Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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I have heard that depression is anger turned inward, so I guess my family was definitely NOT depressed... Not funny, I know and I do not mean to offend anyone. Maybe that is why I rant and rave at times, throw things, stomp and let it out. I tell people I "shoot from the hip" and you will never have to wonder if I am upset over something. I tell it like it is, most of the time...
Change of subject: I am allergic to chocolate and not much else satisfies the sweet tooth. I got a box of Lemon Bars supreme mix - brand name KRUSTEAZ. Soooo easy, quick, add 1/3 cup water, 3 eggs and they are better than the ones I have made from scratch. They also have wild blueberry, cranberry orange, cinnamon struesal and key lime - have not tried any of them yet.
Time to catch up on emails and run a load of laundry. Hugs for all, Nancy
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Nancy - the brand is pretty good - anything I've made from them has turned out well.
I think the world is going crazy, people are behaving badly and surprised when called on it, there is a real lack of common courtesy, morals, ethics you name it. I find that rather sad. Pride in ownership, pride in workmanship, work ethic, hard work, personal responsibility - where did it all go? So much happening that we can not or do not control yet we must live with the consequences.
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AT least it's being talked about now. There is vast information to help you talk to your kids and share lessons that they need. I had practice sessions with my kids letting them shout, NO, and, THIS IS NOT MY DADDY. I gave them permission to scream like a banchee if a stranger tried to get them, touch them or take them. It never happened, but I was confident that they would make a noticable ruckus should it occur.
I'm so tired today. Coming to you for strength. Kinda glad it's so cold, good excuse to just cuddle up and chill out. Things have been so stressed and sad lately, I've been really good about being cheerful and keep on keeping on. Just so tired.
~Connie0 -
Time to shut down and take care of Connie for a while. {{{{{{{ Gentle hugs }}}}}}}}}}}
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I was sexually abused as a child, repeatedly, by my best friend's father. I didn't tell because my father always said that if anybody ever hurt his child, HE would go to jail for killing the person and I didn't want my father to go to jail. It was a horrible experience and I have had years of therapy. BUT, I think it made me the person I am today...somebody with a real burden for young people. I legally adopted my 15 year-old babysitter after her father beat her and I have taken in numerous other young people who have needed a safe place to stay. I don't know if I would have that burden if I hadn't gone through that. I try to use every experience, good or bad, including cancer, that happens to me as a learning experience and an opportunity for growth.
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What an amazing group of wise women. My PM's have been going nuts this past several days with women that have experienced the same thing. Do you think it would be okay for me to start a new thread about child molestation or is this not the right venue. I fear that dealing with cancer is more than enough for a soul do contend with at one time.
Lefty...You know that's what I love about you. (Shoot from the hip)
Connie...I don't remember talking to my kids about that either. I'm 46...not that old.
OMG Jane. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that said. I wouldn't have said anything either as a child. You are so right about being a better person in spite off.
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Jane ... your approach to life is akin to mine; however I am not one to suffer in silence! And really, I don't need or want another "f------ing opportunity!" I don't mean to be light about this because I have learned alot about me during this time. Things I needed to learn.
Nancy ... I shot from the hip too but most people didn't care for my approach! Now I don't jump into any drama. I just don't have the energy. Plus, and it took me a long time to figure this one out, most people don't want their problems solved (both professionaly and personal). Then they wouldn't have any more excuses.
Nancy ... Where do you buy that brand?
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Kathleen, I have found Krusteaz brand at Safeway, Giant and Harris Teeter. Some have more variety than others. The lemon bars were not with the regular cake mixes, but on a top shelf in the cake mix section. My brother told me he found some cookies ones, but he is in Pittsburgh...
I have been both praised and criticized for my "bluntness" or honesty. Oh well, can't please all the people all the time !! I AM going out later to bingo - gotta get my gambling "fix" and get OUT of this apartment and stretch my legs. I also had all tx and surgery at Georgetown.
TGIF, Nancy
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Hey,
I went shopping for the before the snow fell here night, feeling the need to bake something to make the house smell good and warm up the kitchen as well as, well, have something good to eat and I saw the Krusteaz brand in my Food Lion and bought it because YOU SAID IT WOULD BE GOOD, Haven't baked it yet, but am looking forward to Cranberry Orange Muffins on sunday.
thanks. ~Connie
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Krusteaz!! That's it! I found the mixes in one of our local grocery stores. Made the "Cinnamon Crumb Cake," and it was fabulous. Didn't seem like a box cake at all -- it was really moist, tender, and rich.
