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Comments

  • whippetmom
    whippetmom Member Posts: 6,028
    edited April 2009

    Wanda.....

    Nothing wimpy about that question at all!!!  This is major surgery and I emphasize MAJOR, because we think we should be rebounding because we are out of pain.  But this is a traumatic insult to our bodies...an "invasive" procedure.  You can expect to be waxing and waning in your energy levels.  I think that we all experience a sort of sadness about all of this.  We try so hard to be up and positive, but sometimes we just go into a funk and it is okay to do so.  You will come out of this.  I have to say that my last fill gave me an emotional boost.  Not only did my expanders feel better, I just could see the foreshadowing of something good to come.

    On that other note you mentioned.  Whoo hoo baby, I am a HUGE stomach sleeper!  I NEVER used to take naps.  I hated taking naps!  But I just had a nice two hour nap today....so sleep deprivation is a very significant part of how you are feeling.  I am sleeping on my side since my exchange two weeks ago - which is a very definite improvement, let me tell you.  Frankly though, I sort of hope I do not revert to my stomach sleeping, primarily because I think it is much better for my back.  I also do not awake in the morning with those dreaded pillow crease marks on my face.  Hang in there.  I will keep you in my prayers...

    Deborah  

  • sheesh1961
    sheesh1961 Member Posts: 65
    edited April 2009

    Trudy and Deborah - I'm also a big-time stomach sleeper. After my daughter was born (many years ago - ha!) right after being thrilled with my new daughter I was SO excited to be able to sleep on my stomach!LOL I'm 6 months post-exchange, and I still can't sleep on my foobs just because the implants are too firm to be comfortable like that, but I put a small travel pillow under my ribcage (like right below my foobs), and I have a big king-size pillow that I kind of tuck under one side or the other while I'm on my stomach (I switch a lot during the night). That works really well for me. My fipple surgery is Thursday and I'm dreading having to go back to back or side sleeping for who knows how long! I'm going to be exhausted - yuck.

    Wanda - I think Trudy and Deborah said it all -- esp. what Trudy said about depression. It's probably just a low energy point, but please watch out for YOU.

    Sheila

  • NVDiane
    NVDiane Member Posts: 151
    edited April 2009

    Wanda - We are not wimps, none of us!  We have all been through hell and have come back, and we are entitled to our feelings.  We are entitled to feel moody, crabby, or depressed whenever we need to be, and to be in a funk whenever we need to be! This place is such a Godsend, because we can come here when we are hurting and find comfort.  I think my body will heal long before my emotions heal.  Once you have your exchange, you will feel better, because you won't feel such discomfort, and you should be able to get more sleep.  Until then, you could try what I do; I sleep with a teddy bear held to my chest, so if I roll the wrong way in the night, or start hurting, I can squeeze the teddy bear and I feel better (a pillow would work too). Hope this helps!

    Diane

  • fairy49
    fairy49 Member Posts: 536
    edited April 2009

    Wanda! You are so not a whimp!! No way!! we are all warriors here, total friggin warriors!!!! sorry kind of cused there! :) I am humbled constantly by all of the women on this board, we have all been through so much, give yourself permission to feel down if thats how you feel and never apologise it really is all about you right now.  Like our darling sisters say, if you feel like you are feeling funky more times than not, see your doctor. I believe in the power of xanax!! I take 1/2 a 0.25mg tab and it really helps, I have never been a pill popper, and I don't drink so sometimes I just need a little help and thats ok (damn I miss my wine!! LOL!!). I never thought I would get used to sleeping on my back, I have been a tummy sleeper my whole life, but now its 5 months out and I honestly don't think I could sleep on my tummy so weird! Plus as Deborah says, I have seen definate benefits to sleeping on my back, I have less wrinkles on my face and gravity seems to have made my face a little tighter yay!!! a nice little SE! I have gone onto my side a little since exchange but end up on my back!

    Anyhoo enough of my rambling just got home from work so a little hyped!! we had 5 brides this weekend, oh fun!!!

    Thanks for the prayers Laura that is awesome!

    love you guys!
    Lorraine ox

  • Estepp
    Estepp Member Posts: 2,966
    edited April 2009

    Wanda.. ditto to what all the ladies have said ! NO WIMP IN ANY OF US!

