Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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WhaSux?
HUGS Traci---I have a true story about my onc (tho some don't find it funny- I wet my pants thinking about it)
I was sitting in onc's office with my best friend going over my scans. (He is a VERY somber, serious man) I had been having a bad time of it for months with lots of se's & trransfusions. I said,"Ya know doc-I dont think the cancer is gonna get me b4 the tx does." He looked deadpan as he said, "We don't like to hear that-we prefer the cancer get you!" She looked at me with a look that can only be described as a 'Little Rascals' double-take'--we burst out HOWLING! He looked at me so questioningly that I asked if he heard what he just said. When I repeated it he threw himself back in his chair & just cackled!! The nurses who heard wanted to know what I'd done since he has only LOL so they could hear him a few times in the last 10 years!! It still makes me laugh so hard I could cry....hugs to lil sis--too bad there is no quota of the bad $__t that is visited on us!
Helen--you made me LOL too---hugs backatcha nikki!
Be well & stay strong
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traci, that stinks for your sis, I can feel her pain when it comes to surgery! Enough is enough!
Saint, must be something in the air because I have been up and down the past few days. Just cry on the drop of dime and fine the next minute. Of course I am back to taking a bunch of pain pills and that always messes with you! Don't you just love this blasted disease....
On a good note, I had to get out today and went shopping. Bought some new clothes for Vegas today!!!! Less than two weeks to go!!!! WOOHOO!!!!! Major unwind and destress time!
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HI All:
SOI today - I won the booby prize (?? ironic) for lowest score of the day at bridge. We each put in 50 cents and I got mine back !! And I wore my auburn/henna highllghts wig for the first time out in public and everyone loved it.
Must be a moon phase or fall in the air, as I know lots who are "emotional" lately. Last week I burst into tears during tx and the nurse had tears in her eyes when she ran off to find me tissues. Tomorrow is tx # 11, 5 more to go then surgical decision. The tumor is shrunk abt 65%, so a lump is probably gonna be it. Let's see if I remember to pack MY soft kleenex for tomorrow's tx.
Hugs and good thoughts and NO IOS. Just in case you need it: THAT SUCKS.
Nancy
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Saint, I don't mean to laugh so hard........but in some warped kind of way it seems funny. I hope you are hanging in girl. Hugs to all whose life has sucked today.......and hugs to everyone else too. I had a poopy day..........but not a funny poop story poopy day. Although I got a million of 'em. (funny poop stories that is.)
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Nancy,
Good luck with your chemo tomorrow!
Sorry I can't keep up with everyone's IOS's, but I can tell you that they REALLY SUCK!!
OK... I had a really poopy day today,too, and I need to vent. Seems like nothing is going right these days.
I'm working at that dress shoppe, and it's supposed to be just a little p/t job, but whenever I need time off, for drs. appt., she STILL schedules me to work those days!!
On Oct 3rd, we are going to visit some friends in Cocoa Beach. We postponed the trip from Sept., because our friends are having visitors from the U.K., and they didn't have room for all of us. No big deal, I thought. As it turned out, my boss scheduled me to work the day I needed to be off in Sept., so I worked anyway, but I told her that we had to re-schedule our trip, and that was why I could work Sept. 19... I even wrote her a note, explaining the days I needed to be off.So today I go in to work, and she has scheduled me to work Oct. 3rd! I told her that we had planned that trip to Fl., and she just went ballistic on me! She said that I need to give her SIX weeks notice before any days off. I don't think I can stay there much longer.
Now I am having that u/s tomorrow, and I am getting kind of scared. I've been having this neck pain and shoulder pain, and I had that before I was dx'd last year. Oh, I am so worried!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Harley0 -
Goodnight all, may you all have restful, non-sucky, sleep.
Harley - hang in there sister, I get scared too, but I'm almost always wrong (nothing when I'm sure it's something, something when I think it's nothing)
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There are too many people to keep track of. Thank you all for your comments re the passing of Smudge....
Im sorry but cant copy a pix of him. Think Sylvester....with a blob of black on the nose. He was the cat who found out about fire when he approached a Christmas candle and the end of his eyebrow hair was on fire.... it was so cartoon like.
The remaining cat has shown very little interest in her missing brother. Occasionally lying down in a place that was "his" but thats about it.
