Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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o2bhealthy now I am crying for you and your nephew's family. It is so hard to loss anyone but a child is the worse. I have been there with my sister when she lost her 5 year old daughter 12 yrs ago Oct 25th. Oh I am sending serious prayers and will put out to my sisters and friends to help lessen the pain. I can only tell you the footprints in the sand poem was truly how we all managed to handle the loss.We knew only god was carrying us.
Janzin get back on the wagon forget the slip up. forget the ex. your can do this.
Malle
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o2b, I am so sorry and praying for Bailey and all of your family. I wrote this for my own brother, I hope it helps you when the time comes.
For Freddy
I know my time on earth was brief
And if I could I would ease your grief
If a promise could take away your fear
I promise one day you will join me here
As Heaven is filled with God's own choosing
Please don't feel it's me you are losing
For if all are old when they come
Where would Heaven find it's young?
I have asked my brother to find him as he comes so he won't be alone.
Love to you and yours,
Nancy
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Janzin, don't beat yourself up. You will know the time and you will stop without even thinking. You will get tired of the taste, the smell, all of it and then you will chuck then and never look back. My sis saw a lawyer on the news talking about Chantix so some of you may qualify for a settlement of some kind. Wouldn't hurt to look into it. I don't have tv but those who do can keep an eye out.
malle, thinking of what a wonderful person you are. No matter when one of us needs someone, you are there. I think you are our angel. Wishing you and o2b well on your surgeries.
I know the fish woman is busy watching football and taking the fossils on tour at the museum and Irene is mourning the loss of her father. Kind of wish we knew how the rest of you are doing. Special thoughts to you mb. As always I pray for the courage that we need to go through what we must. Yes, God does carry us!
Love,
Nancy
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Hi Pantufas, can't help it. I have failed over 6 times. Haven't given up and I will continue to try. Maybe it will happen soon. Thanks for your words, means a lot. I will look into Chantix!
REKoz and Michelle, my heart is with you and I am sending you both hugs. I hate the fact that I can't do much, wish I could help in some way, but my brain is always on and maybe someday we will be able to help others.
Mallame, you are an angel!!!! Thanks for all your support, it did give me courage to go a bit further, just have way to much stress to deal with and adding the stress of quitting reallky set me over the edge. One day at a time and we will work and get our lives back!!
Having a down time again but trying to work on top of it because if I don't, know one else is there to do it and I'll just stress from getting behind. Anyways, I like to get some content up on BCBK and I thought a testimonial about your positvie feelings about the dead pics would be awesome. It might help those who don't understand and if they do understand, maybe they will participate. I will post mine as soon as I am done writing it.
Best to all, life is tough but I know we have to hang in there because the good times just might be around the corner! Stay positive ladies!
Love,
Janet0 -
Pantufas - thank you for sharing your poem! It is BEAUTIFUL!!!
Love you guys!!!!
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Pantufas that is a wonderfu poem.
Janzin- It's ok your day will come.
o2B I am so happy for you, I know how those TE's feel. What a relief when they are out.
Have a peaceful night Ladies.
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Okay ladies, made myself work even though I was tired and down. I finished 4 t-shirt designs tonight, would like more variety but it's a start untill we get it going. Will order them tomorrow. Only adult sizes until we have moere money. But at least there is 4 to choose from. I went with white as it's the cheapest and black for popularity. Will add color shirts down the road.
Here they are, 2 fanceir ones and 2 plainer ones. Oh, had to minus colors as I forgot our logo and colors cost money. Colors you see will differ when it goes to print.
Thinking about swapping the above fro another darker color.
Will have them for sale soon. Half the money goes to breastcancer.org and the other half is to hire some of us to move this company forward.
Love you all, sorry I have been down. Feel unsupportive for some of you who are suffering a lot more than me. Your are beautiful, strong and courageous. Hugs yourselves for me!!!
Janet0 -
Ooops, can't see some of my background, have to wait till I buy the shirts, lol.
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ZinZin, goober, I can't see anything but it might be the meds. That would mean the shirts are invisible and would make even a greater impact! As you have noticed I'm three sheets to the Ativan. Must hoik myself to bed. Good night ladies!
Love to all,
Nancy
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REZok & Michelle - my heart and prayers are with you and your families. Wish there were more to offer during this difiicult time for each of you even though there is truly little that eases that dark time. Know that therer are many in your life (including us here) that stand ready to support you in any way that you need or want. Love and eHugs!
