My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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good evening all
Sfcakes and emac yes I do remember the early retirement. A kind of loss and emptiness that we have no control over. Please try to keep busy with things you love. I hope it doesn’t impact your budget too much.
Irish I hope you’re feeling better and the diverticulitis pain is under control.
Mara your meal preps always sound amazing. I go through spurts of eating this and that and then fall out of love with it again.
Battling a faslodex injection burn/infection since January so no ibrance for a few more days.
take care ladiesTanya
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Irish~I feel for you. That pain from diverticulitis is unbearable!!!! I’ve had it and it also landed me in the hospital…….im so glad you’re ok. Sending you hugs.
hello Tanya and Emac. Glad you’re hanging in there.
sorry about the cancellation of the trip, hope you can go soon!1 -
@sf-cakes, I get the surreal feeling. I had it when I was sitting in onc's office wondering why they can't tell me exactly what type of breast cancer I have - they are happy to tell me it has metastasized - not so forthcoming about what type it is. I had to get my pathology report from my gp to find out I have some sort of weird frankenstein patchwork, dual occupancy tumor that they are struggling to identify. I was angry then - why couldn't they tell me that? Over the past 8 months I have learnt to take things day by day - one step at a time - difficult stuff put in little mental boxes to be opened when it is their turn. Although I do wonder why I am bothering having IUD removed when I am stage iv, but various doctors seem very eager for it to be removed. Not looking forward to next week when that happens, after dental excitement of last 10 days.
In everybody's pockets with support.
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In pockets for all you lovely ladies and your needs. And thank you for caring and support. I feel like I complain too much. If it wasn't for this stupid disease, bet people would think I'm a hypochondriac. Hmm, I think I'd rather be the hypo than have this damn disease. And really we know the side effects of treatment are the majority of problems we suffer from. So I guess take another pill to counteract that other pill. Good graciousness this sounds like "Feed Your Head" song from Gracie Slick.
Mara, what a great save from falling. Hey I think you have superpowers! I know you sure are a good cooker. To the gals ready to "retire", I did find it disconcerting as I was 45 and loved my career as a Lic. Manager/Optician for 22 years. I reinvented myself when I was slightly better and rescued many special needs dogs and cats. They became my life line. MS gave me a difficult numbers of years, but in my case I'd say it takes a back seat to Stage4 B.C. Mallemiss251, my MO said the first tests showed possible Mesothelioma, then next test indicated neuroendocrine tumor. Finally the biopsy gave us the answer of Papillary/Micropapillary tumor. How confusing for you, but they'll sort it out and if you are not comfortable with the care team or just to be sure, go get a 2nd opinion. Waving hi to all that sent me lovely wishes and thinking of those struggling right now.
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Happy Friday ladies. It’s Easter weekend and this pathetic mother has to prepare Easter Baskets for my grown kids because I’m a sap! They usually love them still after all these years. Planning for dinner Sunday with ds, DH, dd, dbf, myself. Having shrimp scampi and Brussel sprout salad. Bread and cake. I have to start working on my ribbons for my mother’s memorial. I am spreading them out on the tables. I’ll get some pics. It’s next Saturday. I hope everything goes smoothly.
im in any pockets as needed. Sending out good vibes and love!1 -
Not sure what will go on today, I know every thing is closed today and Sunday for Easter. Doing some laundry now. Making an egg sandwich by heating english muffin in my breville and then cooking an egg afterward in the minigriddle. Spread garlic spread on english muffin, added some parmesan cheese as well on top of garlic and parm and put a small amount of shredded cheese. Edited to add, my brain wanted to get an extra extension cord for the bedroom since it is not routed through the kitchen so I could make the eggs at the same time, talked myself out of it and just shut off the breville heat, left the english muffin in the warm oven while I made the egg in mini griddle. Spread a little mayo on top of the muffins, added salt to the egg. The taste combo was better than McD and less expensive as far as the ingredients go. I really enjoyed the meal for a change. Still thinking chopped beans, pasta and beefless ground, not sure what I want to use on the pasta, got some cream of mushroom soup that I might make a sauce out of and just add other seasonings to it that I enjoy, I will see. Not a soup person. That will be the next meal though.
Forgot to mention, to all who celebrate or observe, have a good Easter weekend and in pockets for everyone who needs me.
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Irish - I too complain a lot, and even with this disease, I think I'm seen as a hypochondriac, but I guess that's the way it is. And I agree, it's all pretty much from side effects. People not going through this have no idea how bad the side effects are - not even the medical people.
