Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Hi you all,
Well, so I'm gone for awhile in the hospital and I come back to this?? A new format? I am lost around here now. I need a tutorial. I think I found some PM's so I answered them, but this is harder than the old way. At least for me. I didn't know how to find this thread. I liked when we could see we had PM's and the number on our home page and this new format doesn't do that. I don't mean to be negative especially when I think they must be trying to improve things for the site, but I don't care for change. I would really REALLY appreciate some things staying like I'm used to for awhile. And no more problems. I have had it with problems.
Not only was my recent surgery NOT for my exhange this month like it was supposed to be - it turned out I had to get an emergency gallbladder surgery instead! I even called to see if my PS could come up here and do my exchange while my gallbladder was getting taken out but nope. They can't do exchange to implant surgery during abdominal because the whole PS thing has to be real sterile and abdominal surgery doesn't go with foob surgery.
So now I still have to get my exchange. I'm beginning to feel like Harley here with the nipple on the leg thing going on for a year. It will be a year or even longer till I get my exchange. I really wanted to have my boobs done by this summer so I could look somewhat normal in a bathing suit. Oh well.
How's everybody been? I see you all have taken up writing to each person. That will make me dizzy if I have to do that, you know looking up all the time to see what happened to who and when so I will continue on with my OLD FORMAT and just write my random thoughts.
The whole world just has to keep on improving stuff. It's like the grocery store. You go in and see the New and Improved version of whatever and usually you get less ounces of whatever it was you used to buy when it was the old version.
So now my own post sucks. Boring sucky post. Well I am not particularly thrilled at the moment. So now I still have weird boobs plus a perforated stomach. Also I can't vacuum for another 3 weeks but I guess that goes on the cleaning thread.
You know what I dislike? I dislike that when I went into the hospital for my emergency surgery, I left the kitchen sparkling clean and just fine. Then I get home over a week later and find a mess. AND my "h" says "You've got ants." I'm like......"EXCUSE ME?? Where have I been since the ants arrived? There WERE NO ANTS when I left!! There are now dishes everywhere and fast food bags and some ants and somehow these new ants are MY ANTS???" I'll tell you what...that really pisses me off. They are NOT MY ANTS. They are YOUR ants you dumbell dh and the d is for dumbell !!!
So, what if we want to come back and edit our posts? Can we do that now? I bet we can't. Somebody tell me if we can come back and edit because I can't figure out this new format. You know, sometimes things are better left alone. Sometimes its nice just to have things stay status quo. Maybe my fear of change comes from too many mammos. The whole world seems precarious. Probably that's why I am not fond of change unless its nice and easy and pleasant good change. OK, well this is all for now of my grumpy post.
hanna
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Sorry...I didn't mean to post my grumps twice!
At least this is still the same!hanna
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Oh Hanna....That ALL sucks!!! I would start naming DH's ants....and they wouldn't be nice names!! I hate bugs in the house.
A big THAT SUCKS to everyone....I read all the posts, but I can't remember Jack.....
Now for my bitch...I am SOOOOO sick of getting nose bleeds! I hate waking up to the taste of blood in my mouth and a big old mess on my pillow. I know my chemo is working, but damn, some days I want to chuck it all. I think it was Silvergirl (Jeannie) that use to say that treatment was like getting nibbled to death by ducks....one little anoying thing after another. Alone they don't sound all that bad, but you just don't get a break.
OK....I'm done....
Deb C
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Oh, man, what sucky things are going on! I'm not gonna comment on everybody's sucky stuff, but I wanted to tell Hanna that I missed her (and her gall bladder). What? You've got ants??? Did he really say that? Sounds like it's time for a bug bomb, but leave the dh in the room.
And, yes, you can edit a post. Once you hit "submit" and your message is displayed in the thread ... no, it's called a "topic" now ... there will be an "edit" button underneath, just like before. The difference is that when you edit it now, the edited post won't say "Edited on ..." like it did before. Now, the post will be changed, but it will display the date and/or time of the original post. The problem with that is, nobody will know if we've edited a post unless we say that in the post.
Is that a gripe? Does that belong in this thread ... no, I mean "topic"? The other thing about this new format that annoys me is, every time I log on or re-boot my computer, all the topics ... no, I mean "forums" ... are rearranged. It's like they come up in random order each time, and the order they're in makes no sense at all.
