Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Okay Cristine, I'm all yours. Is Stanford in the USA? I might need a driver.
Marsha, I'm so glad you're halfway through. I'm so happy I could eat a fish dumpling!
Harley, you're finally getting the nipple off your leg!! How weird is that gonna be? I hope you end up with the prettiest boobs EVER! I'm sorry it's been so hard. I'm sitting here still trying to decide what to do. I'll be here forever, cause I'm terrible about making decisions. I hope this goes better than expected and your boss lets you stay home!
Sue, loved the poem!!! Made me smile.
Felicia, sorry about the granny drama you have going on. I come from a very dysfunctional family that is a constant source of encouragement and love. NOT.
Shirley, I'm sorry your DD stood you up. Now you don't have to feel guilty for telling everyone about her bildo necklace. Have fun tomorrow getting to see everyone! Maybe I'll think of you and eat cake. Yeah. I'm gonna.
Deb..... I am so sorry for all you are going through. You can only smile and laugh just so much. Every now and then you have to take some time to get ticked off or to bawl your eyes out. Just do what you have to do, sweetie. I know you won't stay down long. You'll get back up, flip the birdie to cancer, and make some more memories.
Hi to everyone else.... I hafta go to bed now.
Love you all.... in a very grumpy way, of course!
Miss S
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Miss S - Thanks for volunteering! But...guess what? My results were at the onc's office this morning! Yay! No more wondering and they basically confirmed the first path results, so I'm good to go. Well, not that it's gonna be good...and Stanford is in California, near San Francisco, by the way (or by the bay - ha!).
O.k., I think I'm very tired now.
Shirley, I hope you heard from you dd finally because waiting sucks! As we all know...
DebC - I am sending you lots of hugs and a hearty "Cancer Sucks!".
I'm on a different page now and can't remember half the other sucky stuff going on, so another hearty "That Sucks" to all and to all a good night!
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Goodness, looks like I have missed so much. Work is leaving me without any computer time. A big hello and a big "that sucks" to everyone. Maybe I can catch up come the weekend.
Nicki
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nicki come back we miss you......
traci we NEED the bitch-slap video, Felicia needs to take it to the party!!
Am attempting a return to work today, I'll let you all know how it goes!!
Sue
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what did I miss?
I gotta catch up later. Overslept. Again. Being fat and tired all the time sucks.
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Hi Ladies,
Been away for awhile. Trying to get back into life. It has now been 9 weeks since my last chemo. Only left with fatigue and some leg pains. Last Thursday I went out with only one of my prosthesis????? Did not even know it until I got home. I thought I had lost one. Decided it was time to schedule my reconstruction. I get my expanders put in on 6/10/08.
I am now stuck with a summer cold and fever. Feels like I am on chemo again. At least I know this will pass faster.
Debbie
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Everytime I see that woman get decked in the nose, it is hysterical.
Good news about your path report, Cristine. Waiting sucks too badly...
Shirley, pooey to your dd for not calling. I think they forget how much we worry about them...
And for all of you who feel like treating someone's face like a giant superball, this one's for you:
Not going to the party Saturday. Not even going to try to think up a good excuse, either...
No bitch today (yet, lol - it's still early). But I did get my sense of smell back - whoo-hoo!
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Girls,
I am home after getting out of the hospital before dr wanted me to so I could rush up this am to see my bs and be told wow you need to go to your ps for this one. I can not take this out needs to know how ps laid the implant and bs does not want to risk infection blah,blah,blah. So I am two days out from total hyster, which went well except for the fact I look like a klingon from star trek because I had reaction to morphine and all the tissues around my eyes are filled with fluid and droppy.
Now I have to go to PS and have her decide when to cut it out!! So much for takin it easy and being princess.
Niki- thanks for the pm
Sheila - I am soo sorry for all you are dealing with
All you other girls - I wish I could read all the posts but I am trying not to sit up to long so I don't blow the stiches out!!!
On the good news front 48 hrs and no surgical menapause hell yet?!!!LOL!
Love you all
Daniella
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Hi ya'll,
Thanks for all the warm nipple wishes! That sounded strange... The surgery went ok. It was strange being awake for it. He just gave me shots to numb the area. Now I guess it's starting to wear off, since I am getting sore... great!, just great!Miss S.- No, I think I will still have to work tomorrow, 'cause the one lady, who is very nice, offered to work my shift, but she is having family visiting from out of state, so I can't ask her to work in my place with family there, who she doesn't get to see very often.
