My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
-
I think it is painful on both ends when not getting along with any loved one, particularly a child or a parent. I tend to give my kids the benefit of the doubt when they are pissed off at me because (a) I can overreact and (b) I want to get along better with them now we're all adults together. I was sort of bossy as a mother, sort of controlling, not horrible but a few degrees too tense... and it matters to me to change that tone, to something more unconditionally-approving, low key, and fun to be around. Not that my kids are perfect but I see my/ their Dad's parts in their flaws and basically they are very good kids of whom I am very proud.
And I am not a doormat, either. I agree about having boundaries and not giving energy to fruitless dramas. Rising above others' petty acts is a great satisfaction in fact.
Meanwhile, in your shoes Grannax, I would mail post cards or send email or play minecraft or chat on the phone.... whatever would keep you well connected with your GS, who is not one bit at fault here!
0 -
Pippy~Hello friend... welcome to our home. Ibrance does have a fatigue kick. I know our lynnwood was onibrance for four years. Amazingly so! I am starting my 30 month tonight. I do although have an inner voice saying my rib feels a little weird this past month a certain way I move. But I cough a lot. Ibrance has taken me so far to NEAD. My markers have stayed level and normal and my hair grew like a weed... although slightly thinner I must say... fatigue is my issue for sure. Sometimes a sore mouth, some sinus inssues/ infections. I do feel blessed to be able to take it. You'll have it covered. They always find a way!! Oncologists offices have tricks they also use to make sure their patients are covered. I wish you well and hope you'll visit with us as well as learn from the wonderful women on the ibrance thread. Wonderful people!!! Cureious...is also a world of knowledge! I am very sorry to hear of your diagnosis, ibrance is a great drug and I hope it works for you, for a very long time. Tanya is on ibrance. Divine just started it this month. I believe and Philly is also on ibrance. It's actually the first line that most doctors issue. Big hugs of love and support. These women are amazing warriors here. I know some might not like the battle phrase which I don't really use. But as I sit and watch these amazing women, and they share their lives and strengths. It is something to behold.. I learn from these ladies. We share things here. Everything actually. It's my safe place and I hope you sisters feel the same.
~M~
0 -
today I took a break. I needed it. My strength was gone....I slept all day. Allllllll day. I am ready for bed again. Tomorrow I am on Dad duty again. I don't Mind, but I'm worn out. I really am. I popped my head outside to let the dogs out and I smelled the fresh beautiful air. I looked around. I heard a mans voice just chatting to his neighbor about the weather while he was taking the trash down. They both turned and went into their regular homes and didn't have to immediately lay down. They didn't have to make sure to carefully walk down the stairs. I'm sure they didn't wonder why this pain in. Your rib won't go away. Then they say, ohh you've been picking up your 100 lb father, and moving him from his bed to his wheel chair. Of course you're going to be sore, you're also fighting bronchitis. Everywhere I go I see healthy people moving about. I have to plan days events and like Tanya said. Push through so badly I almost feel strained sometimes. I am on deck for tomorrow, so I pray I'll find the strength to do it. I know he's already waiting for me. At least I got his drink issue solved. When the man wants a drink. He gets one!! Hello to you sweet sisters and friends
Mae~ I'm watching Dexter. Awesome show. Just finished Orange is the new black. Awesome as well! Loved it! Finished OZ on HBO! Loved it. My DH is into Brooklyn 99! Says it's good! Hooked on Dexter though. Hugs
Hello Santa~Tanya~Donna~Muddling~Divine~Stilllivin~Pots~Skitz~Blueshine~Parry. Love you sister~Bigbhome ~...Lynnwood~Minnie~My Gracie Sweet friend~Lynne(50's)💜~ Chelle my girl always~ MJH~Dodgers~pippin~Iwrite~Hello Sweetheart always love seeing you here and your pic of the grand baby warms my heart! Always love to see you at our little home. There is always a seat with your name on it. Cureious~Hello lovely...Hope all is well...Hi Philly~ love your spirit and energy. Love that you keep it real. That's what we need for sure! Hope~Shout out to you~ Runor~Hello my friend. Thank you for reaching out....GP~ my darling...JKL...JFL...sunset~.....joe~Rosie~Gum doctor~Jaycee...
