Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Goodness. Home so late and so many posts. I mentioned this in the past but I feel like running around in circles going lalalalalalala! I'll start with some not so sucky news. The meeting at work went great. We have a 40 bed unit that will be changed to a cancer specialty unit. So those people with all kinds of cancer that need rehabilitation after certain treatments will be able to come there. This is cool. I became onc certified a couple of months ago and thought it would be all for naught!
Im home so late and I want to answer every single one of you. Why? Because thats what I do. But heck its 6:30 pm and I havent even had dinner yet. Do you think we every move beyond? I dont, I think we just move along!
DebC: Sorry dear friend, but you need a hug today.
Felicia: How awful about your friend. Remember the feeling of hopelessness? I do - it was awful and I cant imagine someone doing it alone. Give her time. Tell her to journal and write those feelings down.
Shirley: It must be something in the air. For some reason life just seems tough right now. Time for a vacation?
OK - everyone else. Hate these work days. One more day, two days off. 4 more days, 10 days off. Whoo hoo.
Nicki
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I am just plain pissy...there.
Sending big huge hugs to everyone ...taking a Xanex and going to bed!
Is there a beach around here where EVERYONE is welcome? Can't seem to find it.
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Vickie, I'm with you. I would love to go to the beach. I like hearing the sound of waves and smelling suntan lotion. I don't even mind a little sand in my lunch! Point me in the right direction!
Here's my suckiness--I am a teacher and I love my job, but this summer I keep being called in to do little jobs like testing new students and counting books. I don't get paid anything for these jobs, either. I know it's dumb, but I hate being called in to do all this stuff. I also found out I have to see my surgeon about some bleeding in a not so nice place. YUCK! I am so not looking forward to that.
Deb, I am so sorry you don't have an end date for chemo. That is a HUGE sucky thing. I remember counting down every treatment.
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Traci - it breaks my heart to hear of CindyKS's passing. What a gawdawful travesty this 'treatment' is sometimes.
No wonder so many of us are feeling pissy. No wonder Felicia's friend is feeling nearly hopeless before she's even begun. Sure, there are good days, there's cause for optimism galore. But S#IT, I hate losing sisters! I hate that so many of us are struggling to find ways to deal with the ravages not only of what this disease did, but the treatments also. I hate that some of are facing endless treatments, some of us are dealing with pain that treatment isn't helping. This is the best modern American medicine can do for us?!!? THIS SUCKS!
Enough of my being pissy, too. I'm not helping anyone, am I? Let's all think about Hanna pole-dancing!
For that matter, how about a puppy picture!
Or maybe TWO puppy pictures?!? Here's the little Princess in her 'play-pose' - isn't it something how all dogs do this same bow when they want to play?
There, that's gotta be a little better. Unless of course you are totally a cat person and think that is just an annoying little creature. If so, sorry.
Heaving hopes for less suckitude out in the direction of all!
Lisa
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Just wanted to check in - Oh my, oh my...
Forgive me for not responding to everyone. My excuse today is CHEMO! I thought I was feeling better than the last time (and I am) but I'm not holding information too well, unless it's repeated 19 times, here's a big THAT SUCKS for everyone!
But I have to say that "Robert" (or maybe it was Roberto) was kind to me today, so far.
Rock, my friend, you are too funny and I am sorry about bleeding issue - owie!
Sue - Go get 'em! I find I say many things now at work that I would normally have repressed and DON"T CARE!
Diane - Don't know why you're hurting, but it SUCKS anyway!
Felicia - I am sending hugs your way to pass on to your gf. I am really hoping she finds some close support.
DebC - {{{Hugs}}}
That's about all I can manage today, ladies. I will check in with ya'll tomorrow...
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Hanna, I loved your pole dance story. That was a great laugh. I too would LOVE to see it on YouTube. Could you please physically repeat it and tape it and put it on YouTube? We could use a good laugh. And, dear, you tell a great story! Oh, and glad you got that cup of java!
Wish, I think your idea of sending your dh to the gyn sounds great. Just don't let the assistant put him in those stirrups. We'd want that on YouTube too. Wish, you have a helluva time with docs. I too hope you get someone who you can understand, and who can understand you. I now how annoyed I get when I talking to someone on the phone from another country. Geez, but a doc!