Christine- glad you got your path report asap!
and to everyone who I missed... a HUGE THAT SUCKS! to all!!
Harley
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I got a call today from my genetic counselor. I have an appointment on June 2 to get my BRCA test results and she knows I am anxious. And...I'm BRCA 2 positive. DAMN...All this flukey crap that's been going on is f-ing genetic. It is highly recommended that I have a total hysterectomy, so I am. I have very mixed emotions with getting these results. I now know where this is coming from and why. I can accept this news for me but it's a different story for my kids. I've decided to wait until right before I have my hysterectomy to tell my kids. My youngest has her senior ball on Saturday, her Disneyland trip on May 29 and graduates on June 13. She then goes back to MD for 8 days to visit her dads family. I want her to have some wonderful memories of her senior year and not one more crap-a$$ memory of mom's surgeries. I need to wrap my head around all this SUCKY crap...
Linda
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Am I the only one who doesn't like the video of the woman getting slapped...? No offense Traci, just curious is all.
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No offense taken Sige. Me...I would never hit somebody like that. I'm non-confrontational. However, I've felt like it before (well, maybe not that bad...guess I've been lucky in that regard) and seeing that girl doing it just kinda feels like the scene in Steel Magnolias "Here Weezer, hit this!"
Sorry if it offends you! (Everybody has been curious about what the other girl did to p*ss her off so bad!)
brb
ps Edited to say....that is not a slap....that is a bad *ss PUNCH!!!!
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Linda, that just totally sucks. No way around it. You're right--at least now the "March madness" is no longer a mystery.
Harley, how do they do that? Cut around the one on your leg and transfer the circle up to where it belongs? I just can't picture what that was like, to have a nip on your leg all this time. (And to think I thought it was being stored somewhere else!) Maybe some day we'll be able to grow spare parts somewhere convenient and out-of-sight, and have them moved to the right place when they're needed.
Debbie, I guess you need to check to be sure there's something in each of those pockets before you leave. It must not have been all that noticeable to anyone else, eh? "Darn, I forgot my boob!"
Shirley and Felicia, whose family gatherings have gone awry--maybe my hermitude is an advantage after all. Shirley, what did dd say when you finally got in touch with her today? (She did call eventually, didn't she?)
Dani, that sucks. You've had your quota of surgical procedures for this month. You need to give this next one to somebody else.
Traci, what's your move status? I've forgotten if you are still packing, or are in-transit, or what. Hey, we can all come and help you unpack. That should be loads of fun. Guess where the laundry detergent is? Who knows what happened to all the bedding? Beer or wine would make it even better. What happened to the beer and wine? <burp>
For once I don't have anything to complain about. Yes, I did post on the "Why do our husbands make us crazy?" thread earlier today, out of desperation; but that's been resolved I think. I hope. I'm waiting for a dish of ice cream to know for sure.
otter
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ROFL...glad it isn't me she's hitting. I'd have to take her out LOL.
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Hey Traci!
Did you ever move to Texas yet???? We can bitch and "whine" or "wine" together!!!
I've had some issues the past few mos. and haven't been on here that much lately. Not serious, just the garden variety type: depression/anxiety. They upped my Prozac and Xanax. Too much goddamned stress....no shit, who doesn't have it, especially us women, who are supposed to be Super Mom and take care of everyone and everything but who the fuck takes care of US?
Sorry that's my rant for today.
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Hey Traci!
Did you ever move to Texas yet???? We can bitch and "whine" or "wine" together!!!
I've had some issues the past few mos. and haven't been on here that much lately. Not serious, just the garden variety type: depression/anxiety. They upped my Prozac and Xanax. Too much goddamned stress....no shit, who doesn't have it, especially us women, who are supposed to be Super Mom and take care of everyone and everything but who the fuck takes care of US?
Sorry that's my rant for today.
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And my last bitch for today...the Onc I saw on Wednesday for a second opinion had lab work done on me because it appeared I might be anemic. Ya think after 4 surgeries in 14 months??? Anyway...my red counts are low so she said that this may be why I'm anemic. MAY be??? I now have to gag down 325MG of iron twice a day for a week then take it three times a day after that. Oh...and it could make me constipated, so take a stool softener. I'm taking two Ambien and calling it a night...
