Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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dreamwriter wrote:
Wow Mary22 did you have to beat the children or was it voluntary.... LOL.
Dream, your comment gets my vote for laugh of the day...
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Jane .
Persevere....use it, or lose it .....
.Isabella.
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Jane, I have started taking a restorative yoga class and it helps stretch out those hip flexor muscles. Try warming up the muscles with gentle stretches before you do that again.
Sheila
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Thanks for listening to my rant before. And Thanks for the good news. Hugs and Blessings for everyone. Nancy
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SESSNA - congratulations and Barbe is right - you are a lifelong member! Here's to you:
Mary - Thank goodness for Guardian Angels! So glad your family is safe.
Dream - I've given up on exercise - this darn diabetic ulcer persists despite my best efforts. All the docs keep saying is stay off of it. I am beginning to think they mean forever! BTW, I don't see any of them volunteering to come wait on me hand and foot so I can stay off my foot.
To all those with good news:
To all those waiting for good news:
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One of my girls pays the other to clean her kitchen. Which one is smarter?
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Depends on how you look at it. I would say the one collecting the money and working. However if the other is very messy the she is the smaart one.
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Sessna, sweetheart, you're stuck with us! We wouldn't let you leave now!! We'd miss you too much.
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I am happy tears happy.
I started chemo in March of this year, and only told my 77 year old dad today. I went through the hair loss, wig, nausea, sticks, pricks, pneumonitis, and pulmonary embolism ... with you ladies and my breast cancer mentor and her supervisor and my best friend.
I couldn't tell him until I was in remission. I couldn't tell my dad when his mom, sister, and brother all had cancer when they died ... and many of his retiree friends have passed away in the last year.
It would have broken me to see him worry.
I love my dad. I love my dad so much.
Thank you for keeping me. Like I said - I need you ladies. I really do. The City of Hope Cancer Center is still gonna keep sticking me for the rest of my life.
Warm sincere thankful hugs, especially to KAK, barbe1958, and kmccraw423.
Did any of you see "An Officer and A Gentleman" with Richard Gere and Deborah Winger many years ago? A quote," You can't kick me out!!!" (Louis Gossett, Jr. says, "Why?!") Gere yells back, "I got no place to go!!!"
sessna1
...by the way, there is also a scene that plays out that way in the Bible. [King James Version, John 6:66-69]
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Sessna1 Yes, the no disease part is wonderful. Your food for thought about the toxic chemicals, yes, it was always the first thing I thought about as it was being pumped into me. What we do to live.
Sessna1, I will never tell my Dad about my BC. He lost my Mom & daughter to this disease in such a short time, I could never add to his pain. Believe it or not, 17yrs ago, he was given months to live, lung cancer. We always believed that Dad would be the first one to go. He has a DNR Order. He has been in the hospital so many times, so near death. All of us by his side waiting for the inevitable, then he would come back.
There are no words to describe how much and deeply I love my Dad. I look into his eyes and see such deep pain and loneliness because of the losses he has suffered. It breaks my heart every time I look at him. I'm so surprised to find some one else doing the same thing I'm doing. Thank you so much for sharing this. I don't feel as guilty as I did.
Angel
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Sessna, how did you tell your Dad and how did he take it? Will he remember it all today?
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Sessna, My mom didn't tell her father until her treatments (surgery, chemo, rads) were over either. She kept a hat on that winter when she went to see him at the nursing home, until one day she got hot and whipped off her hat. He looked at her and asked what she did to her hair. She told him she had breast cancer and the doctors treated her and she was free from cancer. Although she did tell her mother (who lived at the same nursing home) after her surgery but they agreed to keep it from grandpa. My aunt had passed away from unknown origin cancer in 1978, but the autopsy showed ovarian. Grandpa was more frail than Grandma that is why we kept it from him until all treatments were finished. Grandma just celebrated her 95 th birthday this past May.
Sheila0 -
SESNNA!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I am so happy for you!!!!! No, you can't leave us!!! Your humour, encouragement, just being you, is so important to all of us!!!! I am beyond happy for you!!!! If you were here I'd squish you with the biggest hug!!!!
