Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Joining the fray. I'ts only 3:15 here and the re-runs of 20/20 are only 10 years old
so they hold my attention for a few nano seconds. The infomercials are a little
dangerous. Never knew there were so many gadgets out there that I can't live without.
Jerry the UPS driver asked me yesterday if it was insomnia again. Jerry is psychic.
Jerry........ KNOWS THINGS. He asked me 2 weeks before bc dx if everything was OK.
because I "looked different" and not in a good way. Gonna hook Jerry up with my onc and see
if between the two they can tell me how long this port pain will last. A week for it to "settle in" should be long enough, no?
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Im chanting one more day. When I get home tonight I will be officially on vacation.
My whine today is serious! I woke up to the news that our sweet Karilynn from the mets forum is not doing well. She was one of the first persons who reached out to me, and she just recently went on Hospice, but she posted she wasnt feeling bad - only a couple of days ago - and was planning on going on vacation with her family this week. Now they are saying its a matter of hours before we will lose her. I hate this disease with a passion.
The tornados never came thank goodness. Just severe thunderstorms with quarer inch hail and winds. Before I went into the closet I had to move what seemed like a hundred shoes! That I dont even wear anymore. Anyone else love shoes? Used to wear colored shoes to match my outfits. Now it gyms shoes everyday.
Hanna: We cultured nurses are very stubborn. I keep thinking since I have been walking on it for 3 weeks now, what will another week change? I still keep feeling and hearing this clicking sound - just like if you were snapping your knuckles. But then I think, if it were a broken ankle, wouldnt it hurt more than it does - or have I developed and strong pain tolerance from all the bc treatment. Anyways, thanks for the advice, have to worry about blood clots and fat embolisms also which are common with a broken bone. Guess I will humbly go see my physician on Monday!
Felicia: Im sitting here wondering where are the good old fashioned days when everyone helped with dinner and the dishes? Even when I was young, I always had my assignment. Peel the potatoes, mash the potatoes, make the salad, set the table - stuff like that. No dish washers then so one would wash and the rest of us would dry. Im the main moneymaker in this household - so my husband does the cooking and cleaning. His cooking is great, his cleaning is not so great!
Linda: Of course we remember you and its good to see a post from you. Having a bladder infection after surgery sucks. I too am positive for BRCA2. But I look at it this way. We all have inherited genes that will predict our destinies. They just havent figured out how to test for all of them. So at least if we know, we can monitor what is going on with us. Sorry about your 17 y/o, but thats a strange age and hard to be dealing with life and death issues. Hope today is a better day.
Cristine: Sometimes I believe customer service is a forgotten profession. Their job is to help, not make matters worse. At least they gave in and promised to give you a refund. Anyway you can call the credit card company and stop payment? Thats what I would do. Anyways, having to deal with all this crap during chemo sucks.
Diane: I am so shocked and upset and what you have been through the last couple of days. The car accident sounds awful, and that little boys injuries - its scary. I hope they arrest the person that attacked your sons friend! Way too much to absorb in such little times notice. It seems to me that morphine and its derivatives are too helpful when it comes to bone pain and nerve pain. I wish I knew the name of a magic pill that would give you some relief without upsetting your stomach. A big that sucks with a hug is coming your way from me to you.
Traci: Good to see you back. I must admit, sometimes I come here and cant help but laugh and other time I cant help but cry.
DebC: Waving hello to you and hoping you dont have a sucky dayl
Harley: July is the same for me. Too many doctor appointments scheduled. Im wishing back for a time when I only had to see my PCP for things. Everytime I say "my onc" gives me shivers.
Debbie: Good luck with your fills. I remember the summer of my treatment clearly. I used to call myself Buddha belly! Thats how I looked!
Isabella: I like your way of thinking. Eat sandwiches, salads, or go out!
Sue: I do believe cumulative nausea sucks! Im wondering if you need to be hydrated. I recall others here talking about their nausea and getting some fluids IV helped. I would call back the onc and tell him even though its expected, you need something to help you through this. There is a stomach virus going around, but Im guessing its the chemo. If the zofran isnt working, there are other meds out there that can help. Next chemo, dont wait until the nausea comes, take the darn medication to prevent it. I found the last 2 treatments the hardest. In fact I wanted to quit chemo and not do the last 2. Were it not for my husband cheering me on, I wouldnt have finished. So a big IOS for you.