All - I've been out and offline for a little over a month since Aug 21st due to increasing adverse SE's. After the second dose dense AC + Avastin/placebo treatment the SE's continued their relentlessly increasing effects to the point where my "good days" were the only on last day prior to the next IV treatment. Even then a good day was really only a few 2-3 good hours. I've been bare able to walk due to exhaustion (next level past fatigue), difficulty taking a shower for god's sake! and had to rest part way through by leaning on a wall and eventually had to install one of those handicap shower chairs for safety after nearly collapsing twice, having to force feed myself post chemo otherwise I lose 1-2 lbs per day, pain & tingling in hands and feet, dizziness, and migraine headaches. Episodic low blood pressure 102/68 was diagnosed together with anemia (RBC was 9.8 - low). Onc prescribed a shot of Procrit for anemia and felt really fabulous for a little under 24 hrs then returned to the slow decline in energy levels. Recent blood test showed that the Procrit stopped further decline in RBC - level was still 9.8. Onc wants to avoid giving me another Procrit injection as the drug interfers with the chemo and has some high risk SE's. Only other alternative would be a transfusion.
Plus side may be that the new cyle of chemo begin today. Switching off from AC+Avastin/placebo to Taxol+Avastin/placebo. Split dose on a weekly schedule for next 12 weeks that will end on Dec. 9th. Some SE's should be reduced - fatigue; some increased - risk of infection, pain/tingling in hands and feet, dizziness, erratic heart rate, etc. I'll be leaving for hospital chemo room in about an hour for the 4+ hr process of a 1st infusion of Taxol + Avastin/placebo.
I'll have to see what my response is so I don't know when I'll next be able to return to this site to update you. Thank you for all your love and concern via this site, Facebook, and my CaringBridge. I did read the 8 pages (!!!!) of posts since I had last logged in and there were so many postings to comment on but I don't feel up to tracking them all right now. Please know that each of postings brought laughter, sympathy, caring, and a desire to help with a kind word or a bit of insight or information. Unfortunately, my energy levels have made it so that I really need to conserve every bit I can and keeping up with all the stuff I need to do in the few hours out of the 2 weeks is just about all I can do. I miss you all terribly though. Take care, blessings, and Aloha to each of your wonderful powerful women!
Love & eHugs,
Denise (Honolulu, HI)
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Denise - thank you for your support! I am soooo sorry you have been dealing with such debilitating side effects, I truly hope the Taxol will be much gentler on your body and the next 12 weeks go quickly.
All my best and Lots of Hugs!!!
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Hello ladies. Here it to wishing you all a happy weekend. Michelle and Ellen, you and your families are still in my prayers, as well as all the wonderful ladies on this board.
I can't wait for the weekend to start, I am tired of the daily grind!
Hugs to all!
Ellie
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Hi everyone! I am sooo happy the weekend is here! I hope everyone has a great weekend filled with laugher and love.
Update on Bailey...his pain level has increased and so has his morphine dosage, he is sleeping almost all the time now with brief 1/2 - 1 hour moments of awareness. Thank you everyone for your prayers...
Lots of Love and Hugs!
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Hello o2Bhealthy and REKoz, still sending out positive energy and love. Love to you both and your family!!
Denise, have missed you and thanks for letting us know what is going on. I am soooo sorry you are going through all that. Take care of yourself, we will write you to let you know you are in our thoughts even if you are feeling too bad to post. Lots of love heading your way!
I have a crazy work day but you all are in my thoughts. Much love to all! I will try to catch up with the rest of you as soon as I get a break!
Hugs,
Janet
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Hi Ladies, quiet weekend here. Been such a tough year for us, I look forward to all of us moving forward.
Congrats to the quit smokers and congrats to those who are still trying. I haven't given up yet. Maybe when I go home for Christmas and no one smokes there, that may be my best chance.Bella wishes everyone well, I can't believe how much a small dog can piss. I wish I could share her with you all as she is my bundle of joy every day.
O2Bhealthy, thanks for giving us updates. My heart breaks for you all.
Pantufas, haven't heard from you in a while. Think we need one of you funny stories.
Nadine is MIA too, could use your funny stories too.
FIfish, could use your BAHAHAHA's
Denise, hang in there. We will get through this, sending you love and lot's of meds, lol.
REKoz, our hearts are with you. Big hugs for you.
Malleme, our angel on this thread. Always supportive, I hope you are doing well too.
Brain is shot but if I missed some of you, need to check in, lol. Short term memory. We should do a shout out soon for the gals who have quit. You inspire us all.
Hugs,
Janet0 -
I just did some reading on Chantix, thank you Michelle. I have probably been on it for about 3 months, off and on. I am worried about it so I am going off. The wierd thing some states that it stays in your system for a while, not sure if that is everyone. But haven't done any in 3 days and still have vivid dreams. Think I am going for the patch next or gum, which worked well with Michelle.