Saint keep the hat ready. You lose your hair again wear it and make'em laugh. If anyone is stupid enough to wonder about it take it off.
I am so looking forward to Vegas. My spending mony just got cut by $200 but I can live with that. There is not a lot of time to play with anyway. Saint...ya know we have been missing out on the obvious... the casino has a spa... I have never been to a spa..... hmmmmmm
I am so looking forward to meeting so many people. There are not enough cameras to soak it all up.
As you can tell, I am not big into long chatty posts.
So many of you are new to me and those that arent are going to Vegas... Luann, Saint and Lefty...
Special mention - Tracy - Thank you for sharing the story about your avitar. It helped.
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Still haven't caught up but just wanted to put out a quick post that my brother came out of surgery fine and it was a triple by-pass, not a double. He might even get to go home tomorrow.
Still catching up (2 or 3 pages yet!!) but throwing out a THAT SUCKS for lost pets and clueless children and any/all se's!!!
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Bliss-glad you're home and hope it's nothing but clear skies from here on out!
Wish-have you heard from your sis about her mammo? I'm so sorry about your dd bf, I think it really sucks that they don't get more help when they get home. Not sure why they don't take them through some kind of intense de-briefing before they let them out. Anyway, I'm praying for him.
Bonnie-good luck with chemo today!
Debbie--did you get your bandages off? How do they look?
Traci--hernia repair--that SUCKS for your sis.
Nancy--Congrats on tumor shrinkage!! Praying for more, more, more!!!
Saint--I hate those buzzes in the head that say things like that! This journey is indeed filled with poop-landmines--you said it much nicer than I usually do!:-) It SUCKS!!!
Harley--praying for you and U/S today.
Cris--so glad your bro is okay!
To any I've missed, THAT SUCKS!
Okay, now here's my crap!
DH's car became possessed when he got off work last night--he got into the car, and when he turned on the ignition, it didn't start but every light on the dashboard started blinking and the horn started honking (ie-the alarm system went off) and he could hear all kinds of noise under the dash and was sure he smelled smoke. Said he expected any minute for the seat to start moving forward and crush him into the steering wheel (anybody remember the movie "Christine?")
Anyway, it took him 20 minutes to get it all to shut down, and I had to go pick him up from work. We tried to start it when I got there, and got blinking lights but no horn (thank God) Our mechanic was walking out the door when dh called, so they made plans to have it towed in this morning. Problem is, with me having to take so much time off work, and medical bills rolling in, we are flat broke--have no idea how we're going to pay for these repairs, or even afford to buy another one if we need to, esp now with the economic stuff going on, could we even get a loan?
Try to keep faith that God's already got it worked out, but I get that buzz in my head, like Saint talked about, with all the what if's.......
Well, anyway, SOI day to all!
Sherri
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Saint, I wish I could meet you. I loved working at the humane association and how great it made me feel. When I went into the animal room, I was the most popular girl in the room. All the animals wanted to be with me. All that love always made me feel so good even when I was scooping the yard. A funny story......I had filled a large food bag full of poop. It was so heavy that I thought I could stand on a dog house and push it over the fence close to the dumbster instead of dragging it through the facility. Well I got over the fence and then it hung and turned upside down and about 30 lbs of poop just poured out of the bag! I have my own little shelter at home with all my 13 animals. I just have to keep the cats off my chest now when I lay down.
Traci, I am so sorry about your sister. Is this ever going to end? I am so glad you have each other.
Harley, I too have just a part time job in a frame shop/art gallery. Luckily, everyone has been pretty supportive. I work extra when I can. The full time worker was saying she needed a vacation as soon as I was ready. Well she had a vacation last September. I have not had one in 2 years. So.....I am taking one the first week of December. I know it will be our busy time....but I have to get away. I hope your u/s is ok. I get so tired of worrying about every little ache, cough, headache, stomach ache, etc.
Sherri, just another SE of cancer. The financial burden. We have spent over $12,000 on my treatment. Man....I could have really had some fun spending $12,000. (new living room furniture, a trip to Italy, a pair of sapphire earrings......)
Well, I got the bandages off and they look ok. Not as big as I expected. The left one is still higher and the right one is fuller at the bottom. They are very close to what I had and what I can see of the nipples, they look pretty real. I guess I was hoping for new and improved. They don't feel like me. I still feel like I have bandages on my chest. They will do once I accept them.
