Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Hey dreamwriter, long time no suckage? Thanks for the good daughter news. Seems like all three of my kids have fallen apart since my bc dx. I doubt that has anything to do with their choices, just a case of bad ecomony, bad health issues and unfortunate choices all landing at the same time. Sounds like kharma had it in for me, I prefer to think that it was happenstance and lousy timing.
Bitch and moan, and groan. SH................ It happens.
~Connie
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My knees and ankles and feet hurt so much from taxol. It sucks sucks sucks!! All I want to do is eat sweets and I am gaining weight..I just read that gals who are overweight (me) are more prone to have a re-occurance. That sucks major as I will prob be overweight for the rest of my life! Damn the sweets and my total lack of self control. Damn the cancer.
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ok.. my turn. can't call it a rant.. already did one on dumbest things thread.. about positive attitude BS!!i guess you can tell, its' not such a good day.. i'm just so damnedly tired of the BEAST.. everywhere in my life i look, she's marked territory. my sons are so terrified of their mother might die, they barely even will speak to me. one won't. because i might cry >>thanks chemopause.. i have to strap on foobs everyday i want to look good.. one, cause im too sick to have any recon done.. and two, the chemo bloat i got left with is 4" on my belly, which wasn't flat, to begin with!! when my hair came back, a whole lot on the top is just gone...where DID it go??this crap just SUX; and WONT go away!!most days i'm ok..today isn't one of those. i end up being sad. angry is much better than sad. but sad is where i'm stuck lately. i hope it'll pass soon.. oh yeah, my body has rejected every anti deprression drug i've tried. i'm allergic to serontonin, can you believe it.. so, no help there, either... God sure thinks I can handle a lot more than i think i can today... thanks for letting me get that out.... 3jays0
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3jays, ((((((((hugs)))))))))
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3jays- did a good night's sleep help any? Remember that things are always in a state of change, so this too will pass. JUST NOT SOON ENOUGH, RIGHT??? ((HUGS TO YOU)) And damn this beast~
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Connie- I always said....If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. Every time it looked like we were getting our heads above water....something else would happen. Learned to just expect it.
Paula - Boy do I know that one. I came to the realization that, I was just gonna be a fat grandma. Then I started on this new trial drug, and I've lost a little weight. Only from the diarrhea. So don't know if that's a good thing or not. If I don't loose anymore, OH WELL. That's life.
3jays- yea, god doesn't give us more than we can handle, YEA RIGHT. I've felt that way more that once. I've even told people. He sure thinks I can handle a whole lot more that I do. I've had enough. I can't take anymore. Last year, right in the middle of my treatment, winter time. I drive a 1/2 hour one way to work. In one weeks time ( and none of these were my fault ), snow covered highway and crazy people. I did 2 - 360 degree spins, a 180 and rolled my car. Landed in a ditch, upside down in water. That's when I said OK, enough is enough. I can't take it anymore. Either kill me know or let this be the last for a while. He must of been listening, cuz that was the last a few months. I've had a little thing every now and then but nothing like that one week. It was bad, I was so ready to give up. It does get better, even though it may not look like it now. It will.
CANCER SUCKS.......
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OMG Leisa...You did two 360's and then rolled your car?? That must have been terrifying!!! (((((((hugs)))))))
3jays, That. Does. Suck. So sorry about the hair, too. I freaking HATED that part.
Paula, 4 years in Feb and I am still fighting the eating/weight thing.
Thanks Trish! She's trying to find a way to pay for the MRI. :-/
Dream, so glad your kids turned out okay. I'm praying my nephews in their mid 20's finally....turn it around. (((Connie)))
Hugs everybody!
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thanks for the responses, ladies.. had fits of sleep, but not "good sleep" yet. am gonna drug myself out tonite. i need to get my head on straight.. LeisaParis OMG i'm so glad you're ok.. hope everyone gets a break here. the constant turmoil is incredible.. on another thread, we've been talking about PTSD. i think the trauma of having bc; and the tx; and the side effects are whats' getting to us all.! the fact that a lot of you work, in the midst of the insanity just makes me wonder, what CAN a woman do; and keep her sanity intact? then they tell us.. keep a positive attitude; move on... yeah, right! 3jays0
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I never in a million years thought that I would be celebrating a Divorce, but YAH-HOO, DDs divorce is final today!!!!!!!!!!!! She can move on with her life and he will not be around to attempt influence for a long, long time.
Also found out that an attorney to fight an ins. company will cost 30% of the win. 40% if it goes to court. HOLY COW!!! I might not have realized how ugly this arguement can get. I shoulda gone to law school. HAH.. ...not.
~Connie
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Lawyers always want more than they deserve.
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Yah, but you'll probably get more with a lawyer than without one!
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Congrats on your DD's divorce Connie!! I wish my sister would finally leave the a**hole she has lived with for 18 years. He's the only person on Earth that I hate.
3jaysmom, a friend of mine posted this on FB the other day: "Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it." LOL!!!
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I like to say: Reality is for people who can't handle drugs!