It's never to late to quit or think about quitting!!!!
Have a great sunday,
Janet
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Wow Janet, I forgot you were still on the Chantix. Did it affect your moods? I actually kind of liked the dreams, they were cool.
I had a fun weekend. I think that this was the first weekend in a LONG time where cancer didn't creep up on the brain. Nope, not at all. Then this morning, I get a phone call about a follow up appointment with my surgeon....thanks, cancer back on the brain now. Is it just me? Does it ever get off your mind completely? I hope so, I am tired of thinking about it.
For me, I am still smoking. although from 9-6 while I am drivng to and from work, and while I am at work, I do not smoke, and I do not miss it. Now I just need to extend that farther. If I can go 9 hours, every single day and not miss it, why can't I do the other 6 hours or so that I am not sleeping?
Have a great day all!
Love,
Ellie
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Hi Ladies, still have the dreams and been off for about 4 days or more. I like the ones with the cute guys, lol. I mean guy, lol. Sleep long hours and today I made myself wake up. Funny thing is that I read about not wanting to do anything on chantix, despressions, not caring, etc, but I have had that since my divorce and was starting to feel better and then got hit with BC. So I couldn't tell anyone why I feel like that, maybe it is the combo. I just keep plugging away and know that one day, divorce, BC and meds will be behind me.
Work on the BC shirts last night and had to simplify it fto make it more affordable. I am looking for a web designer to help me with the site as I realize I am not at my 100%, maybe only at 50 % and need help. Weird for me to say this as I don't ask for help much, pretty much was my ex's work horse. But then I use to like long productive days.
FiFish. 9 hours is great so you are getting there. Pretty soon you'll forget one for 10 hours and so on, but keep working it!
Well I am holding down the fort for us. Who knows, a newbie may need help as quit smoking is hard on any days, but with BC it can be really scary. So far my nipple has healed fine, but not as good as it should of and slower because of smoking. I can say that it is awesome to have 2 head lights again!!!! Bad thing is you can't turn them off, lol.
Cheers to all, let's keep it going!
Janet
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Hi All!!! Wow it has been quiet...I am just as bad. Have been working more hours and my DD has soccer practice three days a week so not a lot of time for playing on the computer.
Good news is my last chemo is tomorrow!!!! And I have a date for my exchange surgery, NOV 12th!!!! Yeah!!! Just need to confirm with Onc that it will be ok soo soon after Herceptin TX.
Well steroids and night meds are battling it out for supremacy...I hope the sleep meds win
Love you guys!
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Yippee on you last chemo Michelle! That is wonderful news.
Janet, glad to see you keep us going. I am also glad to hear you have two headlights again. Every little bit that helps us feel normal is great. You are right, one day the smoking, divorce and bc will all be behind you!
Have a great week ladies!
Ellie
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MIchelle You did it!!!!! I am so happy for you. I know what a relief and accomplishment that is to finish this stage of treatment.
malle
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Michelle, that is awesome!!!! Wish you were coming to the event!
Good news ladies, things are falling into place for the BC grappling event. Talking with a friend tomorrow to get the news channel at the event. Will make a speech for all of us on TV and get everyone to lay down for BC!!!!! Somewtimes I feel lose confidence as I know I can work it better but heard something really cool. A lady who helps run other promoters events told my right arm Annette that everyone is talking about the event. And she wishes she was coming but has to work. Awesome!!!!!
To all the ladies suffering right now or having a better time currently, I will have that site up soon. I am hiring help as I am tooo busy so the membership should be open soon. Pretty soon we will all have a chance with working with BCBK supporting BC in many ways. I know we feel helpless at times and really down, but working with BCBK will make you feel better!!! It has really made me feel better and has increase the size of my heart. In fact, supporting bc through walks or even with each other is awesome.
Now I just need to quit smoking, lol.
Best wishes to all,
Janet
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Janet, that event sounds so awesome and it sounds like you really are getting some good "buzz" around town. I want to see photos and videos and the whole thing. Too cool.
Michelle, I hope your se from the last round aren't too terrible. If they are rough, just remember, every day more and more of those toxins are leaving your body and it will only get better every day from here on out. You did great! You and your family should be very proud of you, as I am sure they are!
Nancy, I miss you. Get home safe and soon, ok?