{{{{{Diane}}}}}, I'm sooooo you are experiencing so much pain. But I'm so happy you had a great date with your son. I'm sure by not being able to take your pain meds on time because of the darned Xeloda, that that doesn't help one bit. Yep, need to stay AHEAD of the pain. I took Xeloda for six months. It made me so tired. I hope you found someone today to take you to your treatment/s. I love your humor and your spirit. Instead of chemo kicking a$$, we need to kick chemo's a$$! I hate that word, chemo-therapy! It's a freaking scary word.
Rock, Robert AND Charles, Jr. Wow, you are a WILD WOMAN! Did you say hemorrhoids? You poor dear. That really sucks!
Felicia, I was again so sad to hear about your young friend. Why are people so damned inconsiderate. I can't believe family can treat family like this. She's so young to have to go through this AND by herself. And I'm so sorry she just feels like "giving up." It's depressing enough to get this news, but even more so when no one is "available" to help. My family and friends were my rock. I couldn't have done it without them. Geez, I wish I could just hold her. My DDs are in their 30s. I would be horrified if they had to go through this. And, especially alone. You think we could send her some cards or something to cheer her up? I feel so helpless.
Indi, you too know how to tell a story. That musta scared the crap out of the animal you swerved to miss. LOL Seriously, it musta scared the heck out of you. You should write a book so you can buy your dh another car. Some of you gals are so great with words. You could put your thoughts together and have a number 1 best seller!
Sue, oh man, working at three in the morning as a Traffic Controller...that calls for some strong, strong coffee! And I like the way you handled yourself with the woman who worked for Air Traffic Oversight. "Oversight." Hmmmm...yep, even SHE can make a mistake. LOL LOVED IT!
Otter, I finally gave in and had one of THEM colonoscopies. My primary had been reminding me for at least 10 years. After taking finishing all the "bc stuff" I finally gave in. It must have been at least six months after or perhaps a year. It wasn't too bad. However, I never went to sleep. It takes a sledge hammer to knock me out. I watched it on the "tube." I didn't know what I was watching. I felt like Katie Couric. LOL The doc told my dh that he could have given me more sleeping stuff, but that I was doing just fine. Glad he didn't feel my cramping. We went out for breakfast afterwards and as soon as I got home I lost it..yep, you got it. I didn't throw it up. It was good going down, and I didn't have to worry about all those calories I had taken in.
Dani, while reading your post I thought about what my dh says when I go shopping. I tell him I got a good deal on so-in-so. He then says, why didn't you buy 10 of them? Of course, that was sarcasm. He swears I still have tags on clothes that I don't wear. NO! Not me.
What a dear friend you are to your friend. It's always nice to have a "second Mom." I had one and I don't know what I would have done without her.
ICanDo/Sue, so sorry to hear about your friend and her dx. I hope none of my friends ever have to go through this dx and treatment. I never dreamed in a million years it would happen to me. I was dxd at the age of 58. I believe that's when I truly lost my innocence. And, you gave a wonderful description of a colonoscopy. I see it took a lot to knock you out too. Heck, when I went in for my mast the anesthesiologist gave me something to "relax" me. And, I had already take a .5 mg of Xanax..they said I could. Anyway, I was feeling calm. He asked if I wanted more. Shoot, I said might as well. Well, by the time they rolled me into surgery and I said goodbye to my girls I was almost out. All I can remember was them putting that mask over me and telling me to take a deep breath..and I could smell the rubber from the mask. I don't remember them putting me on the "table." Did the mask come before the table or did the table come before the mask? I wish the colonoscopy people would have been so generous.
Traci, I hate, hate, hate to hear losing another woman to this damned disease! I hate hearing when a woman is dxd. I'm so sorry.
Cat, so glad you came are done with your surgery. Doesn't it feel good to get that part behind you? And just think. You now have ONE perky nipple!
GuitarGrl, It's not easy losing a good friend. My brother has prostate cancer. He had seeds (not sure how you spell it) implanted. I'm sorry for your loss.
{{{{{Deb}}}}}, I think about all you stage IV women. How strong you have to be. Not always. I know it can happen to me. I had 5/7 nodes positive with extranodal extension. My ex-onc had me do six months of Xeloda after all the other treatments were done including radiation. When he told me I was going to do this for six months I all I could say was, six months? I remember the look on his face. It scares the crap out of me to think I'd have to be in treatment without an end.
