My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Moomala, what a relief to see those PET results and hear that the thoracic surgeon does not see lung cancer.
Karen, agreed that holing up at home is so much better than the hospital. I got stuck there five times in six months for stupid things. It was lonely and frustrating. DodgersGirl, I hope they spring you soon. There was a white board in my hospital rooms, and under “Plan for Today” I would always write “Escape” and under “Date” I would write “Day 3 of my captivity” (or whatever the number was).
Yikes! I just read illimae’s post. It’s so good you found out, so they can treat you. Maybe the clot-busting drug? Geez, you are really being put through the ringer.
I am in bed, sipping herbal tea and trying to eat an egg. The expected diarrhea hit this morning, and though the Imodium is working now, my stomach hurts and I have no appetite. I feel more like a cancer patient than ever. Grateful for simple things like a sunny window and a soft bed.
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Mae~Not what I wanted to log in and see. I’m so sorry my friend. That’s so not okay! I am Glad that they are on top Of it and don’t want anyone else in the hospitals!!!!!! Get the clot out of here !.... 😡 go away blood clot. Go away! Leave my friend alone.
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Mae I hope the treatment and observation aren’t too long. Definitely not a plan than anyone of us would make. Heal up we’re all on hospital gown duty.
Dodgers girl I hope your hospital stay is over right now so you can be home for the weekend.
Shetland I love your white board messages to yourself and others.
Tanya
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Great news Moomala! Mara, you are doing really well pushing yourself to walk all that way. Well done. Dodgersgirl, hope you get home soon, and Mae, so sorry to hear of this setback. Hope you are sorted out and back to normal real soon.
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Oh Shetland, I am hopping to your pocket too for some moral support. I am really sorry you are having trouble eating and the big D. That is the worst for sure. I went through some of that a couple of months ago and it surely is no fun, even if controlled by immodium. Would a nausea med help with the appetite at all or a digestive enzyme with a meal so as to maybe avoid some of the gastro issues? At least you are at home and more comfortable.
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Just logged on and read about Mae's latest health setback. God bless you tonight. As Mel said, Go away blood clot and leave Mae alone.
Shetland- So sorry you are feeling crummy. Glad you have a soft bed. Take care.
Bless my friends here that are going thru so much right now.
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Candy~I agree they have had enough for a long while. I’m checking in to see if there was an update. Thinking of you Mae my friend. 🌹🌹😘 love to you.
Remember you’re my OG Mae. I’m in your pocket. Ragging at the nurses who deserve it. Also, hope DH is hanging in there. Gotta be rough. I’m so thinking of you both. I’ll keeP checking Obviously she has better things to do then to worry about posting here. But she is truly loved.
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I am angry, hurt, and disappointed. Can I complain about how tired I am with people and their thoughtless statements? Do they not even know how hurtful they are? I wonder how inconvenient it will be for them If I don't die fast enough once I run out of resources. I am grateful for the help I do get but I wish some people in my life would just shut up about some things. I don't want to see/hear their opinions anymore. Can I move to my own world? It may not be real but meaness and judgement won't exist and I will only cry happy tears.
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I want to add that I am sorry for dropping this here. I know some here are really having a hard time with hosptilizations and scans. I am always here thinking about everyone who is struggling. I just don't say much.
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Illimae— hoping the hospital addresses your symptoms very quickly.
Jumping in a pocket on your hospital gown. Will be quiet though until you feel better.
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Thanks everyone, you’re a wonderful bunch 🙂
Dutchchris, feel free to drop anything here, always
If there’s a bright side to this hospital stay, it would be the valentines days special app of lobster bisque and desserts of chocolate covered strawberries and a chocolate mousse, I also managed to get down just over 1/2 a baked whitefish filet. It took a couple hours but it was great!
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chiris~We discuss everything. A lot of things happen Don’t be sorry we support everyone we can. People can just plain be dicks. That simple, family,friends you name it. I’m kicking someone’s shin for you about it now! Hugging you our friend. There are no rules. We love our peeps. But care about everyone. Welcome back btw. Hugs to you and screw whoever made you feel this way!
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Mae, I am happy to hear you were able to eat, even if very slowly. That is progress.
dutchris, I agree with Mel, we do have to get out our problems and issues so here is a good place to do it. Everyone is always supportive.
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Yes, that is progress, mae!
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Illimae - you have to be kidding about the MDA Valentine's dinner. Wow. Glad you got some whitefish down. Something for DH to eat of the leftovers. Hope they figure everything out quickly. In your pocket girl.
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Mae, I am so sorry to hear this. But did I read you correctly? They served lobster bisque in the hospital? Not like any hospital I've ever been in!
Shetland and Dodgers, the storms you are weathering, good grief! Not fun, not fair and I hope some universal dice tosser rolls favour for all of you.