Not very sucky, just a bit of a nuisance. I'm sure the mods are looking at all this stuff and scratching their heads.
otter
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Hey everybody...I have kind of a long SUCKY list today, but I am only worried about one thing and that is the Lumpectomy and Sentinel Node vs. Full Node Dissection tomorrow. I'm not sure if it is wise or not, but I have bought and read almost every bc book I can find in the last 20 days. It doesn't help that I have been a nurse for 30 years; most of those years in the ER...where nice, healthy breast cancer survivors do not come to hang out. My mindset picture of bc is painted by the worst and the saddest stories of bc. I think that is why my normally strong, optimistic attitude about life in general, buckled and broke like the 35W bridge over the Mississippi river, under the strain of hearing that I have this crappy disease. I feel so foolish because when I look at my numbers and +/- stuff I think I should be relieved that it is not worse...but I am anything but relieved. I keep wondering I if I should have just had both of the darned things amputated rather than messing around with lumps, and wires. I did not feel pressured one way or the other by my surgeon and I finally decided that he knows a heck of a lot more about this than I do. I asked what he would do if our roles were reversed and he told me he would start with the lump and go from there. It will just be a freaking relief to get something going. I am not the most patient chick in Minnesota!
Today was my last day of working this week. Did I mention that Neurosurgeons can be real PIA's?? I have managed to get through my last days of working in the OR without telling anyone off. I have certainly become more assertive since June 4th, but I have to admit that my attitude with people that bug me is nearly bordering on aggressive! I feel like a B*T*H on wheels. I hope that my tolerance levels off a little. I have to tell you what one of my nurse co-workers said to me yesterday while we were sitting at a table during a coffee break in our break room. She was sitting right next to me and she looked over at me, smiled this nasty little smile, and said "Oh, breast cancer is no big deal anymore! Everybody has breast cancer these days...at least two of my neighbors have breast cancer. You are going to be just FINE." I think there was steam coming out of my ears. I asked her in a much calmer voice than I was feeling inside "Do you have breast cancer, Becky??" When she said "no"... I said "come back and tell me what a no big deal it is when you hear those words spoken to you. Until then I don't think you are entitled to a freaking opinion". I guess what she said wasn't much worse than the people who keep saying "I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis"...I'm sorry, I'm sorry... don't you get tired of people telling you how sorry they are. I don't want to hear that anymore.
OK...I'll stop now. I enjoy reading ALL of your posts. I will work on keeping up better. Thank you for your words of encouragement, and your awesome ability to make me smile when I don't think I can.
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hugs and prayers coming your way for your lump. and snb tomorrow. i personally think your co-worker deserved one of traci's b__t_h slaps. your reply was perfect. i love when people tell me oh no one knows when they're going to die...duh i know that but don't tell me that being stage IV is NOT different. it is! let us know how you make out.
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Hi All.
Fairly good day. Got a massage. Was nice but laying on my stomach with expanders was a b*tch. Helped my state of mind and back.
Hannah, sorry about your ants. My husband never cooks or cleans, but he is still a good man. I hate ants and roaches. Lucky we don't have any. Last year a spider had babies in our bathroom and there were hundreds of little "Charlotte's". They were really cute with their little web strings but finally they got to be too many and I had to vacuum them up. Broke my heart since Charlotte's Web was my favorite story as a child.
Deb, sorry about your nose bleeds. That sucks. I used to have them a lot when I was about 12. Had to have nasal surgery to stop it. I can relate to the yucky taste in the back of your throat.
Otter, you are too funny. There is topic/thread/forum/whatever on the new changes. The moderators are supposed to take our complaints, comments, and suggestions. I logged on last nite and thought I had another site. Took my chemo brain awhile to figure out what was going on.
We put in a radio fence for our dogs and have been trying to train them. They got their first shocks last nite and it was awful. Had to give them lots of love and doggy biscuits. We live in the country and our privacy fence funds went to TN Oncology and St. Thomas. So the radio fence was only $500 vs. $6000. Our dogs are strays and not the smartest dogs. They keep chasing the horseback riders as they walk down the road every evening.
Breast Cancer is no big deal????????? Tell that to all the sons, daughters, husbands, parents and friends who have lost a loved one. A bitch slap is defintely in order here. I could not have been as cool as you were.
Got to go make dinner. Have a nice nite ladies.
Debbie
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Cat: June 13th marked 39 years for me. So when I say I understand, I really really do. ICU was my specialty. I remember the fear and overwhelming feelings. Wont ever forget it. You really worded things well. Things that everyone of us felt. I will be praying your surgery goes well and hoping that sentinel node is negative. I found journaling helped me.
jerseymaria: I really believe in my heart that the only ones who understand what we are truelly feeling, are those of us who have breast cancer. I dont even talk about to other people now. Anyone who says Stage 4 is not different deserves a bitch slap!
Otter: I havent had enough time on the computer yet to notice all the changes. Last year when they changed we couldnt get on the boards for almost a week. And for us board alcoholics it was maddening. Im laughing cause I edit every post I write
DebC: Being nibbled by ducks? That sucks!
Hanna: I have been thinking about you for the last 3-4 days. Wondering where you were, cause some of your posts were so great. I sorta feel bad for not asking where you were. What an awful thing to have to go through. This journey is always giving! Emergency gallbladder surgery sucks! Not getting your exchange sucks!
Debbie: Man its good to see you. As you can see from my posts, most of them are not bc related. Mosquitos, sore feet, stalkers, yadayada. What really made me crazy when my hair first started growing back was people rubbing my head for good luck!