Nicki, that IS good news. Isn't it good to see hard work pay off. And, being onc certified...WONDERFUL!
Vickie and Sheri, I live about 10 minutes from the beach depending on traffic. C'mon down! Sheri, just one more annoying doc appointment! That sucks!
Lisa, your baby made me smile. Just love that second pose. What a cutie!
Cristine, yeah, you got through another treatment! How many more do you have? I can't keep up. Hope your chemo brain gets better. HOPE MINE GETS BETTER!
Well, my suckiness...all the suckiness going on here....sisters losing friends, sisters without someone by their side while going through this BS, sisters with mets with no chemo end in sight, sisters being dxd with bc, sisters being in pain, and more. It all SUCKS! It's after 12 AM here so it's another day. Hope today is better for those who have had sucky days. I wish you more unsucky days....MANY MORE!
Shirley
Just had to add a song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1fWmc1y4qc&feature=related
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For all those IOS, please accept my heart-felt "THAT SUCKS!"
I actually had a pretty good day today--considering...
My port didn't give blood return initially, but I managed to corner the "good nurse" and she got it working again. I didn't see my regular onc so couldn't discuss Dolly and her complete ignorance and severe foot-in-mouth disease with him (will do so next time though, you can count on that!) but ended up with a true doll as the "fill in" onc. I could have just sat and talked with him all afternoon. I didn't get anyone to drive me, but then son #3 decided to come with me. It's the first time one of my boys has joined me at an onc appointment other that the quick radiation treatments. We enjoyed good conversation on the trip up and back and he was THRILLED to eat HOSPITAL FOOD! lol! He charmed all the nurses, of course. He watched my ZOLADEX injection and marvelled at the size of the needle. Seeing him try to describe it later was like watching a fisherman talk about the one that got away. You'd think the needle was as big as a pencil.
My pain from the over-doing it on Tuesday hasn't improved but has, in fact, increased. I realized today that the combination of an AVASTIN infusion and ZOMETA infusion on the same day is a sure recipe for the ouchies if you have bone mets. I have decided, though, that the pain is all those disgusting f#*$&% cancer cells being fried. I actually FELT the AVASTIN rush to the sites in my lower back and pelvis that are so full of cancer. Die you bas#*#$, DIE! Even though today the pain isn't better, the fill-in onc wrote a script for a different med that he is confident will help and won't make me more nauseated on the XELODA. So, I know I'm in for a couple of not-so-good pain days, but am hopeful the new stuff is going to help.
I got the shock of my life yesterday when I received some mail demanding nearly $10k that I don't owe. Part of the problem was poor bookkeeping on their part and part was bogus charges. It's a big stinking hairy mess and I just want to pretend I never opened the mail. Of course, I'm also being threatened with court, garnishment of my (nonexistent as I have no income) wages and PRISON if I don't pay by July 20. SUH-WEET. I almost hope the sheriff shows up at my door to take me in. I think I need to check our shovel inventory.
Anyway, if I appear to drop off the earth on July 21, would someone bake a cake with a file in it?
Oh, and dh has informed me that our bills are so behind (he took them over when I was dx'ed to help me de-stress--hasn't really kept me in the loop on the details) that we will probably be losing our home in the next couple of months.Oh, but I'm supposed to be really excited because he's going to find a DOUBLEWIDE (don't get me started) that will be soooooooooooo much better when I'm confined to a wheelchair. Way to be supportive and optimistic there, buck-o! He's really not being an a-hole. He's working his azz off and the S#(% just keeps happening. One step forward, 30 steps back sort of thing. I'm praying things work themselves out somehow because we're sure at a loss as to how to fix them. I could fix the 10k thing with the help of a lawyer. Of course, if I could afford a lawyer I wouldn't have the problem in the first place. GRRRRRRR
So, that sucks y'all!
(((HUGS)))
Diane0 -
Two poems.
Untitled.
Money problems, accounting errors
Make me wanna pull out my remaining hairs.
A Root Beer Suck Float
Colonoscopies and distracted nipples
(Pass me a pint of vanilla fudge ripple)
Being all things to all people, a storm in the port
(On the other hand, make it a quart)
Smart a** professionals who are actually dumb
(Could you add some kalua, or maybe some rum?)