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Mae, your hospital beats my hospital On food hands down. Gosh darn it, a damn blood clot, if you end up on Eliquis as a blood thinner I hope it’s as easy on you as it has been on me.
Happy for you Moomla. The stress of what if must have been so dang hard.
Praying for friends in hospital and those home with sicknesses.
I’m experiencing some of the worst fatigue that I’ve had since dx. A bit more depression too. Maybe they’re related. turning 46 next week. Grateful to continue getting older
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Illimae— Valentines specials ... MDA Wow
My local hospital didn’t offer anything special for Valentines Day. So dinner was meatloaf again. I found 2 meals that I liked so I ordered those over and over.
Good news is that I am home! Slept in my bed last night. Big D is lessening each day. Woot woot
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DodgerGirl, Big congrats on getting home!! So happy the D is lessening.
Mae, Sounds like a positive turn that you could enjoy some fish. Yay!
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Mae,
Sending prayers of love and strength your way. Hope you get out of there soon.
Moomala,
So glad to hear your news. Have been thinking about how you could use a break.
Well, after three days of no food and lots of nausea (can you believe Tamiflu's side effects are nausea and vomiting?), I think I am starting to feel a bit better. This flu is nasty. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Hoping things are starting to turn around. I am going to talk to my MO about taking a break from everything with the goal of building my immune system so I won't pickup every illness that I come in contact with. I really do think that Abraxane is working for me because my pain is much less then it was. But the constant illnesses are taking its toll on me.
I am officially bald, even more than I was with Taxol, but I can handle that. Hair grows back. My friend shaved the rest off so I wouldn't have to deal with the shedding, and I am so glad.
Our friends left last night, and for the most part, it was fine. But I think two weeks is going to be a thing of the past. One week is fine...two, too much.
Thank you to all of you for your well wishes. I don't know what I'd ever do without my MBC friends.
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WTH 'mae You've had enough complications already:-( it's really crappy but I guess the bright side is that you have good medical care available. Your dinner sounded great for a hospital. Maybe you can get some more lobster bisque again today.
DG-glad you're home and hope every day is a little less shitty :-)Jen- I do think that fatigue and depression are intertwined. I have been trying hard to see the positive things in things and change my normally pessimistic and sarcastic attitude. It's not easy as I tend to be a realist and very frank about most things. Exercise does does help. Not as easy in the winter in Michigan, but even a mile walk outside with my coworkers at lunch makes a difference.
Prayers for all. Let this day be one of healing and steps forward for all.
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Jen, I was dealing with a lot of fatigue myself until my brain switched on to exercise being my solutions. I do walk outside, even in the cold. View it as a good workout and helps me sleep. The hills also help a lot too, though I don't try a lot of hills every day. I also have cleats if it is icy as well. Don't want to wipe out, that's for sure.
I am surprised my 8 km walk did not make my legs particularly sore today. Have not taken advil today, just took a few yesterday. Today, am going to walk up to get a burger at the joint I like for my supper. Can just heat it in the microwave for later. Cheaper than delivery is by about 10 dollars and just as good. Takes about an hour and that is more than good enough for me. It helps my fatigue and depressive symptoms which can still pop out if I allow them and I find the fresh air is nicer than just doing the treadmill.
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Well hello Micmel! You are one amazing and caring woman.
I occasionally drop in as that is where I can find my 2016 Stage IV peeps.
Mae, I had no idea of your recent troubles. Thank goodness your brain clot was found, but sad you were so sick from the latest procedure. One note on your fantastic Valentine's Meal, I would have first chowed down on the chocolate strawberries and asked for seconds or anyone else's who didn't want theirs.. call it chocolate greed.
What a nice supportive group and an honor to be mentioned.
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Oh man DodgersGirl how nice that must be to sleep in your own bed again! And food from your own kitchen and your own grocery store. Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! And not to mention your own bathroom! How many potassium chloride pills are you taking a day. I'm taking one a day now and my potassium is holding around 4.0 Hurray! If you stomach can handle it, low-sodium V8 juice seems to have the best potassium levels. Coconut water is really good for electrolyte replacement too.
Jen I'm having fatigue and depression too. My therapist thinks the depression is from chronic pain. She's probably right to some degree but when I think back over the last year, I have really been through a lot of health problems and family problems and on 125 Ibrance for five months, then Afinitor for that last four months. My back hurts a lot these days and the aches from aromasin are starting to get to me starting about 3-4 pm in the afternoon. But mostly it's my back. I am having trouble wit exercising and even with doing my job because of having to sit upright. I started taking Lexapro last week at a small dose (5mg) and I will be starting the medical marijuana again today. The MM did help me with the aches of Aromasin and somewhat with my back. I'm just not feeling motivated to try to do much fearing that my back will take me down. I'm hanging out in my chair with a heating pad on my back a LOT more than I'm happy with. I'm hoping Lexapro kicks in and motivates me to get off my butt.