Please let us know how your Dad took the news. I must admit I have a special interest -- I haven't told my Mom yet either. And when I move back home this fall I will have too. She's been so worried about me not working, I can't imagine how she'll be with this news. I can just imagine -- hey Mom I've got something to take your mind off my unemployment...you know how I seem to always have a horrible, short haircut....well.... Please PM me with any advice. I'll PM you this weekend too -- been meaning too, esp about who I think is hot on Star Trek!! Heehee!!!
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KONAKAT - Now I feel creepy. EEKS.
LEFTY - It seems like it always comes in threes, but yours appears to be double or even quadruple that! I feel horrible bitching about my brain frog when I think my life-long friend has to go to the hospital every week to have the lining in her lungs aspirated, and she still makes fun of herself! I wish her alert, painfree happy hours.
SESSNA1 - GREAT NEWS! I'm sorry, after all the killing over whose God is more omnipotent, I do not believe in organized religion - I was born and raised in the Southern Baptist faith and went to church four to five times a week. When religion tries to make laws and/or view women as second class citizens, I have a problem. I believe the American Indians may have had it right - be good to the earth and she will be good to you; be good to others and they will be good to you. I'm working on the second half of that equation, there are times I am reminded that we are good at heart, although my profession makes me extremely cynical. I respect your faith, please respect my belief that it is all a control thing. As far as war leading to treatment, my grandmother drove herself to the hospital in 1947 to have a double mastectomy and radiation! She then drove herself home!
Thank you and have a wonderful Friday!
Kathy
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KONAKAT - Now I feel creepy. EEKS.
LEFTY - It seems like it always comes in threes, but yours appears to be double or even quadruple that! I feel horrible bitching about my brain frog when I think my life-long friend has to go to the hospital every week to have the lining in her lungs aspirated, and she still makes fun of herself! I wish her alert, painfree happy hours.
SESSNA1 - GREAT NEWS! I'm sorry, after all the killing over whose God is more omnipotent, I do not believe in organized religion - I was born and raised in the Southern Baptist faith and went to church four to five times a week. When religion tries to make laws and/or view women as second class citizens, I have a problem. I believe the American Indians may have had it right - be good to the earth and she will be good to you; be good to others and they will be good to you. I'm working on the second half of that equation, there are times I am reminded that we are good at heart, although my profession makes me extremely cynical. I respect your faith, please respect my belief that it is all a control thing. As far as war leading to treatment, my grandmother drove herself to the hospital in 1947 to have a double mastectomy and radiation! She then drove herself home!
Thank you and have a wonderful Friday!
Kathy
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Kajan75, I'm amazed about your Grandmother. Back then women did every thing they had to do to hold the family together. And make things comfortable for their men. Please share with us more about your Grandmother. She was one tough lady.
Thank you
Angel
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I'm so exhausted, I think I need to go to bed before it even gets dark. But I had to check in and see how things went this week since I didn't have my usual lunchtime checkins...Sessna....YAY!
Nancy...YAY for you too my friend!
I'm amazed by all of you, your resilience, protecting you loved ones from the burden you bear doing the treatments for this horrid disease...it's truly an honor to come here and share, learn, laugh.
For now, I must go...it's not the weekend for me quite yet as I have to work a few hours tomorrow as well. I'm so looking forward to letting my head hit the pillow tonight!
Be well, stay strong, enjoy the weekend!
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Kathy - your grandmother sounds like mine. She put one foot in front of the other and keep on going! She had breast cancer and had a mastectomy. In those days they took no chances and removed everything - breast, lymph nodes, muscle, whatever. She had a scar that went from her breast bone almost to her waist. In fact, her doctor told her the lump was in all probability benign and they would check it in a few months when she could make arrangements. She told him they would check it now!
I, too, am amazed by those of you going through this horrible journey yet having so much love that you would spare your loved ones the worry. That would never happen in my family. Yes, we are highly dysfunctional; however, we are best in a crisis when everyone pulls together and petty squabbles are set aside (at least until after the crisis!)
God bless and keep all of you.
