how about drinking?
Comments
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NM, I’m so sorry. DH and have had to say goodbye to 7 over the past 25 years and it is the absolute worst pain, even now, years later, the grief is unreal. I’ll have a drink tonight in Sadie’s honor, to a life well lived and well loved.
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OMG - NM - I am soooo sorry to hear about Sadie. I admire your decision even though it will mean loneliness for you. And what a crappy time of year. You are entitled to drink all day - or even all weekend - and re-live wonderful memories.
And your Mom!!! I agree with Jazzy. You HAVE to step away. Even just to tell her "I can't talk right now" if she calls & hang up & don't return the calls. She'll leave a message if it's critical. I understand she's older & probably lonely, but she's TOXIC and you don't need that now. For 40 years I cried after every single phone call with my Mother - so believe me I know what I'm talking about. Take some time. Build up some defenses. And next time you see her or speak with her, when she starts in just say 'I'm not going to listen to this or talk about this' and hang up or walk out. You can add 'I'll check with you later after you calm down' if that makes you feel less guilty.
Holding you in my thoughts!!!
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Oh, Kim, so sorry about losing sweet Sadie. 13 is quite a ripe old age for a dog, especially a larger one--but that doesn't make the grief easier to bear. You did the right thing by not letting her suffer.
Your mom is a piece of work--that's all I can say. Some people never do "get" pets. Hugs.
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Kim, feeling with you and for you. We had to put down a 13 year old dog just a few weeks ago. He'd been going slowly downhill for about three years and finally had a stroke. Sadie was such a big part of your life, please feel free to grieve your loss as suits you, no matter what your mother or anyone else says! Sending hugs and good doggie thoughts your way. Take care of yourself, too.
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Oh Kim! I am soooo sorry! I know how you feel.... DAMN! After we had to put our little Lacee Jayne to sleep I don't want to ever go through that again.... it hurts just too much.... She was our little Sheltie.... i still want to cry when i think of her, or see some of her 'stuff'... She had kidney problems also.... i used to take her up to the Vet every day for about a week for IV's of something.... it's just too hard.... I wanted to cry when you posted....
She was about 13 also.... heart-breaking.... We have her ashes, and a memory book, and she is my screen-saver...Janie came over today, with McDonald's and we just wanted to visit.....
Sometimes i think Mom's aren't thinking straight, and we try and make everything better, and sometimes they seem to be just off on their own.... I realized this with my Grandma & my Mom.... they kind of say things that they are thinking, and it might hurt..... But they aren't thinking straight.... And sometimes you would just like to shove them out of the car.... but you would get into trouble for that....
You just have to 'remove' yourself from their hurtful conversations.... and stop and get a chocolate coke on the way home. Nothing else you can do....
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Oh Kim, So sorry for you loss.
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NM my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear Sadie. As others have said grieve as you need to and handle your mom in whatever way you need to. I've admired your maturity handling her in past situations and you will do the right thing. Life can be hard. 🐾
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NativeMaine: so sorry to hear about your sweet pet. after our Beans died I had his picture tattooed on my arm. Pets arefamily
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Oh NM, your post broke my heart. Not something we saw coming. I'm so sorry and wish I could give you a real hug. Sadie will be missed by all of us. Hopefully she's up there over the Rainbow Bridge frolicking around with Snooky and all your other fur babies. Snooky is the only one I know of. And of course you did the right thing, altho very hard. I'm also sorry for your mom's reaction, not a very response to you after what you just had to do. I hope you are able to let that go. Can we chalk up to age? Take some time from here if you need to, but not too long cuz we'll miss you!
Jazzy, nonsense indeed.
Minus, great advice to NM re her mom. Just walk away, don't answer the phone. I'm so sorry you had such a hard time for 40 years with your mom. That's a long time to put up with hurt, I'm assuming it was hurt.
Sandy, I don't have any animals, but always did before my current husband and growing up as a child. But you're right, some people don't get it. My DH has never had a pet.
Beaver, sorry about the loss of your baby too. Our pets are part of the family.
ED, you are so sweet and funny! "And sometimes you would just like to shove them out of the car.... but you would get into trouble for that." I'm sure you had a nice visit with your DD.
Misty, Reader, good morning.
KID, sweet that you got the tatoo. I don't have any of those.
Didn't get too much done outside yesterday, due to company. I did finish one section of Irises, what a job. It was time to dig up, separate and replant. I have 2 more to do!