The best thing was that I was able to at least sleep on my side last nite and I actually slept for a full 3 hours at one time. Such wierd dreams though. I am so tired of having these wierd dreams.
I don't know....I am feeling tired and out of sorts. I am near the end of my journey and I am not sure I like where I am. But I know it could be a whole lot worse. But I am tired of having to settle for less.
Debbie
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Hi to everyone. Busy day Im home and marking my spot. A big that sucks to everyone who needs one. Will catch up with ya in the morning.
Nicki
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I hope you all will accept a general, "THAT SUCKS!" today. I'm too pooped from a poopy day to be more specific...
My IOS: I had an allergic reaction to the TAXOL today. It was weird because the infusion was actually OVER when my chest started to tighten up. I am proud of myself that I didn't panic totally...but I'm freaking a little now. I know that it is highly unlikely that I am allergic to the chemo part of the TAXOL because most reactions are due to the CREMAPHOR in which it is delivered. We are going to switch to ABRAXANE. I have not and do not react to most tx and meds the same way that other people do, so I'm really worried that maybe I AM allergic to the chemo part and won't be able to do ABRAXANE either. I have really been doing well with the s/e's so far and my pain levels have improved; doc and I both believe those are good signs that I'm getting some benefit from the TAXOL. I'm just terribly worried I'll react to the ABRAXANE too and that's one more weapon to delete from my arsenal. I worry that I'll be one of those people who runs through all the available tx much too quickly and will be left with nothing way too soon. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So, tell me I'm nuts and sell it by throwing stats and personal experiences at me. I don't get the ABRAXANE for 2 weeks, so it's gonna be hard. I might actually ask for XANAX or something for the first time ever.
((((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
I guess the u/s went well. The tech was very nice, but she wouldn't tell me what, if anything, she saw... I know that they aren't supposed to tell you anything. It's just that the waiting is the hardest part. I'll get the results from my surgeon on Oct. 7th, when I go back to see him. He doesn't believe in calling with the results, even if it's good news, and that makes him SO BUSY!
cmb35,
Thanks for thinking of me. I know, it is so strange, because the first time, I really didn't worry about it at first. But after the gyn dr. told me "It's REALLY BAD!!" ... she had me SO SCARED!
Sherri,
Thanks for the prayers! They really DO help! That is what got me through last year.
Debbie,
Glad that you seem to be doing ok, and healing well after your surgery. I know, at first those new boobs just didn't feel right... they are now feeling more like me; in fact, they don't really feel any different. I know that they look bigger than my real breasts, but they are starting to look and feel normal to me... if that makes any sense.
I am also getting sick and tired of worrying about every little ache and pain that I get... I think that the post treatment period has been harder for me than when I was in 'active treatment'. At least then, I was focusing on getting through the tx, and it didn't seem that I was having any weird pains... Maybe now that I'm not focusing on just making it through the tx., I am thinking too much... at least, my dh says that I think too much.
I think I'm going to go job hunting, because it's obvious that dress shoppe isn't for me. But I do like to think that I'm being productive, and I don't like to have to ask my dh for money.
Diane,
GEEZ, that SUCKS that you had a reaction to the Taxol! I think that the Abraxane will work fine for you. I have read that other women who have an allergic reaction to the chemo they were given, if they switched them to something a little different, they did just fine...
Oh, and I agree about the Xanax... I didn't want to use it, but since my 1 yr. bc anniversary, it has been just one thing after another. Sometimes, I think that anti anxiety meds. can help us to get through a 'rough patch', and that has to be a good thing. I got some when I had that D & C, for the uterine polyps, and I'm glad I have it.I just had that u/s today, and I may go crazy unless I take the Xanax, because I don't go back to see my surgeon til Oct. 7th for my results...
Good Luck! I'll be thinking of you!
Thanks, everyone, for all the support!!
Hugs
Harley
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((((((((Diane)))))))) That sucks girl. RE: Xanax....I don't know how anybody does this without help from drugs. I still take Xanax every so often. Like Harley....I worry about every little ache/pain....I'm sure we all do. Sometimes, more so than others. I pop my tiny little Xanax and the anxiety really goes away. Unlike some others have mentioned...I can't feel the effects of the Xanax at all. No jitters, nothing. It just calms me down.
