Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Interrupting this thread.
Sending out a call to the old timer 'What sux?' sisters.
Saint's birthday is coming up. I'm attempting to orchestrate a shower of birthday cards to encourage her and boost her energy.
She's recently completed the protocal of 10 rads treatments to her brainstem in an effort to restore some normal sight, but no blip from that effort as of yet.
If you're willing to send her a card. Please PM me for her address.
Her actual birthday is March 9th, but it doesn't especially matter when the card would get there... tho the sooner the better, as she has already 'out-lived' all of her doctors best guesses.
Thanks.
Now return to your normal programming.
xx00xx00xx00xx
Strength and courage.
Strength and courage.
Strength and courage.
And as she would say: "Be well and stay strong."
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Awwww Connie! tHAT sux!!!!!! Prayers for all those who need it (and who doesn't!!).
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Thanks Ya'll. You All. Everyone, for the sympathy, I'm a little more active today, but it's cold and raining outside, that's kinda how I feel on the inside. You know how if you soak in a hot bath or stay in the pool for a while your finger tips get all crinkly? Like they are shriveling up? I feel like that on the inside, like my guts are shriveling up and no amount of dry or wet will fix it.
That's a stupid analogy. but, hey, who said they have to make sense?
Hope everybody has less SUCKAGE today.
~Connie
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That was a great analogy Connie! Now what can you put inside yourself to plump up again? Hot tea, hot chocolate, coffee?
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Connie...I think it was a great analogy too! I'm sorry you have so much going on...I almost feel bad that all I can do is say "cheers" and empty my wine glass on your behalf!
Barbe - You just about caused me to p my pants on Saint's thread -between your holy shit and your marijuana
Thanks girl, I needed that!I have no new suckage - just the same old aches and pains...tonight I am letting my heart med be just a little less effective so I can take a mild pain med with a glass of wine. I desperately need a few hours of relief from my ankle pain today...I think the time has come to stop putting off surgery and get it done.
I hope there aren't any more IOS's out there than what we've put down already...a few days off for all of the ladies here would be welcome!
Sessna...how's your life ?
Hugs ladies...
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{{{{{Connie}}}}}
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Hey ladies, I'm all in for the fluffy chocolate mousse fill to round me out!! If not that then I'll take a shot of Tequila with lime.
Elizabeth, I don't know how you manage to not only stay cheerful and active, but to have hugs for my crap. i'm so, so sorry for your crappy news, I can't even imagine what will be happening to/for you next. I hope you are happy with the medical team you have and they do everything possible to bring you to remission. BTW, what's a kona? You inspire me. Want you to know that.
Barbe, you inspire me too. After all you've been through. If I could get up there and throw you a party, I would. For you and your dh.
Navygirl, can you direct me to the holy shit and maryjane that Barbe made you crack up? THX
Women are strong. WE women are strong. And when one falls, we gather to help her up again. Reading in here give me strength to deal with all the others crap.
.~Connie
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Connie, someone was praying for the poop God to help her "go". I told her I knew him well enough to call him Holy Sh
t!Then when someone needed something to give her an appetite it was suggested that she took this drug that began with the letter "M". I guessed marijuana, but apparently that was wrong! Don't know why it was wrong, it always makes ME hungry!
Glad you are plumping up!
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I have endless hugs for you Connie! I like you! Kona refers to Kona coffee -- the most rich, delicious coffee from the big island of Hawaii. Kat -- is for cat -- I love my cat.
