Hair Hair Hair - Another question
Comments
-
Beautiful Shopgal!
0 -
As always, the hair is lovely, and the smile makes it more so!
0 -
I thought about posting a pic last night to show my progress, but decided not to because I had a moment of feeling vain (Hah!) when I realized that while the hair is getting thicker and longer, the ends are starting to look a bit scraggly...in other words, it is almost time for my first post-chemo cut! (During the whole s(*)(*() storm I never shaved it, never trimmed, never did anything because I couldn't bear to cut even a little bit of what little I had...so a trim will be a big step for me. Woohoo!)
Octogirl
0 -
Update.... tha hair's in tha house
0 -
justmaxi: you have absolutely gorgeous eyes! I would stick with the short cut to emphasize them!
Octogirl
0 -
Shopgal, so nice and thick! You look great!!
Maximom, filling in nicely. So much progress! I agree that you have the most gorgeous eyes.
I've been going to a Moving Forward After Breast Cancer Treatment series of sessions at the hospital. Last night the topic was "Are My Feelings Normal? Ask the Psychiatrist." I sat next to a gal who I knew had chemo because in our introductions last time she said she was diagnosed while pregnant, and her baby daughter is now six months old. Can you imagine? The whole session I ogled her great, full straight hair. At the end she asked "How do you cope when you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself? Your breasts are different, you have soccer mom hair..." Afterward I told her that I thought she had fantastic hair and I'd been admiring it. She is 7 months pfc and you'd never know that her hair is regrowth. I told her that I look like Kramer's sister without my wig right now (LorieKG, I think we are hair twins). She straightens with a flat iron, and swears that hers was curly a couple months ago. So, there is hope!
0 -
Thank you all and octogirl, I do plan on keeping it short!
0 -
thanks ladies for all the cheers. I owe the thickness to heredity and the growth to biotin.
Octo I was scared to post a full pic of myself as I struggle with self image issues post treatment. I have a hard time feeling comfy with the image I see as I look nothing like I did before treatment. I posted in my sept chemo group that I lost 34lbs since Jan and went from a size 16 to a 10. Before cancer I had blonde-brown hi lighted hair that I hid behind and wore black baggy clothes to disguise my bigger figure. The new me is not who I am comfy with yet. But I am working on it. So everyone's kind words mean a lot.
Justmaximom just stunning.beautiful pic.
0 -
ShopGal, you really are beautiful, and your new 'style' (can we call them that?) is very becoming....but I get it. It is hard to get used to the new me, even when others tell me I am looking good.
So, two weird and uncomfortable hair related events for me today, that didn't help:
First one: a woman who works on my floor who I have never met, came to my office today to introduce herself. Ok, at first I thought she was just being friendly, but then she said, "I wanted to introduce myself because I love your hair. It is so cute. I've been following your progress as a cancer survivor, and you seem to be doing so well,". and of course, this was said from the doorway in a loud voice, so anyone in the vicinity could hear her...
First of all, thanks a lot for the suggestion that maybe I still look like 'cancer girl' and not like a woman with a cute pixie cut. Second, I really think it is rude to assume that the hair loss was due to cancer and to state that out loud. None of her business, and she shouldn't make that assumption. Indeed, there is another woman on my floor who had to shave all of her hair last year before brain surgery for a neurological disorder that had NOTHING to do with cancer (I only know this because that woman is a friend of mine...I certainly heard no gossip about it around the office, even though she wore a hat for several months while it was growing back)....And then there was the saying it so loudly. Like I wanted to discuss my health with this total stranger and everyone in a cube near me. GRRR...I thought it was very rude and it made me feel self conscious.
Second, the wife of a co-worker stopped by the office and said, "Oh your hair is so short...are you going to keep it that way or grow it back again?' This woman is a sensible person and I even wondered if she had no clue as to why my hair was so short....which would be a little weird since her husband knows what is going on...I just shrugged and said I hadn't decided what length I wanted it and then changed the subject...but it was very uncomfortable. What makes people think that commenting in this way is ok? (In this instance, I suspect her husband, who was present at the time, may have had a conversation with her later: I know him much better than I know her but she and I do sometimes socialize together....so I'd hate to think he didn't clue her in. But who knows...)