  • Peggio
    Peggio Member Posts: 105
    edited April 2009

    Hello Ladies -  I  haven't posted often but you are in my thoughts especially when you are going through setbacks.

    Wanda- I really hit a wall after about 3 weeks because I was so sick of  not being able to do everything I did before.  It has come back gradually though.

    However I have a bit of a setback that I posted somewhere but I'm going to post here also.  I am having the worst rib pain from my expanders. I can't sleep through the night and I can't take a deep breath.  It is wearing me down and I am not in the best mood because of it.  I had been to the point where I was pretty much pain free.  I am only filled to 325cc if you can believe it!

    Does anyone have any suggeations for relief? I am taking a pain pill at night to help sleep but during the day I can't do that because I have to drive with my kids in the car.  Did muscle relaxers help any one ?

    I would apperciate any input.- Peg

  • looper
    looper Member Posts: 61
    edited April 2009

    Hello Warriors!  I'm so glad I decided to check posts one more time tonight.  One of the reasons I haven't posted as much lately is depression, so I'm happy to see the subject discussed.

    tg33, Deborah, Sheila, Diane, Lorraine, Wanda, Peg, and any others who offered support--I thank you!  After the first few weeks, I've had much more of an issue with emotional pain than physical pain.  Lots of highs and lows and hissyfits for no reason at all.  Well, of course there are reasons,  but it's confusing to feel this way when we've been told everything is fine.

    I also have Xanax, 0.25 mg, which I take at night to help me de-stress and relax.  I've also been taking one very occasionally during the day if things get crazy and I feel out of control.  It's very helpful!

    I'm nearly 2 months post exchange and still seeing a marked difference in my implant to natural side, so anxious to see my PS and do my best to stand up for myself--I'm a little on the meek side when it comes to these things, but this thread has given me the knowledge and the courage to get what I need, so thank you for that too!

    For help in sleeping comfort, I recommend extra pillows, which you'll toss aside one by one, but then you'll know how many you really need.  I'm very particular about bed linens, so I use only the best pillowcases, washed in wonderful-smelling detergents and pressed to perfection--I honestly think it helps me sleep better!  We deserve all the pampering we can get, even if we have to do some of it ourselves!

    Suzie

  • Peggio
    Peggio Member Posts: 105
    edited April 2009

    Hi Suzie - I'm glad you decided to check back tonight too.  I think after awhile we feel better but it sometimes is a hard road to travel. When we get these setbacks it is frustrating. I love your idea of the pillowcases - I have never ironed my pillowcase, but I think I'm going to try it.

    Take Care - Peg 

  • looper
    looper Member Posts: 61
    edited April 2009

    Thanks, Peg.  Think I'll go right now and put on fresh pillowcases and read a bit, as I do every night, and get some good quality sleep!  Tomorrow's another hard-working day.

    Suzie

  • traceyz
    traceyz Member Posts: 98
    edited April 2009

    Laura,

    LMAO!!!! 6'2 ha ha ha ha ha!! My husband got a kick out of that! Hey I might be short but just remember I got a few inches on you sister!Wink I guess I am doing a pretty good job of acting like a tall woman in my profile pic! LOL

    Congrats on rads...its the final count down and I am glowing for you...no pun intended! LOLTongue out

    Luv ya!!

    Tracey

  • mizbabygirl4
    mizbabygirl4 Member Posts: 42
    edited April 2009

    Hi Ladies,

    I had my first mastectomy in July, the second in November (at which time implant reconstruction was started), and my exchange almost two weeks ago. Through this whole process, I have had periods where I feel pretty good and can focus on things other than BC all the time, with lots of energy. And then, out of the blue, I lose that solid connection to the outside world, start thinking about BC all the time, and turn inward (and sleep a lot more, too). I think this road to recovery is cyclic in many women--not just one long continuous improvement--especially when you are still undergoing procedures. Right now I can feel myself beginning to turn outward again to the world and its offerings, rather than just my recovery. I suspect that, over time, these ups and downs, or ins and outs, will eventually even out. At least I hope so!

