Hair Hair Hair - Another question
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Dominka: I absolutely think you are gorgeous with short hair and yes, I like it better than the long hair too. I actually like the color of your hair now... it looks more brown. You have beautiful features.. very pretty!0
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I had forgotten about the stares, the looks of pity. Children used to be afraid of me with the little hats and scarves..It is amazing what your mind does..Reading your posts brought it all back. When this happens I feel a little overwhelmed, How could I forget this?
One day I was with my sister in Trader Joe's, It was right after I had the bileoma and I was really weak. A woman came up to me and said,"Don't worry, it grows back". She gave me a big hug. Tears rolled down my cheeks..I asked her how long it had been for her. It was five years..her hair was so long and beautiful. Her Kindness meant so much to me that day. Our hair is associated with our femminity. When I wore my scarves and hats I tried to wear big earrings.
I am struggling now with feeling whole, finding that new sense of normal..As I wrote in another thread, Cancer has touched all aspects of my life. Hair loss, removal of my breast..trying to accept the limitations of the implants...then not to mention My husband inability to cope, his excessive drinking, abusive emotional vacancy and his affair...I am not feeling sorry for myself. My self seteem admttedly has taken a blow. I'm hopeful, I'm just not sure about this body...sooo much change. It is like I have been a shut in for a year..and I can go out now into the world...what should I do first? When will i feel more like me? Im afraid I never will...what then?
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Dominika u good with short hair and look so young...sorry u have to go through this, I'm 31. I didn't think I could get breast cancer at my age first of all cause my family doctor and surgeon had always told me you are too young for this to be cancer, it's so rare, but I have learned is not..ll try to put my pic later..
Basia I know what you mean I send my husband with a list of things I need, I try to go where I know I won't run into anyone I know...I Want to go back to work once I have my hair but I don't know if I can afford to stay home for that long. I just don't ppl noticing or asking questions. That's if I can go back to my old job lol
Emme sorry u had to go through so much, bad enough to go through cancer.0 -
thanks for all nice comments Ladies:) you r the stars!!
Toni30: I'm sure Your hair will grow in no time! just this waiting is sooo annoying
coni: I was diagnosed 3 days before my 26 birthday and 3 months before my sons 2nd birthday and was absolutely devastated.....for about 15 minutes, after which I was thinking: ok, bring it on cancer i'm going to kick your ass ! (I only look so innocent lol
)I didn't quit my job and it helps me a lot with keeping my mind away from bad thougths. I always had my Chemo on Fridays and on Mondays i was back at work .
None of my friends or family knows about me being sick. Somehow my wig looks almost like the hair i used to have so never anyone aksed me about this and it's been 6 months!
i just left work one Friday with my own hair and returned on Monday with wig lol haha the only comment i heard was: o, u got haircut, it looks nice' i'm pretty sure my co workers suspect something but I'm acting like nothing happened so i'm not getting any special treatmentcc4npg: I always had light blonde hair but few years ago i dyed it very dark and couldnt goes back to blonde....so there you go, i can do it now as they are dark blonde, just like my sons hair
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Dominika... I agree with the others... you are adorable... and the lighter brown color is great on you... and show s your eyes well...
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Emme - you will find a new normal, it just takes time. I got diagnosed in October 08, the day before I went to court to finalize my divorce. It's difficult, but you will adjust. I had both breasts removed, and implants put in. Implants failed, and on Christmas Eve, they were removed (emergency surgery). My point is that I felt cosmically shit on from all sides. Fast forward two years (I know its a long time) and I am enjoying my new self. Reconstruction is complete, my hair is OK, and I feel good. Every once in a while, I will do something simple (like get something off the top shelf, or lift something) and think, wow, two years ago at this time, I couldn't even do that. Now it's easy. You will get there too.
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nutiva extra virgin organic coconut oil
this is what i found on amazon
it says use for cooking
you can use on your hair and skin also?
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Claire I take three spoons with flaxseed oil in a small cup of noni juice, and also put the oil all over my body and scalp.... My skin is very soft and not dry but I do it everyday before bed time just because is oily...on my scalp I also add olive oil to it...I think my hair is growing slowly but growing yay!! I get my at a natural store extra virgin oil 454 g for $16 cad
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Oh wow! So much to catch up on. I made a quick trip to Ohio to surprise my son for his 18th birthday and it looks like I missed so much! First off, nikola, mbj, dominicka, and day you all look FABULOUS! Women pay LOTS of money for those chi-chi hairdo's. I think sometimes we get so selfconscious that we forget that those short short haircuts can be very expensive! LOL Also, didel, I SO appreciate your comments on the color of my hair (no, I have NOT colored it) but my hair before was very natural blonde (in my avatar I didn't color my hair either, never have) and it is SO much darker than it was I am frustrated with it... to hear you make those kind comments made my day. I think that everyone who knows me well, knew my very blonde hair and is kind of mourning for me; but I think now I need a new attitude. I am going to EMBRACE these dark blonde locks!
Also, emme, I have just been catching up on your posts. Keep your chin up. My first husband and father of my children had an affair (actual a couple of them) on me and I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
Know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you. The timing sucks for you (but I guess when is it ever a good time to find out your husband has cheated, right?) but I can only say that this too will pass and you WILL find happiness again. On another hair note, while in Ohio I had dinner with a dear friend and Breast cancer sister, a 7 year survivor, and she was such a boon for my outlook. She looked so great and is living life and is an inspiration. Oh the hair part... she said her hair came in jet black after chemo and after 7 years it is back to exactly the way it used to be before cancer! (maybe there is some hope for that?) but the funny thing as we parted ways she said, "You know there has even been a couple times now when I was running late that I have wished for no hair so that I didn't have to take the time to style it!" But then she said, "But I immediately told God I was JUST KIDDING! "
BIG ((HUGS)) to all!!!