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My heart goes out to all of you. I have to admit that in some perverse way, it made me happy to find a place where bitching and moaning is OK. I'm a recent diagnosis with a good prognosis, but because of a family history with breast cancer of practically epidemic propostions and dense breasts that make detection very difficult, I'm headed for a dmx on April 6th w/TE. Please tolerate me this one time to list what's going on in my life. I'm so tired of being strong and maintaining a facade, I could scream. I'm going to take advantage of this, whether anyone wants to read or respond or not. I just need to vent! Did I happen to mention that I have bc? Got my diagnosis about 2 weeks after my husband moved out after a long drawn out separation process. My 85-year old mother lives 600 miles away and has dementia. We're getting ready to force her to move, has become unsafe for her. I have 3 (wonderful!) children, the middle one has been suffering from stress/anxiety induced seizures since early fall. Try adding "your parents are separating" and "I have bc" to your child's stress load. She is being treated, which has been a long, drawn out, frustrating medical process in itself. I work for a non-profit program with major cash flow problems, can't get insurance through work, am still on my husband's. We're not finalizing the divorce to keep me on his insurance. He is being very good about that. No insurance in the near future at work, will be lucky to have a job. So, after things settle down, I'm a 50-year old who's going to have to find a full-time job with group insurance benefits after bc. I can't think about that too much at the moment, but it looms on the horizon. I've always been a focused, responsible, stong, upbeat, optimistic person of faith. I still have my faith, but I'm beginning to see how some people crawl into bed, pull up the covers, and stay there for a while. It sucks! It sucks for all of us being piled with such crap! It just sucks and I don't want to be strong every minute of the day for everyone else. Thank you for letting me have a place to say this. Now I have to go to a meeting and be professional and strong.
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Candy - you deserve a place to bitch. Come here anytime and know that you will be listened to and loved.
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Candy,
That SUX!
Feel free to come here anytime and bitch. Venting is not a one time process, but it helps every time you do it.
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Connie07 - If this is a new rif with the S-I-L, or an old one..., please pray about it and ask her to tell you in Christian love if it is her choice (feelings) or reasons that she could help you understand.
Don't let it drive a wedge ... further. It's only more SUXage for you.
DD1, sigh. Women don't attract strange guys, ladies, they go after them. You have to save yourself for a man who will die for you and protect you, not some bad boy that maybe you can tame.
The money pit. The house. Just when you think you've saved a litte (or not), The pit opens.
The house cats are in rebellion. Have they both been fixed?
Unable to tell DH the truth. Not a positive thing.
COBRA. Say no more, say no more, but I knew it was worse. I have a little healthcare field background, and Human Resources experience.
Meds - ladies, let us join hands with our sister and send up the angry howl for the price of medication.
No pity party, Connie07. You are on an active anthill. That is major SUXage.
You must feel overwhelmed, and I know that is an awful place to be to try to hold it together.
Your analogy said that perfectly.
Oh! barbe1958, you are worth twice your weight in jewels. You are kind to those who believe in God and His Holiness and bleep out a letter of the word. Yes.
navygirl, thank you. Life is getting better because I am forcing myself to be kinder to myself. "I am not perfect, and I don't have to be. I will do my best. I am not perfect and I don't have to be. I will do my best." Do my best. You can't control anyone, you can only change yourself.
CandyB, please hold still while I place a SSS (Strong SUXage Sister) badge upon you. We don't use pins, so no one gets stuck during the appreciation ceremony.
Hugs, ladies, strong, warm, sincere hugs.
-sessna1
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You have a right to feel bitchy or morn or groan if you want. I felt women that have not gone through,going through the chemo or any phrase of cancer treatment that they could not comfort or tell me anything and I did not want to hear them. But I know that they did not know what to say to me but they wanted to supportive and believe they understand my frustration.
I am glad you feel better
and know I care and other sisters do also. Here is a big hugMyra
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Sessna, I believe very highly in God! He has a pretty good sense of humour you know....
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Heading to the beach for a few days to hangout with 40 college kids. Can't wait. Beer pong anyone?
Keep the suckage to a minimum while I'm gone.
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I find it amazing that even in the midst of all the suckage...we have not lost our sense of humor!
Candy...if you can't b*tch here, no one can! Holy Mackerel you're in the thick of it! I was touched that even with all you have going on, you still showed concern for your daughter and how this might be affecting her. **Sigh*** if only all mothers thought that way. I'm glad to hear that you are able to stay on your husbands insurance for now, no need to make EVERYTHING happen at once. Have no fear, sometimes you just don't f/n want to be nice about crap reigning down on you...here you don't have to be. And we won't take it personally or tell you to cheer up. And if we do, you can tell us where to stick it
Sessna...I think I wish we could meet for happy hour...I think I would laugh the whole time even though I don't - ok, rarely, drink!
