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  • KEW
    KEW Member Posts: 450
    edited September 2009

    ((((Val-))))  Diane (Dani) brought up a good point.  I did not get  my implant cards when I left the hospital, had to get one later and use a sharpie to add implant information PS gave me from his op report.  I got my cards for the TEs.  Looking forward to hearing how things go!

    The race was good for Lucas, he as been a great kid, helpful, loving, responsible, but kept his emotions in.  I had him in a group for kids at his school whose parents had cancer which helped, but I think today it all came out.  This was our 5th RFTC, and it hit very close to home for him.

    ((((Cheri,)))) I plan on running next year, just got a brand new pair of Asic Nimbus--taking it seriously.

    I had a ton of emotion in the last few days about participating, but for some reason, I ended up being less emotional at this one than I have been in the past, aside from seeing Janet and talking with Lucas. I was calm and really enjoyed it.

    ((((Diane)))thank you for the kind words. I hope you are OK, let us know what your doc says.

    (((((Laura))))))I thought about you all day. You will see a picture of our backs that has our in "Celebration of the TaTa Sisterhood"  We each filled it out that way separately!

    Gee maybe next year the TaTa Sisterhood could come to Portland for the RFTC, great food, and many other fun things! Great micro brews for those who drink ( I don't, but I know we have great beer) Beaches, hikes, many fun theaters, lots of good live music...just thought I'd put it out there.... 

    ((((Kathie)))) 

    Hugs--Karen 

  • Jan1
    Jan1 Member Posts: 281
    edited September 2009

    Janet and Karen,  Your posts at your meeting got my emotions going.  The bonds formed here are not contingent on a physical meeting, but it is so GOOD when it happens.  It brought that proverb back to mind when I read your story today.  "Let there be such a closeness among sister's that when one cries, the others shall taste salt"  

    ((Val))  I will be thinking of you tomorrow and this is a great day of joy for you.  I can't wait to hear from you to know that you are well and that everything went well.  

    ((cejjmom))  It will be Wednesday for you and I will be thinking of you on your day, post back and let us know how you are.

    ((greytmom))  Friday is the day for you, again, write in and let everyone know how you are.

    ((Renee))  Your generous offer to tattoo's to the sisters here is so kind.  The support of one sister to another is such a gift. here.

    To Aitman, I had a similar feeling last night, I also sent you a PM.   My sister in law coordinated our family together to meet for dinner, it was to celebrate her mother (my MIL) and I "beating" BC.  After dinner we met at the high school to walk in RFTC and see the lumenaria's she made.  Mine said "survivor" on it with a butterfly to reflect the metamorphasis of my past year.  I had conflicted emotions over the fact that hundreds of lumenaria's had  "In memory" written on them and I was alive to see one made for me.   I thought I was over the emotional part of this process.  (Yvonne, you got it so right!) The emotions came forth, I knelt down and just sobbed, for those that have died, for those that have paid the price to live.  Sisters, it doesn't matter what road we have had to take to get here, we have arrived here and the support that is shared is priceless. 

    Jan

  • FACECRAFTER
    FACECRAFTER Member Posts: 433
    edited September 2009
    (((Jan)))   Your story is touching.  I' am sure I would have done the same.  But we are survivors and we do have each other.  That is the real blessing.  The Ta Ta Sisterhood is here, listening, helping and sharing.. It is unbelieveable, and it is only because of the 'miracle' of the internet that we can all be so connected.  It is amazing and wonderful.   JUDY
  • Jan1
    Jan1 Member Posts: 281
    edited September 2009

    ((Judy))   I thought of you when I read Karen and Janets post.  March cannot come fast enough for me, I cannot wait to see your face.  BTW  I hope you are "filling" well today!  Let me know how it goes.

    Val, thinking of you, Hugs.  Jan

  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 916
    edited September 2009

    Hi ladies:

    As a two timer, I can tell you uncategorically, that YES, it does become OK with time.  Notice I said OK> but you have to choose your thoughts on how you will go forward with this.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Alitman))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0

    I would suspect, as with any anniversary of something traumatic as losing your mom, that you'd be feeling sad.  You need her now more than ever.  Of course you feel this way!!! And I know your mom will hear you if you just talk to her either in your heart or out loud.  Her physical presence may not be with you, but for sure, you have a strong angel looking out for now.  Her love is always here for you.  My condolences and again (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((xoxo)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Yvonne, as usual you put the words for how we all feel perfectly.  If I could add something, it is this;

    We will not "get over" it.  But just like everything in life, time will heal it.  And you can move on from it.  In a year or so, it does become more like something that happened to you, but not what you are about anymore.  I am being very blunt here, but it will move away from you if you let it.