People dying too soon, Mets out the wazoo
(Never mind the spoons, a shovel will do.)
***Yeah, not one of my better efforts. I just liked the title.
**** I am not a cat or a dog person. I am not a person who goes "Oh, wookat the widdle puppy cutie googlie pie". However! In the face of such cuteness, Lisa... it's hard to resist!
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I'm laughing with/at you guys because I just noticed from the "views/responses" stats how popular this thread is. I guess everyone LOVES to bitch and moan. LOL Keep on keeping on.
Is this where I flip the world a bird??? Go, granny, go.
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Greetings everyone! Oh my...I lost a couple of days here. Wednesday was the surgery and yesterday was a bit of a foggy blur. I woke up with a clear head this morning. A huge thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers...I am relieved to have the surgery behind me now and happy the SNB was negative. Of course I don't trust this cancer, so the fears that some sneaky little cancer cells snuck out of the breast are still tucked safely away in the back of my mind. How can you ever, ever relax and be happy about the good news. Do you ever stop worrying about what you can never know for sure? I just hate this and it definitely SUCKS! I am waiting patiently (yeah right!) for the final pathology results and the onco test. The Path should be today, but onco test takes 10-14 days they tell me.
I have been trying to catch up on all the posts from the last few days. Gheesh...I smiled, I giggled, I cried. You are all so amazing to face all of these things that are happening. I am truly in awe. There are too many posts to comment on each, but I add my resounding shout "THAT SUCKS" wherever appropriate!
Nicki...a fellow nurse! A sisterhood within a sisterhood. You are so right about the journal thing. I started one on the day I was called back for "a few more pictures" after my routine mammo. That led to another mammo, an US and a biopsy. I really knew in my heart on that day that I had this stinking disease. You are in Chicago?? I love Chicago in the summer...Blues Fest, Jazz Fest, Taste of Chicago, the Air &Water Show. I only lived in Chicago for a few years, but I loved every minute of it. It is my second favorite place in the country after, of course, my home in Minneapolis.
Lisa...I am a complete animal person! I love your puppy, even though I just have 5 cats now. I have not had the heart to get another dog yet after I lost my beloved Howard Huge (a 117# yellow lab) to hemangiosarcoma. He was only 4 years old but I adored him and still miss him. Since he lived with so many cats (I had as many as 9 foster kitties besides my own 5) he actually thought he was a cat. Like trying to sit curled up on my lap. He was charming.
Lori...You are right about this NW of the cities area. Plymouth and Maple Grove are growing so fast I almost didn't recognize many areas when I came back after living out of state for 10 years. I really like it out here though. The downside is the commute to work at the U of M...494>394>94 and then dealing with the parking around the U is a nightmare. Cottage Grove is lovely. I have lots of family on the St. Paul side of the river...I was born in St. Paul. Hey, maybe we have the same surgeon? Todd Tuttle at the U of M Breast Center is who I see and Dr. Haddad is the onc. I am so happy with all of the people in the center and it is convenient for me since I work at the hospital next door. I hope I continue to be happy with their care. It sounds like there can be lots of problems with breast cancer care for so many people on these boards. I am pretty new to all of this, but so far happy.
Remember me telling you about "Becky", one of my nurse coworkers who said having bc was "no big deal anymore, because everyone has it"?? She showed up at my bedside in the hospital with a big bouquet of flowers and a card. I was quite shocked by this. Do you think she was just so dense she didn't realize the impact of her words or do you think she just doesn't get it?? I am confused. Even though the flowers did not cause me to forgive her previously insensitive words, they did come in handy: After surgery on Wednesday, my mouth kept being extremely dry. I was fighting nausea and sipping on water and ice all afternoon in the hospital. I had a cracker and when I nibbled the tiniest piece it seemed to just grow in my mouth and everything felt stuck and nasty...like a huge mouthful of peanutbutter. I finally got the cracker down and drank enough to satisfy the nurse. I got up to pee a couple of times. I should have taken something to drink with me when I was discharged, but I didn't think of it. They took me down to the lobby, my son and dil and dd were waiting with the car and the Becky flowers. We all got in, son driving...me in the front seat and the girls in the back. We drive off and I am feeling pretty darned good. Chatting and giving my son directions on how to get out of the maze by the U of M and out to the freeway. Just as we were about to get on the entrance ramp I had what I guess must have been a real full blown anxiety/panic attack. I don't know for sure, I never had one before. I had this sudden sense that I could NOT swallow...my throat felt closed and like I was choking or something. The sun was bright and beating into my head and eyes through the windshield. I was gagging and reaching for the handle of the door to just JUMP OUT of a moving car. I have no idea where I thought I was going to go but I felt like just had to get out and find something to drink. Nobody had anything; not a partial bottle of water, not a flat warm soda, nothing in the car....EXCEPT Becky's flowers. I grabbed them from my daughter, pulled the flowers out of the vase and took a huge swallow of the flower water. I didn't let the water go down my throat...just let it wet my mouth and I gargled it and spit it back into the vase and popped the flowers back in. I took a piece of gum to make some of my own spit and the panic/anxiety passed. It freaked me out..and needless to say my kids and dil thought I had lost my mind. After the incident I just kept on talking like nothing had happened. It was embarassing and I don't really understand what happened.