It all sort of reminds me a bit of being pregnant: that time when people think you are public property of some type and it is ok to touch your belly and ask you personal questions. Only worse. People really are rude and a bit strange.
I am glad to have this forum to vent.
Hugs,
Octogirl
0 -
Justmaximom, the hair's indeed in the house! Keep it going!
Octo, I have thought many times since this whole adventure began about the similarities between BC and pregnancy: Total strangers get to remark on your appearance. They get to tell you unsolicited stories about bad things that happened to people they knew who were in your position. They get to ask you intimate questions about topics you would normally only discuss with your spouse and your physician.
And if you call them on it, people look at you as if you've done something gauche!
Even if your manners are impeccable in the face of such adversity, it does leave you feeling somehow hollowed out. But WE know you have done well today under fire from clueless strangers. Good job!
0 -
Octogirl and rainnyc,
SO true about parallels between pregnancy and cancer in terms of how entitled people feel to comment on your appearance or ask overly personal questions. I think in general, comments on one's appearance--unless they're directly asked for, or are a straight compliment--should be a great big no-no.
This made me think of this weird thing that happened to me. A few weeks ago, I was at an event for my son's baseball team where basically the whole league was there. I was wearing a little beanie cap and a woman who was a complete stranger walked up, put her hand on my arm, and said, "I just want you to know how brave you are! I'm in the struggle, too," and then walked away. I kind of stammered a thank you, but I felt really taken aback and embarrassed. Honestly, when I'm out at an event for my kid, having a stranger get up in my face and remind me that I have cancer and that I look different is kind of jarring. I wanted to ask what struggle she thinks I'm in. I mean, I could have no hair for reasons other than cancer.
On the other hand, I'm lucky in that almost everyone I've encountered since this started has been really considerate and kind. I've seen some of the comments people have gotten and I can't believe the level of insensitivity people can have.
I hope it's a good weekend for everyone, with loads of follicular progress!
0 -
I have always said that chemo is like pregnancy too! Everyone tells you all the awful things that are going to happen to you, and only half of them do. Then weird things happen to your body, and you have no control over any of it. And now, my hair is the colicky infant that won't sleep for more than three hours that my son was. (Now that he's ten and a very sweet kid, I'm glad I kept him.)
My odd and awkward hair story for the week: my co-worker and I team interviewed a candidate. My interview style is very conversational, and I find this is effective to relax candidates sufficiently so that they let their guards down. And sometimes say things they shouldn't. As we were wrapping up, the (balding) guy we were interviewing said "I really like your hair. I've been looking at it and it's a beautiful color, or combination of colors. What I really want to do is get this new system I was researching that gives you a hair supplementation that that's the thickness of a contact lens, and you replace every four months..." So I'm glad he didn't come out and say "Is that a wig?" but am wondering if he identified that my "hair" is fake like the kind he wanted to buy!
0 -
Oh octo people can be so dumb at times with their comments like your coworkers. It's like they think it's ok to have no filter when interacting with someone who looks different. I had gotten compliments on my new look at my conference last month and some really uncomfy dumb remarks too. Then there are the people I know really well like close friends who want to touch my hair. I just want to say to those people I am not a pony you can't just pet me! Lo
0 -
So funny ShopGal (except that it is not): yesterday one of my friends was commenting on how 'soft' my hair looked...and I got the impression she wanted to touch it! Heck No!!! Right now, that feels like a very intimate move. My husband can touch my hair (and of course I touch it obsessively all the time to try and figure out if it is getting longer)...but everyone else: just no.
