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Stop Smoking Support Thread

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Comments

  • Janzin
    Janzin Member Posts: 491
    edited July 2009

    You know, a quit smoking camp is not a bad idea. Miles from smokers and stores, lol.

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    I LOVE the quit smoking camp.  Boy, you are on to something there.  Although, if I know myself, I will be rolling birch and aspen leaves together and smoking those....heehee......

    I will keep trying today.  So far so good, but I am SO miserable.  This sucks.  Seriously, if my dh even looks at me funny today, he is in BIG trouble.  If he had a brain (which I am starting to wonder if he does or not) he would come in carrying chinese take out and "I'm sorry" flowers.....but he won't because that would only come from a sensitive man.  MY man makes fun of me when I cry.  Boy, I am not going to be able to forgive this one for a LONG time.  If he doesn't shape up I am going to slip my Tamoxifen pills into his vitamins and he will know what if feels like to cry...heehee.....lol......

    Here's to better days!

    Ellie

  • Janzin
    Janzin Member Posts: 491
    edited July 2009
    Oh Fifish, so sorry you are having a hard time. I know that tore up my ex quit a few times. He did laugh though when I went off on some guy who was using his cell phone during the movie theaters. But he shouldn't make fun of your tears. I would give him exlax and put sanding paper in the bathrooms, whoops did I say that. That must be my evil quit smoking twin.

    Quit smoking camp is excellent idea. I think there are some but way to expensive. Hey, we could make it a quit smoking and diet camp complete with a trainer to really work out the lungs and fat. Have punching bags for the rough days, art, music, dancing, hiking or bike riding. In the mountains or by the beach, somewhere peaceful. Northern Ca has some beautiful forest right on the beach, I might want to stay forever, lol.
  • candie1971
    candie1971 Member Posts: 2,467
    edited July 2009

    Hi all,

    day 82 for me...I know I always announcce it but that's what keeps me from not smoking!!

    So far it's been 6 days for me not eating Mounds bars..lol...a new addiction to get over lol.

    I really need to lose some weight too since I put on some and I didn't need the some as it is.

    Congrats on all those who have quit recently. You can do it!!! Good support system going on here..I just read back a few pages. Best of luck!!!

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    Hey Candie, good for you, you are really a motivation for all of us.

    Thanks for the backup Janzin.  I already feel like crap on a daily basis, and now I don't have my smokes to make me happy.....and now my once loving dear husband has turned into a complete a$$!  Sorry I just keep venting....I am just so sick of crying and you ladies are the only ones who can understand.  I HATE when I have days like this....hopefully it will pass and be better tomorrow.

    Stay strong out there.

    Ellie

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    Ellie keep venting!! SCREAM ALL YOU WANT HERE!!!

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    How mean. Your husband laughing at you when u cry. Cry Cry Cry until you are Cried out. Let him laugh all he wants. When you are quit...he better watch out for the new powerhouse you!

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    Sorry about the migraine Butterfly..Hang in there.

    Janet one smoke a day is huge progress. One hour at a time.

    NONE of you are weaklings...This is one of the hardest things you will do in your life.

  • Janzin
    Janzin Member Posts: 491
    edited July 2009
    Thanks Ladies for being here. Hang in there Fifish, crying and screaming can be part of quit smoking, I went through that before. I remember having to set boundries because last time I use to take on so much but it eas okay because I could just smoke if off. When I didn't have my smoke, I got real grumpy.

    Congrats Candie on your 82 days smoke free. You are awesome!!!

    Thanks Cleo, this is one of the hardest thing to do. And I am emotionally messed up with the divorce, BC and life. Smoking doesn't help, I know that because it's better to deal with thing straight. One day at a time!

    Hey, I feel sick, just ate a bunch of cookies, yuck!
  • REKoz
    REKoz Member Posts: 164
    edited July 2009

    JUST CHECKING IN..........ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  Back at ya REKoz.  Having a rough day like me I see........

  • butterfly137
    butterfly137 Member Posts: 87
    edited July 2009

    Hang in there REKoz!  And FlFish, sorry your husband is being a jerk.  At least you have a husband. Janz...sounds like you are having a tough day too.  We all need to hold on.  No I haven't been doing so good today.  My roommate who is supposed to be my best friend is being such a bitch, and I have a migraine that wont go away, and I am just so fed up with life right now.  There's a lot more going on, but it's personal family stuff that I don't know that my mother would want me to share, so out of respect for her I wont, but it's killing me. 

