My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

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  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 738

    Mel - a belated Happy Birthday! I hope it was a great day even though it was your first without your mom. Our memories are such grand things, allowing us to go back to a different place and time. Did you get to revisit some of those yesterday? And of course for all of us in this living room, we understand that the passage of time is not a guarantee and so every birthday is a bit more poignant. I pray that the coming year will treat you well and bring you to the same place next year🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻.

    Our best friends left this morning. It was a wonderful visit. So blessed to have them in our lives. I know I had mentioned how our 2 families were intertwined. But the funny story is that we moved next to them when my husband was starting his residency. We had a dog back then named Hershey. He was about 45# and a mix of a golden and sheltie. When we moved in there was a privacy fence between our 2 yards about 2/3rds of the way down. The rest was regular chain link. My hubs put Hersheys dog house next to the privacy fence. We had a long cable attached to the house so the dog would be limited to his run of the yard. Except little did we know that Hershey decided to be Snoopy, jump to the roof of his dog house and then jump over the privacy fence, with the long cable still attached. Our friends found him on their side of the fence, suspended with his feet barely resting on the ground. The rest is history…..

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Great story, Goldens. Pets never cease to amaze, and you got lifelong friends out of yours.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 874

    Mel Happy belated Birthday, I hope you felt the loving presence of your mom surrounding you. Cheers to you!

    goldens Glad you had a nice weekend with your friends. Ha love that story! Animals crack me up, seems they always find a way.

  • tanya_djamila
    tanya_djamila Member Posts: 1,542

    Happy belated bday Mel. I hope you did something special for yourself. First Bday without mom you need lots of love and family hugs. 🫂

    Emac I’m so happy you made it home.

    Goldens nice you have such caring friends and relationships after all the years.

    Irishlove I lost my kitty but I think she left to die her way as she was old. I looked for her unconsciously for a long time afterward. No closure I think🥲

    Mara your kitty snuggle is precious. Thanks for sharing that. I have a spooning cocoon of cats stretched over around across you vision.

    I hope everyone is able to enjoy some peace this weekend.

    Take care

    Tanya

  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 598

    Hoping that everyone is safe and not in harms way of the storms. It's hot hot hot here. Severe t-storm last night, but nothing compared to others. First rain in weeks. I walked a few blocks looking and calling for Bootie and noticed everything is dry and a bit brown. This is the last night I'll purposely search for her. It's too upsetting. As someone else posted (who went thru this, too), there is no closure.

    To all the men and women and their families that served our great country, thank you. I was thinking of Nicolerod. Her husband is in the military, her son is in the military and sacrificed so much of her personal life being in a military family. God bless her memory and her family, too.

    In your pocket for all your needs.

    Laurel

  • goldensrbest
    goldensrbest Member Posts: 738

    Irish - I have never had a pet disappear, so I can only imagine how devastated you must feel. Unlike the death of a pet, this is so much harder as your thoughts take you to every possibility. I’m so sorry dear sister and animal lover💔❤️‍🩹.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Happy Memorial Day to all, with a special shout-out to Shanagirl1, as I hope she is doing well and feeling better!

    Pretty cloudy and blah here for a Memorial Day, but I will sure take this over tornadoes, excessive heat, etc. Stay safe, those of you looking at crazy weather.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565
    edited May 27

    Happy Memorial Day to my US friends, cloudy and blah sounds much better than tornadoes.

    Mel, hoping your birthday was good in places as well.

    Not much for me, raining here so skipping the walk outside, thinking of taking the bus to the mall, regular bus when it is free, really want those mini pot pies. Laundry will happen and money earning toward my next payment for my groceries, mobile game and also TV that pays for ads. Sweeping as well, must say, house looks better, always a bit of fur on the floor but with 2 cats, nothing to be done about that but sweep. My AC was leaking over the weekend, not sure if I flooded something keeping it so cold, was around 65 F, moved temp up to 77 in case it was being overused, got tons of fans so if I find it warm, can cool off with a breeze. I will get the AC unit professionally cleaned next year I think.

    Weird breakfast, put couple slices cheese, an egg, some carrot and part of a brussel sprout, added some garlic powder and cottage cheese. Ran the chopper to make it smooth and put in muffin pan at 375 for 20 mins, we will see how it tastes. Will be filling and I know it is all full of protein so cannot complain over that.

    I hope everyone has a good day and Memorial Day and in pockets for everyone else.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060
    edited May 27

    between Mother’s Day and my birthday I was completely spoiled. I got so many gifts I cannot count them. I’m very thankful to have such a wonderful family. Thanks for all the wishes ladies.. I missed my mother badly. It’s really bothering me. I can’t stop thinking about her and it’s not like every second but the hammer falls in my heart at least a few times a day. Yesterday at 415 the phone didn’t ring and it was again another reminder she was gone forever. I think this has been the hardest thing for me so far. Including being diagnosed. I’d do anything to have her back.
    happy Memorial Day to usa 🇺🇸 ladies. It’s a little rainy but the weekend was glorious. Stay safe. If you’re in storm areas. I love thunderstorms as long as everyone is safe. Hugs to all. Emac. Glad you’re home. Sorry the kitty never came back. That sucks.