Linda
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oh my word - i'm gone for a few days and i just dont know what to say except - I feel like i have the biggest circle of friends ever who have seen it all between them - BIG SUCKS for all the crap...does it ever end? it does right? - her are my stand outs at this hour -which is a pain induced one so forgive me if i get confused -i didnt take notes (i really do suck at that)
marsha...i'll never erase the image of u puking fish dumplings up in ur mouth....
Harley - i feel ur pain darling, had i had a crystal ball on my recon i wud have skipped it and gone flat also. i am getting ready to have 3rd surgery to correct nerve neuropathy issue -which pushes chemo back 6 weeks - but if i dont do before i cant have until 6 mos after my final herceptin treatment...which is 14 months away. not. whatever, fix the nerve before there is a video of me on the net bitch slapping someone.
Traci - i can not imagine...still packing or the bug bites - they both suck wild mushrooms - oh wait, that cud be a good thing eh?
dani - OMG, you so need to pass on ur next speed bump - will say a prayer for u that enough is enough.
Deb - can not imagine and can only say my heart goes out to u, that mega sucks
to everone else - if ur family sucks - take comfort u r not alone. we all have stories and none of us shud feel guilty for our choices
may you all have a gripe free friday...we need one!!
bonnie
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ps - lisaSDCA...it's a small world after all....
i love rockville...when moved here 7 years ago i said i wanted to die here - now i am REALLY hoping i dont regret that statement.0 -
Yep! This would be me today. Popping in and saying a big "thats sucks" to everyone who needs it.
Sue: Thanks for missing me. While you all are thinking about me I will be driving in Chicago rush hour traffice where every road is under construction!
Daniella: Im so glad the surgery went well and your home. Somewhere along the line I missed whats going on with your implant and why it has to be removed. I say that sucks and enough already.
Debbie: Summer colds suck!
Felicia: Love the smileys! Im not doing much this week-end either. Well anything thats fun. I will be pulling out the hundreds of dandelions that decided to take home on my front lawn.
Linda: Im BRCA2+ also. What can I say. It sucks.
Peggy: The reality is, I couldnt deck anyone. Dont have it in me. But when I see that picture it makes me imagine Im one tough cookie!
Laura: Good to see you. And yes, the depression and emotional garbage that go along with this journey sucks. Dont stay away.
Bonnie: There is a bond of friendship here. And it feels good to be able to come here and talk about the sucky things in our lives.
This was short and sweet. Time for me to hit the showers. To anyone I missed? I will catch up later and will share my Mr. Grumpy box with anyone that needs it.
Nicki
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Hey Girls!
Linda- I am so sory for your Brac results. I just had the total hyster and of course I will not be on any hormones so I can keep you posted to how bad 'That will suck"! So far so good, of course I am only 3 days out! LOL!
Nicki- I have a lump in my right breast they want to take out to be sure. It is very small I get opinions from 4 drs ranging from ..cyst, surgical scar tissue, suitures that moved or reoccurance or new cancer! Take you pick! I do not have to have implant removed dr was saying he did not want to do my surgery for fear of infection and me ending up with implant removed and the whole recon do over crap! He is my BS he wants me to see my PS to have it removed.
Bonnie- I am so glad to see your posts. Wish things had gone better for you with Mast. I just keep thinking all this SUCKING has got to end sometime for you and me!!! And everyone else!!
Laura- You are right about women having to take it all! Days after surgery I never get to just relax, although I am so tired of relaxing, there is always so kid needing something or college crap loan issues or car issues or school forms issues whatever crap that only Mom can do. So I drag my surgical pin cushion self up and do the things that need to be done. Sometimes I feel like screaming that the kids do not understand how much pain and mental stress I am in and they selfishly just think Mom she keeps on giving like the Fu*&king energizer bunny! My hubby is great though so I am very lucky there. But he is not always home when our 5 lovely me,me ,me kids need something!
Traci- I am sorry but I have to say I love that picture of the women getting decked!!!! I believe some people could be horrible and totally deserve that!!! Sorry I am not a liberal and I loved the fact we looked at that video the first time as "Us decking cancer" am I wrong that is how I remember it being introduced to us!
