My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
-
tangandchris: welcome to Mel's living room. I should pop in more frequently. It is a great place to be. We are all shipmates together in what I often call "the same leaky, rudderless boat" When I was diagnosed de novo with MBC I felt like I was going to jump out of my skin. I could not settle down to do anything. I figured I would be dead within the next few months. It does get better. There are times when I get anxious and wonder about my life, or what may be left of it. Some days it barely crosses my mind and if it does I can put it in a box on a shelf. It does get better with time. I sometimes think de novo is better than a MBC after you have had treatment and think it is all behind you. That must be a terrible shock.
As for Covid.........*&^%)_&% . I really want friends to visit, to visit my bestie in Seattle who is having a meltdown over what is happening to the USA. I am lucky to live one block off what is essentially a high street. It has all the shops one needs to live a good life, produce shops, delis, butchers, fish monger, bakeries, drug stores even hair dressers and great restaurants. The last two are fond memories at the moment. I am sick of arrows on store floors but it is all for the good. And there are other places in the neighbourhood for walking on park trails. So that is my rant. As for the laundry comments. My DH has pretty much always done the laundry for the past several years. The laundry is down in the basement and that is where he practices trumpet so he does the two together. I am lucky. I wish he could take an interest in cooking !!
jaycee49; I am fine with snarky. You are so right about not letting cancer steal your life. I do try to live that way, everyday.
0 -
Jaycee, welcome back friend. We do have big ol’ pockets full of crumbs from all the snacks we bring, lol.
As far as Xeloda is concerned, when I started my new combo, which includes X, my MO took me off tamoxifen. As I understand it, it’s because X is an oral chemo that works like most IV ones and suppresses estrogen already, making hormone specific meds unnecessary.
Heading out for a quick walk, I’ve been in workout clothes for hours watching TV, so I’m making myself get off my ass now 😆
0 -
Jaycee~Don’t mind the honesty! Or frankness. Have you met Mae? Lol
0 -
Jaycee,
Snarky is okay. I post here from time to time too, and read most of the time. I appreciate your posts.
I get your question about anti-estrogen drugs. I start on keytruda on Tuesday, and the same thing occurred to me -- I've been on anti-estrogen therapy since 2004. Now we don't worry about it? The NP was telling me about the SEs of keytruda and then this occurred to me -- so I said: are we doing any anti estrogen therapy? She thought for a minute, said "I'll check" and then a few minutes later said -- "no, I don't think we are going to do that." This may be one of the unanswered mysteries of the universe.
Hope you continue to post.
0 -
Jaycee- I appreciate your "snarky". You tell it like it is. Not a bad thing.
I am still on first line therapy-- Ibrance/ Letrozole/ Lupron, but I have wondered about the hormone therapy part of it. Change to something else and stop the hormonals?! And when do we stop the Lupron? I was premenopausal, at the age of 47 when diagnosed. Now age 50. When do I know I am post menopausal and can just go to an AI (not the Lupron shot each month)? Though, I do not want to stop the hormonal therapy and restart my periods. I do not want that back !!!!
Like the laundry thoughts--- lots of pocket duty so need clean pockets. Hahaha. I talk laundry because my Covid isolation, live alone, existence means I don't do much but laundry and housecleaning. Piddle around with my time.
0 -
Jaycee - "snarky, sarcastic, and cynical" This is a problem? If it's with humor, it's right up my alley. Lol
0 -
TangandChris - I am sure that we all shared some similar emotions and also had some different emotions when we got the MBC diagnosis. I think Micmel's original post certainly is a normal feeling many of us experience. I had been cancer free since 2010 when I was IIB. My MBC diagnoses was an over 7 cm tumor on my collarbone that was diagnosed September 2019. After undergoing chemo and radiation and taking Ibrance, XGEVA, and Faslodex, my first scan following all of that in July 2020 showed that I am NEAD. I am in a better place mentally now then in the beginning. Some women find that they need anti-depressents to deal with the situation. After a little time with the diagnosis, I think most of the time I do pretty well and have not needed anti-depressents. I have lost some mobility due to both bouts with cancer and that gets me down some but I try to do my best and hope to improve on my situation and know that others have it worse. whether it is cancer or some other illness or disability. Luckily, I have a DH who is very supportive but I do feel bad that I don't pull my own weight.