Elizabeth... Kona is my FAVORITE coffee too
I'm glad that's part of what's behind your name because I think of it everytime I see your avatar, that and chocolate cake!Barbe...I laughed my arse off all over again reading your comments again here...just too funny for the money!
BooBee, if you're spending a few days with that many kids...you will need that beer bong! That's just crazy talk right there...I think I'd have to have the stuff that gives you munchies too.
I'm heading to Philly this weekend folks so I won't be around until Monday again...I hope you guys enjoy your weekend if I don't get time on the pc tomorrow night...
HUGS..........
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Connie - am sending you a hug.... my eldest went through a stage from about 15 to 19 where we had no control, no influence, and she moved out twice... then she got pregnant and changed overnight. Suddenly she was somebody - and it was a GOOD thing. I got a grandchild and she settled down and lives in same apt bldg so we can help her. There is hope that your three children will be able to settle their problems and probably with little or no help from you. So call some friends to help you clean, put on some 70s music and boogie. Once you have cleaned the areas where the children are permitted during the party, you will feel a smidge better. It is something WITHIN your control. As for the cats theres this collar (Im getting it for one of mine) and it has a scent that calms the cat and reduces nasty behaviour. PetSmart has it. Read about it on another thread. And she said it smells good and it works.
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I'm going to petsmart in the morning to look for that collar. I found a site called cat fairies and they sell something to put in their food and/or water.
I did clean, thanks for the boost. And I shopped and then I kept the baby all afternoon. It certainly makes one feel better when the house is clean. Has anyone seen that service, cleaning for a reason? they clean houses for women who are undergoing treatment. WHAT a Blessing!!
This is the same crap with S-I-L, he's so unreliable, untrustworthy, and he thinks he's being a good guy when he gives her any money. I'm just about up-to-here (eyeballs) with all this. And
then the stomach flu came to town and one great-grandmother probably won't be able to come to the baby's party because her assisted living home is on 'lockdown', no one coming in, no one going out, except the help and they are all wearing haz-mat suits. DD and GrandD got it this week and I stayed away as long as I could, but she called yesterday afternoon, in tears, the baby had been crying for 2 hours and she had been sick (both ends) all night long. I had to go to her. Took chicken soup, crackers, pedialyte which I didn't expect to have to buy, then I bought the cake for the birthday party. Then I had to go buy the rest of the groceries cause the baby's daddy was supposed to do that and .... that's right. he did not. I picked up his slack again. And then I went and bought a fruit and cheese tray and the ice cream.
Now... Welcome CandyB... you need to vent.. BRING IT. We can take all you got. And it's a oddly sick pleasure knowing that the rest of us are as messed up as we are.
~Connie
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Connie, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I wanted to offer one possible option as far as the insurance problem. I was diagnosed six weeks after my husband lost his job of 20+ years, along with our medical insurance. We couldn't afford the COBRA coverage so I had already turned it down before the diagnosis. But my doctor told me about a federal program called the NATIONAL BREAST AND CERVICAL CANCER EARLY DETECTION PROGRAM. It provides insurance coverage for breast and cervical cancer detection as well as treatment. Each state is a little different but in Tennessee where I live the coverage was basically the same as what we had before my husband lost his job. It was Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance so it was accepted by almost all doctors. It was a life saver for us until my husband could find another job with insurance. It pays from diagnosis all the way through treatment.
Here is the address for the website. Sorry I couldn't get the actual link to copy here for some reason so you will have to cut and paste. Good luck.
www.cdc.gov/cancer/nbccedp/
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I am not one to complain (maybe its the Femara kicking in) but here it is anyway. Why did my husband have to tell his ex that I have BC? I have told a total of three people and he tells his whole family- The worst part of this has been dealing with everyone asking "how I am." I am trying to work and and move forward but I can't take it anymore- I am also tired of people who know looking at my chest (which has not changed since I had a lumpectomy). I am ready to say things I should'nt-
And why does everything have to be pink- I have never worn pink in my life
OK- I feel better now-
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Dear tic -
Please do not be too hard on your husband. First of all, whether you asked him to keep this confidential and private before now is the second point. The first point is that people find it hard to keep such life altering information inside of them. [Granted and noted appreciatively that this is your life.] They seek comfort out from others for their discomfort. It's a tricky situation.