Otter- I really hope you got that bowl of ice cream!!1
Bye for now, tummy does not seem to like sitting up at computer desk for 30 minutes! OW!!
Daniella
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I actually did deck someone in the nose last night - at karate class. Wasn't supposed to happen; we were sparring without gear and using only hands to the upper body (more of a reactionary-type thing, like "don't think, just do!"). Well, she bobbed, I weaved and my hand smacked her square in the nose. I felt like such a heel (control is the thing in class so no one gets hurt; guess I didn't get the memo last night!). She is a good friend of mine, too...
But the good news is she emailed me this morning and said she's breathing out of her nose better today than she has in a while! Ha! So perhaps a good slap every now and then IS a good thing
A hearty "That soooo sucks!" to everyone who needs it...
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Felicia, can you send us a video of your decking someone? (Just kidding)
Dani, kids can definitely be me,me,me ALL the time--when one of my kids was acting that way my dh and I would refer to it as "all (insert name of child) all the time" syndrome.
Laura, I'm close to Bedford. You sound like you need a hug. ((((Laura))))) PM me. Do you like antiquing? We could so go.
Nicki, I want to put Mr. Grumpy on a t-shirt, and a license plate, and my bedroom door, and my cubicle at work.....you get the idea. I LOVE Mr. Grumpy. He completes me. Can I have him?
Bonnie, I now remember every "over my dead body" comment I have ever made. Nicki is right, there is a bond of friendship here--some of the things you guys say just resonate, and we only get it because we've all felt the same....good to have friends who understand.
Linda, sorry for your results. I will be having that testing done in June. Have mixed feelings about it, as I will be taking Tamoxifen then Femara, and I have read that both increase the risk of uterine cancer, and I am thinking, hey, why do I need ovaries and a uterus anyway, they are just more organs that may someday try to kill me and I SO DO NOT EVER WANT TO HAVE TO DO CHEMO AGAIN..............So sometimes I think why even get tested, just have the surgery. I do have sons, and it is possible they could pass on a mutation to their children so I suppose the responsible thing is to be tested. Anyway, it sucks.
Hope eveyone has a good weekend with hardly any suckiness...
SUE
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Sue: Mr. Grumpy does fit everything doesnt it? I went to Walmart yesterday and found a Mr. Grumpy tshirt. Actually laughed my butt off - then I bought it. Also got another one with one of those psycho bunnys and it says "me pretending to listen should be enough for you." Thats how I feel with my chemo brain. Of course I will share Mr. Grumpy. He is perfect!
Daniella: Wow, how much can a person take. Seems like we are constantly walking up a steep mountain with every step of this journey. I had a 1 cm lump after my reconstruction. BS did an ultrasound and it worried him! He made me go to my PS. I was really scared cause it was in the same spot when my cancerous lump was - and I was gosh darn tired of feeling a lump in the same place even after having my bilateral mastectomies. Anyways, I was lucky - it was fat necrosis. Hoping things do settle down for you. Wish I could come over there so you could be a princess for a couple of days. You need a spa day, where you can just relax and not have to do anything else. How about this! Only women with breast cancer allowed.
Felicia: Oh my goodness you made me laugh out loud. You actually decked someone?
My only bitch today is that its Memorial Day week-end and should be marking the beginning of summer. He is Chicago its still cold! Im still looking for Spring and I think it passed me by.
Nicki
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Nicki, I'll take that second cabin from the left, please. Chilly here, too - so un-May like - which makes every picture of sun, sand and crystal blue waters whet my appetite. Cold weather in the springtime sucks.
Funny thing is, I know I'll be complaining about the heat in about two months
...Sue, my "open hand hit to the nose during karate class" video has gotten almost 200,000 hits already on You-Tube, lol (not really; didn't film it and even if we did I wouldn't have the guts to post it anywhere as I'm still embarrassed by the whole thing). My training partner's nose is a little straighter today as a result, though...
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Nicki - Marvelous idea for a "BC only" spa! Then we could all go bald and beautiful and no one would stare or make stupid (but sometimes well-meaning) comments! And we could all wear Mr. Grumpy t-shirts!!