    Janet

  • Mykidsmom
    Mykidsmom Member Posts: 448
    edited April 2009

    Peggio - It sounds like you are in more pain than I ever remember having w/ the fills. I know some women here have mentioned that they actually cracked ribs during their filles. Not common, but I guess it does happen. Have you spoken w/ your PS? Can you stop the fills for a while to let things calm down?

    And Wanda, I think I felt better every month after my BMx, but three months was really the charm. It takes a long time to get truly over this surgery. You will feel better soon, but don't expect to really be yourself for a while. Give yourself the opportunity to rest and relax. Take it as a time for a short slow-down. And know it will get better.

    Best wishes to our exchanges and fipple surgeries this week. Fipples... what a nice step to be at!!!!!

  • oncRN
    oncRN Member Posts: 27
    edited April 2009

    My kids/ Jean, how is that incision line coming along...been thinking about you and hope it is healing up nicely!

  • tg33
    tg33 Member Posts: 14
    edited April 2009

    I think we all go through the grieving process. so I am bringing what it consist of to the table. we all will go through this greiving process. each of us will go through it at different times and at our own pace. Individuals experiencing grief from a loss may choose a variety of ways of expressing it. No two people will respond to the same loss in the same way. It is important to note that phases of grief exist; however, they do not depict a specific way to respond to loss. Rather, stages of grief reflect a variety of reactions that may surface as an individual makes sense of how this loss affects them. Experiencing and accepting all feelings remains an important part of the healing process.

    • Denial, numbness, and shock
    •  
      • This serves to protect the individual from experiencing the intensity of the loss.

      • Numbness is a normal reaction to an immediate loss and should not be confused with "lack of caring".

      • Denial and disbelief will diminish as the individual slowly acknowledges the impact of this loss and accompanying feelings.
    • Bargaining
    •  
      • At times, individuals may ruminate about what could have been done to prevent the loss.
    •  
      • Individuals can become preoccupied about ways that things could have been better, imagining all the things that will never be.
    •  
      • This reaction can provide insight into the impact of the loss; however, if not properly resolved, intense feelings of remorse or guilt may hinder the healing process.
    • Depression
    •  
      • After recognizing the true extent of the loss, some individuals may experience depressive symptoms.

      • Sleep and appetite disturbance, lack of energy and concentration, and crying spells are some typical symptoms.

      • Feelings of loneliness, emptiness, isolation, and self-pity can also surface during this phase, contributing to this reactive depression.
    •  
      • For many, this phase must be experienced in order to begin reorganizing one's life.
    • Anger
    •  
      • This reaction usually occurs when an individual feels helpless and powerless.
    •  
      • Anger may result from feeling abandoned, occurring in cases of loss through death.
    •  
      • Feelings of resentment may occur toward one's higher power or toward life in general for the injustice of this loss.
    •  
      • After an individual acknowledges anger, guilt may surface due to expressing these negative feelings.

      • Again, these feelings are natural and should be honored to resolve the grief.
    • Acceptance
    •  
      • Time allows the individual an opportunity to resolve the range of feelings that surface.
    •  
      • The grieving process supports the individual. That is, healing occurs when the loss becomes integrated into the individual's set of life experiences.
    •  
      • Individuals may return to some of the earlier feelings throughout one's lifetime.
    •  
      • There is no time limit to the grieving process. Each individual should define one's own healing process.
    • Factors that may hinder the healing process:
    •  
      • Avoidance or minimization of one's emotions.

      • Use of alcohol or drugs to self-medicate.

      • Use of work (overfunction at workplace) to avoid feelings.
    • Guidelines that may help resolve grief
    •  
      • Allow time to experience thoughts and feelings openly to self.
    •  
      • Acknowledge and accept all feelings, both positive and negative.
    •  
      • Use a journal to document the healing process.
    •  
      • Confide in a trusted individual; tell the story of the loss.
    •  
      • Express feelings openly. Crying offers a release.
    •  
      • Identify any unfinished business and try to come to a resolution.
    •  
      • Bereavement groups provide an opportunity to share grief with others who have experienced similar loss.
    •  
      • If the healing process becomes too overwhelming, seek professional help.
  • Bukki
    Bukki Member Posts: 103
    edited April 2009

    Just dropped in to catch up.....and to wish those who are having surgery this week warm hugs and prayers for what they wre going through......hope you all get just the most perfect results you each want and deserve.