I want to say thank you to all the PM's I get that tell me how much our words and thread help them. They read everyday and follow our days as if they were living them through us.... I thank you for caring and if I have ever had one word help anyone's it was worth it.if I have missed someone please know I'll be back!
0 -
Baaaad day. Got kicked off Gemzar because doc doesn't think it's working after four cycles. CEA keeps rising. That's my second chemo fail. MRI tomorrow. PET next week. Possible next step...y90. The last chemo I will try is Abraxane...if that doesn't work I'm officially chemo resistant, hormone resistant and near the end of my luck. 8 years ago, I didn't think I would make it 5 years. By 5 years I was confidant that I would make it to 10 years. I think I'll get my wish......just. If you had told me 8 years ago that I would get 10 years from this diagnosis I would have been thrilled. So I guess I'm happy for that. But , day-am, that time went fast.
A Beautiful Sunset
0 -
Grannax, I am so sorry you are dealing with the family drama. With respect to your DS's children, unless a grandparent is putting a child in harm's way (failing to watch over the kids, keep them safe or something like that), then DS and DIL need to ease up. I have a 4-year old and don't agree with everything (many things, actually) my MIL does but so long as my son is safe, I just let it go. All of the sugar she gives him drives me nuts (she gave him an Oreo for breakfast this morning and feeds him sweets at and between every meal) but I tell myself, she is the grandmother and can do that. I draw the line when she disputes what I say and tries to undermine my authority and tell my son he can do things right in front of me that I just told him he can't do. However, when I toughen up and tell her no, she seems to respect my decision, back down and support me. She has a much stronger personality than me and is much louder, all the time, and opines on everything. I think I surprised her recently when I started standing up to her when it came to undermining my authority. However, the rest of it, I pretty much shake it off. I totally understand tension with in-laws - we all have it - but it sounds like DIL/DS are taking it too far. You are the grandmother and are not the parents. Your role is not to be a clone of them but to be yourself. It sounds like what you did with your grand daughter - telling her not to come out of her room until she changed her attitude is the type of boundaries GD should have. Perhaps her parents are not as strict and she gets away with more with them? Regardless, I am sorry you feel you have to avoid doing something that brings you so much joy - spending time with your grandkids. I don't know how but I pray for a miracle that these issues will resolve themselves so that you can enjoy being a grandmother.
0 -
lynwood sorry about the progression but wow 4 years on ibrance!! i pray that you have the same experience on xeloda.
grannax- it’s awful the way you DS and Dil is treating you. i know exactly how you feel. my so. has totally stopped coming around which means that i don’t get to see my grandsons at all. this time last year we suffered a terrible loss when my son and DIL lost their child. during that time my DH and i were willing to drop everything and take care of the other two boys for 3 months (we were good enough then) but something happened in October and all that changed ( still trying to figure it out). we went from having the boys every day to not seeing them at all. Please enjoy your time with your grandchildren even if it’s not alone. it’s funny how we raised our children thinking we did a great job and everyone around you thinks the same but your own children don’t. i have ran a preschool for 28 years and hundreds of people trust me with their children but not my own.
50s you look great!!
0 -
A beautiful sunset sad to hear about your bad day. All those treatment fails. I know it sounds trite but we all hang on to a hope for a cure, a clinical trial, some inner healing or answered prayer until we can’t. You are a courageous fighter, so young with young children. I pray for all the best for you and your family.
Sending you hugs and encouragement; I love your handle ie., a beautiful sunset.
Tanya
0 -
sunset~envision me standing next to you holding your hand. I am sending you warm loving hugs to get you through the day. We adore you and are here for you no matter what! That they have to find you something to help. They just have too. Everyday with this shit disease Is too much for all of us. I agree. Time moves entirely too fast. It just never is enough. Never. 🌹 love you sweet sister and we are in your pocket
0 -
This was posted on Ibrance thread and I heard it on the news this morning.
Vaccine cure research showing promise.