Dani - I hope you get some good news about that lump. And I can totally relate to me, me, me kids! Doesn't the world revolve around them? My (almost) 9 y.o. called me into her room last night after she was in bed (on the top bunk) to get her chapstick for her. WTH?!
I have no suckiness to report today (yet), but a big "That Sucks" to all who needs one!
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Okay, here's my bitch. You know the reaction you get to being bald where no one will meet your eyes? I HATE THAT!!!
I went to the grocery store today. I was wearing a fedora, capri pants, espadrilles and a nice shirt. I looked pretty good, I think. This grocery that I went to I haven't been in since I lost my hair. It's in a somewhat upscale and I think, pretentious part of town (my dh and I refer to it as the pretty people's store). Sure, I've noticed the reaction elsewhere, where people won't meet my eyes, but I think overall, even if it's out of some weird guilt people have that it's not them, most people will smile and have eye contact. It just seemed to me the whole time I was in this store, NO ONE would look at me!!!! I felt INVISIBLE and I started getting really, I mean, unreasonably, pissed off!! I felt like making a scene and saying, what the hell is wrong with you people that it's like I have a force field around me or something!!! Instead I just left. Maybe it was just me, but I don't think so.
It felt really bad.
Sue
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Sorry that you've suddenly become invisible Sue, people are prats !
I was shopping in a big department store yesterday, was looking for some ice cream sundae glass dishes.... there were lots of dishes, but not the tall sundae dishes I wanted.
I absent mindedly lifted the (open) lids on two boxes of glasses, I knew they were not what I wanted, but I just did it.
I suddenly heard this voice behind me, 'don't open the boxes' I said 'pardon'.... again I got 'don't open the boxes', I swung round and there was this greasy little male shop assistant looking like thunder at me.
I was not in a good mood, having just had a run in with my doctors receptionist, she had put my back up asking too many personal questions, so I had come out shopping to cool myself down ! and here was this stupid little man getting clever.
I just rounded on him and said 'for a start the two boxes I was looking into WERE open before I touched them, and if I was going to buy I would most certainly open the box and look at what was in it before I made my choice, and WHERE are your notices telling customers not to look in the boxes'.... he was quite taken aback I think, and just would not answer me....so I thought I will show you, you silly little man.
I put 5 mugs, 4 boxes of glasses, 3 china containers and a teapot all in my cart, moved 2 aisles away and proceeded to walk slowly down the aisle taking one after the other item out of my cart and putting them where they didn't belong, mixing up his bloody silly displays. 2 teens, who had been watching all this started whooping at me, and laughing their heads off....silly little man looked even sillier.. and I felt good.
I suppose this could be one reason DH says he will not come shopping with me , he says I ' comment loudly' to other shoppers if they annoy me....which I do !! Never used to be this way before bc, but sure as hell I will say just what I think nowadays !!!!!
Isabella.
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Isabella,
Thanks. You're right, that's exactly how I feel--I just will say what I think! Going through treatment really changes your perspective, doesn't it?
Sue
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Holy crap....what a bunch of suckiness: tests, surgeries, people, crappy service, stupid medical staff, moronic friends and relatives...it all freakin' sucks!
Now, my crap:
I made it to day 5 of XELODA before the projectile vomiting started. Sure, I was exhausted, headachey, and nauseaus on days 1-4, but I was doing my best to make it through. Then, Friday morning (*warning*! TMI alert!) I'm sitting on the pot having a little tinkle when all of a sudden I just SPEW and KEEP ON SPEWING! Thank goodness the trash can was sitting right next to me or there would STILL be toxic waste everywhere!!!! This, of course, was mere moments after I had swallowed roughly $250 worth of XELODA. UGH. Spent the rest of the day either riding on or bowing to the porcelain god. DH had to call the onc because I was either in the bathroom or sacked out unconscious on the bed....told me to stop the XELODA because I was almost done with the cycle anyway (um...huh? 5 out of 14 days is NOT almost done). So, I get to start all over again in a couple of weeks. I haven't been out of bed for more than 15 minutes at a time since Tuesday. This is not going well. UGH.
The most substantial thing I've been able to eat since Tuesday night is a bowl of white rice....
THAT SUCKS, ladies....and I hope you all don't have any suckiness to share for a loooooooooooooong time!
((((HUGS))))
Diane
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