Dani: Darn it anyways. Love the cats name and colors. Im a sucker for cats and dogs. Im guessing I better watch out and make sure I hit submit. Thats why I edit my posts. I type a response and then save it. On another day, another time I cant wait to here your story. Losing a long post - well that just sucks.
Harley: First of all, I personally hate casemanagers. I think thats one of the reasons our insurance costs are so high. Hiring nurses to find out reasons to not pay for something sounds evil. Yet I have heard so many say how helpful their casemangers are. I just think it sucks that you have to wait to get your eyes examined. And it sucks more that your eyes are dry.
Well its late, and Im hungry.
Nicki
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Hanna - happy to see you are back.
Getting emergency gall bladder surgery, not getting your exchange surgery, and coming home to his ants simply SUCKS!
more later...
Lisa
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Hi all,
Really busy week (partial week) at work....we are having another "random" AUDIT. The problem is the people they send to audit us do not know the rules. Most of them have never worked airplanes in the real world, and the differnece between theory and practice in air traffic control is HUGE. So, we have to spend all our time fetching data for them, and then when they get a wrong idea in their heads, we have to spend our time educating them and proving their wrong idea is wrong! It is like sending a kindergarden student to edit a college term paper. I just remembered a great expression, and it fits--"Never try to teach a pig to dance..you get all muddy and it annoys the pig." I used to enjoy the challenge of arguing a fine point but now I can't help feeling how much time I am wasting trying to convince this person they are wrong....I have decided to retire in January, and I thought I would stay at least another year. BC has changed my perspective and my priorities. I just want to stay home, and be with my dogs, and grow vegetables and flowers, and volunteer at church, and be some kind of support to women who have just been diagnosed, and who knows what else but not work for a living anymore. I will be 50 in November and I have been an air traffic controller since I was 19. It's probably time for a change.....
A big that sucks to all, sorry I don't have the energy to name you all but Hanna I am so glad you are back, I was wondering about you. Welcome back and waiting for new foobs sucks!
Harley, sorry you have dry eyes and other places. I don't even know if I am dry. Sex has been the furthest thing from my mind but I wonder if it will come back? I know there is a thread for this and I normally don't talk about it, I consider it very private...but...I had my mast on April 2nd....for that matter I was diagnosed on March 17....this is June, almost July! We've always had a good sex life. I think he's afraid he will hurt me. I guess I'll have to be the aggressor but where can I find some desire? Sorry, too personal?
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Nicki,
My first case manager was Monica, and she used to be a ps nurse, who specialized in ...breast reconstruction! She was WONDERFUL! She really cared, and she took care of everything... she had to go and get approvals for my surgeon, my ps, and my surgery, mostly all of these were AFTER the fact, and she just pre dated them...
But, Monica quit, because she found a job closer to home. She had a long commute and I guess I gave her TOO much work, keeping up with all my stuff... She was great!
The case managers who I have been assigned to now just expect ME to do ALL the work, and honestly, it is SUPPOSED to be my primary care dr's office who is supposed to take care of all my referrals, etc...
But, guess what? They must have listened to me... because I told them to call my case manager, to get all the referrals and approvals in the system, and sure enough, in the past few days, I received the paperwork for my onc AND today I received my paperwork for the ophthamologist! I can't believe it!! Sometimes things DO work ok!
Sue,
Sorry to mention s-e-x... what IS that, anyway?? I am also usually a private person, but I am just so dry.... I sure hope it isn't Sjogren's, but just another se from the tx... I will ask my onc nurse about all these very personal, intimate things, because I just can't seem to discuss it with my onc.. I saw my onc in Feb., and now I go every 6 months, and in July I'll see the onc nurse. I guess I'll get more help from her than I will from him... My dh and I... well, things have come to a screeching halt in that dept. I feel guilty, but I just have no desire.
Hope everyone has a suck-free day tomorrow!!
Harley
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Nicki,
My first case manager was Monica, and she used to be a ps nurse, who specialized in ...breast reconstruction! She was WONDERFUL! She really cared, and she took care of everything... she had to go and get approvals for my surgeon, my ps, and my surgery, mostly all of these were AFTER the fact, and she just pre dated them...
But, Monica quit, because she found a job closer to home. She had a long commute and I guess I gave her TOO much work, keeping up with all my stuff... She was great!
The case managers who I have been assigned to now just expect ME to do ALL the work, and honestly, it is SUPPOSED to be my primary care dr's office who is supposed to take care of all my referrals, etc...
But, guess what? They must have listened to me... because I told them to call my case manager, to get all the referrals and approvals in the system, and sure enough, in the past few days, I received the paperwork for my onc AND today I received my paperwork for the ophthamologist! I can't believe it!! Sometimes things DO work ok!