    I was touched by reading about the"funk' we all seem to go thru and all the ups and downs.......as I too have had my share of "pity party" days.........now I just try to embrace them as they are part of the healing process.

      Jean......how are things looking for the infection/spot ??? Is it clearing up??

    Now for my weird news......you know I had to have the right foob exchanged just 4 weeks from

    having it placed....well it now seems to be doing good and no more seroma drainage....at least not on the outside, but now my left foob is extra sore and I am having those muscle cramps in the upper area just in front of my armpit  and a new sore area in the scar that I pulled a yukky suture out of along with the nasty scab that came up.......I go back to see PS on wed so will ask.....meantime I am still on the abx .......hope it's just a suture sore and not the start of something else........

    Warm hugs and good thoughts to all of you.......and each of you are in my prayers everyday.....Elaine

  • wbuggie
    wbuggie Member Posts: 47
    edited April 2009

    Thanks all so much for your support.  It is depression that I am concerned about.  I am normally a very active person and with time off would have been rollerblading and working out but ..... I think it is the constant pain in my ribs that is wearing me down so much.  I will speak with my doc if it does not improve.  My daughter is off this week for spring break so I have some fun mother daughter things planned.  That should help!!    This board is such a blessing!!!  I just have not wanted to share this "funk" feeling with anyone as so many around me are having such bad times.  

    Thank you again for the support.  Tomorrow is another fill and hopefully that will bring me closer to my exchange (CAN"T WAIT!!!!!)

    Wanda

  • fruity
    fruity Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2009

    Hello, can I join in? I had a bilateral mastectomy in November, and have my exchange scheduled for next Tuesday. This board has been a great resource on this journey.

    I'm sorry, but I am looking for info on what to expect with recovery on the exchange procedure. Could someone direct me? 

    Thanks in advance!

  • mizbabygirl4
    mizbabygirl4 Member Posts: 42
    edited April 2009

    Hi all,

    I am home from the hospital. Yay! The IV antibiotics had an effect right away. Now I just have to continue on oral antibiotics for another week and a half.

    It wasn't so bad (the hospital). I got a lot of reading done but, not surprisingly, not much sleeping.

    Janet

  • oncRN
    oncRN Member Posts: 27
    edited April 2009

    Janet, glad to hear you are doing so well! Bukki, prayers for you that it's NOTHING.  And Wanda, I think we all are glad you can share how you are feeling here.  Nobody who had not gone through this can truly understand, even though they may care and love you very much.  I hope none of us feel bad for venting here.  You sound like a bit of an overachiever to me...and I can relate.  I prided myself on being able to recovery from anything else I have gone through (hysterectomy, etc) in two weeks.  I am starting to realize (in my wise old age of 44) that nobody really cares that was back at work in two weeks.  This reconstruction business is much more than I thought it would be...I think we need to be proud that we can survive it, period!  Please be kind to yourself...there will be lots of rollerblading in the future.  You aren't rollerblading and I am taking more time off work...and in 6 months, neither of us will be thinking twice about any of that!

  • tg33
    tg33 Member Posts: 14
    edited April 2009

    Janet glad you are back.

    Fruity--welcome I can not help you with the exchanges...I also would like to know what to expect..anyone?

  • NVDiane
    NVDiane Member Posts: 151
    edited April 2009

    fruity and tg33:

    I came to this board in February seeking answers to the same questions, and got lots of help. Basically, the exchange is very much easier than mastectomy. I was fortunate; for me it was a walk in the park compared to my mastectomy. I checked in for surgery at 8am, surgery lasted about an hour, and by noon I was on the way home with a nice new soft foob!  I only took painkillers the first 2-3 nights, as a precaution. I had very little discomfort at all (the surgeon just reopened part of my mastectomy scar for the exchange), and only took six work days off after the surgery. Getting rid of the rock(s) on your chest will feel wonderful!!!  I'm sure other will chime in as well, and reassure you the same way they helped me.  Good luck!

    Diane

  • Peggio
    Peggio Member Posts: 105
    edited April 2009

    Best wishes to all of the upcoming surgeries.

