My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
-
Mel, I can empathize with that. It is bothersome when a person thinks they know more about everything. I am much better at not constantly correcting people when it happens if it is someone I love. If it is a total stranger or acquaintance, better beiieve I speak up. If I care about the person, I can let it slide if they love me.
Edited to add for a little levity for those of us old enough to remember this.....
I give you the name of the next variant, Lambada, the forbidden variant
0 -
Mel- you have such a way with words. I love it! Also I could just picture the look on those women faces in the store.
Mara- if people look at you just say "you should see the other guy!"
0 -
0 -
LivingIVlife - maybe you should go outside and scream. It might do you some good. Besides, the wildlife won't call the police on you. Do whatever you need to do to deal.
Mel - Hugs to you. I have thought the exact same thing about grandchildren. It's really hard to listen to other people's complaints! I hope you're able to find a good therapist to have someone besides your family to talk to and just get it all out. It's almost impossible to find one here too. I agree, everyone is going crazy.
In my depression, I cried over losing all my family and friends and their future that I would never see. It's weird. I had never thought about it from the dying person's point of view. We not only have to deal with our own mortality but it's like we have to deal with the death of every person we know or might have known too. Yes, our family and friends have to deal with going on without us but they are only grieving one person.
0 -
We all go through and need to process feelings of loss of parts of our lives, family and friends due to cancer. I do think crying is therapeutic if it actually does lift pain and stress off you.
0 -
Good point Kris. Very good point. Never thought I’d it that way. Maybe. That’s why I’m over come with grief. Would explain the depression and sadness. I do sometimes even still say why me? It’s a lot to process , for our side. All the relationship in your life.
0 -
Was there something in the MBC water globally this week or what? This week was one of the toughest Ive had since diagnosis - felt like crap Monday and Tuesday, too many hospital checkups to attend, was so fatigued and hurting but couldn't really sleep or get comfortable. Lot of crying, lot of thinking and a lot of feeling down and over this crap. But whatever made me feel awful seemed to pass by Friday, and today I was feeling quite a bit better physically and mentally.
I realised that while I may have a lot of "grit" and "resilience" I only have enough to apply it to one thing, and thats gotta be saved for cancer. The last few months its been sprinkled between cancer and work and managing the mental stress of the general pandemic background noise (you wouldn't believe the media pressure here right now, its out of control!) and no wonder I feel so mentally drained. Cancer will never refill my "bucket", but I need to go find meaningful employment that will help with that side of things. I mean the pandemic won't either, but I suspect once we get through this winter that will start to fade into the distance with another year.
Slowly getting strength and energy back, although anyone with constipation is welcome to my short course of amoxicillan!
0 -
Sondra- Maybe it was something in the water. Although this week my showers were very cold and then burning hot. Our hot water heater was all screwed up and finally fixed yesterday.
I did not scream outside and the tears that were on the verge of exploding suddenly went back inside of all the emotions I'm feeling. I wish I could have a good cry and release this shit for now. I'm hoping I can lift myself up for SS tomorrow. He is the one my heart breaks for.
0 -
Today’s mountain life sighting was a huge group of turkeys!
0 -
Mae- the turkeys are making sure they're not on the plate for Christmas dinner
0 -
I love wildlife and being in nature. It's so refreshing.
0 -
I love the wildlife photos Mae, they are great.
I did absolutely love Spiderman No Way Home and loved the energy of the crowd with me. It was the last time I will be around a crowd like that. Restrictions are put in place tomorrow for Ontario, 50 per cent capacity for stores and restaurants, everywhere. Eating at restaurants but no eating anywhere else like movie theatres and other places, not even drinking. I am actually tired but feeling good for a change, arm was more sore but still survivable and am going to bed shortly.
I did almost trip and fall when stepping up a curb but caught myself, this was at the movie theatre. My fault, did not lift my leg enough, just need to watch what I am doing better. Now I go back to staying home except for essentials like groceries.
0 -
this group of amazing people !!!0 -
Mara- so glad you got out and enjoyed the movie! You would be tired. Watch out for those darn curbs!
0 -
thanks for the visit mods. Right back at ya
0 -
Well, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back, arm killing me today. Will hit it painkillers and stretching. May have been due to the movies yesterday, not sure. My elbow brace I got Thursday was mislabelled on Amazon, looks like a knee brace to me. I have a proper elbow sleeve coming today, will see if that makes a difference. Meantime, gonna walk on the treadmill after laundry done and see if I feel better after that. Don't want to walk outside today unless I decide to add cleats to my sneakers. Was slippy in places yesterday. The scab fell off a lot of my face yesterday so the pink skin is tender. Put a thin layer of Vaseline for relieve, cheek very painful to the touch still. Obviously my fall was a lot more serious than I gave credit for. Feeling depressive today but will try to keep busy to combat that.
0 -
Morning all. Reading along.
Last night I had a dream that made me feel sad upon waking. I dreamed I was shopping in a store I used to go to. This was 12-15 years ago. The store is not even there anymore-- building being used for something else now. In my dream I was going down the aisles and shopping. I remember that store-- the aisles, the different departments of goods. That was before the cancer. Now, I am different. I do not have the finances to shop now, but for essentials. And with Covid.... cannot go browsing like that. Also, I feel less healthy-- walk with a cane, get short winded easily, tire easily, so would not enjoy even if no Covid disease. I guess I just miss the old way things were. Memories are good. I am glad I have them. But they can be sad too.