Love to all.....time for my morning smoke....ugh.......lol
Ellie
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Hi Girlfriends-
I only have a minute but I wanted to say hi as I slowly start getting back into things. I thank you all SO VERY much for your love and support over my Dad's passing. It doesn't feel real and seeing my Mom in a general state of shock is so upsetting. But- I've gone through some really tough times even before BC. This BC "journey" has truly made me understand that time is the only thing that will ease the pain. I find myself being thankful at the end of each day that it has passed! Mentioned this to Mom today and I THINK she agrees.
ANYWHOOO- Janet, you are really special! It is so obvious that you are a hard worker and your passion toward this event is so inspiring!! I wish, oh how I wish I could be there. I got the impression from FB that Nancy and Nadine are going? How great is that?
Michelle- CONGRATULATIONS!!! Chemo is now but a BAD memory. I know as you recover from your last tx, you'll always have that in your mind. You've done so beautifully through all of this. I know that like all us chemo gals, you had to have your moments of feeling anything but strong. But you too, are such an inspiration!
Ellie- you are so solid on this thread and in life it seems! You may be missing Wisc., but I am so jealous of you in Florida as the cold whether approaches. I dream of a life like yours! Your new job sounds great and seems you are enjoying it...getting good things as you truly deserve.
Mallme- Thanks for always taking the time to check in. I really love hearing about you and all of us trying to move on from a life dominated by BC.
CAN"T WAIT for Pantufus to get her butt back on here and FB!! Seems we all suffer from her absence! If she doesn't cheer us all up, nobody will! I am so jealous of you girls meeting her in person in Colo. Maybe you can video some of it for us?
Gotta go. But will be back soon. Thanks again everyone.
xoEllen
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Hi dear fiends!
I missed all of you so much! Albion was cold and miserable. What's it like on Long Island Irene?
I am thinking of you Michelle and fishwoman (sounds like a superhero, doesn't it?) in your warmer climes. Proud of you Michelle for hanging in there, congratulations! Fishwoman, I can tell from fb that you really enjoy the children when they come to the museum. I am praying for your strength to hold out those last six hours and be nicotine free. I wish that for everyone.
It was so good to hear from you, Denise. Sorry chemo is putting you through the ringer. I had to stop after my second round put me in the hospital. I had 16 transfusions. If you are anemic, your onc doesn't need to mess around. I think if they had given me the transfusion when it first appeared that I needed it, then things wouldn't have gotten so bad. Good luck to you and my thoughts are with you.
malle, your are our angel and God bless you. You are always there when one of us needs you. You are truly special.
Zin! So glad your knockers have handles! Am ever excited about the tournament. Nicotine is such a cruel master pretending to be our friend but hurting us underneath. I still crave it and my ds had to give me a real tongue lashing because I wanted to smoke on the way home from NY. It hurt but was what I needed at the time. How short my memory is that I was fighting for my life just a few months ago. My dearest wish is that we all succeed in this our second battle.
nobleanna, missing you and hope you are okay. mb sure do miss and worry about you too. I'll have to think of one of my strange but true stories. No Irene, I didn't say I was going to tell a story about the time I got some strange! Geesh!
Love you all and sure did and do miss you! Warm fuzzies to everyone!
Nancy, Pat, Susan
P.S. Hey English! (formerly Nads), the girls are right. We need one of your stories too. Come on, lets be having you!
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Hi Ladies,
So excited about this event though my terrible memory stresses me. A lot more is involved than did I remember to pack my toothbrush, lol. I look forward to seeing Nadine and Nancy at the event, my only regret is not enough time with you two. I wish all of you were coming but this is just the beginning and hopefully one or more of you will be at the future events. Working on a couple more stars trying to get BCBK up before the event as I want people to have a place to go when they see us on the news.
Fifish, love seeing your smiling face!!!! We have to start planning a Vegas trip sometime next year when most of us has recovered. Hopefully we have more newbies by then and if they can't amke that trip, will there will be more!
Malleme, so wish you were coming to the event! People could really use your supportive heart. Will have to keep future event in mind.
Denise, hope you are doing well. Drop in a line, miss your posts.
REKoz, I so know about that time deal, I am waiting for some of my former energy and motive to come back. I wish you and your family well as I know it will take some time to process your loss. My heart goes out to you and I hope in the future you can make the events when you are feeling better.
Michelle, sorry you couldn't make it, but you got through the worse of it and will be ready next time. Miss your laugh, call me sometime!
Pantufas, it is QUIET here without you. You are really missed when you are gone, as you have a way of reaching out to all and adding some zest to your post.
Nadine, my little farmer addict, lol. You are going to pass me soon. Will try to hit you up soon as I miss spending time with you too.
Nobleanna, I am sending you my most postive thoughts. I know it has been tough for you but reach out, even though it is hard because you will feel better. You are loved here!!!