Tanya
0 -
I did have a very long, heartfelt talk with my DS on Sunday. I think things have the potential to be better. Unbeknownst to me, he and my DIL have decided to go back to the counselor to discuss things they could do better in regard to me being with my grandchildren. Mainly, communication of expectations, etc. So, I have hope again but I haven't changed my boundaries and won't until after we have our next meeting. MEETINGS As far as I can see on my calendar it's going to be filled with meetings. While I am thankful for resolution and change, I don't know how I'm supposed to do all those meetings at the same time I'm taking who knows what type of TX. I am not wonder woman. I'm going to my counselor today to debrief, as she calls it. Boy, do I need this meeting. I know she was as appalled as I was at some of the things that they said. My DD and I will meet twice a month, at first with my DIL too, then just the two of us.for who knows how long.
The big tear jerker for me this morning is who is going to help me through my TX for the next however long I get to live? They are expecting all this from me but what are they doing to help me when I need it? I know it's very important to resolve issues before a loved one dies, Micmel you are doing this, but where's the giving that I will need?
Beautiful sunset. I'm sad to read your post. That time will come for all of us and it makes me hate this disease more than ever. But, it sounds like " it's not going to be today". You know I have a lot of faith and experience in y90. In fact, yesterday at my PET I had them send a disc to my IR. I don't know how my new MO will feel about that, I expect she will think I should go to an IR in her facility, but I self advocated and did it anyway. I'm getting so bold in my old age. Please keep posting, letting us know when you find out.
.
0 -
ABeautifulSunset, I am sorry to hear about your horrible day. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to hear the news. My heart and prayers go out to you as you find your way through this current situation. I keep hearing how far researchers have come in the development of mbc treatments, but there is still so far to go. If there are so many new treatments, why is there still no cure? Why do some of us continue to see treatment after treatment fail us? I know that there are no answers, and I do admit that some advances have been made. I hope that you are able to have the Y90 procedure and that it works well for you. While it has been used against metastatic colon cancer for some time, it seems to be under-utilized in the mbc setting. Some MOs seem to be skeptical, but we have heard many positive results on these boards.. Eight years with mbc is amazing, but I know it is not enough, and I know those eight years have not always been easy for you. How are you feeling physically? I hope your MO finds the right treatment for you and that it works for a long time. Please continue to keep us updated.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
0 -
micmel, I love dexter too! Great show until the finale, I had a way better ending in mind. So, excited for Game of Thrones return in Sunday, which will include a celebratory dinner and dessert.
Abeautifulsunset, in your pocket for the PET 🤪 I know nothing of Y90 but can say that I found abraxane quite tolerable, if that’s what’s next. There’s an Abraxane thread that Gracie and I still contribute to, lots of good info/tips.
Not much to report here, just household chores and going to the gym later. I hope this day has something good for everyone.
0 -
Holmes, It is nice to hear from you. Has it really been a year since you lost your precious grandchild? I remember it so well. I am sure you still suffer the pain of that loss. Keeping that in mind, it might enter into the behavior you are seeing on your son and DIL. Everyone processes and reacts to loss in their own way. Maybe your DS and DIL are still trying to cope and adjust. Perhaps they are holding tight to your grandchildren in an effort to find solace and peace at a time when something unthinkable is still so painful. It sounds like you have done nothing to cause the reaction you see. Hopefully, things will improve soon. I know from experience how much it hurts to see your child exclude you from your grandchildren’s lives. I pray that your DS and DIL soon realize that their actions are hurting all of you. You and your dh are an important part of your grandchildren’s lives. In the meantime, think of all the good times you have already had with them. Maybe those thoughts will bring a smile to your face.
Grannax, Your issues are so hard to hear about. First of all, I don’t understand how expecting your granddaughter to treat you in a respectful manner could be looked upon as something negative. Anytime my parents or in-laws or sister or friend watched any of my children, I fully expected that person to set limits. I did not think they were trying to take over as “mom”. Holy cow, what is happening? It sounds like most of your meeting went well. It is a good idea for you son and DIL to continue with the counselor. I think they need to sort things out. As far as help with your care is concerned, do you think that your family will not be willing to help you or go with you to appointments if you need and want them there? Do you want them there? If not, the American Cancer Society does provide free transportation to appointments in many areas. It might be worth looking into. Unfortunately, that would not provide you with someone who would be in your appointments with you. I know that I like to have someone with me for most appts so they hear what I hear and ask questions that I might not think of. Do you have a good friend who would be willing to accompany you? I know you want to resolve issues with all your family members as soon as you can. I understand those feelings. I have one family member who refuses to try in spite of many attempts by me. I have had to try to move on, but it pains me because I feel he will have regrets once I am gone. (Who knows, maybe he will celebrate instead!) I am eager to hear what treatment your MO has planned for you next. You have so much going on right now. Take care of yourself. It is easy to overdo it.Keep us informed.