Indi: Always nice to see a post from you.
Rock: Im the baby of 3 girls. My middle sister passed from Ovarian Cancer at the age of 46 over 10 years ago now. They didnt have genetic testing then - and I think my life would be different. I would have been monitored more closely, and maybe wouldnt be where I am today. After my diagnosis, my older sister got breast cancer 3 months after me and she has the same gene. Hers was caught at a very early stage - so I figure as the baby girl I did something right!
The bewitching hour. Waking up at 3:00am. I dont know what it is, or what causes it, but this seems to be a general wake up time for all of us! I used to lay in bed and think about all my friend who were awake right along with me.
Hello to everyone I missed. Shirley where are you? Hope your day is not too sucky.
Nicki
If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future - look into your present actions.
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rock, fyyrzfan,
Hope you're sleeping now. Peacefully. That doesn't suck, if you are. Imagine an old window air-conditioner making its sleep-inducing noise (I am very familiar with this noise as my house does not have central heat/air and we have FIVE window units..I have become addicted to this noise to get to sleep and thus the one in my bedroom runs all year, YES, even in the winter, even though my dh is thrifty he knows not to mess with my sleep...) Imagine an old house with those wide hardwood board floors and an iron double bed with a chenille bedspread or a quilt..imagine you're lying on this bed and hearing people talk in the kitchen which gives you that feeling like you had when you were a little kid that because the grownups were up talking you could let go and go to sleep....I hope you both sleep well. You deserve it.
Probably doesn't belong on the suck thread, but sometimes I don't follow the rules.
Love,
Sue
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Good morning ladies,
Christine...kudos to you for playing the cancer card and getting your money back. We will get to our hotel tomorrow at 10. Checkin is not until 3 but I plan on playing my cancer card and see if we can get in the room around 12pm so I can change for the pool! (or possibly lay down)
I woke up this AM and really felt the expanders. The liquid in the right one sloshes from side to side and it feels wierd. Took a lortab and am now trying not to throw up. I want to go for a walk but will probably go back to bed. I am a big reader but have read more books these past 11 months. About 2 books a week.
Sue, I have a fan I run all year round for the noise. I also have a noise machine I use as well. I cannot sleep with quiet.
Well so much to do and so little motivation.
Debbie
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Ladies, ladies - Middle of the night TV sucks! Big time!
And these internet "services" that are supposed to save us money suck too. Remind me sometime to tell you about the long weekend we booked in San Francisco, and when we got to the airport the Orbitz representative in India had booked us to come home the next MONTH.. Fortunately, Frontier had a last-minute cancellation on the red eye. We never did get a refund, but we got home. Moral: Always read every detail on every piece of paper they send you.
Yesterday evening I hit some new suckiness highs: I was scheduled to go out to dinner with girlfriends from work, so I left a little early to go to chiropractor (I'm still paying for that hard rads table). Talked to chiropractor about the possibility that just-out-of-high-schooler could do an internship there, help with filing, answering the phone, etc. For free. Talked to office manager. She was in favor. Talked to doc-No. Both office manager and I are bummed. Got to restaurant - waited 45 mins. No one showed up - found out later that friends couldn't find me at work, and so they decided we would reschedule. Everybody is so sorry, and now we all have each other's up-to-date cell phone numbers, which we never had before, because, hey, we see each other every day. Went to the gym, because I was not hungry, just upset. Air conditioning wasn't working - I was hot and sticky in 5 minutes. Got home, daughter says that there was a message from the Gastroenterologist's office on the machine. WTF? I asked which message - she said, oh, I erased it, but here's the name and number. Okay, cancergirl's first thought - the pathology from colonoscipy is BAD, even though we got the all clear letter. Second thought - insurance problems [Note from this AM - old message]. Then the bad stuff:
Friend who was recently diagnosed with DCIS called about 10:30. Hysterical. She had surgery last week, checkup with her surgeon went well - she's scheduled for her mammosite insertion and simulation today. Well, it seems that her older sister, who was having a backache, and who has no health insurance, is now in the hospital with pneumonia, caused by her metastasized stage 4 breast cancer. Undiagnosed, untreated breast cancer with lung and bone mets. She can't be with her family because she can't drive 6 hours so soon after surgery, and her treatment is scheduled anyway. And, oh yeah, her mother, who is sitting at the bedside of her oldest child, just found out that her best friend is one floor up because of complications from her chemo.