My 'lil sis takes Zoloft sometimes. One time, something sad happened to one of our bro's I think....I can't remember...(imagine that)....anyway, my 'lil sis said "I really want to cry but I can't cuz I took my Zoloft today." She is so funny!!!!!
Debbie, I soooo remember the first time I was able to sleep on my side! I loved it. I still won't sleep on my stomach cuz I'm afraid my foobs will burst and that sucks but, at least I can sleep on my side again!
Christine, happy to hear about your bro. I have personally know several men to have by-pass surgeries and after it was all over, they all said "I had no idea how bad I felt". They all are much better now. They are doing amazing things in surgery aren't they???
Sherri, sorry about your Christine car. Maybe the mechanic will work with you to get it paid off. You can always get a car loan but if you have credit issues now like me thanx to this s**t, you'll pay a high rate for sure......
Nancy, YEA! on the tumor shrinkage. Please refer to the top of my post for the tears part!!
LuAnn - Dreamer .... are y'all going to Vegas together?? Remember I was telling y'all about the guy that came to visit? He wanted me to go to Vegas with him...he's there right now. I passed. I'm just in a funk.....not to mention, NOTHING I own fits me anymore. I can remember walking the Red Carpet (literally) at a Gloria Estefan after party in Vegas (a friend got me in) with a little red dress on and high heels.....lookin' and feeling good. Cancer sucks.
Hugs everybody,
Traci
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First of all, this site has been all jinky for me the last few days - is it just me (my computer) or has anyone else noticed it.
harley - I'm sorry you couldn't get your results right away, that sucks
diane - that's a bummer about the taxol, do they have to switch you for sure? the woman next to me started to have a reaction and they slowed down her drip and gave her more benadryl, but I'm pretty sure they let her finish it (she got a red skin rash, no breathing issues though), I'm so sorry, what a nightmare!
traci - my sister has been on both xanax and zoloft off and on for years, I actually don't even know which, if any, she's taking now, but she said the same thing about the xanax, just let her feel calm so she could sleep at night
nicki - hope you had a good day today, I'm working with a woman who lives near Chicago now, I had no idea, I thought she also lived in MA, anyway, it made me think of you
Debbie - the joy of being able to sleep on your side again is nothing to sneeze at! I can remember tentatively trying it out from time to time (too early, it was a no go) and then being SO HAPPY when I could sleep on my left side again!
Christine - good news about your brother, triple bypass, holy moley!
Lefty - a big woo hoo on the tumor shrinkage!!
Sherri - car trouble sucks
LuAnn - whoops! I'm babysitting for a friend tonight and she's here, gotta run!
hugs all
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Well well look what I found when I searched Jinky! Colleen you made me giggly.
Another loud, unrestrained burst of laughter.
Have a good evening and a big that sucks for all.
Nicki
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this is not a bitch but something i thought just a tad strange. i happened to glance at the bottle of tykerb before. on the side is a warning: CHEMOTHERAPY: do not touch, use gloves.
well call me crazy but it's not safe to touch with bare fingers but i can put it in my body. well what the heck. something just doesn't seem right here. perhaps it's made me crazy.
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WhaSux?????
Hey biatches! I'm glad to be one of ya!! So many ios's here--that SUX!!
Harley--gentle hugs--give yourself time, hon--this journey never actually ends, but it will get easier. Remember that stress can make our bodies do all kinds of -to use the word of the day-Jinky things! Then if you worry about those you get more!!!! HUGS
Christine--Thanksgiving prayers for your bro! Nice to hear an IOS for a change!
Dream--Spa???? could I say NO>>>????????? Can't wait to meet you & LuAnn & all the rest!!!
AKA--Shrink??? that is the BEST word we could hear!! BTW..redheads actually have the most fun!
Sherri-----hugs--sounds like that mental BUZZ is making the rounds!!!! It sux! I have a little sticker on my kitcehn window that just says TRUST------sometimes it's hard.......
Sharon---that big old dog I told you about MAY have a home--3 ppl looked at him today SERIOUSLY---say a litle prayer to St Francis & then tell us some of your poop stories---you always make me laugh so hard!