Sorry for this long post.
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
0 -
Just booked a quick trip for DH and I to Vegas in a few weeks and got a reservation for dinner at Gordon Ramsay’s Hells Kitchen in Cesar’s Palace. Ramsay’s Beef Wellington is a bucket list item for me. (Squealing) 🤪
0 -
Holmes~I am sitting here realizing how strong you are and that you and your family are in my thoughts and please know if I had a magic wand, it would be put to great use... I adore seeing you here. Sending you loving hugs and support for your difficult memory....
Tanya~I thought of you today... someone in my Family is driving down to Florida in a one night drive. I was thinking like 24 hours. But wasn't sure. Don't know what part exactly, but knew you were in Tampa. I would just love to walk the beach like In that beautiful family photo you posted... hope you had a beautiful day...
Grannax~Stay strong, you're a wonderful grandmother. IMO kids could use a little more structure these days parents tend to look to others at school to teach things that should be already taught from home. Stand your ground but continue to be your loving self. Because that self was always pretty special! Hugs beautiful!!
Lynne(50's)~always love to read your support sweet posts. You really are such a wonderful friend to us all....
Mae~There you go again. On the move!! Blast blast! As usual! I am only one season two of Dexter. I don't believe how hooked I already am. The first season was fabulous, I can't imagine it getting better. But it is. GOT!! I am beyond over the moon with that one for sure. Great television soon to come. Then the bachelorette will come back on. I hope you have a blast on your next treck. Be safe.
JFL~Hello there darling... I am realizing every single family has their issues. Every single family. Even if they choose to show the window dressing. My family is a train wreck. Not my immediate inner family. I mean my childhood family, my siblings. The divorce.... no one came out unscathed. Even my kids were effected by my divorce. Even though I did my best to be the parent.. I could. No one is perfect. Grandparents are so important. My kids lacked that part. It's sad. Really sad. We can just be good people. That's all we can do... much love ~M~
0 -
Beautiful day outside again. I have a day off today with my dad. I went yesterday and spent three hours with him. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot but it was constantly taking care of him. He prefers my step mother and myself around. When I am not around he’s asking when I will be around. I have been taking every other day. But I’m beat. I love him. But I don’t want to get sick again. I heard something today, “there is time to sleep when we are dead” I feel that way, but fatigue is a horse of a different color.... geeze this life is hard. Mbc screw you!
0 -
Pace yourself, Micmel! Enjoy some downtime in the sun today!!
0 -
Thanks again ladies, for being in my corner. Tomorrow I will go alone to get my results and find out about my new TX. Yes, it's by choice. I do so much better when I am not side tracked or interupted. In the past, when my SIL and DD went with me I got very distracted and off track of what was being said by my doctor.
Also, until we get issues resolved, I don't trust any of my family. Yesterday morning I found out that they have all been keeping secrets from me since February 25. OMG. The newest ones revealed is that my DD told my DS six weeks ago, I just found out yesterday. Now, I have to repair that relationship. It was my understanding from everyone that we, the family, wanted to keep this event small. I did. I only talked to the friend who picked me up from the parking lot. I now know that 20 people have been told. OMG. I wanted to scream at my DD but I didn't, I went to my counselor. I told her when we have our next meeting I'm going to reveal what I know and ask for NO MORE SECRETS and a full reveal of everyone who has been brought into this mess without me even knowing. Also, I found out that DDi went behind my back and call my former MO. She asked her to have my brain MRI reviewed to make sure I didn't have brain damage.
So, nope. She's not going with me anytime soon. Also, I didn't put her name down or my DS on the release for my new MO to tell them any test results or anything else. I think they are/were thinking I would get diagnosed with a mental illness to justify their fear. Bipolar, paranoid schizophrenia anything to justify keeping the children away from me. But, my counselor nixed all of that. But, I'm telling you if anything will make me paranoid, talking behind my back is sure to do it. It's my reputation being spread around, and I sensed it when I would hear certain questions being asked that seemed to come from somewhere unknown to me.
