CMF Question
Comments
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Hey Carol, re: plumbing issue removal, did they want to wait til you did that to begin arimidex?
I know that causes blood clots and have some concern re: surgery and taking it. Did they tell you when they would start you on it? Or do you have a "window" after chemo before they do it.
I must say, isn't it nice to be talking all about "preventive measures" vs. having cancer? Cuz we don't!
.I am still terrified of the lung issue and am scared the other shoe will be dropping. It seems too good to be true after the scares of last year that I could get good news, you know?
Hope that skin is treating you well. I drank so much more water this time, what a difference that makes!
Happy day ladies, off to New Hampshire, spent a fun eve. yesterday with two nieces and daughter making little gauzy wedding favors for my sister and her new hubby. Heart shaped bubble solution in a tiny white bottle, 3 jordan almonds for luck and a tag that says "happily ever after........" This is her second wedding, and my mom thinks making a fuss is ridiculous, but I think she should make and deserves a fuss. Whyever not? Happily Ever After to all of us, too.
xoxo
annie
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Annie,
I will be praying for you, that the lung problem is nothing. I am worried about my bleeding issue, too. I will see the gyn onc on Tuesday, and I can't believe it is taking so long! I understand how you feel, being worried that other shoe will drop... It really stinks, having to worry about all this. And now, to top it off, every ROUTINE dr. appt. I have is NEVER routine ever again... I just saw an eye dr. who THINKS I may have glaucoma... No family members have ever had it, and I am really getting sick of all this. I don't know whether having all these tests, for 'preventive reasons' is worth all the worry that I'm having. Besides, every time I have a test for something, I have that condition that they are testing for... so scared about the endometrial ca...
That is why I haven't been online much, and I'll probably try to stay away. But, I will be reading, to check on everyone, and to see if you have an update about your lung.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Harley
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Hello ladies,
Sounds like all of us are busy with Dr. appts. Just had my first pet/ct scan after treatment today so the scaniety is setting in. I should have the results next week.
Annie- Praying that the lung issue is nothing. Have fun with the wedding favors. Part of my job is plan events and it's alot of fun. I hope it is 'Happily ever after"!
Harley- Hoping that your appt. goes well next Tuesday. I will be thinking about you. I totally understand about being online. Just please let us know how you are doing from time to time.
Carol- Hope all is well with Rads. Are we half way done?
Everyone have a nice weekend!!
Jill
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Good morning ladies! It's raining here this morning and it's so nice to have a leisurely Saturday morning. We've been gone the last two weekends and it was to much fun, but I'm enjoying the leisurely time today. I hope you're all having a good weekend, too.
Carol, you are playing awesome golf! I'm envious. I keep working at my game and still am tickled when I shoot a 50 to 55 for nine. I'm so much better at bowling! LOL
JIll, good to hear from you! Glad things are going well!
Harley, hang in there! You're so right! These routine appointments always seem to dredge up something new that need to be "fixed." Often these are things that would have gone undetected for quite awhile and probably could have gone for some time without being check out. Now I guess we're in the "extra special group" that gets the full treatment! Oh to be back to the normal group! Please check in often. We love ya and will worry if you don't!!
Annie....... I think we all relate to your feelings about "the other shoe falling." Our bodies have turned on us once or twice already and we don't have the faith in them that we used to have. You are still in my thoughts and prayers. I know the lung issue is "eating away at you." Isn't it funny how we want to know about something like that but also DON'T WANT to know, too? Such a vicious circle! I"m glad you could get your mind off of it for awhile by helping make the favors for your sister's wedding. Every wedding is important....even if it is the second one! This time will be the start of a wonderful, lifetime relationship. Hugs to you hon!
JulieChicago...When is your next chemo? Didn't you find the CMF a bit easier? Thinking about you...........
Ginny, I will check out the Amtrak train schedule this next week. I think that I can take the train right into the city. I will google the address of your hotel and can probably catch a cab from the station right to the hotel. I'm determined that we are going to meet each other while you are in the U.S.
Well, I have some things that I need to get caught up on this morning and am actually in the mood to do so. Guess I'd better get busy on them before the desire passes.
Have a great weekend, gals.
Rita
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Wow, so much for getting home and wanting to give a quick little shout out ... sorry gals, I don't have it in me.