Sue,
Sorry to mention s-e-x... what IS that, anyway?? I am also usually a private person, but I am just so dry.... I sure hope it isn't Sjogren's, but just another se from the tx... I will ask my onc nurse about all these very personal, intimate things, because I just can't seem to discuss it with my onc.. I saw my onc in Feb., and now I go every 6 months, and in July I'll see the onc nurse. I guess I'll get more help from her than I will from him... My dh and I... well, things have come to a screeching halt in that dept. I feel guilty, but I just have no desire.
Hope everyone has a suck-free day tomorrow!!
Harley
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Nicki,
My first case manager was Monica, and she used to be a ps nurse, who specialized in ...breast reconstruction! She was WONDERFUL! She really cared, and she took care of everything... she had to go and get approvals for my surgeon, my ps, and my surgery, mostly all of these were AFTER the fact, and she just pre dated them...
But, Monica quit, because she found a job closer to home. She had a long commute and I guess I gave her TOO much work, keeping up with all my stuff... She was great!
The case managers who I have been assigned to now just expect ME to do ALL the work, and honestly, it is SUPPOSED to be my primary care dr's office who is supposed to take care of all my referrals, etc...
But, guess what? They must have listened to me... because I told them to call my case manager, to get all the referrals and approvals in the system, and sure enough, in the past few days, I received the paperwork for my onc AND today I received my paperwork for the ophthamologist! I can't believe it!! Sometimes things DO work ok!
Sue,
Sorry to mention s-e-x... what IS that, anyway?? I am also usually a private person, but I am just so dry.... I sure hope it isn't Sjogren's, but just another se from the tx... I will ask my onc nurse about all these very personal, intimate things, because I just can't seem to discuss it with my onc.. I saw my onc in Feb., and now I go every 6 months, and in July I'll see the onc nurse. I guess I'll get more help from her than I will from him... My dh and I... well, things have come to a screeching halt in that dept. I feel guilty, but I just have no desire.
Hope everyone has a suck-free day tomorrow!!
Harley
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Wow...plenty of sucky-ness to go around. My very biggest pet peeve is when people try to minimize what we're going/have been through. Coming from someone who hasn't been there, it's just BEYOND ridiculous, insulting and idiotic. If I weren't so tired I'd have more and stronger adjectives. lol And sheeesh how could someone possibly think stage IV isn't different?
Cat, you will be in my thoughts and prayers throughout your surgery. I will be waiting with great anticipation to hear from you. Funny, my immediate reaction when I talked to my surgeon was...take it off, take them BOTH off. But we had the same exact discussion as you. He thought it was a bit extreme and he said if it was his wife he would advise her the same...lumpectomy to start. Funny...he also did my gall bladder surgery and I totally love and trust the man. He's incredible. BTW, I'm from the opposite side of the cities from you....Cottage Grove. I kind of like it over in your area, it seems to be growing like crazy over there. I had a bf who was from Plymouth, so I used to spend time.
Sue, considering what we talk about on these boards, is there such a thing as too personal? lol It took me more than half a year to even THINK about having any desire. I say don't push it and make it an unpleasant experience that could dampen future "expeditions". It may seem like a long time, but in the scheme of things.... It sounds like he's willing to wait until you're totally ready. Then again, I was (by choice) without a boyfriend during dx and tx. I was happy to have no distractions. Maybe others would say jump right in and see how it goes. But, I'm not one for forcing anything I don't feel.
Deb, sorry about the nosebleeds, what a pain in the arse!
To everyone else, so sorry for your chit that sucks. I just have to pick a few people to single out each time I post. Like Hanna, my head would spin trying to keep track of everyone's individual suckage. Although I do say a little "awwww bummer" for each of you as I read your post.
I don't really have a bitch tonight, more of a whine. I don't do well with changes, so I'm sad the boards look different. I know in a few days I won't even notice, but for now I'm just grumbling. New and improved rarely seems that way to me at first. lol I thought this site just won a bunch of awards? I say if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
disclaimer: I'm sure it won't take long before I figure out what's better, more convenient and easier (it does look nice), and then I'll be embarrassed that I complained. What the heck though....that's what I'm here for. hehe
Hugs to all
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Well my bitch for today is the vet bill. I swear they have a daily quota to meet and bill accordingly. My pooch has been dealing with a scratched cornea for about 4 months now, and $600 later I'm still medicating with little improvement. I think it's time for a second opinion.
Here's my little princess, better known to family and friends as my shadow. I can deny her nothing.
Finally got hold of that movie I was looking for. Gonna try and watch it later on.
Nicki, looks like your fanclub misses me and are just dying for me to visit. I guess that's my 15 minutes of fame come and gone. hehehehehehe.
I might oblige them, but then again, I might not.
A big that sucks to everyone else.
