Illinois ladies facing bc
Comments
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Boatingirl so sorry for your need to find us! And for the turmoil you must be in with this diagnosis. I remember those first few days well. You will get lots of support here.
I am in Dupage county and my Oncologist is Dr. John Ayers. I did get 2 opinions from Surgeons and chose Dr. Noemi Sigalove. She had the same treatment plan as the other surgeon but was the perfect fit for me. I was glad I got 2 opinions. You will know what is right for you. Trust your gut.
Leah0 -
BoatinGirl I sent you a PM
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So thankful for all you ladies and the wonderful network of info and personal experiences that are so generously shared.
I had my first appt. with the acupuncturist that was recommended by one of our own and am thrilled to have her on my team. Truly a sence of peace and confidence that I have not had for a while!
Have a blessed weekend!0 -
I wish you humor and a twinkle in the eye.
I wish you glory and the strength to bear its burdens.
I wish you sunshine on your path and storms to season your journey.
I wish you peace--in the world in which you live and in the smallest corner
of the heart where truth is kept.
I wish you faith--to help define your living and your life.
More I cannot wish you--except perhaps love--to make all the rest worthwhile.
Robert A. Ward0 -
One of my all time favorites:
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely,
or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they
can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature,
and God. Because only then does one feel that
all is as it should be and that God wishes to see
people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
As long as this exists, and it certainly always
will, I know that then there will always be comfort
for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be.
And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.
Anne Frank0 -
How poingniant! That poor girl was locked in an attic for years and then killed,
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Welcome, Leahv and anyone else new whom i may have missed. It sounds like you certainly have lots of great references. I wish you all the best in this journey. This group of IL ladies is a fantastic source of support in many ways.
I am further down this path, but am still dealing with "issues". I had my 6 month follow-up with my ONC last week. My biggest concern now is the damage that Femara has done to my bones. My DEXA scan from a week ago indicates definite osteoporosis. In fact the radiology report says "high risk of fragility fracture". And that is in spite of high dose Vit D and Calcium. So now what? More drugs, of course. I have an appt for my first Prolia injection early in June. In the meantime, I will spend some time investigating some of the other options that we discussed. My DH and I are traveling to Europe for a couple weeks in May. DH seems to think that he needs to wrap me in bubble wrap for this trip! On the other hand, my back surgeon just gave me complete clearance to get back to any activities that I want to!
Hope everyone is enjoying the beautiful weather this weekend. We are visiting our son and his wife in Charlotte, NC this weekend and it seems we brought all the cold and rain along with us down here. Rain, rain,rain. We are off to the movies.0 -
Joan sorry to hear that the bone thinning progressed. My dexta showed little change from fall 2011 to fall 2012. I also do the Vit D and Calcium. I gave up diet soda once I started chemo and I'm of course powerwalking 4-5 times a week for an hour and strength training 2x a week. Granted exercise doesn't work for everyone. I'm also on Anastrozole and also a few years younger so maybe that makes a difference. My biggest drop was after chemo/chem-pause… and that is pretty normal. I'm still osteopenic but that spine is steady -2.3. Hip & neck not so bad.
Really hope you have no SE from Prolia. I hear it has fewer SE than Zometa.
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Hello felllow Illinois ladies, havin a rough time posting when Ive only been diagnosed with DCIS and some of you are more progressed. However Im having a tough time right now , husband is very self centered and right now having a hard time dealing with 'him" when I have to concentrate on me. Scared and not sure how things are going to workk out the first few days after my BMX with reconstruction, he has no clue....
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cateyz2, you have cancer....sweets you aren't required to have a huge tumor or anything. You are just as important here as anyone has been...because your path while it seems lighter is still the same one all of us walked down.
You do have to concentrate on you. This is your time to do all you can or need to, to get YOUR health back and stable. I think he is not the only man who finds it difficult to face and deal with a life partner that has a disease like this one. I know others will likely chime in and say something similar. We will be here holding you up and walking every step of the way with you.
You will I hope come and share any concerns you need to.....many of us have gone through some deep rants over things....... We are here in part because often, due to reasons just like you describe, we need someone who GETS it to lean on for a while. It is a mutual thing....we help each other because we needed a lot of help at one time. You are important and this is your home away from home......don't ever feel shy about coming. Someone will be around to talk too.
Love and peace,
Jackie
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cateyz2 "only DCIS" Don't ever feel guilty. BMX is the same regardless of your diagnosis. We are here to support all going through this. All these diagnosis have the "C" in them!