    Anyone here, we all know how we feel.  And yes, we all fake it in the outside world.  Thank god for this place. 

    xoxoxoxo

  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 916
    edited September 2009

    Jan:

    I am so moved by that ........."Let there be such a closeness among sister's that when one cries, the others shall taste salt"

    and the sisters who were in the race, and all the love that us "war vets" have among us.

    It is the biggest source of strength to us. 

    Love to all xoxoxoxoxo Ta Tas. (and Laura, yes, we are the Ta Ta Tinys!) :)

  • Annabella58
    Annabella58 Member Posts: 916
    edited September 2009

    ...and Laura, as tinys' with big hoots, we become weebles.  Little people that wobble but don't fall down.  This would be due to the ginormous hooters and height challenge, as well as being tough.

    We may be little, but oh, are we tough.  The jack Russells of the foobie world.

    xoxoxo

  • whippetmom
    whippetmom Member Posts: 6,028
    edited September 2009

    I cannot wait to hear from Val today!

    Karen and Jazzy....So exciting and encouraging to hear about your meeting this past weekend and about the race....

    Dani - So excited that you have an appt. with a new PS....cannot wait to hear what she has to say....

  • NVDiane
    NVDiane Member Posts: 151
    edited September 2009

    Annie--I knew I was a Ta Ta Tiny, but a weeble?! That's a new one--I love it!  Although I'm not sure it fits me, despite my 5'2" height (or lack thereof). You see, I am what has earlier been called a "fluffy tiny".  Since all my extra weight settles to the bottom (ahem), I have a little more ballast to offset the ginormous hooters on top.

    I love those tough little Jack Russells though! Good role models.

  • KEW
    KEW Member Posts: 450
    edited September 2009

    (((Altiman))) I'm sorry for the lose of your mother.  I, too, lost mine to bc 23 years ago.  It is particularly hard to be experiencing our journeys without a mother to talk with--even if we are ourselves mothers.  I can assure you with time each anniversary of her passing will become less stinging, and that you will draw more strength from her.  Talk with her now.  Try and do something special on that day if you can, take the day off, plant a tree, do something you two would have enjoyed together.  That day became easier for me in some ways because my first child, was born two years later, on the same day my mother died.  I celebrate life and reflect on the passing of it on November 2.  Of course I miss her, but it does become  easier.

    I admire your courage to have a prophy, frankly I wish I had the courage to do a prophy BLM, but I didn't. I feel like a coward, like I knew this train was heading in my direction, and I did nothing to stop it.  I admire you very much.

    It will get better and easier, yet I think at times we are all fraudulent in our interactions with the outside world.  We put on a happy, I'm strong, and I can do anything face, when inside we are often scared and uncertain, or angry and tired. I'm almost a year out of my first surgery, and have only one person in my life, besides the Sisters here, who I truly show my real self too.  I hope with time I will conceal myself less.

    I've meet women 10, 20, and 33 years out who say sometimes they forget they ever had bc.  I look forward to being one of those women, I hope we all become those women.

    Your surgery date really isn't that long ago, physically it takes time for our bodies to deal with the trauma of BLM, and anesthesia.  The rule of thumb I've come up with is that it will take a year after the last surgery to feel physically and emotionally like the new me.  I don't count on ever feeling like the old me, but don't think that is a bad thing.  I know a year sounds like a long time, but it was a way to "trick" myself into not having expectations of feeling great sooner than I'm able.  It took a great deal of pressure off of me, and I stopped beating myself up for being and feeling different that before the surgery. I'm trying to enjoy getting to know the new me, she is way more mellow than the old me, and that is a very good thing.

    You have this site to share your feelings, we are all here for you.

    Love-Karen 

  • samiam40
    samiam40 Member Posts: 93
    edited September 2009

    Hello all you Exchange Divas. 

    Ok, so I am now almost two weeks out from my exchange, am having a bit of an issue and am hoping you can alleviate my anxiety.  The implants seem to be settling in a bit, and except for some dog ears, are looking decent.  BUT, while the left one is beautifully smooth all the way across the top, I can feel a hard point on the upper inner corner of the right one--almost as if the implant were square and I am feeling the corner.  Since I know breast implants are not square, what the heck am I feeling?

    It is literally driving me nuts.  I keep running my finger over the hard edge thinking oh, God, please don't make me go through another operation.  I really don't want to have to do a redo.

  • Jan1
    Jan1 Member Posts: 281
    edited September 2009

    Samiam,  Have you called the PS?   I only have 1 foob, but no corners.  This sounds like a fold in the implant if that is possible.  Jan

  • samiam40
    samiam40 Member Posts: 93
    edited September 2009

    Jan,

    No, I was just there last Wednesday for drain removal, showed up unannounced the next day and asked to have some steristrips replaced, and have an appt to see the Dr. in a week. I doubt they want to hear from me again right now, and if they did, I can guess they'd probably just say, give it time.

