Exchange City
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Deborah,
I have never been compared to Ariel and Cinderella before! LOL.
Just for an update, I went bra shopping and am feeling better about the new girls. I bought 3 pretty bras, in a size C. I almost think the anesthesia contributes to the blues after surgery, as it happened both times.
Lovemyself, your story sounds so familiar. I also had to have check ups every 6 months for years, mamo and sonogram then MRI's. They also started to focus on one side when I could feel lumps on the other. It was very frustrating.
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LAURA:
I just saw your pics. I want, I want, I want...That's exactly what I want. You look great. Now if I can get the same thing after my rads, I'm there!! I taking a copy of your picture to doctor with me..
Love em. JUDY
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((Love myself)) Thank you your story is one that surely isn't in the statistics. I had left breast issues in 06, mammogram and ductogram, radiologist stated good to go. In 2008 ( I just turned 52) had cluster calcifications in 3 different spots in the right breast. The did the computer guided biopsy since the largest mass was close to the chest wall. This was DCIS with microinvasion. The left breast was fine. I was all geared for lumpectomy and mammosite radiation when the surgeon told me that he highly advised against this because of the 2 other areas that were not biopsied and were most likely DCIS too. I went and got 2 more opinions, from PCP who also is a BC survivor (lumpectomy) same surgeon. Both Dr.s and a friend that just had a lumpectomy with same surgeon stated he will always save the breast when he can, but saving a life is more important than a breast. I do know that DCIS doesn't spread to the other breast so hope that the mx was the end of my BC story. Because I had the mx, didn't need rads or chemo, 0 lymph node involvement, that was the UP side of having the mx.
What do you think of Canadian insurance? As you know in the states there is a big push for a nationalized health plan. They say you can keep your private insurance, but there is a clause in the bill that states if you ever go off of your private insurance that you must go on the national health plan. I never want to be dependent on the the government for my health decisions, so was wondering how you felt about the Canadian version. We haven't done well with Medicare or Medicaid. It works, just that costs are out of control. Jan
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Mooma, FIRNI, OncRN and KBram, You will be in my thoughts this week, hope all goes well and let us know the outcome if you don't mind. Thanks Jan
DV8Q Check in if you can, I will PM you. Jan
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Jan, remind me, did you have a lift of the healthy breast? Did you have augmentation of the healthy breast as well? Did they reposition the areola complex? It sounds as though you are happy with the symmetry?....I have not heard you say otherwise. No family history of BC?
Boy, let me tell you, nobody better mess with my medical insurance. I like it just the way it is, thank you very much!!! We private pay for health coverage and it is enormously expensive, but worth it - especially since my cancer diagnosis.
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DITTO Deborah... we pay... but it is GREAT for me.. especially now. Back off my private insurance!
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Yes, I am tiny. I never noticed that until this cancer journey. I never measured myself and never looked in the mirror naked but now I do, zillion times a day. Going back to work can help stopping this obsession...
Hi Jan,
It is a very complex and sensitive topic whether a national health insurance is a good idea. There are a lot of pros and cons for either systems. We do complain a lot about wait time and doctors shortage. As the cost of health care keeps increasing, we wonder how this system can sustain. However, as a cancer patient, dealing with a complex health problem and employment, it is wonderful to just focusing on the cure and healing but not the money. I can get the treatment that I need without worrying about anything. The doctors provide me choices based on my needs not affordability. If I need physical therapy, I will get it as long as I need. I haven't paid one cent for my treatment (I did pay for parking). It doesn't cover medication and mastectomy bra. For prothesis, it is partially covered. I am lucky that my work insurance covers almost everything that the government doesn't. For this family insurance health plan from my employment, I pay $40 a month. No deductable for anything. I am entitiled to have many days of full pay sick leaves. Yes, I have a wonderful job here, can't complain. For people who don't have pay sick leave, they can apply for sick benefits from governent for probably 20 weeks if I am not wrong. That is an EI which is about 55% of your salary. That means everything is easy. Elective and non urgent procedures have a long wait but not for cancer patients. I am a social worker working in the hospital and I am really glad that everyone has the same access to health care. The system has tons of problems but I would like to see my patients are not denied from the best medical care just because they can't pay. However, we don't have the luxury to "shop for doctors". Before my diagnosis was confirmed and waiting for the doctor's appointment for a week, many people asked me to seek for second opinion. It was funny because I didn't get my first opinion yet. There was some wait (but not too long) for every step. I got to be very patient to be a patient.