Cleo, hoping you having some sunshine days. Miss you too, you haven't posted in sooooooooooo long. Sending you kisses!
Candie, you are a true warrior. I wish I had some of your strength. Wishing you well on your tests and I hope it comes back good for you.
I may of forgotten some of you and I am sorry, memory is overloaded at this time. Love to all and keeping working on those cigs!!!
Love,
Janet0 -
Happy oogalie boogalies! It's that month again! DS and I had our share of spooks painting the farmhouse in NY. I mean for real! There is no way I would spend Halloween in that house and we were both glad to be in our own beds. The house is over 100 years old and gorgeous but you couldn't give it to me. It has sealed up doors to nowhere and one really spooky cubbyhole upstairs. Brrrr! Gives me chills just to think about it.
You are on my mind o2b, still praying for you and Bailey and your whole family. Also thinking of the rest of you girls. Yes Irene! I include you as a girl. How kind of me. SHUT UP Pat! I would love to come and visit you and would promise to keep Pat at home!
ZinZin! Can't wait to see you and English for real! I am so excited! Fishwoman just posted a hilarious dead pic. Her dog even laid down for it! This is on facebook ladies. Got to come and join us! Need some new farming neighbors!
Love to all,
Nancy, impertinent Pat, Susan
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Hi Ladies, I am soooooo exhausted and I forgot to get my prescription filled for my antidepressants for about 4-5 days. I am sitting here now crying on my computer and working it. So much to do and so much to worry about that I am not even thinking about quit smoking. It is usually stressful the last 2 weeks before the event, so looking forward to after the event when I can relax for a few days. And will try to make another quit date.
Thanks Fifish, you have cheered me up so much and gave me a great laugh, it deserves a Fifish laugh. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!. Awesome dead pic and Facebook and you have given energy to keep working it as it is so hard to work it with everything that is going on. Thank you soo much for your support and all the rest of you too just by being here or on facebook.
Pantufas I can't wait to you are here. That also means I am almost done with the hard part of work and look forward to having fun with you all after the event. Don't get me wrong, the events can be really fun to do and the day goes by really fast for me. If I survive the growing competition in the tournament biz, I will have a staff who will take a alot of headache away from me. Wish I was there with you at the haunted house!
All of you are on my mind and I keep telling myself that it will work at one day, just take some hard work and a little more pushing from going through BC too. But we will all pull out one day! Good luck all and my heart is with you!
Hugs,
Janet
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Janzin you hang in there and get your medicine.
I have been so busy and then my cousin up and died from a blood clot. shocked the hell out of everyone. She was such a giving person she actually gave her organs and her tissue and skin. We had never heard of that .. skin and tissue donation but I guess for burn victims they need skin. Her corneas were successfully transplanted so far ....already placed in a person who needed them. KInd of unbelieveable. I have a pretty busy week but I wanted to wish you all a great week.
Janzin I pray you get some energy and stop beating yourself up your doing great.Pantufas glad you left he Halloween House. great to have ya back.
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Malleme, I am so sorry to hear that. So much sadness out there. I know that we can't stop it but I wished that there was something else I could do besides saying I am sorry etc. I was talking to my father recently and he is in his 80's, and he told me that at his age, a lot of loved ones were dying around him all the time. In fact my parents neighbor had a heart attack the first night they visit me. I do wish you well and I am sending you hugs. Never heard of skin donation, wow, what will they come up with next. I could a new brain right now, will try not to beat myself up.
It is crazy with the stress before these events. Up and down from one minute crying because I am so tired, other times I self doubt myself, then I am full of motivation, next I am angry telling myself I will not give up. I will not fail. Even if I am a middle age women in a young man world, I can do this. Even after all this hard work next year, I have more competition from other promoters coming to Denver next year, and AHAHAHAHAHAH! Can I hang with them??? Then I think I have done well so far, just got to get those creative juices flowing. Anyways ladies, I found a programer so with luck, our site should be up soon. Just finished the BCBK banner for the event. I am sorry that a lot of you can't make it but we will take pictures to share the event with you all.
This week I have 2 live radio shows to do and I am nervous as I hate public speaking. Hate being on TV and also the radio. But I keep thinking about all of you and what this event is about so I am digging deep for courage, lol. I was always the shy kid in school, never raising my hands. Tried out for a play once and ran off during the middle of it. I told Nadine and Nancy that if I faint on TV, that could be the first dead pic of the day.
Know you all are busy but we can't let this thread die. There may be someone who needs our support and we may need to come back for more. Brain dead, can't think no more.
Love and stuff,
Janet
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