I'd be hysterical too. We talked about yelling at God for a while. Decided He could take it.
I hate this disease.
Hope you all have a good day and holiday weekend, if I don't stop by to post.
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Here's what sucks for me, my friends.
After all the trouble I've had healing on my right side, the new expander popped through a weakend area of my skin on Monday night. The first one was replaced after it became exposed following a staph infection, then I had the emergency surgery to repair a ginormous hematoma, now I am having the expander removed - in about one hour -to allow that side to heal. Now, once again, I am uneven. Lefty is fine and fully expanded while righty goes on living in it's own little universe doing whatever the f@c# it wants. I was half, okay maybe one quarter, hoping to have a matched set for my 30 year high school reunion later this summer.
Meanwhile, my insurance company decided last week to inform me that they do not cover prophylactic mastectomy. period. You know, the mastectomy that took place in FEBRUARY!! I have reached out to the director of the plan and he is interceding on my behalf because of the genetic/family history link they have decided to overlook. I want to get crazy about this, but I do not want to waste the energy during my ongoing reconstruction crises. I do know that when this is resolved, I would like to be the plaintiff in a class action suit against them. If anyone our there is, or is married to, a Letter Carrier with the U.S. Postal Service and has the N.A.L.C Health Benefit Plan, please let me know. I'm fighting mad for me and any other women they have done this to.
Okay, I'm off to change my bandage and go to the PS office.
Happy 4th of July all. Rest and Be Well.
Maria
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How awful Maria, for both your breast problem and your insurance problem. Insurance companies just basicially suck. Every last one of them. It is bad enough that you are going through all this trouble with the expanders and to have your insurance company FU*K you over as well. Did you get an authorization letter saying they approved the surgery? Check your benefits book and see if you can find it in writing anywhere. If you can't find it in writing and you have an auth letter, you have a 90% chance of getting it paid. I say 90% because insurance companies always have some excuse or another.
22 years ago I worked for New York Life. When I got cancer they fired me in August when I told them but the notice from the Home office did not come until November. September, COBRA went into effect. They tried to deny me COBRA coverage and I had to threaten them with an attorney and send them a copy of my termination notice dated November. I got the nastiest letter stating they would allow COBRA but they would not send out any payment notices and if I was one day late, they would terminate it. After that I went to work for hospitals and made sure insurance companies paid every dime. My biggest coup was getting a $1 million dollar claim paid that had been refused for 3 years!
If you need any help, let me know by PM. I will be happy to talk you and find out about your case history and write some letters myself on your behalf to NALC. I can possibly help you do the research if they have benefits info on-line and can access the site. I have been able to get a few cases overturned in my career but it kept getting harder and harder and then with Medicare, I just quit work all together.
BC wanted to deny my prophylatic mast and I told them I had fibrocystic breast disease in both breasts and the cancer grew in one of the cysts. They could pay for that and recon or they could pay every 6 months to have each and every cyst removed when a new one popped up along with MRI's, u/s and mammos. They relented.
I sure hope you can get your expander issue resolved. Probably best to wait a let that breast heal and go lopsided than rushing into it with more problems. That really sucks.
Debbie
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This pales in comparison to Debbie and Maria's experiences but in the interest of insurance suckiness I offer:
My little sister's insurance doesn't want to pay for her gene testing (I have BRCA2, my mom prob has it, and prob my deceased aunt did as well) because they say it isn't medically necessary until she actually presents symptoms of bc.
The good news is that I had her call my gene counselor who is going to write a letter for her doctor to sign, and walked my sister through the paperwork and also put her in touch with an Anchorage hospital that is experienced with gene counseling. Also, since we know the 2 mutations I have, it should be an affordable $350 for the test vs a few thousand. So if the insurance doesn't come through, it's still doable. But STILL. We're not done with the insurance company yet. You wanna mess with my sister, you're going to have to mess with me.