Emac - Maybe you could brighten up one of your rooms with a bright wall color or more lighting in your house to help with the gloomy days up in Oregon.
Mae - Giving you good vibes that your husband's MRI turns up normal next week.
Jaycee - I just see you as a realist. By the way, I see you are in New Mexico, I have to say for those that don't know but Hatch, New Mexico chilies are the BEST in the world! I live in the Oklahoma Panhandle and when those green chilies come in to our local Kroger, they roast them and the smell is so awesome.
Everyone - Funny that laundry seems to be coming up a lot today. I finally had the energy to get some of ours done. I always wash bedding, towels and whites on Sundays and it feels like a big accomplishment to get the bed made so I know if I run out of energy at least I have a clean bed to go to. I hope everyone has a good rest of the weekend!
0 -
Candy,
At some point, you could probably ask your MO about testing your hormone levels, but having been on anti-estrogen therapy, I don't know how those numbers would shake out. I was 51 when first diagnosed with BC. Wonderful chemotherapy threw me into chemopause, and it was NOT a fun thing at all. So maybe stay on lupron and be grateful that it works.
Hope everyone is doing okay.
0 -
Hey, Jaycee, funny you mentioned the anti hormonals, my oncologist went on maternity leave and while she was away I had progression, so the onc standing in for her switched me to xeloda on its own, when she came back we were going through what had been happening while she was away, saw that there was no AI prescribed with the xeloda, had a few choice words and put me on exemestane as well, my next scan showed some mets almost gone and others smaller, even now, I'm only on exemestane while I wait to start navelbine. So now from what I can gather she is the exception rather than the norm. Either way, I'm so glad she's young and has already had her family, at least I know she won't retire on me anytime soon, good oncologists are so hard to find.
Not much happening today, I might head off for a swim and walk on the sand before it gets too hot.
0 -
Laying down to sleep with mr Valium. Hoping he can pull me into sleeping solidly. I’d like that a lot. I have this pain in my shoulder. Don’t go away. Especially at night so weird. Our bodies are weird. All we endure. I also did a lot of laundry today. So I guess it’s all done for now. I am looking forward to some goodies in the mail this week. That’s my big week planned. Yahoo. Lol.
Karen~ thinking of you. BooBoo~ ♥️
0 -
sleep well, sweeet dreams
0 -
Dh is kinda making me crazy with Covid paranoia. We both had it right after my MBX dx. He had it much worse than I did and it really scared him.
Well he is super paranoid about us getting exposed again. Izzy is doing online school now, I barely leave to occasionally venture to pick up meds. Now he's having fits over me going to my mother's to help her with housework.
He's never been this type to worry so it has really caught me off guard. If I'm honest I'm irritated by it. But I also understand his worry.
I'm soooooo sick ok covid.
0 -
Tang~ My DH is especially the same way about anywhere I go. He’s afraid for me to get it. It is very frustrating when you’re feeling like. A child. Wash your hands. Etc etc. I think I know to wash my hands. I’ve always known to wash my hands. You’re sweet to help your mother. Just sanitize on your way!!!
0 -
welcome back elderberry! And cowgirl. Molliefish.
0 -
Morning all.
I got a call early this morning from my friend. Her DH passed at 3:30am. She was alone with him. The hospice hospital bed was set up in the Living Room and she was spending her time on the couch next to him. She said when he passed, she talked with him until 4a and then made the calls to family and the hospice nurse.
That is the way I want it for me. In my house with family/friends around me. Talking and singing me into Heaven. But...that is what I want, might not be what I get. More like dumped in a Nursing Home to die alone, since family doesn't want to take the responsibility to care for me.
Of course, we do not choose how we go. Maybe the cancer won't get me, but Covid--in a hospital bed. Or by a car accident- in the ER bed. But I think Hospice at home is nice, if you have that as an option.
Ok, I need to get out of this funk now.
0 -
Candy~I’ve been in a funk also. My DH arrived back from a business trip with some more wonderful fabric for me, so it jump started my mask making again which helps my mind. The busier I am the less time I have to think about cancer. I hate it more than words. I’m feeling ya. Days run into one another. Nights become long. Valium helped a little. I still woke up. Little trouble falling asleep after.
