I WANT MY MOJO BACK!
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Here is a coupon code for 12 percent off at Qbcpharmacy.com in Canada where I buy Gynatrof Gel. They are very nice.
7cdcb50b105e-s458a44c
Hurry ~ This code expires 12-22-2016
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I highly recommend the QBC Pharmacy. They are very nice and ship promptly. I want to thank all of you for sharing your experiences. DH and I have been able to reconnect intimately this week without pain! I also dumped the Good Clean Love gel and went back to Astroglide. It turns out Good Clean Love was stinging me and him. The combination of the hyaloranic acid like Gynatrof and coconut oil have made huge differences for me. I still need to use the Estrace on occasion but the coconut oil daily really helps.
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Okay aparently the above QBC coupon didn't work.. here is a new one 12 percent off good til end of 12/25/16
e3bbed489a15-226d28c8
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TwoHobbies, no idea, I never opened them. But check all that Puritan's Pride has, they have hyaluronic acid serums, creams and liquids too, so I bet you one of those should work.
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Hi ladies- bumping the thread and venting a bit. Looking for some survivor stories who got their mojo back.
longish vent/ramble:
I'm halfway through chemo and in full chemopause. So many helpful suggestions from the members! The vaginal dryness and increased difficulty in achieving orgasm (even when solo, much less with my husband), are frustrating. I've been using JO vaginal moisturizer everyday until I can find a better replacement. Unfortunately, coconut oil made me burn, so I'm a little hesitant to try olive oil- not sure what other sensitivities I have. I'll give the other recommendations on the sticky post a shot down the road! I also scheduled an appointment with a gynecologist, but most of them that I've seen so far are just concerned about keeping cancer and infection away from my ladyparts. I need someone who really cares about my sexual health. Maybe that someone is a psychiatrist since the brain is one of the biggest sex organs?, but I dunno.
I realized that in the journey of cancer treatment, the doctors don't tell you everything to expect because it's just too much to handle. I knew I'd be on Herceptin for the first full year, but no one told me that I'd be on Tamoxifen and otherwise kept away from estrogen given my ER/PR+ status for the foreseeable future.
Does one's lube function ever come back, post menopause/chemopause, or is estrogen really the accelerant that gets your glands and mucosal linings going?
I guess I'm looking for survivor stories and some hope - stories about survivors where their ability to get turned on and orgasm may have actually gotten better or just returned to pre-cancer levels...
My husband is very understanding and knows that my body is being hijacked by chemo, and we engage in other intimacy other than just PIV, but I've never faked orgasms with him, and I know that inside, my muted enjoyment diminishes his enjoyment as well.
/vent off
Apologies if I disappear for weeks on end. Have been pretty tired lately and trying to keep the career and household afloat in between the doc/treatment visits. Love to all.
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anoncub- sorry to hear the coconut oil hasn't worked for you. That's been a help to me. I get what you mean about the general loss of sensation and that it matters to your partner as well as you.
I just saw my BS today who said that when I get off the AI at 51, there's even a chance I won't be through menopause. Crazy talk! So while I will welcome the return of estrogen, I will be wary of a recurrence. Her advice: exercise, eat healthy, and don't gain weight. Well, that's where I was before the bc beast struck.
Here's a link from another thread that I found helpful
http://prc.coh.org/A-Z%20Booklet%209-14.pdf
Good luck, my friend
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anoncub- been still thinking about what you wrote, that you're keeping career and household afloat while receiving chemo. It's so much, all that your body has to do.
I'm sure that in time you will feel better. I didn't have chemo but I went back to work full time after MX and then worked through radiation. It took me a couple months to start getting energy back. Give yourself time and rest and rely on your kind DHs love and understanding to trust it will get better. Hugs.0 -
hey ladies! So I've been on OS and AI for 4 months now and I've been super proactive about keeping my sex life intact... my experience:
I've been in chemo pause since May 2016
I use Honest Co organic body oil all over, including lady bits EVERY DAY. Before bed a give the lady parts a little extra just in case we have sex. If not, well then I'm just well moisturizers for the night. I haven't noticed a significant decrease in lubrication, but there have been physical changes to the "look" of my lady parts. Not as youthful looking.
