Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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OH... and sorry for the car breakdowns, that SUX.. It's great to have a man that can and does fix things. Mine does that too, it might take three weeks, but it was cheap to fix. Lord, he does everything. The only thing we haven't tackled to satisfaction is plumbing, although replacing the wax seal really isn't that hard or expensive. It does take some strength to lift the toilet, if you need to know more about how to do it yourself, PM me and I'll tell you. Leaking from the base is an easy fix.... bout $10 bucks and dirty hands.
~Connie
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Connie-our leaking toilet turned out to be a bigger job than anticipated(don't they always?) Got toilet off, replaced the seal, put toilet back on, floor bolts were stripped so toilet couldn't be bolted down again. Had to replace the bolts and put a different wax seal and flange in the floor. We had a friend from church help us, so the cost was a fraction of what it would have been had we called the professionals.
Sorry to hear about the imminent release of your ex son-in-law. I hope your daughter is strong enough to stay away from him. We found out that a restraining order really means nothing if they still want to be together. You're in my thoughts-I've been in your shoes(minus the baby).
Mary
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Connie, you sound very upbeat about the whole thing. You're either totally numb, totally over it, or totally know you can handle anything now! You done good!
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Toilets...been there done that (had to replace part of the floor as well)
Cars...had more than my share
Connie...hope all works out for the best and he stays away
Unfortunately my motto is: IF IT WEREN'T FOR BAD LUCK, I'D HAVE NO LUCK AT ALL, BLUES, DESPAIR AND AGONY ON ME.......anyone remember that from heehaw?
I use to watch that all the time. Have a good day everyone. Leisa
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You are not alone. Don't you hate it when people ask "how are you?", "how are you feeling?" because you never feel good? Plus the people that are asking really don't want to hear the list of complaints, so you have to say "fine" with total resentment, especially after all the chemo and operations. I'm post resconstruction now since 12/2010 and I'm more angry, short fused, impatient, etc. than ever, because now i'm considered "fixed or done" but I feel far from that because dealing with the destruction of the battle is devastating to me. Emotionally, mentally, physical pain and discomfort, sleepless nights, etc. still continue.
I watch that show 'Intervention' and I'm jealous and resentful of the addicts because they get pot and these meds for fun and recreation while I'm here in a fit of pain and exasperation because my doctors say they can't prescibe me anymore because I'm considered "completed and released from their care" as far as medication and pain management. Just not right!
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Hello ABCTracy, Whoa girl, you need to bring it all in here and we will listen to everything... further, we will point you in directions for helpful advice. You've been cured and they have released you. That's really a good thing. Not right this minute, of course, but eventually you'll be glad that part is over. Congratulations on finishing. Do you drink? Grab a cold one and chill out here with us. Here, Barbe's husband is pulling up a chair for you, it's comfy and NOT PINK. The fire is burning and we've been there and know it sucks.
Hey Ya"ll, ABCTracy posted her first post with us!!!!!
and Thanks! I'm not sure which totally I might have been, but he called today and then I SAW him walking from the corner store, I drove on by, but that hit home. Now, I've got the creeps, was doing dishes and felt like I was being watched so I closed up all the blinds and locked all the doors and am only telling you cause it feels a bit silly. Except that I don't know who he is anymore and really none of us knew him all these 10 years now.DH went to the gym and will be home shortly. DD went out with my SIL so I know where she is. She felt all uncomfortable earlier. Word will get around that he is back, and word will get to him that she has been seeing a Nice MAN. A really nice man. So I'm totally not over it, but I am trying to rise above it.
And I keep going back over ABCtracy's post... IT'S NOT RIGHT. Do you have a primary care doc or GYN or any physician that you knew before this all started. Go see him/her... tomorrow. They will help you and offer maybe a referral to pain management and get you going on something that will bring some relief.
My fav anger thing is to beat the crap out of the bed or sofa with a broom.
I also like scream therapy. Usually in the car.
Also, some support near home? somebody from the neighborhood or church? got family?
I hope you feel better soon. It sucks to have to feel so alone. Come back and let us know, OK?
~Connie
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abctracy, I can't believe that they consider you done. Haven't they set up any follow up appointments for you? I had follow ups with my surgeon & radiologist. I still see my oncologist. What's your HER2 status? After I finished with my year of Herceptin and reconstruction, I joined a new drug trial for HER2+ patients. I'm on it for a year. They give you tests every 3 months and follow you for 5 years. As much as I wish it were all behind me I also am glad that if anything happens I have someone still keeping an eye on me.