0 -
I have had several compliments on my super short pixie when I am working..Mainly the student teachers and new staff who do not know why it is so short. I just smile and say Thank You....It makes me feel better to know that it doesn't look like chemo hair, but rather a super short pixie. I really agree with the pregnancy comments...When I was wearing hats so many people thought they needed to tell to be strong, or about some relative/friend etc that went through cancer. But it made me think about if I ever made comments like that in the past without thinking...that is a scary thought. Next time I go in for a trim I am going to have white highlights put in to brighten it up. It is much more mono-tone than my previously natural dark chocolate. We are childless this weekend-the 14 year old is away at Language Camp in Bemidji MN-an immersion Spanish camp-so we are off to the new grocery store. We had a bunch of plans but we have 4 presidential candidates in town so roads are closed and traffic is nuts. Date night tonight at our favorite restaurant:)
I was feeling that it is growing very little but then I looked back on pictures from this fall and it really does look better:0) Happy weekend all!
0 -
Sloan: I think you are the one who said you wrapped your hair? Can you tell me how you do it? I was lucky to spend the last 9 days in the desert so the humidity didn't curl my hair up as much as usual.
0 -
Trvler - I posted pictures and how to wrap on Jan 31st. If you go back about 20 pages or so to January comments, you can see the pics!
0 -
Sloan, Your hair looks wonderful!! Pretty lady!!
0 -
These comments about co-workers and others reminded me of something from years ago, whom I ran into a colleague whom I saw only rarely. She had a new hairstyle, much more dramatic than her usual rather plain cut, and I complimented her. She looked embarrassed and explained it was a wig, and then I realized why she was wearing it, and we were both embarrassed. I still feel guilty for not handling it with more finesse. So some of the response we get is from people just not knowing what to say.
Hmm....cancer skills 101, I guess. Helping people past their response to your illness.
For those of you who are on Herceptin post-chemo, I have been paying attention to leg hair. (TMI, I know.) We always hear that hair grows more slowly on Herceptin, and of course it's impossible to verify on our heads. So I started to look at what was going on with my legs. The infusion is every three weeks. I shaved my legs two days after the most recent infusion. Six days later, there was the barest hint of stubble; in other words, there was almost no growth in the week after the infusion. I shaved anyway. 8 days later (or just over two weeks after the infusion), there was what I'd consider 3-4 days of normal hair growth, so it seems about half speed. The next infusion is on Friday, so we'll see what the third week brings. My theory is that it's growing around half speed, averaging the three weeks, but the real lack of growth is in the first week.
0 -
rain, I admit that even in the best of times i don't pay much attention to leg hair growth...but mine (no Herceptin) is back to its normal too-fast-to-bother-really-keeping-up-with-unless-I am-going swimming growth. I almost never wear dresses so that isn't an issue..No hair growth at all on my underarms (on either side, not just the radiated side)...and oh yeah, too much on my chin and side of my face. I have had to resort to shaving it several times :-(
I do wish the hair on my head would grow faster. While it is softer than it was pre-chemo it is definitely thinner and doesn't grow as fast...
Octogirl
0 -
Octo, I wonder: Is the hair on our heads softer because it hasn't been cut, so the ends don't have that harsh cut surface? I don't know why I never thought of that before.
I have no hair growth under arms except for a couple of small patches that were just outside the radiation field. Since the area is completely numb from surgery, I have to look in the mirror while I shave it.
Happy to report that eyebrows are back to normal, without the freakish bald patches.
Hair on head still looks like a toddler gone partially gray. Working up the nerve to try color.
I normally don't pay much attention to hair on legs, just shave when it looks like the werewolf DNA is taking over. It's because of the obsession with what's growing on my head that I started tracking it.
0 -
I'm so the opposite...I want to talk to people who have the "cancer cut" I sometimes wish they knew I was (supposedly) going through the same thing so we could talk. When I was pregnant only one person, a waitress, touched my belly. I was so excited! I wanted people to rub it and say cool things about how big I was (I looked like I was having triplets) and sweet stuff about babies.
0 -
Rain: I don't that's why it's softer. I think it is because it hasn't had color on it over and over, especially blondes. If you look at the typical blonde (age 40 or over) their hair is incredibly dry. I was using highlights and lowlights for years. I used the lowlights to keep the ends from getting too blonde. I had my entire hair done in the lowlight color thinking I would do my normal highlights later. I have pretty much decided I am keeping it darker with only miminal highlights to keep it healthier.
