Chemo in Sept 08
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Juli...I started rads on Monday, too...Mine are at 9:30AM, 33 times. I'm tired just thinking about it!
Sweet curls, too, girlie!
Night, all!
Robin
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Hi Girls,
I'm back and feeling pretty good, had a bit of pain when I first came round, but all is well now that the painkillers have kicked in.
My Dr says she thinks that it was just a hormone imblance from Tamoxafine and the fact that my ovaries may have tried to come to life again, they got confused and gave me a flash flood of blood. I will get the histology report tomorrow, but she said that things LOOKED normal to her. She found two pollups??sp and took them out. Apparently there was a lot of blood still in there that didn't show up on the scan, so that is where the flood came from. At least there was a reason. I just couldn't picture it coming from nowhere????
I said to my oncol yesterday, if I do have cervical or whereever cancer will you just take out the uterus or will I have to have more chemo? He said he likes to only think on the positive side and deal with facts. I said yes, of course you are right, I am going on a luxury train journey on Friday with my husband and we are crossing over a huge bridge, it would be like me trying to plan what to do if we fell off the bridge, sounds ridiculous when I put it like that.
I took one of my postive thinking books in with me today and boy did I need it, especially when I read that "when your will power conflicts with your imagination, your imagination will always win out!" I for one, have a very good imagination, not always a good thing. Here are several positive thoughts for today for all of us.
Don't believe on miracles, rely on them!
Things are meant to go right, belive you are a lucky person!
Continuous thoughts of joy will heal anything and everything.
Genia I too had postive nodes after surgery and 6 months of chemo, 10/27, but all is well with me now and will be with you too. Don't panic about radiation, you will breeze throught it.
Remember you ARE a positive person who also has a very good imagination, don't let it get the better of you. If a stage IV thought comes to mind, interupt it with a good thought, practice this when you are calm. I always repeat "strong and healthy" to myself when I feel the panic starting to rise. It is alright to recognise that you are frightened, but try to grab hold of something positve immediatley. (I hope a cabana boy is standing next to you at the time)
Sorry to lecture, but I am doing it for me as much as you girls. Must stay strong, must stay positve, we can do this.
Juli, love the hair. I had someone at a party on saturday tell me that my hair grows very slowly, she knew I had chemo, how insensitive, the only thing I could think was "BITCH", sorry lifecoaches are not supposed to say that, who cares, some people are BTICHES, it's a fact.
Brandonmum, loved your post. Robin, love your hair, it makes me smile everytime I log on, so soft and shimmering in the sunlight.
Spring, loved the monster from the deep story!
Must go, as I am afraid I might loose this very long post. Take care girls, Singapore Chris x
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chris- glad to hear you are doing well. Thank you for the inspirational thoughts. I think we all tend to think down the road too much.
Girls i had to laugh!! There is an article in th Augusta (ga) paper today on senior in Fla doing CANE -FU for excercise. I just had to think of all of our jests about Mina's cane. THERE IS AN OUTLET FOR US!!! we can all be CANE-FU'ers!!LOL
For those of you starting rads..it will be fine. The daily travel gets old but compared to chemo rads were so muuch easier.
Genia- I hope you are continuing to rest and I know that the Lord has youin his hand.
Have a great day ladies and i will post later this evening.
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Chris, thinking positive thoughts for you!
Genia, my tumor was very large, and there was 3.5cm of it left after chemo. And I had something called "vascular invasion" even though my nodes were clear. Chemo does not wipe out all cancer where there is a huge mass, esp if it is ER+. Some women get a complete response, but I've heard this is mostly for ER- and Her2+, and not always then. I was told the anti-estrogen pills would be very important for me.
Spring.
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Hi ladies - we have been out of town for a couple of days.
Juli - love the hair. It looks about the same as mine! I can't wait for enough to dye!!
Genia - Don't worry, they got all the bad stuff out!!! That's why they took the nodes. I did have an expander at time of mastectomy and not really any pain, just uncomfortable and annoying. I still have one drain left. The incision is healing a little slow. The ps had to peel off the scab to allow the tissue under neath to heal. It really does look better now.