Left this morning at 5:45am, just home at 4:30. Went on a "marathon" training walk (18 miles) today. I swore we we're walking in San Fran, the hills on the route we're killer. Although I must say that the uphills for me are better than the downs on my knees. Today was the first day that once I took my shoes off (poor Ginny as we we're in her car), I felt a couple of "hot" spots on each heel. This has me a bit concerned, I've been doing so good with my feet. On my way home from the ferry, swung by the grocery store, bought some Epson salts (will be soaking the tootsies), and since I was there picked myself up a Dungi crab. No cereal for me tonight, even with the dh out of town. Tina I think you asked where Long Beach is, head to LA, and from there go West to the coast. I spoke with the Kent a couple hours ago, and supposedly the "worker bees" we're in more negotiations today, and possibly the word was that they may come to an agreement. So who knows, maybe he will be back on a plane north by tomorrow.
In the mean time, I told Ginny that I would come back over to the Seattle side of the water tomorrow (since dh will probably not be home til late if he does return) to do a short 12 mile training walk with the team. Needless to say, I'm going from the puter to soak my feet, nothing like a quiet house, a LARGE glass of white wine (I had more than enough water today), and a tub full of Epson salts. Life is Good in my little world.
The ds is hopefully boarding a plane (with no ID), and heading back to lil' ol Poulsbo tonight. He's had a great experience and I'm hoping he might have a story to tell. I swear he's been gone a week, and our cel chats have been less than 15 minutes total for the week. I guess I should be happy that Life is Good for him as well, and chatting with Mom is not his first priority.
Sorry for posting all about my day, know that I read every word prior to spewing at the keyboard myself. Is it crazy or what, that I come home and still like to check in to see what my "gal friends on the puter" (as my dh calls you all), are up to?
Thinking of you all often, (even Ginny asked about the gal's on-line) and usually I have a story to tell ...
Carol
Hey gals, hate to admit it, but I will ... this is a copy and pasted post from my Jan 2008 group, thought I'd share as it lets you all know what I've been up to today, and my lack of participation ... please know that each and everyone of you that have had such an impact on my life over the last 8 months or so, and are truly important to me and my gratitude will be had to ever re-pay.
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Hi ladies:
Hope everyone had a nice weekend, and Carol, way to go!!! 18 miles, wow! I hope those feet are feeling better.
I think the fact that your son did not chat too much means that he is having a great time and is a happy kid and very secure. They don't call as much if everything is AOK. I am sure you'll have some great catch up chats...my daughter kept me up several nights in a row at the end of the school year!
Julie, how are you? Is it going OK? I hope those side effects have levelled off for you.
Rita, how is that foot? And thank you so much for the votes of confidence, when I begin to fret about the lung stuff (I have not made the appt. yet, I just wanted some time off) I shove it back.Good advice!!! Thank you!
Jill, no news is good news, remember...if they don't call you right away, that is great news! Am looking forward to hearing how it turned out for you. Am sending good wishes and prayers your way for a great outcome for you SOON. Oh, that wait is the pits.
Harley, I am not aware if you are in menopause or if that is an issue for you anymore? If it is, and you are not, it is not uncommon to spot as one goes thru the change or even begins to go thru it.
If you went into chemopause, they tell me that often you spot a bit when your hormone levels return, but then it may stop and never resurface. They did tell me that I should not go to the gyno for at least 3-6 months after chemo as my paps will come back abnormal. Don't know when you finished?
But good luck to all of us, in all of our testings..
The wedding was soooo wonderful even tho I was uncomfortable with the expander in and had to wear a black tent, basically. Since I was not the bride, no one was looking at me, thankfully. It was romantic, beautiful, outdoor, very Ralph Lauren type event with a big white tent and everyone dressed up. They gave each other to each other, and had all their kids (5) in attendance. They were so sweet together and my sister, who lost her first child to a muscular dystrophy type illness, then had her husband cheat on her, with the divorce after, is soooo overdue for happiness. It was life affirming, all we did was watch the video over and over again when we got home. I was so very happy to be able to be there. Her happiness is just lovely, if I can ever figure out photobucket I will try to post some shots, it was truly a triumph of love. There was one part where they danced together and everyone was blowing the little bubbles at them with twinkling christmas fairy lights in all their plants,,,just beautiful. SO romantic. And I love that they are both 50 and had a big white wedding, why the heck not. Love has no age, and I saw that this weekend. They are off to Paris for the honeymoon.
