Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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now that's what i call GOOD NEWS! if my brain is working ok, that means around the holidays? talk about Christmas presents
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he said don't count on christmas but thats ok, knowing he will be back soon is all I need to know!
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OH Crap, That SUCKS to those who need it. My chemo brain cannot remember everyone to give a gentle hug - please forgive me. I am on Immodium for my loose bowels. My onco asked me if I was depressed on Thursday because I usually have a funny joke to start off the visit -- well, I was tired and not in a joke telling mood... WTF... I just want this to get over with and get back to some form of normal eating and energy level. Then all the pink bombardment with BC awareness displays keeps reminding me I am fighting a battle, but I have not won the war yet.
Maintenance finally put up 6 new brackets for my closet rod/shelf, - I only reported it on Friday -- so I can spend tomorrow putting the stuff back in the closet -- too tired to do it today. Enough whining for now. Hugs, Nancy
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Pinky,
Welcome... Having both breasts removed SUCKS ROYALLY!! I also had bi-lateral mast. I don't know if you are going to have reconstruction, but I had delayed reconstruction so I went around flat for awhile. BUT, I understand that those expanders really hurt, so I guess I lucked out.
Shirley,
You are SO right! Anyone who is having tattoos for rads, I don't know HOW you do it! because I had the aureolas tattoo'd, and they hurt SO BAD!! But, not only did I have them tattoo'd on ONCE, no, they faded and I had to have them done THREE times!! The left one STILL faded, but I can't stand the thought of going through all that again, so I guess it'll have to be ok...
Sue
That fatigue really SUCKS! I didn't have to get rads, but they really SUCK!! So sorry you are feeling so much fatigue!! Sending HUGS your way!!
LuAnn,
I'm so glad that your son is ok!!
Nancy,
Glad the shelves got put back up. It sucks that you have to put all your stuff back, though.
Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the weekend, and hoping for NO IOSs next week, only SOIs!
Harley
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Sherri, you're going to be fine. Just give yourself time. Each of us reacts differently to chemo. I'm amazed at those who have been able to work. I was already tired and crazy before chemo and chemo just made it worse.
Rock, I'm printing a paper with your instructions. I'll file it away in case I should ever need it. You made me laugh!
Pam, so sorry to hear about your furbaby. I hate when our pets get old. Bless their little hearts. I hate when they get sick. They can't tell us what's wrong. They're just like having a baby. And, have fun on your trip. Sounds like you need to get away.
Cristine, enjoy that trip with your dd. Isn't nice we can have that kind of relationship...they actually like us going with them! Also, glad to hear your dh is feeling better.
Sharon, geez, that's horrible news. That's not even in the category of "sucks." It's SAD. Was your neighbor sick? I'm really sorry.
Dream, of course we would accept you. And I love your "helping hand" graph.
LuAnn, glad to hear you'll get your pain pump fixed. So sorry you've got to go through surgery AGAIN. But, the best news is YOU HEARD FROM YOUR DS! Wow! I KNOW you were excited. And I read further down that you heard from him again. I bet you're flying high WITHOUT drugs!
I am so glad to hear he COMING HOME!
Nicki, poor fishy! Don't let that blender start! Love the dogs (they are dogs, right?).
PinkyLee, tell your "dear" boyfriend that the setup would only be temporary. GEEZ! And having both boobs removed isn't something to look forward to. Now, please tell me what anyone means by telling you to look on the "bright side." I hate when I hear people making those remarks. I guess they just don't know what to say.
Sue, dear, I'm amazed that you worked at all DURING chemo. Be kind to yourself. You can't help the fatigue. Heck, just having to go everyday for rads will also make you fatigued. And, forget about the cleaning. What's wrong with you, woman!? Hope you don't post on the "Can't get my act together" thread. You'd be crucified, tar and feathered and embarrassed from entering that thread again!
Awww, Nancy, I hope you're feeling a little better. It's absolutely normal to have some depression. You're going to get through this. Boy, I'd hate to think I'd have to hang all that stuff back in my closet. And it's perfectly okay to whine. At least hear we won't be ridiculed.