DOTD: Rainbow Paradise.
Ingredients
1 oz. grenadine
1 c. crushed ice
4 oz. Hy-Vee 100% no-sugar-added pineapple juice, chilled
2 oz. coconut-flavored rum
1 oz. water
½ oz. blue curacao
Orange slice, for garnish
Directions
Step1
Add grenadine to a 12-oz. hurricane glass. Fill glass with ice.
Step2
Combine pineapple juice and coconut rum in a glass measuring cup; slowly pour mixture over ice in glass.
Step3
Combine water and blue curacao and slowly pour over pineapple-rum layer. Garnish with an orange slice, if desired.DOTD: Rainbow Paradise.
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NM,
My heart aches for you. I feel I have come to know Sadie and her silly antics through your stories and across the miles. As we all know here, grief is complicated. Give yourself the grace to grieve for however long and in any way you want without judgement. Our hearts are breaking with yours.
Be well,
Jane
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Kim - sending you great big hugs. Our fur babies are family and the loss is hard. I hear your heart breaking. I will miss hearing Silly Sadie shenanigans.
Chevy - I see the same thing on your post as Lori does for the photo - small gray circle with line through it. Yup Highlands used to just be N. Denver.
Jazzy and Chevy - would you please message me (here) your facebook names. Anyone else too. Would appreciate see your posts.
Lori - my SIL spent 2 nights in the hospital this past week. He is exhausted by the end of the day. And so frustrated that it is taking so long to recover. Any other time he has been in the hospital he came home feeling good. It's going to be long recovery. My poor DD#1 is so tired of it all - it's wearing on her - she is a great care taker. Plus her hours at worked just increased form 1/2 time to full-time. It's good for her to be busy and the $ is also helpful.
Well, I'm on a new page and don't remember some of the other posts so I'll wish everyone a good Sunday.
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Okay Karen... I am Jeannette Malone Scarpello on FB! Been on since 2016 i think... hah! My maiden name was Malone....
I'd LOVE to see you all on FB! Still thinking of you Kim..... love you all.....
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NativeMaine , very sorry to hear of your loss. Our pets are so loved.
A little funny story about my cat tattoo, our cat was named Mr. Beans. I took a picture of him to the tattoo place. the girl did his face growing out of a bean seed. Well, the bean seed ended up looking like "lady parts". I went back and now he is growing out of a planter. Sorry I never have a drink on offer. I'm strictly Blue Light beer drinker.
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Looks like I wrote but didn't post yesterday, so here's for Sunday:
Morning, Loungettes!Happy Sunday Funday to everyone, and forgive me for not having a lot of fun today. Things are better today than yesterday, but I'm not going to try to pretend everything is fine until tomorrow. The house feels wrong without Sadie. I'm still waiting for her cold, wet nose nudge under my arm asking for petting with one hand while I type with the other. Just threw away the last bite of the weekend breakfast danish that I always saved for her, and that made me cry. It's the little things that hit the hardest. Thanks for letting me babble on about that and Mom's normal self-centeredness, I just could not handle being responsible for her happiness or unhappiness with life yesterday. She's driven all her friends away with her negativity and thinks they are all doing it to her on purpose to hurt her. Maybe she does have dementia and that's why the paranoia and egocentrism is getting worse. Or maybe I just need to be mad and she's a handy target.
And now I'm crying because this is the place where I tell everyone Sadie says Hi. I would always look at her and tell her I was doing that and remind her who all the extra belly rubs come from.
Jazzy--thanks, and I am going to step away from Mom for a while. When she needs something done, she'll call me, her neighbor will let me know if anything happens to her in the meantime. I just never realized how totally self-centered she had gotten.
Illi--Sadie is my 5th. I know the grief will never go away, but it will get easier to cope with. I'm pretty sure she knew she was well loved, I hope she had a good life with me.
Minus--I did drink all afternoon and evening, and there's still some left in the bottle. I'll finish the bottle today, may even open a second, and go back to being a functional adult tomorrow. Thanks for adding support to my stepping away from Mom for a while.Crying after every phone call for 40 years? Your situation with your mom must have been so much worse, and so horrible. I do struggle with guilt whenever I try to limit things with Mom , she always seems to be able to turn things around so it's whatever I'm doing that bad and hurtful to her. I really do need to build up some defenses. Any tips or advice on how to do that?