Everybody have a great day, awfully hot here. Ginny, how I wish I could meet you as well!!! You have a great time and girls, post some shots, OK?
love to all of you
annie
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p.s Carol, sweetie, nothing got posted........we know you are up to great stuff tho!!!
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sorry I'm not keeping up with reading and replying to everyone's posts these days. Hope everyone is doing great!
Annie,
I was dx'd with premature ovarian failure at age 35, but probably had this condition from age 19 or even earlier, as I believe I had hot flashes then, although I didn't know what they were back then. If I got frustrated or embarrassed, I would get 'flushed'. AND my periods were ALWAYS irregular!
I am nervous about seeing this gyn onc tomorrow, since he may want to hear my history.... not very good at telling drs. that I am a FREAK!
With premature ovarian failure, it is common to 'spontaneously ovulate', but I don't think that is what is going on now. I went for a run last week, on Tuesday, and then I had some bleeding. Now, I seem to have this yellow, watery discharge... WTH? But, it's a good thing that I have uterine fibroids, because I have been getting trans vaginal ultrasounds just about every year, although I did skip one a couple of years ago. However, I will go to the gyn onc tomorrow with LAST years, u/s and THIS most recent u/s, so he can see that last year, I didn't have anything to be concerned about and now I have a 10 mm endometrial stripe! From the reading I've been doing, IF everything has been ok in my previous u/s, then even if this is ..... (I can't even type it!) It probably should be very early, so just take all that extra junk out, since it never worked right, anyway, and be done with it.
Sorry for the long post...
The wedding sounds beautiful!!
Hugs
Harley
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Harley, then we are all freaks, hon. Everyone has some health related thing to tell.....I have had two stillbirths, a surrogate, and I have never met the woman yet, who has had an "uneventful" womanly life.....we all have stuff. You are just ahead of the pack, kiddo, cuz we are all going thru it.
I am pretty sure you are right, that it is not cancer, and even if it were cervical cancer, two of my friends have had it, they just take out the piece and then they were fine after that, nothing else needed in either case, and neither case was early. It's kind of like a prostate issue I believe, they both said CC is slow growing and usually not particularly serious.
But it certainly does not sound like you have it at all. Remember, the incidence of CC from taking Tamoxifen is only 1%. You have a 99% chance of nuttin
.I'm with ya on the anxiety. Geez, I admire you for even going, I can't even pick up the stupid phone and make the scan appt. for my lung (even tho my onc says on a scale of 1-100 he thinks its a one). The anxiety is crippling, tho, isn't it. Our challenge is to face it and not let it get control of us (good advice, see I don't even take my own
. It does strike me tho, that we've all been thru so much, that we are like post traumatic stress syndrome war vets. Of course you are scared, you are a human being. If you weren't nervous, you'd be a robot!! But nerves never killed anyone yet, right?This time of life can be great, but it does bring its own challenges, like bc, womanly issues, oopharectomies, hysterectomies, and just gettin' older. The good news is you have beautiful new boobs and no cancer in them and you look great! Life does seem to put a bunch of road blocks in front of us sometimes and you are more than due for some good luck now.
I will be looking to see you back on here, telling us all is well. I am sending lots of hugs ( )
and a little angel to watch over you sweetie. I wish I lived closer, I'd go with you for moral support. ^@^ xoxoxo
annie
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p.s. Harley, my mom has glaucoma, it's nothing. She justs has eye drops she sticks in every AM. She is 77 years old and works a full day at the nursery then shops, cleans and exercises. So fret not, if left for years untreated, OK, problem, but early stage and eye drops is AOK>
Grandma had it too, eyedrops fine, lived to 93 without any problems, so cross this off your worry list m'dear.
GOOD LUCK
xox
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i dont see anything on here about cmf
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great support here though. my wife starts cmf tomorrow and scared to death. she had (AC) and about killed her. (AC) is mustard gas..look it up. i do not believe anyone can have mustard gas put in their veins and be alive to talk about it. i have to question the potency. docs do get money for chemo subscriptions. after seeing what it did to my wife,,1 treatment. i will never be convinced that anyone can take 4 to 6 treatments of AC..
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Hi tbi....
I think that your wife will find CMF a doable regiment. Is she doing the 6 IV infusions or is she doing the pills or a combination of pills and infusion.
Tell her to ask for ice chips to suck on while having her treatments and to drink plenty of water after it. It is best is she takes her anti-nausea pills as soon as the treatment is done instead of waiting for the nausea to hit. They usually ward off the nausea. I will be thinking about her tomorrow and hoping that all goes well. Compared to AC, I think she will be surprised at how "doable" this really is.
