Stop Smoking Support Thread
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Jancie,
First off congratulations on 3 weeks plus! You are doing really great!
Yes, the teen years are really rough especially, it seems, with the boys. Not sure if you remember back to earlier this year but, around week 8 I had a huge fight with my, then 16-year old son. I was so mad that I drove to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and full intended to sit in the car and smoke every damn one of them!!! Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot and thought, the ONLY one I would be hurting was ME! Had a good cry and drove home without buying them!
Hope everything worked out OK for you and that the Ativan kicked in and did it's thing!
Jennifer
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Dutchy,
GOOD to hear from you! I DO remember you with your straws from earlier this year! I remember one night you were having such a tough time that they actually made you dizzy.. lol. Ya just do what ya gotta do to get through it! Amazing how far we have all come!
You are right! Easiest way to never have to quit again is to never start again! I am so happy that, now that your mandatory time is coming to an end, you have decided to continue on!
I think I read somewhere that there is a Part 2 for your surgery. What is involved in that? Continuing on now will certainly make that easier, I would think!
Glad you made it through your casino "first" without smoking! Sorry you lost a bit of money! I know when my husband and I go we bring only what we can afford to lose and count it as our "entertainment" money for the night.
We do have a lot of new-comers and I think that is GREAT!
Jennifer
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Mary-Lou,
Thanks for the encouragement!! 10 years, WOW!
I hope to be there one day myself!
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VJSL8 - thank you so much for the workbook - there is alot of good/motivating information in it and I'll be using it for my quit this coming Thursday. Thanks again
Edited to add - Ooops, that should have been Tuesday
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IsThisForReal,
Best of luck to you on Thursday! I will be thinking of you and checking in, when I can, to see how you are doing.
I agree! There is a LOT of very helpful information in VJ's workbook and she HAS been so generous in offering it here for free!
Ladies who are starting out, if you haven't checked out her workbook, it is really worth taking a look at! Lots of VERY helpful tips!
VJ, thank you so much, again, for your generosity!
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Christy2,
Did you take the plunge? If, so, hope you are doing well! If not, then I hope your time will be soon!
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Thanks IsThisForReal and SeasideMemories--I'm glad you found some value in it. Have a joyous day. VJ
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Oops - I got my own quit date wrong! lol It's actually Tuesday Thank you Seaside, for your support and encouragement, How long have you been quit for? And yes, VJ has been most generous in offering this information - I know it's going to be very very useful. 0
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Lol...IsThisForReal,
I mix my days up ALL the time. Tuesday it is then! I think you will find the ladies here to be all really supportive!
Can't remember if you mentioned what, if any, of the stop smoking aids you are using. I quit cold turkey and have been smoke-free for about 9 1/2 months! Everytime I see how long it's been I really can't believe it! Still occasionally get a craving but, do not regret being done with it!
Best of luck and post if you need anything!
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Seaside, How are you? You asked about stage 2 and it can be different for everyone. But I think I will need a lift and lots of lippo suctioning. Some women need to have scar revisions and some have at the end of their scars what is called dog ears, I don't think I have those, but they cut them off if they have them. There is more but I can not think of it right now.
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Dutchy,
I'm doing well! Had the Halloween trick-or-treaters last night so that was a bit hectic! Tonight should be quieter!
Oh wow, so it's really another surgery? I guess I kind of vaguely remember the PS talking about it but, I didn't get far enough down that road to discuss all of the details! I'm sure the results will be worth it. Any idea of when you will be having the stage 2 done? Do you go back to UCLA for that?
I did have my 1 year post-treatment mammo/US/MRI done and all came back good. Very grateful for that!
Jennifer
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is this for real - we need a shorter name for you! that is alot of letters to type out!
Good luck on your quit smoke date - you can do this. it is hard - i won't lie to you but look for that inner strength and latch onto it.
i got your pm - i am already part of an on-line support group and have been for 10 years now.
christy2 - how are you doing?
Dutchy - i remember back when you had to quit for your surgery that you wanted so bad. i am glad to hear that you are not taking it up again. after all we go through to quit - seems silly for us to keep putting ourselves back in that same position over and over again.
last night was horrific! Probably the worst night ever since dh and i got in a huge fight - something i can't wait to discuss with my therapist on Wednesday. i had been sleeping in his office because of my injury but then he came in there at 2 am, i was wide awake and pissed off that i took my stuff and went into the guest room. of course sleeping in the laying down position versus sitting up - i am hurting so bad this morning..
not looking for anyone to agree with me - but this is what happened. 3 years ago his daughter wanted to go live with her mother because her mother allows her to smoke pot, stay out all night, go to rave parties, etc. we are the strict parents. her mother refused to get a lawyer and try to reverse custody back to her because of course that meant she would have to take a drug test and she is an unfit parent and no court in their right mind would give back custody. so these two tried everything (daughter and mother), get the girl high, get her suspended from school, come home and cuss and scream at us, give dad the ultimatum - she goes or i go (referring to me), anything to get kicked out of the house. why? so they could claim dh abandoned his daughter and mother could go after child support because after all that is all she ever wanted.
so in any case, none of this worked because i was one step ahead of them and warned my dh what they were trying to accomplish. so......their last trick which i wasn't prepared for was to send the police over here accusing me of child abuse. no, it never went anywhere in the court system but the thought of having a police report on me accusing me of abuse was more than i could emotionally handle.