The only way I controlled my Public Address network was to keep it a secret for over seven months. I couldn't risk anyone telling my immediate family before I did. I got tons of support from this board and my mentor from the Long Beach Memorial Medical Center Breast Friends Program.
Your chest needs a button that says, "I'm up here. My eyes and yours should be, too."
Would be nice if an arrow was drawn on it pointing upward. How rude, though. It was rude enough having some miscreants stare at our chests pre-surgery, but now, you have some that are "aware of your surgery" looking at you. That's just rude. I bet they stared at all the pictures of Christina Applegate (the actor) that they could get their hands on.
I will tell you why I am grateful that the color chosen was pink: it's not my favorite color. What if it had been yours? Now wouldn't that have cheesed you off? (I'm told that is a Scottish expression for yanking your chain.)
You are going through a lot of trials, information, emotions, feelings, and changes. Be kind to yourself. Look at the others and read my closing tag lines below. Maybe the others are put here to help them get a clue.
Writing to our peers often helps us feel better. Welcome to the boards.
-sessna1
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ANN Thank You most graciously, that is the first really good lead,I will Pick up that lead and run with it. I love this place.good luck to you on this road.
Tic in Pa. - Welcome to the club. Its much easier since I found this place. You won't find better support,. About your DH, it probably makes him feel somehow relieved when he tells someone about whats happening. whom ever he tells would be obligated to give him a hug and a Oh I'm SO sorry. That may be a good thng for him, but I understand you not wanting everyone to know. It truly is nobody else's business. Sympathy or not. TELL him it bothers you. He is just a man after all.
Also, you'll get used to the pink. But you don't have to like it.
~C
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I am so not able to sleep. MRI of ankle shows mass in bone marrow. Why? Why? Why? Now I will be a nervous wreck until this is resolved. Do we ever reach a point where we don't think "cancer" ??? Just like most breast lumps, most bone and bone marrow issues are benign, but considering how well thAt worked out for me with my boobs, it doesn't make me feel better. So glad I see dr on monday. Ugh.
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glad you see the dr. on monday also....I wish I didn't wake up with it and go to sleep with it, will that every happen...
Sandy
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Crap Navy! How the heck did you find that out without them telling you what it is?
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Connie, Candy, Tic, Navygirl -- big SUX!!!!!
I have this g/f who won't accept that all this BC is wearing me down, making me tired. She keeps nagging me, telling me if I went out more I'd feel better. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that...and she knows it. She's in denial!!! I'm supposed to go for pizza with her tomorrow, if she gets to nagging again I may have to kill her. I'm usually pretty easy going but once I'm backed into the corner one too many times I will be nasty. I no longer want to waste any time doing things I don't want to do, be with people who annoy me. Time is precious and I want to do (or not do) what I want, everyone else can f-off!!! Growl...
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Send her a link to this forum. Perhaps her understanding will increase when she's read a few posts .
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I know I would NOT want a KONAKAT angry at me.
Who the hell does she think she is anyway, Dr. No It All? Does she have a personal experience, I doubt it. YOU GO.. LIZ.... GROWL, SNARL AND TELL HER WHAT'S WHAT. And if she want's to continue to be in your aquantaince, then she'd better get on the Support Train, or she's gonna get pushed off by an Angry Konakat!.. and the rest of us will be right behind you, like a giant brick wall. You have the power of the mighty and powerful BC women. .. . watch out, bitch.
She'd better buy your pizza too.
But if you want to be nice about it, do, send her a link, see if she reads it. I prefer to grind her up and spread her out on the lawn like so much fertilizer.
~Connie
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Connie...tell us how you REALLY feel...
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