Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Ok Gals, It is my turn to go see if I can make snow angels, We are snowed in with all kinds of good left over food and looks like we will have time to eat them as more snow is coming today and it is cold, Glad I have good friends to talk with.
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To Redeemed with Jesus Blood,
While many of our posters often mention the comfort they get from their faith, it is mentioned in a more personal context.
A message such as yours would be better suited for another area, such as RECOVERY, RENEWAL & HOPE : PRAYER & SPIRITUAL INSPIRATION.
Also, I apologize if I sound suspicious but, if your website in any way solicits donations or encourages contributions the rules of this forum forbid such postings.
pam
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I WONDERED when someone with their own agenda would post something on here! TO BE REDEEMED WITH JESUS BLOOD seems to be high-jacking, not only THIS thread but several others so far!
SURE we ALL know someone who has had cancer, but YOU haven't! If we WANT more "spiritual guidance" we will LOOK for it ourselves! Please don't try and shove this down our throats!
The women on here support each other, & do a damn good job! We don't want out-side interference, so get off your soap box, & go play somewhere else!
Sorry girls, but it just needed said! Thank you also Isabella4!!!!!
Have a great day everyone! Jeannette
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Amen to Isabella. I am going through enough, let alone someone coming up with saying this disese is curable.Ernie
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Happy Day After Christmas to our my sistahs.
Welcome all those that are new here. If it weren't for this site I would be in a rubber room! I have always internalized emotions. Without you wonderful women I would have assumed only I was having those feelings and therefore nuts. My family was ready to dismiss the cancer almost before I got out of the hospital following my bimx.
When I started down this path I thought I would have a bimx and get perky new ones. Instead I developed a "bleed" while in recovery room and had to be taken in again to reopen the mastectomy incisions. Exactly a month later I had to have the tissue expanders removed due to infection. I never wanted to go without breasts which is why I chose immediate reconstruction but now that it has been over a year, its not so bad. I will go for reconstruction at some point (or not) but for now, its okay. As a matter of fact, I wore my foobies one day (which most of the time I haven't done) and thought "these things get in the way!"
Isabella - I just love you! Your DH better start appreciating the truly wonderful woman he married. He is so lucky to have you.
Jackie - after your post there is nothing left to say. You are so special and so loving. And so giving to others. I just love you too!
In fact I love all of you women. Some of you should be in the diplomatic corp because of your tact and charitable "benefit of the doubt" attitude. You are all truly "christians" in the best and truest way.
Words really can't express my feelings about all of you - every single one of you.
LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
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Well said everyone. Here is something I think that offers about how it REALLY is:
God Hath Not Promised
God hath not promised skies always blue
Flower strewn pathways, all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
God hath not promised we shall not know
Toil and temptations, trouble and woe;
He hath not told us we shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,
Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;
Never a mountain, rocky and steep,
Never a river turbid and deep.
But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labour, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
[ by: Annie Johnson Flint -- from Aiken Drum ]0 -
BTW ... so called insurance plans that are inexpensive are not "real" insurance plans. There are a bunch of scams on the Internet. One called and told me how their "plan" is a real insurance plan yet they pay "up to" $5,000 for a hospital stay. I don't know about you all but one of my hospital bills was $45,000! I called my insurance agent about this so called insurance and he said "run."
As for Nancy's policy, that sounds like a health savings plan not an insurance policy.
Unless you convert your insurance (employer sponsored) plan through HIPAA, you will be denied insurance coverage.
So take care. If it sounds too good to be true - it probably is!
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Kathleen and all of you....you too, are very special to me. Each and every one here has helped define the person I'm striving to become --- I can't be perfect, but I can try to do each day a little better than the day before. So I thank you all for being you, because you are just what I needed to help me move out of my complacency and to move into a lighter place. That is always worth sharing.
Hugs, Jackie
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Illinoislady
That poem was so beautiful and so true. The lord is always there to help us, but He never promised we would not have troubles on the way. I believe all you ladies on this forum are great and we should never judge anyone until we have walked in their shoes.
I would like to ask you ladies a question. After you've had a mastecomy, and say maybe it's been a year since your dx, should you be lifting anything heavy? I just wonder, because this morning I picked up a mirror that was a little heavier than I thought, and I have been experencing a little pain. I always want to be independent and not have to ask for help, I guess that is one of my faults. Anyway, how long should we wait before we should be lifting heavy items?