So the girl ends up running away to moms - we don't fight it - not worth it and besides the girl had assaulted me twice and dh once and so i started locking my bedroom door at night.
fast forward to yesterday. mom visits with son, has daughter with her who is 18, daughter is on my driveway petting one of the cats. I stood at the door and yelled "get off my property now" - oh boy did the furr start flying around here. i told dh that i was forced to do this because he had no balls to do it himself and what is important here - ummmmm protecting your wife from a violent person? oh so much more but i don't want to bore you but dangit again i wanted a smoke so bad i could taste it but instead i took a valium and had my own pity party.
seems odd that everytime i am trying to quit, the stepson starts acting up, refusing to obey the rules, do his chores, etc. and dh doesn't do a damm thing. stepson has not done any of his chores since the day i quit smoking - find that really odd - wouldn't you? seems like he doesn't want me to succeed at this and is hoping that dh and i will fight and i will go run and smoke which is what has always happened in the past.
ok, sorry for the length - therapy session is over. if the biological mother sees this - oh well - she is psycho and knows it and yes......she stalks me everywhere i go.
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Jancee, you are so right and it does sound like he is trying to make you fail. You hang in there and keep doing what you are doing because it is working.
Evelyn
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{{{JANCIE}}} As one evil stepmother to another, do NOT let the little creeps succeed! And as a little light at the end of the tunnel, my step daughter from hell, who accused me of hitting her (nope), insulting her (nope) asked be to be 'the mother of the bride" at her wedding. They are basically brain dead and come back alive at around 25-26.
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Jancie,
Sorry that you are still having to deal with all of this! I remember back earlier this year when your step-daughter and the ex-wife were causing lots of problems for you!
The teen years do turn some of these kids into people that you would look at and think 'they have lost their ever lovin' minds!' Barbara is right in that, if you can hang on long enough, and not kill them, they MOST of the time, come to their senses in their 20's. I know that was true for my daughter (now 21) and I hope will also be true for my son (now 17). I DO see glimmers of hope with him now that he is getting older!
I have a friend who has step-children and I know they really made her life miserable until recently. They have now become parents themselves and I think now maybe have a true appreciation for what that involves!
That being said, it DOES really SUCK when kids (don't care if they're yours, mine or ours) are successful in playing one parent against another! They are really masters at doing it BUT WE don't have to go along! Hope your husband wakes up and realises that really parenting requires supporting each other and presenting a united front!
Glad you were able to walk away! Sorry your night was awful!
Hang in there and feel free to vent when you need to!
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Jancie: Ditto what Barbara said. I had 2 stepsons who, along with their mother, made my life hell for a lot of years. The youngest finally figured out his mother was the problem, not me, and like Barbara, I was the "mother of the groom" at his wedding. It took the other one a lot longer. Last year, when he was 31 years old, he finally apologized to me and said he realized all our problems over the years were because of lies his mother fed him. He tells me this at his father's grave. Wish his dad had lived to see us bury the hatchet. Hang in there and if nothing else, turn it around and use it, i.e., I will not let the bitch make me smoke!
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thanks for your support and words of encouragement. right now i am giving dh the silent treatment. i don't want to talk to him. i definately don't want to talk to my stepson after the game he played yesterday. today he says he has to work late - comes home at 6:15 pm - that is over 1 hour late and within 30 minutes asks dh where the remote is to his TV. DH didn't respond. I said 'I know where it is and when you finish your chores you will get it back" So stepson decided to do one chore and spend the rest of the night in his bedroom. Guess he won't get his remote back tomorrow either as he still hasn't vacuumed the downstairs living room. If he is not careful i will remove his keyboard from his computer.
dh on the other hand doesn't want to deal with anything - he likes to bury his head in the sand and said that tonight he didn't feel well and that if i had anything to bitch abou to wait until tomorrow. i just gave him a blank stare - why waste my breath? Been doing that for years and it doesn't help.
the good news is that I am NOT going to allow any of tthem to control me and screw up my non-smoking. As tempted as i am to go smoke and get rid of this stress - i am going to stand my ground. My dh, stepson, stepdaughter, and dh's ex-wife all want me to fail at it so they have something over me - sorry to disappoint you guys but it isn't going to happen. I am taking the fight away from all of them and they don't know how to deal with it.