Harley, if you ever should go to a nudist colony (beach or whatever) you can use a permanent ink marker. I bet know one would even notice. In fact, I would think in one of those places they don't pay any attention to a woman or man's body. YEAH, RIGHT! LOL
Well, tomorrow's Monday. I take my cat back to the vet. And, I forgot why she's going back..to check what. Oh well. At least the vet will get some money. Hope everyone's rest of the day is WITHOUT SUCKAGE or without SOIs.
Shirley
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I don't know how you all keep track of what others have said and then respond appropriately........and sorry 'bout the spelling. My friend was not young and had leukemia.....but still, it's so sad.
Poor little fishy in the blender. But darnit...........makes me laugh. Eww, that's not good right?
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where did I miss the fish in the blender?
do they really put permant tatoos on some of you ladies for rads? that wouldn't be nice. I did my rads in 99 and they used a sharpie marker with tape to mark the spots. When the tape was coming loose the would darken the marks and put new tape on. Was great, just wash them off when rads were done.
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I got permanent tats for rads. Can't even find all of them now. I think I have 5. They are very very small.
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Shirley
There is no danger of me joining a nudist colony or even going to a nude beach, ... I could NEVER do it!! When I take off my clothes, my stomach sticks out and I look pregnant... I hope your furbaby is feeling better, and I hope whatever test they are gonna do tomorrow comes out all fine... I hate it when our furbabies are sick!
Sharon,
'permanent' tats for rads?? I thought you were supposed to be able to remove them? Who wants them on there forever?? Of course, the aureola, I WANT to be on there forever, and it keeps fading... go figure.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow, with no IOSs.
Harley
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Pinky--that all just SUCKS! What, pray tell, is the bright side to bilat mast? I think that people are just so desparate to say something, anything, to try to take the pain away that they end up saying really incredibly stupid, hurtful things. I'm sorry you're having to go through this....keep coming here--we're here for you.
Good night and SOI's to all!
Sherri
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i thought most places did the permanent markers for rads. i have 3 of them and to be honest, they are so so tiny i have to look for them. may tomorrow me a SOI free day.
and wish me luck guys, tomorrow i start dear ole xeloda again. this time at 2000mg per day so hopefully there'll be no problems cause tykerb has it's own set of se's although some days aren't too bad. maria
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I have permanent tats for rads. 5 blue freckles... I can locate 2 of them....
One of my furbellies is sick. I think another vet will make some money tomorrow. He is the one that comes running for food and now he is not eating and trying to throw up.... sad. His sister ignores him.
I thought the friendship graphic was cute because of all the talk about Dolly and the teddy bears... I could not resist.
I thought I did something to the site because it happened halfway through typing my last post. Maybe not but you can blame me anyways, I dont care.
My SOI is that I have generous friends who have given me so much play money for Las Vegas that I am feeling guilty about getting any more. But I will spend it in Las Vegas cause that is why they gave it to me. They did not say that I could not spend some of it on others so that they can do things with me.....
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Yep, marking my spot!
Nicki
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Greetings ladies, whasux?
I have permanent tatts as well, but only 3 of them. I hate them but luckily, due to my Irish upbringing, am able to pretend they don't exist :-)
LuAnn - awesome about your son - yay!!
Nancy - being tired all the time sucks, hang in there
Having chemo brain sucks, I already forget what else I wanted to say, and can't page back for fear of losing my post. A big that sux to all!
Harley - I'm with you, I'm not sure what the point of the nude beach is (although I'm sure there is one, it just escapes me) but I would not find that relaxing!
Nicki - one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish...
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A big That Sucks to folks for their worries re: pets, drugs, and family. I had planned to write a poem for the occasion, but couldn't arrive at a good rhyme for Xeloda. ("To endure the s/e of Xeloda; Requires that one have the patience of Yoda"? "I'd rather be hung upside down naked from a pagoda, Than be given a prescription of Xeloda")
As of last Thursday, I have SIX permanent tattoos which I asked them to draw on as little spiders to complete my whole urban punk mystique that I've currently got going on. Unfortunately, the tatts are as small as the period at the end of the last sentence so they're barely noticeable, or at least not to someone like me who has crappy vision.I can only imagine what I looked like just now, eyeglasses hiked to the end of my nose, head bent with triple-chin forming, pushing my breast around mumbling, "The tattoos are around here somewhere...lemme see...lemme see..."
