Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Welcome Claudia. This is a great place to come and chat with friends you will make and what a great time to find us.
Nancy...Goodness, that is as real blow right when the New Year was due to be coming up in wonderful shape. Insurance is strange..you almost need a lawyer to read the policy before you sign on the dotted line....and then you still wouldn't be able to figure out all the what if's. Hate to say it, but Insurance is a big business and unless you have very, very good insurance the odds will be stacked in favor on the insurance company obviously.
At least you got on the phone and worked something out. I'm afraid I might still be paralysed with despair. Good for you on that score.
Hope you all have a good day. If we keep putting one foot in front of the other something good just has to happen.
Hugs, Jackie
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Oh Nancy - what a not nice letter at Christmas time. I hope that the new legislation when/assuming it passes will make it so that future generations of Americans don't face such news. For us in Canada, such letters are unthinkable - and having to sort out insurance companies after a chemo treatment is similarly unthinkable.
Your comment about being sure to last two years (many more, I hope) reminds me of my father's experience. His analog cell phone became obsolete so he had to change to a digital one. The company wanted him to get a three year plan. "I'm 92", he told them. They insisted on a three year plan. Now he is almost 95 so I guess the phone company got their money's worth from him.
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Dar it is such a personal choice and the one thing up can count on is the NO matter what you make we will support your decision. I had a BMX and even though I am only 2 months out from surgery & I would not have changed a thing- couldn't get them off fast enough as I could not stand the medical maze of wait and see- and frankly was not willing to go through it again on the "What if side" , meaning the unaffected breast. All decisions have adjustments I suppose- mine has and the adjustments are still better than CA. - All of my family and friends were supportive but even my primary doctor acts as if "well, I have had enough of this topic..." My med onc is an angel and my BS is great. Now I have met new therapist, at the Lymphedema Clinic and they are great too. The ladies in the prosthetic shop have been wonderful. I have read of other women who had more than one lumpectomy and then needed a mx- I don't think it is the doctor but the nature of the disease, after all they try to spare our breast and do not have microscopic vision. I did not have rads or chem but it is like Pam said- I had good deep chest wall margins- clear all the way a round the devil CA.
All travelers BE SAFE- we have dry COLD weather (OK for Las Vegas! ) and there are 3 big fires this morning- families losing everything at such a tough time economically and the Season. Look around, we have it some better that lots I guess is that message. Jeanette- really you crack me up with the "cute Little perky ones"- I am 56 and they would not match the rest of my bod- I will say this I have NO wrinkles on my neck since they took my MX- must have stretched the skin as I am wrinkle free (on neck only) now.
Isabella- a little piggy for Christmas- is this a house pet? LOL- let the entire litter in and have a real party. I will try to post a picture of both Pekes- no promises but will see if I can get it to work. Love to you all, Kathy, Kathleen , spar, jeanette pam, So Cal, Dar, Rita, Jo Grandma- all you girls have a great day- hope I did not miss anyone, you know you are included!!!
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picture won't paste! Darn! sorry
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Welcome Claudia!
Ernie, ditto on getting a copy of your path report so you can go over it and do research before you speak with the Onc again. If you are still unclear, do go for the 2nd opinion - that can't hurt at all. I also had only a lumpectomy as my tumor was small and the oncotype came in low at 13 (or was it 11?) so chemo was not indicated as being of any benefit. Just try and hold on to your sanity as the beginning of this journey is the hardest because of so many tx decisions that only you can make. As others have said, we are all here for you so don't be shy.
Nancy, I'm totally bummed out at your having to pick up that cost. How can they only be responsible for what you paid in premiums????? Blasted insurance companies will always have something in the fine print. Lucky for them we do expect you to be around long after the 2 year payoff has passed!
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Just so you all would know....I just changed my avatar to our latest rescue dog named Teeny. She is a long-legged Dachshund. She is a real sweetie.
Jackie
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Hi everyone, Hi Jeannette;
I envy you jeanette being so far ahead of me, I won't start tomoxifen till first part of march and I go in to see my surgeon on the 6th of jan. So glad to here tomoxifen is not going to be that expensive. On my ocno's wall was a list of meds and their generic counterparts and tomox didn't have a generic but that sure sounds like a generic price. Any one know more? Well everyone have a great holiday and wishing all of us no side effects and no extra problems.Take care.