Mel - Happy Easter weekend. I love that you do baskets for your grown kids. It's just the sort of thing I would do too.
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I hear you on the hypochondriac thing, but we know our own bodies. I know that I started "mentioning" my swallowing issues back in May of 2023. It wasn't officially diagnosed as mets to my esophagus until November.
I saw a speech-language pathologist, a gastro doc, then another gastro doc. We have to be out own squeaky wheels, right?
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Nobody who is mentioning symptoms or side effects should be labelled as a hypochondriac, especially with cancer. Any number of things can contribute to things like the drugs we have to take, the cancer itself or normal aging or disease we had before. Better believe if somebody said I was a hypochondriac, would correct them sharply. My family does not call me that either given my mobility issues. Those are improving but I probably would not walk around without my cane going forward. I should also practice walking with my walker as well, thinking in case I want to walk further though I think I would be better served taking the bus to the mall a couple times a week and get in the 15000 if I wanted it to represent the step count to and from the mall. Lots of places to sit as well if I tire out. We will see about that as it would be a better option than trying to walk in any sort of warm weather since I overheat quickly and that does me no good.
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Emac, hugs right back to you. Really glad to hear the catheters are giving you some relief.
Totally agree with the importance of speaking up (and being listened to) when we have concerns about what's happening with our bodies, be it side effects, other illnesses that aren't cancer, new symptoms that could be cancer...
May go to a quiet Good Friday service this evening, contemplation on suffering and loss of hope.
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Mae, I felt the same as you about my job, took calls for a cell company here. Last 5 years, I did it from home when I lived in my condo. I loved it since I made two offices out of my bedrooms and could be audited anytime, main office allowed me to watch youtube between calls. Worked through chemo but once the tumour showed up, could not do calls anymore. My brain just did not work. I too enjoy having free time most of the time as well.
Not doing anything specifically for Easter, my own choice. Going to treat myself to McD's tonight and possibly Sunday as well, we'll see. Big Mac Meal was almost 20.00 so changed too double cheeseburger and poutine, bought the big mac sauce for 40 cents instead to save a few dollars.
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Wow, I missed a lot while I was gone, and for some reason I no longer receive email notifications, so I shall investigate this…I ended up with a UTI during my trip and a painful cold sore on both lips so I am not too happy about it all. The visit itself was awesome but I doubt I will travel like that again…but to keep up…
Tina, so sorry to hear your news. Praying for you and that you will get some helpful options.
sf-cakes, and emac, you are both so young to retire, but we all understand. Try to find something to keep yourself purposeful. I went through retiring from my dream job with this disability so I get it. We all would love to be more active, and to feel good while doing it!
Tanya, going through faslodex shots each month is the pits! I had mine this morning and the pain I go through for four days is starting now…so wish I could do pills again! Sending positive prayers for no pain.
malleemiss, they never found the primary tumor source for me either, and I was Stage IV de novo and it was eight years ago. I understand the frustration. My oncologist at the time decided to treat for mbc and not focus on the source, and I have been travelling that course ever since. I am currently stable and doing pretty well. We all do what we can.
Sunshine and others, advocating for ourselves is not whining. One of the lessons I have learned is to be vocal. I had a doctor tell me that if a doctor resents you being vocal, then find another doctor. Their purpose is to fill our needs.
Hoping I feel well enough Easter to visit with family, but if not, not beating myself up over it.
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@intolight, sorry to hear about the UTI and cold sores - that doesn't sound like fun at all. Yes, my onc team is just focusing on my bone mets. Which is ok - bloodwork and tumor markers and how i feel are the big indicators at the moment. Luckily, I have had very little pain from bone mets and some of that might be age and misuse. Onc has grown tired of asking about pain. Which is ok by me. I will tell her if i get any.
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Intolight, I am sorry about the cold sores on you lips and the UTI. Hopefully both resolve soon for you. I hope you can soak the sores in some hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and water and put some Vaseline on at night to promote healing and make at least one thing feel better. Won't cure them but can heal them quicker. Just make a paste out of t he baking soda and water with a bit of hydrogen peroxide,leave on 30 minutes or so, rinse and cover with the vaseline.