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Hey everyone. This will be short...I have not had time to catch up on all the posts that I missed in the past few days. My IOS are few, but they have kept me quite distracted! On Monday I had an big blow out with my son while talking on the phone. I ended up hanging up on him...which I have never done. We were talking about the final path results on my SNB, which I had been waiting for. He said "Mom can I ask you something ...hypothetically speaking? How may NEGATIVE results on tests would it take before you would be able to relax and get back to NORMAL??" This is from my normally sensitive, caring, intelligent offspring... who just happens to be in a medical profession. As soon as he said the words, I could sense he wished he had engaged his brain first, but it was too late. I didn't know what to say...I think I squeaked out "I don't know, 500, maybe 5 million...maybe no amount of negative results! Life will never be normal again!" Then I just hung up. Not my most mature reflex response, but I didn't feel too mature at that moment. On Tuesday my dd was involved in a serious car crash. Thankfully only her new car is totaled and her body is just bumped, bruised and lacerated... she will be OK. She is apologizing to me because she says "Mom this is all you need right now and that SUCKS" That same day I got the final path on my "negative" sentinel node and they tell me they found some small clusters of cancer cells in it. So, keep me on your "THAT SUCKS" shouts...because I need them.
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Debbie,
Thank you so much for your generous offer to help. Poeple like you make the world go 'round, and I hope to be able to offer the same help to someone else someday.
I do have a letter that precertifies my procedure as medically necessary, but an insurance co rep said that it only pre-certs the hospital stay. So I ask, "don't the doctor's have to tell you what they are going to do in the hospital?" and she tells me "no, they only make a general inquiry as to whether you have surgical coverage." - which is untrue, according to my contract and my surgeons. Then I say, "so doctor's are going into the OR and removing body parts without prior authorization?" and she gives me the "I understand you are upset, but you can appeal, blah blah blah" line. (I WANTED to say, "you must be smoking f-ing crack!", but I know how to speak on the phone and would not want to be recorded saying something stupid.) Instead I said, "I will not only appeal, but I will contact the local union, the national union, my congressman, and an attorney."
I have already sent the plan director the pre-cert letter, correspondence from the genetic counselor and physician who ordered the genetic test, which was used to authorize the test and establishes my genetic risk factors, and my breast surgeon is writing a letter on my behalf.
Interestingly, my plan uses the CIGNA network, and CIGNA has a Position on Prophylactic Mastectomy statement online, as do many other insurers, but the NALC does not. Not one that I can find, anyway. For that I was told "CIGNA only prices our claims, we decide what is and is not covered." I say, "so why send me a card that says CIGNA on it and tell me to show that to my doctors?", and on and on.
So much unnecessary bullshit that I hope is resolved soon. I don't like to feel angry - it's too exhausting and negative.
Anyway, I am home from the expander removal and so far I feel good as the local anesthetic has not worn off yet. I hope to have a good night sleep and a relaxing weekend. I hope the same for you. You rock!
Be well,
Maria
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rockthebald,
I hear you about the sister thing. I am one of five sisters. Second to have BC. Most issues pale in comparison to messing with a sister.
Be well,
Maria
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Yeah, the sister thing. One of my two is ready to hear results of genetic testing, the other is like, "if I ignore it it won't be true".....I guess it's her choice. All I can do is pass on the information. It's a pattern with my sister. The world as she imagines it.
I think I need a brownie.
Love,
Sue
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See, EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!
Kari died. That SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have three sisters. My 'lil sis Debbi got BC first, 10 years ago. She just had a tram-flap with proph mast of her "good" boob cuz...I got BC and she tested positive for BRCA 1.
My other sister had cervical and uterin cancer 3 years ago, she's BRCA -. The last sister has yet to be tested for BRCA (F*ing insurance co's!) My dad died of kidney cancer that spread to his lungs a year ago 7/27 while I was in the throws of my chemo and, my brother just got skin cancer. I also have another brother with Hepitis C. My mom has smoked like a sailor for a thousand years and coughs for 5 minutes at a time, every 30 minutes, (refuses to go to the doctor.....I wonder why????) I think we have enough illness in our family for now thank you very much!
CANCER SUCKS AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rest in Peace Kari.
Hugs everybody.