Chris - glad you are doing better!!! Take it easy and get well.
Genia- also wanted to say, my path report came back clean after chemo and surgery, but my onc said this was very rare. Usually they do find some at time of surgery, I guess that means you are more normal than me !!!! LOL
Have a great week to all
Trude
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I love my rad onc, but her staff is difficult. I met with her yesterday and we discussed all the options. I do not want tattoos, so they will be using marker and tegaderm to keep the marks. As a result, she said she wanted to schedule me for simulation and my treatment to start the same week (reduce the amount of time we are relying on the drawn marks). Makes sense to me. She also said she wanted to schedule me the "first full week of April". So I said all that to the scheduler who was out or something when I left yesterday. Of course I left a message for someone to call me back, which didn't happen. OK. So when does she schedule the simulation? March 31st. According to her, that is the first "full week of April". I told her she also wanted me to start treatments and why, and she said that had nothing to do with my treatments. OK, not looking to start a fight and it isn't the end of the world. I asked her to check with the doctor, but I get the feeling she isn't. Again, not the end fo the world, since I'm actually going a week earlier. In a way, I'm kinda hoping they go ahead and start treatments that week. It would have me finishing before Mother's Day, and would just be a nice thing. Not the end of the world however it ends up. If she had pushed my appt later, I definitely would have raised the roof, but starting earlier, I'm not sure if I mind.
Genia, I also had 2 positive nodes and a large tumor after chemo. My case is just a bit weird, because I had 1/2 of my chemo, then surgery, then the other 1/2 of my chemo. Remember, my surgeon also said I had "tremendous response" to chemo. So, I was expecting it to be much smaller than what the mammogram and MRI had thought the tumor to be. And I hoped, no positive nodes. Instead, it turned out larger than what the mammogram and MRI had said (they had said 3cm, and one of the tumors was 5.5cm!! What?!??! The pathology also changed. My original biopsy was ER+/PR+ HER-. My pathology after my mast, was ER+/PR-/HER+. Again, what??? So that meant, I wasn't going to be getting those 4 dd taxols and done with chemo. It meant 12 weeks of Herceptin/Taxol combo with the rest of the year herceptin. I was so mad. How could this happen? it also moved me up to Stage 3. Again, I went through a period of not believing it. Of course, my more reasonable onc said that they can test more cells than they could with the original biopsy. It looks like one of the tumors (I had two) was HER+ one was HER-. Some cells were PR+, most were not, but to be honest, since it was ER+ the PR didn't really matter treatment-wise. After I had time to come to grips, and it really felt like a whole new diagnosis, I was glad my onc had decided to give surgery a go after the AC. HER+ is nothing to mess with, and it got the Herceptin on board sooner, rather than later. So Genia, I know how you were feeling.
Spring, I also had vascular invasion.
I don't often post religious thoughts, but I do feel everything is working according to how it should be. I had a large tumor, and I feel that it was His hands that kept it from spreading. Before i even knew to pray that it not spread, He was there. I feel it was His guidance that had me do the surgery after the first chemo. In my mind, it seems there are steps backwards, or things are not working out sometimes, but then I'm reminded,that I don't see the full picture, and my experience is that when I think things are not working out, they actually are, it is just I don't see it that way from where I'm standing.
Big hugs to everyone!
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My cousin is a nurse and her boss is a bc survivor who is cancer free by going the "natural" way. She sent my mom an email, trying to get me to do the natural thing too..."she recommends that Juli starts drinking carrot juice every day. At least 8 ounces. After she gets used to it, in a week or 2 add Kale, and celery for the taste. She says make sure she is taking a multivitamin that does not have copper, boron, or iron. All of these either cause inflammation or feed the cancer cells. Next thing to do is cut out as much refined sugar as possible and switch to a little bit of honey, but only if necessary. She says the worst thing she can do is eat dairy. She says that is a death sentence if you have cancer as it causes a chronic state of inflammation in the body and acts as food for the cancer cells"
I might as well kick the bucket right now then...
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Jules, good grief!!!! I am trying to cut out the sugar. I think there is a balance between medical stuff and complementary stuff. Carrot juice cracked me up, sorry!!!