Connie - I'm sure there is nothing to worry about. And knowing what you have said about him, he WILL screw up again. Since he's on probation, he'll get his.
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just wanted to agree with all yiu ladies it ALL sux!!even though i have other issues, including MS, and have a pain specialist for that, my GP asked if i needed meds.. are you on AL's for follow up? that qualifies as active tx.. just a thought. 3 jays OH! welcome ab ? tracy sorry, chemo brain..lol0
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Nothing happened last night. Thanks goodness. Maybe it was just that storm coming in that pricked up the hairs on my neck. Or just having seen the creep - gave me the creeps.
I hope Tracy finds her way back here. Newbies posting always touch my heart. It feels so good to vent, for me anyway, I expect that venting is good for all of us.
I found a lawyer who agreed that I have a case against the LTD company. Then I found all kinds of ugly info against the company online. I don't like having to get lawyers involved, but I've tried to appeal and am not getting anywhere and time is limited, so, thanks for those that supported my gripes about them dropping me after 2 years. Anything I get now, is better than the nothing I have, so the lawyer getting 30% will just have to be acceptable. SUCKS that they don't believe all the records, tests, reports and doctor statements and SSD. Silly to have to fight, would be more practical for them to believe the documentation than to take it to court.
~C
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Connie - maybe when they see you've lawyer'd up, they might be more interested in working something out. A**holes!
Please be careful with dum dum out there...you never know. Just keep your eyes open and the same for DD. Hairs on the back of our neck are there for a reason.
Tracy- I moved during chemo (fun) and when treatment/surgery was over, I went to a new GP. She rx'd me numerous drugs, fills out my (private) short term disability every single month and was wonderfully supportive. All she said was 'just keep taking baby steps'. I could have cried she was so kind. This was 3 months ago. Get out there and find a GP that will take care of you !!! Quiz the front desk when you call about what to expect....they'll give you a good idea so that its a good match for you and the dr. Continue to vent to us...even if you're sobbing while you type...hugs!!
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RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY.
otherwise, in the house I will stay.
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Thanks Hadley, I like your ladybug. I would not live with my brother. He has been hateful to me pretty much from the beginning, until one day, when I was 16 and snapped. I beat him up, well, I beat him down to the ground with his hands covering his head. Had there been a weapon handy, he might not be here today. He claims no memory of the incident. (yeah, right!)
I need some help. I had a mammo on Friday and now my bc/rads boob is swollen. Why would that one side be swollen - to the point of discomfort - after a mammo?
Last year's mammo was odd in that a necrotic cyst was discovered, Aspirated, the area turned all red, was assumed infected, did antiBs for 3 weeks, had punch biop, was neg. BS said she thought I might have a "little" lymphedema in there. did nothing about it. hasn't bothered me much until today and it's visibly swollen. kinda bugging me. when should I take it to a doc?
Connie
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Sounds like he's using the neighbours for a "father figure"!!!
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Hadley, I have been reading your posts, I cheered for you when you were on your job search, and then landed what sounds like the perfect job for you. I have also been appalled at the way that your family has treated you at this time. We all have family issues, but I can't imagine living with an adult brother who doesn't respect me. In any case, I don't think that you should read too much into his relationship with the older neigbours. At 27 he is an adult, and after a point, age shouldn't matter in friendships. If he was 17, that would be a whole different story. I speak from personal experience, one of my dearest and best friends is 28, I am 52. We started off as coworkers, and our friendship grew from there. We are in different places in our lives, but we care for and support each other through thick and thin. She was a rock to me this past year. I realize that you know your brother better than anyone, and the neigbours too, but at least he has somewhere to go that he doesn't bother you.0
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Connie-I'm glad you beat your brother up!!! I had 3 brothers...2 older, 1 younger and they all played college football. I got pounded for years. The only thing I ever did was stab my younger brother with a fork at the dinner table. He flipped his arm over to look at it, and the fork goes 'boingggg' sticking out of his arm. Everyone was so shocked, I didn't even get in trouble.
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Oh, Hadley, I am cheering for when you can get out from that attenable brother of yours. Does he have a romantic relationship with that neighbor?