Traci
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Debbie - Yes, I intend to use the "bc card" as often as possible. It usually makes people stop and think and sometimes be a little kinder (except for Rock's asshat man in the elevator!). It sucks that we have to deal with bc and life, and if bringing it up makes dealing with life's s&^t a little easier, then so be it!! Get your hotel room, girl!
Maria - I know it's hard to keep dealing with them, but that's what they want. They want you to be worn out and go away. I know it was that way for the hotel thing for me (small comparison) but I also had an insurance crap a few months ago, and as soon as I appealed, they rolled over.
Sue/ICan - Wow. That was a lot of s*#t that you posted. And it all sucks.
Cat - He'll take his foot out of his mouth and apologize, I imagine. What sucks is that our family members have their own emotional lives about our cancers and often they don't mix well.
Traci and Nicki - I just picked up on the time frame between your two posts and that SUCKS. So sorry.
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What I find amazing is that before breast cancer - I was so into July 4th. Big parties, fireworks, lots of food and spending time with family and friends. Like a child, I would get excited at the beauty of the fireworks. Yesterday and today - just seem like any other ordinary day. The thought of going anywhere is not enticing, and I actually complained to my husband that it was awfully noisy outside last night. Wonder what today will bring?
Traci: I do agree. Losing Karilynn sucks. Breast cancer sucks. Insurance companies suck. Friends and family telling me I come here too much sucks! They all want things to be like they were before, and things will never be like they were before.
Cat: When I saw your post I was holding my breath - hoping the path report came back good. I was told my sentinel node was negative only to find out 8 days later that there was "metastatic cancer." Those words still ring in my mind. My surgeon made me go back and have a lymph dissection which really pissed me off. Its rings clear this time of the year for me. 3 years ago I was watching fireworks from my backyard and it was the grand finale - when my surgeon called with the path results. I was sure all 13 nodes were positive. I was lucky, the report came back that the remaining nodes were negative. So I feel that the sentinel node did its job. Im sorry to read they found clusters of bc. Yep - just another kick you in the pants - that sucks! Sending lots of love and hugs to you. So does this change your treatment plan?
Sue: "sometimes I dont follow the rules" that cracked me up this morning. The way I see it, breast cancer has taught me the rules change by the minute!
Debbie: Getting fills sucks! I always wanted to know why someone didnt tell me it would hurt! And then getting fills while getting chemo! I was not a very good patient. I went to my PS about every 2-3 weeks and got my fills very slowly. Just couldnt handle both. One thing I found that helped me was doing stretching exercises every moring. My arms over my head kind of stretching. The only pain pill I can take that I dont throw up is Darvocet.
SueIcando: Well that was one sucky day for you. I think once I figured out no one was coming I would have gotten a glass of wine so I could whine a little.
Maria: Insurance companies are in the mode of deny and delay! I cant believe they would deny your proph mastectomy. Its not like we choose this just because! Hoping your surgeon will be able to write a letter and straighten this all out for you. Having a staph infection and needing your expander removed sucks big time.
Rock: Boy they changes things from minute to minute. I was always told that if you had 2 blood relatives who had breast cancer, ovarian cancer, prostate cancer, or pancreatic cancer, that insurance was required to do BRCA testing. The whole point is to prevent getting the disease, not verifying why you get the disease. That sucks big time.
Shirley: It just sucks that I havent seen a post from you.
Well today is my first offical day of vacation. Going to putz around the house. Pull some weeds, replant some of my tomatos plants that are too big for their current planters, and maybe get some swimming in - if it gets warm enough. I have given in and will be seeing my PCP next week to find out whats going on with my legs, ankle, and feet. I suppose that will be a whole array of tests again. Bone mets has not escaped my mind - was just hoping I could have a worry free vacation.
Will check back later. Happy July 4th - and a big that sucks to all of you who need it. The world keeps going around and around and around and around. I wonder when it will slow down for us.
Love all of you and this thread.
Nicki
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Traci and Nicki ~ so sorry about your friend...it has been a rough week for this and I'm hating this disease more and more.