LuAnn -- so very happy about your son coming home.
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Rock, too funny! I can get that picture perfectly of you attempting to focus on those dots!
Thanks for the monday morning morning chuckle! BTW....hanging from a pagoda? That picture in my mind is not a good one...as I have one outside my puter room thats very serene surrounded by gardens, and I can not for the life picture a body handing upside from it! Although I've expected the opposum on some froggy mornings as this would be there!
You're mind works in wonderous ways. Love your poems...0 -
Rock, yep, thanks for the mental image of you looking for your tats. LOL. I can only find one but know there are 4 more somewhere. Right now I'm more worried about finding (and plucking) the facial hair that is WAY more noticable than any tats I have. Big glasses, big mirror, big hair
Facial hair sucks......but I guess that's why our eyesight fades, so we can't see 'em?
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If only we could count on others eyesight going at that same time hey?
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I've got it! XELODA= "big loadda..."
So many IOS...THAT SUCKS! But, it is good to see that there are some SOIs, too!
I'm not sure if this is an IOS or an SOI, but it's got me off balance. I have 2 TAXOL tx under my belt now. I'm really pleased with how un-crappy it's made me feel. Yeah, I've had some s/e and uncomfortable BM problems but really feel much better than I did on XELODA. So...I've been obsessing about my hair. I've been mentally prepared to lose it since my initial dx of bc & mets over two and a half years ago. Not that anyone can be truly prepared for that, but...Anyway, my hair is longer than it's ever been now. I tried for years and years to get it to grow and it would seem that XELODA acted like fertilizer. So, I want to shave it off before it starts falling out in clumps as I'm sure that would just freak me out too much. The thing is, I'm not noticing anything that would give me a clue as to when/if it's going to fall. I keep tugging at it to see if it's loosening but it all seems pretty secure so far. Is it just going to surprise me one day? Will I be standing at the stove cooking supper and have a huge chunk of hair fall into the soup?
Oh, and I have a GINORMOUS head. Seriously. I have never had much luck with hats because I can't get most of them ON my head. So, I decided to sew up some scarves and hats on my own. I spent all afternoon sewing up a hat the other day--used the size "large" pattern and even cut it more generously than that--only to find that it won't fit over my head. Must be all them brains in there, huh? At least I didn't feel like such a freak once I had my oldest DS try it on. It just SAT there on top of his head with no chance of stretching or wrangling it down. I could at least pull it down a little on my head...but got immediately light-headed from the constriction. Honestly, my head is so big that someone on my high school yearbook staff thought it necessary to showcase a photo of the cap & gown people measuring my skull for a cap--the stinking tape measure barely made it around my head.
On the bright side, I'm thinking about offering my bare skull up on eBay for advertising purposes.
Facial hair? I've been plucking the beginnings of a full beard since before starting AIs...I know my lashes and brows will probably fall. Can I look forward to the other hairs, or am I going to need to keep plucking? UGH...
That sucks, y'all!
(((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
Oh {{{Diane}}} I'm so sorry you are going to lose it
I had to laugh at your 'beard' comment though. I had a dream where I had grown an entire full face of beard over night! Much to my surprise, when I woke in the morning, I went to the bathroom mirror fully expecting and wondering how I was going to look. I was more curious than upset, which made the whole experience just too strange! I was AWAKE while walking to the bathroom, let me say. Just still I remember that calm walking and curiousness....not panic that I would have expected, b/c the dream was so real, I believed it. Thanks to all those pre-chemo meds!
I hate to admit it, but either the arimidex or the thyroid is causing hair loss not. Male patterned type of thinning and even my pubics are falling out. Not like after A/C, but often, like each time I go potty, I notice, one or two or more! To the point, I'm seriously considering the alternative...either the thyroid meds, or arimidex are going! I'm not going to be complacent in this. I just can't. Didn't use wigs after chemo loss and can't now either. I just can't!
Well, that's my IOS...