    Mykidsmom- Thanks for your response.  I haven't had a fill for 2 weeks and we may be at the end of my getting fills.  My PS said at the last fill that he thought it was enough but I wasn't so sure, I thought maybe I could go 1 or 2 more. ( I'm not so sure about that now!) I have an appt. to talk to him about it on  April 14. I think I just need to take it easy and take the pain pills at night. I may be officially joining  Exchange City  sooner than I thought!

    Peg 

  • sheesh1961
    sheesh1961 Member Posts: 65
    edited April 2009

    fruity and Trudy - I'm pretty much the same as Diane, although my surgery lasted a bit longer (about 2 hours, maybe a little more). I had bilateral mx tho, sounds like Diane was one side. So maybe it's about an hour per foob.LOL  Anyway, very easy, home before the kids got home from school, no painkillers other than x-tra strength tylenol (just the OTC stuff). BUT -- I would not say I had nice soft foobs. They were -- and still are -- pretty firm. Not as hard as the turtle-shell TEs, and not uncomfortably firm (unless I try to lie flat on my stomach), but not anywhere near as soft as my own boobs were.

    Sheila 

  • Karenp62
    Karenp62 Member Posts: 68
    edited April 2009

    Good luck to all the surgery girls this week. 21 days and counting for me.

    Karen

  • Mykidsmom
    Mykidsmom Member Posts: 448
    edited April 2009

    Hi there - For those that asked, I went to my PS today and he is pleased w/ the state of the infection. He is not sure why it popped up at this point, but told me to continue the oral and topical antibiotics until surgery. He didn't think the surgery would be impacted. He also told me that I WOULD have drains. Man-oh-man, I did not expect that. I know that some of you had drains, but I thought that was for major revisions or CC correction. The good news is that they won't be in for as long as w/ the BMx.

    In addition, I decided to take your suggestions and slow down a bit. I am on high speed these days again (kind of normal for me) and that may be why I let this infection get started. I cancelled out of a meeting tonight and also out of one of the six upcoming presentations I committed to. This should help reduce some of the pressure on me. I told my husband that tonight is a hot bath, glass of wine and a good book. Thanks for the suggestion ladies!!

    Wanda - I can understand the slip into a funk. I agree w/ the others, if it doesn't get better see your doctor and perhaps he can prescribe something to get you through. Even a temporary dosage may be a help!

    Fruity - Welcome. I will add you to the list of upcoming exchanges (4/14). You are just two days before me! Do you know what kind you are getting?

    Janet - I am SO glad you are home and doing well! I have been thinking of you!

    Diane - Thanks for the upbeat post. Sounds like the exchange should go well for most of us!

    Peg - You are welcome to join our list any time your PS says!

  • looper
    looper Member Posts: 61
    edited April 2009

    Welcome, Fruity--You'll be so glad you found this group--lots of smart people here!  I agree that the exchange surgery is so much easier--I thought I needed a week on the sofa, and after two days I was in the kitchen making candles, as the family wouldn't let me do any real work.  I needed to accomplish something!

    I guess we all need to listen to the signals our own bodies provide and act accordingly.  Nobody knows your chest the way you do!  Ask lots of questions, then use your own best judgement.

    Lots of fipple procedures going on--I have that coming up in the next couple of months, but I'm wondering if I want to do that.  The thought of it makes me a little uncomfortable, not sure why.  For those that had it done, was it important to you?

    Suzie

  • oncRN
    oncRN Member Posts: 27
    edited April 2009
    Jean, so glad that your surgery date is still a "go"!  Enjoy your bath....I am jealous! Laughing
  • val61
    val61 Member Posts: 969
    edited April 2009

    Jean - I just got on to check how your ps appt turned out.  So glad it's good news!  Now just use all that extra energy to heal........

    Fruity - welcome!  You'll love it here!

    Wanda - I, too, hit a wall at 5 weeks out.  I was just sick and tired of being "sick" and tired!  I was never a napper either, but boy did I need those afternoons with Oprah or food network and the couch!  I'm now 2 1/2 months out and feel MUCH more myself.  My energy is back, and I really think getting back to exercising helped a lot.  My occasional funk now comes more from tamoxifen, I think. Each week will be better than the last. Remember, as Lorraine says, "we are warriors" - we will beat this sucky disease!