Chi--thank you. I've known for a year or so that we were getting into serious senior dog territory, but it was always something that was still a ways off. I keep comforting myself with thinking of her, along with the other pups I've loved, happy and pain-free on the Rainbow Bridge, maybe with my Dad coming over to visit and play with them once in a while.
Beaver--thank you for telling me it's ok to grieve. And for the hugs. I'm sorry for your loss.
Chevy--I have lots of pictures of Sadie that I keep going back and looking at, and in all of them she seems happy, I'm holding on to that. I opted not to keep her ashes, I prefer the pictures, but the Vet's office is going to send me a memorial paw print. Maybe I'll make a collage of pics around the paw print when it comes. Mom really has gotten off into a world of her own, and it's gotten a lot worse since moving into her own place. The "my son won't speak to me, my daughter won't let me visit, none of my friends ever call or visit anymore, so if I get sick just let me die, life isn't worth living" was just a slap in the face coming right after leaving the vet's and bringing in the stuff she left in my car and the spaghetti squash that she likes so well that I picked up at the farmer's market, and then her complaining to me about the vacuum cleaner I ordered for her a couple of weeks ago not being delivered yet.I used to come home from visits with mom and cry on Sadie's shoulder, or cuddle with her while I ranted and raved, she kept me sane with all Mom's craziness.
Misty--thank you.
Reader--thanks for the vote of confidence.
KID--what a sweet way to memorialize your Beans! Pets are family, indeed.
Goldie--I'm not going to take any time from here, this is where I can talk about Sadie and Mom safely and be listened to. I do so hope the Rainbow Bridge is real. I've got to do some hard thinking about how to handle mom going forward. I've got to find a balance between being the only one in the family that's close enough to help with physical things (a need increasing steadily) and her holding me responsible for her happiness or unhappiness.
Oh, my goodness, that Rainbow Paradise looks and sounds so nice!
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Good Morning, Loungettes!Welcome to a messy Monday morning. Got some snow/sleet coming down that's supposed to change over to rain pretty soon, temps up to 50's before dropping back to the 20's this evening. Welcome to winter!
There was another person testing positive at the sister school over the weekend, family member of one of my students, so lots of emails to sort that situation out. Fortunately, no more quarantines at my school, but the sister school now has an entire room in quarantine. All this mess is coming out one day care center and a Y sorts program. Which was predictable, children known to have positive tests or to be in quarantine have been regularly attending both for weeks now. It was just a matter of time. And this week is the when the Thanksgiving travel and exposure effects will hit, and I expect they will hit hard. At least two families that I know of who were in isolation or quarantine traveled and a couple more attended large family gatherings, the effects are already starting to be seen.
Thank you to everyone for the sympathy and well wishes. It really helps to have someplace to go, someone(s) to talk to who understand and don't judge.
Jhl--thank you. I let myself feel the grief and cry any time over the weekend, and it doesn't feel quite so raw today. Going back to work will help, concentrating on work will help and the work people are mostly pet people, too, so there will be a lot of understanding if someone catches me leaking from the eyes. I love sharing her antics and the fun we had.
Karen--love the "Silly Sadie Shenanigans" phrase! Thank you. A lot of people aren't aware of the long recovery time many people have from COVID. People think it's like a cold, but it's not, it's more like the flu with sometimes weeks of feeling lousy afterward, and some people getting "long COVID" and having fatigue and weakness and cough for months. It's hard to deal with. Glad your DD#1 has more work and more income (and maybe benefits?). That's always helpful.
KID--love the tattoo story! And there is nothing wrong with not posting DOTD, and nothing wrong with be dedicated to a single drink, or even not a drinker at all! My Wednesday, Women and Wine group has one member who only drinks beer, never anything else. It's not about the drinking, it's about the camaraderie.
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Dear Kim! I know how you feel! Being around negative people is so hard to deal with sometimes.... But they really can't help it, and they need someone to "control" and they are just playing the part. So when this happens around here, I can either go out the door, slamming it on my way, yell back, stomp in the other room, saying a few choice words, or stand by the sink shaking... hah! Just give it all a break for awhile.... and don't let it get to you..... And thank God you don't have to live together....
But then, since we have to live together, (and i wouldn't have it any other way) things just sort of cool down, like nothing ever happened! Sometimes it's like a comedy of errors! And I realize that and I just let it go. Cause it'll happen again in a few hours.... hah!