    My first thought was a fold or ridge too, but while that might make sense with an underinflated saline implant, that wouldn't make sense with a gummy implant would it?

  • Jan1
    Jan1 Member Posts: 281
    edited September 2009

    ((Samiam))  Goodness, I wouldn't think a gummy would do this, this sounds peculiar.  Call the PS, I don't care if you call everyday or go in everyday, that is their job.   I know that a good PS would rather reassure or diagnose a potential problem, rather than have you second guess that it is OK to wait for a regular appointment.  At least call and ask if a pointy thing is normal.   I don't think gummies are supposed to have a "corner" on it.  Let us know what the deal is after you call!

      Jan

  • my560sel
    my560sel Member Posts: 399
    edited September 2009

    I'm by far no expert, but corners does not sound right. Call your PS, peace of mind is everything!

    Terri

  • KEW
    KEW Member Posts: 450
    edited September 2009

    Sam--Call your PS, but I felt an "edge" more on my left side, my cancer side, and it really frightened me.  I noticed it a few weeks after surgery, when all the swelling was gone. My PS felt it and thought that it was chest wall, he and my BS talked and orderd an ultrasound and it was nothing but the demarkation of where my tissue was removed and where chest wall came togther, and it abuts my implant--maybe it is something like that.  Fingers crossed.

    Oh, and don't worry about how many times you call your doc, that is what they are there for.  I pop in every now and then with cupcakes for all my different doctors and their staff. I should make those cupcake Deborah and her sister made....

    Hugs,

    Karen 

  • Alitman
    Alitman Member Posts: 95
    edited September 2009

    Val - I am excited to hear how things went.  I am so very happy for you.

     (((((((((to everyone here))))))))))))  I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your thoughts and your own stories.  It makes me cry (again) but this time I know I am not crying alone.  All of you are the only support system I have and I am sooo very fortunate.  I will take the advice to do something special I would have done with my Mom when the day comes.  In the meantime, I will try to keep positive and look for the up side in all this.

  • dani42
    dani42 Member Posts: 206
    edited September 2009

    Samiam40,

    Here is my guess, it is the alloderm!  I have areas that are a bit misshapen an I am just assuming thats what it is. 

  • samiam40
    samiam40 Member Posts: 93
    edited September 2009

    Karen, Dani, Terry & Jan--thank you for your advice & support.  Dani--sadly, there is no alloderm, so that can't be it.  And Karen, I'm not worried that it is a tumor--it definitely feels like implant that is poking up through the skin. 

    The most logical explanation to me is that the implant has rotated or rippled or I'm getting capsular contraction.  Of course, this wouldn't be the end of the world, but I just can't face the thought of another operation right now.

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    {{{{Jan}}}} Thank you SO MUCH for giving us those words!  WOW!  So moving!

    Val we are waiting for your check in... I hope all is well and that you are resting well on pain meds.  :-)

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009
    The first HUG!KEW and JazzyFinish Line TOGETHER!
  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited September 2009

    Val... I hope you did really well today....(((HUGS)))

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited September 2009

    Ladies... I should have my Capsule repair and implant change .. and eyes finished... the end of Oct...I will post the exact date when she calls me back tomorrow. I could have had it done today.. but there was NO WAY I was going to do this 4 days before I get on a plane to Vegas..

    I swear.. my PS nurse.. is easy to talk to. She told me today that the 450's on me did look like a B cup and she is glad that I "needed" to fix the ripples . Now... here is the kicker.. and I want your opinion on this DEBORAH/ WHIPPETMOM...

    She told me.. that if the IMPLANT is big enough...for the pocket and skin... a silicone implant should not ripple. If the implant is BIGGER size... blankXblank... than the TE... there should never be rippling... She gave me a 5% chance... rare... She told me I got about 100cc to 150cc smaller than I needed....Anywho... I just thought I would ask you...

    I hope my story educates..

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    Hey Laura my capsule and new implant fix will be Oct 20th.  He thinks he might need to make the pocket bigger.

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    RFTC" mce_src="RFTC" alt="" border="" hspace="" vspace="" width="" height="" align="top" />

    This is a text..

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    RFTC

    First HUGS!

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    RFTC

    KEW and Jazzy

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited September 2009

    OMGosh... I WANT this picture.. Please send it to my email.... Wonderful!

  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009
    RFTC
  • Jazzygem
    Jazzygem Member Posts: 125
    edited September 2009

    RFTC

    Big Finish TOGETHER!!  :-)