Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Yes, we'll do the 2nd room.
Hope you do well today! Good luck!
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Wish,
Sorry I couldn't come up with any ideas for the wig exchange, but it was nice to chat, even briefly. I was so just so tired, I had to go to bed, and when I woke up, I was just as tired as when I went to bed... but, I really didn't sleep very well last night, either.
My big IOS today is that I am feeling very fatigued for the past week. I saw my pcp today and he gave me a B-12 shot... man, did that ever hurt! Now my arm is sore! Also, I felt something on my left foob, near where the bc was found. I had my pcp also check, and he felt it, too. But we both think that it is only scar tissue. He wants to check it again next month to see if it has changed any. Does 'normal' life ever just calm down, into a smooth groove??
Harley
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Oh {{{{Harley}}}}} Our fears, that we find something else. Hon, I bet it's either 1) a stitch coming out, or 2) a scar tissue dissolving or forming. Try to relax about and not irrititate. Keep an eye/hand on only weekly if you can. I know it's hard. I still can't keep my fingers off that spot they said is a ridge in the supposed good breast
Did the B12 help? I heard they hurt like the devil itself! Owy!
BIG that SUX!
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Wish,
Thanks! I don't know if I am feeling better, and maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I'm feeling a 'little' bit better, I think. My pcp also ordered lots of blood work, just to be sure, and he seems to be thorough. I was worried when my pcp had to stop practicing, due to a diving accident, when she got the 'bends', but this guy seems to be very nice, and very thorough. Any time I ask him 'can I try this?', he is usually very open about doing what I ask.
Oh, it really does suck that we have to keep worrying about things that go lump lump lump... My mast. was a year ago, May 2nd, and I think the surgeon used dissolving stitches so I don't think it could be that one, but I vote for scar tissue. How do you monitor that?? I was feeling around there, and as you say, it's hard to stop feeling it. But, it seemed to me that sometimes I would feel it and sometimes it felt perfectly normal... so I thought it was just me. But today, my pcp also noticed that it felt different than the other foob, so it IS REAL, and I will try not to keep touching it.
Well, I gotta go to work... another IOS!!
Take care.
Hugs,
Harley
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Harley, don't discount disolving sticthes. My puppy had his little manhood surgery and they used theose disolving stitches and I noticed this huge lump and got concerned and ran him back to the vet. For some reason a stitch didn't disolve and infected slightly. The pulled the stitch and he was better. I noticed it again a couple days later and it was another one. This time I got it instead of running to the vet and he never had a problem again. So I am sure there are portions that don't always dissolve.
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Relative to others, my IOS is embarrasingly small. And the fact that I am not in a position to say more than a generic "THAT SUCKS" to everyone is part of the IOS. (Harley, CMB, whoever it was that was in Xeloda hell, everybody -- It DOES suck.)
I have finished chemo. I'm feeling great -- physically and mentally. So why can't I seem to get f**k all accomplished? I am behind on everything: laundry, housekeeping, returning friends' phone calls and emails, submitting about $1000 worth of bills for reimbursement, paying bills, checking on neighbors, contacting landlord about a sublet, unpacking a suitcase and posting here. I am doing something. It is just not clear to me why going for a walk, organizing a meeting for Thursday, returning library books and mailing three letters has taken me SIX HOURS.
I am signing off. I am going to try to excavate at least part of the apartment and rustle up something to eat that is not a) cookie dough or b) grape tomatoes. I fear I am becoming a Collyer brother.
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Rock - I swear, it took me close to a year before I was functioning "normally" (and I use that term loosely :-) again. If I made it the Post Office and "cooked" (translation - heated up) dinner I considered it a productive day! Hang in there...
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WhaSUx???
I did my first xeldoa & volunteered at the humane society---good to have something to do! It is ok so far......BUT---
IOS--I locked my keys in my van & had to wait til son got off school to drive to the next town (where the humane society is) to come unlock my car---so I am POOPED from all the extra dog walking I did------THEN I took him for Baskin Robbins & while we were sitting there drinking our malts he suddenly looked shocked & said--they will be waiting for me to go back & pick them up! LOLOLOL We toatally forgot that we had both cars & dh & dd were still back at the hs waiting for a ride! Sheesh! What a marooon! (who said that?)
The good news--I over-cooked last nite & got 2 huge meals out of my mistake so dinner is ready----Then I'm going to bed EARLY--carpet comes tomorrow----you all be well & stay strong!
