My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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BooBoo~I totally agree with you and how you noted that you understand why people choose to stop treatment. I honestly would consider it. Should things start to look really bad I’m not going. To torture myself or my family watching me fade away from what I was. Not to mention the physical toll it begin to takes. With this sinus infection I was like wow this sucks bad. Then I thought of Mae!!!
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Moomala, Cancer does suck. I hope you get some answers from the thoracic surgeon, especially what does he/she propose to do f the lung tumor is lung cancer, not MBC. If it shrunk with I/L it would appear to be breast cancer, but then I’m not a doctor of any kind, I just read a lot. And, keep in mind you’re not obligated to follow the recommendation if it doesn’t feel right to you. You have been through so much recently and you do have a lot of guts. The thing is though, none of us wants to be faced with things that demand guts. For me, I just do what I have to do to try to survive this thing and other people think I’m tough or strong.
And add me to the people that cry when someone is nice to them. My biopsies (3 suspicious areas) before dx were done with ultrasound and two were bleeders that needed hard compression by the radiologist. I made it ok, but was scared and shaky. The last one had to be done with the stereotactic mammo in another room. The radiologist saw that I was barely holding it together and put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me, and told me I was doing great. Well here come the tears. Then the breast squishing and the waiting while they looked at the images, and a nurse is holding my hand during this. More tears. I’ve had tons of tests and scans and procedures since then but that biopsy day was my hardest yet. I’m thankful for the kindness.
Shetland, I’m here to listen too. I hope your day today is a little or a lot better. I’m happy to have found Mel’s living room and all of the lovely people here.
Tanya, Great pic of the pj party!
Mae, Thinking of you.
Mel, Feeling any better?
BevJen, Hello!
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I am also a cryer. I’d cry at the opening of a Kmart! But I get awkward when people watch me become emotional about my cancer. There is nothing in the world that can be done about it, which makes me cry more. Emotions run so high when we are forced to scan and test constantly. I know we all hate everything about it
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Mel,
I just got back from Urgent Care, and guess who has the flu? Dr. said influenza A. So they gave me Terraflu, some cough meds, and he said I’m to stay home in bed for the next week. Like I feel like doing anything else...
My hair started to fall out in big clumps today too. Yes, I think it may be time for a good cry.
Our friends are leaving on Friday night to head back North. If it was anyone but them, I’m sure I would not have been able to do two weeks. But I must admit I am looking forward to my nice quiet house again
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BooBoo~Hugging you gently.... I am sorry about how you’re feeling and your hair. I’ve been through it. But, I know no words will make it all better. I am right beside you in spirit. You’re like me, being sick only compacts the cancer symptoms and impact it has on us.
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I so appreciate all your welcoming and sympathetic words. You are on to something Sondra. I appear to be coping so well, but have been stretched really far emotionally, so it doesn’t take much to reduce me to tears. It was the same when I had my first liver biopsy. I was coping ok until I got to the CT room and found it was not the doctor I was expecting, that my trusted onc had mentioned. I was tearful and wouldn’t continue until they let me talk to my onc on the phone. I usually appear to medical types as a smart, clear-thinking, analytical person, and I guess I am those things when it serves me, but I am actually very people-oriented and sensitive. Moomala, your story made me tear up. Again. Booboo, I know right? Those shots are like some kind of medieval torture. Micmel, thank you, I like my chair, especially the pillow.
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Booboo how awful to come down with the flu!!! I hope they prescribed Tamiflu! That will really help you. Yes i think a good cry is in order my friend. Hair falling out on top of being sick does not sound too great. I'm the kind of person that would just drag myself to the bathroom, shave it all off and drag myself back to bed.