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Wow you all have such wonderful families. For me there is my half sister on my side and David has a stepmother, father and aunts. They are supportive but distant. My sister is wonderful - we sometimes get together and she calls once a week. We both have breast cancer and she is now NED. I am sooooo happy for her. My friends are more family than most family members including friends on the boards.
Sessna1 - You and I have talked more about God then my husband and I.
You go anywhere and I will cry = I mean it.
I dont understand not telling family members. Are you not depriving them a chance to support you through hard times... Isnt that what family members are supposed to do? Im not in your shoes... just wishing to understand. But then we are tough enough to handle cancer, we are tough enough to stand on our own two feet. I went through my treatments with just my husband and best friend... my daughters stayed dumbfounded through most of it and didnt help much. They have come out of shock and are much more helpful now. I couldnt imagine not telling them though.
Your family members must have been strong characters. I hope I am considered a strong character too.
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Dream, I completely understand not telling family members. If my dad was still alive I would have never told him. My mother's death changed him so much, I would not have been able to tell him. But you are right you do deprive them the chance to be supportive.
Have a great day.
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Angel, ymb, I told my next door neighbor about the mastectomy before I told my father, and she lit into me like I was evil and said that as a parent, she believes that withholding information (as a child) is unacceptable.
I stood there at our waist-high neighbor wall and let her rant at me, and I took it in silence because God told me to. I realized that she doesn't understand, and she has her own walk with God, and it is my job to allow her to walk it. I'm not proud of being made stronger in God than she at this time, I'm channeling the strength to do it successfully to the Glory of God.
It was my doctors and their assistants who kept saying to assemble a support group - even though I knew everyone around me has too much on their plate - too much stress going on in their lives already - for me to put this upon them. God gave it to me because He knows that even though I don't know I can bear it - He can enable me to bear it, and testify to His Glory. I lost two friendships completely, my father is still the only blood relative that I have told about my chemotherapy, and without you ladies as my spiritual support group - this battle would not be the same. You are a big part of my strength. Don't you ever forget that or discount that. Thank you for being you. sessna1 says so.
I pity the prophets in the Bible. No one liked a prophet. No one in their right mind wants to speak God's Truth and suffer the consequences of anything and all short of death - no one "wants" to bear God's Messages to the people - you have to be chosen, willing, and fiercely passionate in your conviction to God. You have to not let yourself speak when God tells you to be silent (very hard). You have to learn to recognize God's Voice speaking to you. You have to rise to the level of being better than you could ever be as a human being to become the best you can be as an eternal spirit and soul.
Yes, we are spiritual sisters. We would not add worry that would not help and would more than likely put more strain on the ones we love the most. We can, will, and do things that others cannot understand because it transcends human understanding. My father has lost ALL the people closest to him to cancer. He is not going to lose me. I refuse to die. I refuse to let death remove me from serving God any sooner than God allows it after God allows my service to Him.
17 years ago your father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and God keeps him on this planet even yet. I'm in awe. Whoaaaa. God keeps strengthening Him to let you have his presence on earth as long as possible - not to make him suffer, but to show the universe that He knows your spirits need each other in this realm.
Yesterday, on the radio, 107.9 FM, Los Angeles, a minister said that , "Christians have to come out of the closet and be more vocal." I thought, "???? Coming ‘out of the closet' is the political verbiage for the homosexual. Are you telling me that hiding my light under a bushel under any circumstances (unless directed by God to do so)... waaaait a minute. The Bible tells me that Christians are the light of the world, salt of the earth, and a city on a hill. There's a lot of stuff in the Bible that we read, hear, and don't fully absorb. That is one serious book; it is more than a book. It breathes. It lives.
barbe1958, my father took it as I knew he would. He understands me because God joined us in Heaven before we were born. His ladyfriend gets exasperated because he and I are so much alike. I am his mother's namesake; I am God showing him that God can return part of your mother's love for you through your own child. Dad said that he understood that him worrying about me might have been detrimental to his own health and that his worrying would not have helped the situation. I sat prepared for him to be mad at me, maybe like my neighbor, for not telling him everything - but he respects and loves me as an adult and a Christian, and God had already been into his spirit before my words came to his ears. Dad accepted it, and now we are both better for it, and he has been seeing me get stronger, helping him more, and using http://www.bistromd.com/ food to lose weight the correct way (4 lbs so far). You have to eat well and put fuel in your body engine for it to run its best - don't let fast food places sell you $1.00 food. Eat vegetables and fruits that are grown in your home state as much as possible - not imported from other countries.