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Here again...I am having trouble getting my avatar to take...Anyone else out there had the problem? We are under a blizzard warning starting today through Fri. and lasting til Sat. noon so I have told all my grown kids and families not to leave for Minnesota until it is over....We are forcast for 2 ft snow. at our house with ice and 50 mph winds....I may be on this computer a lot until my fam gets here...You can only knit and read so much....got a call this morning from my oncologist's office in Mpls. They have set up some blood work for me to have done nextnwk....see why I need uou gals even after 12 yrs?????so glad you're here...Claudia
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Hi Ladies
I haven't been on here for a few days, but I just wanted to say hello, and to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous and Happy New Year.
I also wanted to say welcome to the new ladies on this forum. This is a very caring site for anyone with bc, the ladies on here do their very best to help you with anything you are going through.
Congrats to all who have made their anniversary dates. Whoppee! You made it.
I will not say this has not been a trying year for me, but I will say I could have not made it this far without the help of Jesus Christ, and you ladies. I want to thank each and everyone of you for being here for me when I had a problem, and I especially thank each and everyone of you for all your prayers.
Hope all your dreams come true. Merry Christmas.
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I am new to this forum. I am 60 and just got this new diagnosis after recovering from other things.
I have spent these days rearranging insurance, getting info about DIEP and finding surgeons. Now I face the choices.
Would love to hear from anyone but it might be helpful to hear from women of my age or older.
I am trying to decide between one mastectomy and 2 altho bilateral seems likely.
I am also struggling with the question of whether or not to do reconstruction (like grandma) or bilat DIEP (no muscle).
I have heard there is a loss of sensation on the belly as well as the breasts with this procedure. Is that true? DO I trade sensation for shape?
A tummy tuck and smaller breasts would be a gift of sorts. I don't know what to do.
whirling about.in self image land. Which do I choose? I love to touch and be touched. How wierd would it be either way?
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Hi bodhi !!!!!! And welcome "home".....You will find so much helpful information from these gals...I'm sorry but I can't "help" you with your questions, but I am SURE, these women have "been there, done that!" I am 72, & STILL would think twice about "losing" my breasts, but I would, if I HAD to! And I said before, at my age, the Doctors would probably snicker if I opted for "cute little boobs" (again!) But it would definately be a thought...
I read where one gal said, her Doctor didn't think she would "need" her breasts, because she was over 50, & not going to nurse again....And SHE thought "Would HE miss having his testicles removed, because HE was over 50? Bless her! But you make your choice...your own choice!
So good luck with your decisions....I'll say a little prayer for you! xoxoxo with hugs, Jeannette
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Its 5 mins. into Christmas Eve here, we are about 5 or 6 hours infront of you gals here, so HAPPY CHRISTMAS one and all.
I don't call it Christmas until its Christmas Eve, and won't be putting any decorations up until the morning. This year I will not be having a tree, I just have not got the energy to drag it in from my little terrace, where it stands all year in a big pot. No-one coming for Christmas Dinner, so I don't see the point. I just daren't ask DH if he will drag it thru the kitchen for me, because he is a bad temper !
Started this morning when I went outside, and heard the sound of gushing water, since we are 5 miles from a river it had to be a bad noise ! We had had a burst, in a little room at the outside of the house where anyone who is working here can have a coffee, use the microwave, have a shower or use the loo. rules and regulations..we are tied in knots with them, we HAVE to have 'facilities ' for anyone who even wants a coffee, who might be on the premises. By the time I had opened the door we were under 2" of water. I had to shout for DH, who seemed to blame me for this 'happening', and helped me clear up with a very bad grace. I had no sooner got back into the house when I heard water again, went in utility and soapy water was coming from my washer.I checked what I could, and had to yell for DH again to pull out the washer so I could get behind it.I was due for my painkillers for my slipped discs, so wasn't a lot of good at shifting heavy washers around. Again, it turned out to be 'my fault', even tho' the trap was half full of straw, fluff from DH fleeces, and 2 screws, and it was the trap causing the blockage !!
Later I nipped to the supermarket, and asked DH to carry my bags across what is now a farmyard of sheet ice, covered with snow....I am always wary of falling, having had 2 bad falls already this year without the snow ! My right leg is still recovering from another recent fall, I have a lump on the side which is still painful after 5 weeks, and do not want to spend the holiday in our local ER. Got another snarky comment about ' always wanting things doing these days' so no way dare I ask him to drag in the tree...something is bugging him...and he better loose the attitude, or I will begoing to DDs and leaving him and his bad temper to keep themselves company !!!