My counselor said they are trying to take your power away. I'm thinking what power? The power you have as the oldest in this family. I'm sure has insight that I don't have so I appreciate her but don't quite get that. She was very happy to hear that DS and DIL want to come in for another session. She especially pointed out that my DIL had issues with me that were long standing. This event added fuel to a fire that was already burning for years.
Meanwhile, until this family drama is in a better place, I will go by myself until and if there is no other way. Then I will have one of three friends take me, who have revealed all that was being kept secret and have promised that if any other information is shared, it will be immediately told to me. No more secrets between us at least.
Moving on seems to equal finding out more of the story that was being hidden.
And, tomorrow at 8:40 AM my hidden mets will be revealed. Yikes I hate this but love receiving a plan at long last.💞
0 -
Santa~Thank you. I have one errand to run and that’s it. I’m going to binge watch some more Dexter and rest when I feel like it. Apparently, he’s crabbie today. One good thing is, he knows I am sick, so when he complains and gets mad. He calls someone else. The place he’s at is a great facility. But its not home ! I didn’t realize how long of a duration this may really end up lasting. This man is fighting, he honestly is. Sharp in his mind, like all of us, but slowly failing bodies.... please also have a good day and I Am sending hugs! Ty for caring! Hope all is well in your world! 🦋🦋🌹
Parry? Honey you ok. ?
Much love to all. ~M~
0 -
grannax - I think what your therapist may be talking about is how there are different roles in families that are commonly seen. The role of the oldest (the elder, the matriarch, etc...) in tribes and traditional communities is one that demands respect. It is a role filled with wisdom and life experience. It sounds like what your therapist is talking about is that your tribe, your family, is trying to undermine your role as the wise elder and diminish your ability to think for yourself and the tribe, by trying to take over. But YOU ARE STILL HERE and you are doing just fine and your mind is sound! They are preemptively making moves and forgetting that you are still a human being with a heart and a voice and feelings. I believe that within family and tribal units, it is normal for the next generation to, at some point (typically with death and/or severe debilitation), step into the matriarchal or patriarchal role. Your family (perhaps DS?) is doing this too soon. You are not debilitated and you are not dead. They are not respecting you and your humanity. This is what I took from what you wrote that your therapist said.
Micmel - I hope you get to rest and enjoy this gorgeous sunshine. The toll of MBC AS WELL AS the toll of being a caretaker at the same time has got to be exhausting. I am a care taker too, of my parents, and of my patients. I need a LOT of rest and TON of me time. Today would be a perfect day to get outside and take a gentle walk around and smell the delicious spring blossoms that are filling the air! Sunshine and fresh air and a nap (and dexter)???
I am recovering from the Lupron and Xgeva injections I received on Monday. I felt completely bonkers afterwards and am just feeling somewhat normal today. Have a little annoying cough/hack that I can’t figure out if it is a small cold or allergies? Hoping to drag my tushie to the gym. I always feel better with exercise but I also don’t want to use up any resources that my body is using to fight this cough thing.
Sunset - I am following your posts and so relieved for you that your scans came back better than you were imagining. What a relief!!! Giant hugs!!!!
Love to all,
Philly
0 -
Micmel you are a great daughter! You know your dads needs and you strive to make him comfortable. He’s blessed to have you in spite of all.
Most of my family lives in NY. I’m happy that my husband and I moved from there. We had a dysfunctional childhood and some of us didn’t fare so well. I didn’t realize how stressful some of the family gatherings were bc I was busy raising my children, working, etc. Lots of backbiting, alcoholism, substance abuse and nastiness which I figured out later. At the end of the day I chose to love them all from afar. I visit and know I’m leaving in a few days. Everyone’s sober now so things are a lot better. Family.
Grannax that secret meeting stuff is a low blow. Trying to place a mental health diagnosis on someone through their medical records sounds like the makings of a tv series. Just love your grandchildren to the best of your ability. Let the adults wallow in the mess that they’ve made.
Mae I love traveling!!! It gives me something to look forward to. Enjoy your beef Wellington.
Philly I had my faslodex shots yesterday. I hope I slept it off and can get out today. My zometa infusion is now changed from monthly to once every three months. Next few weeks PET scan.