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Hmmm...I have several Canadian coworkers so we talk about this topic often. I have no answer, but do know that I work at a medical school, and still had to pay enough out of pocket that I had to refinance my car to pay medical bills, which is now preventing me from buying the house I'm living in, so I have to move. I feel trapped in my job, although I enjoy it, but fear moving to another job or returning to school for a graduate degree because I'm scared of losing my insurance. Dreams I had for myself and children, I'm not sure I can do now, for fear of losing insurance. My insurance company has been amazing, no questions about anything, they've paid everything without hesitation, and I'm so grateful, but I don't think I should have to pay 9 1/2 years for a Toyota Corolla, and lose the opportunity to buy a house because I got bc, feels like as the rest of the world moves forward, I struggle to keep my head above water. If it comes back, I don't know what I'll do, but glad that I live in Oregon, we can make choices if we have to. I have no family to turn to for financial help--and I think I'm lucky compared to so many others. I don't think it is OK that there are uninsured people in the US, but I have no answers about how to change things. Interesting piece on NPR this morning, a woman who had insurance Blue Cross/Blue Shield was diagnosed with aggressive Her2+ bc, she was scheduled for a BLM and a few days before, the insurance company dropped her because she didn't mention she had dermatitis--her dermatologist pleaded with the insurance company, saying --it was acne, nothing to do with pre-existing bc--it was heart breaking to hear her testimony to congress. That isn't OK in my world, I will never forget her voice. Once her insurance was canceled the hospital demanded a 30K deposit, she of course didn't have the money.
I don't have the answers, but I don't sleep well at night knowing how fortunate I've been through this while other women have not. I believe both education and health care are a right if we want to have a healthy, educated, thriving country. I have the view that we are only as strong as our weakest link. I hope nobody gets too angry with me for being so far off topic and for my opinions.
Hugs,
Karen
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((Deborah)) I would have had a lift on the "good" side if needed, but after he put in the "equalizer" I didn't need the lift. So That breast is really firm and the mx side is nice and soft. My grandmother had cancer around age 65 and so did my mother, she was so obese that she never sought treatment and subsequently passed away 2 weeks after her 65th birthday of heart disease. I have no idea what types of cancer that they had, but I do believe that my grandmother died of some sort of cancer back around 1982.
There is so much controversy about nationalized health insurance and the I think some of the middle gate keepers actually cost a lot to act as the gatekeepers. If the Drs could get reimbursement directly from the insurance company that may help. It would also help if hospitals bill correctly. My bill for the mx was $51,000, ins paid 15,000. The bill for the exchange was $39,000 (out patient) and I don't know what ins has paid. I have yet to receive a bill from the hospital, I had to go get copies so I could see all the errors that made and wasted expense. Hundreds of dollars for a CAD pump with Morphine, I can't take Morphine, that was well known before surgery. If patients were allowed to see the bills, there would be fewer billing errors and items added to pad the bill. I was charged for 2 Alloderms and 2 tissue expanders this was an $11,000 mistake. I only used one of each. Jan
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Oh, and it is people like Karen and situations like hers where we absolutely need some controls regarding out of pocket spending for those who DO have health insurance. No one should be financially bankrupted or have their dreams for a home and a life beyond cancer robbed because they are overwhelmed by medical bills. I have Kaiser Permanente - an HMO - and likely a "model" for a new healthcare reform. My out of pocket has been minimal - I would say less than $1,000 with all of my co-pays thus far.