First of all they won't let you go home till your pain is managed. When you do get home you'll be very tired. If you take narcotics you'll probably be "high." I can't speak to that because I didn't need any. I bought a lot of pillows. I slept on an angle made with pillows behind my back, not flat on the bed. Some women sleep on recliners but I never felt comfortable in those and we don't have one anyway. As I felt better I would remove pillows. It can be challenging to get up. I managed but was in very good shape (I had nice abs).
Is there someone else you can get to come over and help? You might need help with the drains.
But if you aren't getting any nodes removed you will probably have a much easier time than I did. I had nodes on both sides and that's where I had the most discomfort.
I recommend you have things in your bathroom where you can reach. I was not allowed to have my elbows raised above my shoulders… not that I could do that. I'm not sure if that will be the same if you don't have any node surgery. I also recommend you talk to the BS/PS or their nurses about what you can and can't do. You will be surprised. The day I came home the phone rang and I answered it. The person on the other side was shocked I answered the phone. I was walking around the house too. I was not bed ridden. Most of us do OK and much better than we expected.
This whole BMX/Reconstruction thing sounds like a medical experiment concocted by Dr. Mengele… at least that's what is sounded like to me. I was so surprised that it was so much easier than I thought it would be.
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Jackie, OMG Thank you so much for your post it really helped!!! Ive always been the rock in the family and did everything for the sake of others while he thinks all he needs to do is go to work , no sensitivity and right now that is what I need and not gonna get, except from my new found friends. Ranting sorry
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Cateyz2 - sorry you had to join this website but so glad you found our group! This group of ladies rocks! We are all in a different place with diagnosis and treatment but regardless of that we are BC sisters. You are going through A LOT right now. It's confusing, scary and difficult whether it's DCIS or something else. Don't downplay that. Also it is very hard to be the one that needs help/support when you are the one that usually provides it to others. There is nothing wrong with letting others know you need support and understanding right now. Where are you in IL?
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MahometMom--
I workat the H&R Block on Mattis in Champaign. Katrina and I work in the same office.
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Catey I'm putting my 10 cents in here. Please don't use the word ONLY here--it is what it is cancer. And u'll se exacty what u have to do and take and how u feel. I think if u have a husband that doesn't give u comfort--he either doesn't have a clue or he doesn't want to face it. So don't be so hard on him. just take care of ur'self--but if u have drain. just ask him for help to drain them once and it might be more real for him. I know I sound cruel but I'mn sorry a lot of men can't get this, but if they have a cold they want complet cooperation with this dredded cold. And if u'r used to taking control that's how u'r being seen and u'r strong and tuff and that's It. I'm sure u will be but u need some TLC along the way and some practical physical help 2. And some men aren't easily equiped with that.
U certainly have us to come to for verbal support, but I'm sure u have someone who will help when needed and now is the time when u need it.
as Lago said get u'rself ready as much as u can before--make things u use daily easy to reach, make sure u have plenty of fluids in u'r house and protein foods and everything is easy for u to get too. If u'r having any breast removal it really isn't painful, surprised me--no needed pain meds. And at first u can't drive but if u'r not getting help for thaat The Cancer Assoc. will help u fr no charge to get to the Dr. app'tments so again u can have help. Sometimes everyone is working and u feel like now what. So eas u'r mind there. And if u have concerns, questions. sad or mad come here--we all get it and almost everyone here can help u thru it--I say almost cuz I don't know much--I am the queen of how to relax and not worry but it's cuz I don't know much LOL Someone will be able to help u. really.
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Thanks Ladies!
MDG: Im in Kingston, north of Dekalb/Sycamore, where are you?
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I know u didn't ask me, but I'm about 50 miles from u--I'm in Wheaton
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The surface of the ocean changes constantly. Now it is smooth and quiet. Again it becomes violent and tempestuous. But in its depths, down under the storms that whip the surface into a fury, there is a zone of eternal calm which no storm ever reaches, no hurricane ever ruffles. The surface of life is also in a state of constant flux, with good days and bad, victory and defeat. To maintain, as the ocean does, a deep inner calm, while the storms of misfortune, reverses, fears and worries lash at the surface of life, is to discover the secret of serenity. Wilferd A. Peterson
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I am in Geneva in the far west burbs. I moved here from "The D" (Detroit) 1 1/2 years ago and these wonderful ladies took me in
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CateyZ I'll chime in only by saying that you've heard the best advice from others already and that your husband may well be acting unconcerned and self-centered because he's scared to death of losing you and can't face it. I also recommend checking out the DCIS topic. The whole guilt because I "only" have DCIS comes up a lot. When I first joined the site I had the same guilt thoughts. Of course that changed when my diagnosis changed, which only reinforced the idea that there is no "only".
