James Bowen. No cheesy stuff, no "Hollywood" thing (although it became a movie recently), but an excellent narrative, simple, down to earth, sweet, moving and heartwarming (although bitter at times), with the powerful messages that there is hope even in the deepest darkness.
I had the honor to translate it for the Greek readers. It was my last project as a freelance translator before I close my books, and I chose it because I had big faith in it and most of all, I really wanted people to have a chance to "meet" James and his cat, Bob. You'll laugh, and you'll cry and I'm sure you are gonna fall in love with these two, especially Bob
Ok, I stop here, cause I could keep on writing about them for ever!
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hi everyone, it's a comfort to know I'm not the only one who bursts into tears without warning! It seems to have been a daily occurrence for me over the past few days. I think as I get closer to my MammaPrint results day (presumably Wed), my coping skills are becoming woefully inadequate! I did share with hubby this morning that I'm not fearful of anything in particular, but that I think I'm grieving all the losses that come with cancer (boobs, health, sanity lol) & reacting to the trauma of all this, I guess in a way explaining that I have PTSD. I felt better after trying to put words to what's going on with me emotionally because i think he understood that this is a process that's going to take some time, that I have been through a big trauma (& still going thru it) which took some pressure off of me from what I've been telling myself, "I should be ok by now...after all, my nodes are clear & any treatment is just going to be preventive." He assured me that he has no expectations of how I should be dealing with this which made me feel so much better. I had been thinking I'm so burnt out on all this BC BS, I can only imagine how he feels....our conversation helped me give myself permission to just go thru this without the pressure of "being strong" for his sake. Ironically, I felt so much stronger afterwards!
I'm sore under my armpit where the axillary node was removed but I think it's because maybe some of the numbness is going away. It does seem to be getting more & sensitive on the side (next to the foob) also. I get the tingles down my arm too...seeing the PS on Tues so I'll see what he has to say about my body adjusting to these new parts! My next milestone will be getting rid of this surgical bra 24/7. I'm sooooo done with it by now!
I worked on my laptop all day today, one of the rare days where I had good energy. I seem to to be up & down in the energy dept. day by day so I have to take advantage of it when I have some lol!
I had a pedi before my surgery too & was so bummed out that no one in the hospital saw my feet, I had those dopey hospital socks on the entire time lol!!
I no longer have a functioning short-term memory it seems, so I won't be addressing any of you by name but I want you to know I'm praying for all of you, & hoping that those dealing with struggles in addition to this BC BS get through them quickly!
Sending strength to all those having surgery this week & to those recovering, or anxiously waiting for results, or anxiously waiting for surgery or whatever other joys this journey has in store for us!
Welcome to the newbies, you've come to the right place to go thru this with an amazing group of women! The support you'll find here will be something you'll wonder how you can ever do without, & fortunately you won't have to!
Love you all!
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thank you for starting this. It will be great to support and have the support of others. I am scheduled for a lumpectomy and SNB January 25th.
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Welcome Dee T
You have come to the right spot. The support here is absolutely incredible. These girls have been through so much and share their experiences freely . I had a lumpectomy on the 4th and will be having a SNB on the 26th .
❤
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Dee T, I'm the same thing on the day before you. Good luck sista!
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Good morning!
To all the girls going today;
Cwayman650, Bugchaser,RosaRosadaPinkRose, dcbc....
You ladies are beautiful, strong and loved by us all! This thread is bursting with love and support! The bungalow is ready and waiting. When this part of lifes journey is done you will be healthy, resilient and more beautiful than whem this journey started. BC will not still our joy!
Much love and peace!
Vargadoll
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Good morning!
To all the girls going today;
Cwayman650, Bugchaser,RosaRosadaPinkRose, dcbc....
You ladies are beautiful, strong and loved by us all! This thread is bursting with love and support! The bungalow is ready and waiting. When this part of lifes journey is done you will be healthy, resilient and more beautiful than whem this journey started. BC will not still our joy!
Much love and peace!
Vargadoll
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again it post twice. Why????
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Vargadoll: Love this, because I bet none of us had breast cancer in mind To have to overcome someday!!
All the ladies having surgery today and this week I wish you the best! Take the time to heal at your own speed, both mentally and physically. While we share a bond, each of our stories is unique - we'll all be here to listen!!
Hugs!
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Did-not -this-coming, I sure was not expecting breast cancer! No one in my family on either side has had breast cancer. I guess I assumed I was safe. Oh the things that knock you on your ass! This to shall pass and when it does I will wear my pink ribbon with pride. Of course then I will tell everyone hey guys.remember that cyst I had removed? Well , it was really breast cancer and I kicked it's ass without anyone knowing. Kind of like gorilla warfare 'cause that's how I play! You are almost out of the jungle before you realize I just kicked you!
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Just had to jump on this morning for a little bit of strength and I got it! Thank you so much all you beautiful ladies. Heard a song on my way into work and got emotional. So much for the make-up I carefully applied today! After reading the last few posts, I feel like I can get through this day a easier and I'm reminded again that I'm not alone. All the best girls!
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Just your little ray of sunshine from Florida on this Monday morning.
Love to all the lovely ladies kicking cancer this week. We are with you, united in love and grace!