It's okay to cry little Kim.... Sadie knows how much you loved her..... because she loved you just the same. We give them unconditional love..... just like they give us! I have so many pictures of Lacee in her own special album.... she just "knows".
Just plain cold here this morning! 22 degrees! Still no rain or snow.... hopefully we will get SOME moisture next week...
Sometimes we just have to come here, to get our minds off of stuff that either hurt or make us mad.... and to see if any others have any idea's on how to not go stark raving mad! It's like this is our "life-line" ..... to keep us from banging our heads against the wall. Love you all.
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ED, you really should not post your full real real name here. This is public, anyone can see it. A first name is ok, but I wouldn't put my full name here. You can go back and edit your post and remove it.
Karen, those poor kids have sure gone through a lot. I'm so sorry SIL ended up back in the hospital, poor guy. Hopefully the extra work for your DD will be a good thing, in many ways.
I too liked the phrase "Silly Sadie Shenanigans".
KID, cute tattoo story. Our little lounge here, The Hot Tatties Lounge, started many many years ago with many other gals that no longer post here. We named the lounge, got us Tattie Tenders (bar tenders), many amenaties, and decided to post what we called the Drink of the Day. One drink a day for everyone in the lounge to enjoy, and usually have it named after something that has come up in the conversation. I too am a beer drinker.
NM, memories a good thing. And don't you think for one minute that Sadie might not have known you loved her. Of course she did, and vice versa.
Do cry, do grieve. I remember someone telling us that crying is good for you, releases endorphins. Hmmmm, I wonder who that could have been. I think she was a nurse! Glad you aren't taking a break from here, I know first hand how we use the gals here for support and to rant to. As for your mom, I have no suggestions, but at least you know it's not just you and that's just the way she is. Was she always like that? Is your brother not talking to her? Can you talk to him about it?
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NM - sometimes we don't know what family is really like until we are having a bad day. Your mom may have things going on like depression, dementia etc. It's best to not take things personally because what other people do have more to do with them than us. Continue to take care of yourself.We love you and care ❤️
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NM, I read your news about Sadie last night and almost burst into tears. Please know that all of us here are thinking of you as you grieve her loss. I loved reading about her antics and it was clear that she was so smart and loving. I know you did what was best for her. It is HARD to lose an animal family member. They hear our best and worst thoughts, with no judgment and pure love.
I'm also sorry to hear that your mom has been at her worst when you needed her support the most. She reminds me very much of my own mother, and I think I failed to recognize her dementia sooner because she always had been so difficult. The manipulation was always there, and it did not stop when the dementia started.My brother once called and asked me if I could call her every once in a while, because he was tired of hearing about how she never heard from me. At that time, I was calling her every day! This was before her dementia, so it was hard to know when she switched from making things up to get attention, to truly not remembering when I called. I agree with everyone who suggested you step back for a bit, and I am glad to hear you are going to do that. You just don't need the negativity right now.
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Hey NM, I am so so beery sorry for your loss. Sadie and I have hung out a few times and I'm sending a DOTD for the two ob us. If you like, I can come stay wif you for lil bit. I pwomise not to be a pwoblem. I gib you many many hugs. I will miss Sadie a bunch. I have some magical powers and I will gib her lots and lots of belly rubs, and tell her those are fwom you, k?
My DOTD for tomorrow
Sadie and Stella, what else!
The Sadie {SAPPHIRE RASPBERRY MINT COCKTAIL}
INGREDIENTS
- 1 ½ part(s) Bombay Sapphire Gin
- 1 dash(es) Simple Syrup
- Club Soda
- 5 Raspberries
- 4 Mint Leaves
- ½ Lemon
- DIRECTIONS
In a tall glass, muddle the raspberries and mint leaves. Fill the glass with ice and squeeze in the juice from half a lemon. Add simple syrup and BOMBAY SAPPHIRE Gin and mix thoroughly. Top with club soda or lemon-lime soda. Garnish with a sprig of mint.
The Stella {STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE}
INGREDIENTS
- 1 tablespoon sweetened strawberry puree
- 6 ounces champagne
DIRECTIONS
In champagne flutes pour in strawberry puree. Pour champagne over it to blend. It should have a pink blush to it.
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Good Morning, Loungettes!Happy Twofer Tuesday! Yesterday was a bit difficult to get through, but more for COVID crap than missing Sadie.Pool testing will be interesting with almost half the school in quarantine.