There are some negatives with managed healthcare...I don't have the option of going to the top rated physicians out there and I have to search for the best and brightest within my Kaiser network. There have been times when it has been frustrating [I am a 30 year Kaiser member] over the years and I have paid out of pocket for outside specialists over the years, because it was not covered by Kaiser. There are a number of women on these boards who have Kaiser and are just frustrated and angry beyond belief, because they cannot obtain some of the microsurgeries they desire. This is another "pitfall" of the system. If I had wanted a DIEP and had been a candidate for same, I do not know that I would have had the successful result those who go to NOLA or to UCLA or o tother top notch microvascular surgeons are getting. Kaiser has some DIEP docs - it is relatively new to Kaiser - but because they do, my only recourse would be to have this done through Kaiser. So, by God's grace, I fit into the right slot with my breast reconstruction - in the right state and the right city to have access to Kaiser's best and brightest for expander-based reconstruction. I truly hope something happens for good and for the benefit of everyone. We need healthcare reform. I just do not think what is being planned is the answer though. So many changes need to take place. I pray it happens in my lifetime.
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Hi fabulous ones,
Just a check-in. Remember me? It's been 8.5 weeks since my original bilat mx and expander placements. I was originally filled to 260cc on both sides. Unfortunately the side that had radiation got necrotic, creepy, yucky - so deflation (to 150cc), debridement and new incision sewed up two weeks ago. I'll post a new pic next weekend on Timtam's site. My doc says it is looking better, but I can't quite help but see some of the "yellowish" ooze (skin-like, not like pus) around the incision like last time. My doc has me putting silvadine on it and, if I am healed in two weeks (looks doubtful) THEN we will start expansion.
I feel like a child that just can't keep up - the one who can't walk behind the others in a straight line - book bag too heavy, shoes to clunky, swaying off to the side....behind all the cool kids. Ah well. Yes, those are the feelings, but I still, oddly, have great love for my little off-kilter self. It's like I've experienced so much with the cancers and the surgeries and radiation over the years - despite my awkward way of healing with surges forward and back -- I have fierce and protective love for...... me.
And the reality is.... I was never one of the really cool kids, with or without breasts!
!Sending humor and good wishes to all you beautiful women,
geena
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EEK....Jan....everyone is going to want to know what an "equalizer" is and where to get one!!!!
What implant and what size did you get for the healthy breast? Was it an expandable?
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wabiwoman,
What a great description. It reminded me of sitting in the parking lot watching my daughter at preschool, always trailing way behind the others, never quite being able to keep up and not really appearing to care. I on the other hand, sat fighting the tears as I watched my baby struggle. Now I will be bringing her to college in a few weeks and it brings me back to those feelings of hoping she will be ok, emotionally.
Hugs to you and your struggles. You are one of the cool kids here! Your strength, courage and humor are inspiring!
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Geena, I always thought you were cooler than me! We ladies all share something special with the struggles we are going through, and it created a certain bond with all of us that only we can understand, so I think that makes us all pretty cool! We're kicking BC Butt!!!!!
Deen
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Geena, I'm with Deen, you write beautifully and display amazing patience, I've always thought you were cool from the day you showed up!
Jan and Deborah--Equalizer, sounds like a television show, I can't wait to hear what it really is.
Dani42--My oldest is leaving in two weeks for LA (Deborah keep good thoughts for him). I remember the day he started Kindergarten, I walked him to school and cried so hard on the way home I almost couldn't get any air. I was worried how the world would treat him. Off to LA, luckily his dad is there, but, still I hope the world is kind to him, he is a gentle soul. We've done a good job if they fly away, always knowing we will be here for them if needed.
Back to girls. My non cancer breast is really low, so the step off/down, I never get it right is more and more pronounced. I sleep in a tight sports bra and wear a bra all the time, but I'm getting worried that the breast lift is now becoming something I won't be able to avoid.