0 -
Candy, I'm so sorry for your friend. What a shock for her to lose him so quickly. I'm sorry for you as well, as I know you wanted to be there for her.
Micmel, I'm glad you got some new fabric. I'm sorry you still didn't get the sleep you need.
Hugs to you both.
0 -
I am so sorry about your friend's husband. I am sorry you are feeling low as well.
Mel, I am happy you have more fabric. Busy time definitely helps the mind. I need more burgers so I will walk.
I am staying busy today. Don't want to think of my Mom as she died two years ago today. I refuse to feel sad, she was better off when she passed, no longer suffering or worrying about me. She is at peace and I am happy about that.
0 -
Thinking of those with scans, appointments, treatments this week.
Mae's DH and his MRI, Karen and her hospitalization to get her lung drained, Snow-drop and Rosie and SeeQ with appointments, and anyone else I may have missed.
I hope this week is a good one for us all. I do not have any appointments scheduled so, so far, a quiet week planned. You are all in my thoughts.
0 -
we could all use a good week. Yes we could. reporting for pocket duty tomorrow bright and early.
0 -
Okay, folks, I just have to vent here.
I am starting keytruda as a single agent drug this coming Tuesday. I've been told that I might have nausea after. On Friday, when I was going over the side effects with the NP at my cancer center, I asked for anti-nausea medication in case I get nausea. Yup, sending it in electronically right now.
Just went to CVS and nope, no prescription there. The pharmacist was nice enough to send a reminder through when I explained the situation (and, by the way, she was overly excited that I was going on keytruda.) I also sent messages through the patient portal to both my MO and the NP asking what the deal is.
I sure hope I get that damn prescription on Monday. I will be angrier than a wet hen if it's not there, especially if I get nausea on Tuesday.
And folks, could use pocket duty on Tuesday. I'm a little bit nervous about this.
0 -
BevJen~ we will be there for pocket duty for sure. Hugging you sweet woman..
0 -
We got you bevjen. Jumping in pockets!
0 -
Pocket duty for you, BevJen. I would be upset too. I’m sorry.
0 -
Bev, my cancer center has a 24 hour/7 day phone number where someone always answers or at least takes a message. Then you get a callback pretty quickly. If you have that, I would not wait until tomorrow. Push them today. You have a lot of trust in these people which I would not. I am nervous about your Keytruda, too. My weeny self just switched from letrozole to Faslodex.
0 -
BevJen,
In your pocket on Tuesday. Bringing salted caramels. Hope all goes well. I’m starting Abraxane again on Wednesday. Not ideal, but I can handle it.
Take care and let us know how it goes. We care.
0 -
BevJen, I’m in for pocket duty. I understand your irritation on the meds not going through. We’ll be cheering you on from your pocket!
Candy, I’m sorry about you feeling down today. Hugs. That’s so great that you keep track of all of our medical happenings. I’m curious what my MO will say about my vague mri report.
Jaycee, nice to see you here. I’m good with snark too.
Karen, in your pocket too. I’m sure you’re ready to get your lungs fixed up. Cheering you on as that fluid is drained!
Hello to all 😊
0 -
I've been away for sometime, and so much to catch up on. I can't address all that's happened, but want to express my condolences to you Candy and your friend. I'm so sorry you weren't able to be with her.
Karen, in your pocket for Monday's procedure.
BevJen, in your pocket Tuesday. I get your worry for starting Keytruda.
Jaycee, nice to see you here.
Whoot, whoot for all those with good news and big virtual (((hugs))) for those needing one, especially you, Mel.
0 -
Karen, in your pocket for Monday, BevJen in your pocket for Tuesday hoping for few SE.
I had posted earlier but deleted it. Thought I was going to get away without tears about my Mom passing two years ago today. I spent most of the day crying my heart out and was dismayed by it. Guess I should never assume stuff like that won't happen. I also was sad not hearing from DB until this evening. He asked how my week was which was good. He did not notice I said good until today and did not ask. Really had no one to talk to. I was not going to bring up Mom to make him sad, just wish he would have known how I was feeling.
0 -
Mara51506– gentle hugs regarding the loss of your mom 2 years ago today.
I am facing similar situation. I lost my mom 1/20/19 which is later this week. Already feeling the cold waves as the anniversary nears
I don’t have any advice for you but know that I am in your pocket and sharing in your loss
0
