Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Prayer helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us.  It is almost impossible to deal with a problem while it remains vague and nebulous.  Praying, in a way, is very much like writing our problems down on paper.  If we ask help for a problem--even from God--we must put it into words.  Dale Carnegie

Welcome Jess.

Jackie, I too love the travel posts by members of this thread.  Although I am happily rooted at home these days, I still enjoy hearing about adventures small and large which is probably why I also enjoy House Hunters International.

Oh see how sweet Jackie welcomed Jess, we can always count on Jackie for all good stuff.

Now I have to address the 2 lunatics here--it must be contagious first of all if I had recon that pic. would be of me actually not Sandra, u can see she's a beauty and Chevy is not. Chevy we all know who that is cuz we were around for all of her turbulant life  and the glamor of it. So u could post that on another thread and maybe get away with it but not here u silly goose.

Thanks to Jackie and Sandra for getting me to the book lover's thread.  You are so right, cammi...It didn't take me long to get perked up and headed toward that thread.  Once I found it, I did realize that I had been there a long time ago and can't remember why I never kept posting because there's nothing I like better than a good book.  I wrote down a few suggestions and will post on it when I have my list of "good reads" beside me and can suggest some good books for others, too.  And cammi...I really did get my load of wash done, which was the sum total of work accomplished yesterday.  :-)  Sometimes we just have days like that!

Jackie, that is an unusual Carnegie quote but I really like it!

Hi Jess...I don't think I've ever welcomed you before so welcome to our thread.  Come back often and visit!

It is a BEAUTIFUL day here today.  I went to my Silver Sneakers class and exercised and now I think I'll head to the yard and do some yard work.  That is always so satisfying to me and I need to uncover my iris and clean off a few of my flower beds.  

Oh chevy.....your new photo is very flattering!  I need to know you "wrinkles" secret!  :-)  

Rita

Well 67 for me.  But I told my grandson to tell people who ask about me "I am feeling younger every day."  I'm getting ready for summer.  Ordered a swim suit, swim shoes and an outdoor grill.  Attached is a picture of me in my work clothes. Oops, sorry we are sideways.  This is Elizabeth that turned four today with the birthday cake I brought to the party. No need to worry about a shapely figure in this dress.

Ritajean, I think I will go in the yard too.  On the news yesterday, listeners were warned that the rattlesnakes are out ... I hope they are not out in my yard.  

Mimi, you look wonderfully happy in your clown costume.  You must bring so much happiness and joy to everyone.

Jess, I am 70.  I did not have chemo.  Radiation went well although I was fatigued the last couple of weeks and for several weeks after I finished.

Jackie, does the woman you were talking about live in her own home?  Do you take care of other people too?

Hi Jess, I think each one of us has a different reaction and story even thos we might be the same age, it's our bodies that re different, but u must have really gone thru a lot and u said u'r feeling OK? I know I was fine the first couple of weeks then I was exhausted all the time for a while after too,  Wow u'r quite a woman. So even if we're not the same age it' still good to talk about it and see how other women are. So please come back and tell us about u'self and what the Docs are saying. And we have fun too,

Rita I do have to say I love to ell people I'm working tho, I just don't always say in my PJ's or nitegown and I take naps too, It makes me sound like a strong woman hahaha

Welcome to those newly posting here.  I was so panicked about rads because I do not like being confined or told to stay still.  I had such a crazy routine...sipping water until I had to lie down...listerine tabs to keep my sinuses open, panic drops a friend sent, iPod in one ear every time...and for the first 3 days, xanax.  After 3 days, I realized i did not want to feel tired all day for 5 minutes of treatment.  So no drugs, but I kept all the other little habits throughout.  I bought soft inexpensive cotton camis from Kohls as yes, it did get messy with the lotions and sometimes marker.  I worked every day with rads and found the most tiring was the driving back and forth.  It goes fast...my recovery was fast.  I had a little broken skin and itchy rash.  Two weeks after, I was healed on the outside.

Well, at 3 AM I am not sleeping well. It's one of those weeks when things just seem out of sorts everywhere.  My DD#3 who moved 6 months ago has told me her marriage is "over" and my heart is aching for my grandaughters (6, 3) ... I don't see them much and the older one will be devastated...she only asks to go back to New Jersey...I think she thinks if she goes back there things will go back the way they were.  DD told me when we were in Florida;  and I put the sad news in a little "box" on my shoulder instead of letting it in.  But now it is sinking in...it was DD's birthday on the 10th...I called twice, sent Facebook post, and email...she has not spoken to me.  I think she is realizing where she's at at 39...at the top of her career but personally very lonely in her new town and facing a break up. OK enough...
I emailed and texted DS#1 in Chicago and offered to pay his way here for Easter as I found a good fare.  no response except he was busy the day I contacted him...I do not understand.  DD#2 who was supposed to arrange a brunch in her town answered my recent text with "I just arrived in Mexico with the kids...have not had time to make a reservation" ... I offered to take care of it all but no response. My grandson who I raised is "home' for a few days as he is off from work...he came to my house, picked up a car and I have not seen him yet.  He stays with friends (He's 23 and working so he can do what he wants)...I guess their lives are so hectic that they must be relieved that I do not have any major needs that they need to be concerned about.  Good thing....