Dad will remember it all. I speak to dad with my spirit, and his spirit hears mine.
Sheila, fellow spiritual sister, bless your heart. Just as Angel, you are not alone. If people don't testify to each other, they begin to believe that they are alone. That is why we must speak when God tells us to speak. Pray, be silent, and then speak when God tells you to. Your grandparents know who you are - God assigned you to one another before either of you were born. 95 years old - Praise God.
My mother went through childbirth to get me on the planet, and both my parents sacrificed to give me a better childhood than either of them got. If I can't show them the love and respect that they gave to a weak, helpless, suckling newborn (with colic!) - who would I be?
I'd take that squish hug from you, konakat. I would return it, too. I will PM you this weekend. Absolutely. I sat with dad in his den, and the football was on the TV, and I began to talk (I had prayed before for the words, and I have begged God over and over to be allowed to tell him because I hated lying to my dad by not telling him the truth. I respect him too much. I really do. I don't think my mother realized that she was one of my heroes before she died. I have to believe that God has told her as she waits with all those who sleep for the Rapture, Second Coming, and Wedding Supper of the Lamb of God.
I haven't worked since 2003. My neighbors must generally think that I am selling drugs out of the back of the alley to finance my mortgage. Laugh with me, ladies, there is NO alley in back of my home. If I am not evidence to the power of God being able to do what men cannot, I want you to point me towards someone else I can look at.
Long term disability. My employer won't take me back unless I am 100%, and in the medical and legal sense, I will never be 100% again. Medicine says I'm terminal, having hit Stage IV. I say "I was born at stage 16, back off, I serve God."
Oh, Kathy, kajan75 - your grandmother is a warrior woman like my mother and great aunt. They did, fought, suffered in silence by the strength of God and their determination. Women are ‘the weaker vessel,' but we sure as goodness are not weak. Okay, she trumps me. I only drove myself to emergency twice with life threatening illness, and KAK's beau took out his own catheter/IV. Whoaaaa. I'm still reeling over that. I truly am.
Thank you for allowing me to testify in public. Rats, God keeps saying I can't type in my real name, so, for now, I am still and always your sessna1.
Ymb, Angel, I second that. Kajan75, please gift and honor us with more about your Grandmother, if it is alright with you. I read the story of Queen Esther in the Bible - you gotta be tough to serve God and do what He directs and leads you to do.
Ladies - if loudmouthed "spokes-holes" (I heard that term on AM 640 Los Angeles) can try to think for you and call life a no-brainer, just think like they think - how much more valuable is the life that you can observe, touch, see, and witness the wisdom, intelligence, honor, strength, and conviction of the human heart touched by the Divine? You don't need to e-broadcast yourself or be in e-contact 24/7/365. You are special, let's keep it that way.
Thank you, navygirl.
kmccraw423, we are all made differently. It would be a blessing to have a spiritually tight family, but as most of us usually do not, that's why the Bible tells us that God will and can fill that role for us, and that we must be willing to leave our family behind for His Work for us. I do have to say that a few spiritually tight family members are quite a powerful influence. I am a witness to that.
Not going anywhere, Sister dreamwriter. Where would I go when you ladies are here? Only a fool leaves the one with the truthful answers. Dream-you are a very strong character. Having support is as much a blessing when the support comes from any God-infused spirit. When the support doesn't understand, is weak, is younger spiritually than you are, is going through its own nightmare, has not shown the spiritual maturity to "handle it," you KNOW that you must bear your own cross the best you can.