😘💗
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Shellybeans, love it! Future tattoo
Fightingirl, moment like that use to make me mad at myself because I felt it made me weak. Then I realized that it actually made me stronger because it fueled my fight!
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Vargadoll, you have mad ninja skillz!!!!0 -
annoyingboob - YES I do! That's exactly what my 2 best friends say about me! Lol even my Zumba instructor says she pities the fool that would mess with me! 5'2" not just tough but #TUFF
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Fightingirl - You've got this! Music is the soundtrack of our lives, but sometimes you need to set the queue! Only upbeat music when you are headed to work! I actually keep my iPod in my car and I have a playlist called "Up" for just those types of drives! I hope that you were wearing waterproof mascara!
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Good morning ladies - I too needed to read everyone's posts this morning and gain some strength. My office moves today and I don't even feel well enough to make an appearance. I just wish I could go give everyone a pep talk. Hell im the one needing a pep talk. Annoyingboob not sure how you are even able to work. You give me strength. Thank you.
To all the ladies going in today and this week. You've got this!!! The waiting is the hardest part (Tom petty)! Whom ever asked about the stool softener, yes start it before your surgery. I was plugged for a week after surgery. It didn't bother me however but just something I didn't know to prepare myself for. Excersice as much as you can tolerate before surgery. That was very helpful for me. I feel like a lazy bum these days and cannot wait to be able to go to the beach for a long walk. I nested big time before surgery and I could've done more. Be sure to have lots of accessible snacks, water, etc, I still cannot use my microwave! This I find very annoying. Who came up with mounting microwaves high? obviously not a short woman or one that has had BC!
I am happy for all the new girls that fiound our wonderful thread but also sad that so many women are facing this horrible disease. We will beat this together ladies!! We are all here to help you along through your journey. I am willing to share anything I can. If you have specific questions, feel free to pm me. I'm happy to help in anyway I can. My advice to all ladies going in to hospital, take very little. Wear the clothes you will wear home. Bring change of underwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, chapstick, hand lotion, pad, phone, and charger. That is all I needed. Remember you have to pack out whatever you bring. Make sure you have pillows for your drive home. I was given some by a nurse navigator and a friend who recently had surgery. I also threw a step stool in my husbands truck. It's not high, but I am short and you cannot use your arms to help you up and in. It really helps me get in and out.
To all my sisters waiting on results, I'm praying for you! Cheers to clean nodes and margins. PugsMama I love your attitude, you amaze and inspire me.
Have a great week ladies. I think tomorrow is the day I will finally get rid of my drain tubes. I have appointments with BS and PS tomorrow. I meet with an oncologist on Wednesday.
Xoxoxoxo
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Leftcoastie, my Jan. 4 sister! You're going to be sooooo happy when those drains come out! Will be thinking of you on Wed. as we're both embarking on the treatment phase of this BC BS. We'll be relying on the treatment pioneers here to get us through it, I'm sure!
What hormonal therapy are you on? Xoxo.
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I certainly don't want to give the impression that I haven't had my down moments. For me it hit week 3, after ro appt. just the idea that this keeps going on and on, but I try not to complain bc in the spectrum, I have the mildest of disease burden compared to everyone else. So I want to be a motivator for all who have a rougher road. But it is deflating when our list just grows and grows, and it sinks in how many women are suffering through these hard decisions and treatment.
And as for work, I have no choice. I'm an independent contractor, so no vacation days. I can take all the time in the world off, but if I don't work, I can't get paid and these medical bills aren't paying themselves. No second income here to fall back on. I'm lucky to just sit in front of a computer.
But I took a few days and just stayed in bed. I feel good but the mental exhaustion caught up to me. Everyone heals at their own pace. Be gentle to yourself when you need it, and plow through when you have to.
The good news of the day is that everyone's positive vibes came to me, and they just called with an opening in my pilates class!!!!! First workout in forever! So I am bundling all the love and karma you girls gave me and I'm sending it right back at you. Love to allxxxxxx
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A-boob: congrats! I know how much you wanted to get into the Pilates class! Enjoy!! Oh, & sharing whatever is going on with you is not complaining, FYI...xoxo. 😘
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Hi girls! I'm back after a few days with my parents visiting. So nice! I finally told them also, I'm such a silly chicken it took me until about an hour before we were leaving for the airport. My mom punched me. LOL. But, now other people will find out and I'm really really bad at being the center of attention. I guess i'll just have to figure it out. I'm glad they know.
Welcome to our new friends - wish you didn't need to be here, but this is the best thread (we share dog photos!) for support
Speaking of dogs - started clicker training with little Claire. I'm already sick of it! She, however, is doing very well. I hope she turns into a good girl, rather than an adorable tazmanian devil! We shall see.Glad to hear about all of the little victories and healing going on. Makes me happy!
As for me - 1 week until brachytherapy. SLN incision is feeling better - still just a touch of numbness but I am certain it is getting better. The seroma under my arm might be getting smaller - it's definitely bugging me less. Unfortunately I don't think I got a seroma in my tumor removal area (that's the place we wanted one, to make the insertion of the catheter thing easier.) Hopefully there's a small one that helps her take care of business next week. Trying to keep the heating pad on my pit but not my breast! LOL.
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