On the bright side, My DS#2 just bought a first house in Berkeley and DH and I will visit with him for a week in May.  I look forward to that.

More good news...cardiologist follow up to echo and bloodwork was good today.  My cholesterol is elevated and he wants me to resume the statin and I agreed to try it again. 

Thanks for the smiles here....hmmm book club...will I ever have time to read anything besides science journals and text books?  I need a "can't put it down" book.

Hugs to all,

Joan

Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining
self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure
your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible
defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your
mind to think clearly
toward the solution that is certain to come.
Never
take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

Hi everyone - haven't posted in a few days as I have been busy starting rads. Two down and 31 to go. I think I figured out why I am having so much trouble emotionally with them, and didnt with chemo or surgery. First, I was in total shock at the beginning of chemo, but I think it was that once they hooked me up, I could read the whole time and get lost in the book, blocking out what was happening. And with the surgery, I was under anesthesia and had no idea what was happening, and when I woke up, 3 of my 5 kids were there. With rads, I have nothing to focus on, but the uncomfortable position and the buzz of the machine. I think I will try taking my iPod. 

Jackie- sounds like you had a very interesting life -career wise. I started on Wall St back in the late 60's, in the third largest brokerage house. I was in options trading and was one of only 8 females in the field. It was very exciting, handling hundreds of thousands of dollars (on paper) every day. Of course I started right at the beginning of a major downward turn and my first year there was the first year ever that no Christmas bonuses were given. They didn't resume until the three years later, the same year I left to have my first child. After that, my life revolved around kids- I have 3 biological kids, 2 adopted kids, was a foster parent for five years, then ended up working in the office at a local middle school for 15 years.

Joan811 - I empathize with the issues you have with your kids- it's painful watching them hurt, or be in stressful situations and not be able to "fix" it for them. My DD#2 was in a bad marriage and had a young son. When she told us she was going to leave him, she was shocked when all of us said, finally. She moved back home for a few years, then she and her son moved out on their own. Her ex joined the Army for 7 years. They never stopped talking and each was the first called with good or bad news. He was medically discharged about a year ago and was supposed to move in with his mother. Somehow he ended up back with my daughter " for a week or so" and is still there. They have both grown up a lot, but I worry that there was no decision made about being together again- it just sort of happened. And that's just one kid, and one issue. The biggest concern in have about my kids in general is that they are not close at all. They all see the splinter in each other's eyes, but not the plank in their own. There is alcoholism, ADHD. OCD, and Borderline personality Disorder, in addition to all the normal quirks and personality traits.  All I can do is pray, and love each one of them. But it is very stressful. 

Didn't mean to go on so long, but it is good to share the load. Hope you all have a great weekend. 

Jackie, I loved learning more about your life. I bet you would enjoy a nearby place called Wildseed Farms where they research, develop new kinds of flowers, sell seeds, and have a beautiful place you can stroll through their test gardens and seed fields. http://www.wildseedfarms.com/home.php

What interesting life you've led Anne. I've never known a stock broker before.

Joan, children are children to us forever, aren't they? We worry and are disappointed when they don't take our advice or even seem to care about us. I remember always trying to get out of seeing my parents and grandparents...much rather be out with my friends. I didn't realize how much it hurt them. Truthfully, I never considered their point of view. So selfish. I think it's the rare parent that can say everything is perfect in their relationship with their child. I'm happy for those who have it. I don't think I ever realized what my mother went through until I had teenagers of my own. When my daughters were in their 30's, Mother and I became good friends. She is gone now and I miss her. After a rocky relationship with my daughters, I am close to them now. (41 and 37) Neither of them have children due to devastating fertility issues. My son is 29 (surprise!) and is still trying to find his way in life after years of mental illness. Today is a good day. Tomorrow may not be. I just have to live my life and hope they will "drop in" once in a while when things are going good in their lives, not just when they need me - although that has a lot of satisfaction too.

As Jim Carey would say......alllll righty then.   I'm back and going to try my best not to accidentally kick my surge protector plug-in unit again. 

Where to start.  Well Sally I did spend time in some great homes and some very large ones in Santa Barbara.  The Coroners' house was 40 rooms.  Kids were grown up and gone......so only a few rooms were used.  I cleaned those ( during my 8 hr. stint ) every time I was there which was once a week,  while putting everything else on a rotation basis.  It took me then about a month to clean the house.  It had a massive Rose garden out front, a very large yard, and just outside of the yard and up a little hill was a hot-tub that over-looked the city.  Also on the property was a three bed, 1 bath guest-house which I also tidied up now and then.  It was a really pretty location.  That was my biggest house. 