One trick I have found that works is to make sure my bladder is a little full before sex. For some reason this helps with sensations down there and libido??
TMI alert... I have read on this forum and many other places that frequency is important, so on the days we don't have sex, I am using toys and things to keep orgasming and the lady parts from atrophy. Maybe this has helped? But I am wondering if it just continues to get worse, or if this is the worst it will get? My libido is at about zero so I'm being very purposeful...I'm only 46 and want to have sex with my husband for many many more years!! After 4 months of OS and and AI, is it reasonable to assume this is my new normal?
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Good for you, ClarkBlue, for being proactive. Tuning in to your body like you do is important, I think. For me, I feel like a few days to a week between intercourse allows time for healing. Any longer and it seems like I start to lose the progress I've made as far as comfort. As far as the four months, I'd say that things improved over a longer time than that, as I adjusted physically and psychologically, and found practical solutions as well. I purposely keep a schedule (without ever putting it that way to hubby); in other words I don't wait to be in the mood first.
Has anybody been on both an aromatase inhibitor and Faslodex, and did you notice any difference in comfort between the two? Things were better for me on tamoxifen than on the more recent aromatase inhibitor, and now I am hoping that on faslodex things will be a little better again. But then again, I had permanent chemopause happen just before starting the aromatase inhibitor.
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Anoncub, I don't have good news, but I had to comment because what you said resonated so much - "My muted enjoyment diminishes his enjoyment as well." I feel like I have to fake or else I'll get done raw, because it's supposed to make a difference. It's been seven months without a real orgasm. I fought and yelled about it at the hospital and finally just decided to practice, or try as much as possible, coconut oil every day and HyaloGyn every 3 days.
But anyway, it's like now he knows and is so much less interested in me sexually. The time we spend is cut in half now, almost like, "Well, she isn't going to, so I might as well finish up." I still *enjoy* it, O's or no. The connection and the feelings and even the almost getting there I like. I like feeling sexy and desired. Or liked.
I'm not on AI or Tam, it just feels wrong. If I can't have an orgasm now, I feel like those will kill it.
And use it or lose it no joke. I may have said before that there's been a study and women who are doing it (orgasm or not) look different "down there" that those that gave up. The blood flow to the area decreases. That came from a sex therapist (I guess - she's a psychologist who is extremely knowledgeable about women with cancer and sexual issues.).
I'm not giving up. Today I thought I just might get there. But no. Still, it's been better than other days.
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Falconer- infinite hugs for you, my friend. Thanks for the pamphlet re-link! Yes, we are in similar situations. I'm not sure what kind of endocrine therapy I'll be on after the year of treatment, but it'll be until my body decides to stop producing estrogen, I guess. I'm trying to develop a better attitude about creams and maintaining/exercising the ladyparts and libido, but I harbor a lot of resentment towards it. The therapist says it's a good sign, since apparently I've moved from action and dealing with the cancer eradication to focusing on quality of life. Sigh. And I'm with ya- I was at the exercise, eat right and don't gain weight before b.c. struck.
ClarkBlue- thanks for sharing your tips and experience. It's encouraging to remind me to try to do all the maintenance stuff for my libido, even when I really don't want to.
Frill- I just ordered some HyaloGyn based on your suggestion! My MO said she'd consider writing me a script for estrogen cream, but wants me to exhaust other non-estrogen options first. Man, I can relate to what you said. I do enjoy time with my husband, regardless of my orgasms, but I get the sense that he is anxious about my mental state, not wanting to pressure me, etc. I've been trying to make myself feel sexy and desirable by putting on the full face of makeup and wearing the cute outfits I have (when not feeling the worst from treatment), but it's a lot of effort and my brain just won't SHUT UP about cancer, making it difficult for me to let go and just immerse myself in the moments.
I fluctuate between my heart breaking for us and then being pissed off beyond belief. But I will soldier on with you, fellow mojo warrior! I refuse to give up on orgasms! I mean, heck... at this point, I'm happy to give up chocolate, especially since my taste buds have been hijacked, but I'm not going to give up trying to get my mojo and orgasms back.