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oh man.......how am I gonna remember???????
I've got it, I'll put notes all over my house. Chat room. Thurs. 9 Eastern. Got it.
I miss Deb.............................................................
Hugs everybody!
ps Saint, that's so nice you volunteered at the humane society.......so nice.....
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Man my day sucked.
My IOS - minivan had to be jumped, dealership can't find a problem - out $$ for that,
Garage door gears worn out - out $$ for that,
washer leaking - thank goodness under extended warranty (finally one paid off) - won't be fixed until saturday between 8 - 5
Sister getting married in October - major ios - needs its own thread
e-mailed md anderson - got the generic "I'm not a doctor but you can schedule an appointment for a second opinion" line
crampness from tamox - i feel a major tamoxi-rage coming on!!!!!!!
hugs to all,
Trish
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Sorry Trish,
Your "sister getting married - needs its own thread" CRACKED ME UP!!!!!!!!!
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Hi all:
No real IOS for me today, As far as "normal" goes -- it is only a setting on the clothes dryer - nowhere else...!!! Maybe if I jump inside -- no way could I ever fit ... scrap that idea...
I have a "to do" list, but it wears me out just thinking what I will try to scratch off. Yesterday I got a new shredder, unpacked it today - tomorrow I may start shredding the things I have piled up. And scratch off one thing, add 5 more... Talk about chemo brain - I got 2 refund checks in the mail today from what I had sent in as co payments on the first insurance (which totally SUCKED) -- miracle of miracles, the new insurance took over payment of them.
I there ONE body part that is not affected? Maybe the ear lobes??? The nail on my little toe is totally gone, my finger nails are stronger than iron, but are going flat, skin is DRY, nose runs like a faucet and I forget what else. Oh, fatigue... Dang doctors who poo poo side effects - I too have had allergic reactions over the years - demerol, percodan, most antibiotics and even scrub soap used before surgery. Adhesive tape rips layers of skin off also. Instead of the liquid tape, they used something called dermabond when I had the port implanted. It was mildly itchy, but did not flare up or get rashy.
Many years ago I had 9 reconstructive surgeries on my wrist - drunk driver ran into me. There was a lot of scar tissue on both sides and after the stitches were out and the wound was no longer pink - the dermatologist said to puncture a vitamin E capsule - 400 units - and rub gently in a circle. Amazingly enough it helped a lot and that skin remains soft as the other - not ropey or thick - to this day. But be warned that Vitamin E will leave an oil stain on clothing. However, I do know that some people develop ropey scars - is the word Keloids? I hope and pray that it is just a stitch working its way out and nothing serious.
Here's a big THAT SUCKS for those who need it. Thanks for sharing and letting me vent. HUGS, Nancy
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just wanted to let everyone know (after my many frantic posts yesterday) that i feel 100% better today. i called acs today to see if they had any research on dosage and scheduling. an onc nurse called a few hours later and said roche insert for xeloda does allow for changing the schedule and dosage amount depending on severity of se's. but the trick ha ha is to convince this onc that they are se's instead of insisting they're not. she also advised holding off a day to start tykerb so that'll be tomorrow. please pray that i can tolerate that one. i'm hoping roche's product safety people call tomorrow.
note for harley...my youngest son had surgery at 5 weeks (many years ago) internal stitches were to dissolve. ha!. poor baby slowly grew a hole in his tummy...surg kept saying no problem. i wanted to smack him. anyway after about 4-5 months it turned black all around this hole. few days later i was changing him and saw a tiny black speck sticking out of the hole. i pulled on it and out came a big black knotted piece of stitch. the black was gone and in 2 days the hole was completely closed up.
saint - hope you sail thru the xeloda...let us know. maria
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LuAnn,
Glad your puppy is ok now. Poor little guy!!
Maria,
That sounds dreadfully painful!! OUCH! Your poor baby! I think I would have slapped that dr.!
Well, my surgery was over a year ago, on May 2, 2007 , so I really don't think the stitches could be the problem.
My pcp dr. was surprised that I can feel my breasts, in fact, everyone has been surprised that I can feel 'em. Yep, I can feel them!
saint,
I hate it when I lock the keys in the car!! I haven't done anything like that in a while, but it really SUCKS!
Rock,
I don't know why, but I can't seem to get anything accomplished, either. It has been almost a year since I finished chemo, so I have no excuse.