Any questions? Just ask.
Rita
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Wow, I posted a couple days ago (I thought) and for some reason it never materialized here (hmmff?).
I just wanted to thank you for your prayers, I got my mri results on Friday and it looks like I am NED (no evidence of disease)---yeah!
Did a mammo yesterday and after the mri am not too worried. For some reason I missed my testing 6months ago---ya, that means after treatments finished I have had no testing until now (wow 1 Year). So relieved. So I'm hoping everyone here who are going for, or waiting for tests now, have the same results!Annie, your sister's wedding sounds like it was amazing. I don't even know her and I am so happy for her! I'm glad you had a great time!
You are in my prayers re: your test.
Harley, you too!
Rita, how is your foot? Hope you are feeling better.
We just booked our flights. I will email you the details.
Carol, I hope the saline soaks are helping!
Welcome tbi110. This is a great support for ladies doing CMF. There are a couple currently going through treatments, the rest of us have just finished or finished a year ago and are here to support the new ladies... In between we chat as we have formed relationships helping each other. Any questions, please let us know.
Take care everyone,
Ginny
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Hi,
Just checking in to say hi. Had bloodwork today. Was supposed to be yesterday-- but I totally forgot about it. Can I blame it on chemobrain already? I guess I was so relieved to be relatively "back to me" and trying to catch up at work--I managed to forget about cancer for a moment. Funny how that should seem strange. Anyway-- results back and counts are low, but not critical. I remember after the first A/C treatment that my counts were so low that they actually referred to it as the "panic range" on the report. Not too reassuring. So I'm tired....dragging actually. I'm anemic normally and on top of this-- got my period--- so I guess that would explain the breathlessness. I work in a tower type building with 12 floors and usually take the stairs everywhere for what little exercise I can get there. Today-- just wasn't going to happen. Made it up 4 of my usual 6 flight run and had to call it quits.
Other normal life stuff-- All this rain in Illinois has made my garden explode. Really- like I've never seen it before. I have 10 inch cucumbers and ripening cherry tomatoes already. When the big tomatoes ripen, I think I may be in a bit of trouble-- far more than we can eat! Peppers too. The kids are enjoying this though. Tim, my 6 year old, helped me plant everything- so he's been having fun picking the -heh- fruits of his labor. My 4 yr old daughter, Beth, has discovered slugs. (Which have unfortunately discovered my garden too). She thinks they are "cool" and has been hunting them. Yuk. She's the fearless one. My son runs at a fly.
Rambling and need to get two sticky garden dirty kids into the bath while I can still muster the last of my energy. Wanted to pop in and let everyone know I'm surviving....so far...
-julie
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Hi everyone!
Julie...so glad things are going well for you. I only had to have one of the neulasta shots to build up my white blood count. Some gals doing CMF are so lucky that they don't have to have any of them. Other than that, I managed well. I know they were down more at times than others because I did have the fatigue, but I'll take fatigue any day in exchange for the nausea! You just keep doing as well now...........you can do it!
Ginny, it's funny that you said you posted and it didn't show up. I had the same thing happen last week. I thought I was going crazy...or should I say crazier!!! It never did appear and I know I posted.
As for my foot, I upped my magnesium and Vitamin D3 intake. My foot has improved. It is not 100% and I still am babying it but it is better. I have my blood work done next week and then see the onc again the first week in August so I'll talk to him about it then again. (I can't believe you got by a whole year Ginny without being checked, but speaking of that check-up...YEAHHHHHH.........NED, that is so wonderful! I bet you were jumping up and down on that one!!!!!)
Hi Annie...I'm so glad your sister's wedding went well and it's SO GOOD to have you back. You're always there right away to give us all support and words of wisdom! I just love to read your posts!
Harley, hang in there. You're going to be O.K. It just takes us each time to find that "new normal" and sometimes what we find isn't exactly what we want, but we can make it do for us.
Carol, I get tired just listening to all the thins you do, gal! Don't hurt those feet too much, though. It may take a bit longer to mend now. When is the last rad day????
Jill...you and JulieChicago need to compare your gardens. It sounds like you both have some good ones. I can't even grow flowers in pots around here. The rabitts ate off all my flowers. I was so mad at them! Grrr........ LOl
Well, I need to get moving. Just wanted to stop in and see how everyone is doing. Hope you're enjoying these summer days as much as I am.