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I like both the quotes about reality. LOL :-)
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thanks, ladies.. so true.. the first REAL laugh i've had in a few days!0
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My bitch for the day. I have a stye on my eyelid- I've never had one before. it hurts enough that I feel like its ruining my day. there's not much you can do for them other than let it run its course which should be a few days?
Its unseasonably warm here, just for another day or two then it'll be cold again- I wanted to get outside and go do something fun, but its sunny and my eye is really light sensitive.
on a happier note, today is 2 year cancer-free anniversary date! DH is making steak tonight to celebrate.
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Alyad, sorry about your stye, but congrats on your 2 year cancer-free anniversary!!
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My gripe is, "Why do inanimate objects seem to all fail at the same time?"
My husband's car needs the rear end rebuilt-$1500
My downstairs toilet was plumbed improperly by the previous owners and the plumbing needs to be ripped up out of the floor and replaced-$$$?
My upstairs toilet decided that its seal would fail, leaking all over the floor-$125
My fridge is on its last legs......
Mary
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Barbe, that made me think of: "Rehab is for quitters."
Mary, that does suck. Sorry. (((hugs)))
Alyad, I heard somewhere (no idea where) that if you pee on a Q-Tip and rub it on your stye it will cure it.
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I think I'd rather have a stye than use your home remedy Traci.
The only good news about all my household "fails" is that I guess I must not be worrying so much about cancer anymore if these things are bothering me.
Mary
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YramAL: You could see a doc about the stye. They can drain it and give you antibiotics. I had that done because I was holding a two year old at the time and he thought she may touch it and give herself a stye. It was about a minute of pain and it was all drained out. The antibiotics were to help prevent it from coming back.
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Thanks for the concern, dreamwriter, but it's actually Alyad who has the stye. I was just commenting on Traci's "interesting" home remedy......
Mary
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Sorry YramAL. Alyad .... please read about the stye treatment.
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thanks for the suggestions. I have been doing some looking for home remedies online and I had actually seen the urine suggestion somewhere. I'm not sure that mine is swollen to the point where it could be drained. I can feel sort of a bump, but its not really visible, my eyelid just looks a little swollen and red. I'm going to avoid the doctor, I really can't afford it right now, my specialist copay is 50 bucks.
and we had both our cars break down at the same time earlier this week. DH's alternator went out and a few days later my water pump blew. Luckily, DH was able to fix them both for about 150 in parts, so there's something to be thankful for.
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It's not my home remedy! I just heard about it somewhere!!
I've gotten styes over the years at one time or another. Never did anything about them, they just eventually went away on their own.
It's Monday. Hope everyone has a suck free day.
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Traci, it will be suck free for a while today, waiting for the weather tonite, or is it tomorrow. Just in time for our superbowl visitors to enjoy. At least work is pretty much suck-free.
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the stye went away on its own- no urine I was pretty miserable for one day and pissed that that day it was 65 and beautiful and I felt unable to enjoy it. I felt better the next day and it was still really nice and I got to go hiking.
supposed to get about a foot of snow here in MO tomorrow
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The car I posted about last week-$1500+ in repairs-is still in the shop. Supplier sent the wrong parts. Grrrrrrrrr. I hate cars.
Mary
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Mary, I hate cars too- my truck that I thought was fixed is now making a different scraping kind of sound- something coming from the wheel- brakes maybe, DH is going to look at it tomorrow. When it rains it pours...
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Hey Everybody,
Snow in MO. Rain all over the place. I watched the snow this morning on weather.com and there's a lot of it. It won't make it down here, we will just get cold rain. Funny how we compare our lives to the weather, it's all so random. But it does seem like when it rains it pours. Certainly does that around here. Sometimes I wonder just how beautiful my garden would be if I didn't have to tend to all the other issues. I would have been digging and separating and planting and watering and benefiting from my labors. Instead, I am a garden slug, wishing and hoping for spring to try try again.
I wax poetic. Actually, I love my back yard even when nothing is growing, everything is four inches deep in dead leaves and all the trees are scrawny stick figures. Again, that's not totally true, I have a hedge of Ligustrums that's about 20 feet tall and it's green, a sprawling jasmine vine/bush that's also green and two old camellias, also green. The neighbor behind me has a bamboo hedge that I love to watch wave with the wind, it stays green all year and some boxwoods; evergreen too, there are three of them in a row that are at least 30 years old. Guess it's the winter. We are smack in the middle of winter and I think we are all tired of it.
So, here's my concern, DDs Ex went to court and received a suspended sentence, 3 years probation, fines and community service. They shipped him to another county where he faces charges for driving with no license or ins or tag. And then it's expected that he will be released. We saw the car on a pawn shop lot for $1,000. Don't know what happened with the guns but suspect that they were returned to the owner in NC and he didn't press charges. DRAT. Time will tell, but we think we will likely get a peace bond so he cannot come over here. That would make me feel better anyway.
Who's got a bothersome brother? I DO. We are 18 months apart, he is the oldest and is the thorn in my side. I think he has never liked me, since birth. As we approach 60 he just gets worse. Telling me what to do where mom is concerned when he wouldn't do it in a million years. And judgmental up to here! Thank goodness he lives in another city.
Snuggle up once again,
~Connie
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