Harley0 -
Ladies, want to keep everyone remembering the chat Thursday at 9 EST in the chat room no one uses. Bring all your ideas, looks like this is something we can pull off and feel great about. I cleared this with the moderators, they are on board and going to sticky note info about it at the top of the boards we think it will serve the most! See what can come out of a little gripe! Give me a purpose to get off my lazy behind!
I am still sore trying to recover with a teenager that feels its too much to ask him help clean up the kitchen. You know he works about 12 hours a week pushing carts and that is hard work, he shouldn't have to have chores at home on top of working those hours even though mom is going through problems. Then I got a whole litany of reasons why I probably have these issues. He is lucky to still be alive at this point, you all almost had to bail me out of jail tonight! I am sorry his life isn't as easy as others, I wouldn't have had babies if I had known their father would die and I would develop a terminal illness, but we can't choose these things. We can only continue on in spite of them......UGH!!!! I honestly believe all this is over not knowing what to do with his life and the fact he wants a car but still hasn't saved enough to buy one.....
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Luann, that sucks! I'm constantly walking the tightrope with my boys, trying to be sure that I don't expect too much or too little from them because of the cancer. Today I was just totallly disgusted--not one of them has been doing their chores (which are not huge tasks: taking out the trash, picking up clothes they've dropped on the floor, etc.) I just don't understand why they can't rinse a plate or pick up something they've dropped like a bit of a candy wrapper or magazine. My house is a complete disaster! There are dishes all over the kitchen with uneaten food in them. I REFUSE to wash them and will let them sit until they get too gross...then I'll just avoid the kitchen. It was my birthday today and it was such a non-event for them. My family all sent me cards and the recurring theme in all was "Let the boys (including dh) spoil you today." Yeah, right! Sure it sucks having a mom with mets and having that hanging over your head, but it doesn't give you an excuse to be a disgusting or lazy slob!
My other IOS today: I received an explanation of benefits today for the $75,000 bill for June's AVASTIN, ZOMETA, and ZOLADEX tx. This time the insurance company is saying they are refusing to pay because we haven't answered their request to us about other insurance coverage. Good grief...dh has talked with the insurance rep twice about it and also called two weeks ago and left a message providing all the information they asked for. I still haven't gotten a detailed bill from the cancer center to see if the $30k+ charge for ONE AVASTIN tx is an error. The insurance rep in this case is the same one that misinformed us about the XELODA coverage. I'm thinking she has a sadistic streak.
I'm probably going to miss out on the wig exchange chat. I have chemo all day on Thursday and then my middle son's first football game to go to after that. I'd appreciate it if somebody could PM me the details!
A big, "THAT SUCKS!" to all!
(((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
Geez Diane
Well Happy Birthday! But what is it with teens and their mess these days anyway??? When we were growing up (5 girls) we would not have dared to be so messy! We all had our chores and they had to be done by friday night or no going out for us. Nowadays it seems as tho our kids just don't see the mess??? I hate constantly being on my daughters tail to clean up......it makes me feel like the biatch and drives me nuts! Maybe moms need to strike once in a while? Hope you get your cake ......I'd send you one if I knew how.
How do you deal with all that insurance BS? The sums are staggering! It must put the stress level through the roof! THAT SUCKS to have all that worry on top of everything! Sorry you had such a sucky day.....geeeeeeez!
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Diane, I got so lost today I forgot to call. As for the insurance mess, contact your states insurance commsision. that usually fixes those problems really really fast! Sorry I forgot to start the thread but it's never too late! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!! Can't you wait til hormone phases are over?????
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Thanks, Luann! Waiting out the hormones: I hear ya!
My IOS this morning: I woke up to this awful smell. I think I woke because I was gagging in my sleep. I got out of bed to tinkle and came back into the room and sort of ran in to a huge wall of reek. I thought maybe the dog had left a deposit somewhere because the hormone honchos forgot to take him outside this morning....didn't see anything on the floor so decided to just hop back in bed for a few more winks. That's when I saw it: bigdog had puked ON the bed!! Bless his sweet heart, though. He was careful to keep it off the blankets and on DH's side of the bed. LOL! My doggie wuvs me. I'm so glad this happened today before I started chemo because the stench was horrible. I almost puked myself because of it. I'm guessing that perhaps the bigdog tried to help me out in the kitchen by "cleaning up" the old food the boys were ignoring. In typical, testosterone-driven style the bigdog was nowhere to be found while the mess was still there. He only just now reappeared.
So, I guess I can hope the boys grow out of it....what do I do about dh? LOLOLOL!