Debbie----I know EXACTLY how you feel--my dh always says that technology thing---"we can make it better than it was" ---RIGHT! I will tell you that my implants are like my real breasts in that they are not perfect, either---I also want you to know that I NEVER think about them!! No matter what I do & I sleep on my stomach, too! Funny story---recently was talking to my kids about my recon. Neither of them realized that these are not ME!!!! They are teens, but I have looked like this as long as they can rememeber----here is the funny part-- I have no nipples!!! How on EARTH coulld they not know these aren't me?????? :LOL---btw--don't setttle for less, hon--we need to hold out for MORE! HUGS
Diane---I hear your BUZZ on se's!! If the literature with a drug says " .01% may experience..." you can bet your boodie that I'LL get it for sure!! AND THEN I get my OWN! Can you say, "THAT SUX??" But I did not have a hard time on abraxane! Nary an se until I added the avastin---it IS much more easiely tolerated---as long as you are NOT allergic to eggs!!! I had over 30 tx's b4 I had troubles & we aren't even sure it was the abraxane!!!! IT WILL BE OK!!!!!!!!!!! HUGS
Traci---you have me LOL at bad stuff again!!! Your sister's comment about not being able to cry is what has kept me off the drugs! I don't know if I can keep on keeping on without them---but so far so good!
Jersey--I said the same thing about chemo going into my veins!! They told me it would burn my skin if the needle was not in right--why didn't it burn my INSIDE>>???? Same thing with all those nuclear drugs the shoot into my veins b4 scans--I should glow in the dark by now!! HUGS
This came to me in the night:
There once was a drug called Xeloda
That made it hard to keep down even soda
When I told all the docs I was puking my socks
They said, "Crapola! You have yet to meet your quota!"
I know! IT SUX!!! LOL Be well & stay strong
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Well, hell, Diane, that just SUCKS! I don't know anything about Taxol or Abraxane, but I'm hoping and praying that it'll work for you!
Now I have a new IOS--had an appointment with my onc today to follow up my last chemo. Made the mistake of asking him if bone mets showed up on PET scan, cause I had one about 6 weeks ago and it was clear, but now I'm having pain in my ribs on the left side. Right away he says "lets do a bone scan, they're better". And here I was just looking for a little reassurance. Then I make the mistake of asking him about one of my liver function tests that was elevated after chemo #3--how was it doing now after #4? He looks at it and says, "oh, it's gone up even higher, and that's the one we worry about with bone problems! We really need to do that bone scan! " SHIT!!!!
Of course, after seeing the look on my face, he back-tracks and says, "well, I wouldn't worry too much, a gallstone could cause that elevation, too." Right, I'm not going to worry a bit.
Bone scan set for next Thursday.
Love you guys--don't know what I'd do without you!
Sherri
PS--forgot to report my SOI......the car ended up not being as bad as we thought--turned out being fairly minor, so the repair, plus diagnostics and towing was only a little over $200--much better than the $2000 we were fearing.
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AHHH Sherri--THAT SUX!!!
A bone scan is EASY=peasy! Prayers & candle burning for the desired outcome on that scan!! GOOD news on the car! Time to string a few SOI's together for ya~! HUGS
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Oh my, what a long list of SOI's and IOS's and I'm soooooooooo freaking sorry, but I'm just too tired to figure out who said/did what, complained, rejoyced in what, and had/want to what? Confused? I am that! BIG THAT SUX to the needy, and CONGRATS on the good stuff and I hope everyone is snuggled in bed and sleeping soundly tonight!
Just a quickie...someone asked, and yes, dsis had her mammo and of course, it's wait and see. She's had cysts' they've called her back for before, but I thougth that odd, since she's been post-meno for a like 5 years. Is that normal? To have cysts? Geepers...wait and see I supose.
Harley, so sorry your're waiting too! And everyone else!
Tired, pooped from cooking/baking all day and going to bed REALLY soon after this frozen reeces cup and cup of decaf! Night ladies!
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cmb35
Thanks for the kind words. I guess if my surgeon's office calls me and asks me to come in sooner, I'll know... it's bad news... but they've done that before, to reschedule because he was going to a conference or something, and it had nothing to do with me...