Has anyone ever had this kind of thing happen. I am usually a "cool as a cucumber trauma nurse" kind of person...not a whimpy panic attack type. So many changes!! ...and they SUCK. I don't know who I am anymore.0 -
I forgot to update the sucky things from today. My lumpectomy boob is a darker color of purple this morning and still quite perky. It makes the healthy one look kind droopy and sickly (no perky on that side) If the Lumpy one wasn't such a strange color it would look pretty darned good. It has that nice round, fluffy look of years gone by. Too bad it is swelling and not real fluff! They must really dig in there for the node. Good grief I can't imagine how you all suffered with 10-20 nodes being dissected out. I am whining and complaining about ONE. It hurts and burns like a ****.
OK enough. Hope the day for all is minimally Suckish.
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Well my official, yet on the scale of low bitches is - I wrote a whole long post to all of you this morning and didnt save it. LIstened to Shirely's "Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" video - and lost the whole darn thing! By that time it was late I had to hit the showers and get ready for work.
So I wash, blow dry, and set my hair with hot curlers. Its pretty hot and humid, so despite having central A/C by time I put my makeup on my whole head started sweating. Hair totally wet. So I sprayed some curly stuff on it, and enjoyed my ride to work with the air condtioning blowing full blast at my face. Well - lets say I was just a little wild and frizzy!
Vickie: what can I say. Being just plain bitchy - it sucks. Hope that xanax helped. You must check out the new "Wonders of the World" thread - Im pointing you in the right direction.
Sheri: You are on vacation. Hmmm why not answer the telephone? What if you were away lets say for a month? Getting called into work while on vacation sucks! Unless I planned on being available. I say - turn the darn phone off!
Lisa: OMG! That puppy is so adorable. Gotta love puppies. Im a cat and dog person. Maybe this week-end I will show ya all a picture of my two cats Wesley and Leslie. Thanks for the chuckle. Smiling does not suck.
Cristine: Well Im glad Robert was kinder to you - but chemo still sucks. I can picture all of us walking around with our shiney shovels saying "Im hormone deprived, and guess what, I dont care."
Shirley: OK - so what beach do you live by and is that an invitation for all of us to come visit you? Oh Oh and will there be food? I loved the sun video. Sorta made my morning, until the hair thingy.
Diane: I wrote a long post to you this morning and chemobrain prevents me from remember everything I said. But geesh - what a day you had. Nice that your son went with you to the oncs office. I would have said you got away cheap by having him eat hospital food, but nowadays it aint so cheap! How old are your sons? This isnt the first time I have heard someone say the combination of Zometa and Avastin is painful. I sure hope the new pain medication is helping. Wishing you didnt have to go through this, but picturing the chemo attacking those cancer cells - you gave me a good visual. For some reason I thought they couldnt go after someone related to medical bills. I wonder if that is a state law? I have never seen anyone screw up as much as hospitals. Everytime I see a new building or new wing, I think to myself - yep I helped build that sucker. I feel bad for you DH. He is trying - just needs to take his size 12 shoe out of his mouth.
Rock: Loved the poems. Would write one myself, but ummm too tired right now.
