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Illinois ladies facing bc

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  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    (((((Adey))))  Yay.

    sorry for the dreaded marks that sometimes show up. 

    Peace & love,

    Jackie

  • KristinFro
    KristinFro Member Posts: 96
    edited February 2013

    On Monday I went for my 2nd to last Herceptin treatment, only to get a call later in the day saying that they'd miscalculated and I was actually done! I have to admit I was shocked, and then I got oddly sad. A phone call wasn't the way I envisioned ending 13 months of treatments. My husband was supposed to go with me to the last infusion (he went out of town that morning), I was supposed to wear this awesome tiara a friend gave me specifically for that occasion, the nurses were supposed to sing to me. It was supposed to be a big deal. But all I got was a phone call saying we'll see you in April for your next onc visit. I literally cried for an hour and have felt a little numb ever since. It's like I ran a 13 month marathon only to have the finish line yanked away from me. And then on the other hand, I feel SO silly for feeling this way. I mean, I'm DONE. I should be happy about that, and I AM, it's just... I feel really weird, too. Ugh. I know it'll get better. It's just that I feel a little lost right now. Thanks, ladies, for letting me vent. XO.

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited February 2013

    KristinFro my last Herceptin was uneventful as well. I went by myself. Nurse of course said "yay your done!" but that's it. To be honest I was getting a little bit tired of the every 3 weeks for a year visits. I was glad I was done… and ready to have my nipple recon the following month.

    But I'll post a song for you signifying the end of this chapter because it is a BIG DEAL. Actually 2 songs happy dance is first. linky

  • C-squared
    C-squared Member Posts: 338
    edited February 2013

    Kristin~ I think what you areexperiencing is quite normal.  Just because you feel "sad, silly, lost or wierd" does not necessarily mean that you aren't also happy..., like you said, you ARE happy that your done.  And so now is another fork in the road of your journey.  All along we have been faced with decisions and changes.  I am confidenmt that you will over-come this one too. 

    Have your own party to celebrate!  Wear your tiara and invite your friends and family!  Sing many happy songs!  Laughing

    Congratulations Kristin!! Long life, health and happiness are my wishes for you! Smile

  • zap
    zap Member Posts: 1,850
    edited February 2013

    Gosh, I think C-square is spot on!  Celebrate!  You are finished, Kristin, and that is so cool.

    I think we have an approach avoidance attitude about the wonderful nurses and doctors that care for us and we are thrilled to be done with it, but they have made an imprint on our lives and so we may need some closure. Perhaps you might send them a card or stop by with a box of chocolates along with a hug and a tiara on your lovely head! You never know when you will see them again and I am not being morbid.  I accompanied a very special person to Kellogg Cancer Center where I had my treatments, but this time my special friend was the one  getting treatments.  It was so wonderful for me  to see these  nurses again and yes, they remembered me (and Marina and Irina).  I know many ladies remember funny Irina and of course we all know that Marina moved from Kellogg for aggressive therapy in Indianapolis (she is three years healthy and going strong). I thought that returning without a scheduled drip for myself would be weird......it was not.

    Good luck!

    Susan

    If you need closure to really enjoy your accomplishment, stop by and give them that good-bye hug!

    Susan

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Kristin....a few people though glad to be done also feel a little awkward about no longer "being treated".  It is like having Ins.  As long as it is there....but what now, after all this time.  You've been 'taking' the cure for a long time and suddenly your on your own --- pretty much in charge of yourself.  It will start to feel more natural.

    Wishing you so well and soon.

    Love & peace

    Jackie

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Be on the lookout for mercies. The more we look for them,
    the more of them we will see. . . . Better to lose count
    while naming your blessings than to lose your blessings
    to counting your troubles.

    Maltbie D. Babcock

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Brrr, winter is coming today in a harsh way.  Can't much complain though.  We have only had one big snow and a bit of cold the rest of the time.  We are going to have from the map....freezing sleet at least.  Maybe some snow.  Even the weather people aren't sure.  Anyway...went to the store last night --- so other than going to work, we are all set for the coming week-end.  All will be fine.  That is my blessing today....gas tank filled, pantry filled.  Tomorrow hopefully the furnace will be back on after a week's rest --- heat exchanger and jets had to be replaced to stainless steel.  We have I-heaters for the front of the house....so we did not have to replace our commercial unit that sets outside....just some parts that needed ordering.  Life is good.

    Hope you all have a great Thursday.  Week-end is coming....Yay !!

