Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Jun 13, 2012 03:00PM Wrongchick wrote:

MT,
Rant away my flat sister! I live on the other side of the country from you, but if your life ever takes you to CA, yes indeedy we could give each other a high five. I'm trying to be ok with giving up my beloved red wine, but we could clink our glasses of lemonade as well.
Do you know the essay about this topic by A. Lorde? I read it decades ago in college, but even then, in the bliss of youth, health, and perky breasts, it made an impression on me. Let me know if you are interested in reading it. I'll try to find a digital copy.
Just so you know, the dude at the CSA probably was the type to stare at your chest no matter what was or was not there. Or maybe his sister/ mother/daughter/aunt/ grandma/niece is fighting BC. I do my best to think spiritually generous thoughts when I catch people staring, but oh me oh my do I want to yell sometimes, too.

Jun 13, 2012 03:09PM alexandria58 wrote:

MT1

I go flat exclusively.  Never wear a bra - or anything.  Moat people don't seem to notice anything other than I'm thinner than I used to be.  I had a bit of a problem the first few months, but now, it's fine.   I'm not sure where you're located, but I'll get together for a flat fest if it's anywhere near my locale.  

Jun 13, 2012 07:49PM crystalphm wrote:

I want to be invited to the First National Flatfest... :-)

I do think about this, I work with all women mostly, and I glance at chests. The interesting thing is when I was coping with cancer issues and working, I would talk about it, and I was shocked at the women who had breast cancer, there are ALOT of us out there...but of course there are many lumpectomies and probably not near as many of us who choose to be flat.

I am fortunate to have a friend who has sent me photos of flat...and it has helped me feel "ok" because I look like her. If that makes any sense.

One interesting moment, I saw a woman with one breast, and the remaining breast was large. I was working with probably 30 other people and I was the only person who noticed.

Jun 13, 2012 08:07PM alexandria58 wrote:

OK, so how about first annual flat fest either in NY or NJ (I'm in Trenton, NJ) sometime over the summer or early fall?  

Jun 14, 2012 12:10AM Momine wrote:

I like the idea of a flat fest, lol. We should do it in one of the hotels in Vegas, home of the cleavage. To those who are only half-flat, you are obviously welcome too.

Jun 14, 2012 06:48AM - edited Jun 14, 2012 06:50AM by Flat_for_Life

I was sitting here....on my recovery couch....surfing for some sort of connection to the outside world.  A world I used to belong to 9 days ago.  It has been 9 days since my bi-lateral mastectomy due to cancer in my right breast.  The decision was relatively easy since I made it so many years ago....losing a number of good friends to this disease puts things in perspective for you. 

I came across this discussion board (and this thread) and it just made my day!  Flat Chested Fest!!!!  I immediately felt like I belonged somewhere in the world again....The Flat Chested World!!!!!  I have to tell you that I have never joined any chat room or discussion board until today...I wanted the Flat Chested World to know they have a new member from PA!!!!  I wanted to yell....I AM HERE!!!!!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to belong again... I am so newly diagnosed that I can't even put my recovery information at the bottom of this reply....this topic was the inspiration for my username!!!!

Jun 14, 2012 07:11AM Tina337 wrote:

Jun 14, 2012 08:36AM River_Rat wrote:

Hello Flat for Life, I'm glad you found us.  I think you'll enjoy the website that Tina gave you too.  When I was feeling like I was alone in the decision I had made I saw a book called "Show Me" and I found http://breastfree.org/ and read the stories there and suddenly I didn't feel so freakish and alone.  I looked at the pictures and saw beautiful strong women.  As I healed, after the drains were removed, I looked at my chest in the bathroom mirror every time I went in there; and it wasn't long before I saw a beautiful strong woman there too.  

I can't do New York but I'll be there in spirit.  If there's an interest for a Flat Fest in the Detroit area, that I can do. 

Jun 14, 2012 11:48AM thepinkbirdie wrote:

i had a left mastectomy in 2009.  i tried the prosthesis and hated it.  then i tried loose fitted shirts.  then i said to hell with it all and wear what i feel like.  nothing quite says "breast cancer awareness" like one boob in a tight tank top!

patterned shirts do help to camoflage.

love "flat fest"!! 