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Blue, you have a precious baby. I just wanted to say that I have a cat that had eye issues. The vet said she had a mildly scratched cornea. She would only open that particular eye half way. He treated it and when we went back it was fine. But she still kept that eye half opened. So, we treated it a bit more. Finally, he suggested I see an Ophthalmologist. He only came to town every couple of weeks. Anyway, she had the herpes virus. He said that kittens usually have it when they are born, but that the shed the disease. Well, she's not a kitten, but stress can bring it back. We saw him several times. Even though the virus was gone she still wouldn't open that eye altogether. We finally decided to stop all meds. She got better.
I'm not saying this is what's going on with your baby. But, you're right. Get another opinion. In fact, if your not seeing an Opthalmologist it may be a good idea.
Good luck! Our babies are special.
Shirley
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Have I mentioned that I cannot get my six-month mammogram, because I still have an open abscess in my irradiated boob? Evidently, radiation severely impacts the ability of tissues to heal, so the infection I got from the Mammosite a couple of months ago is still not resolved. Every night, I put antibiotic ointment on it and pack it was gauze. The gauze piece is definitely getting shorter, and the hole is getting smaller, but, ladies, this SUCKS.
My rad onc says that a mammo would really HURT, so I guess I'm grateful that they feel confident waiting, but I would love to have an all clear!
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Thank you Shirley. She's been on 4 cycles of antibiotics and was wearing the cone for 6 weeks. We even treated her with oral medication thinking it might be a yeast infection, but still very minimal improvement. When I look into her eye, it looks like there's a thin blue layer of something on the pupil. She's 11 years old and I'm beginning to think it might be a cataract. Definitely going for a second opinion.
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Harley, so, you had company this past weekend. That sucks! Just kidding. Did you have to work Saturday at your new job? Also, I'm very happy that you FINALLY got the approvals/referrals, or whatever they are, taken care of. I need to go the the Ophthalmologist since I've met my deductible. I want to use this insurance ALL I can now that it's met. I hate this insurance. Yes, I'm repeating myself!
Debbie, I think insurance is one big racket! Forty-seven percent! That's terrible! Our deductible went from $200 a year to $2200. Talk about shocked! New insurance company...new plan.
Good for you for getting a massage. Oh, that sounds wonderful.
I thought having four cats was a plenty. But eleven! And two dog. Poor doggies. They must feel outnumbered. Time to get a few more pups.
Hi Hanna!
Been wondering where you were. I was going to ask today, Has anyone seen or heard from Hanna? But you just pop up. So sorry to hear about your ER surgery. That really sucked! And, now YOU have ants. LOL I have REALLY missed your posts and your humor. Now, we need to get that exchange surgery SOON! Deb, darn! I hate to hear you're still having those nose bleeds. Chemo sucks enough without having to deal with that too!
Cat, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Praying for negative nodes. And your co-worker, WTH? She's a nurse? Everybody's got breast cancer now? Her neighbors are doing just fine? Tell her to come read some of these women's stories and see just how fine THEY are. She needs to educate herself. I'm sure she meant well, but sometimes it's hard to listen to crap like that. I was told how strong I was. I wasn't. I was told how well I looked. I didn't...if they saw me without makeup and my wig they wouldn't have said that. Ya know, I just didn't tell people much of anything. If they asked how I was doing, I'd say, fine, or I'm tired, but doing okay. It's really funny what questions people ask..like..and they don't know quite how to ask...how's your..uh, uh, cancer? I answer that so far so good. And when I see the onc they want to know how my visit went..so far, so good. So, you don't have cancer now? I reply, Not as far as I know. I don't think I've had anyone who's really asked REALLY dumb questions. I think they are just trying to be thoughtful, and feel they HAVE to ask. But, your co-workers comment was just plain DUMB!
Jerseymaria, stage IV is something. And most of us worry about it happening to us. I had a conversation with my SIL the other night about bc. He was asking the questions. And I was trying to explain that many, many times this is not a curable disease. It's an unpredictable disease. We don't have the luxury of saying after five years we're out of the woods. I had just had my mammo a couple of days before we had our talk. And he said, but your.....and I answered, yes, my mammo turned out fine. However, it didn't catch the first cancer, so I don't feel that same relief like I did when I was so innocent, naive, or just plain uneducated when I leave the radiology department. I'm just so sorry you are going through this again. I am sorry for all our stage IV women. It's just not fair.
Hey, Sue. Nothing is too personal around here. I don't know whether or not I can have sex. Haven't tried in a looooonnnggg time. Sex just kinda up and walked out.
It sucks when you lose that intimacy. Man, working in air traffic control for 19 years is a long time. Isn't that just about one of the most stressful jobs one can have? Heck, with the economy going south there's not going to be many airplanes left in the sky. Did you hear about the pilot who announced to his passengers that he was under too much stress to fly, and the flight was canceled. He had just gotten off his cell (I think) and I believe he was one of the one's getting laid off. Now, that sucks!
Well, it's getting very late. I can't think of anything sucky that's happened today. But there's ALWAYS tomorrow!