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Frill, I see you are a little closer to your finish date on chemo. I couldn't O either in the beginning. I can usually now. Not 100%. So don't give up. I find that fantasizing about things that I find a turn on (or rather used to) helps me a lot. My drive is nonexistent but I am like you. I don't give up easily.
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Hi All - new to this board, after visiting with my OB/GYN today due to painful intercourse. I wanted to be sure nothing else was going on - but it turns out I have a tear...and I just have to use it more. lol. I admit - it has been very difficult to be active since starting chemo last September. We were lucky IF we did it at least once/month. Doc says I need to do it more like 3/week...which after the last painful time - scares me terribly. Dryness doesn't seem to be the issue - but will use some of the silicone based ideas mentioned in previous posts, along with coconut oil. Difficult trying to get hubby on board - now that I have almost put HIM in atrophy! lol. But being that I am only 50 (and he is 55) we just have to figure out a schedule to be sure we don't 'lose it'. We still have a 12 year old at home - so that is also difficult finding alone time without a knock on the door asking us what we are doing. oy. Any other advice or suggestions to help me get through the pain...is there any position that will be less painful?
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i can't help but laugh when your doc says you have to have sex at least 3 times/week!! I don't have any good solutions..I have no sex drive and no desire, but I love my husband dearly and can't imagine life without him,
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Kdtheatre, hands down best lube for us has been astroglide. Everything else has burned. I don't know about 3 times a week. We did it one week and it took me a week to recover lol.
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Hi Everyone....I am new to this board also...omg it is so much good info on here....I finished chemo in January and had surgery in February..sorry for being graphic..umm when my hubby and I tried in feb. after I finished chemo...it was very painful when he was on top...but when I got on top it didn't hurt as bad...we have tried twice since then and the same thing..i have never felt a pain like this during intercourse...I haven't had a period since October..the chemo has knocked me into early menopause...my poor sweet hubby doesn't get upset and I love him for that..i am just trying to figure out how to fix my situation down there...lol...you all have great tips...glad I found this board...I am going to try the coconut oil I hope this helps me:)
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nayda, - here is another board that is also helpful! https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/150/topics/826426?page=8#idx_217
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My husband had a title - Coconut Insertion Specialist (CIS) but I changed it to Coconut Oil Insertion Technician (in the) United States. When you figure out the acronym you'll have quite a laugh
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Lucky-- 😂😂😂😂😂😂 brilliant!0
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haha@lucky
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Ty for the link anotherNYCGirl
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Welcome, Nayda. I prefer Astroglide to Coconut oil. Maybe give it a try.
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MO prescribed Ritalin for my fatigue issue. At first the dose didn't do much, so we doubled it. Y'all, it's an amphetamine. After one week ... more sexy thoughts, (that is, from zero sexy thoughts a week to plenty every day), more energy just to actually undress (Femara, ugh), more lubrication, easier O's and definitely much better ones. 10x more effective than any coconut oil! Still a little insertion discomfort but we are both able to enjoy ourselves without having to stop for artificial lubrication, or having to stop because I hurt, or having to stop because I'm not going anywhere.
I'm totally surprised. And totally thrilled.
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Tarheel-I'm confused. What do you use for lubrication?
So all of a sudden this morning, within minutes after using the bathroom and laying back in bed-I got this horrible burning feeling & the urge/pressure to pee. So strange-do went back to toilet but nothing came out. Pain, burn, pressure continues. Urinary tract infection maybe? Just so very strange how quickly it appeared. It's been a couple of days since sex, so not related to thatpain.
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Sounds EXACTLY like a UTI.
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Kdtheatreit sounds like a UTI.
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I am confused. Why did the doctor prescribe Ritalin? I have some. My daughter has major ADD. Might try it but want to understand why this would work?
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Can you ladies recommend some quick and dirty erotica I can download onto my tablet? I think it might help me to focus.
I tried the Creme de la Femme that is advertised on Amazon and found it is a great lube-- just enough to get through the insertion and loosen up a bit, and not so much that I'm swimming in lube and can't feel anything.
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Leigh3232 are you looking for literature, pics or movies?
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Tumblr is great for pictures. It requires searching around a bit to find blogs that you like though. Once you do find a blog or two that you like though, you can follow links from that blog to other blogs that might work for you.
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