Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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navy, im so sorry, for you, your whole family..maci was very loved..even here where we were praying for y'all..0
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Hello and good bye on the same day.....how heart-ripping sad! But poignant....may God hold her gently in His hands and brush her brow and give her peace.
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Thank you ladies, it's taken me a month to even be able to post about it, but the whole family has come to terms with the loss and we celebrate what time we had with her. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that precious little girl and marvel at the faith and strength her parents have shown during this whole journey.
Barbe, you'll never know how much happiness it brought me to see you holding your grandson. Losing Maci so quickly was hard, but I believe in life eternal and I know I will see her some day. Knowing you had two beautiful grandchildren to celebrate, back to back no less, gave me such peace and happiness. Cherish them, as I know you will, because it's a miracle and a gift and I'm so happy that everything went ok for your family.
I just got back from class and logged on to check in and do my homework, and saw that Elisabeth Edwards passed away this morning. I must say, I'm just stunned that she's gone so quickly after finding out she had stopped treatment. My prayers tonight are for her family and her, that she may rest in peace.
(((hugs))) ladies...
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navygirl....so sorry for your loss. Grand children are great to have but harder to let go of. My daughter lost a child a couple years back. She wasn't quite to term when she started having contractions. They hadn't found out the sex cuz she wanted a girl so bad (only has boys). The damn nurse came in and told her...sorry she didn't make it. My daughter was so devastated it took her a few years to even get up the courage to try again. May God bless and he will keep her in his arms. She is now a little angel. Also so sorry to hear @ Elisabeth Edwards. May god bless her.0
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Thanks Leisa...I can't imagine the horror of having to endure what your daughter did. That's so unbelievable, I can't even find the words to express my heartache over the thought of it. I'm so glad your daughter was able to get to a place where she could move on. I must say, as horrible as it was to lose Maci, at least we knew going into this that the only chance of her survival after being born was a miracle from God. I'm grateful we knew what was coming because it allowed us to value the time we had and do some of the things we ordinarily would have waited until she was brought into the world to do.
I'm going to put this out on a thread too, for a wider audience so to speak, but I need your input on a problem ladies...
My onc had agreed to give me darvocet to alleviate some of the joint pain issues I've been having. They are definitely cyclical - with the onset of winter they just become unbearable until spring when things seem to calm down to a level where I can get by without the darvocet. Previously, I had the prescription for my ankle -but that's no longer necessary and I've been off on of it since April. Now, without it, as winter sets in, I realize just how much it was helping with my other joint issues from the AI's. The problem is that the FDA yanked the darvocet the same day my onc called in the prescription. Since I still had some vicoden from surgery back in April, I've been using that on the really bad days. I spoke to my orthopaedic on Monday when I went in for an ankle follow up and he recommended I switch to vicoden and take 1/2 a pill 2x a day to keep the joint pains under control. For the most part, I've been taking 2400mg of tylenol or aleve - and only using the vic. at night when it's really bad. The problem is, when I phoned the onc. today to let them know what my orthopaedic recommended, they don't want to put me on it for long term. They agreed to give me enough to hold me over until I see them in January - but I'm really frustrated that it seems like I'm going to have to plead my case in order to stay on it. I can't take codiene based meds - I'm allergic, I can't take tramadol - it affected me in a way I can only describe as emotional hell. I think if the oncologist is concerned about me either a) masking pain that I would otherwise notice and report to her or b) become addicted to it, that we ought to be able to work out a dose schedule that allows me to have relief with intermittent periods of being off of it to see if new pain or dependancy is developing. Does this sound like a reasonable request? Do any of you know of another pain medication that's not a derivitive of codiene -and doesn't have any greater risk of dependancy? It puzzles me that they will give us anti-depressants for mood issues and hot flashes, nausea meds to counter act stomach upset from the AI's, xanex or valium for anxiety, but they won't give me a low dose pain med like vicoden if they were ok with me taking darvocet. If her concerns are masking pain or increased risk of dependancy, I understand that and I'm willing to work around it -but i just can't accept that they want me to take that little anti-cancer pill every day without giving me something to make the joint pain tolerable! I could smoke pot or use alcohol to numb myself..but really, those are way, way worse than what I'm asking for, IMHO.
You're input would be much appreciated - I have to go back to the onc in early January. I've talked to my partner and she's going to go with me so that if they are really resistant to it and ticking me off, she can take over and facilitate the conversaton or validate the issues I've been living with. Sorry to make this so long, I'm just so bummed that with Darvocet off the market I may not have anything to help me get through this.