Nite,
Shirley
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Hannah.........yay, your back! I thought with the new change on the boards that everyone got lost or left! I don't like the new format either! Emergency surgery....that sucks!
Blue....what a sweetie. Do vets do cataract surgery on dogs?? My little guy is 14 and has them. He is still very healthy and active but is quite deaf and now his sight is going downhill. Poor guy, if I could get them removed I would, his mother lived till 17! I would rather that he can see if he's going to be around for that long.
Wow....lots of suckiness......nosebleeds, no new foobs, insurance woes, healing wounds.......CANCER SUCKS!
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Thanks for this forum, i love it. I am 2 yrs out this month, the neuropathy is better, thats about it, lol. I have become an old woman in 2 yrs, i love like my mother for goodness sake and that scares the H outa me. I have high colesterol (sp), and the weigh is unbelievable like 60 lbs,still tired, just had a hysterectomy and bladder taping now i am not the little piggy that wee wees all the way home, lol. I am NED and thankful for that, but just sooooo tired and the family doesnt seem to understand, they are of course wondering what happened and why i just cant move on. I want to say hmmmmm lets think it over what could have happened in the last 2 yrs and how could they deal with it.
Love this, thanks girls
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Summertime is chicago is so much fun! The next 4 days hot and very humid! Ever since treatment, I dont tolerate the humdity very well! Thats my suckiness for the day. And the fact that I have to be at work instead of swimming!
mcharl: So glad you found this forum. Its one of the things that keeps me sane! I laughed when I read about you looking like your mom. That best describes how I feel too. It does really suck that no one understands how we are feeling. Im not sure I will ever get over the changes.
Viv: I hate watching my animals get old. Then I think this might be the last dog or cats I have. Im getting too old now! And tired of hearing my husband complain about them lol.
Shirley: One time I had a nurse say to me that getting breast cancer was a right of passage for women! I thought what the heck is that. Really wanted to bitch slap her. It amazes me how people in general view "breast cancer." Yep - thats why I come here. Would never discuss it with anyone else.
Blue: From your description, its does sound like a cataract. Isnt it amazing what Vets are charging now a days? Your poor furbaby! My fanclub? I just dont go there anymore. Cant stand the negativity. Their words just validate why they - well just dont come here anymore. I guess that says anything and everything about them. Life is too short, I continue to come here because breast cancer is our battle. Yellow daisies remind me of spoiled sour cream. Ya know, a dollip of it is more than enough.
Sue: I was wondering where your were, as I didnt see a post from you since Monday morning. Not that Im keeping track or anything like that lol. Audits suck! Never been through one that I like. Our business office is going through an audit not also. Im so greatful Im out on the road most of the day and away from all that stuff.
Harley: I was so glad to hear you got your eye doctor referral. Having dry everything sucks.
Lori: Dont worry about singling out people everytime! This is just my style - lol! Can you tell Im type A and very detail oriented?
Cat: I will be thinking about you today. Praying all goes well. It sucks that you even have to be here and going through surgery!
OK - gotta run. Take a shower and figure out what Im gonna wear! Now a days that takes along time because everyting is different sizes and I never know whats going to fit and what wont.
Nicki
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I appreciate all the posts but I gotta give props to two lines in particular:
"Do you have breast cancer, Becky?" -- What a BRILLIANT RESPONSE to virtually every stupid thing ever said re: cancer. I would like to propose a slight modification, however, i.e., the addition of the ISTFU look (the implied "shut the f*** up" look). Something like this:
Them: Rite of passage! Stay positive! Chemo's easier now! You got cancer because you were under too much stress! Eat more carrots! Blah blah blah.
Me: Do you have breast cancer?
Them: No.
Me: [meaningful look which communicates "then shut the f*** up"]
Cat -- Brilliant response. I am now ready to face my annoying neighbor (not Pam) on the elevator. I am giddy with anticipation.
****
"Never try to teach a pig to dance..." Que profundo, Sue. Y so true, Sue. So very true.0 -
I also feel terrible, that I don't have a separate line for EACH of you, to acknowledge your 'IOS', or Issue of Suckiness... When I read them, I always say THAT SUCKS!, each time, and I even say a little prayer that your sucky stuff will get better...
I don't like mentioning the ehem... more intimate, personal issues of bc... but I was thinking about it the other day, and I guess maybe I miss it, but I just don't know how to get it back... ALSO, I know that on this thread, I won't get kicked off for mentioning it... like sometimes, people who mean well will say "go to the MOJO thread with that stuff!"
I agree with ya'll, that it is very ANNOYING to me, when others minimize our bc experience, saying "well, it's very easy to treat bc nowadays", and I even got the "no one EVER dies from bc", which we all know is a bunch of B.S.! In fact, my neighbor who said this has a friend who has had bc, and she had a recurrence in her lungs, and has passed since my neighbor made this comment to me last year....
Ok... I'll stop now. This is too depressing, even for me....