Pocket Duty list for this week Dec 20. Let me know if you have something.
0 -
I get very melancholy around this year. I masked up and went into the store. Dollar store….. and cvs. That's about it. I know I miss the gym. I was a gym person 5days a week. I was strong. Now I'm weak. So I understand some feelings.
0 -
Yeah Mel. I too feel weak. I just wish I could accept things better. Not like the cancer, but accept where I am now. I want peace and acceptance of how things are now. But I just have regrets and miss my old life.
0 -
Still depressed, trying to stop playing a conversation I had with a friend yesterday, the one who is also my check in call. I was so excited after having seen the movie, she put a pin in my balloon. I had told her that I would not go to a movie if I was not allowed eat or drink previously. I did not tell her I bought a ticket yesterday to have popcorn and drink along with the movie. She told me I was a bad person for not going with the friend who is travelling now later and that I always change my mind on things.
She is very cranky, always tells me she barfed when eating things. First it was because she ate too much, then she eats cheetos and barfs etc. I really don't need to hear about her digestive issues. I have told her time and again that if she would just take a digestive enzyme, that would happen far less and allow her to enjoy food again. Worked for me. Guess my feeling is that if you don't want to hear a possible fix, don't tell me you are sick. I think we may need to go back to more of a wellness check call. I don't like being barked at and it is not my fault she is cranky. Not ready to find another yet but considering things.
0 -
Good morning! We got a dusting of snow last night at the higher elevations and I love it! One day each year, my mom would drive me and some friends up to big bear (common ski location in Southern California) to play and tube down hills and I love that fluffy and crunchy sound when walking on it. Happy dance for me today. Now it’s hot coffee with chocolate caramel creamer, just a little thing but it delivers joy.
0 -
Mae, I love how you find joy in ordinary things, like the wild creatures that visit, crunchy snow and coffee with caramel chocolate creamer, which sounds delicious! You've inspired me to make that my resolution for 2022.
0 -
mara, I'm sorry you are hearing that conversation over again in your head. I don't like it when I do that, but it's hard to stop it.
Mae, how beautiful. I think we have snow in our local mountains. My DH is planning to go skiing, probably in January. I'll stay home and sit by the fireplace. "Cold" for us in San Diego is when it gets down to 60 degrees. Our old house doesn't have heat, except for the fireplace and a couple of space heaters. Yesterday morning, my bathroom was 51 degrees. I turned on the space heater and closed the door until it warmed up.
0 -
Sunshine, I grew up in Huntington Beach before moving to Houston, so anything below 70 is chilly for me too but I love the cold and snow in small doses.
Mocogram, you should see me when I find a dollar in my pocket or a piece of candy in a bag I thought was empty, pure bliss.
0 -
Mara - you are NOT a bad person for going to the movie by yourself. You enjoyed the popcorn and movie, right? So who cares what she thinks. It was for you and you have every reason to enjoy yourself however you want.
illimae - the snow is pretty. I enjoy it in small doses too...preferably from indoors by a fire with hot cocoa!
Earlier this year when I felt horrible and wasn't very mobile, my brother would send me pictures almost daily of flowers, a lake, or wildlife wherever he was. Somehow it helped me. Maybe because I could imagine being there myself and lived vicariously through him.
0 -
For those of you who are ER-/PR-, HER2+ and de novo, there's a new thread you might want to join if there's a need to compare similar treatments. It doesn't seem like there are very many of us. There's a thread for ER-,PR-,Her2+ but it appears most of the people there are early stage and treated a little differently.
Topic: ER-, PR-, Her2+ Stage IV
0 -
Runor - Thank you so much for the instructions! I will definitely try this after Christmas and let you know how it goes. I’m really looking forward to it!
Mara - I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better and more mobile. That movie was super fantastic! My DH and I saw it yesterday as well and were thoroughly impressed. Don’t worry about what that other woman said. You were giving yourself a gift of happiness and she shouldn’t be butting in on that.
Mae how beautiful! I always love a bit of snow but I hate the way drivers in San Antonio deal with any sort of precipitation.
The DH and I had a great day yesterday finishing our Christmas shopping, going to the movies, and watching Harry Potter. Today was grocery shopping and we’ll wrap presents later
0 -
Kris 2000 I love that your brother sent those inspiring photos. So Kind
Mae I lived in San Bernardino for a few years and being from NY I would go to lake arrowhead and big bear in the winter.
mara I'm glad you enjoyed your popcorn and movie 🍿. We all take chances to do the things we want even if it's going to a dr or drug store.Caught a cold between dr appt and drug store. I think it was the guy in front of me -no mask and a hand towel over his shoulder which he blew his nose on. Just on the couch with zinc vit c go ever tea honey 🍯
tanya0 -
well ladies it happened, my son found a place and he is moving out of the mamma cubs house. I am conflicted inside. Thrilled for him. But my last is leaving the nest. It was taking so long. There are so many people trying to find places. Young people . He and 3 other friends are renting a townhouse. Three bedroom. I'm excited for his new found independence! And things are so damn expensive. 1800 a month.
0 -
Tanya, so sorry you are dealing with a cold, may the zinc and vit c kick it to the curb quickly for you.
0