Welcome to all you new ladies
The ladies on this site are so caring, kind, sensitive, and loving and they are always here for you when you need them most. Sometimes I think our dh forgets about all we've been through, and I think they want us back like we were before our dx, and maybe they are still a little frightened they may still lose us, and the only way they know how to handle it is just to blame us for everything, and maybe sometimes we don't realize they are having a tough time with our dx and they just don't know what to do or how to handle it.
I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas. My children did most of the cooking, I did the ham and dressing and they all bought covered dishes, and as always we had so much to eat. We had a wonderful time. Since my dx last year my children insist I don't cook too much, and at least one of them stay and help me clean up afterwards, of course, it is always one of the girls.
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Always nice to hear what you gals say....lots of words of wisdom...Illinois lady...you asked about lifting heavy...they told me to never lift more than 5 lbs. but after I had grandkids I threw that idea out the window....after I was down the road awhile I did find myself lifting more and more with no problems...In fact I heard on tv lately they have changed their minds and feel like using that arm my actually help you..I did baby it for the time right after surgery but now am even using 2 lb weights daily for upper body health...I wouldn't tell you what to do but that is my experience...We made it through our snow storm and now I am getting a bit of cabin....May try to drive the 10 miles into town later...Hope everyone has a great day....Claudia
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JO-5
You are very welcome for the prayers, and I thank you for all your prayers for me and my family, and yes, I too know i can always count on you when i need prayers, and as you said, it seems to be always that I need prayer.
I also wonder about Gramof3, i don't remember seeing any post from her lately. Has anyone heard from her or know what's going on with her?
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Hello ladies, sorry haven't posted much recently, have been in a selfish self obsorbed funky depression, after cat scan found out broken bone has not healed at all and 4 more weeks of total bedrest and then if its not better they will do surgery which I do not want. We didn't get to have Christmas, no gifts, no family, Tom did cook though. We are iced and snowed in. I am just sick of bedrest and not walking and have twisted my good knee so it is hard to get in the wheelchair now.
Hope all of you had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year.
Isabella hope all your leaks are fixed and stay that way.
I want you ladies to know how much I love you, admire you, depend on you. I pray for you all everyday and need and want prayers for me. right now I am not doing it on my own, I am not strong enough, I know my Lord is carrying me. God bless all of you.
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Spar2, honey, I will send up extra "special" prayers for you for healing of not only the body but also your spirit. I know how hard it is when our faith is tested but I'm thrilled to know you still depend on the Lord to get you through. He and He alone is the rock under you. We, prayer warriors, are there as well to help.
Love and hugs; love and hugs; love and hugs!
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Spar, thinking of you, don't know what to say that will help. Hope the time passes quickly.
At least its snowy weather, you aren't missing the nice warm sunny weather.
Chin up !!
Isabella.
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Hi, I just got in from work and decided to catch up on the posts. Thanks to all of you who already responded to the bible thumping. My feelings exactly!
I am getting ready to start rads. on the 4th and the more I read the more unsettled I become. I, of course, want to rid myself of this cancer but the more I read about the troubles some have had the more worried I become and I'm not a worrywart by nature.What if they hit a vital organ and what recourse do we have? The damage is done.... And meds after, same thing, With tomoxifen, which is what my onco wants to give me, I've heard endrometriatis and hysterectomys. What about quality of life after we have gone through all of this? It seems we have no choice but to go along with the Drs. "standard of care" but at what cost and do we really have any choice in this. All comments from those of you who have gone through this and come out on the other side would be greatly appreciated.
Flo
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Flo - it is quite remarkable how scary some of this stuff seems before we really get into it. I have had rads. They are super careful about "mapping" which I gather is part of the process of making sure that exactly the right spot gets radiated. This includes marks on you, a map of exactly how the radiation bed is set up so that you are in the right spot and some shifting around once you are there to make sure again that they are radiating the right thing. Those rad techs know their stuff! Each person has different side effects - most will tell you that the effects are not drastic, mostly like a sunburn. The hardest part for me was finding a parking spot.