Philly how are you feeling? I looked up the protonix and see that it is for stomach acid. I took the 14 days of daily Prilosec recently and it did work to help with the GERD and nausea I was having at the beginning of treatment with Afinitor. A friend stopped over today and told me her symptoms of gastritis were more lower GI and the gastritis was discovered at her colonoscopy. She'd been taking Naproxen for a year. Her symptoms sounded a lot like mine. Just lower GI pain and cramping. Between the last three months of D and 1 month of nightly Advil I just took I guess I am not surprised.
Mae I'm really happy to hear that you ate something! MD Anderson is in Houston right? I grew up in Houston and went to UH for a few years before moving to NY.
DutchIris I'm all for creating a new world where people have to pass a filter test before they can live there. People say the craziest things. I've mentioned here before that one of our high school friends told DH she is a great matchmaker - RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Screw her. I'll never speak to her again.
Mara a burger sounds so good right now! I think we are having takeout veggie burrito this evening. Or Chinese. Whatever DH feels like driving out to pick up.
We live in a tiny village with just a few restaurants that don't generally do takeout. I have this next week off. A few doc appointments but also a few books to read and some music to play and hopefully start re-setting my day so Im not in this chair all day. Was thinking this morning that I got a stable scan last month, the lung tumor controversy is behind me. I don't have scans again until April. Could it be??? A little time to breathe???
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Moomala i'd like to punch match maker Mary right in her mouth and then gut punch her. Good job never speaking to her again what an insensitive barbarian.
Tanya
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Well, I am feeling foolish and embarrassed and really sore. I was out walking, not particularly fast and I wound up stumbling over a sidewalk crack. I landed on both knees. I had to call DB and SIL to come help. Then I fainted dead away into the snowbank. I was not out for long and did not hit my head thankfully, nor does it feel like I broke bones but it really shakes my confidence level in walking outside. There was not any ice or anything and I am just embarrassed. Luckily, people in the neighbourhood came and waited with for my brother and helped me sit up. My knees are super sore and just icing off and on. Sitting here crying self pity tears and I hate it. I should be tougher than this. Does not make DB and SIL confident in me either. The pain really sucks to now that the shock is wearing off. Guess I should count my blessings that nothing is broken except my confidence level. I am still very sad about this though and going to cry for a while
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Oh Mara, so sorry about the fall! You were doing so well with your long walks. Go ahead and cry and be just a little embarrassed for now, but know that many of us have had events like this. I'm pretty clumsy in general and have broken my wrist 3 times, once as an adult while at work. I'm betting your DB and SIL will encourage you to keep on walking outside once your knees feel better. I would too. I hope your knees are not hurting too much. 💕
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Moomala, Yay for the good news on your lung spot and that you have some off now. 😊. Both are due for you.
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Oh! Mara~I am sooo sorry to hear you have fallen. Don’t let it get you down. I’ve fallen many times in public. My DH kind of expects it at this point. Just start back slowly, when you’re feeling healed. Those knee knocks hurttttttt! I remember glad your head is ok. Good grief. I’m just thankful you weren’t hurt. More seriously, as you mentioned your head. Rest up woman. You are stronger than you think. Even athletes fall. Top athletes! So give yourself a break. Hugs to you,
waving to Rosie! Moomala, Jen,0 -
Hey everyone, I cried some of it out. Looking at positives, I can walk without pain, have taken ibuprofen and will not allow this to stop me. The worst part was the fainting. I was lucky that I managed to phone my brother before passing out. Must have had a drop in blood pressure from the fall. I will just have to practice lifting the right leg more when I step and make sure to pay double attention to the cracks in the sidewalk. It has been years since I have fallen like that, but the fainting scared me the most.
On the way back to my place after being picked up by DB and SIL, I did ask him to take me to the burger joint where I was headed for lunch. My knees are OK, no pain walking on them, my head is OK, did not hit my head. The worst part is the scrapes, don't think there will be swelling. I am going to keep moving around the apartment and avoid the stiffness. Still going to walk, maybe a little slower when I am outside and also use my step bench to increase right leg strength. There are also very nice people in the neighbourhood as well who came to check on me as well. I also have to check youtube to check how to get myself up after banging my knees.
Thanks Mel, it certainly can shake confidence but I will not let it stop me. SIL wants me to take shorter walks. I don't feel like it was a weak or tired leg but simply catching the right foot in the spaces in the sidewalk. Did not lift foot enough and down I went. Just have to be more careful next time.
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