Tina: Haha it is quite popular and sometimes I find I actually have to take notes. This one is for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YMFIskhoNE
Cat: Yep, Chicago is a pretty cool place. Gonna start posting some pictures of it on the "wonders of the world"thread. Anyways - Taste of Chicago starts tomorrow! And if Im going there, I need to go to Navy Pier! Your experience sounds awful! First of all - I hate this, get surgery and go home so quickly! Even though I would rather be at home with my own germs - its tough having surgery as an outpatient. When I had my implants put in, I puked all the way home. Poor husband had to keep pulling the car over for me. Sure sounds like an anxiety/panic attack to me. Although I did giggle when I read you drank the flower water and didnt swallow it lol. Sounds to me like they should have kept you longer. Glad your home, things went consering your dealing with one of the bigger traumas in your life. Good luck on that path report today. Oh and yes - wondering about tiny cells hiding - it sucks.
Hanna: Ya know I never had panic/anxiety attacks until breast cancer. Wonder how many of us are out there. Always carry a xanax with me. And a Darvocet for the sudden onset of some unexpected pain somewhere that I cant blame on anything.
Well its Friday - Im getting a glass of wine, and going to try to relax. Not easy since I was always told I had ants in my pants.
Nicki
If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future - look into your present actions.
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Diane, I'm so glad you had a "good day" getting treatment.."considering"...yeah, I remember that. Oh, and I loved my port. My onc didn't ask me if I wanted it. He just ordered it. Course I was sorta "dumb" about stuff. LOL
I bet your son thought his mom was the bravest person EVER when he saw the needle. I never look at those "things." I turn my head. I'm certainly not a CatMcK. However, I'm getting better at watching the Health Discovery channel when they do C-sections and cut the woman...LOL But, no REAL operating room for me! I hope the pain pills work much better for you.
Heck, I don't want to even think about debt. DH retired to early. He miscalculated...thought contracting work for Bell South would be good. Nope...went down hill not long after he retired. He used to travel to Maryland and Virginia and Pennsylvania for jobs. Well, that's gone too. I'm waiting for the money to run out. Then WTH! Sorry you're having your share of suckiness! Rock, loved the poem. How do you do that?
Cat, it's nice to be clear headed again. I remember how happy I was getting out of that hospital. We had a two hour drive home, but it was wonderful!
I'm one of those "wimpy" ones. REAL wimpy. Without my family and God, no way could have gotten through all the things that go along with bc. Panic attacks suck! My problem is anxiety. My bp would most of the time go up when I saw my primary. He'd have to take it a couple of times because he knew I had White Coat Syndrome. After seeing docs on a regular basis I'm better about my seeing my primary. My bp is usually pretty good. LOL But I do take something for anxiety. Now when you hear about someone having a panic attach you'll know what they mean. Hey, the water from the vase...I would have never thought of that. SURVIVAL mode!
Nicki, sorry about you losing your post. I HATE when that happens. And I can so relate to dripping while getting ready. While I'm trying to use the curling iron my face just drips. My head is soaked. It's horrible!
Wrightsville Beach is the closest to me...then there's Carolina Beach, Kure Beach..Myrtle Beach is a little over an hour away. But we like Wrightsville Beach the most..well, I don't. I don't like going to the beach. It's too hot and sandy. I'm a wimp. Yep, we always have food around here. That's why I need to lose weight?
LOL about "Go Granny Go." If gas prices don't come down I'll be driving one of those things. Loved the video. But, why were they clapping after she and the telephone booth was knocked off the cliff? I ain't too bright!
Well, guess I need to think about food..dinner. I'll let dh think instead.
Hope everyone has a pleasant evening.
Shirley
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My gripe for the day is that I had written a post earlier and it vaporized when the BCO site went down for maintenance. I think my post went something like this:
Rock, you've outdone yourself. "A Root Beer Suck Float"? I love it. I'm having a very slight case of post-chemo blahs today. No particular reason for it--just thinking life should be getting back to normal but not knowing exactly how to do that. (Oops--wrong thread--that goes on Patrice's thread, right?)
otter
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Otter, as I prance around in my new Crocs enjoying some much needed relief from the searing burn on my peeling left foot, I've been thinking of you, wondering "Does Otter have a pair of these? I wonder if these would cheer Otter up?" Because they are goofy, cartoony looking shoes and supercomfy. ($30, shipped (free) overnight. www.endless.com.) Zappos has a lot of other styles. I am sorry to hear about the post-chemo blahs. Sucks. I am a believer in the restorative powers of treats. Like ice cream floats and carrot cake.
