TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
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Here's an idea...instead of spending time leveling accusations against one another, let's spend our time doing something good for our communities (charity work, etc.) Cancer has already taken up too much of my life, and I'll be damned if I spend a minute on these petty catfights. I'll find my support elsewhere.
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Anyone want to give a sister a hand this morning??? I am heading to my PCP this morning to talk about the questions we still have about my scans. I am trying to get brave enough to tell them I want "off the band-wagon"....no more tests, no more scaring the crap out of me about funky nodes. Maybe it sounds like putting my head in the sand, but I truly don't want to do this anymore. What scares me is that I still have so much pain we can't figure out....is it Rads dammage, a wierd case of shingles, exercise induced muscle problems, a new autoimmune response???? No one can give me an answer. I am tired of hurting and not sleeping. I am tired of going to the docs. I am just tired.....
Deb C
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Shit....should have read back....nevermind...
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Boo Sue: Thank you for your kindness. I also take Neurontin and it's a med that you work up to a good dosage that you can handle that hopefully will help you with your pain even more.
Bren: What does magnimonious mean?
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Is Neurontin a scrip or over the counter?
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Ok guys like I said Tami and Melissa notified me yesterday and I gave them as much info as I knew........I still feel like there is an outside force here but haven knows I could be wrong.........I am sure that the mods will get things under control............but you know guys when the doc told me I was losing my eyesight the thoughts that came rushing into my mind I just couldn't stop.......if I do somehow survive bc and I live long enough to be a grandma and now I won't be able to "see" my grandchild...........I love my kids but I was starting to look forward to being able to go to the grocery store not having to buy "cheezits" or being able to cook shrimp in my home without my youngest making snide remarks........today I feel lost..........how am I going to get to the store and how in the hell am I going to know if I pick up cheezits or not??????? I don't won't to live with my children......I want a few years to myself...........sorry I just feel a bit spooked............I am a true pessimist.........raised by pessimists..........believe me I always expect the worse I just was not expecting this...........Shokk
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Deb: I'm holding your hand. Sorry for the BS.
Gus and Jas: well said
Bren: your sweet facade makes you one very dangerous person on this board
Shokk: I hope you know I accepted your apology because you made one to me and I understood why. We discussed the situation as adults should. I honestly don't know what Bren is talking about. It doesn't matter, I'm leaving here now. I'm not here for the BS and I don't think you are either.
Jas: Neurontin is a prescription med used for many purposes but I think it's main use is for epilepsy. It's also used for neuropathy and some prescribe it just to help with easing hot flashes.
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((((DebC))))) I will go to your doc and ask those questions.....and you can go to the grocery store for me and pick out a nice imported cracker for me..........I want off this ride too..........I am so sick of being sick and scared.........Shokk
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Shokk -- please come join us on the Beach thread. We are here to support you. Hugs.
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Jas I am really sorry about yesterday..........I just want you to know that............Shokk
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Shokk -- I do know that sweet sister. Its all good. Gentle hugs.
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Beachers I do appreciate the offer but I think I am going to stick with Vickie and the dreamers thread.......and if it's ok with Gina I would like to return to the Hampton's.......I really thought that since bc.org went through the change I really am having trouble reading here and the Hampton's are so much easier on my eyes........but maybe we can meet here on neutral ground.........let's just remember whom our true enemy is and that is breast cancer......for all of us.............Shokk
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I remember from Sunday School learning this Biblical commandment: v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, "to love your fellow as yourself." I try to practice that every day. Let level heads prevail as well. I love you all because only one of my close friends really understands what I am going through but I know I can reach out 24/7 both here and at FORCE.
DebC, we are all here for you. Maybe we need hipboots to wade in through the muck but we will always be here for your support. You have always been there for all of us and now we will support you. Lean back and feel the love that is being sent out. As you well know, so many read and don't post but they love as well.
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Deb, you have our support. Let us know what you find out ASAP.
Bren, we all know that you are not dangerous - don't have a dangerous bone in your body - I've met you and you didn't carry a warning label.
Colleen thinking of you today too.
Brenda
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Bin thanks for your post. I suspected there were some in the Dreamers thread who thought I was one of the "bad guys". Now I know it's true. I don't think any of us are bad guys.
You are wrong. That's all I can say. If anyone wants a copy of all of my pms that might mention your name or vickie's name all you have to do is ask. I will own up to my mistakes.
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(((Deb)))
With you today...sending you some energy, strength and, most importantly, M & M's!
Hugs
Peggy
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Oh Shokk........I am praying that everything heals........darn I hate reading that this is happening to you......
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Bren, you are wrong and as Susan said I will own up to anything you claim to have. I'm curious as to how you are so involved but I want everyone to know that I have never sent emails/pm's/or made phone calls to tell people not to speak to Vickie. It's ridiculous to think that I would care who does. People flatter themselves way too much. This is junior high school crap and I'm glad you showed that side of you. To make such blatant accusations and try to further damage reputations is irresponsible. You notice who keeps doing this kind of stuff. It's not the people you have accused anyway.
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I have a hard time putting feelings into words...........so I am borrowing a few quotes:
I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.
Katherine MansfieldThere is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. Saint Thomas Aquinas
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Albert SchweitzerWhen we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri NouwenYou can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
Laurence J. Peter (I am referring to myself)But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.
Thomas JeffersonHolding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
BuddhaLet us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
Madison
Marcel Proust0 -
Scott - thanks so much for dropping in. I am so glad I had the opporunity to meet you and Cheryl last year at Pinkstock. I always felt Cheryl and I had a great connection. Please come back and visit.
Guz - great idea! In fact, I am attending a class all day Sat to volunteer for Reach to Recovery. Has anyone been involved with R2R? I'm wondering what is in store for me.
Deb - sending (((BIGHUGS))) to you.
Gotta go, another stinkin' meeting.
Donna
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Donna -- that is such a nice thing to do. I've never checked to see if they have a Reach to Recovery here. Maybe I will.
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OK....quick post. The appointment didn't go like I would have liked. My PCP thinks the node is too worrysome to ignore. He suggests a PET scan right away or a surgery called a Mediasconoscopy where they insert a scop into the space between you lungs so they can look around and sample the nodes they find. I don't want either. Not sure what is next.....
Crap
As for the rest of the "stuff" going on....I don't have the energy....
Deb C
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Oh so sorry, Deb.
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Deb, I'm sorry you didn't get the results you wanted. Tell me about the Mediasconoscopy - want me to research it for you? Take a deep breath - we're here with you.
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Oh Deb...that really stinks. Holding your hand. Dang it all...not my choice of words but the only ones fit for print.
hugs
Vickie
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Deb - I'm hanging onto the fact that they want to do it, because it's worrisome to THEM that if they did nothing it might come back to bite them later. In other words (because Lord knows I'm rarely clear the first time I say something!) the fact that you're a BC survivor makes them "quicker" to check something like this, just to be on the safe side.
That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
Hugs to you my friend...
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Deb I am so sorry for the words you received. I am going to research and see what I can find. I know you have so much on your mind right now. Thinking of you!
Amy
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{DEB}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
JTTW
XOXOXOXO
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deb- just posted to you at my place- my friend had that procedure... don't have time right now to repost it here
Hi to everyone
haven't read hope all is well
love
g
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Aw Deb....((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))
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