    Valerie

  • Linda54
    Linda54 Member Posts: 509
    edited April 2009

    Jean, glad your PS did not see a reason not to go forward with your exchange.  I was one that had the dreadful drains  :-(   Exchange on Mon and drains out on Friday....not too bad this time.. also glad you are slowing down a bit....

    Suzie, I have not read of anyone who got nipples and regretted it....most say that it's the icing on the cake and they are glad they did it.  I plan on getting nipps and also the grafted areolas....first I need a revision probably in May and have to wait a few months before nipps....I have posted some pictures of fake nipples.....fipples    LOL

    you will make the best decision for you

  • rockwell_girl
    rockwell_girl Member Posts: 517
    edited April 2009

    Hi gals I survived my awesome weekend

    I learned a lot at the adventure camp and got to do different rope things that I've never tried before (accending where you have to climb up a rope to get to the top of a cliff)

    I knew  was coming Saturday night to give a talk but I didn't realize she was coming to do the whole camp.

    Here's a little info about her to realize just wow amazing it was to be with her

    • EcoChallenge Adventure Race World Champion, Borneo
    • Raid Gauloises Adventure Race World Champion, Ecuador
    • Top 5 in over 20 Expedition Adventure Races (including 7X Eco-Challenge, 4X Raid Gauloises, 3X Primal Quest, 2X Southern Traverse, Bull of Africa, Patagonia Expedition Race, 2X EcoMotion Brazil, Explore Sweden)
    • 10 Time Ironman Finisher (10:35 PR)
    • 4th Place, Age Group, Hawaii Ironman
    • San Diego Firefighter (All Female Crew)
    • President/Director of Fun, World Class Teams Corporate Teambuilding Company
    • Captain Team Merrell/Zanfel Adventure Racing

    She gave us a talk about teaming and how it's used in adventure racing and how it could used in your work life and home life.  At the end of her speech she told us about this foundation Project Athena.  The mission of Project Athena is to help women with breast cancer and other medical or traumatic setbacks live their athletic and adventurous dreams through the Project Athena Foundation. Awareness for Project Athena will be achieved through the ultra endurance endeavors of an experienced and high profile all-female adventure team who embody the spirit of Athena.  She left pamphlets with the web site http://www.projectathena.org/.  She shared how they were having a group go to the Grand Canyon this fall.  After she was done talking I chatted with her for a while and told her how impressed I was with her talk and shared I am a breast cancer survivor.  She told me I had to join them this fall.  It would be so cool.  She said if I could just get there the rest would be free.  Can you imagine.  The trip they have planned for July is about $2300 I'm not sure what the cost is suppose to be for the Grand Canyon trip she doesn't have it posted yet.  She had told me it was Sept 30th so I may be going to Vegas to the Grand Canyon.  The web site right now shows Oct 2-5 but maybe that's changing or she gave me the wrong date.  I think the way it usually works is if a breast cancer survivor wants to go they post them on line and family and friends can make pledges to help cover the cost.  So if anybody wants to join us check the site out.  I think it's a hike from rim to rim.  About 25 miles the 1st day the staying somewhere for the night and hiking back the next day.  I've never been to the Grand Canyon but saw some cool pix a running friend posted on facebook.  OMG talk about a awesome weekend and an opportunity of a lifetime.

    I also got some good pix this weekend.  While I was waiting in line I took some pix of my friends repelling.  I didn't realize until I put my chip in my computer that I caught my friend when she went up side down on a repel.  I'm proud to say that didn't happen to me.  I did come home with a few cuts and bruises from the race on Sunday but they were so worth it.  Can you tell I had fun : - )

    I will try and catch up on the 4 pages I've missed since Thur night.  But now I better clean my kitchen up.  I just wanted to stop in and say I'm safe and all in one piece.

    Tracey I'm still praying for your friends and all of you ladies. 

    Jean I hope things are ok I glanced at things and it sounds like you got something going on.

    Laura I miss you also (((HUG)))

    I miss all you ladies

    Sandy/Sunshine : )

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