    Peace & love,

    Jackie

  • KristinFro
    KristinFro Member Posts: 96
    edited February 2013

    Thank you all so much! I'm feeling much better this morning. I think it all just needs to sink in a bit more. Zap, I love the idea of going back and visiting -- I may have to go back anyway for a port flush, depending on when I schedule to have it removed. So that would help a lot, I think. Hugs, ladies! (and lago, the link didn't work. boo. :()

  • dltnhm
    dltnhm Member Posts: 420
    edited February 2013

    Jackie

    What a beautiful quote!

    I so needed this message this morning.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Diana

  • timbek2
    timbek2 Member Posts: 64
    edited February 2013

    Snow is coming. Kids are all excited. I've got taco soup in the crock pot. It's a good day!



    Saw mo this week for follow up. Feeling good. Numbers slowly climbing. Peach fuzz growing. Energy returning. Starting rads soon. I don't get bloodwork until may 10th. When did most if you get your port removed??? My mo said its my call. So what is standard? Thanks for your help. Stay warm!

    Becki ;)

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Diana -- thank you.  Glad I chose that one.  It is something I like to do myself -- not get so lost in the rain storm I don't remember the sun.

    Speaking of which....as to today's big storm.  It started on the way to work.  Minding my own business and suddenly became aware of a **plinking** sound on my car and windows....sleety looking little snow pellets.  I got to work and it was a little dicey getting up the drive into the house.  I got the ice melt...went back outside and did the driveway and started on the wheelchair ramp.  My boss came and gave me the day off....felt it was better I come back home.  I agreed.  I would tough it out as that is my way.....but since we are compromised on heat here I felt that I might be happier at home with my daughter and husband and our animals. 

    If it is no worse than the hour I have just seem....I really could have stayed at work.  See you all next break time.

    Love and peace,

    Jackie

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited February 2013

    KristinFro Fixed the link. I was on my way out yesterday and didn't check it.

  • chgogemini
    chgogemini Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2013

    My hair is coming out and I'm so sad. Does it all come out? What happens if I don't buzz it. My mom has been crying with me she's so sad.



    I'm not ready to buzz it but Im hoping some will stay :-(

  • timbek2
    timbek2 Member Posts: 64
    edited February 2013

    chgogemini

    So sorry to hear that your hair is coming out.  That is one of the most emotional parts of this journey.  I waited a couple days for mine to get really bad and decided to get it buzzed.  My hairdresser did it for me in private.  Please know you are not alone in this.  We have all been right where you are.  I buzzed mine in October.  It was a tough day.  Now it's so cold out and I am pretty much bald with 1/4 inch peach fuzz.  It's cold.  But I finished chemo and feel stronger everyday.  Have a good cry and realize that you are not your hair.  We are so much more than that and it will grow again.  This is just temporary and there are many better days ahead.  Sending virtual HUGS!!!!!

    Becki

  • KristinFro
    KristinFro Member Posts: 96
    edited February 2013

    Awesome, lago! Thank you!!

  • termite
    termite Member Posts: 238
    edited February 2013

    I just learned about this site from another site. I live in Oswego, Il and work in Plainfield, Il.

    I was dx in March 2010, Stage 1, er +  Had lumpectomy, mammosite radiation and chose not to have chemo. Taking Femara and will be 3 years out in March this year.

    It would be great to meet others in the area.

    Emmy

  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 11,653
    edited February 2013

    Hi termite (Emmy). I really do live in Chicago. Never been to Oswego or Plainfield but I've heard of them. I don't get out of the city much Tongue Out I do believe we have a few Illinois Ladies from around there.

  • roulag
    roulag Member Posts: 126
    edited February 2013

    Hi Emmy (termite)! Welcome to the club! My sister-in-laws sister lives in Oswego, it is a very pretty town which keeps getting bigger and bigger.



    We are a great group of gals. Here to answer questions, ease concerns or just send cyber-hugs when you need them.

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Imagine how our lives might be if everyone had even a bit more of the Wisdom that comes from seeing clearly.  Suppose people everywhere, simultaneously, stopped what they were doing and paid attention for only as long as it took to recognize their shared humanity.  Surely the heartbreak of the world's pain, visible to all, would convert everyone to kindness.  What a gift that would be.

    Sylvia Boorstein

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Termite  welcome.  Great you found us.  Guess I never looked at your address before ( hanging my head in shame ) but you are here and will enjoy these ladies very much.  It has been a bit, but their is a lunch bunch that tries to get together so watch for it. 

    Our snow and ice arrived.....but it doesn't look too bad out.  Some warmth -- well enough to cause some melting should take place, even some time today but through the week-end.  For some reason I kept thinking we'd get through the rest of the season without snow.  Silly me.....with the weather non-patterns of the last few years, you really don't know what to expect.