A beautiful sunset Holmes Jfl Minnie Santa 50s girl lynnwood and everyone else I forgot enjoy the day.
Tanya
0 -
Just popping in to say hi. Been resting mostly. Take care everyone
0 -
Thank you, Philly. I think that's exactly what she's was saying to me. I know I should know this but tell me again please, are you a doctor or nurse?
I had the most fun today in the midst of finalizing my updated will, serious business for sure. My DD and two of her friends were there as witnesses, at the bank with the notary.
A little background, my dad went nuts after my mother died, he then married the meanest woman he could find and added her son to our family trust. She took control of everything, even though she had been DX w Alzheimer's. Then all his money disappeared, we got nothing.
So today as I am driving down to the bank, it occurred to me that if I was my dad or if I had gotten his crazy gene, I would tear up this new will of mine have a new one made leaving everything to Javier ( The carpenter who has done all my kitchen remodel, etc) and his eight children. And I would take my kids off and they would get nothing. Plus, I would go home bolt my door with a 2x 4, load my gun and just wait for them to try to get in. Believe it or not my dad did all of this and more after my mother died.
Sometimes, since Bob died, I wondered will I go nuts when I get old and stressed and do stupid hurtful stuff that my dad did to his children? Today I found out I do not have my dad's crazy gene. I did not do what my dad did to me and my siblings. I am of sound mind. Yippee. My kids should be applauding me. Here it is, DD and DS. You've been given the power. What diagnoses do you want to try to pin on me now?
0 -
Mae, Wow, so jealous!
Hi to all, I've been busy, then just fall into bed and sleep. Love to all
0 -
Parry~Thank you for letting us know you're resting and taking care of you. It makes me happy to know you're taking time to rest. I need some of that also. My Dad is holding his own. I'm finding it an exhausting thing to be a patient and a caretaker. My spine feels like glass.. I need a month solid of rest.
Tanya~ I am trying to be strong for him. I am trying to push myself to do things just as I have heard you say. I also know you're on ibrance, I know that you feel the train of fatigue. But then again I am convinced, all of the treatments bring that feeling of exhaustion!!! I hope you had a beautiful day.
Minnie~ I hope you're sleeping like a baby now. Resting and gaining strength for tomorrow.....
Philly~I think you're amazing and that you are quite a fighter as I can see in your attitude and how you support everyone around you. Quite like I try to do. Amazing bunch of women. Here. Serious understanding of ones lives . I know how difficult taking care of a parent is. I wish I didn't feel like such a burden to my DH. He's an amazing man. He deserves better. Way better. It's just not really fair, at all.
Grannax~Strong woman! My mother moved to Memphis to be near Elvis. She wanted to be near a place where a person was wasn't even alive, then to be around her actual family. Now I know that finances had a big part to do with that choice , and her loosing our family Home. I know what it's like to have a family that is un predictable , every which way you turn ..just keep your moral compass. You'll be true to who you are. I know I have. Hugs sweet woman. ~M~ Compass
Waving to Mae. Goodnight ladies.
0 -
I am realizing I’ll never be ok again so.......this is how I can move on. Move forward. One step... I am tired and need to visit my Dad... today. It’s my day. I’m tired. I don’t have any energy. I hope I can find it somewhere. Much love ~M~
0 -
sending you lots of love and energy to get through the day Micmel!!!! Take breaks as you need!!! Forgive me if you have explained this previously but I am curious, why are you your fathers primary care taker? Is there a way to get him into assisted living so you can have more support from others? I love you too and you are strong and beautiful!!! You are amazing and your love and strength show through your posts and how much you make each and every one of us feel loved and seen each day. I get happy when you give you me a shout out!! It truly makes me feel special ❤️❤️❤️🌸🌸❤️❤️
I know that many of us folks on these boards are caretakers...as women, we tend socially get placed as caretakers and/or by our own doing. There is something about caring for others that energizes me as well as completely zonks me. I have had to find a balance and I still teeter totter daily, some days I am better than others.