Yesterday ayem's weather was wintery where I live (more inland from the school) and the icy road caught several big trucks on the interstate, they wound up jack-knifed half in the road and half in the median or off the side of the road and closing down the interstate for several hours. It warmed up enough by the drive home that I was dealing with fog more than anything else, though.
Chevy--thanks, I needed the reminder that behavior isn't always in the person's control. I know it's much harder when you live with someone, at least I have that. The HTL really is a life-line for me sometimes, and now is one of those times.
Goldie--Mom has always been like this, although it's more intense since moving into her own place. Brother is not not talking to Mom. He got tired of all the negativity and her going on about how he never calls when he'd been calling and not getting through, or her not remembering he called, so he had her set a day/time that he would call every week. Every time he called, at the day/time she chose, Mom was too busy to talk on the phone or had something else going on. He told her to call him back when she had time, she doesn't (or chooses not to) remember that and won't call him because he won't call her. Kid brother is not a telephone talker, he'd much rather text or email, but Mom's phone and laptop are rarely working correctly so she doesn't get messages, texts, or emails. She gets them fixed, and then plays around with the settings and screws everything up. Hmmm. Maybe it's time I arranged for a landline phone in her place.
Jazzy--I've been thinking she has depression or early dementia or Adult ADD, or something. It's hard not to take what she says personally when she starts out with "Do you know how it makes me feel when you (don't call every day, don't answer my calls, don't visit every weekend, don't email every day, let yourself in when I'm not home when I asked to pick up and deliver something or help fix something or get something down from a shelf she can't reach or find something she's lost)" or "It's so embarrassing when I tell my friends how you (never call or visit, don't run errands, just let yourself in when I'm not home, etc). BUT, I do need to stop taking things personally and concentrate on how hard it is for her to be alone and have physical limitations, and how she may not live to be almost 100 like her mother did.
SuQu--Thank you. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe Mom does have some dementia coming on, and she's had depression in the past. But I can't take on trying to figure that out right now. Maybe after Christmas. I just need a break.
Stella--oh, sweetie, thank you so much for using your magical powers to give Sadie the belly rubs she loves so much for me! Tell her I love her and miss her and I'm sorry I didn't see she was in pain sooner. The DsOTD are wonderful! Now I have a good reason to go out and get some good gin.
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NM- your mom badmouthing you to her friends is not cool. My mother used to do that too when I was not her beck and call. Its meant to shame you, like you are a little girl who didn't put away your toys or clean your room. When my mother used to tell me things she said to her friends, I would politely say her friends opinion of me meant nothing to me. Ha, that stopped her in her tracks. My mother always cared about what everyone else thought, and most of the rest of us didn't.
And most mothers can't let their adult daughters be adults either. Your brother has obviously figured this out too and taking care of himself with his health changes. As parents age, these behaviors exacerbate too.
You keep doing your thing and talk to her when you are ready. It's not all about her all the time,.....
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Well, well, well, looked who pooped in. If it isn't Stella. Hi Stella, and that is "beery" sweet of you. And of course you would find a drink in YOUR name! Both drinks look great.
NM, half of your school is in quarantine? Next week will indeed be interesting. When you started talking about the weather and the jackknifed trucks, I thought you were going to say you got in an accident. So thankful that was not the case! My heart was in my throat. I'm pretty sure you stay off the freeway when weather is bad? Again, I'm sorry about your mom. I guess if she's always been like that, it makes it even harder to try and be understanding of her situation. How is Dick doing btw? Was she like that with him?
Jazzy, you seem to always have the right things to say. I imagine you will be getting the same cold weather as us?
I got another patch of Iris's dug up and trimmed, now today I have to get them planted. This patch looked kind of pitiful, like it didn't get enough water. So I'll have to pay more attention to it in the spring. So I did a real stupid thing yesterday. Living off grid, you have to do things differently. Our hot water is on demand, so it takes time for that water to run through the pipes and come out the faucet. So I catch that water and use it for something else, coffee, plants, heat it up for dishes, etc. Well if I heat it, I use up my propane. So I will pour it into the coffee pot and run it. Well yesterday I did that but forgot to put the pot on it! So I got a full pot of water that ran out all on top of my counter! We have a cold front moving in, Friday night low is 9 degrees.
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I'm sorry to hear so many of us have/had similar mothers. My mother also told people from my hometown (her friends, my old friends) that I never called or visited. At some point, I decided it was pretty bad if, knowing me, they chose to believe her!