    I know there are SO many people who have it a LOT worse than me, a LOT...it's just hard...life is just really hard.  So, one hour at a time, like Janz...here I go....thank you all for your posts, they've helped me not feel so crazy =)

    Much Love To All

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    My ears are itchin like crazy..just took a benadryl so should be getting sleepy soon. Cant see the ear doc til Mon, so I will try my PCP since I don't know if I can last the weekend with this. Had a stupid BC dream last night where I was discussing treatment options with my BS. I am joining you in the feeling PISSY dept.

  • Janzin
    Janzin Member Posts: 491
    edited July 2009
    Don't know about you all but have the blues a little. Think I will go to bed at 7:00pm just to get the day over with and start a new one.

    Cleo, had a dream that my cancer boob turn into a rock. Hang int there, we'll get past this stress.

    REKoz and Fifish, Grrrrrrrr right with you!

    Butterfly, you ever heard of bitch slapping, just kidding!

    Pantufas, how are you feeling today?

    Hey, my tongue burns, ate a bunch of sunflowers seeds. I am pretty pathetic.
  • msc209
    msc209 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2009

    Thanks for the replies ladies. You guys are too funny. I can tell this will be my place to go.

    My surgeon is on vacation this week..It !&$^# FIGURES! So another week I wait to hear what type of options I have in regards to surgery. I did get the MRI info from the nurse at his office. She said I have an enlarged lymph node in addition to the invasive carcenoma...? In english please? And a large mass on/in my right breast. I have no clue what any of this means and I am going to my gyno tomorrow for a quick "breast cancer for dummies" course. This way when I go to the surgeon I have a clue..somewhat. I am not quitting my friend Marlboro Lights until I start whatever type of torture he has in store for me. This week I am funny Michele. Last week not so much. I think it's because I can pretend to be normal for one more week

  • REKoz
    REKoz Member Posts: 164
    edited July 2009
    Michelle- I am so sorry you are going through this. The beginning of this so called journey is absolutely THE WORST! (At least until you have to quit smoking!!). The not knowing is torture and not one I will ever forget. So I feel for you so very much! I am not familiar with your origins...sorry, I haven't had a drag of a cig since yesterday so my brain is quite odd! Not that it isn't always! Anyway, I truly hope you are managing the plethora of emotions that occur when one is told their tests show something wrong.
  • nancypat
    nancypat Member Posts: 239
    edited July 2009

    Hi fellow Butt Fondlers!

    How is everyone?  Janzin, I need to get up with you and flfish on facebook.  My feeble brain is nagging at me that I have a new friend as well.  Will have to go and try to figure it out.  My biggest problem is that I am an idiot where pc's are concerned.  I don't know how to respond to half of what I'm supposed to and then I forget I am even on facebook.  Please bear with your stupid friend.

    If I could take the cravings from you guys I surely would.  I guess I am still in too much pain for it to bother me.  In fact, I think I went through all of that when I was out of it in the hospital.  Every once in a while something tries to creep in but then I start my " I don't smoke " mantra and then I forget about it.  The strokes left me with short term memory loss so that probably helps too. lol!  I can't remember to remember I smoked.  I know that isn't very funny to those who are biting the bullet now.  Janzin, I am amazed that you can get down to one cig a day.  I know others of you cut down until you quit and you have to be the strongest.  I couldn't control myself like that.  I either smoke or don't smoke. 

     REKoz, you have a lot of insight.  Pat and Nancy both smoked but we both know that we nearly died and aren't totally out of the woods yet.  I didn't know it but I would give any amount of cigarettes for just one more day or one more week.  In the morning when I open my eyes and know that I have made it, I am so grateful.  I want more and I know I have to do my part.  With my health being what it is, I have to make a choice.  I went for too long thinking I could have what I wanted. Not so.  Good luck on getting every last bit of nicotine out of your system and your coming surgery.   We shouldn't be made to feel like criminals or lesser people because we smoke and the health care system really kicks you in the bottom for it.  I'm sure they have no vices.  Anyway, get all splendiferous for your dd's big day.  I am smiling for you.

    Hey butterfly!  Janzincould tell you a story or two about room mates.  I'm glad she doesn't have to deal with that anymore and I'm wishing you strength to help you deal with cretins.  You have enough.  You don't need more bs.  Hope your headache goes away.  Have you tried Stadol or Maxalt?  They are heavy duty but sometimes that's what it takes.

    Candie, you are one of our heroes.  82 days and yes, be proud of it.  Each day you add to that makes you stronger, doesn't it?  Mounds sound good.  I'm getting my appetite back but to look at me you would think I never lost it. 