You have to choose if you want to take on all the treatments offered. I have chosen to take on everything offered. If the darned thing comes back (and I trust it won't) I will never have to say "if only . .." So far that has meant, mastectomy, chemo, radiation, Herceptin and Femara. The last is in the same category as Tamoxifen. Now that I am just on Herceptin and Femara, side effects aren't much. It's all doable and much less frightening once you get started. I hope, like me, you have wonderful, kind staff wherever you are - they have made a big difference to me. Best wishes.
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Hi Grama5 - sorry we have to meet in this forum but since we are all here not by choice we have learned to lean on one another to get through.
Many of us have been where you are and some of us (most of us) have also had our doubts. I think you may find one pretty common thought is that we want to throw all possible weapons at this dreadful disease.
The good thing is that treatments have gotten so much better and although there could be a chance that they "hit a vital organ" the chances are probably miniscule.
Yes, the meds come with their own set of possible problems but not everyone reacts the same and some have no se's at all. The ones you read here are the ones who have from mild to severe se's but I would be willing to bet there are an equal number who have exceedingly mild to no se's at all and so they don't post. There's just no way to tell.
My best suggestion would be for you to gather as much information as possible, talk it over with your docs and go from there. You can ask them what are your chances of recurrence with/without rads and with/without tamox or other AI.
Also, check out the "Alternative..." thread for options you may be interested in if you are not comfortable with the docs "standard of care".
Please come often and let us know how you are doing - the ladies here really care and will offer support with whichever way you choose for you.
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Gramma5, I second everything already said. My intention was to tolerate every treatment I could have in the very strong and high hopes that I would not have to give a repeat performance with this disease. Years ago getting treatment was a very rough ride as the information that is now there just was not available. As Leslie mentioned.....there is a lot of care given to see that the radiation goes where it should and that damage does not occur. It is a personal decision to be made with your oncology team. It is a daunting thing -- most of us have gone through 6 to 8 mos. of treatments starting in most cases with surgery, then chemo, then radiation. It is hard to read a lot on these boards because not many of these are good stories since it is such a serious disease and it changes you and your life forever. It is often a rocky path, not so much because of what is done but because though we have come so far, everyone tends to react a bit differently and lots of treatments just can only be tailored so much.
I am one of the lucky ones.....to date and about 17 months since my last treatment ( 7 weeks of radiation ) I feel fantastic -- my tumor markers are down to 14. Even on Arimidex I've lost 9 #'s and I'd do the whole thing over again if I had too, but I did what I did so I would only have to by the grace and love of God ,do it once. I feel that is how it will be. I will also pray for you to have the best outcome no matter what your decision may be.
Spar....I am so sorry that you are still having to stay off your leg. Also, that it obviously was not a great holiday for you. You are high on my prayer list my friend and here is hoping that this next four weeks makes a big difference. I will visualize your knee getting healthy and stronger and hope with all my heart that it will be so.
Hugs, Jackie
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grama5, I am a newbie on the site but do so enjoy all the posts....I am the 12 yr. survivor and still have some of the same anxieties that you go through...I did not have rad....6 mos. chemo ...5 yrs tam....5yr femara...and now on evista....things do get much better and I do live a normal life even after all the treatment..I do have the aches and pains sometimes but I like to attribute it to my birth certificate. I will pray for you and keep us posted...it is so great to know you gals are out there for us when we need you....Like others have posted husbands can be there for us but I really think they aren't comfortable talking to us about problems we have because they are in denial...praying for each and everyone on this post. Claudia
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Good morning my friends ---- Kayok, did you get your snow angels made. We will have flurries again today, but nothing is sticking. So far, as in the past couple of years, the weather just remains somewhat strange and pretty un-predictable. We do seem over-all to get it easier here in southern Illinois.
I am eagerly awaiting the new year although I have no plans right now. Despite often intending to "see" the new year in Dh and I usually fall asleep. We don't make resolutions for the New Year either as that is a little limiting in a way -- we just want to try and be better with everything.
I am thinking of all of you and hoping your week-end is wonderful.
Hugs, Jackie
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Goodmorning ladies, hope all has a good day. The prayers must be working because I woke up with more peace in my heart than I have had in a long time. Still the pain, but I can handle physical pain, it is the mental and spiritual that gets me down.
The ice and snow is here to stay for a while,Tom spent over 5 hours yesterday shoveling our driveway. We live in the country so it is a long driveway.
We did have plans for New years, to go to a party and the coming year sermon but pastor is making me a cd of the sermon so at least i won't miss that.