(((HUGS))) and "THAT SUCKS!" y'all,
Diane
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Hi All,
Sorry I have been away so long. My computer just about died. It would move so slowly. It took my husband several days to get it working. I just read that Deb had brain surgery? I am so glad she is back from the hospital. Her last log on was 9/8/08. She is still ok? Please tell me yes.
In the meantime, we had a deck built on the back of the house. Well, the steps went into the grass that sloped so I had to dig out and build out a flagstone landing and steps. Good news is that my strength is back. I can just about lift anything again. Bad news is I can only do hard labor for about 3 hours at a time. The second day of work I was so exhausted that my friend's 72 year old husband came over and helped me and kept me going. It's pretty bad when he is telling me to sit and rest while he digs. We also had the bedroom painted and so I had to tear that all apart and then put it back together. I moved heavy furniture and cleaned and cleaned. I am exhausted and a girl at work quit so I am taking over her hours so that does not leave me much time for the internet.
I get my new foobs on 9/22/08. He will do the nipples at the same time. Like CMB35, I was looking at my prosthesis and mast bras. Does anyone know who I can donate them to? If not, I'll take them back to the store and see if they can find a place to donate them. I am keeping one of my wigs because I love it so much. I had been wearing it because I cannot stand the ugly grey wispy crap that is growing on my head. After 2 comments of "you are ONLY 50", I went and got a bottle of Loreal and colored it a light auburn brown. It looks great! $4.99 and 30 minutes was all it took! The shortness still sucks and no eyebrows and eyelashes yet even after 6 months!
Happy Late Birthday Diane. I know about animal puke. I hate stepping in it. I lost my sense of smell 20 years ago, so I usually have to search for it. When we moved the bed, there were piles of dried puke under the bed. My husband said he never smelled it!
Saint, I used to volunteer at our local humane society until all the cancer crap. I had to go back Monday to take a little miniature schnauzer that wondered on our porch. My dogs tried to kill him. I got him up to the bathroom where he had diarhea all over the floor. Cleaned it up and put a pee pad down and bless his little heart, he used it and his poop became solid again. I plan to start back the third week of October. I went in and was cuddling all the kittens and then they told me they all had ringworm? Great! I have surgery in 2 weeks and do not need anything to compromise that!
How is your new kitty, Traci? I hope he has calmed down and you are not all scratched.
Harley, hope your little lump is just scar tissue. I use bio oil on my scars. It seems to help. Something that really helps is 3-9 cream by Erno Lazlo. It cost $110. Well, computer is slowing down, so I better get off and let it rest.I'll cathch up on everybody later.
Debbie
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Debbie
Good Luck with your new boobs... 9/22, bet you just can't wait!
Well, I don't know if the B-12 shot helped, cause I am still kind of tired today.
I got paid yesterday, and it was about $150 short!!! I think they made a mistake and only paid me for ONE week, instead of TWO weeks! We get paid every TWO weeks!
Harley
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Oh crap....found out why the bigdog was puking. He stuck his big, toopid head in the litter box and was eating clumped up kitty crap. Dragged it all over the floor so now I have another mess. WTF?? What makes dogs eat poop?????????? Do you s'pose he decided the crunchy coating was breading????????
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
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To Diane.... no wonder the puke reeked so terribly!! :-)Miss S
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WhaSux??
The carpet is going in--VERY NOISILY! kida sux--but kinda not, ya know? LOL
Diane--HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! You make me LOL with your posts---I guess it sux even worse when your IOS's make someone else lol so hard they spit on their monitor? HUGS! Avastin DOES cost about $30.000 a tx!! I was charged the same....see if you can get your own case manager nurse--I have one who works INDIRECTLY for my ins co & she has made an enormous difference in my relationship with our ins provider! Gagging & howling at your dog posts---omg--I have a large & a small dog so I know WHO did what ---usually! LOL
Luann & diane---most teens tend to suck under the best of circumstances, but having a mom with our issues can really mess with their heads. We have taken ours for family counseling & then-I tend to be with them as I am here--blunt, out front, & talk about EVERYTHING with them. We are all different, but it works for our family! They KNOW they can talk about cancer (& sex & ethics & & &) with us & that cancer is not something we whisper--when we are doing something together & I make them all LOL (whether on purpose or cuz I am now a chemobrain-elete) I usually say something like--you know you'll miss me when I am gone----it is good to laugh about it when we can......