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Well, I am unsure about what I want to do today, stores are open but will be super crowded. I am craving potato chips, thinking of walking down as far as I can to the closest grocery store which is a half hour away but along a bus route in case I get tired. That will be after breakfast anyway. I want to take along my wee knapsack to hold the water and couple of bags. I have a walker I can use but problem is my feet get tangled in the wheels, that would give me a place to sit, other option is just to go slow and steady as there is no actual rush. Slept well for a shorter time but that is fine, feeling energetic as I did a chair workout in bed,just as rejuvenated as if it was done while sitting.
Got my Amazon firestick playing videos on the browser, travel videos this time, earning money for the ads played which is good. Thinking about beans chopped up along with beefless ground pulled out of the freezer, a garlic taste, is what I imagine, premade pasta or rice and a shredded cheese, microwaved to melt cheese, another egg sandwich later today I think. We will see what I come up with.
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I ordered some groceries instead from Walmart, selected some good stuff like ground turkey and chicken, cheap at 2.97 each, some meat pies, dry pasta and some of the white popcorn and sour cream and onion popcorn along with Ruffles sour cream and onion, barbecue and sour cream and bacon, the treats will most likely be eaten as a snack. Was not feeling going in person to the grocery store since this is the busiest shopping day due to grocery stores being closed the good friday and easter sunday. Got the express delivery as well.
I have to say, ordering from Walmart is so much easier and the prices of all of the good stuff like meat pies, 5 cans of lentils and pasta among others is really inexpensive as well, the chips and popcorn are the pricier things ordered. I will order Walmart cards to pay the delivery fees in future but I have to say, they are the cheapest to purchase groceries from.
I got all items and the driver took my stuff upstairs for me so I got his email and did an interac etransfer so I could add to his tip. I think 4.00 is not enough for him picking it up.
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Happy Easter ladies. Hi Mara. Hope everyone is having a good day. Finally it’s not raining on a Saturday! But this coming week four of the five days is rain. April showers bring may flowers , I suppose. I am sending good thoughts and warm hugs. To everyone . Love to all.
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A friend came over today. She brought me/us freshly baked scones. She also made a QR code for my blog!
Then another friend stopped by with a beautiful orchid plant. I feel so loved. Two more friends are coming for dinner tonight. DH is cooking salmon, asparagus and roasted potatoes.
I'm going to try to put the QR code in here. Mods, if it's not allowed, please delete or let me know and I'll delete.
I'm no QR code expert, but all you have to do it aim your phone at it, and it will link to my blog. I had no idea one could do that, even though I've used QR codes before.
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Happy Easter to all that celebrate. There's always a sunrise service on the beach. Not sure about attending due to GI issues. I do hope everyone has a great Sunday.
Genevieve turned 10 this week. She bribed me with 10 hugs to leave her homemade fort (that takes up the whole living room) up for another 10 days. It's so worth it!! lol
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Sunshine99 - Sounds like you've been having a wonderful time. It is so nice to be/ feel thought of like that by so many. I'm really happy for you! ( I also wish I'd been there for dinner 😉. That sounds like my kind of meal!) Happy Easter, assuming you celebrate.🐰💐
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Sunshine - I'm just curious if your orchid is a Color Orchid (distributor). They're located near me and are supposed to be a national distributor.
Also, I'm envious of your salmon dinner. I'm going to have to work it into our rotation ‐ after I find a good source for it. I usually buy it at Sam's Club, but I may not be back to one before May when I go back for bloodwork. I'll have to check my closer grocers.
Happy Easter for all those who observe.
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@sunshine99 the QR code is fine! And glad to see the address in your signature.
Wishing you all much love on this Easter Sunday, for those who observe 🌷
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Love going out to all who are celebrating easter, either with kids and egg hunts, treats being shared or what ever you do. I don't do family on Easter anymore but thinking about a treat for dinner, not sure what I would have, we'll see. Supposed to warm up so may include some walking in the mix, outside I think, not nearly so hard to do as construction is 99 percent done, think they need to add some asphalt to fill up the wee ledges between road and curb, that will come.
Planning also for some bed exercises as well, paul Eugene, limited yoga and some pulling up to sitting though added a move where I am hanging onto the bed ladder and using abdominals to pull myself part of the way. It is amazing how much leg movement you can get there in bed, just an extra layer of work.
Not sure about breakfast, will likely be a plain buttered english muffin with some of the pinto beans mashed as a spread, put some beefless ground on each and a bit of shredded cheese on top, that would be good I think. Nothing else in my head, got tons of meat pies, ground turkey and chicken in my Walmart delivery, only 297 which was great as well. Perhaps the treat for dinner will be a proper meat pie with some extra beans or canned veggies to go with it, so many options. Been eating the CoolWhip as a dessert on its own since am not into pancakes, need to stick to smaller packages of an item, I have the huge pancake mix from Costco that will be given to DB along leftover syrup.