Hope everyone has a suck free day with no IOS!!!
Harley
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{{CYBERHUGS}} to each of you today! May your IOS be minor today and your freedom from IDIOTS who open their mouths be total!
Enjoy the day~
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No suckiness today SO FAR. Just wanted to check in on you girls before I do a little, and I mean little, cleaning. And before this thread became three more pages. Hope everyone has a good day.
Cat, I'm thinking about you.
Shirley
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Hi again girls!
I'm having a McD's tall coffee right now with 4 creams and "lovin' it!" I do enjoy a good coffee made by someone else other than me. I am most fond of Burger King and McD's
Back when I was in the hospital for my emergency gallbladder surgery - they took me off my caffeine - BAM - just like that. Oh golly did I get a headache. Really the worst ever. I didn't know about these caffeine withdrawal headaches. But up on the med/surg floor they called themselves the DECAF FLOOR. There is a sign in fact to alert people so no caffiene could enter the area. Oh there I was with my head hurting and I had to tolerate the whole first day begging, just PLEADING for a real cup of coffee but no. No real coffee for me. They were willing to give me whatever drugs but no caffeine. So, what did I do? Well, I was attached to a pole - a malfunctioning pole to be exact. It only went around in circles it would not move like an IV pole is supposed to do, you know roll around anyway you want it to go? I had to shove at it to get to the bathroom. It was an impediment to say the least.
So I had a defective pole and after my surgery I knew they wanted me up and walking. Well about 1:00 AM I decided to go for a stroll in hallways. The hall was empty except for a woman working on a computer with the most amazingly cool, long down to her butt dreadlocks and me loaded up on Percoset with a bit of morphine.
Anyway, I come out of my room with my defective pole and the darn thing won't move. All I could do was hold onto it and walk around in circles. Round and round. I had on my fashionable hospital gown and another one on backwards for butt coverage and my flipflops. So I was just walking around my pole in circles fairly well up on the Percoset and looking into the doors of my neighbors to see who's up. THEY ARE ALL MEN!! I didn't know they put men and women together on the same floor! And these guys are AWAKE. At 1 AM they are awake and watching me twirl around and around with my pole!
So all this begins to look pretty hilarious to me in my present condition and I start playing it up to act like a pole dancer! OMG! The lady on the computer looks at me over her bifocals and says I'm looking pretty hot and to keep it up!! Well that apparently was all it took for me to really vamp up my pole dancing! The world's oldest pole dancer! The guys in the rooms are totally cracking me up. They are actually LIKING THIS!! Across the hall from me was this huge guy who kept burping for some reason - probably from gallbladder issues which I later found out can happen when the gallbladder goes. There was another guy who sang hymns. Next door to me was pretty cute guy about 15 years younger than me and he is watching me too with his hands locked behind his head just looking out his doorway! Here I am - High Hanna - the midnight entertainment!
Things were really getting going when the big cheese main floor nurse shows up and sees me dancing with my defective pole. She was all nice about it though acting like I was a psych ward patient and asks me what's wrong with my pole? I said it only goes round in circles so she IMMEDIATELY finds me a pole that will roll. I said I didn't mind going in circles but she said, "OH NO, we need you to have a pole in good working order!" She was no nonsense. So, that was the end of my show. Meanwhile, I discover there is a video camera up on the ceiling that looked like a big shiney black eyeball. Well I decided to wave at the eyeball. OMG. I am probably on film in that hospital now.
Later in the morning at shift change around 7 AM, I overheard the big cheese main floor nurse telling the new nurse how all of us are doing up there on the med/surg floor. Burpy guy, hymn guy, cute guy. When she got to me she said, "Well, she is a VERY pleasant lady but last night, she was acting a little strange...probably from the meds"..... HAH! I tell you what, NOBODY can keep me in line these days. Where was I going with this? OH, I remember.
Well, by that time it was morning with the sun up and I am equipped with a pole that will roll so I figure I can scope out the floor to find a real cup of coffee somewhere. Everyone is smiling at me.....I'm not sure why....but I rolled on down to the main desk where everybody is hanging out and the visitors come to check in. I hadn't seen this area before probably because I arrived on a stretcher or a wheelchair I believe. That part is a bit of a blur. ANYWAY to FINALLY get to my original point.....the most wonderful woman in the world with white hair and a baby pink sweater smiled at me and said to me,...."Good morning sweetie! How would you like a cup of coffee?!?" I said, You mean REAL coffee?? She said she just made fresh pot and she'd fix me a cup anyway I wanted it!! I would have taken it in my IV at the time, but I asked for some cream if she had it and she did! What an angel! Let me tell you, that coffee definitely was one of the BEST coffees I have ever had!!
So for now, that's about it. Hi DebC! I'm sorry about your daggone nose bleeds. I hate it enough when my gums bleed let alone a nose bleed. Frankly you get to the point when you're fed up with seeing your own blood out in plain sight. BTW, the ants are now goners for the most part. My dd took me out to shop in the middle of the night last night and we got a bunch of those ant hotels and spray and she did em in. She is a nightowl.