Everyone - a hearty that sucks to you all and my apologies for not taking notes. I need to unload a BIG FAT THIS SUCKS so bad that I just can't comprehend it, and yes, you'll have to be an animal lover to understand I think. Yesterday my dear sweet beagle Bailey had to go to the vet for a lump on her paw and as it turns out my girl has cancer too. WTF is up with this? I'm more upset at her diagnosis than my own ~ probably because I'm reading this morning that there isn't a lot than be done about it to cure it. Chemotherapy drugs are inefficient on this cancer and the area where it is, is extremely hard to get clean margins. So, she's scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks to remove the tumors and we'll have to play the waiting game with her path reports now too. I need to borrow a mom...only a mom hug could stop my crying now. Sorry, needed to vent...
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flyrz,
I am so sorry about your dear Bailey. That is indeed hard to take on top of your own dx! I'm a mom, so here is a big mom hug for you!!!
I can't stop thinking about Kari and her poor family who has now had to cancel their vacation plans and replace them with funeral plans. One thing we all need to remember is that Kari was at peace with the situation and ready for the next phase of life. May we take strength from her, even now.
Too much sadness.... can't stop crying.
Miss S
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Sue - hope your brownie was exactly what you needed.
Flyrz- sorry about your puppy. Ours just had her annual checkup, and is fine.
Nicki - glad you are taking care of yourself. It's so hard to go to the dr unless it's the cancer stuff. I need to go and start working on my cholesterol, but I have absolutely no interest in seeing so much as a blood pressure cuff.
Rest in peace, Kari. We share such intimate stuff, we come to care about one another so much. It sucks that she didn't get that final vacation.
Well, today, I have decided that nothing is going to suck. DD [Also known as recent-high-school-grad and validictorian of her class] has had a friend staying with us, so after work, where I actually was quite productive, I went to the rec center and took a water aerobics class, and the girls saw Hancock. Then we all took DH out to California Pizza for dinner. Bought strawberries and Extra Lean Ground Beef for a cookout tonight, will go to rec center for weightlifting and a swim, then come home and garden. So much is bloomng and beautiful today. The weather is perfect. The girls are playing video games.
Hope you all have a suckless 4th.
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What an awful 48 hours we have had. Kari will be so missed, she was one of lifes special people.
Cat, how is your daughter ??
Isabella.
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It truly sucks when a sister dies.
Flyrz-it sucks about Bailey. I am so, so sorry. Our pets give us such love and joy and when the bad stuff happens it is so hard.
No BIG suckiness today. My greyhound, Lois was freaked out by the fireworks last night and we had to give her doggie drugs. She seems to feel great this morning, though!
Hope everyone has a non-sucky weekend!
Love,
Sue
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Well, I'm only on for a minute or two. My family w/grandkids are here. Been quite busy. The "rest" of the family will be here tonight. Other dd (who's bringing two friends) and the other dd and sil with parasites. LOL THE pill didn't make him real sick. We've been quite busy and my BACK HURTS!
We had our own little fireworks show for the kiddies last night. Instead of taking them downtown to the big event, we did it in our front yard. Howsever, we could here the "works" downtown...sounded marvelous. They do it on the N. C. Battleship.
Oh, so wish I could get caught up on the "suckiness," OR MAYBE, "no suckiness." LOL I'll try tomorrow since they're leaving. I could write a whole page about moans and groans, but don't have the time. That's ONE moan!
Hope everyone had a WONDERFUL forth and didn't eat too much. Sil smolked is a picnic. Turned out great. And grandkiddies. had there first rootbeer ice cream float!
Later!
Shirley
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A big hello to everyone. I really dont have much suckiness today. Its 80 degrees and feels hotter in the sun. I repotted my tomato plants and got so hot I jumped in the pool. It was only 68 degrees but I didnt care.
Im still thinking about Kari and her family. I saw how young she was, only 39 - that just breaks my heart. Its always hard when we lose someone. Seems like we get to know each other so well, and we become friends. I know we should expect loss as this breast cancer is such a crap shoot, but with Kari we hardly had time to say good-bye. It all seemed to happen so fast.
Im so glad we have each other, cause its sure hard to talk to others about all this stuff.
Fly: Im so sorry to hear about Bailey. That deserves a big that sucks. Animals are so helpless and they are our family. Who would have thought a lump on your dogs paw would end up being cancerous? Makes me want to kick something really hard. Im sure Im old enough to be your mom and sending big hugs to you.
Miss S: I know what you mean. My heart is aching for Kari's family right now and her young children. Seems so unfair. I cant stop thinking about it either.