Brandonmom, I know. I as PR90% (biopsy) and then PR 0% (surgery). Maybe with these large tumors they are all different sorts of things.
Genia, Feel better baby!!!
Spring.
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Juli...I also know someone who is cancer free after doing the carrot juice thing. I'm still somewhat skeptical about whether it "really works"...
Robin
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Chris - Thanks for the inspiring thoughts. I find them really helpful.
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Me too Juli.....especially the dairy part!
Heck....ya take away all the good stuff to eat....ya might as well be dead! And I'm not joking either......what's the point of eating right.....eating right....eating right......to find out you have a recurrence? I think that would be so depressing.....to think I could have had all the milk I wanted and didn't. lol
I know I didn't take good care of ME....before the cancer. And there are some things I will change. But I'm not gonna live in fear of every single thing I eat causing cancer. I would get nothing else done except checking food items out.
I truly believe our enviroment plays a major role in us getting cancer......and there's not much I can do about what I breath....or the preservatives they put in foods.....or the water I drink!
Just my opinion......for what it's worth.
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Chris I'll be sure and say a prayer for you sweetie.....let us know something.
I appreciate all your responses about the remaining cancer.....that just upset me to no end.
How's your RADS goin Jane?
Colleen.....glad He was lookin out for you even before you knew He was. God is so good!!!
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Oh yea...I forgot to tell you all. My port that he took out.....he sent to the lab to have a culture done.....sure enough it tested positive for bacteria!!!
I'm very glad that he was lookin out for me when he didn't wanna take my left breast because of that nasty port!
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Genia - yay! a surgeon who did the right thing!
My echo showed some improvement... my ejection fraction is up to 40. Next Thursday the cardiologist is doing a 3 1/2 hour stress test on me. That's sounds stressful! LOL
Sad news at my onc's office today. One of the women I just saw last Tuesday, passed away this weekend. She was only 35 yrs old. Originally had ovarian cancer about 4 yrs ago, but has been battling lung mets. I keep seeing her in that chair across the room, me waving trying to get her attention to say hi. She didn't notice.
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Juli - That's so sad. It seems she's had a rough life for such a young woman.
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Juli - sooooo sad. It's makes us all think how lucky we are.
HELP - my hot flashes have gotton so much worse since my surgery, maybe finishing chemo had something to do with it too. I am so miserable, any ideas since hormones and soy are out of the question?
Trude
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Ok, one more thing, I got sooooo bored I bought a pre made pie crust (never done before) and cut up some apples, made a crumb topping. Wala !!! apple pie....my dh was so happy, but then he told me I should not have done all that work yet.....he loves me
Trude
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Trude.....a FAN.....lol. Works wonders for me. I sit it on my jewelry armoire and turn it til it's barely blowin on me.....no more hot flashes at night.
Sorry about the girl who was taking chemo with you Juli.......she was so young.
You go Miss Trude girl.....ya must be feelin lots better then? Apple pie sounds good right now....hehe
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Robin - I see you joined the April rads group because the March group was rude! What did I miss? Maybe I should sneak over too. LOL
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Hi Girls,
Just got the results from the gyny and all tests are clear, no new cancer! Thank god. I am off on a trip for 5 days on Friday, so can go with a clean bill of health.
good luck to everyone.
"I have come to this planet equipped with enormous powers and abilities"
Singapore Chris x
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Good to hear Chris.....what did they say caused that to happen?
Have fun on your trip......hugs
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Hi Genia,
They said that there was actually a lot of blood in my uterus, that they didn't see on the scans. It seems that my ovaries may have tried to start up again and the tamoxafine just confused them and I had a flash flood. I will find out the details tomorrow when I get all the reports. They also found 2 pollups, so maybe they were to blame, I will let you know when I know more. I haven't had any more blood, but am walking around with a pad, and will continue to do so for a while, just in case.
How are you feeling Genia? Singapore Chris
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I'm still very sore. I seem to be healing up good.....but my armpit hurts like crazy. Feels like there is a thousand needles under there....
