Topic: I look for other flat chested women. A rant.

Forum: Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy — Discuss prostheses, swimsuits, bras, and other options for women not having reconstruction or waiting for reconstruction.

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

Posted on: Jun 13, 2012 05:39PM - edited Jul 2, 2012 09:56PM by mt1

mt1 wrote:

I know many of you wear prosthesis, so I probably wouldn't be able to see or 'know', but. I look for you. I want to see you. I want to form a union, lol. I wish it were even more accepted, acceptable to be flat. To not wear prosthesis, not feel the need to, to opt out of reconstruction-if that is your choice. I do hope that women who see me, flat as can be, see there are options, that reconstruction isn't par for the course. I want to make flat beautiful, sexy, stylish. Normal. And it is normal for me, is becoming normal, but I am talking about society, norms and expectations. Breast cancer is not about 'boob jobs'. Yes, many of us opt for them, want and need them. But it is also about choosing to be flat. 

Geez, would I like to meet up with other flat chested women. I would love to take over a hotel, make noise, laugh, cry, be flat together-to see you. I want to meet other women who, like me, have decided not to reconstruct. I want to be able to see you and high five! I want to experience our society of normal.

I was picking up my vegetables from the CSA and a man could not stop looking at my chest, I wanted to yell, 'Breast Cancer did this!! Get it together, man!' I wish all of us would!

Rant complete.

Log in to post a reply

Page 148 of 434 (4,339 results)

Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 08:41AM Starak wrote:

Thank you all for your thoughts on nipples and experiences and Barbara, for info on the Still You cami.  I agree I have had the experience of old pathways being triggered.  The brain is truly a remarkable thing.

Barbara

Freed 'em when they tried to kill me. BMX, no recon, center dog ears removed, currently living flat but still tending an extensive foob and mx bra experimental farm in the back of the closet.
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 09:00AM alexandria58 wrote:

Sarak: what you said.  I want every woman to do what feels best for her, but I really want to see more acceptance of going flat.  It really is fine.  I'm more self conscious about my sagging face line that I am about not having breasts.

Dx 2/22/2011, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 10:29AM River_Rat wrote:

Starak, I agree.  I don't think people notice the difference between small and flat.  I, like you, am paying attention and looking and there have been a few times that I think I've seen another flat woman but without conversation really didn't know.  I help out in my grandson's first grade class a couple of times a month and none of the kids, or the teacher, have ever noticed.  I also have helped out a couple of times in my granddaughter's third grade class and once again none of the kids have said anything or seemed to notice.  So I wouldn't worry about anybody having to cover their eyes.

Alexandria, don't get me started on jowls.  Now there's a problem. Tongue Out

Fear is the highest fence. ~Dudley Nichols
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 11:41AM Tina337 wrote:

Alexandria - I am so with you on the facial stuff and aging, but not nearly as critical as I used to be. When I see current or old pics, I might get a pang of sadness. To be honest, I am more annoyed with the lower half of my body and would feel more self conscious exposing that vs my concaved mess of a chest in a locker room. At least my chest has an excuse! The other part is evidence of how much time has passed since BC and LE and its effect on my body. In the last few months I have been exercising and sometimes don't feel so critical. I am trying to love my body as it is right now, practice the kindness I have for others and cut myself some slack. As you point out, Barbara/Starak, no one is really paying attention and notices those things but me. I just feel the need to "conquer" and take back what BC has done to my body. I can't have my chest back, but I would like my butt and legs! And I don't mean some crazy level of fitness. I just think I would feel more confident and satisfied. Sure, I can put clothes on and look nice, but I would like to feel good when I take them off! What I'd really like is the feeling of being fit and energetic. It's different than looking at models or whatever and wishing for some unrealistic body.

"Life isn't about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself." ~ George Bernard Shaw Dx 11/13/2007, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 12:06PM Momine wrote:

Tina, I know exactly what you mean by this: "What I'd really like is the feeling of being fit and energetic. It's different than looking at models or whatever and wishing for some unrealistic body."