Catch you later.
Rita
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Hi all, just a quick hello:
Harley, any in put on things?
Ginny: YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
So Awesome! I hate that they make you wait so long, but like I have found, no news is good news!!! This is wonderful.
Jill, you sound like you are coping great! I too had breathlessness, musr go with it. Pace yourself hon, you can do this.
Rita: I will write down the fix for this, as you seem to have it conquered, I am so glad it is better for you.
I am NOT even going for the lung scan until I see my onc. ....just too damn scared! I see him the first week in August, along with ps to coordinate whether we pull the plumbing first, to get on arimidex first, or finish the ps. I too, don't need to get the remaining girl MRI'd until the one year.
Yahoo!
I am having the same issues, alot of stuff not posting. Must be some new glitch in the new website, liked the other style better I must say.
Carol, hope all is well.
xoxo
annie
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I saw my gyn onc, and he was nice, but... I am not getting any help from him. He wants to do a biopsy of my endometrial lining but he feels he can get a better biopsy in the hospital and I agree. I want to be asleep and not know what is going on. However, he flat out refused to do a hysterectomy for all these diseased parts.... idiot MEN!!
Oh Annie, they aren't worried about cervical cancer, and I know someone who had that, and it was NASTY! I think she told me that she had radation AND chemo, too! But, they are looking for endometrial cancer. Although this dr. doesn't "think" it is cancer.
Anyway, now I have to call my regular onc to see whether they will switch me from Tamoxifen which is causing all these issues to get worse, and my gyn onc 'thinks' I have a uterine polyp also. If they won't switch me without me getting a hyst., then I will INSIST that THEY speak to this guy and get together on my treatment plan, cause as I told the gyn onc yesterday, I am not a "wait and see" patient, and I WON'T go for all these stupid u/s and biopsies...
Thanks for thinking of me... I just can't seem to get a good dr., and well, I have ALWAYS had issues with GYNs and ONCs!!
Harley
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Hi Ladies, sneaking a quick peak here at work, the boss has me out and about driving today. While my truck is being unloaded thought I'd canvas the veteran rad queens ...
So did any of you have the burn go clear through to your backside? I questioned my doc today, asked about the red patch on my back, and was informed that its the exit beam causing the skin irritation. Oh Joy! I'll be soon just jumping into a tub of Aquaphor!!! 23 down, 12 to go ... I decided yesterday that golf this weekend is out, due to the tightness of my skin. I should still be able to walk though, right now the redness under my arm is not bothering me when I walk.
I'm pretty hyped for afterwork, getting this ala natural brown/gray hair colored back to what I've sported for the past 10+ years. Figure even though I have goofy cowlicks, I'll feel better looking in the mirror and not seeing the gray.
Hoping for some time to shout out tonight, my guilt of being on-line when the dh is home will just have to pass as he'll probably beat me home tonight. Until then, be well my friends ....
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Gosh Carol, I have NEVER heard of exit butns. Wow! That's a little scary, eh? If the Aquaphor is not doing the trick, ask if you can be given Biafine. It's wonderful stuff! It's a cream that's rubbed into the skin and it really kept my skin soft and flexible. I never burnt at all. It's worth asking about with 12 zaps still to go.
Hope that the hair coloring project turns out great toinght!
Annie, I don't blame you for waiting until your regular onc appointment. Why make more trips to the doctor than absolutely necessary. They are nerve-wracking enough without adding others. I see my onc the first week in August, too. I got smart this time. I'm going in the week before for the bloodwork so that I don't have to wait forever for the tumor-marker test results. My nerves won't take all that waiting....so I know where you are coming from, too, Harley.
I go tomorrow night for the Look Good Feel Good training. It's three hours. I'll let you know what it's like. I hope I'm cut out for this type of thing.
Gotta run. I'm having phone problems....no dial tone on the inside phones and yet the outside lines are testing good. YUCK! This is not my idea of fun!
Catch you later.
Rita
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Sorry you are having a rough time with your skin Carol. I did not have that reaction, but maybe some ladies on the rad threads can help you. We all handle these treatments so differently. At least you are more than half way through! I hope you can get some relief and some answers soon.
Thanks so much Annie and Rita for the cheers.
Rita, I'm so glad the vitamins are helping your foot.
Annie, I don't blame you at all. I think having some time off after your treatments ended is a good idea. This is darn scary and I'm hoping you can get the test soon, so that you can get some relief soon too. (((hugs))) and prayers.