Saint,
That is a very funny poem!! lol
You are right, I think. I had this nagging neck and back pain last year, before I even found the bc. Now, it seems the neck and shoulder pain is back. It scares me, but I guess it is just one of those 'jinky' things!
I'm jealous... I wish I was meeting you guys... but being on the East coast does make it a bit more difficult.
I agree about putting that stuff (chemo) in our veins! When my surgeon told me that he was going to have to take me back into the hospital for surgery, to put a port in, I said "WTH?" He said "well, it burns, and it would burn you up..." WTF? I was lucky, though, to get through my tx without a port. My surgeon was at a conference when I got the 1st tx, so he said, since I was ONLY getting 4 tx, I should be ok without a port.
Thanks for thinking of me.
HUGS
Harley0 -
{{Sherri}}, you were posting while I was writing! Sheeettttttt girl! At least you won't have to worry when you get the all CLEAR on that scan dear! I just know it will be good!
Believe dear, we'll say a prayer and believe rigth along with you! Darn it, always something to worry about!I did have an SOI today I forgot to mention. Went to the eye doc, b/c I can't wear my glasses when doing puter or reading anymore. Seemed I didn't need the bi-focal. HA! Came home with ONE, yes, ONE contact for distance and that's IT!!!!!!!!!!! Whoohooo! Thank you chemo! Must have changed something, b/c I don't need the bi-focal now! VERY cool for me!
Night again ladies!
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wish,
Thanks for thinking of me... yes, I am not happy about having to wait for the u/s results, but I have no choice.
I'll be praying for your dsis. I don't know much about cysts, but I also thought we didn't get them if we were post menopausal....however, my surgeon said that my new little development may be 'just a cyst.'
Good news on your SOI... not needing bifocals is great!!
Sherri
So sorry to read that you have to have a bone scan!! I'll be thinking of you on Thurs., and I'll be praying for you!!
HUGS
Harley0 -
Hi All: no IOS today even with chemo and rain and horrific traffic on the way home. My driver told me as I got out that I was the nicest lady she had met in a long time - she and I talked up a storm sitting in traffic. I take a curb to curb van/taxi service for the handicapped. Today I had a "me only as passenger" taxi both ways.
And at chemo I sat with 3 other ladies whom I had talked to individually before. My side hurts from laughing so much - Imagine 4 trying to all talk at the same time on steroids... even the nurses were laughing.
Very gentle HUGS for everyone and THAT SUCKS for anyone who needs. I also cannot keep up with the individual IOS and I apologize. As I read each post, I can feel your pain and stress and I channel good thoughts for you. You are collectively in my prayers each night.
Hugs, Nancy
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Diane - So sucks!!!! I truly hope the Abraxane is better and just as easily tolerated.
Sherri - You get a Sucks and Yipee at the same time!
That's all I can remember about now, girls. To borrow Sue's phrase, I am dog. ass. tired. tonight.
SUCKS for all!
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Diane, that sucks about taxol I sent you a PM with some thoughts about that
Harley, keeping my fingers crossed the u/s comes back as nothing
sherri, what were you thinking mentioning pain???? Always seems everyone else onc tells them, don't worry about it, just a phase you are going through, yada, yada, yada....... Seriously, I'm glad you have an onc that takes you seriously and follows through thoroughly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed your scan turns out clean. If you want tips on how to look at a bone scan at the time of the scan just ask us metsters with bone mets, we kind of get good at looking at those.
Wish, boy I wish I could go to the eye doctor and my eyes get better! What are you doing right to fix your own eyes?????
Thats all I can remember, takes so long to read a days worth of these you forget what everyone wrote. It really is TGIF for me, I have an appt at 9am at the pain clinic to get my pain pump adjusted. I just hope they bump it up enough to get this ourtageous pain under control!
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Thanks everyone...I'm headed out to work for the first time in two weeks, and just popping in to "mark my spot"--will catch up with everyone tonight!
SUCK FREE DAY TO ALL!!!!!
Sherri
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Good morning and a big that sux to everyone who needs one today.
So far for me today no IOS. Im enjoying a cup of coffee and watching the sunrise without being in my car on my way to work.
Maria: Reading that label saying use gloves sux big time. Dont touch it, but swallow it? Gawd makes one wonder what in the world is going on with us.