One of the more bizarre conversations with my mother occurred when I called to wish her happy birthday shortly after my double mastectomy, which included a midnight trip back to the OR for bleeding, and my re-excision surgery (three surgeries). By her birthday, she knew everything that had occurred and I had tried to explain that the lat flap required additional recovery too. She was very angry that I had not gone to see her for her birthday, so, knowing she had a bit of dementia, I tried to explain again why I could not come visit her. “Everybody has problems," was her dismissive response, like I had the sniffles or something.
NM, you cannot “win," so I am glad you are taking this break from the negativity. We are here in full support! Treat yourself to whatever makes you happy- Sadie would fully approve. I'm going to try that gin cocktail too- sounds good.
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Well, well, well, looked who pooped in. If it isn't Stella. Hi Stella, and that is "beery" sweet of you. And of course you would find a drink in YOUR name! Both drinks look great.
NM, half of your school is in quarantine? Next week will indeed be interesting. When you started talking about the weather and the jackknifed trucks, I thought you were going to say you got in an accident. So thankful that was not the case! My heart was in my throat. I'm pretty sure you stay off the freeway when weather is bad? Again, I'm sorry about your mom. I guess if she's always been like that, it makes it even harder to try and be understanding of her situation. How is Dick doing btw? Was she like that with him?
Jazzy, you seem to always have the right things to say. I imagine you will be getting the same cold weather as us?
I got another patch of Iris's dug up and trimmed, now today I have to get them planted. This patch looked kind of pitiful, like it didn't get enough water. So I'll have to pay more attention to it in the spring. So I did a real stupid thing yesterday. Living off grid, you have to do things differently. Our hot water is on demand, so it takes time for that water to run through the pipes and come out the faucet. So I catch that water and use it for something else, coffee, plants, heat it up for dishes, etc. Well if I heat it, I use up my propane. So I will pour it into the coffee pot and run it. Well yesterday I did that but forgot to put the pot on it! So I got a full pot of water that ran out all on top of my counter! We have a cold front moving in, Friday night low is 9 degrees.
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Good Morning, Loungettes!Happy Hump Day!Did the pool testing thing yesterday at school, the swabs have been received at the lab in Mass, now the waiting on results begins. Nerve-wracking, this part. My school has kiddos out in quarantine from 3 different exposure sources, only one is an in-school exposure.
Looks like we're getting some snow this afternoon and overnight. Not supposed to amount to much, though.
I really miss Silly Sadie. It's less overwhelming, but I still said for her to be a good girl, watch the house and I'll be home this afternoon, shouldn't be late as I left yesterday morning, and came home looking for her to come over for the Your Home cuddle.
Mom called last night, she's all excited about finally getting an appointment for her booster shot with the Moderna vaccine and not having to stand in line (hard for her due to arthritis in her spine), and to tell me the vacuum cleaner I bought for her hasn't arrived yet, she's already thrown out the vacuum cleaner that wasn't working, and her friends are going to think she doesn't know how to keep house if they stop by and see all the dirt on the floor and rug.It's coming from Amazon and it's been delayed, which happens from time to time and not unexpected this time of year, but she got it in her head that it would arrive the day after Thanksgiving (last week, this week she's got it in her head I ordered in on Thanksgiving Day and should have arrived the Monday after Thanksgiving. I actually ordered it a few days before TG). It's in transit, it will arrive when it arrives. And, yes, I know I should take a break from her calls and such, but if I don't answer her calls for a couple of days she gets freaked out that I've died or something and will call the Sherriff's office and have them send an officer out in the middle of the night. I am keeping the calls short for now, no more hour long rambling calls for now.
Jazzy--Yeah, mom's telling everything to her friends isn't cool, and is why neither my brother nor I tell her much about our health issues. All the details will be all over the neighborhood in no time. I think she does it to get attention. She really can't let me be an adult. And you have a point, she is trying to shame me (and it's been working) by talking about how embarrassing it is for her when her friends find out about my housekeeping, or whatever, when all she has to do is not say anything. And one of these days, I'm going to say that out loud and there will be one big blow up. Maybe it's time for that to happen.
SuQu--for the longest time I've been saying Mom doesn't have dementia--she is terrified of getting dementia--but hearing how many other mom's are behaving like she is also have dementia is making me wonder. I know she has untreated depression and that can create behavioral issues, but I wonder if I haven't let myself see the possibility of dementia. Thanks for the support on taking a break from the negativity.