God doesn't tell us everything. We can't handle it. We will never be able to handle it. Still, He loves us with the fervor and conviction to gift us all with free will to make the decision to serve Him or not. He gives us a gift and says, "You don't have to return it, it is up to you." God tells some people more than others.
I would have had much more pain during my chemo cycles if I had to remember the concern, trepidation, and worry in my father's eyes. Instead, I had his strength to bolster mine and God's Power to keep going. We are all made differently, for if we were all the same, that would not glorify anyone's choice to choose God willingly.
By the way, the first book I ever read about someone's greater sacrifice (while in elementary school) - besides the Bible - was Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities." That novel blew me away and left me in silence. There are so many different ways of showing respect and love...
It is one thing to ‘deprive' someone when you know they can handle it, yet you just don't want to tell them ... and it is another to not tell someone something when you know they are already dealing with a lot of input/stress/life themselves. Mercy comes in many forms. For one, it is being allowed to pass away from life's pain and return to God. For another, it is being allowed to stay on earth as an example to others and fight as long as you can for what you believe in. For yet another - mercy is whatever causes me the least distress, and everyone else is on their own. Me first. Mercy is anything that favors me over you.
I do study the Bible. I do believe in God with all of my being. I want to hug, sing, and laugh with y'all in Heaven. I'm learning to work harder and rest hard, too. I'm learning not to feel guilty when my body says, "rest." I'm learning to crave fewer yummy sugary snacks. I'm trying to learn to treat others with the love and respect that I give myself - and see if they treat me in the same way. If we are not both Christians, the bond doesn't reciprocate and move forward our positive relationship. If we both don't fear and serve God, it will be evident that we are not in the same spiritual family.
I think I just typed about four pages here, let's see what happens when I hit the submit button...
Your sessna1
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I understand about not telling family. I told my Dad about the cancer, when I had to, but I still haven't told him that the pre--op testing showed that I have diabetes. He'll be 88 next month, and has beaten cancer twice. My Mom died of complications from diabetes a decade ago.
I shared what I knew he could handle, and I got all the support he was able to give. I am perhaps more aware of taking care of my diabetes and keeping as close to "normal" levels as possible than I would be if I hadn't seen what happened with my Mom, but there is no reason to have my Dad stress about that when there is nothing more that can be done than what I am already doing.
I also try not to mention the cancer thing to my brother if possible. His estranged wife died of it 6 months before I was diagnosed, after a decade of living with it, and he has had a very difficult time dealing with the loss and the guilt. The last thing I need is his misdirected anger aimed at me.
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Ok I have to admit I do understand about delaying the telling of bad news. When I was diagnosed it was right before Christmas when we open our home to family and friends for dinner. That year only Uncle Paul (Daves bro) showed up but we couldnt tell him. Daves sis Kim was getting married the next week and we did not want the news to ruin the wedding. We told them when they all got back from Australia.
When we told them nothing happened. No cards, no calls, no voiced offers of support. This went on for a couple of years. Then I told my MIL. So she gave me a card signed at a family function we were not invited to. It was covered in food slop (she put it on the buffet table for all to sign). But it meant nothing. She just didnt get it. Now they take me out and give me spending money for trips. Kristine paid for my quilting lessons. I try not to ask for too much. Emails and calls are nice now too. But the one that shines is my half sister Kathy. She calls me once a week and we occasionally get together. She is the best example of family support.
My hubby went through some hard times emotionally. I know that everyone of my family have walked the BC walk with me to some degree or another. He has not sat on the sidelines. And he feels that he has suffered watching me go through this.
He also feels that I am being selfish for wanting to go to Florida for a get together. He gave up the only day he goes to visit someone to nursemaid me after an operation. He did this freely. However now he feels I should not be wanting to go to florida. And we are maxing our money out to pay my daughters tuition = all of his holiday pay included. And I am not sharing the money that I am receiving for the trip. He understands that if someone gives me money for the trip it is for the trip and nothing else. He just doesnt think I am being fair.
Sessna1 you are a treasure beyond value. I just love the way you think.
I would love to hear more about the strong women of the past..... I have no grandmothers so I would love to hear about yours.