Saint: OMG your story about the onc and the poem about xeloda cracked me up this morning. We have a patient at the SNF I work at who is on Xeloda. Not only can the nurses not pronounce it right, they have no idea what they are giving, and what the side effects are. I almost became enraged - but then kept my cool and wrote up a plan of care for them. Once they learned about it - they were pretty scared about what they didnt know. So I think it sux that most health care providers who are not involved in oncology know little about what we are going through.
Traci: I was sorry to read about your sister needing more surgery. I felt bad when I read she was crying. Sending a big that sux to you and your sister! More surgery sux.
LuAnn: I hate the thought of you having to take all those pain pills. It sux. But then I smiled when I read you went and did some retail therapy. That will be what Im doing today. Im gonna be kind to myself today and get a manicure and pedicure. Of course I will need to shave my legs first! What sux is that I never had a problem with hair growing back on my legs - just everywhere else. I hope when ya all go to Las Vegas you get some great pictures. Sounds like its gonna be so much fun.
Nancy: It sucks about you winning the booby prize but such good news about the tumor shrinking by 65%!
Harley: Your job sounds awful and Im sending a big that sucks your way. Dont like the sounds of your bitchy boss too much either. Glad the US is over and wish you didnt have to wait so long to get the results. When I had my US done for my cancer, the tech called the radiologist in and he did it himself. What a sinking feeling that gave me. When he finished he said well there is no reason we cant take care of this with surgery. I layed there and thought take care of what? Cause at the time I hadnt been diagnosed yet. Anyways - the waiting sucks and I praying for only good results for you.
Dreamer: You must go to the spa. You will love it.
Cristine: Such good news about your brother. Glad he made it through the surgery and will be going home soon. Of course I had to bring the dog assed tired picture out for you.
Sherri: OMG! It does sound like the car was possessed! Car trouble? It sux big time. The cost of our treatment and what it does to us financially sucks even more. I just read your post about the bone scan. It sux big time.
Debbie: Sounds like you are recovering well. I dont know what I was thinking, but was also disappointed. My cancer side is smaller than the non cancer side.
Diane: Oh it sucks big time you had an allergic reaction to Taxol. Just what you needed, another plunge from this roller coaster ride and it sux big time. On a positive note, I have heard very good things about abraxane - strong chemo without the allergies. BTW! Xanax and Celexa are my best friends! A xanax lollipop just for you.
Wish: Sorry you sis is in the wait and see mode. That sux!
Well, time to get something to eat. Have to enjoy this day cause Im working the week-end! A big that sux to everyone who needs one.
Nicki
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Good Morning Ladies,
I am hoping today is a better day.
Harley, why do you have to wait 3 weeks for an u/s? That just seems dowright cruel.
A big "THAT SUX" to all of you still on chemo and all those other drugs. I remember when I had Adriamycin, I was told to make sure it never got on my skin because it would burn! WTF and you are putting it in my veins???? I have had that drug twice and have gone over the lifetime max by double. I also had over the FDA recommended amount of Cisplatin when I had bone cancer. God, I still have chemo nightmares. It is so awful.
I also took Xanax and it really helped. It took that sharp knife edge off the anxiety. My doc gave me valium for the muscle spasms and I am hoarding that for those "jiggy" days.
Yesterday I was just down. I went to the library and barely made it home and crawled into bed with a Janet Evanovich novel (I found a big print) and fell asleep for the rest of the day. I need to go bra shopping today and find a cheap non-underwire bra to wear until I really heal and then can get a normal bra. The sports bra I wore yesterday hurt.
Saint...loved your poem about Xeloda. I never had to take that drug. What is it? What is Abraxane? Everyone is getting all these drugs and scans. My onc does not do anything. She said she only does stuff if I have a symptom and thank goodness, I have no lumps or symptoms of anything.
I am just in a really wierd mood. I cannot describe except to say....I think I may be going crazy. I cannot sit still, read a book, watch TV.....do anything. My head feels so full and I feel nauseous. I am also crying all the time now. And I should be happy.......I have had my surgery, my chemo is over and yet..........I think I am going over the edge and I am afraid I will never find me again. Weird, weird thoughts....I feel like the girl on "Poltergiest" "WHAT IS HAPPENING?"
Debbie
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