I also have scored some relief for the eyeburn: Refresh Liquigel.
For someone whose body is apparently dismantling ('roids, feet, hand, eyes, chemopause), I actually feel pretty damned good!
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Shirley- I agree there is too much suckiness here today. Traci's friend, Felicia's friend Susan's friend!!! Will cancer ever stop ruining peoples lives???????????????
Felicia- Try to get her on here or get the number to local cancer center in her treatment facility and call them and let them know how she is acting! I am sure most cancer patients have been there with her. Why keep trying if it all ends up shi* anyway. But I learned from my BF that died a horrible death from colon cancer each day did matter to her. She went through the I want to give up, luckily I lived across the street and would not hear of it! Then when I thought you have to stop fighting you can not take anymore, she had colonbag, stomach tube, and finally TPN where you can not eat or drink anything at all! She had it spread everywhere and was in so much pain.
But those last days meant everything to her!
Please keep on her!
Take care girls,
Daniella
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Otter, it takes time. Hang in there. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I was just reminded by Otter about the Root Beer Float. Hmmm...I have Root Beer and vanilla ice cream. I remember getting those delish floats from the A&W drive in "resaurant." Hmmmm...telling my age.
Shirley
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OH, you guys...the sh#(*$^ just keeps on coming....could you please pray/meditate/offer a ham sandwich to the powers that be in my name? I'm having a REALLY rough day.
That sucks.
Diane
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Praying for you, Diane, that the Lord will banish your IOS and replace it with a wonderful weekend.
Shirley, I love Wrightsville Beach, or Carolina, or Fort Fisher. The water's just a wee bit too salty. I used to live in Myrtle Beach, but it is far too crowded for my present taste.
For now, I think I'm gonna join Nicki for a glass of wine to kick off the weekend.
Maybe I'll come back later and tell you about my IOS.
Miss S
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Diane,
For some "unknown" reason, I have been praying for you today. I won't stop. Hope your day gets better, and you feel "the powers that be" walking right beside you, and they give you feelings of peace and no pain. Know that you are loved and precious. I am praying that something wonderful happens for you tonight.
Love,
Sue
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Oh, Diane! Sucks that your day is rough. Extra thick ham sammy being offered up for ya. But when all else fails, sometimes you just gotta hit something (notice I didn't say someBODY - unless, of course it is our pal, Becky!). Sofa pillows work fine - plus they make your living room look oh so much more comfy...
My gym is right next to an AJ Wright store (think low-end TJ Maxx; I think they are run by the same company). Anyway, I was in there today looking for a few swim trunks for my son (who starts camp on Monday and who has ZERO suits from last year that fit! WTH?!?). They had the nerve to announce that they'd take an additional 25% off of all red ticketed clearance items. OMG - my quick $15 jaunt turned into a three shopping bags afternoon...
Anyway, I did find one of those blow up punching bags, though (simply amazing what you can find inthe clearance bins these days). It was originally $15 and I got it for about $4. Taking it to my friend so she can kick the sh*t out of it for stress relief. The sale goes on through Sunday; I'll see if I can find another one for you, boo!
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Otter,
I have been feeling those post tx blahs too. I think that my wishing things would just get back to normal has been the source of my depression. It seems to be getting better, in stages. I am feeling just 'a little bit better'. Heck, I'll take what I can get!Diane,
I'm praying for you. Prayers REALLY DO work! God listens, and HE is carrying you through this rough time, you just have to believe it WILL get better!
Ok... here's MY gripe:
Yesterday, I in the mail, I got a summons to appear in court for... you got it! JURY DUTY! Now, I don't mind serving on jury duty, but EVERY TIME I have ever been summoned for jury duty, it has been at a very bad time for me. I guess I should just be glad that I didn't get this LAST YEAR, while I was in active tx... This time LAST YEAR, I was trying to decide whether to get chemo.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! I have to work tomorrow, at that "Saturday" job.
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..<3
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Hi All,
Finally went back to work 2 weeks after expander surgery. I work in a frame shop and use drills, screwdrivers, hammers, etc. I cannot stand the flexing and popping of the expander when I have to bear down on something. Not painful but very, very wierd.
Hanna, the pole dance was a riot.
Diane, sorry you are in so much pain. I got a bill from my hospital for $67,838.00 for an excisional biopsy! Big mistake!