Sorry about the long yap, hope everyone has a good day no matter what is on the agenda, if alone today, do something you enjoy doing, treat yourself to something, in your pocket for the party with chocolate if you need it.
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Happy Easter, everyone. Dinner last night was a success. DH has been wanting to have people over for dinner. The issue for me is deciding what to have, coordinating the timing of everything, what people like to eat, etc. Well, this was a definite “will do again” meal. If we just have another couple in, then the amounts are easy to predict. I did, probably, over do the amount of roasted potatoes, but DH ate them for breakfast. The amount of salmon was perfect and we roasted one fat bunch of asparagus. Next time, I’ll try to remember to take photos.
The orchid is from Gubler (?) Orchids and it’s a Phalaenopsis Orchid. We seem to get a lot of orchids as gifts. DH is good with them, so they never die. I’ll attach a photo later.
Mods, thank you for the OK with the QR code. I’m not a tech wizard but it’s nice to have friends who are.
Mara, I keep toying with the idea of getting a mini waffle maker. There are so many interesting ideas of things that can be “waffled.” Are your meat pies like a tart or are they like a handheld pocket? (Does my question make sense?)
Planning on a quiet day here. Definitely a nap is in my future.
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Happy Easter to all! Even for those who don’t celebrate, it is a day of renewed hope for everyone.
Finally got my scan results back today. I got my bone scan results back within an hour of the test being completed but my CT results took a fricking week. I was starting to panic about possible results. Praise God everything is stable. How I pray we can all hear those words. Only new thing is a fatty liver. Will see MO on Wednesday and ask if I need more testing, I’m on statins which are apparently a no-no with a fatty liver. That’s a ? for my internist and I see him in July. Maybe I’ll shoot over a message on Mychart to ask.
Had brunch with DD and her family and in-laws. Going over to DD in a bit to roast a boneless leg of lamb for dinner.Hope everyone can enjoy something yummy today❤️
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Too good @goldensrbest. Enjoy the day.
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What a glorious day here in Central Florida. Fed the birds (squirrels mostly) and water plants as we haven't had rain. I made salmon, too. Just a little teriayki honey sauce and baked in the over. DH did side dishes. Last year for "Easter Bunny" visit, DGD told me there's no such thing. Well, she had a lovely basket and a beautiful day to swim.
Congrats on good scans folks. Always in pockets for scans and life's needs.
Tomorrow first Xgeva shots ever. Then video call with new MO. Then first round of radiation. The diverticulitis is a bit better, so I'll wear protection. Must admit I'm awfully nervous about radiation. Also the $600 copay for Xgeva is gonna be hard on the family. I've asked two sources and so far, nada. Zometa is no longer a consideration as my veins are blown on one arm and other has lymphedema, so trying to protect it. Had to allow use of that arm again this week. Took 4 sticks to get an IV going to do CT with Contrast. So no more Zometa to let these veins heal.
All those in the storms path be sure you are weather aware and stay safe.
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Irish start taking Claritin immediately. It helps with the side effects of xgeva. The first time I had it. It made my bones ache and I felt awful. So if you go tomorrow take one like now and one immediately in the morning. Hopefully two will be enough. A nurse told me that 8 years ago after my first time getting the shot and not knowing. Ever since I start taking it a week before to make sure. It really does help. I had a great Easter with my family. Love those moments so much … hope everyone got to love on those closest to us.
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Morning Sounds like many had a beautiful Easter. We hosted and it was also my son's 25th birthday we had a nice day with family. It was a lot of cooking but the reward is greater!
sunshine I love an easy salmon dinner and I feel like it's hard to screw that up lol. Glad you were feeling well and enjoyed your company
Mara Walmart does have the best prices and Their yearly membership is reasonable also. I have thought about subscribing but I am a Prime member and it's not worth it to have both. Glad to hear the construction is nearly done especially with the nicer weather on the way.
Goldens Congrats on stable that was an extra special blessing!
Irish In your pocket for treatment, fingers crossed it goes smoothly. Love hearing how you are enjoy your DG glad you were able to enjoy a nice day together.
Mel The weather this week is going to stink here in the NE multiple days of rain can be so depressing. Hoping that means nice weather for your mom's celebration of life this weekend for you.
HI to all and in your pockets for all appointments this week.💕
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