    How are you doing cleomoon?  You are so good to give everyone else support.  Here's a big hug and best wishes for you.

    flfish,  I know your husband is acting like an oaf right now and probably is.  Only you know that.  I had so many years of my different "heads" laughing at my tears.  That hurts worse than just about anything.  Think about yourself and what you need.  I know it's hard to suck it up and I'll probably get some mud pies thrown at me for saying it but when we are in a vulnerable position (as we are) sometimes we have to suck it up until we are stronger and can deal with things in a different manner.  Remember that it won't always be like this.  Be strong, because you have to and one day you will surprise the sh%t out of the oaf because he didn't know you had it in you.  Hopefully, he won't do any more damage that can't heal and things will be okay.  Hang in there because one of these days things could be wonderful.  My lungs ain't worth a crap but I've got big shoulders if I can manage to stay alive long enough to give you, and Janzin and REKoz some of my pearls of wisdom in that department.  God knows, I've had enough experience!

    mb, wishing you the best.  Please remind me of what you are having done.  I can't remember what kind of surgery.  The best to all of you facing surgery, chemo, tests or what have you.  BC sure does take over our lives and keep us busy.  My calendar looks like football plays instead of a calendar.  This is one instance where if someone called me I would have to say.  " I'll have to check my calendar."

    Lursa, malleme, o2b and you other dear butt fondlers or lurkers, please let us know how you are doing.  o2b, I just remembered you are going to get your hair cut.  Hope your hairdresser comes home soon.  If you're like me, when I get a wild hair, I have to have it right now!  I used to live in Ajo.  We had to go to Phoenix or Tuscon to buy anything.  I was a kid then but I loved Arizona.

    I think it has taken me three hours to do this post.  It's time for a pain pill and some rest.  Thinking of all of you and I want to leave you with just one thing.  I sent my ds today for some things and to check my bank balance and boy was I surprised!  One other good thing about not smoking.  Maybe one day I could afford to join everyone somewhere for a hoot!

    Love to all,

    Nancy, Pat, Susan (is beginning to grow some hair, some silver, some black) Tongue out

  • REKoz
    REKoz Member Posts: 164
    edited July 2009

    Oops, I hit submit before I was finished! My God, I am REALLY LOSING IT!!  Ellie, I'm with ya my friend..this is torture!!

    NOW I"LL HIT SUBMIT CUZ I'M SHOUTING!!!!

  • Janzin
    Janzin Member Posts: 491
    edited July 2009
    Hang in there gals, scream it out if need be!

    Thansk Pantufas for your wisdom, I really need it.

    Welome MSC, we are a crazy bunch here. Hope everything turns out okay for you, sending you positive vibes!

    O2bhealthy, hope your doing okay with your recovery, tubes coming out soon?

    Well back to eating again.
  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited July 2009

    WOW!!! So many posts today... It's been a REALLY LONG today and I just got home...WITHOUT MY DRAINS Kiss What a relief!  I am too tired to post much but I wanted to pop in and say:

    Cry all you want...this is NOT fun...

    SHOUT ALL YOU WANT TO CAUSE CANCER SUCKS AND QUITING SMOKING IS HARD!!!!!

    Just wanted to let you all now I am so proud of everyone for being here for each other and even though there are days that are just plain HORRIBLE we still have a save place to vent, rant, shout, cry and encourage with no judgment and lots of love...

    HUGS TO ALL!!!

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    Hi Pantufas,

    I am confused about the Nancy, Pat and Susan. Are Pat and Susan your friends/family?

  • nancypat
    nancypat Member Posts: 239
    edited July 2009

    Hi cleomoon,

    No, Nancy, Pat and Susan (my bald persona) are all me.  Susan is a joke about me losing my hair so we needed a name for another one of me.  flfishcame up with Susan Powter who used to have a fitness show on TV eons ago.  She was super agitated and had wispy nearly bald hair and would stop suddenly and shriek, " STOP THE INSANITY !!"  She was hilarious.

    I have what is clinically called a personality disorder.  In other words, when I was younger and suffering abuse a part of my personality split off in order to deal (or not deal with it).  It was a protective mechanism and I am still blessed/cursed with it.  It didn't help that my mum's name was Nancy so my family called me Pat.  Nancy is the official me, shy, thoughtful, creative and nurturing.  Pat is the protector.  She can pretty much scare the crap out of someone but she's never hurt anyone.  My son's best childhood friend put it best.  He said I was the only person he knew that could go from rabbit to rotwheiler (sp?) in 1.2 seconds.  He also calls me Momma ll so that shows how much he is afraid of me.  He was just close enough to understand that that is how I am.  I would fight a wounded bear over him too. 