Crazydaisy---I HAVE gone on strike---I found it worked really well (since I felt they were ALL neglecting chores & ignoring me) I decided to stop yelling & just did NOTHING for them for a few days until they agreed to a change----it was HARD---like when I made myself a dinner & they asked--you gonna eat all that??? BUT I forced myself NOT to do anything that did not involve blood, fire or a broken bone--it changed the dynamic here---the SECOND time I did it !! LOLOL
Debbie--check Deb's thread-she posted this AM that she still has vision troubles but seems to be slowly healing------HAIR is one of the WORST SUCKIEST issues with all this cancer crap! If they could figure out how to give us something that left our hair I think lots of the se's would be easier to take!!!! LOL Ringworm!! THAT SUX--why on earth would they let someone handle a cat with it?? wash well & hope for the best!!!!!! still SUX!
Harley--vit E is an amazing healer of scars-- I tend to get keloidal scars since my mast (why only since then I have NO idea) but I rub E on the incision as SOON as it no longer hurts & I have had amazing luck with reversing those problems--btw--my mom ALWAYS had problems with stiches "percolating" up thru her incisions YEARS later! Short check? THAT SUX
Traci-awwwww-new kitty?? where is the pic???
I stayed here so long the carpet guys have gone for lunch (& smokes by the smell of them!) Gonna go enjoy the peace---A big THAT SUX for anyone else who needs it--you all be well & stay strong!
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Diane, I have no idea why dogs eat poop, my two new puppies try eat my larger dogs poop as it is dropping out of there a$$, how gross is that!!!! We have to yell at the puppies and chase them away while we pour hot sauce on the fresh poop. That is the only way they will leave it alone. We tried all the other stuff the vet suggested without success. I was told they will out grow this but they are both over a year old now and still doing it???? Anyone need a good pooper scooper? I have two of them but they will only eat fresh poop, they are picky you know!
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Hot Sauce?!?!?! LOL (I'm dying here!)...sweety, I don't think adding CONDIMENTS to the poop is sending the right message...soon they'll be expecting you to provide a knife and fork! (lololol--and yeah, I DO know the hot sauce is supposed to be a deterrant. My bigdog LOVES hot sauce, though)
I can see the little ones standing there plotting the "retrieval" of a fresh snack from the bigger dog: "Look, he's sniffing! It won't be long now!" and "I hope it's a BIG one!" BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks, Luann. I haven't laughed like that in a long time!
((((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
well the hormonal teenager came home from school as was actually socialable today! Amazing what a day of school can do. He actually spoke with me in normal tones about the fact he needs to go to school and how he plans on managing to do that. Of course I agreed to let him take the car to go frisbee golfing (how on earth does one do that????) but at least he isn't yelling that I am ruining yet another teenagers life in my house!
Diane!!!! You are killing me!!!! Knife and fork, condiments, you are killing me LOL LOL LOL LOL
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LOL LOL LOL hahahaha
You gotta luv your dogs!! Mine liked the frozen turds! Popsicle anyone??? AHHH, grosses me right out when I have to wrestle with them to give it up! DROP IT! DROP IT! Crazy dogs! Mine love to munch on grass too.........then puke in the house! You know you have to bum rush them to the door when you hear that,,,,,,urhphm, urhphm, urhphm......gotta luv our dogs!
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Laughing out loud about poop - what else is there?! You guys are hysterical today...
Diane - So sorry about the mess, but what a story and I was ROFLMAO with the condiments!!! And Happy Birthday - what a way to start it off!! Good luck with chemo tomorrow. As we say on the May 08 thread - Chemooooo!!
Harley - Not getting paid the right amount just sucks!!! What's up with that?!
LuAnn - Are you feeling better? It sounds like it, so I hope so. And I'm glad the teenager was speaking reasonably to you.
My IOS for today is really tomorrow's: Chemo again. Although it's the second to last one, so almost there. But that damn Taxotere nearly killed me and it wasn't even the full dose! I'm still having se's and it's almost 2 weeks later! WTH?! I hope those are not going to be made worse by tomorrow's stuff. Besides chemo tomorrow, I also have to work part of the day on Friday teaching a 2 hour class (there was no way to reschedule, so I hope I'm coherent), organize and put on the (almost) 5 y.o.'s birthday party on Saturday and the older one needs to chose an insturment for band between now and Tuesday morning, which we then need to go and rent at a local music store. I'm sorry, can't be bothered with chemo. Maybe another day....crap.
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