0 -
Allison, that makes sense.
But I didn't color, and mine's softer, I think.
Oh, who knows! Hope you figure out how to make yours straighter. I'm still waiting for mine to be long enough to use the flatiron without ironing my fingers, too.
0 -
Good Morning Ladies.......I hope it's ok to jump in here and ask a question about hair loss. I am entering my sixth year of Tamoxifen and starting to lose sufficient amounts of hair which by the way never came back as full as prior to chemo. When I run the sweeper I have to clean the beater bar every time and end up with a small handful of MY hair. I'm so upset that by the time I finish the ten year journey I fear I will be bald again. Does anyone take herbs or vitamins like Evening Primrose Oil without estrogen or Saw Palmetto?? Any input or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Next is to go to the PCP to have my thyroid checked (full panel not just the standard).
0 -
The reason it's softer is because it's basically baby hair. It's brand new hair, but the softness does eventually go away and you get normal texture back. Mine is still curly, but it's not as baby soft as it used to be. It's not messed up texture though. I use a cleansing conditioner to wash my hair because it doesn't dry it out as much as using shampoo. It's pretty gentle. I'm also coloring it, but I know a lot of women don't want to do that because of the chemicals. My stylist, who happens to be my cousin, uses a very nourishing color and it always looks a lot healthier afterwards.
How are you ladies growing your hair longer? I was going to try to do that, but now the longer layers lay flat against my head with just a wave and the ends are shorter hair is a tight curl. I've also said I look like Kramer! I think I"m going to give up on growing it out because it's such a pain in the butt, and I don't need anything else to struggle with.
I understand people not wanting others to comment on looking like a cancer girl. Personally, I always liked the comments, because I felt like looking like I had cancer gave me permission to look like crap. I'm more self conscious now, probably because this body seems foreign to me. I do hate hearing how good I look, because I'm always thinking they are just being nice because they know I've had cancer. I also think, I may look nice, but I'm feeling like crap!
I'm starting to avoid looking at my body in mirrors. When I look at my reconstructed breasts, I want to just cry. I have very fair, and therefore thin, skin so I may have had more scar tissue than other people. That's why my recon was so tricky. I have a fantastic plastic surgeon, but after surgery when he came out to talk to my family, he said that he did "the best he could." Not something you want to hear after all this! He even spent extra time working on me. I don't want to scare any of you though. Some people look great after recon. I plan on getting some fancy tattoos to cover up the scars and make the asymmetry less noticeable. I'm not sure how to find a tattoo artist who works on breast cancer patients. I don't want any ink that prevents me from getting MRI's and it has to be a very sterile procedure.
If I've repeated myself here, blame the chemo brain. It's made me dumb! I seem to have forgotten basic punctuation too!
0 -
Catlady: Go over to the reconstruction section on here. They know everything and can probably guide you to a tattoo expert. I am sorry you are not happy with your reconstruction. I feel like that too when I look at my hacked up body.
0 -
Catlady, I think a lot of us are dealing with body image issues after treatment (heck, during treatment). I mean, even for those of us who have had positive outcomes, we don't look the same as we did before, and it takes a lot of getting used to. I miss my breasts (waiting to heal completely from rads before seeing a PS). I miss my long, wavy hair. I miss being able to get dressed and not think too much about it. It's going to take a while to find an equilibrium. I know I've seen threads in the recon section about finding a tattoo artist; there seem to be several out there. Good luck!
0 -
My hair is definitely not softer. It has a courser, thicket texture. It is also not nearly as fine. I have colored mine for years...usually with high and lowlights and all over color to cover the few grays I had in the dark brown I had. I have an appointment for a trim in a couple of weeks and my stylist extrodinaire is going to put some white highlights in the brighten the steel wool gray that it is now. I have a few leg an arm pit hair...STILL no eyebrows.
0