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,427

    irishlove, we lost 2 kitties that just disappeared when we lived in the desert. I fear they became prey to the cayotes in the area. They were abandoned to our home originally. They stayed close to the house but our area was pretty wild. We have had many cats over the years, but after our last one passed, we have not had anymore. I am unable to clean up after them so we will settle for our dog which we love dearly although I do miss my cats.

    The weather is perfect today—finally. I even feel decent and plan on cooking a good bar b que dinner. However, it is Faslodex shots tomorrow so I need to enjoy the day while I can.

  • intolight
    intolight Member Posts: 2,427

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    in your pocket for those damn shots !

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    fantastic story. I hope some day you’re able to bring him home. Age should not matter. Thanks for sharing that with us ….

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Very interesting story. Thanks for posting it. Many thanks to Prvt Learn also for doing all he could for the rest of us, and making that ultimate sacrifice. Genealogy is fascinating and I really appreciate people like you who try to to do what they can to help piece this big human story all together. I had no idea that age factored into being able to provide useful DNA.

  • cookie54
    cookie54 Member Posts: 874

    Irish Great story, I hope that one day Pvt Learn is able to be brought home . He deserves a respectful burial for all he sacrificed for this country.

  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 598

    Good wee hours of the morning to you. Thinking of Illimae with the storms and power outages. I saw 102 degree temperature listed on the screen in one town where a storm chaser was broadcasting from. I can't imagine over a million people with no power and it could take weeks to restore, living without a.c. My heart really goes out to them and I hope FEMA is there taking care of them.

    In regard to Pvt. Learn descendents, it was explained to me that that they need a younger person as it costs a great deal of money and time and the fear is the elder would pass before they could close the case. Funny the 80 year old cousin is in better shape then me.

    In pockets for all your needs.

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Irish - So it's not age itself that is the DNA problem, but their process and procedures,etc. That's good to know. As you also aptly pointed out, age itself is not necessarily a predictor of how long a person might be around.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 462

    Good afternoon all. Ive been away from the forum a little while so I’ve been briefly reading and catching up. I just was not up to. Reading and typing. I’ve been contemplating calling my onc for pain med but I’ll be seeing him Tuesday next week for my Faslodex & Xgeva injections, so I’ll just try and get by on my OTC pain relievers. The pain is effecting my mobility, and balance so I don’t know what the heck is going on. My scans were all clear so i have a lot of questions for my onc regarding bone mets even though there’s no progression and unremarkable why all the pain throughout mt spine, and why do my ribs hurt so much with sharp pain when trying to get out of bed…

    I did get to enjoy some time planting flowers with DH and spent some time with family for Memorial Day BBQ. DH took me. Home early and I did have one day on Sunday, and felt well enough to make Spafhetti and white clam sauce for myself and my neighbor next door. His wife is in hospice, so we like to lookout for them.

    You’ve all been on my mind.

    @emac877 I’m glad you are feeling a little better and stronger and you team making it possible for you togo home from the hospital. You’ve been through so much these weeks.🩵

    @threetree thank you for keeping me in mind regarding Fasoldex and Xgeva. If my Onc reasssures me all this pain is from those treatments I can live with that, and if he tells me th pain is from my original mets, though not progressing, I can discuss pain alternatives, and I can live with that.It’s just not knwing that’s made me feel so down and exhausted.

    @irishlove I am wishing you a belated Happy Memorial Day in honor of your Great Uncle PVT Learn. 🇺🇸🇺🇸

    @micmel i love that picture of your Theo snuggled up to you in that selfie🥰and happy birthday‼️🥳(belated 😉)

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Shanagirl - Thanks so much for updating us all on how you are doing. A big congratulations on the good scans! Even if you're not feeling well all the time, it's a big relief to know the scans were good. Otherwise it sounds like a mixed bag; pain on the one hand, but some good times with friends and family also. I can sure relate to the aches and pains with Faslodex and bone drug. I hope you get some good and meaningful answers next week from your dr.

  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 598

    Good morning all. Glad to see shanagirl posting. We miss and worry about you and others that we haven't heard from in some time.

    Cancelled PT therapy today. I ate my first red meat dish in over two months and became violently ill. The diverticulitis or colitis (I can't tell the difference) is in over drive. Today I stuck with cereal and chicken noodle soup and sourdough bread. I think I need to do just broth for a few days as I feel so sick. The Gastro won't prescribe anymore antibiotics until I have a scan. I'm due for pet/ct June 10th, so I don't want to go to the hospital for this right now. Of course if I get too sick or the pain becomes to excrutiating, I'm sure I'll change my mind.