My uncle stopped treatment for stage four renal cancer this week. He was diagnosed a year ago, just like me. He said he's had enough, the treatments are not really working, and he is too weak to walk. He fell and fractured his leg this weekend. The ortho had already put a rod in that leg so now the remaining bone is just broken. His back is fractured and he has to wear a brace all the time. I can totally understand how he is feeling. Having gone through a shit year with treatment failures, fractures, back pain, hip pain, pneumonia, low platelets, low potassium and now this lung thing, I have had my days of thinking 'ok you win mf'er". Booboo just get better from the flu for now. Being sick like that takes the stuffing out of you and I always get emotional and vulnerable when I'm sick.
At least you can stay home and recover in your own bed. We are supposed to call the cancer center if fever goes above 100.4 and then usually we are sent to ER which then results in a hospital stay. (shudder) Feel better fast!
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Is it a full moon or what? Work is blowing up with a ton of changes and then on here too many ladies are facing uncertainty or (added) illness or family drama. How is it only the middle of February?
Moomala - best wishes today if you are still waiting to scan. Ive got a box of little fondant cakes I can share amongst the pocket dwellers as we hang out with you.
Boo - oh man that sucks. At least you are able to be home, but feeling grotty is never fun. And added hair loss too? Geez..
Mel - feeling you with that sinus infection. They always make me feel like tearing off my face. I've been sinusy the last few days due to storm systems and having a few giant bawling sessions, and the pressure gets to be a lot and I cant sleep so then I am even MORE cranky and emotional.
Hugs to everyone else Tanja, Mae, Philly, DodgersGirl, Mara, BevJen, Rosie, Piggy, and anyone else I may have missed!
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Sorry to Shetland that I couldn't be there yesterday when you needed a virtual hug. Hugging you now, my friend. God bless you.
Wow Boo the flu plus dealing with everything else.
Moomala- Praying for you, my friend. That the lung thing is not primary lung cancer. My the Lord help you today.
I was just telling a friend that dropped by today of the uncertainties of MBC--when will I progress and what will it look like. Dear God, what we go thru. You all are so strong.
God help us.
Edited to say---Moomala, I see you last posted 3 hours ago. Well???? What is the thoracic surgeon saying?
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Moomala, I am staying in your pocket beyond the appointments you had. Cancer certainly is random. The most unhealthy habits don't always translate into the applicable diseases for sure. I never drank a lot, was a bit overweight but always was active and I got this stupid, most aggressive inflammatory cancer, grade 3 AND HER2 positive. Then it spread to my brain first. Yet other people with slower growing cancers have progressed sooner than me. Figure that one out. The world is random and upside down. I do think a lot of it is luck and of course how you respond to drugs BUT I definitely think luck plays a hand in it.
My BC is likely related to my father's colon cancer according to my MO since there is no recorded BC on either Mom or Dad's side. I have no doubt been very lucky in drug and radiation responses in both body and brain and feel grateful for being as strong as I am and able to do what I want to do, whether walking, cooking, housework etc. I know the day will come when my luck runs out, but even when depressed, I tell myself I have been lucky.
Mel, hope you get to feeling better soon, Mae I hope the food eating can begin soon and I hope things heal soon as well.
Anybody I missed, I hope things are going well.
FYI, I sat on my butt on the couch today and enjoyed myself. I was going to go for a couple of long walks, but suddenly remembered getting stress fractures in my feet when I overdid the walking in 2016. Yesterday was 30000 steps between one store and the grocery store. Though I am not sore, I have decided that some days, I need to take it easy. Maybe actually start riding the exercise bike and take rest days between such long walks. No good if I actually injured myself. Just did a little cooking and working on my little penny sites where I can make a few extra bucks.
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So many having a rough time now. Hugs Shetland Pony and Moomala, Boo, Mel, Mae. Feel for you all.
Great pic of the pjs Tanya!
I'm just enjoying having my daughter here from Canada, eating too much, drinking wine, not a lot really, but feeling 😴. Night al
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Booboo, I am so sorry about your hair falling out and the terrible flu you have. I hope that rest, a quiet house and meds have you feeling better soon. I don't blame you for crying. I also sympathize with the hair loss. It is never easy whether the first time, or however many times it may happen. Sometimes a good cry can release some of the pent up stress of the whole situation.