As for yours...may I say THAT SUX! BIG TIME! I surely hope you lose the facial hair but not the rest
Thinking some good thoughts for you as you worry and wait to see....hand extended to hold and arms wrapped in a {{hug}}HAS ANYONE HEARD From LuAnn or about DEB today?
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Losing your hair sucks huge.
I'm so sorry...... Traci
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My IOS (such as it is) - I don't have any more cravings for chocolate. My dd's birthday was yesterday and I couldn't eat her birthday cake. There was cake at work today for someone's b-day, and I couldn't eat that. WTH?!!!!
My SOI - I'll hopefully lose wieght now.
Gentle Hugs,
Trish
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Wish - I suggest you go Brazillian or commando south of the boarder. It may be a bit drastic for you, but it would get rid of the falling pubs though. Just a thought!
LuAnn - glad you heard from your son and he's coming stateside soon. Hope your pain pump isin't causing you too much pain today and the trip to the doc went well...
Diane, H2B has a a rather large dome as well. He looks kinda strange in baseball caps, but when his hair started to thin, he shaved it off and looks wonderful! So, yeah, loosing your hair rots, but your head might not look so bad. And think about the extra income if the eBay thing works out for you...
Trish, what a shame about chocolate. I'm so sorry...
Traci - the 'Boys pulled off another one yesterday - as did the Giants. Can't wait 'til they meet...
Anyone else just SHAVE their stray facial hairs like I do?!?
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So today I went and purchased the cammies to wear after surgery. I guess that is final comfirmation that tomorrow is coming. Both of my daughters announced today that they won't be here for the surgery and maybe for a week or two. What a non chalant attitude to have toward your mother undergoing life altering surgery.
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Diane,
You are too funny! Sorry, it sucks that you are gonna lose your hair! How often do you get Taxol? I lost my hair (I got 4 txs of Taxotere & Cytoxan) at 15 days after my 1st tx. It started falling out in clumps, and I knew I just had to do something. So my SIL came to visit, and she went with me to the wig shop where I got my wig. One of the owners gave me a very close buzz cut (and very attractive, too, I might add... NOT!). My SIL was so very supportive! When my cut was finished, she said that I have the best shaped head, so the bald head wouldn't look too bad. But, once I went bald, it was STILL hideous!
Losing your hair SUX!
wish,
I also have alot of hair falling out, and I think it could be the thyroid again. But my pcp dr. thinks I don't need a dose adjustment. I'm not taking Arimidex. I'm taking Tamoxifen, and I don't know, but maybe it can also cause hair loss. I have been taking BIOTIN, and that has been known to help with hair loss.
Felicia
When you shave those stray facial hairs, does the hair grow back in really stubbly, like our legs? Just curious... I was cutting them shorter with little scissors, but now I am using something like an Epil-stop... I got it off QVC, and it runs on batteries... anyhow, it pulls these hairs out, and I'm good for maybe a week... then they grow back again! GRRR....
A HUGS THAT SUCKS to anyone I may have missed...
Hope everyone has no IOSs, only SOIs!
Harley
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Oh, I almost forgot my IOS today... My surgeon ordered an ultrasound of that lump, and the insurance company called me a little while ago to tell me that he ordered a Mammogram. I don't think I can get a mammogram, since I haven't got breasts, but I have saline implants, and I don't want them to spring a leak!!
So tomorrow, I have to call my surgeon to see if he will change his Rx for the mammo to an ultrasound. If I spring a leak, I will be so mad!!
Harley
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{{Prayrv}} That is the worse of SE's I've heard of
Well, not the worse, but by far, the panic riddling for me if it hit! Did you eat it after your chemos? I heard that would happen with what ever food you ate first, so I made sure chocolate was not on the list of okay foods till I felt better on week 2 ~ Felicia, Yes, I could do a brazilian, but uh....the head is my main concern, just didn't think it would affect that too!