I am worried about "misdirected anger". But there is a time and place for everything, and it is up to each of us to contend to when that is. But stay safe by all means. He must have loved her very much to be so very angry.
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Ladies, and dreamwriter who is a spirit in my heart, not giving a child the keys to your car is not withholding from him the opportunity to step up to the plate and drive. He's just not ready.
Can we agree to disagree?
There are some crosses that are ours alone to bear. It hurts not to receive support where you had at least not seen the cruelty that was going to follow. Food all over a "We are thinking of you" card? Food stains on a card? I would have destroyed the thing myself and sent an arrangement of "You are in our prayers" flowers.
Many times, as with an amputee, you can't understand unless you have had something amputated. There is just no way for you to understand what having something cut off, cut out, or cut on... unless you have experienced it.
Women of Honor - A Series on Our Posting Board
This lady's name is The Lady, and she is one of my People Diamonds. She died at the age of 91, leaving a feisty granddaughter (K.) and a scrappy great half niece (me) to serve God and strive for synchronicity and fairness where she left off. She had a host of children and grandchildren.
This lady was born in Texas. Her mother married one brother, he died, and she married his brother. That is how our family has a line of "double first cousins." The lady said to me, "I don't believe in halfs, I have no half brothers, they are are whole to me." This lady said to me, "I was so impressed how my own father related to and cared about people that I wanted to be like him throughout my life." This lady sacrificed everything to give to her family and watched the two daughters that reciprocated her love in the most Christian way succumb to breast cancer and ovarian cancer. She had five children in all, and two miscarriages.
In Texas, when she was in her late teens, she watched her friends marrying and crying about woes of being a wife. She said to herself, "I'm not going to get married. What a lot of trouble and silliness." She married in her late 20's. The man fooled around on her and got some woman mad at him in Texas. He told The lady, we are moving to California with our children. She went with him. They came to Los Angeles, The husband started cheating again, and said, 'The lady, 'We are moving to Alaska with our children.' The lady said to him, "You go to Alaska, you son of a biscuit, but I am not going with you and neither are our children." They stayed in Los Angeles, California.
The lady's father was admirable, but something had gone wrong with her mother. I don't know if it was depression, mental illness, a mean spirit, or what. The lady's mother was given custody of my mother after my mother's mother was killed in a car accident. The lady's mother abused my mother, beat her with a water hose, and refused to pay for a nice dress for her for her high school graduation.
The lady took on the wrath of her mother and bough the material for my mother's high school graduation dress.
Before The lady passed from this mortal existence, I looked her in the eyes and said, "Don't you understand, if not for you, I wouldn't be me. You are instrumental in making me what I am, I can never repay, thank, or give you enough." She looked at me as if she was trying to figure out if I was serious - or if I was real. Then she just accepted my words and we continued our relationship until she died - we continue it onward today, as she is one of my life's heroes and inspirations.
Her son murdered his estranged wife. He went to prison, and was released years later. She raised his four children. In South Central Los Angeles, gangs and drugs are a draw. Soon after her God-fearing daughters died of cancers, some of her grandsons were placed in Inglewood Park Cemetery. My own mother is there, she died of cancer and complications in 1988.
Before she died, her remaining and oldest daughter tried to convince her that her granddaughters, that The lady had raised as her own children, were 'plotting against her.' She told The lady that they might be stealing from her bank account.
This is because the oldest daughter felt cheated out of her mother's love, time, and total attention because her mother took upon raising her grandchildren - her daughter's nieces and nephews, when their own mother's died. The oldest daughter was cruel to her mother during her mother's last years, and for that, God help me, I cannot forget or completely forgive her. I no longer speak to her. I hugged her at her mother's funeral service because I know how it feels when your mother dies - but I only hugged her as a human being, a Christian, and a daughter. I did not hug her in personal respect. I mourned her loss.
I cannot compare myself in anyway with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ's lineage was prophesized hundreds of years before His birth. I have to believe that my lineage was designed to include a number of these fierce, God-fearing, servant's hearted women. I have to believe there are men too, and many that I will not meet until I get to Heaven myself.