Cat, glad you are out of the hospital.
I get my first fill on 7/2/08 and have a out of town event on 7/4-7/6. Hope I am not in too much pain to enjoy and swim in the hotel pool.
Debbie
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Awww, Diane, you got it. With all of us praying for you something's gotta five. Like Hanna said, you are such a wonderful mom and so funny. You make us laugh although you may be in pain. I wish there was something we could do to help you. Please let us know how you're doing. I know the financial worries do not help. Stick your head in the sand (that's what I do). Hope you have a restful night, and God Bless.
Shirley
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Diane - {{{Hugs}}} and prayers to you, girl.
Otter- You just reminded me that I wrote a couple of posts this morning that were also lost to Never, Never land. That fact that I just remembered that reinforces my belief that I have chemobrain today.
Rock - Poems are always good.
Nicki - Thanks, yes, chemo still sucks, but maybe not as bad this time. I'll see.
Shirley - This one was #2 - I have 2 more in this course (Carbo & Cytoxan) and then 4 rounds of Taxotere. Yee-haw!
Cat - I hear you about the node thing. Mine were clear, but I have played the "what if" game, too. I guess that's what the chemo is for - to catch any of those little suckers floatin' around.
Chemobrain and meds are not letting me do too much tonight. Hoping for less suckiness tomorrow for all.
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Cat - glad you're home. I just loved me my chaise, with pillows. I think I slept for 48 hrs after surgery - gotta love that Vicodin, so I have no idea what color boob was - I think, maroon?
Debbie, I almost spit out my ice tea when I read about your popping expanders.
Shirley - you are so kind to all of us. I feel cared for when I read your comments - even when they're about something SUCKY.
Diane - I read theassertivepatient blog site, and she described hiring a medical billing consultant for $25 per hour, and she found like hundreds of dollars of errors and knew how to appeal bills. I've heard really positive comments about these consultants from other people. It sucks that you have to be under this much stress.
Harley - Jury duty? Wow, that could truly suck. Anybody who got me on a jury right now had better watch it - I might burst into tears during testimony.
Otter - it sucks that you have post treatment blahs! You have been so there for the rest of us, it's time for life to be kind to you.
Cristine - I hope for less suckiness in our lives as well.
Sleep well, all
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Otter,
Is it too hot for the boat? You two could go out there are you could wear a Katherine Hepburn hat with the netting/shade thingie that goes over your neck, and dh could wear a disreputable hat and pants that tie at the waist like Bogie in the African Queen.....only you wouldn't have to be this proper lady (although I would recommend and hope for Air Conditioning in the cabin or at the very least, excellent ventilation)...
Sorry you have the post-chemo blahs. You might feel like you are left behind now, no excuses for not feeling all better when the truth is you are not all better and will not be all better for a while, if ever. Sorry. Sorry for the way that makes people treat you now, "Okay, we supported her through chemo, when is she going to start acting normal again?" Keep coming here for what you need. We love you.
Cat-glad you're home and your SNB was negative. That is great news. I have chemobrain and I forget--do you know if you're having chemo?Debbie--Can we call you snap, crackle Debbie? Sorry for the weirdness...that sucks.
Diane--hope you wake feeling strong and loved this morning. I am always the first one up and it's such a peaceful time that I hold precious--but today I am giving it to you in prayer that your sh*t willl just stop coming long enough for you to adjust, handle and be calm again. Here is my prayer for you: God, please give Diane strength, wisdom, endurance, and sharp powers of observation. Walk beside her in a way that is SO powerful that she can FEEL you there, sharing her burdens. And thank you, because I know you are answering this prayer even as I compose it. Amen.
Cristine--no shovel talk today? Are you okay?
Rock, Loved the poem. Hope you are feeling good today.
I really don't have a bitch today--I am grateful for something. I am putting it here on this thread because this is where it belongs, even though it's not a bitch. I am grateful to and for each and every one of you for holding me up, and listening to my crap and empathizing, and being there for me, every day, where I can bring any awful or wonderful feeling. Really, so grateful that it brings me to tears.
I Love you guys, all of you.
Love,
Sue
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Hello to everyone - and a big that sucks to all. Will check in later, but wanted to send prayers and leave a special message for you all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=favgoOn-U1I
Nicki
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