As always, hugs to you all..
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Navy, please don't worry about becoming addicted. QOL is more important than worrying about that. As well, you'd know by now if you had an addict personality. I thought I did, but years ago when I was taking Oxycodone, they thought they'd have to put me in the hospital to get off it (narcotic equivalent of 25 Percocets a day!) but as the pain eased I actually got nauseaous! So my body took over and weaned me off the meds.
I'm on so many more pain meds now that what happened 10 days ago has given me a heads up. I mentioned to someone at work that it felt like the skin on the back of my right knee felt really stretched. Well, I got home and my knee was all swollen! I stayed in bed but in the morning my knee was even bigger! The x-rays showed I was bone-on-bone, but the pain meds had kept me from knowing it so I kept walking. Very scary. How does my back and hip pain break through then?????
So, I seem to be contradicting myself by saying yes/no, but my point is just listen to your body. You have the right to be pain-free and we have the pharmacology. Use your "mommy voice" and they'll give you what you need. If not, sic your partner on them!!! She'll go to bat for you and validate your pain level for the docs. I have my DH do that for me so I don't look like I'm faking it. He tells them that he sometimes has to help me off the bed, or out of the car or even undress me. They believe him.
Good luck sweetie, you deserve to be pain free.
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please, i won't get into what i take to handle my joint pain!!! i see a pain specialist, and if you have ins. get thee to one... absolutely, Barbe is right, QOL IS the issue. we've been "hurted " enuff!! and, if you're really concerned, remember 2 imp things.. you can always take 1/2 your dose 2xs a wk.. and then get rest.. that will interupt the "addiction" cycle.. it's actually what the DEA recommends for any controlled substance. Tuesday is my down day here... and ive not had one problem for yrs now. even lessen the dose in summer. the MS is much more painful in winter, even the slight winter we get here. 2. i would be very concerned for my kidneys, with the over the counter stuff your'e taking, so ask about that, also..I didn't even know they took darvocette off. its something i have to take from time to time. i have the same issues w/ codeine as you. be careful with vicodin.. not the addiction.. it has slight codeine in it. i can hit the wall w/ projectile vomitting with it.. so, stay home 1st day, in case.. wish i COULD take it... 3jays0
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3jays brought up a point I forgot; I have compromised my liver due to my Tylenol intake over the years. Anything more than 1500 mg a day starts to do damage to your organs. That alone, should make your docs put you on something that works!
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Honestly - I don't think one in our situation has much chance of addiction (unless there is a history). WE are taking the pills to function and keep real pain under control - NOT to get a buzz because there is no pain. Does that make sense? I held off for a long time, until it was really bad... one day I was laying on the couch thinking that if I stayed very still and quiet and not do anything or move...it wasn't too bad. The lightbulb went off and I wondered if I would be willing to do this for (hopefully) years. Nope, why bother with the treatments to stay alive if all I would/could do was stay on the couch not moving and staying very still.
Any way, thats my 2 cents.
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Elaine, I think that's worth at least 4 cents!
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Thanks ladies...these are some very valid points and I will make notes to present my "case". I'm glad I posted here, because I didn't get one response on my thread asking for alternatives! I thought for sure some of the ladies here would have suggestions on a replacement.
I totally agree about the QOL issue, and I'm pretty sure if I was susceptible to addiction - I'd have found that out at some point over the 6 years I was on darvocet
When it got to the point where I realized I was miserable at the end of each day, I figured it was time to speak up -so, I shall!!Long day of work and classes so I'm going to watch my favorite, Big Bang Theory, and head upstairs to get horizontal!
(((hugs)))) thanks again for your input...it's always nice to feel validated...
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It was easy to validate you because you were RIGHT!
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@barbe -
@3jays...I forgot to ask you...have you tried taking benadryl with it? Projectile vomiting was one of the unpleasant side effects I had with it, they gave me benadryl because of itching and hives, and it also stopped the vomiting I had with it. Just a thought...
So, so glad this work week is over...I'm looking forward to lounging in my sweats studying for finals...
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Cool, somewhere to vent, cause everyone keeps telling me that I look great, but I feel awful. Ever since my ooph, I keep on putting on weight and it doesn't goes nowhere. I've tried cutting back on the amount of food I eat and eating more healthy, I'm exercising and it's not going nowhere. HELP....any advice out there.