What a mess it sounds like and to have the heat up so high is more than stifling in more than one way.
Hope he goes off to the neighbor's this evening so you can get some rest and have some me-time.
gentle hugs ~ suzie
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Connie - it sounds like the mammo may have triggered a LE flare in your breast. Below is a link on breast/truncal LE
http://www.stepup-speakout.org/breast_chest_trunckal_lymphedema.htm
You may want to ask your BS for a referral to a LE Therapist, here is a link on how to find a 'qualified' LE therapist
http://www.stepup-speakout.org/Finding_a_Qualified_Lymphedema_Therapist.htm
You may also want to check the Lymphedema after surgery forum, Binny and Kira are awesome with any questions you may have.
Sorry you may be joining our swell club...
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I've been reading all day and am convinced that it is LE, as much as I tried to find anything else that it could be, it kept coming back to LE of the breast. Oh great, so much more to learn, so much more to try to explain to family (that don't want to hear anymore). More medical expenses & time spent on me. Its almost overwhelming. ..again. I'll be calling for a referral for a therapist tomorrow. Prefer to go directly at these things, learn all I can & start some sort of treatment asap. Especially with the threat of infection, I've had my fill of infections and do not plan to miss this years girl beach week in May ..again. Lost it last year to a vicious UTI and IV meds I had to dose myself at home.
Hadley, sounds like you've had a hellova time with your family. I'm so sorry. It would be awful living with a 27 yr old boy. Just the smell would drive rats away. Where did respect go?
~Connie
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Hadley, NO male would listen to details about surgery. Especially to a breast! Especially a brother!! So, in that regard he's normal. In the heating regard, he's an idiot. JMHO
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Holy crap! We keep our house at 66 and I can sit and watch TV in my nightie. I have my housecoat if I get a chill, but still....73?????
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Hadly, pay him what you normally would for the heat. Not the sauna period, but before. Tell him that's all the heat you took, so you don't want to pay for heat you "didn't use". Let him figure that one out! hehehehehehehehhe
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i would just pay whatever part i could so he felt satisfied. and i would only talk to him about it when abolutely necessary AND after hes been fed. Never try to discuss money with a man whos hungry. whats the point of sueing someone thats broke?
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Why would there be two thermostats? Hmmm. Kind of good in your case. $450??? Is that electric baseboard heating? Wow!
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Boy Hadley that is awful high for heat. We have natural gas, and a 10 room house. Could be 6 bedrooms if needed. We only use 1 now that the kids are gone. Others are used for storage, crafts, man cave, sewing room. Even at that we keep the furnace between 65 & 70.
Our bill runs @ 250.00 - 300.00 at the highest. If we kept it at 70 all the time. Also it has a usage charge that is about 1/2 the bill to pay for the new windmills they put up in the last couple of years. Hope everything works out for you and you can get out of there soon.
Have you ever actually seen the bill or is that just what he tells you it is? Maybe ask you father so you really know if you haven't seen it. I would pay him something on it when you can and get a receipt just in case he tries to say you never paid a dime.
I watch Judge Judy and as long as you have a receipt with yours and his signature on it, you're good. At least you would have proof of what you paid, just in case he gets nasty. Better safe than sorry. You wouldn't want to have to pay him twice. Good Luck. Keep us posted.
Connie, Sorry to hear you may have LE of the breast. That must hurt, OOOOOWWWWW. Hopefully they will be able to do something for you. Good Luck.
Leisa
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Well I new to all this but I feel with all we are all going through we can do a lot of bitchin!!! I was marrie din October to a man that took me 30 years to find. After running around the world and playing GI jane for the USAF and losing a few marriages along the way I found a man that could accept me. He took me as I am. Two months after our "I dos" I had to tell this sweet man, a man that lost both parents to cancer, that his bride had breast cancer. It about killed me. I had been through a lot in my life. I am a disabled veteran and have had my entire jaw rebuilt due to a military injury, so i felt and still feel I can handle the treatment. It is watching my husband dealing with watch me go through it. It may be the military in me but I tend to deal with it when I am alone. I have had my breast surgery and am waiting what my follow up treatment will be, My husband is so worried and I have no idea how to handle this. I have tried to get him to read the info that has been provided. I have three grown children and two have been great, however my middle daughter is acting like I am not like I am not even sick. I have no idea what my outcome will be. I am trying to plan for whatever the future will be and as you all know this is hard. The hardest of all this has been on my granddaughters. They are 13 and 10 and we are really close. I have never lied to them and they have been my biggest cheerleaders. Although I have to say that I not looking forward to chemo. I am sure someone out there can give me a heads up as of what I have to look forward to..