SueIcando: Sounds like you had a perfect day. I am determined to have a great day here also. Just enjoying life for what it is. Thankful to have so many friends here that I can talk to. I still havent absorbed the fact that Im on vacation yet. Feels like Sunday instead of Saturday. Anyways the water aerobics sounds great. Hoping your day continues to be a good one.
Sue: Good to hear from you and I just love your avatar. My poor dog and cats were pretty freaked out about the fireworks also. Boths cats were under the bed and Mister tried to get under the bed but he couldnt fit. So he layed there with his head under the bed. I told ya he is one goofy dog.
Shirley: Well it sounds like your having a good 4th spending time with your family. Moan and groan - aches and pains, has become my normal. But I am enjoying today. Thats what I try to do now, enjoy each day for what it is.
Well, Im thinking I should go pull some weeds and take another swim. Hope you all have an unsucky day. This is a picture of my tomato plant. I just repotted it in the big pot. Poor thing was being crowded in that little pot. Sure hope I get some plum tomatoes from it.
Nicki
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Nicky.
You are just so lucky to have a pool.
I think, even if I had one, I'd only get a handful of days to use it !!! We have had torrential showers and spectacular thunderstorms now since July began, oh, and for most of June we had rain too. My tomato plants are safely tucked up inside my conservatory (also stops the cats peeing on them !!)
Isabella.
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Just sick of this stupid disease. So many wonderful folks lost this year and still so many fighting hard. Sooooo draining.
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Flyrzfan, I haven't gotten caught up with all the suckiness yet, but I read yours. And, that you needed to talk to a mom. Well, one of my dds called me Thursday to tell me her cat, \Cinnamon most likely has liver cancer. She's about 17 years old, but that doesn't make it any easier hearing that kind of news. They have been doing blood work because of Thyroid issues and her liver count had dramatically increased, thus an ultrasound was done. They saw the mass, but decided instead of doing a biopsy at her age to do an aspiration. My dd wanted to make sure it was cancer. Of course, nothing can be done except giving her steroids. At this point she doesn't "know" she's sick. They said she had enough of her liver "left."
My dd was devastated as was I and the rest of our animal loving family. She lives in Charlotte where one of my other dds lives, and said either her sister and her brother-in-law would have to go with her at "that" time because she couldn't do it by herself.
So, Flyrzfan, as a Mom I'm hugging you and crying with you. My family and I know too much about our babies and these illnesses. My dd and I were having a conversation, and I said I don't know why I continute to own pets just to be hurt again. But, we both agreed the the pain was worth it because they bring to us so much joy. And, we give them a very good home. Her kitty came to us from no where. LOL Was just following my dh around when she was just a kitty.
Sweetie, this will be hard to get through. It always is. But we can hope just a little that something can be done to expand you're Bailey's life. Just love her and baby her as long as you have her. I'm sure you already do that.
Now I need to catch up on the suckiest subject...losing a sister.
Shirley
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A big THAT SUCKS too all...sick pets, fricking cancer of all forms, port pain, bad weather, wildfires,car accidents, insurance trouble, nasty customer service folks (oxymoron), dr. appointments, cooking for unappreciative family members....I can't even begin to express how much losing more sisters SUCKS!!!!
The last few days I have actually been dreading coming on the boards. I am so sad and angry at cancer is makes me nuts.....Anyway....On to my Bitch.
Actually you could probably just rewind exactly one month and I bet I was bitching about the same thing: Chemo tomorrow! I do three weeks of chemo and then one week off. After my off week it is SO hard to make myself go start all over. I am feeling half-way human the past 2 or 3 days, and I know I will feel like shit next week. I sometimes wonder if it is all worth it. I know I can't consider stopping treatment, but I fantasize about it, really, I do. I think about how good i would feel off chemo and wonder how long I would have....
Sorry girls, I know it is morbid, but it's how I feel today. Anyway....that's my bitch-of-the-day....
Deb C
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Hi All,
Flyrzfan, I am so sorry about Baily. I have 3 elderly cats (Eb-17 severe arthritis and tumor on neck, Snickers 16 and blind, and Millie, 15 and Thryroid problems). They are getting along well with all their troubles but I know the time is coming. They have had great cat lives and have been spoiled rotten.