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I had the flu two years in a row. I got the shot this year. I got a sinus infection instead. One second I feel like it’s getting better, I get a headache and dizziness pressure in my sinus. It was worse but I hate the feeling. It’s like I can’t think straight and all I want to do is sleep. And so I pretty much have been. I have to do another ten day antibiotic. Messes my stomach up! Brutal.
SO sorry you got the flu! I know how rough that is. We are all having the winter blues. I believe. I was doing so well with not getting sick and then Bam!
Sondra~Tearing off my face sounds like a good idea when the sinus pain starts throbbing throbbing ! Yuck !
Moomala~I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. Geeze what’s up with the kidneys.? All Of a sudden ? I guess when you’re finished being beaten down and tortured, we decide to stop . Every pill I put into my mouth I think. Here goes another pill to do god knows whatever to my body with out any assurance that it will work. Unreal to me honestly...shit stew......that’s what it is!
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Candy~ hello to you!! Good to see you !
Mara ~ everyone needs a day to take it easy... 30k wow! You’re amazing. You go girl.
Minnie~Hello hello hello beautiful.... always good to see you.... another Original poster!!! 🥰🥰
My sister said my nieces appetite had improved. Not sure what she was eating but I hope it’s a good diet. Scared my sister when she saw her. Her body is twice the size. Fluid filled. It’s a worry for sure. One day at a time.
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Shetland~I hope you’re having a better day today my friend. Sending you a hug.
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Yahoo! Some good news to share! The thoracic surgeon showed us the PET scan and the lung tumors don't even light up! She said these are not looking like lung cancer to her and she's seen thousands of lung cancers. So no surgery, no biopsy and just go home. If the tumors grow she can remove them easily with a short recovery period but it's not worth taking me off treatment for several weeks. My bones like up like crazy on the PET scan but the lung tumors didn't at all. I look forward to talking this information over with m oncologist but for now....huzzah!!!!
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Moomala,
Such great news for you, and for us all! That is wonderful. It was a pain, I'm sure, to go and see the thoracic surgeon, but at least you had an expert in lung cancer look at your scan and make this determination. And how great that the lung tumors are not lighting up at all -- terrific news.
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Wow, busy in here ladies! Just had a scan through what I’ve missed. I definitely think we are on a (hopefully) near the end of the winter downer what with shots, scans, friends who are struggling more than us and bugs! Got a horrible cold myself.... checking temp, but seems fine. Just feeling VERYsorry for myself and holed up at home... way better than the hospital!
However, great news Moomala, Micmel makes me laugh and is her usual empathetic self along with many of us....Philly you made the best post for Shetland at a really crappy time for her.
Roll on longer days and a chance to get outside without a howling gale and sideways rain!
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Moomala, I am super happy about your good news. I know you needed some with everything else. Good for you.
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Woohoo !!!! Yeah!!!! to Moomala !!!! So happy for the good news.
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Moomala doing the happy dance for about 10 seconds before my legs get tired. Wow what a roller coaster. Get some good sleep and you deserve a nice dinner movie and dessert out after that scare.
Mara 30000 steps that’s amazing. Good to listen to your mind and body and take some days for cycling indoors.
Booboo flu and hair loss sounds like too much. But the faslodex shot isn’t as horrible if you have it administered by someone with experience. I think it was you who said you would never take it again. Mel gets them too they warm mine up so that the medicine isn’t thick. The needle is long. Mel do you think we’ve gotten used to it or has it become more bearable?
Minnie happy you’re enjoying your daughters visit. Amazing how warming the heart with love improves our health.
Waving hello to everyone.
Tanya
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Moomala, thank god! I read here with sinking heart, so many are having such a shitty time of it. It makes my heart scared. Scared for all of us. But Moomala, that is awesome news. Wahoo!
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SO happy to see this news - congrats Moomala, you really needed a win after a lot of stuff being thrown at you since December.