Yummmm...
otter
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I made 2 batches of Lemon Bars and took to bingo. I cut them into one inch squares and told people to come back for a second one if they wanted. Within an hour there were NONE left.
If someone asks for the recipe, tell them it is an old family recipe... Enjoy, Nancy
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Oh, I am SOOOOOO looking forward to getting home. There's a box of Krusteaz lemon bar mix sitting in my pantry, waiting to be baked.
Sorry, Traci -- all this talk about yummy snacks doesn't really fit with the spirit of your thread!
otter
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I love Krusteaz Orange Cranberry muffins, but I'm now gluten-intolerant (before BC) and that SUCKS! I did find a Betty Crocker gluten-free brownie mix that was quite delicious. But I had to freeze half of it so I don't gain any more weight!
So there's my contribution to bringing this thread back to its original bitch session roots!
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I think we can call the above SOI or Suckiness Otherwide Inverted. and a bit of That Sucks as needed.
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Happy V day ladies.
Can anyone tell me if it's generally acceptable to change your name in the chat forums? I've been doing some volunteer work at our local cancer center and I'd prefer that I maintain my anonymity here should any of the BC patients join up. My sister in law also checks in here from time to time.
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Renee, I think it would be perfectly fine if you change your your name. Once in awhile you may want to identify who you used to be. Your reasons sound perfectly legit to me. 0 -
I can't believe BooBee was available. I'll leave my photo up for a short time until everyone gets used to it.
ReneeS
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That's a great screen name!
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I love BooBie but whatever you change your name to, you will still be a fantastic person. Just dont go away.
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Thanks Dream. You made my day.
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I'm not much for lemon, but I think the Cinnamon Crumb Cake sounds delish! I usually make a cinnamon coffee cake, from scratch... but, it is really not too hard to make...
Harley
PS I think BOO BEE is a GREAT NAME!!
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Dear Ladies,
See why I need to come here? The only group of ladies that understand SUCKAGE are here!
Is there an acronym for upset oncology patient? (UOP).
I have not been on the boards for a while. Not because I am swell but because I'd been working toward a meltdown. So there I was, covers up over my head, crying in bed and I said to myself, "What is a really bothering you?"
I should know my personality by now. It has been said, "It is not the elephant that gets you it's the ants." It's not the big things that bring you down it's a bunch of little things.
So, I said, "Self, what have you been doing to de-stress?" Myself said, "I haven't been on the boards!"
So here I am. I am sorry that I neglected my support group. I am very sorry. I apologize. Please forgive me, and I will do better.
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It may appear to be a small thing, but I can't get my infusion scheduling straight with the City of Hope. Last October (yes, last October), my oncologist changed my intervals from 3 weeks to 4 weeks. Then, I missed an appointment in November. That threw my schedule out of whack, and it can't be fixed "one appointment interval at a time," which is what some scheduler (or more) is trying to do to fix it. The doctors have to fill out a TSR document to change a patien'ts schedule, but if it's not on the TSR, a scheduler person can't make the change. Now, if the scheduler is the one who reads the TSR incorrectly, nothing's going to get fixed because the schedulers will refer you back to your doctor for yet ANOTHER TSR. IF you don't see your oncologist but every 3 months, the problem never gets resolved.
"Oh, sessna1, we thought you were tougher than that!"
Me, too. See, Connie07 is one of the ladies here who is going through REAL purgatory. Trial after trouble after trial after the unknown. Here is my small list of suckage:
- Mid 2009, Dad starts losing weight. Has digestion problems. Drops 30 lbs.(with out exercise), demeanor changes.
- It comes to the forefront that Dad has neglected yearly doctor appointments under the guy-type-guy rule, "If is ain't broke, don't fix it."
- I feel guilty for not nagging him all these years. I wonder why his lady friend hasn't been nagging him about preventive care health appointments. I go back to feeling guilty that I have not been doing so.
- Dad goes to appointments with Gastroenterology specialists, Colorectal Surgeon, and Family practitioner. Dad has colonoscopy. One polyp cannot be removed with the scope, it's surgery time. I go with him to his appointments and write down instructions and notes. I become appointment coordinator for my Dad and myself.
- November 2009, Dad has colon surgery. They find cancer in appendix, remove cancer.