I will continue to do laundry and other household chores that I am physically able to do but grocery shopping and cooking - nope.....they can fend for themselves. I can live off of yogurt if I need to along with a daily ham/cheese sandwich and be just fine. No more cooking from scratch, spending 1 hour in the kitchen preparing dinner for them - they don't deserve my time or energy right now.
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Hear Hear Jancie!!! Don't give 'em and inch or they'll take a mile!
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Yea Janice! Way to stand up for yourself!!!!
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Good for you Jancie! You can do this 0
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Smoking is often a low effort coping mechanism to stressful situations, when what is needed is a coping strategy that often requires more effort but it's easier to reach for a smoke. We can't control the actions of others, all we can do is control our actions in response--and a cigarette is not the answer, it's just what we are used to doing. In my workshops we spend 2 sessions dealing with stress and negative emotions and coming up with alternatives to smoking. I'd be happy to send you a PDF copy of my workbook that may be helpful in finding other solutions.
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Today is day one for me. So far so good, but I'm taking Champix to help and help it does. I'm also reviewing VJ's workbook again. We need a high five smiley ladies!
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real - congratulations! i have tried almost every smoking aid and chantix works best for me. you can do this!
i am on day 25! this is the longest i have gone w/o cheating!
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IsThisForReal,
GOOD FOR YOU on day 1!!! The next couple of days may be rough but it DOES get rapidly better!
Jancie is using the Chantix as well and will be a great source of information for you! I do know I bought a book that was very helpful to me before I quit and I read and re-read many parts of it early on!
Hope VJ's workbook will be such a resource for you! Think of it as learning to ride a bike. Most start out slowly with training wheels, then graduate on to someone running behind you hanging on to the seat until, finally, you ride on your own! For now think of us as your training wheels!
Jancie,
CONGRATS on your 25 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! You made it PAST day 17, PAST all the stuff going on in your home and are STILL going!!! Keep doing what your doing!!!
Yes, we do need a high five smiley! But until there is one that we can easily get to, here's one for IsThisForReal on her first day AND Jancie for reaching her milestone of the longest she has gone without relapse! Here's to MANY more days for BOTH of you!
Keep it going!
Jennifer
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O2B,
How are you holding up? Have you heard anything else as to what your next step with your treatment will be? You are in my thoughts and prayers!
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you!
Jennifer
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Congrat's Janice on day 25!!!!
Welcome ForReal!!!!
Seaside - I have an appointment on the 15th to consult with the surgeon, I have moved my MRI up to the 17th so that (HOPEFULLY) I can remove my port at the same time as the thyroid surgery... one stop shopping
I am pretty confident that the MRI will be clear, but I still want to make sure before I remove the port., just to be safe... Thank you for asking.0 -
O2B,
I HEAR you on the one stop shopping! Getting a bit tired of, what seems to be, endless scans + doctor's appointments to commemorate my 1 year post treatment anniversary! Can these people NOT co-ordinate their information??!
Hoping for GREAT news for you with your consult on the 15th and your MRI on the 17th (I did Xanax for that one and really didn't care WHAT they did. Came home and slept for 14 hours. Can't recommend that enough..lol). Have added you to my calendar for those two days and will be praying for you!
Hope this is the beginning of the END of the set-backs for you!!!
You are in my prayers!
Jennifer
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Jan508,
Haven't heard from you in awhile! You still doing all right?
Jennifer
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Hi Jennifer:
Been busy, that's all. I'm doing good...day 44..still walking almost every day and really feeling quite good. A little intestinal issue but I think it's from the antibiotics I was on forever! I'll see if that passes and if not I'll mention to onco. at my 11/18 appt.
Going to PS in 2 weeks and he''ll start filling YEAH!!! Just had last of stitches out yesterday.
Jan
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Jan,
Glad to hear that you are still going strong! 44 days is really wonderful and busy is GOOD!
I too have been trying to walk daily. Started something called the step diet where you don't measure calories you measure steps. Ordered a pedometer and have been just logging whatever steps I normally take during the day. Boy, was THAT an eye-opener! I wasn't moving much at all. Busy all day but NOT ACTIVE. Big difference!
I am in phase 2 right now where you add 2000 steps per day to whatever your average was from phase 1. I have been doing really good about it! Basically you stay in phase 2 until you feel comfortable that you can maintain that small daily increase and then you enter phase 3 which is to add 500 steps to your total and walk that many steps for week 1. Then add another 500 steps for week 2, etc until you reach week 12 (an increase of 6000 steps over a 12 week period. Then maintain. The premise is you make small, maintainable changes, that, when done over time become habit!
My husband started at the same time as me but he is far more active than I am during the day. He has lost 10 pounds! Hoping if I step up the pace the same will be true for me! I don't have a lot to lose but did gain some when I quit smoking and I think the Tamoxifen isn't helping either!
Glad to hear the stitches are out and that you can get back on track with your reconstruction!
Jennifer
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