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Runor—. Had to chuckle when you wrote “shitty news". —- cause I am still in the hospital for diarrhea. Been a week now.
Moomala— great news! So very happy for you.
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So sad to hear so many of you ladies are sick or having issues with surgeries. I'm lucky as I have not had anything that puts me in the hospital.
Mel, sinus infections are no fun. I get those every now and then. The worse part to me is the sinus headache that comes with it which doesn't seem to go away.
Moomala, so happy to see you finally got some good news.
Dodgersgirl, I hope you can get out of the hospital soon.
and Mea, I hope you are feeling better and able to eat now.
I hope I didn't miss anyone. Enjoy your day ladies.
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Good Morning Ladies~. DH surprised me for Valentine’s Day by arriving a night earlier so I’m thrilled. We will just hang out all day together after errands and watch the ranch. Together. I also think he’s making something delicious for dinner. Well see. My mouth is annoying and hurting from Ibrance. One week on and one week off is quite interesting. Your body never has time to feel the full power of the intense side effects. I recommend it, if any of you ladies are having problems with three weeks on and one off. It really helps me
I am thinking about dodgers in the hospital. I am so sorry sweetheart. I hope you’re home soon.
Moomala~ sheer awesomeness that it’s not lung cancer. No words all smiles. And happiness for you! You deserve that break my friend. Yes you do. We all do!
waving to Simone! And Rosie! Legomaster , BooBoo! Feel better honey!
Mara Walking today my girl? Too. Cold here for that. Windy cold flurries!!!
Candy~ hi there thoughtful woman.Sandibeaches. Just saying hello Blueshine You too friend. Stillivin. You’re on my mind. Thanks for reaching out to me. I was so happy. How is pots ? Love you guys!
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Mel, yes I did actually walk. Did the longest walk on the same trip that I have ever done. I have done a lot of steps in one day, but that usually involves more than one walk. This walk was a challenge I set for myself. I decided to try walking 8 kms or 5 miles to get some milk and a couple of other groceries. The route I took is also very hilly. A lot of uphill walking both ways. For me that was a big challenge but I made it there, got what I needed and sat down with a chocolate bar before heading home. The walk home should have been harder due to probably at least 10 lbs of stuff in my knapsack but it was actually easier since I knew where to expect the hills. My legs definitely were feeling sore as I have not walked this far in one trip ever. I am taking lots of ibuprofen and just sitting on my butt. I don't walk fast but just kept telling myself "I got this, I can do this" in place of the usual I'm so tired. I just wanted to prove it to myself. I don't expect myself to do that every day or anything, but it is nice to know I can do it. BTW, it is 5 miles total roundtrip, not 5 miles to and from.
It was cold but I soon got very warm. I did wear fleece lined leggings and tights. Also had two wigs on as I view them like hats. Proud of myself for doing that. Gotta keep pushing myself to do more. I need to be capable for myself and not depend on other people. Now I need to eat, ravenously hungry. FYI, I bought myself several chocolate bars as treats for later.
I also thought about people in hospital and what they are dealing with and realized I am fortunate and lucky to not be dealing with anything as major as some of us here deal with. I feel like I owe it to everyone to put everything I can do since right now I am in pretty good health. Most of all, I owe it to myself.
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moomala, yay for good lungs!
Shetland, welcome back 🙂
So, I spent all of yesterday and this morning with a massive headache and vomiting over a dozen times, so off to MDA ER this morning. Two head CT's later and I'm being admitted due to a blood clot, not sure exactly where or what the plan is but definitely not how I planned to spend the night. I'll keep you all posted.
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oooh Mae! That sucks!!! Damn. What a night you've been through. I hope the vomiting and headache havestopped. I am so glad your body has given you VERY clear signals that something wasn't right. I am sending positive healing energy to help melt that dang blood clot away!!!
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Oh Mae, you have been dealt such harsh things going on. I am so sorry to hear you are in hospital. I am sending myself to your make believe pocket in your hospital gown to give you positive energy as well.
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