Take care ladies.
Karen
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Geena...This has been a very emotional night for me...my exchange is tomorrow and I'm feeling so much anxiety. Nothing like the night before my mx. This is relating more to the outcome after all these months of waiting. Your post put me in the right perspective and I am so grateful for that! What will be, will be and no matter what will be, I will be coming out me...no different except for the new found strength I have. Thank you so much for your little story...you probably had no idea how much it could touch lives.
txbadboob....the picture is in the right place now!! LOL Thanks!
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GEENA.. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you are here visiting with us again.. and put your BEAUTIFUL face back on!!! Wahoooooooooooooooooooo You are POPULAR here girl.. 'cause we are ALL IN THE SAME "CROWD".. LOVE LOVE LOVE to YOU!
Mooma (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) Tomorrow is a big day. I really had to tell myself that no matter what... I was GREAT! I had spent a lot of time, like you, picturing the outcome, and was really excited. THEN , the night before I thought.. this is it.. what if it is not what I hoped.. or "thought"... so... I just let go all expectations and turned my thoughts to GETTING MY TE OUT... and that is what was going to be better!
GOOD LUCK TO ALL LADIES doing exchange and ALL surgeries this week. No matter what.. you are beautiful... let us know how you do...
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Geena, I've always thought of you as one of the cool kids!! You are an incredibly strong person to have endured all that you have.Keep on walking the walk and talking the talk! My sister has had many problems with her breast cancer journey. Some of your story reminds me of her. I wish I could get her to join these boards. Tomorrow she is having yet another surgery. She is having a reduction on her healthy side, and they are opening up her incision on the mx side to irrigate as it has been chronically infected since her mx last October.
Mooma, My husband keeps asking me why I am so nervous about my upcoming exchange. He keeps reminding me of how much I hate my expanders and for months all I talked about was getting them out. I'm trying to focus on that.
Kew as I've said to dani, my oldest just finished her first year of college. Leaving her there was the hardest thing I've ever done. But, she blossomed into such a beautiful young woman while she was gone for a year. It's a beautiful thing. It's been great having her home over the summer, and I already feel sad thinking about her leaving again in a month. Now, if I could just pack up my 15 year old son and send him to college, that's a different story....jk
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mooma - sending happy vibes your way
....... you will do fine and get all that you are expecting....... I am so happy your day has finely got here...... let us know how you are doing as soon as you can.Melissa
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Good Luck and happy thoughts to all of you having surgeries this week! YOU GO GIRLS!!!!
HUGS, Dawn
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Mooma,
I was an emotional wreck before my exchange too but figured anything had to be better than the tissue expanders and it is! This is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow after a horrific storm. You are one step closer to moving away from this as a part of your daily life.
The surgery is a breeze, the pain is minimal and the healing is quick. It has been an honor to share this journey. I pray for you to have strength and peace and for God to guide your surgeon tomorrow.
Firni, I will say the same prayer for you.
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Ladies,
I am really not savvy with the computer,,,,I use one at work but it is for charting....I have tried 3 times....over an hour to post pictures on the picture board w/o success....YES...I read the directions but it keeps sayin to large.....please help whomever is knowlegable....you can PM me so not to clog the board....THANK YOU.
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Mooma, good luck with your surgery tomorrow. Your feelings of anxiety and apprehension are so normal. We all went in a little afraid of what we'd come out with. I pray the results are everything you hope for!!!
Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers for my surgery tomorrow. I don't have the anxiety that I had before the exchange surgery. The revision should be a breeze. At least this time I'll have one good arm to use afterward!
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To all of the ladies undergoing exchange or other surgery this week, peace be with you. I was more nervous over the exchange as well. The reality with the TE in, I thought about the boob all day long because it irritated me. I don't think of the foob except when I need to! My DH loves me and the new body! So here's a toast to you this coming week! Cheers.