AlaskaDeb, I hate that you are still going through chemo. That just plain sucks big time. There are some days that all you can do is just hang on. If you get tired, we'll hold you up. Love ya, gal.
Kari's death was just to quick. No words to express the sadness.
Auuuughhh Traci, what a family history! Sorry for all of your many losses and grief. I am the one with all the cancer in my family. Bone and breast. Just getting my body parts whacked off. But I keep on ticking.
We went to the convention. I found myself still having to take naps and missing out on some of the activities and I did not have the enthusiasm I usually have. I got to swim and get in a bathingsuit without my prostheses. I stayed in the water and swam the breast stroke. Felt so good. The water was cool. I love cold water so 68 degrees sounds wonderful. I want to have a pool but my husband keeps reminding me of the river across the street. The kids are packed over there now so I don't like going. Don't want to deal with smart ass teens with my barely hair and flat chest.
Onc visit on Tuesday and PS fill on Friday. Gotta find some time to get the overdue books back to the Library. Have a great evening ladies.
Debbie
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Well for some odd reason, life is treating me good the last couple of days. Dont really have any bitching to do. Its cloudy and raining, but for the first time I must say Im glad. My flowers and vegetables need the water. How it got so dry after such a stormy winter and rainy Spring?
When I woke up this morning I had this overwhelming feeling about getting up and going to work. Got out of bed and realized Im off the whole week. Sure love that feeling!
I think we have had a hard time on these boards this week-end. So much sadness. We lost two sisters and our animals are getting old and sick. It reminds me not to take things for granted. I need to appreciate my husband, family, and friends more.
Isabella: Yes I am lucky to have this above ground pool. Its small but who needs big? I was thinking about it the other day when I was swimming, how some people dont even have A/C. When it storms I tuck my tomato plants in a safe place cause I have never grown tomatoes before and I can wait to reap the fruits. Cat pea? Oh goodness. Glad you plants are safe. We have a fenced in yard so the cats dont see to come around, but the squirrels do. I have a beautiful Pear tree and have yet to be able to eat one. The squirrels steal them all.
Felicia: It is draining. My husband wants to know why I keep coming here if it only makes me sad. He doesnt really understand the true support I get and the chance that I am given to give support to others. We have had hards times and good times. The friendships I have made here are awesome and I could never stay away.
Shirley: Yep, Im crying right along with you when I read about Cinnamon. Our animals are our family. Wishing we could find some cure for cancer. All cancer!
DebC: I have been thinking about you alot this past week-end. I know it must have been very hard for you to even come here. Sometimes I feel that way. And now having to face yet another round of chemo. Im sending big hugs to you today - and also telling you "it all sucks."
Debbie: Sounds like you had a grand time at the convention. I too love to swim and the breast stroke is my favorite. Feel like its making me use most of my muscles! It sort of weird for me today. I got dressed and put a nice white summer blouse on. No bra. Reminded me when I was younger and my mom would yell at me because my nipples would be showing through the blouse. Dont have any now - and it hit home for a moment what all of us have been through.
Hoping you all have an unsucky day. Will BBL to check in. Love ya all.
Nicki
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Flyrxfan
Traci
Lisa
Diane
Oh my all you girls! I have missed being on! Life taking me away from the computer and the fact that there is always a teenage body on my computer! sometimes my kids most of the time other teens visiting!!
I am soo sorry to hear of the loss of another BC sister! Damn this disease!
It evens messes with our animals that we need so bad when we feel blue...so sorry fryrzfan!!!
I hope to catch up on all the suckiness! But will probably not be able to just know you are all in my thoughts and hoping everyone has something positive to be happy about today!
We can only take just so much suckiness!!!!
Bye -thinking of all of you!!
Dani
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thanks guys...Shirley, you're the best...you made me cry all over again. Fortunately, I have a cold and stayed home from work today so I'm getting an extra day to the weekend to spoil my girl. Fortunately, she doesn't know shes sick yet either so she just thinks she's "it" getting all the attention.
Deb...so sorry you're having a crappy time of it...I can't imagine being in your shoes so I'll just send you a big fat (((hug))) and a THAT SUCKS!!!
Keep the IOS to a minimum ...
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