I slept in my bed last night for the first time since surgery........I could partially sleep on my good side.....that felt so good.
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Have any of you have any jerking or twitching movements? I have been having them.....when I'm going to sleep especially. My head will jerk to the side. I have had my arms or legs do that before....but never my head. It's really strange.....then again I'M really strange......lol. My hands shake really bad too.....could this be caused by some neuropathy?
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I suppose it could be nerves twitching, but I have never heard of a head jerking before. Keep a check on it, but make sure you report it to your oncol.
Glad you had a good sleep, hope the pain goes away soon. I sometimes get the odd shooting pain in my breast or arm, but that is normal as the new nerves are starting to reconnect.
take Care. Chris
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Julie and Robin, do report in about the "rude" rads board vs the other... How funny! Chris and I had a nice rads board. (Jan).
Genia, you crack me up!! Twitching. I have noticed that sometimes when I am falling asleep I "twitch" myself awake. What is that anyway? I hope yours is nothing serious. What Chris said.
You cracked me up also about "having all the milk you wanted" LOL. Our lives are now funny, when having all the milk we wanted is our goal! LOL!!!! Not all the booze we wanted, all teh MILK!!! LOL.
Chris, glad you are okay! Enjoy your trip, worry free! Keep an eye on that though...
Jules, that is sad about that young woman. How totally unfair. I just hate C. I don't even want to say it's horrible name! What a shame... I think the saddest part is that you were trying to wave to her and she didn't notice. I can't imagine what she must have been going through. Well, she is no longer going through it.Maybe that is a good thing. But how sad...
Trude, you are such a cutie! Baking that pie!!!! ...the way you said, "he loves me" made me smile so.
Genia, I wonder if each of us has a "moment" during this journey when it just was the "too much" moment. For me, it was hearing that the chemo may not be working. It is just such a hard road to walk, and we do our best to keep strong and positive, and stay brave, but we're scared after all. Sometimes you just hear something that is like a punch in the stomach. It takes the breath out of you for a bit. It took me a couple of days to get over that one. Somehow it cut to my core. Thinking of you doll. I am thinking of you with your "mojo" back.
Chris, I like this one: "I have come to this planet equipped with enormous powers and abilities". do you make these yourself or find them somewhere?
Mina!!! HEloooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Give us a report on Mrs. Madoff!
As Mina would say, you all are my "peeps"!!!!
Spring.
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Genia - I've had the twitch me awake thing too, especially if I'm not laying flat. I love sleeping in my bed too! You don't appreciate it until you sleep somewhere else!
Chris - Have a great vacation! Can't wait to hear all about it.
Trude - My hot flashes are worse since I stopped the Neurontin. My onc says he will give me Effexor for that, but I don't want another drug. Anyone else taking someting for hot flashes? I take .5 mg of Ativan so I sleep through them. During the day, I just use a paper fan.
Hugs!
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I am not yet on the anti-estrogen things (so maybe the flashes will get worse?) but they're okay now. They were *really* bad during chemo, but that's when I apparently went from having my period to post menopausal in a matter of a few months.
I just uncover and recover all night, and layer up and unlayer during the day. Lately I've had "cold" flashes. What the hay?
Spring..
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If anyone is still seeing a breast surgeon, can you ask them a question? My rad onc said something that's bothering me. Keep in mind she is a NIH researcher, so has lots of info. She said that a skin sparing mast means they do not take all the breast tissue. She said if they did, the flap would die. Hmm, I've not gone through all this chemo, rad, etc, just to have it come back because of a "skin sparing" mast. Skin can be stretched, so it isn't necessary for recon. I've been trying to come to grips with what she said, but instead, I'm just feeling like if what she says is true, then I want the skin removed. Even after all this expander stuff....
Chris - I think it may be spelled polyps. I had one that my gyn thinks may have caused a slightly off pap smear, so apparently they are irritating. Maybe that caused your problems as well.
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BrandonMom - I had an appt with my bs on Friday. She said that I would still need to do month breast checks as I still could get cancer in the flaps but it's not likely. She also said that if a lump did appear it would be really noticeable because of the implants.
Karen
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