- December 14, 2009, Dad has appointment with oncologist. Dad feels very bad physically and calls me to cancel appt. for him. I do. I talk to Dad that afternoon, he sounds so bad that I called his colorectal surgeon's nurse and she calls Dad. She orders him to the ER. I drive Dad to ER. (Did I mention that I drove myself to the ER in March and August 2009? oh. Okay.)
- December 14, 2009, Dad goes back in hospital, complications of surgery: resolving ilius. They put tube down his nose and consider more surgery (opening him up). PRAYERS GO UP from many people. Doctors delay further surgery, problem stabilizes. It was not lazy bowel, obstruction, or blockage (possible diagnoses).
- December 25, 2009 I got to City of Hope for Herceptin infusion and my messed up infusion schedule rears it ugly head. I get no infusion. I have wasted my time, and 52 miles round trip. It's been 3 weeks since the last one, not 4. I call my oncologist's nurse and get appointment for December 4.
- Oncologist's nurse gets next infusion appointment scheduled 4 weeks from Dec 4, 2009, but the labs appointment that day is messed up. Labs always before infusion. Take blood before get prescription medicine infusion. I sit 1 hour in the Main Lab before they say, "Oh, your appointment here was cancelled by your oncologist's nurse. Go to floor 3." Floor 3 says, oh, no, we have to take blood. Now you are late for your infusion appointment. You can sit here and listen while they keep calling your name (3x) over the PA system, then, you can go over there.
- My refrigerator has a water drain problem. I went on the Internet for advice on fixing it. I took out the panel in back of the freezer, poured in hot water, didn't help.
- My washing machine's indoor water valves start leaking. Which one? Cold or Hot? Why, both. I am already having trouble with the hot water setting within the machine. I find out on the Internet that the part that regulates hot water (water inlet valve) often goes out on machines sooner than later. So, do I get a plumber or a washing machine repair guy first? Okay, a plumber first.
- I have become my Dad's part time meals-on-wheels to get him to eat better. I shop 40% for his food and prepare dishes. I worry that he will lose more weight. We are to be monitored at his oncologist's office, by labs/blood tests, MRIs.
- I tried to get my own infusion scheduling problem fixed at my January appt., and the scheduler at the window said, "I will call you. I'll get back to you." I knew she wouldn't call me... I receive a copy of my future schedule in the mail from the City of Hope. It is wrong.
I melt down. Return to top of this post, there began my status as of this afternoon.
NOW I will go read my sister's and community friend's posts... like I should have never slacked up on doing!
sessna1
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Wholly crap Sessna....that's some suckage. Sorry darlin. You are officially at the bottom of the dog pile.
Huggs
Renee S
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I feel much better after typing. I also have felt like a lousy Christian for not trusting God to work all of this out. Worrying does not help. Re-realized that pets have one other important function - they sit with you when you cry, and if they are really kind, they let you cry into their fur.
Connie 07, bless your heart. Who was Kbugmom, please? I did a search, and you only mention her once? 2/5/2010
Whoaaaa. The molestation incident is horrible. I'm sure that more children (now adults) were molested by others than we'll ever know about. I think molesters have allowed something sick into their spirits. Jail time doesn't get that out of you.
Thank you, BooBee. From my heart, thank you
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I'm kinda linking my new identity. I wish I had this function in middle school.
Renee S
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Sessna ... that isn't little things that is big things. Not only do you have to look after your health but someone else's. I can empathize with you as patience has never been one of my virtues. To have to go back and forth on your schedule is asinine. In your case, you cannot be the only patient who ever missed an appointment at City of Hope. They need a better system. You have both the refrigerator and the washer kind of out of commission. Your preparing meals not just in your house but your father as well. And when they tell you they will call you - it is just like saying the check is in the mail or I'm from the government - I'm here to help you. You definitely need ranting and raving girlfriend! If I had but one of those things happen I would be in meltdown mode.
BTW .. I have to find those packaged goodies. You are making my mouth watering!
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Are those goodies available in Canada.... should I check Walmart?
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dream, if you google Krusteaz, there is a store locator but I am not sure if Canada is covered. It gave the address of stores in my area.
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Dream..if a little Krusteaz is all you need to make you happy - just let me know, I have lemon and keylime in my cupboard, and I am sure I can get other flavors for you at the safeway here. I'd be more than happy to mail you some
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HEY... WHERE DID EVERYONE GO???? HAVE WE FINISHED BITCHING, MOANING AND GROANING?
Serioiusly, if nobody has any moaning to do.... that's great...
somehow, I feel a calm before the storm.
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