Jun 14, 2012 12:00PM greenfrog wrote:

FlatFest! Excellent idea.

Maybe this should be a virtual international festival of flatness?

Some profile raising of this issue is long overdue. Koo Stark is a poster woman for the resolutely breastless - she looks fantastic. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136178/Prince-Andrews-lover-Koo-Stark-to-launch-phone-hacking-claim-U-S-Murdoch-empire.html

Hope you are on the road to recovery soon Flat For Life.

Jun 14, 2012 12:18PM Linda-n3 wrote:

MT1, thanks for starting this thread! And wrongchick, I would LOVE to read the essay you referred to.

I purchased silicone boobs after BMX, was informed they were out of pocket because I had not met my out-of-provider network minimum - they didn't tell me that before I picked them up and used them - told me later - and of course, being me, didn't put up much of a fuss - found they were soft, comfortable, provided a "buffer zone" from all the huggers in my life. But at home I went without, and have been going out more and more without them and last week at work one of the secretaries asked if I had lost weight - LOL! I was thin initially, so not major change in appearance, and I never liked wearing a bra, so wearing one to just hold some silicone in place is NOT my idea of fun. But I AM having a little difficulty with the bathing suit issue - flat is one thing, concave is another.... *sigh*

So, when and where is the Flat Fest? Will be there if at all possible!!!

BTW, there is another thread here called Flat and Fabulous that may be of interest. And there is another one with suggestions for wardrobe - can't remember the name of the thread, but there were some pics and ideas there.

Jun 14, 2012 01:33PM MT1 wrote:

resolutely breastless- I love this statement. I did not know Koo Stark, thanks for the link Green Frog.

If I hadn't found Sentenced2Live's photos the night I returned from the plastic surgeons office, I don't know what I would have done.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sentenced2live/sets/72157594534895235/

Then I found this blog:

http://nofnpinkribbons.blogspot.com/

and this one:

http://ddlatt.blogspot.com/

and I knew everything would be OK. I knew I did not have to go the traditional route and get reconstruction. So, I know that we are out there. I just want to see other women like me. Like, with all this breast cancer awareness crap, why doesn't anyone mention that many women who go through treatment don't have nipples? Choose not to get then, want them, whatever. Don't get me started on the pinkypinkness. But the pictures you see are of women with breasts, I can't tell if lumpectomy, reconstruction, if they are just advertisements, I don't know the details.

But I am real. This choice is real. The choice not to reconstruct is a choice, reconstruction is a choice. This is part of breast cancer too. 

I wonder if we could have a skype or video chat? Hell, in person would be even better, but we should figure something out! 

Jun 14, 2012 03:04PM Tina337 wrote:

MT1, I wish I had had your strength and insight. I was on the fence - didn't like the unnatural aspect of implants - but I thought recon might help maintain my pride of body and sexuality. Boy, was I wrong about that one! They were like a stupid white elephant in the room. My husband has told me he thinks I look more like my old self without the implants. Oh, well, here I am. Better late than never.

I am game for meeting in Phila. I have been trying on bathing suits recently, which has temporarily taken me into the sad zone. Lymphedema, concavity, extra flesh around the arm pits, saggy butt, bleck. At 55, my contest will be to just wear a bathing suit after four years! :-)

Jun 15, 2012 08:08AM havingfaith wrote:

High Five to everyone, I'm so glad this thread has started.  I'm 7 weeks past my surgery and yesterday was the first time I went without a sports bra or a cami and let me tell you it felt so good in the 100 degree weather. I'm out there too looking for other flat chested women.  I have to be honest and tell you before when I would notice women and their cleavage I would think "cover yourself up", but now I feel sorry for them because they may not know the danger of breast cancer.

I'm going through chemo right now so I'm also looking for other picc lines or ports.

Jun 15, 2012 02:13PM greenfrog wrote:

If you managed to meet up for FlatFest we foreigners could Skype in to someone's laptop for a virtual cup of coffee maybe?

That's a great pic you linked to MT1 - nothing overly heroic or posturing - just a woman with kids on the beach living her life.