I do want to get in better physical shape and get stronger, that is my resolution for the new year.
grama5, I am a 6 year survivor in about 2 weeks. I did mastectomy, chemo, and chose not to do rads since I didn't have any positive nodes, decided to save it in case it came back again. Did 5 years of arimidex which did have side effects of but doable. I have been off since May 09 and am feeling better. Just make sure you take enough calcium and d while on it.
Isabella, just reading your post cheers me up.
God bless all you lovely ladies. much love and hugs. Sherry
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Thank you, ladies for your insights and kind words. I still feel apprehension with all this that is yet to come and am amazed how so many of you have chosen mastectomys over lumpectomys and accept the treatments with all that goes along with them. Some where in my head as I was being told I had CA I was thinking Ok cut it out and let me get on with my life. Like gall bladder surgery, go in with pain, come out with none and go back to life as usual.(even though I knew better) it wasn't until afer the surgery and sitting in front of my surgeon talking oncos and treatment that it finally sunk through that nothing was going to ever be the same again. Then sadness, then resentment and of course fear even though I don't like to admit it. Not fear of dying, all of us are in line for that, but fear of the path to get there. My surgeon said at a young 65 I could easily live another twenty years and that is how they look at it as far as how far they go with treatments. Yes I would like to live another 20, see grandkids married and great grand children, but not sick and miserable. And there in lies the rub....Quality of life! And why the decisions on treatment have distressed me so much.What if...these major side effects come my way? Well Ladies I've bared my inner thoughts to you and I think putting them in print has actually calmed me. Please don't think badly of me for being so blunt .
Flo
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Flo, that's what these boards are for - be as blunt as you want. We all understand and will rant along with you. As you found out, it does have the effect of calming because you get to see it in print and it makes you better able to deal with what needs to be done.
Just one thing, when you are thinking QOL, don't only think about what it may be like with different treatments, but also think about what it may be like without any tx; those consequences as well.
It's a very difficult place to be - we all know that and will have your back whatever decisions you come to.
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Merry Holidays, Ladies, I'm a nervous wreck waiting for results. I'm 2 years out and the scar site was getting really hardened. On my last mammo, they spotted a necrotic cyst, it was uncomfortable and I asked doc to aspirate it. She did. within days it started pinking up, we thought it was infected. two rounds of antibiotics and still red. On Wed. she did a punch biopsy, and thinks it might be inflammatory bc. THAT is a sucky way to spend the holiday. Wondering if another breast biopsy is going to come back bad.
I've noticed people using NED when the result is negative? What does NED mean?
When other female family members were acting up for the holidays I thought about playing the BC card but restrained myself. Which is truly a HUGE deal for me to keep my mouth shut.
I dont know if I want to answer the phone tomorrow. But I will. And I will let you know what they say. Praying for negative results.
~Connie
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Wishing you "NED"... no evidence of disease
The waiting is so hard. Your diagnosis stats are so good, there can't be anything bad.
pam
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Connie, praying that the results you get show NED. We are all here for you if only for the emotional support to get through this.
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Flo, I'm sure no one thinks negative thoughts when you are blunt. I think within everything you wrote all of us have found ourselves. Some have not only resentment, but anger as well. I think that has helped many people to "take control" and do what they feel they must to get back to a more stable place.
I'm sure we all understand wanting to have quality of life and a quality life -- this is a major intrusion -- a huge unplanned event, and causes much dis-comfort at times while being time consuming during txs. Easy to say, but one step at a time along with thoughtful decisions will help greatly get you where you need to go. I am 64 and this was not in my life plan either -- or so I thought. Sooner or later, but we certainly hope sooner, the world stops tilting and you get more and more in charge of what is happening to you. Please know that you have many willing to watch over you and hold you up when you need it. This is always much easier to do with the comfort and care of those who have done it or are doing it.
Hugs and prayers,
Jackie
p.s.
Oh Connie...just posted and saw you did too. Count my pile of prayers at your front door and all over the universe for your health and well being.
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Thanks ladies for the kind words. I was afraid I would offend by saying the "die" word.
Flo
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Flo, that's the beauty of these boards. Family and friends can commisserate(sp) with us but only if you walk this road do you know what others are going through. It's hard to "offend" here but easy to come and know that you are loved.
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