As for Burpee Seed....I too never thought much ( before I got the job ) of the behind it all aspects.  I must admit that my thumbs ( though when I worked there I did get a bit better -- probably from the thought of such disgrace that I actually worked where I did )  were mostly brown.   We grew seeds on a special blotter like looking paper in a petri dish in a special germination refrigerator.  Then the tedious job of counting dish after dish and averaging the outcomes.  I always worried that I'd be off and that thousands of tons of seed would be dumped due to errant figures on my part.

Joan.....I am so sorry to hear that things are not well with your daughter.  Always wondered why we feel we have picked the perfect mate only to discover how wrong they often turn out just a few years into things.  We do change though, and if we don't do it together it does tend to tear us apart. 

I know somewhere in this world are successful ( or as much as they can be ) divorces.  I divorced my first husband and I too worried about the our children.  Sure was glad they were not teen-agers when it happened....they virtually were babies.  In fact, my daughter was 3 mos. old. 

I was too young when I got married, and of course just knew we would have a perfect life.  You see I married a genius ( at least all the tests said so ) and so I was CERTAIN of a great life.  Those sorts of people though seem to pay for their brilliance in some other way.  He was very ill-equipped for the mundane every day life of common sense getting along in life.  Un-fortunately, his family history ( another thing that should have rang huge alarm bells ) of alcoholism gave him a great way to cover up his in-abilities to live in an every day world.  He just totally obliterated it.  So ten years into the marriage it was over. 

We ( after the first hellish 6 mos. ) learned how to be friends for our children and I never said one negative word about him to his children.  Just figured they could decide when they had enough rationality.  He is on his 5th. wife.  I am still with number 2 -- almost 40 yrs. now.  I think we are going to make it.  

Just thinking out loud for you Joan.....that if circumstances fall right.....divorce need not be the worst thing though it could produce a few rocky roads and a detour now and then.  I hope done right there will be at least as much if not a lot more gain in it....if it must take place. 

The other thing is.......our kids do at times display a horrible communication skill problem with us.....but hey, they know they can count on us and not lose us, where others might just walk off without a thought.  So they let so many other things come first sometimes.  I guess we are left to just deal with it, like we have had to do with so many other things before

going to next page.

Reporting back. I have a great coat that is meant to be worn with a scarf.  Kept it on throughout the gathering.  Doubt anyone noticed my significantly reduced chest.  ;-)

Thought I had fluid under my left arm but turned out to be normal.  I have my first TE fill on Wednesday.  Yes,  a little nervous.

I LOVE the beautiful pics shared here.  I've been working in our garden a little each day.  Think I'm doing quite well for being past the op on 3/26.  However, my energy isn't what it used to before the op.  My PS said I can start exercising carefully;not stretching with my arms.  Will do a water aerobics class with the current LiveStrong group at the Y on Monday.  Am so looking forward to it.

Hope everyone is enjoying beautiful weather.

Me again, for some reason the last post I could see was on April 9.  Once I posted that last message, I could read and get caught up.

A 40-room house!  Wow.  You did all that on your own and the guest house, impressive. Saw it was on a rotating basis, I am pleased to read that!  I was helping care for my then 12-yr old grandson in Dongguan, China for a time in 2012.  We had a VERY western 4-story town home. I have back issues and that was too much. I found a lovely energetic woman to come twice a week to do the floors and such.  

I had no idea there was a book thread. Will certainly look for that one.  I just finished "Secret Daughter" by Gowda and loved it.  Now reading "Can't Wait to Get to Heaven" by Fannie Flagg which is making me LOL.

I've had issues with my youngest DD, 40 yrs.  We are doing much better now.  At the moment she is in TX looking for a job.  My grandson, now 14 here with us.  They have lived with my DH while I was in San Diego, CA caring for my mom from 2003 other than a few years in China.  Moved to San Diego when Mom was DX with BC and needed radiation.  She passed last February and oh how I miss her.  

I left for China in June 2012 as I just needed a break from the caregiving. As mom got older it became more challenging.  I was working on a project with my DD and stepson for 2 months.  Was home for 3 days, then left on a previously planned trip to Denmark and England for 3 weeks.  Just before I left England my DD in China asked me to help with the caregiving.  My mom wasn't happy with that but I reminded her that when my kids were young she was always there for me.  She got that altho she preferred me to be with her rather than a caregiver.  

Long story short, we decided to return to the US late December 2012.  Had DD and GS come first to get him back into school.  I stayed to move out of the house and get the cat spayed.  Felt cat was healed and on Jan 10 booked tix home for Jan 20.  On Jan 17 my brother contacted me to say my mom's hip fractured.  She had a 50-50 chance of getting thru the surgery. She did but was never the same and passed on Feb 17, age 90 1/2.

At some level i was grateful for this as I got my diagnosis on April 9 last year.  It would have been so hard on her to go thru that with me.  She's better helping me from the Other Side.

I'm rambling...sending positive thoughts to all.

Susie