    Hope you all have a fantastic Friday.

    Love and peace,

    Jackie

  • spunkyboobster
    spunkyboobster Member Posts: 563
    edited February 2013

    Welcome Emmy-glad you found us.  Congrats on being three years out! I hope you'll stop by often.  I'm in Elmhurst, but I've know where Plainfield is.

  • Graceembraced
    Graceembraced Member Posts: 86
    edited February 2013

    KristinFro, I understand your feelings, I kinda feel that way now. Since I'm only doing Herceptin every three weeks and starting to get my energy back, the flurry of cards, class and emails have disappeared and a don't have a chemo angel going with me.



    I know I don't need anyone for the treatment but I loved spending time with a girlfriend or sister. My husband says the last Herceptin will be a party, he'll take off work and well celebrate. I can't imagine not being able to do that. But everyone's advice is good and I would do the same. Make the party and celebrate, we have to celebrate every day, life is so precious.



    Hi termite, welcome! I'm in Frankfort and work in Western Springs...Plainfield is a great town. Where are you going for treatments?

  • joan888
    joan888 Member Posts: 711
    edited February 2013

    Wecome, termite!  Congrats on being three years out.  I was diagnosed in March 2010 also.

    KristinFro... congrats on being done with treatment.  It took me a while to adjust to not being in active treatment, but it is a good thing!  chgogemini, I agree that the hair thing is the worst part of this journey.  Have a good cry and don't let anyone tell you that "its just hair".

    I haven't had a chance to post in several days, but have been trying to keep up with emails.  We are still in Arizona and really not missing the snow and cold up north.  Doing lots of hiking, biking, etc.  When the weather gets cooler, we head to the theater and catch up on the movies.

    Thank you c-Squared for clarifying the different type of lymphedema therapist training.  I have been in treatment for the past month at a dedicated lymphedema center here in Phoenix.  The therapists there are Klose trained like you.  They are so impressive and incredibally knowlegable. I only wish I had met them much earlier in my journey with LE.  

  • C-squared
    C-squared Member Posts: 338
    edited February 2013

    Joan~ so glad to hear the information provided was useful.  Klose has EXCELLENT training and it's extremely intensive, like 10 hours/ day for two weeks with one day off, as I recall!  After our ten hours in class we'd go back to the hotel and study some more!  None of us thought we'd survive it, but we did!  The owner, Guenter Klose, is originally from Germany (now in CO) and is passionate about sharing his knowledge.., he often attends training courses (I got to meet him way back when I did my training.  I was part of the first class in the Chicago area (at Marionjoy in Wheaton & they now hold classes in Elgin). So, ask the therapists from Az if they had the opportunity to meet him..., I'm guessing they did!  I'm so glad to know that they have a "dedicated" LE center.  We need many more of them imo.  Thanks again!  Smile

  • joan888
    joan888 Member Posts: 711
    edited February 2013

    C-Squared... yes, they have had the opportunity to meet Guenter Klose.  In fact, they did their training in Colorado Springs with him.  He sounds like a man who is really dedicated to sharing his knowledge.

  • kjiberty
    kjiberty Member Posts: 687
    edited February 2013

    Termite:  Glad you found us!  Welcome!

    KristenFro:  I completely understand. I felt the same way, even though I knew when my last treatment was.  I cried off and on all day.  It's quite an emotional journey.  Congrats and Hugs!

    PS--I am leaving this cold state tomorrow morning or Key West for week!  Cool

  • illinoislady
    illinoislady Member Posts: 40,996
    edited February 2013

    Don't look in your suit-case for any stow-aways.

    Peace and love,

    Jackie

  • kjiberty
    kjiberty Member Posts: 687
    edited February 2013

    Thank you, Jackie!  PS--Still loving my Xocai'.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 15,711
    edited February 2013

    Hi everyone and Termite welcome here--this is a great thread, u'll enjoy it.

    Hey spunky I've lived in Villa Park all my life, just wecently mooved to the end of Wheaton--so I know exactly where u are and u must know where I am. Small world--what hospital were u in?

    I never seem to catch up. but I remember ending chemo after 2 yrs of seeing all the nurses and the Drs. I felt sad cuz there would be no one watvhing over me and my Dr. said don't worry u'r not going far u still have to come every couple of months for a long time. Then I unsaddened and I was like oh no. I've moved since and I'm still fooling around with Drs. every couple of weeks now I'm really tired of it. Now they send me right to ER if I call--I told my Dr. today u really don't like to see me much do u? She's very sweet and said she always thinks that's  the best place for me. Not for ER they just say look who's here. LOL