Goldie--I do stay off the interstate in bad weather since getting caught up in the pile up a few years back. Also, I was already at work when the accidents happened. The school is on the coast, so more rain, less snow, generally warmer than the more inland area where I live, which is also in a microclimate "snow belt," where other places get rain, I'll often get snow.
Dick is declining fairly quickly now. He's had a couple of falls, and more confused about time and other things. She was not so intense as she is now when she was with Dick, or when Dad was alive. She did get this bad after Dad died and before she moved in with Dick, but she may have been more focused on them than me and my brother. OH NO, all that water all over the counter! That's quite the cold front coming in. I imagine I'll be seeing that kind of temp drop here soon.
How to make Ranch Water
There's really no science to Ranch Water! Because it was a word-of-mouth cocktail for so long, it's more about vibe than anything. Really, you can use as much lime, tequila, and soda water as you'd like. Keep those bubbles on hand to refresh your drink, when you need it. Here's the art to making Ranch Water:
- Place 2 shots of tequila in a glass (3 ounces).
- Mix in the juice of 1 lime (that's about 1 ½ ounces).
- Fill the glass with ice and top it off with Topo Chico (about ½ cup).
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Sunday afternoon the temperature dropped over 30 degrees in 1/2?hour. Went from 60s to a low Monday morning of 11. Slowly warming up through today. Possibly snow tomorrow after now snow for 231 days. Not wuite a record (235 days). Only need 1/8” to count
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NM, of course you really miss Sadie, but I'm glad to hear it's a little less overwhelming. When will you get the covid results for the kids? Good idea to keep your calls short with mom. And I think it would be a good idea for you to say something to her, that way if she gets mad, it will be her that would need to make the next move. I just don't know about doing it right now, after losing Sadie and Xmas right around the corner. Oh dear, she would really call the Sherriff? Sorry to hear about Dick.
Karen, that's a big drop!
Uneventful day yesterday. Got the Iris done that I was working on, have one more to do, plus all the other stuff that needs to be cut back! Have to go next Wed. for my infusion, but also taking DH for his appt., staying the night as I have to go for an ECHO. I'm probably going to need a half hour or more just to get hubby ready, and him and everything else out to the car. Need to leave by 6:30 am. But I must say, since I laid into him about his neg. BS, things have been really good.
Saw this on FB, thought it was cute.
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Morning gals! You know, sometimes I think there are all kinds of memory/cognitive issues, other than what we are familiar with. There was my Grandma, and how she changed after her heart-attack... She became less bossy, friendlier, and sweeter, and accepting! She didn't know what was going on, but went along with it, and all the changes that were happening. I could sit down and talk to her, and she was not controlling as she had always been!
And here at home, things are okay, because I guess I am getting used to everything that is different! it's not just the forgetfulness, it's also the needed assistance ... like getting clothes on the right way, shoes matching, and hair combed, and trying to help him remember who our kids are, and our grand-kids.
And we don't argue... because it doesn't matter I guess, and i just have to steer conversations into familiar topics. So we just have to learn how to cope with these differences!
Thank God I am learning to accept these every-day changes! I can help more, and not be resentful.... right? I can deal with little paranoia things, and not get upset at the little things.
Our Doc & I ARE cutting back on the pills he was taking for 'depression' for the last 4 months.... because they could be causing the bad digestive/stomach issues, and dry mouth! And I am the one giving him his pills.... and when they are needed.... So hopefully a few good things will happen!
I think your Mom just wants to stay in control Kim.... maybe she feels like she needs to be because she is "the Mom'.... not as much memory issues, but maybe she is afraid things are going on & she can't control them.,,, And no it's not okay that she has to tell-all to everyone else.... but the personalities that we used to know, sometimes just head a different way, and we can't change that.
When things got too tough to handle sometimes with my Grandma, I just drove home, stopped and got a chocolate coke, and did my best to forget about all that happened, and went back again the next day.
Okay, since I'm probably older than any of you, that's my "Mom' talk...
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NM- you are keeping the boundaries up in a good way with your mom. I always say with high maintenance people (and I have a few), that texting or e-mail is the best, but per your back story, not something you can do with your mom. I am glad you are finding your way through, and taking care of yourself in the process.
Goldie- it is not cold here yet but cooling down as the week continues. We may get some moisture tomorrow and Friday, snow up top, rain down here. We are hopeful!
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