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Don't ask me! I just found out I gained 15 pounds in 2 months.....are you KIDDING me???????
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Don't ask me either, I have gained 40 lbs in the last yr and a half...went from an 8 to a snug 14. I am NOT HAPPY!!!! I keep hoping that the weight hasn't budged because of the thyroid cancer and now that the thyroid cancer has been removed I will see some of the weight dropping...
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Diva, the only advice I can give you is to just let it go. I know, it's hard to accept that this may be our "new" self. Before BC I was in great shape, strong, 150lbs, and full of energy. I worked 14hr days as a warehosue manager, and loved every minute of it. Other than a brief bout of meningitis in 2006, I was rarely sick enough to miss work. If I gained a few pounds over the holidays, they came off well enough with little effort. After BC, ooph, and AI's...no matter what diet I try or what exercise cycle I go on...my weight fluctuates, 10lbs back and forth, but I haven't lost anything significant. I've finally come to accept that I may not get back to my pre-bc self, and that's ok. I'm taking care of me, and that includes accepting me for who I am and not letting my new physical self, ruin my spiritual self. Be good to yourself, that's much better than being thin
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Glad to know that I'm not alone. Honestly I do try to not worry about it, but like navygirl, I felt like I was in my prime before I was diagnosed. I will try to let it go, but some days it's not easy. Don't take me wrong, I am happy to be alive and am enjoying life, but sometimes I just don't like what I look like. Thanks.
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Diva..you are so not alone
Someday's it's really hard...like when co-workers and I were looking at pictures from one of our outings, before my BC...it was when I had first started there - seeing how much I've changed in just 3 years brought me to tears. But you know what? Change is inevitable as we get older...at least I look like my grammie -who was the best grandmother a girl could ask for so looking more like her makes getting older just a bit easier to swallow.My bitch for the day is nose bleeds. Not minor, stops after a few minutes of applying pressure to the nose - nose bleeds either.We're talkign gushers. I got one in the middle of the night..and then two more today. I don't know what's up with that but I can do without them! I bought a new humidifier today, so I sure hope that helps.
Time to study for finals...have a great weekend all!!
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Navy I like what you said about not letting our physical selves destroy our spiritual selves....you are RIGHT again!!! You're on a roll!
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Navy girl the humidifier should help keep the nose bleeds away by keeping the humidity up in the house. hope you get relief.
Sheila
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Thanks Barbe...I've always said, life is going to throw you curve balls...if you keep the faith and your sense of humor, you'll get through it. BC sure has put that theory to the test, and it's taken me a while to come around this time, but I refuse to let self loathing defeat me if cancer didn't !! I still look pretty good when I get all girly-fied...I just can't wear my skinny jeans anymore when I do it. So I went shopping and bought a new pair
Sheila, you are right...I had the humidifier on last night and no nose bleeds and also, no sinus headache when I first woke up-which I've been getting almost every night. It would last until I got in the shower, so when the nose bleeds came I figured it had to be that. Pretty cheap fix if you ask me
I took a break from studying for finals to go visit a friend who had back surgery 6 weeks ago; I made a huge lasagna and picked up some groceries for her and spent the afternoon just catching up and lauging. It does a heart good to just take a few hours and chat with an old friend. I'm glad I did it, but now I'm afraid it's time to hit the books again. I had high hopes of watching my Eagles play tonight but I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to hang that long
I hope all of you out there in snowmagedden land are hunkered down and staying safe, I love the snow but it looks like mother nature may have over done it out there in the mid-west!
Hugs ladies...
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Navy I also found out the hard way that if you increase the humidity in the house during the winter it will help sinus problems. The snowmagedden land was actually around my area, one county west of me got 6-8 inches of snow and the northern end of my county (toward Boone) also got heavy snow. We are getting cold temps and plenty of winds.
Sheila
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We have over 3 feet of snow already....sigh. Very cold today...
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very cold, but only @ 1 in. of snow
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no snow
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Whine whine whine. It is 50 here. So un-Florida.
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Laughing at BarbaraA...you're going to be hard pressed to find sympathy with 50 degree temps ;p
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we have 5 inches over 2 inches of ice, with 15 below wind chills, wind is sposed to be less blustery tomorrow
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Hate to brag...the temps is in the lower 70s today in Bermuda
Even though it is overcast and windy. 0