It is one of the reasons I drag my butt to the gym 3X a week, even though it is pretty boring. So far, I have been doing it for 6 months, and although the change is subtle it is also definite. It is nice to feel strong again.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/20/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/13/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/9/2012 Surgery 3/8/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2012 Femara (letrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 12:32PM - edited Nov 17, 2012 12:34PM by lindakr

Crystal - I wear a Amoena, Energy Light 2S, Size 10 silicone with the Cami's.  The cami's have a little hole at the top of the cup/pocket so that you can reposition the prosthesis without being noticed. It's also the  most comfortable prothesis I've had yet, it's cool, lightweight (more or less) and lots of times I don't even notice that I have it on. And the cami's make a huge difference for me over bra's, I don't feel like I have to rip them off as soon as I walk in the door.

Modified Radical MX w/axillary dissection; 6xTCH, Hercpetin for a year, Rads, trying 3rd AI Aromasin. No Reconstruction. Lymphedema. Dx 3/19/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/2/2010 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Targeted Therapy 5/15/2010 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 5/15/2010 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2010 Arimidex (anastrozole), Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy 9/25/2010 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 01:09PM Outfield wrote:

Ah yes, the jowls.  

It's those reminders of youth again.  For so many of us, this is not just a loss of breasts, it's a loss of the hormones of female young adulthood.  I struggle to know how to be the age I am now.  I went suddenly from 44, looking younger than I was, still nursing a little one, immersed in the world of young children, to laid-out in my bed most of the time, no social role other than the sick role, and when I re-emerged into the world I was much older.  

I am so glad I had that experience of nursing a child.  That little someone becomes so tied to you.  It was as if my world revolved around a double sun.  When I was diagnosed, my kids were toddlers and tapering off their nursing, but I still felt like my major identity was as mother.  I still felt like I looked pretty young.  

In the nearly 2-1/2 years since my diagnosis, my face has aged tremendously.  I have new wrinkles and saggy spots.  I don't look 80, but I don't look younger than I am anymore.  When I lost weight during chemo, the skin sagged and wrinkled.  Riding a stationary bike I'd see the flaps of wrinkles around what used to be very solid thighs.

I don't think I had a whole lot of "youth" left before this happened, but I do mind losing it so fast.  Breasts, schmests.  I do miss them a lot, but if I had a choice between getting my old breasts back now, guaranteed totally healthy, versus getting back that year of life I missed during treatment, I'd take that year of waning youth, any day.  

----------------------------------------

We are in Greece, the UK, NYC, Virginia, New Mexico, where else?  There must be bridges of flatties in between, they're just not on the site.



Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 02:02PM greenfrog wrote:

Outfield - your post brought tears to my eyes. It echoes my experience totally.

I'd love for a meet up. Momine and I can't be the only ones in Europe .... if people read this thread regularly but feel nervous about posting please step up and say hello. 

Dx 5/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/19 nodes, ER+, HER2-
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 02:20PM Lily55 wrote:

I have not been on here for ages but am reeling from the news that I have now been told that due to radiotherapy damage I do not have the tissue for a reconstruction - I was promised this when they did the MX and I have a 1 kilo (2.2 pounds) weight didffference from one side to another so really notice it when I wear nothing and egen with a pros I notice it, I HATE being lop sided with a passion, I hate not being the same and really do not know what to do with myself......I am also in constant pain / aching and sore and never get a good night´s sleep, all since radiotherapy...so I may not be in the right place as you all seem happy but i am not one thing or another, just unbalanced and that is how I feel unbalanced and utterly miserable. It gets worse not better.....

Dx 4/2012, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 7/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/3/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 8/15/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 7/19/2013 Aromasin (exemestane) Radiation Therapy 3/7/2019 External: Bone Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel)
Log in to post a reply

Nov 17, 2012 02:29PM Momine wrote:

Lily, you are more than welcome. That sounds really difficult. Did the PS have anything useful or constructive to offer?

I think before anything else, I would look for a second opinion, even if by email. If you really want the recon, I am sure there is a solution. Are you determined to stay the same size, or would you consider a reduction on the remaining breast?

When did you finish rads?

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/20/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/13/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/9/2012 Surgery 3/8/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 4/1/2012 Femara (letrozole)

Page 148 of 434 (4,339 results)

Scroll to top button