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cateyz2~ I was so fortunate to have the love and care of my sister who came in from CO and stayed with me for 3 weeks. I have no husband, no children and she was determined the I did NOT over-do! She had a mastectomy a few years ago so she had experience. One thing I'd like you to practice saying is this..., "just because I can, doesn't mean I should." Make it your mantra.., hang a sign above your head and point to it when your hubby needs reminding!
Do you have family and/or friends nearby? Do you belong to any organizations, church, kids school, etc that you can reach out to & put the word out that you'll be having surgery and will need some help. You may be amazed what people will do when they know you need help. But they won't know unless you let them know. Trust me, I know how difficult it is to ask for help! I did not want my sister to come (from CO) and I attempted numerous times to assure her that I would be "fine"- HA! In the end, my level of gratefulness could never be fully expressed in words. She put her family on hold for me and nurtured me back to health in a manner I didn't ever think possible for sisters who were NOT that close. Needless to say.., we are now!!! I digress.., this is about you, not me!
When is your surgery cateyz2? Has the surgeon given you any idea how long he thinks you might be in the hospital? Like lago said, first and foremost is pain control. Another factor that may influence your discharge may be the level of support you will have when you return home. Who is there to help you? Please let me know. I will be glad to take a road trip and do what I can.I am in the north burbs of Chicago, near the WI border. I enjoy road trips!
I am so sorry you have to be here and so glad that you found this group! ALL are welcome regardless of type, stage, grade or treatments. We are all "sistas" now. And that includes YOU!!!
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kjiberty............. Bradley has been chosen! See you soon. (c:
Welcome newbies. Howdy all.
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Cateyz2 Everything I would say to encourage you has so beautifully already been said! I will however, encourage you to think carefully about what YOU will need post op and ask whomever you need to to help you out. I, too, am the caretaker/doer in my family and I didn't ask for enough help with MX/TE surgery. I can't afford to make that mistake again when it comes time for exchange! Take the focus off of what he can't/won't do for you and put into place as best you can what you will need. It is surprisingly empowering and freeing. I am in West Chicago, about 40 min. East of you. My dad lives in Sycamore. I, too, would help you put any way I can. You are so surrounded by love and care!
Leah0 -
I have chosen to have a NS BMX with Dr. Michael Kinney and have consultation with PS Dr. Stephen Madry Wed, for reconstruction, not sure how soon surgery will be scheduled as they will coordinate but I hope soon, my one girlfriend will be going back to work the end of May and my son will be home from college on Thurs, but will be looking for a job for the summer. Just to brag on him abit, he's got a 3.7 gpa his first yr at school and is wanting to be a surgeon or ER Dr
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Also it seems there are quite a few of us in fairly close proximity, do any of you ladies ever plan and meet for lunch???
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cateyz2 after the first week you will be surprise you might be able to do more than you think… but don't plan on housework as one of them. I can't remember when I could vacuum again. Silver lining. You can apply to cleaningforareason.org. It's a service for those going through cancer treatment. I wish I had know about them.
Also don't be afraid to reach out to the American Cancer Society. They have all different types of support. I recommend you call your local office or the Chicago office. The national office might not be aware of what is going on locally but it's always worth calling them too. The 24 hour, 365 days a week number is: 1.800.227.2345
Boatingirl you might want to check out all this info too.
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Come from the heart, the true heart, not the head. When in doubt,
choose the heart. This does not mean to deny your own experiences
and that which you have empirically learned through the years. It means
to trust your self to integrate intuition and experience. There is a
balance, a harmony to be nurtured, between the head and the heart.
When the intuition rings clear and true, loving impulses are favored.
Brian L. Weiss0 -
SOrry I haven't been on much ladies..I have been doing some travelling lately and just now getting caught up.
Adey: Yay!!! Can't wait to finally meet you.
Spunky: WHen are you going to be in town?
Caty: Your husband might be self-centered, but now it's your time to be selfish and take care of yourself. These ladies o this board have given you some sound advice. Please take care of yourself!
Jackie: Still loving your quotes and eating chocoate. Just got my 6th haircut since ending chemo end of June. I am loving my short hair...
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I love your hair too! You look gorgeous. Enjoy that chocolate! You know somethig? You look like Juliette Binoche, the star of "Chocolat"!
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You are perfect. You are complete.
Your inner voice always knows what to
do,
but it is a quiet voice.
You can only hear the whisperings of your
inner voice -
your inner compass - when you turn down the volume
of your
fears, your regrets, your resentments,
and the fear-based advice
your
neighbors are so willing to give you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie0