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islandgirl...welcome but am so sorry you have to be here, use us to rant and bitch and share as much as you need to.
From your post I know that you are a survivor and those skills will be needed going through treatment. Do you know what chemo you will be receiving? Will you be getting radiation?
As far as your DH goes include him with what you are thinking and take him with you when you go to your appts. Hoplefully he will become a bit more comfortable which hopefully will somewhat reduce his fear and anxiety. Encourage him to say what he is feeling/thinking.
It is so good that 2 of your children are hanging with you and the 2 GD's are priceless with their support and caring.
As far as your 'outcome", what has your doc told you? What is your full diagnosis? You will find a wealth of information on this Board, not only the technical part but with all the ladies who are going through this...don't be afraid to ask.
gentle hugs ~ suzie
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welcome island girl...sorry you had to join but now that you are here...you have all of us! Whether you like it or not:) As for your husband, it is and will be hard on him as he loves you. As you most undoubtedly would be there for him. My husband tried reading some of the printed stuff and he just couldn't stand it! He said he didn't like being told what he might feel like, including one passage that said "while you might be repulsed, don't let your wife know this.." Holy crap...hahaha he said he thought he might be weird since he that was the last thing he was feeling. There is just no telling how someone will react and he is a grown man who knows there is help out there if he needs it. I am sure the foremost thing on his mind is for you to be healthy. Thank god you are not going through this alone. You are a warrior, this is true and thank you for that- by the way, but it is so wonderful you found each other and can now walk this path together. You said it took 30 years and I say it was just in time. As for your middle daughter, maybe that is just the way she deals with it and you will find many people acting very oddly- thus the name of this forum...as for your grandkids- how cool is that to have two little girls who love you so much to be there. Kids can be amazing when we least expect it and in my experience, they handle the truth a lot better than many adults...give me child's laughter and hug and well, I can face just about anything. BIG HUG TO YOU!!!
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welcome Island irl, sorry you have to be here, but it rocks to be able to come here and vents. we've all been there, in every scenario; so, you're never alone again with your thoughts, unless you want to be..3jaysmom0
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3jaysmom, did you get the mri report?
My GYN said he didn't think it's LE. But my boob is swollen and it throbs pinching hot. My hands aren't bothered, nor my arm. Nobody here want's to hear it. Not even the dog.
How dare they not listen to me gripe? We've been married over 35 years. I gave birth to 3 healthy kids who grew up without too many major incidents, we had our share. But they are all stilll co-dependent on us. I know the economy has really been difficult. Our personal economy has been a ..um challenge. Just made it through January. I had less than $10 left. SOOOOOOOO Frustrating. We should have done a lot better than we have by now. I'm wondering if this is as good as it's gonna get and that's depressing. We are in our second home, been here 27 years now. I can count the number of "bought new" pieces of furniture on one hand. EVERYTHING else has been here over 2 decades - and it was used THEN. Even the newest piece was bought off craigslist second hand. I think we missed our boat. Never even saw it. I do NOT want to go to our high school class reunion that's this year, feel like everybody has achieved more, is healthier, wealthier and wiser. and I just don't want to talk about it with anyone I went to high school with.
So.. have you cleaned house? I need to be ruthless and let things GO. Make them go. But it's such a chore. and the dust!!! I hate to get into it cause I can't lift stuff. But there's all this STUFF. Have you cleaned house? How did you do it, mind set wise? I need some motivation and thinking of stirring up everything and throwing out stuff that I saved for a reason makes my heart race. But I know it needs doing and unless I do it, it won't be done right. ARGH.
Connie
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Connie, I have finally developed a system for getting rid of "stuff". I ask the question: "Do I use this, at least once a year?" (I have some tools for Chrismas baking that only come out then) If the answer is no, then the next question to ask " Is this worth moving to a new home?" If not, it becomes real easy to toss it, sell it or give it away.
It doesn't take care of the whole problem, but it is a place to start.
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