The lady, her energy, is part of the energy that keeps me going. I get up every morning, I rise, and I work because my mother and The lady can do that no longer. They rest and sleep until God opens up Heaven.
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I really do pray that we are not alienating any of our fellow posters by testifying.
I do not want any to perish and not enter Heaven, yet I know that all will not enter Heaven for their rejection of faith in the God or His Son.
For you who don't believe, and/or are not sure, ask Him to speak to you. Be silent, still, and peaceful, and ask God to enter your heart with the truth. Your eternal spirit and soul were meant for much better. So much better..
your sessna1
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Wow that is some testiment. I had a little difficulty following the lineage. But all in all there were rough times, strong women. However somewhere in there is abuse too. We all suffered this at some time.
I rarely speak of my mother. She adopted me when I was 5. I was a brat. I didnt understand the generosity but then I went through harsh times with both parents. My sister hated me.... This family tossed me out when I was 18 and I was glad to go. But along the way I really really wanted a mother. So I collected teachers. My daughters godmother taught me in high school and I have a college teacher I have known 20 yrs. They helped fill in the love I needed so badly.
Now I have the love of my half sister. We met because our names came up on the adoption registry. We met our brother but he couldnt stand either of us. Over the years Kathy has been a constant. She calls weekly. I held her hand through her breast surgery because I WANTED TO (and her hubby is an idiot). Its too bad we cant pick our parents. I would have got what I needed. I may have been a better mother to both my children. I dunno.
There are plenty of women who should be celebrated right here. And we do honor our sisters.
I may be a strange duck but I have the love of many right here.
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dreamwriter, you do have the love of many right here. Yes, you do.
I see that using "her" can throw a person off in following my true account. I did try my best to be succinct. ...sigh...
It sounds like your sister saw you as a rival rather than a partner, friend, and sibling. No one had perfect parents, no matter what they claim. You wisely collected the best mother's hearts that you found.
I believe that God picks your parents - for a reason. I think that you have something to learn, receive, overcome from the best and worst of influences in your life. Some people go into law enforcement to work for justice and fairness for others that they did not get and want to be part of administering. Some go too far - they become part of the problem and corrupt the system and themselves. Some betray ethics because, "If they charged you, you must be guilty. Let's make up some evidence." Some prejudices and bigotry taint the way you see others, no matter what your profession, occupation, job, or position.
We have the choice how to react and behave towards the best and worst in our life - and that choice is what others see and remember. Your life is a testimony - one way or another. It wouldn't make sense to give you more than you can bear because that would clear the hall of potential 'converts.' (small smile, here.)
If you are going to ask a lot of me, you need to promise me a lot, too. You have to be honorable, faithful, reliable, noble, and just. I have to be able to respect you. You have to be respectable. Hypocrites need not apply. You need to be consistent. You need to do the right thing - no matter what. like anything earthbound could ever fulfill that... it begs the existence of Deity and demons.
We have multiple fires going on here in California, and it is just too hot. I'll bet millions of snails have died for lack of moisture in our yards.
It rained for Ted Kennedy's service. That's a way for angels to cry without being seen by us. He was far from perfect, as we all are, however, he did a bang up job of giving back and serving. Rest in Peace, Mr. Kennedy. I'll see you there.
sessna1 - aka Goose to the duck
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Boy alot of posts. I was busy w/ my aunt and sister for a few days, then Sunday I had to go to a seminar fpr CCD teachers. Back to school today and back to work for me!!!!!
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Dearest Sessna1
My words seem inadequate to express my appreciation to you, from the deepest part of my heart, Angel
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Sessna, it is sometimes difficult to follow your streamofconciousness style of writing, but I find it is always worthwhile to persevere to get a glimpse of your beautiful spirit that always shines through.
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How do I get my family/friends to understand that there is such a thing as post-chemo/radiation fatigue. They think I'm nuts/lazy because I can't/don't do anything. Friday night I went to bed at 5:30 PM and slept until Saturday at 9:00 AM and still wasn't rested. They seem to think that the SEs are gone as soon as treatment is done and I feel like a malingerer when I tell them I still don't feel 100%
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