Jill, glad you are experiencing the "chemo holiday" so now you know that you can feel much better in between. It is amazing how your blood counts can go up in between treatments. Your body is still repairing itself.
We have had lots of rain here in Ontario (Canada) too. The garden is so lush and big this year---love it! My purple cone flowers are already 4' tall!
Take care everyone,
Ginny
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Hi girls:
Harley sorry I got that wrong, it sounds like you are rarin to go and these men had better get with it! Go girl!
Carol, I have heard of exit burns, yeah, people can sometimes take a rads holiday as well. Did you ask about the suit thing they put you in that intensifies it? Perhaps a break from that? Feel better soon! Only 12 more, you are getting there my friend!
Rita, it's great the vitamins are helping your foot, I like how you find fixes for these things.
Jill, have fun with your little ones....they grow up soooo fast. I am enjoying this time too tho, it is very very rewarding to have the woman replace the child (tho I still miss the baby days too).
I am glad you are feeling a little better, and I know for me, during the "chemo holiday" I firmly went right on with my life on the advice and plan of Rita and Carol, and it worked well for me both psychologically and physically.
I hope I am not harming anything by taking a little break here, but screw it. My head has to be able to work, right? I need the break!
Rita, look good, feel good? Could you explain more, please, this sounds really neat! As soon as I get the all clear on the lung, I don't care what phase I am in, I am off to AMCS to see where I can help out. It's so exciting and empowering to help other women thru this crapola journey, isn't it?
Women/sisters are amazing, aren't we? Warrior goddesses all of you.
love and blessings to all of you
annie
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Hi gals!
It sounds like everyone is active and busy...enjoying each day to its fullest! Super!
Annie, I am definitely brain-damaged, I guess. I told you I was going to be trained for the Look Good Feel Good Program. I had just been trying to get some of the girls on the Illinois thread to sign up for that program. You might want to check it out yourself. The American Cancer Society sponsors it and they give you make-up, make-up tips, hair tips, and a wonderful bag filled with skin care products and make-up. However, that wasn't what I went to the training for. I went to be trained for the Reach to Recovery Program. This is a program where a newly diagnosed bc patient can call the cancer center and request to speak with a former bc patient who volunteers to help them through the journey or talk with them initially about their diagnosis. I volunteered to try to help somebody and you have a training session (3 hours) that you go through. It's quite interesting. I'm not that sure how popular the program is in our area so don't know how many calls I'll actually get. There are several volunteers and they try to match you with the patient according to age, diagnosis, types of treatment, etc. If I can be there for even one other gal it will have been worth the 3 hour training session. Besides, I learned so much about the other resources that are available in our area just for the asking.
Carol....hope your feet are doing O.K. now and that the skin is holding out for you. Did you learn any more about the exit burns or have any time to research it?
Harley, keep in touch! I'm really planning on coming east one of these summers to golf and I'm planning on looking you up!!!
So Annie, are you feeling pretty good now? You're due for a really good year!!!! You will know when you are ready to go back to thinking about all of this. Sometimes we just have to walk away from it for awhile and get revived! Hang in there, hon.
Julie in Chicago....how are you doing this time around? Check in and let us know.
Well, I need to get some work done around here. Our golf course is closed because they are having a special men's event there this week so it's forcing me to be more domestic......not one of my better traits! LOL
Catch you later.
Rita
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Hi Rita and all,
Day 14- next treatment is next Friday. I'm dread, dread, dreading it... For the present, feeling okay. Still lots of strange gurgling and stomach stuff going on. Try to ignore it for the most part. I have my appetite back- but it's strange. I think I like the idea of food better now, but a few bites into just about anything, I've lost interest. It's not even that it tastes bad-- it suddenly just seems an effort. That's the biggest lingering effect. Still have hair....some in the sink and shower- but I tend to shed a lot normally- so I'm honestly not sure what is what. I usually iron my hair straight, but have let it go back to its wavy mess. Add humidity and I look like i'm back in the 80s... And oh dear, that was not my best decade... cringe
I have a meeting with Onc on Tuesday to discuss how everything has been going. Want to find out more about the "kidney freeze" I seemed to experience after first treatment and adjusting the antiemetics.... Other than that...managing. Now starting to freak out about the surgery in late Sept. Consults coming up with both b. surgeon and plastic surgeon. Kind of feel like Prometheus some days....