    I don't understand this disease. I'm so careful what I eat. This has been going on and off since November. The options are diet and hope or surgery. The surgeon didn't feel it was necessary just yet. Something about risk of another major flare is minimal. I believe I've had three so far, one where I thought I was dying and one right now that had me pack a overnight bag for the hospital if I give in on the pain. We'll see.

  • tanya_djamila
    tanya_djamila Member Posts: 1,542

    Irishlove that pain sounds horrible. I wish you a healing that leaves no ailment behind.

    Nice to see you Shana girl.

    Waving hello to all

    Tanya

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,833

    Irish - I want to second everything Tanya said above (thank you, Tanya). I just feel so badly for you and wish there was more that could be done, and asap! Fingers crossed that you will be much better as the day goes on and won't have to go to the hospital.🤞

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Irish, I am very sorry to hear about the illness, I am with Tanya in hopes that a treatment comes that does not trigger illness.

    It is nice and sunny so may take the bus, get a short walk around mall and look for the mini pot pies though chores are needed done as well, been lazy about my chores. Oh well, we will see what I can accomplish, set blocks of time to have things done by. Sleep was good last night, watched the movie The Fall Guy with Ryan Gosling, the acting was good, lots of action set pieces as well. I do remember the old show with Lee Majors but don't remember Mom watching it, might check that out as well. Food is changing back to normal for me, not going to detail meals for a while. I still feel it is insensitive to people who are unable to eat.

    Hoping everyone has a good day and in pockets of those who need it. I am thinking about Emac as well and where she is at as far as her many struggles.

  • micmel
    micmel Member Posts: 10,060

    I have realized I cannot have anything spicy…..as I age it becomes harder to eat certain things. I find I get full a lot sooner and nothing really appeals to me except sea food. It’s annoying adding. My mouth issues add to it. Definitely a challenge to eat sometimes. (I was never offended by your food discussion Mara). Hope all is well with everyone. And pain can knock it off. Love to all

  • moderators
    moderators Posts: 8,744
    edited May 30

    Letting you all know that tomorrow (Friday may 31) at 12noon, ET we're hosting a special meetup on Questions around Palliative Care with Dr. Joe Straton, a specialist. If you would like to join, register here:

    https://breastcancer-org.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZAvc-CoqjwrHNL4jnVXMjOjAer-KDlYte1M

  • malleemiss251
    malleemiss251 Member Posts: 644

    @mara51506, even though I don't eat a lot, I always derive pleasure from seeing and hearing about what others are eating or drinking and the recipes and look forward to trying them when I am eating normally again. Thank you for sharing your recipes and ideas.

  • shanagirl
    shanagirl Member Posts: 462

    @irishlove how maddening and painful Digestive issues are. I honestly don know anything about diverticulitis. My Aunt had it and couldn’t eat seeds.

    @micmel My appetite and eating habits have changed as I’ve gotten older. Although I mostly eat seafood and homemade Keizer…I usually at coconut ice pops. Every day and salads but salads often make me nauseous if the lettuce is not ultra fresh and crisp.

    @tanya_djamila Hi Girl. 👋 waving Hello to you too.🌺

    @mara51506 Glad to hear you enjoyed a movie 🍿

    Hi all and. Wishing a peaceful painless evening. 🩵

  • irishlove
    irishlove Member Posts: 598

    Oh Mara please don't stop sharing your receipes and food ideas for the day. I truly enjoy reading about them and actually all of your posting!

    Thanks everyone for your support and sharing your struggles, too. I know I'm not alone in this. Decided to use pain meds and just liquids with one bowl of corn flakes for the day. You know you can only watch so many You tube ideas on this subject. It sounds like time is what I need and then learn to eat only certain foods again. I have no desire for surgery.

    Did anyone catch the show about NYU doing a new type of treatment for cancerous tumors? At this time they are only approved for liver tumors. I'm not sure I understand the procedure but it has something to do with treating the tumor with excellent success without standard radiation. I'd have to rewatch it to give more information, but they expect to use this for other types of cancer and eventually areas besides the liver. Interesting story as the patient had stage 4 pancreatic cancer and they were able to "blast" the tumor in the liver and she had whipple sp? surgery. She is considered NEAD at this time.

    In pocket for all your needs.

  • mara51506
    mara51506 Member Posts: 6,565

    Mel, was out with DB and SIL walking the mall, neither of us had too much to get grocery wise. We stopped at the food court, I got a donut and a coke. I could only finish half the donut and bit of the coke, SIL suggested I take the rest home but I did not bother.