((Deborah)) I agree with you about Karens situation. I think we need healthcare vouchers (education too) and then we can choose whatever insurance we want and can afford. My girlfriends husband works for the IRS and loves their insurance, they have the same as Congress, but can choose their own providers, will that be available to all who reside in the US, citizens and non citizens? I think we should be able to buy insurance from an out of state company if we want to. There needs to be healthy competition and by limiting the healthcare providers to a single payer (the govenrment) then we remove incentive to do better. All I know is that healthcare is in a MESS.
((Geena)) You are beautiful! You are a bright star and I want you to be better! Thinking of you and want the incision to heal!
OK, folks, the EQUALIZER is the smaller implant (275cc) put in my healthy breast to match what the size of the TE and eventual mx side implant 500cc. My natural breasts were about 250 to 275 cc, now both are about 500 cc with the smaller "equalizer" implant on left side for symmetry. Insurance must cover symmetry surgery. Jan
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GEENA - I was that little girl you described so poignantly. Sometimes, as an adult, I still feel just that very same way!!!
Thoughts and prayers going out to Firni and mooma this morning...
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Wow - lots to catch up with after my busy weekend that kept me from the computer! Healthcare is a big issue around our house, since my dh is a doc. Believe me, you don't want to be at our dinner table conversations!
whippetmom - yep, you're right - tiny ribcage too - just like dani and lovemyself. Guess we need to start a SuperTiny Ta Tas club!! (I look a bit freakier, though, 'cause I'm taller (5'7")........ LOL
dani42 -glad you're liking the girls more. Like you mentioned before, I think I'm most nervous about the anesthesia, though. I had no trouble after my SNB, but the next week when I had my bmx I had horrible (20+hours) nausea. The docs think it was the demerol in my pca pump, though. I just NEVER want to endure that again!
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Val: I am going to be in Denton in late October for my niece's wedding. I know you are in the north area of Texas - how close to Denton?
misty: Did you find someone to help you resize the pictures? If not, PM me and I can walk you through it. Look at sandysunshine's sticky on how to resize pictures.
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Hi sweetie pies:
It will get better. I went for my post op after exchange and the foob was very bruised and hamburger bunny. I thought it'd never "fluff" up. It did, but it took about 3 months. Every day brought better and better changes, tho they were tiny.
I forgot who had mentioned the bruising, but I had really bad bruising and very very thin skin. It's fine now. I also had huge scars from the "patch" job I got when the skin broke down. They have completely faded. I did and still do use Palmers' cocoa butter cream on the foob.
I also thought mine'd be flattish forever. Nope! About 6 months into post exchange, up it bounded and assumed a beautiful shape at about the same time the ribcage hug left. I think it all has alot to do with your muscles relaxing.
It will happen. Talk to your PS> Call and schedule an appt. if you need to, but be sure to mention any and all concerns. These are your new girls.
Linda!!!!!!!!!!!! NIPS!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Laura, you little peeker, you. I did too.
love my ladybugs on here.
xoxox
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Yes, Annie brought up a very important factor. Those TE's can really compress the ribcage during the expansion process which has much to do with the appearance of your implants after the exchange. I researched this a few months ago and in nearly all cases where the ribcage is compressed or compromised, this compression subsequently resolves - sometimes up to a year post-exchange.
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Annie, thanks for the positive fluffing comments.
I went back to work today and thought the "girls" knew it was a "big" day. They didn't look bad at all but I was wearing a Warner lightly padded bra to help them along. Just as I expected, everyone's eyes went to the boobs. They tried hard not to look but I would catch them glancing. Finally, I said "its ok to look". My one friend burst out: "Good cause I am and they look great!" Once it was out in the open, everyone was very supportive and knew they didn't need to be careful with me. Plus, I got lots of presents! Yeah!
Life is on the mend!
Can't wait to hear how today's surgeries went and sending happy thoughts for the rest that are going this week.
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