My 6 yr old son is in "Pirate Camp" this week. Walking around the house replying "Arrgh" to everything. Asked if he could wear an eye patch. Funny kid.
More to come-- but thanks again for everyone's support both in this thread and privately.
-julie b.
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Oh Julie, how well I understand the "I do want to do the next treatment" scenario. I just visualized the CMF cocktail as a mass of little pacmen running through my body gobbling up any stray cancer cells. You have learned from this last treatment and this next one will probably be much easier on you. You have a whole week to recoup and enjoy your chemo holiday and your son. This is doable! You can do it! And as for your hair. You are lovely! I saw your picture on the Illinois thread and you'd be lovely with ANY kind of hair. I think we have the same problem with the natural curls. I finally quit fighting it and just got it layered. Now I just let the curls appear and I seldom have to do anything to my hair besides dry it. As long as I keep it fairly long, the weight of the hair seems to keep the curls manageable. I'm a complete disaster with short hair and this mass of curls. Since I was lucky enough to keep most of my hair I have decided that any day with hair is not a bad hair day. Some days are just better than others.
So enjoy this next week. Then march right in there and get that next treatment over with.........and we'll keep hoping for no side effects this time. None of my treatments were ever the same, except for the fact that if I was going to be sick, it was always the worst on the third or fourth day after the treatment, so you really don't know. This one might be really easy for you!
So glad to get a progress report from you!
Rita
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Hey everyone
Sorry if I am not posting these days. I am just having too much trouble with drs., and tests and biopsies. Just the thought of another cancer terrifies me, but I can't tell anyone, because my dh doesn't want to hear it and I upset him by voicing my concerns.
That gyn onc's office called me last night to see how my appt went...some routine 'courtesy' call. I gave them an earful about how I was concerned about the way that dr. was in such a rush to go on vacation, he kind of rushed me through, with a very blase' manner. Bleeding is not something to be concerned about?? Oh and here is a piece of advice for all... DO NOT go see a dr. if they are getting ready to go on vacation, because they will just rush right through everything.
So... the nurse called me last night when I was out at a neighbor's house, to try to get the phone number of my pharmacy, because the dr. put in a Rx for some Xanax so I don't go crazy waiting for yet another biopsy, and of course I am worried, because look how the only other biopsy I had turned out! I asked for this on Tuesday, and he patted me on the head and said "you don't need it!"
So the nurse was not too happy, when she called me this morning, to get my pharmacy info. She said that she was supposed to be off today, but she had to come in to take care of this Rx. She asked me if the dr. could call me, and I said 'ok, but I don't see the point.'
The dr. just called me and he said that I could see his partner...another MAN! He would try to get me in to see him while he is on vacation, but I told him no, since I'm sure that he is already fully booked. Anyway, dr. blase' said that he would get me an appt. for AUG. 11th, so I won't have to wait til Aug. 21st... still that is three weeks!
You may not hear from me much, because I am just going to try to stay away from everything cancer. Just thought I would update you.
Annie, no worries about the different type of cancer... I just don't really think that any cancer is something that we can say... that they are really nothing and all you need is surgery (a hysterectomy). If there is cancer, there is always the possibility of spreading and thus more tx required.
Rita, if I am still around, you are welcome to visit!! I would love to see you, and of course I would love to see ALL of you!
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Hi ladies, I am feeling so much more myself these days...it's amazing what a little holiday off of chemo will do for you and Harley, "all things cancer"....it helps alot!
Oh Julie, I know that feeling. I got thru by posting here and using Rita's pac man analogy. I really liked the idea of something helpful being done in my body and that when i felt crappy, it was the pac men doing their good work.
Unfortunately to me, stuff tasted good. I gained quite a bit! But with the taste of things, with nausea, with hair, write on your mirror "all this is temporary!!!" You will see that every day and it reminded me that it was, indeed, temporary. It almost was like being pregnant again, with the nausea, exhaustion and weird tastes to me. I adore your little pirate. Get the eye patch. Hey, my kid wore her princess gown and crown to the Waldbaum market! Being able to laugh in the middle of all this (for me it was Will Ferrell doing Robert Goulet that my daughter downloaded and sent) is the absolute best. It just takes alot of the sting out of it. My husband I watched alot of Craig Ferguson too. He's on very late so we taped it and we could count on one good laugh a day. That helped alot too.