Grannax - I am a practitioner of Classical Chinese medicine - medically licensed in PA and NJ. I also use massage, nutrition, and Chinese herbal medicine in my practice. A lot of of what I do revolves around pain and trauma (who doesn’t have any of that?). While I was in grad school doing my clinical rounds and research, I focused on oncology and worked mainly with oncology patients. To be honest, while I know I have a lot of valuable information up my sleeve, I have decided to not focus on oncology in my practice as it just hits too close to home for me at this time. I recently had a patient who came in, stage 3 BC, with multiple children who love her and she was doing every single complementary thing (getting her silver fillings removed, working with like 5 different naturopaths, traveling the world to work with shamans, etc...) except accepting conventional medicine. She was filling out thousands of dollars to all these practices and her message was: I want to live, but I don’t want to go through treatment. I can completely understand that and sympathize with her, however, it got my blood up so high and, even though I didn’t push my ideals onto her, it was a highly stressful time for me, working with her. The kicker was, she never paid me!! Argggghhh!! Anyway - I feel like the lesson of the universe for me is that I should probably not put too much time and energy into an area of medicine that’s too close to home for me. I worked that one out with my amazing therapist!!
(Sorry for the long rant there at the end - it just came out!!)
Happy Thursday to all!
Love,
Philly
0 -
Waving hi to everyone! I swallowed my first Xeloda dose last night, 6 pills! Had another dose this morning. Just laying low today since I’m not sure how my body will respond. Got my supplies.. Imodium, Hans and foot cream and gloves. So far so good, on my 3rd 16 oz bottle of water. I’m a caregiver too, my mom is 81 and faster becoming more forgetful and confused every day. Still alert enough to know that she’s forgetful and this makes her argumentative and angry. Had her to the doctor on Tuesday who recommended an evaluation by a neurologist which she is refusing. She denied to the doctor that I am her medical POA because she simply doesn’t remember. I’ll find a way to get her to the neurologist if it’s the last thing I do. I have not told her of my progression because she won’t remember anyway. I’m exhausted from dealing with her and the stress of a new treatment. My brother, husband and grown sons are amazing and help with her also. Lots of difficult conversations mast be needed soon.0
-
I have a new plan. I'll be starting Xeloda on Saturday, 3500mg daily for two weeks, one week off. Yes, my liver and lung chest mets have gotten bigger. Unfortunately, the previous scans I brought to my new facility did not get put into their system. MO not happy, she actually filed a complaint. So, I drove back home, got them and took them to the Cancer Center. My day started early. At 7:30 I was on the highway, in traffic for my one hour trip to the CC. Visit w doc, drive back home with no traffic, 30 min, deliver and drive back home again.
All that to say, the report is very confusing because of the no comparison fail. I'm sure there will be another reading done including comparisons. Very frustrating. From what I could remember of my previous scans, my lung mets took up a lot more uptake than they had before. There are multiple areas that are very concerning in the lung, plurel space, even some fluid accumulation, Also, areas in the mediostynum area near my esophagus. And the liver there are the three that showed up in the December scans only showing more uptake now. They are right in that space where the two lobes join.
She's going to re scan in two months after that result we can discuss y90. She just wants me back on systematic TX fast, she does like Xeloda. And hopes my tumors will respond quickly. I will see her again in one month. Hopefully, with no glitches the next time.
0 -
Grannax and Lynnwood, It looks like you are joining the Xeloda train together. I hope you both have long and successful rides with no bumps along the way. Make sure that you tell your MO if you have SEs including HFS. Grannax, you are on a fairly high dose with a 14/7 schedule. Many reports show that a 7/7 scheduke is just as effective with fewer side effects. That is not to say that everyone on the 14/7 has problems. That is definitely not the case. In fact, I am pretty sure that Mary Jane followed the 14/7 schedule and had a pretty easy time on Xeloda. Your MO knows your history and your needs and is in the best position to recommend what is appropriate for you. I just worry about everyone here, and I want to stress that it is important to report problems. Many have experienced relief of SEs when the dose of Xeloda was lowered. Lynnwood, You took 6 pills in the evening? Yuck, that's a lot of pills! Are they 250 mg each? Mine were 500 mg, so I never took more than 3 at a time, but they were BIG. I am glad that you have both started your new treatment plans. I hope you both join the ranks of so many others who have found Xeloda to be tolerable, easy, and effective!
Hugs and prayers from, Lynne
0