Why can't these drug companies be more forth coming with the TRUE SE's and not let us flounder and wonder, you know? That's the hardest thing, is wondering WHICH med, or disease, or disorder is causing this stuff! All the blood work is back and it's not that, so looks like it's the arimidex Hate that stuff! {{{{{Pinkylee}}}}} That is just unconscionable! How old these women that would NOT be around to offer help to their mother during this time! Omg! I can't believe it! Well, I can, but it's still not right by a long shot! MY mother is 80 and made the trip, all but one chemo to stay with me and lives 2 hours from here! Then again, she knows the times I've dropped everything to be there for her or others, so..... but still. Where are they 'going' that is so much more important than supporting you?
I'm so sorry for you! Do you have someone else to help out? What type of surgery are you having?{{Harley}} Darn it! Another test? At least the U/S is non-invasive or as bad as the GYN stuff you went through! Well...unless they do a bx that day. I know the first appt with my BS was a scheduled U/S and he did the bx right there and then. Thank heavens, b/c I surely was glad to not have the wait as others have had, but still...a bit of shock. Hope it's just scar, a stitch or other anomoly that's B9 sweet thing! Hang in there! When is your appt?
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Okay,
So today the two lovely young ladies that i gave birth to decided to inform me that they can't arrange to be here for my surgery. I can't believe that they could be so heartless towards this situation.
I am mourning the fact that by this time tomorrow I will not longer have breast. I am pissed that I have to go through this and I am mad that my girls don't care enough to be here.
I hope everything goes okay tomorrow and that at the end of this I have two beautifult new foobs
In the mean time I am pissed at everything going on in my life right now.
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So, My IOS...minor by comparsion, but I have to B*TCH to someone, and you all are it!
Got the results of the hip xray and all is fine, no osseous abnomality to explain the femur pain.
Blood test are all back to normal. Free Thyroxin @ 0.88 (ref 0.58-1.64) and Sensitive TSH is 0.39 (ref 0.34-5.60).
So it looks like all the SE's, femur/hip pain/weakness, stiffness, hair thinning, sore throat, vaginal atrophy, scalp pain/tenderness, lack of sleep over 1 1/2 hrs at a time, loss of appetite and weight gain problem............all from arimidex! Just freaking great! So...for the next 4 years and 6 months, I'll be like this till I'm done with arimidex. He suggests I see the onco, HA! I have no onco! Remember I asked for my records to be moved back in JUNE! They were supposed to call in july after the new doc decided whether to take me on. Then end of july the trial nurse said they would be calling me in the next day for sure, as they had thought I would call them? Hm...he was supposed to look at my files and decide...and I was supposed to call him? No sense to that one. Here we are....8 weeks later and still...no phone call. WTF? I really am thoroughtly disgusted with DOCS and their OFFICES and through! Tired, through and over it all! UGH!
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Diane: Somehow, despite losing your hair which sucks big time, your post made me giggle. Hair loss with A/C was so predictable. By time I started Taxol, then taxotere my hair was gone, so I have no idea when "the event" occurs. I have always been a hat person and looking all the time at them whenever Im in a store. I will check some out for someone with a rather "large" head lol.
Dreamer: I thought it was my post that made that page go crazy! Sometimes a picture will cause it to do that - so I went back and deleted my picture, but it wasnt that. I am very touched by the fact that so many friends banned together and helped you get to go to the Las Vegas trip. I bet you all will have a blast. I hopy your furbaby is ok.
Harley: Im guessing that surgeon made a mistake. I was told no more mammograms. They cant see through expanders and implants. I had to have an US of a lump once. It showed up as one cm and this was after my mast. Thank goodness it ended up being nothing, but having to go through this again sucks big time.
Colleen: OMG! Due to your Irish upbringing you pretend they dont exist? I have to tell you I laughed out loud at that, and still giggling as I type it.
Rock: Loved your poem. You always make me smile.
Wish: Hair thinning and not knowing why sucks big time. I have heard that Bioxin is very good. My initial guess was the thinning was from you thyroid because hypothyroidism can cause that to happen. But your tests are normal. This BC diagnosis has aged me 10 fold.
Pinky: Good luck tomorrow. Is anyone going to be with you?
Shirley: Hi to you.
Felicia: I was so bummed after the Bears lost in overtime. When I think about it today, I still want to kick something.
A big hello to everyone else. Its dinnertime.
Nicki
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