Hi back to everybody else!! Shirley I luv luved your cute little waving smiley!! Otter, Sue, Lisa, Debbie, Viv, Mel, Nicki, Miss Lolli, Wish, gosh, I'm starting to get dizzy! Blue you always have good lookin' dudes for avatars! Cat I don't think I met you yet, but I'm praying for you today. Hoping for SNB only for you. Another thing is I'm getting one of those protection sleeves for the node arm because I literally had to force a fongool male nurse NOT to take my BP on my node arm at the 3 AM vitals check even though there was a sign up over my head in plain sight!! You never know when one of those sleeve things would come in handy.
Love you all
hanna 0 -
Hanna, hanna, hanna! I bet you are THE talk of shift changes and most likely on video somewhere on UTUbe!
Too funny! The best thing, I can't find a complaint in there after you got your caffiene kick! Lovely angle in pink hey? I don't remember having no caffeine orders with the gall bladder out, although mine was outpatient. In 2005, I had the gall bladder, a 7 cm dermoid cyst with ovary removed and a D&C in a combo surgery, and went home within an hour or so. Weird you stayed overnight? I didn't know they did anymore!I'm thinking the no caffeine is probably any surgical pt b/c of bleeding or such perhaps. Glad you are doing well after the surgery! Continue to heal well!
I have to complain here though too. I keep thinking about that danged GYNO telling me if I don't hear from him about a treatment option in 10 days to call and remind him? So....I'm thinking this thursday is 7 days. IF I CALL him then and say, well.....You know...I was never good at playing secretary, and must have counted wrong? SO WHAT's the INFO IDIOT???????????????? I'm still burning about it!
The other thought I had (devious mind), was to make and appt and send DH in my place to the appt? Perhaps the 2 MEN could find a solution to painful sex you think?????????? IDIOTS! ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS WITHOUT QUALIFICATIONS FOR ANYTHING MORE THAN THINKING WITH THEIR PITIFUL LITTLE MINDS BELOW THEIR BELTS! ugh
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LOL! I had a whole lot to say to everyone but can only think of Hanna IV-pole dancing! I'm going to have to remember that one next time I'm in the hospital!
So, a generic "THAT SUCKS, Y'ALL!" is going to have to do for today. I, once again, have a mixed bag:
Yesterday was my youngest son's 12th birthday. He had been extremely indecisive about what he would like to receive as a gift so we chose to give him cash. He was happy with that idea.
The XELODA has kicked my azz so bad that I had only been out of the house once in two weeks and have spent most of my time in bed or sitting on said fat azz. It was up to me to take son #3 out to spend the cash. I loaded up on pain meds and we jumped in the car and headed out for a day of shopping in a nearby town. Driving was a struggle with me being doped up, but we made it. We actually made it to all of the places we planned to go. We stopped for lunch and I gobbled down some more pain meds before hitting a couple more stores and heading home. It really was a lot of fun having a "date" with my baby...b.c. (before cancer), I used to have the energy and opportunity to have one on one dates with each of my boys. Now, not so much. Son #3 was thrilled to have found a couple of the items he had on his wish list and mom found some tremendous bargains. All in all, a good day...
This morning........OMG! I feel as though someone took a baseball bat and just pounded my lower back and pelvis. Normally, my pain from the bone mets is pretty well controlled. I have had problems taking my usually effective pain meds on schedule because of the XELODA nausea and it's been an uphill battle trying to keep ahead of the pain. Holy crap...even sitting on the fat azz and lying down HURTS!!! THAT SUCKS. I'm now trying to figure out what and how much I can take of a painkiller in order to drive over an hour each way for my AVASTIN/ZOMETA/ZOLADEX tomorrow...
Happy "hump day"....may your IOS be few.
(((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
Hanna's pole dancing account made my frigging day. That did not suck.
Caffeine withdrawal sucks. Playing secretary to a doctor sucks. Painful sex sucks. Minimizers suck. Baseball-bat-to-back-and-pelvis pain sucks.
And you know what else sucks? Drug names. "Xeloda" "Zometa" and "Zoladex." Fine, I don't expect my drugs to be called "Muffiny" or "Sugar cupcake of sunshine" but really, what's with all the "X"s and "Zs"? What's wrong with calling a drug, say, "Robert". ("What kind of chemo are you getting?" "I'm on Robert at the moment, but then I'm switching to Charles, Jr." "Let me know how you get along with Charles. He gave me horrible gas" etc.)
And while I'm on carping, and as I have noted elsewhere, there are two words that should never in the name of all that is holy be put next to each other much less uttered during an early morning call to the onco nurse: "Bleeding." and "Hemorrhoids." That's all I'm saying. As if The Exorcist-rivaling reality doesn't suck enough....
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