    I hope this explains a little.  It would take a book to tell it all.  Most of the time I'm Nancy but my close friends here know when I'm Pat.  You will learn too.  You are among the very few people beside my family that know this about me.  I chose to be honest on this thread because I felt a cocoon of caring, supportive, nonjudgmental people that I could trust.  Don't feel bad if you are still confused.  We are most of the time too. lol!  The hardest part is trying to keep track of what each of us says and to whom and who we said it to.  Some times the other one is oblivious.  I have to do a lot of re-reading and then I still don't get it right, but I try and I care about all of you.  People say you can't choose your family, but I have.

    Have a good night my friends and thank you cleomoon for asking.

    Nancy

  • cleomoon
    cleomoon Member Posts: 152
    edited July 2009

    Oh my gosh I remember Susan Powter...amazing what is stored in our minds. Stuff we don't need...as you know all to well. I totally get it, and actually wondered if it might be DID. So brave of you all to come out here. In dealing with my abuse I also have parts of me, though not separate personalities.

  • nancypat
    nancypat Member Posts: 239
    edited July 2009
    We do what we have to do to protect ourselves.  It could have been worse.  Pat could have been a Sasquatch. lol!Tongue out
  • godtra
    godtra Member Posts: 1
    edited July 2009

    i was very glad read about smoking how bad it is. i stop smoking 4years ago, and i did it cold turkey. today i feel good and happy.

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    Nancy, Pat, Susan...you rock.  I am so glad to see you back here.  Rest and get your strength back.  I so missed your posts while you were in the hospital.

    Ok, so I broke down yesterday and smoked 3 ciggs, but in my defense I AM BEING SABOTAGED!  My dh walked in the door carrying a big bouquet of flowers (oh, he KNEW he was in big trouble) and inside the bouquet he had a pack of smokes.  ARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!  He said he didn't want to fight and he knew the fight came from the fact that we were not smoking....um, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He just didn't want to quit and wants me to quit quitting with him (does that make sense?)  He did this to me last time when I had already made it 5 weeks.  This SUCKS.  This is like trying to lose weight and bringing me junk food.  He claims he likes his "smoking wife" better because she is a lot more fun to be around....um....thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks. 

    So anyway, I slipped up and smoked 3 last night (I was so pissed).  I did however throw the pack in his truck this morning and told him to take them away.  I don't want them near me.  So, today I start again.

    I hope you all are doing well.  Thanks for letting me vent!

    Hugs,

    Ellie

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    On a good note, my days are getting easier.  My nights are VERY tough yet but during the day....when I am ALONE, I really do pretty well.  Even when I do have a craving during the day, it doesn't last long.  I wish the evenings could be the same way.  Does anyone else notice that?

  • msc209
    msc209 Member Posts: 12
    edited July 2009

    Yesterday, 20 mins before I closed up the store a man came in. Ok I was only diagnosed 10 days ago. Well this guy is the director of the local chapter for the National Cancer Society. How wierd is that? He told me about a bunch of programs they offer. All free!

    SInce we're on the smoking thread I'll mention what he said to me. He said they've made progress with almost every type of cancer EXCEPT lung cancer.

    I'll be back later.  PS I haven't quit yet. But I know I have to. 

    oh and excuse my pic..God I look like a fat face..Michele Saint
    Dx 6/27/2009

  • flfish
    flfish Member Posts: 309
    edited July 2009

    The universe works in mysterious ways and always gives us what we need, not always what we WANT, but it will provide what we NEED.  I think that is a cool cosmic thing that happened to you yesterday msc209.  Good luck with your quitting.

  • butterfly137
    butterfly137 Member Posts: 87
    edited July 2009

    Hahahaha...Janz...you crack me up....and trust me oh I know a thing or two about a good bitchslapping, screw that, I'll just knock out a few of her damn teeth!  She had nothing to say when I went home...AND she had her boyfriend and her boyfriends father there, so it was 3 against one last night, so obviously she's scared to start shit.  She's seen me fight before, and fight men, so she knows.  It's not like I want to fight her though, she's supposed to be my best friend, but, it just goes to show, don't open your heart up too much. 

    Pantufas...thank you...you touched my heart and really helped me deal with my own issues...even with a sense of humor on such a dark topic.

    Anyway, at least the migraine is FINALLY down to just a very minor headache, I got a fairly good nights sleep last night, and I am planning on going and getting a VERY fattening homemade pretzel from the Amish Market =)

    Hoping everyone has a much better day today than yesterday!

    Oh yea...HOOORAAAAAAYYYYYY for O2B for no more drains!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

    Much Love To All!!!

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