Hair? Hm. Mine is nuts. Red/white/thick/thinning/whatever. I basically used the nioxxin like everyone says to, and it does work, along with I just let it do whatever it wanted to not to stress it. I didn't lose much maybe 25%. I have to go on the illinois thread and see you in person, if you have beautiful curly hair like Rita, I bet it won't even be noticeable if you lose a bit. Mine's all over the whole house, in my mouth, on the pillow, and we won't speak about drains. But there's still plenty on the head too. This too, is temporary, remember hon.
I told you I think that I had that "freeze" one or two times with the kidneys too. they did not seem unduly concerned, it went away on its own, and yeah it was steroids. A cup of coffee seemed to help the bladder spasms. They basically just said "oh those steroids" and adjusted the doseage.
I hope for you that the next treatment surprises you with being easier, mine seemed to level off about #4 and then they were tolerable, and i knew what to expect. Cook ahead, or get take out and this too, shall pass, and you will be done my dear.
Harley, you've had a time with these drs., I am sorry! Here's hoping one of them turns out to be a keeper and more sympathetic to your concerns!
Carol, hope all is well, and you are not crisping up too much. Keep that aquaphor coming!
Rita, you sound great! Not brain damaged at all, you just have alot of people you are caring for and keeping spirits up for! I think that program sounds awesome, and so does the reach to recovery. I agree with you, if I can help even one single woman thru this somehow, it will have been worth it. for me, it feels like a moral responsibility, or a payback time, as somehow, despite the crap that has happened, instead of seeing myself as "oh poor me, I've had this twice" I persist in believing and always will, that I am the world's luckiest woman as I have now dodged this bullet twice! Both times caught in plenty of time, (well, not for the boob, but ah so what, foob work fine) and both times at a cureable stage. This is the great perspective being a two timer gave me.
Now if I can just be this lucky with the lung..........there will be nothing that can stop me helping others as i have been so helped with all of you. thank you one and all, you fantastic and caring women.
(I know I must address the lung, but am going to enjoy my little mini break while I can. I will address it, but I must put myself back together a bit first. It is nice.)
love to all of my warrior goddesses, you are all beautiful, strong women.
annie
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Rita,
I did the Look Good Feel Better seminar and it was really quite fun! The free makeup was great, too!
Annie,
I am thinking of you, and praying that the lung issue is really nothing, as I'm sure it will turn out to be nothing.
I just got a call from a friend. Her husband has been very sick, and he was admitted to the hospital and has been there for about a week. I haven't been able to contact my friend all week, but have been trying to leave messages on her answering machine, just to let her know I'm thinking about her. She thought that he may have parathyroid disease, because his blood calcium levels were high, but when she called me tonight, it is not so. He has wide spread cancer, and she didn't even say what kind he had, only that it is very late stage. I am SO sad about this, I just hate this disease! It is not fair that so many people are struck down by cancer!
Every time I start to feel down, and feel sorry for myself, GOD shows me someone who is going through a much worse ordeal. I know that Elaine loves Ron very much, and I just can't even know what she is going through right now, with him in the hospital, and knowing that he won't get better.
I am thanking GOD that I found my bc early and the tx went fairly easily for me. And even this new bump in the road, with the endometrial biopsy is probably fairly easy to treat, but I don't want to even think that far ahead. I have been running in circles, just trying to get the darn tests scheduled, and I have been driving myself crazy with the 'what ifs'.
Thanks for letting me vent. You all are such very strong, brave, beautiful women, and I am honored to be in this group.
HUGS to all! Have a wonderful weekend!
HarleyHarley
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Harley, you are so right! There always seems to be others who are worse off than we are if we really look around us. That really puts our journey into perspective, doesn't it? Hang in there. You are due for good things to come to your way.
Annie, I think you'd be great at helping others. You are a true inspiration to me. And you do need to take a peak at Julie Chicago on the Illinois thread under Help Me Make it Through Treatment. She's a doll!!!! Hey, we have quite a few good looking CMF gals on this thread! LOL
I'm off to mow! The sun is shining and I can't golf because of a special event for men that has been going on at the club so I might as well get those little jobs done that I've been putting off around this place.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. How you doing, Carol?
Rita
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Hi ladies,
Just wanted to let you know that I AM DANCIN WITH NED!!! This is huge for me being it is the first clean scans that I have had in 3 years!! Thank god for CMF!! It feels like I'm almost a brand new person. A huge rock has been lifted and I can start living again. Thank you all so much for your positive thoughts and prayers.
Jill
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