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Here in Houston we have a women's health boutique and they have everything under the sun for breast cancer .... they take used wigs and if a woman comes in and doesn't have the cash for the new or the Ins. doesn't cover they have a load of them and prosthetics that they will donate to help out. You should see if there is something like that in your area or even your local ministries may know of some women in need.
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Wow! So many bc survivors that are so young!!! Dominika - I agree with the other gals, you are really beautiful, esp with short hair.
I was going to go wigless today, when we went riding on our ATV's. Then, I caved because I got up late and didn't have time to mess with my real hair. And I had to wash my wig because it got sooo dirty riding around today. I should have gone wigless!
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I feel great you guys just ready for some hair and normalcy...
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Dominika: I was 34 when first dx. Trust me their are women out there younger than us battling this beast. However, we will get through this. By the way your wig looks GREAT! I really like it.
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Dominika - I love your short hair too. I know it took me a long time to go without my wig but everyone I see since I went wiggless, loves the new me.
emme - hang in there too.
nodapearl - how long did you wait until after your EM surgery did you finish reconstruction? You can PM me with your reply.
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Dominika, your hair is great if I had that much, I would go wigless. I went to the beauty salon on Friday and got my hair shaped up a little and while I was there I went ahead and had her dye it. It is ok, but a lot lighter than my old normal so next time she will go a little bit darker. In the meantime I am still wearing the wig because it is so cold. My last Chemo was Nov 8, I am aiming for going topless the first of March. Hopefully it will warm up enough by then I won't freeze to death. It was 10 this mornin here in Southern Maryland. On another note I finished radiation last Tuesday and was able to put a real bra on and wear it all day over the weekend. So baby steps at a time, but slowly things returning to normal.
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Dominika-you have the perfect face for a pixie cut! You look great!
I think my hair is starting to grow really fast now. It feels longer too...I can't stop touching it...lol! My head tingles in different spots...and then I seem to have the hair there grow. Does anyone else "feel" their hair growing? My family thinks I'm crazy.0 -
Dominika - I agree with the other ladies - you look amazing with short hair, it really suits you and brings out your features!
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I had a checkup today. My onc is bald, typical male pattern baldness, a little on the sides and nothing on top. I pulled off my hat and asked my onc "is my hair normal for being 7 weeks PFC? It looks like yours!" He assured me it's normal. But I'm soooo jealous of you ladies who have coverage all over, even if it is short. I'm getting disheartened!
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poodleluvbug- no, it's not just you, I can feel the "tingling" all the time!!!
Jennifer
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LadyinBama-My hair didn't start growing until I was at least 8 weeks past...and then just fuzz. It really started to take off about 10 weeks past. Don't be discouraged! My bang area took the longest to come in. Hang in there LadyinBama!
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My bangs seem to be taking the longest also. I found a ruler and measured them yesterday, just under 3 inches. They have some wave to them so my forehead still isn't covered the way I would like it to be. Or, maybe I have a big forehead? 0
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Dominka I you look amazing with short hair. I can't wait for my head to be cored up with hair. last chemo was Dec 7th so far i just have sprouts. But I am glad to see them.0
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I think I am the only one here who wants to go back to my wig.
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Fearless one, what type of wig did you have, can you post a picture? My wig seems to have too much hair on top making me look funny. Laura suggested wearing a head band with the wig and that seems to make it look more real. My wig is getting to be over 3 months and someone said I need to replace the wig so I'm shopping around for the realistic choice.
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Fighter: I went back and forth with my wig until I had about 4" of hair. I just felt more like me with hair then without, though when summer hit I couldn't stand the warmth of the wig.
I had all of my wigs cut because they looked to big and phony--no one has that much hair, lol! If you have a synthetic wig, try using something like a bit of oil or conditioner on it to get rid of the fake shine and make it look more real. I put little braids in mine and pieced it out with conditioner and everyone complemented me on the good dye job!
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Good idea MBJ, I'll try that. Where did you get your wigs cut?
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MBJ ~ funny you say that you felt more like you with the wig....I look more like myself with the wig, but I feel more like myself going topless! I too, am going back and forth wearing mine. I know I look better with 'hair', but I am so much more comfortable without my wig, although I always felt pretty comfortable with my scarves, somehow the wig feels different. I finished chemo Sept 28th, and I have just about 1/2 inch of very dark (I thought I was blond!) curly hair. I sometimes forget how different I look until I catch a glimpse of myself in a window or a mirror....
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Maureen: I had the same person who cuts my hair cut my wigs while wearing them!
Janny: I know what you mean about feeling more like yourself without the wigs, but I was so cold during chemo and my head is too small for hats (I disappeared under them) and scarves just fell off so the wigs felt the most "natural".
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Maureen, I had a few wigs. They are hot and scratchy, but I looked prettier with the wigs than my new hair.
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I will be sporting my wig for the first time next week sometime... and having some anxiety over the whole thing. I have yet to cut my hair... feel like I need to take baby steps... when my hair starts to come out, I plan to cut it ear-length, then boy-style, and then shave... Just what I need to do for me.
And when the wig will fit more properly, I plan to go back to my wig boutique and have them trim it up.. I bought a lace front, but plan on having bangs cut into it... only got the lace front so the bangs would hang right... The first wig they got for me was the perfect color, texture and style, but when she cut the bangs, they were like fly-aways... My wig boutique has worked hard for the best match possible... with color and style... and luckily no one will have my real hair there to compare it to.
I also bought a cheaper shorter wig for "active" days, like golfing... but who knows, I may decide that by then I am comfortable with scarves etc that would be cooler in the summer heat.
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