On a brighter note my answer machine had 9 messages on today wishing me 'Happy Christmas' from people who have bought puppies from me over the years, and telling me that their little puppy is now th best dog in the world. I have had almost 40 such messages over the last week, and a shower of cards form 'my' dogs.In fact I have many morecards from dogs than from people....I breed such clever doggies !!!!
Have a lovely holiday, everyone. Welcome to our new ladies.
Isabella.
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Hi everyone. Thank you so much for all of your information and support. I AM feeling a bit more calm and confident... a bit... so thanks for that. I'm starting to feel just a bit more like I have some control and knowlege and it's not all just happening TO me, but I am becoming a more well informed patient. I have all of you to thank for that. I feel like I have gained a new family and friends and can't wait to check this forum many times a day. I want to stay with you guys during this journey and later to offer the same support and guidance to the next person that you have offered to me. Merry Christmas... I know that I am facing the holiday with more of a smile than I thought was possible before I found this forum. - Dar
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Dar....way to go. Glad you feel you can smile thru this holiday since it is such a special one. Do come as often as you need and want too. You will get through this, you really will though at first there is too much panic and fear to see that easily. See you again soon.
Jackie
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Dar, you have brought tears to my eyes but it comes with a BIG smile. It is so wonderful when all these great sisters can help one another through the journey. You will make it just as we all have. Just stay in touch and let us know each step so we can be right there alongside.
Blessings all.
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I wrote a long post this morning then lost it when my computer decided to have a tizzy-fit. It has been a hot Christmas Eve. Grocery shopping was terrible but doing the Church Flowers was lovely and cool. We are about to have dinner then I will get things ready for tomorrow.
Welcome to all the newbies. Its exactly three years since dx so I know what that forst Christmas was like. That year we had about 25 here for dinner, I am still not sure how it all happened. Big hugs to you all.
Do be careful all those who are having snowy conditions. Have a great day tomorrow
Love
Alyson
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MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU!
I have lots to do before my family pulls in this afternoon but wanted to take the time to send best wishes your way. You are all such amazing ladies and I'm so glad we have this thread. No matter where you are in this journey...just making the initial decisions, in treatment, or trying to get back into the routine of life.....I wish you a happy holiday with your family and friends.
Rita
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Good morning sweet gals! And what life-savers you are! I remember the panic when I first wrote a thread, "Am I the oldest one here?"....It's just not the same talking with family, or even friends about our cancer & how afraid we are! And then I met "you!"....We are all in this together, some with more complicated issues, & some with an easier time...But we were ALL afraid! Funny how "talking" to someone who's in this with you, helps to take the fear away!
I just want to thank you all so much! You mean very much to me! You have always been here for me, & give me comfort, or even made me laugh!
So MERRY CHRISTMAS you wonderful friends! I love you all! xooxxoxoxo
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And Isabella....Does YOUR DH get even crankier as they get older? Man, I know what you mean! Next time, just quit trying to flood your house!
So much of what you talk about, I can relate to! But we musn't tell the other women, because they will think all husbands are like this, Ha! Sometimes it just seems our job is to just STAND there & be the object of our Husbands wrath! Their little pea-brains HAVE to blame their mis-fortunes on SOMEone, so that's why it's us! Yes.....take a break...fix you a nice "beverage" of choice, & hide in some cozy spot & don't let anyone "in!" Take care of yourself....At least you got the floor scrubbed! 
Merry Christmas! Jeannette 0 -
Good morning! The family is coming over today and I have a lot of cooking to do. Luckily, I love cooking... it's how I keep my mind off of my problems. I've been making notes too from things that I want to ask my doctor that I've learned from this board. I couldn't wait to get up this morning and talk to my new friends. You are all my Christmas present this year. If only I was more computer savvy, but not only am Iearning about Cancer... I'm also learning about the other "C" word that I have struggled with... Computer.
If only I could get past the dark shadowy feeling in the back of my mind that this will be my last Christmas. My family is sick of me saying that I won't be here next year... but... I try to be brave, but I'm just so scared. - Dar
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Ernie...two years ago I too wondered if I were having my last X-mas. There again, nothing seems to inspire so much fear and distress and just all over grim feelings as a cancer diagnosis. My Dad ( who had a simple wisdom ) used to tell me...."You will live until you die", and he only meant I think that you could spend that time worrying about this one simple fact, or just put whatever living you could into the that day and time. So my dad didn't worry too much about dying....and though I had my times where the bad thoughts would sneak in while I was not looking....it is still sound advice.
There is every reason I believe that in a couple of years you too will look back too and know that "You will live until you die" and might as well keep on packing as much life into your days as you can. I always try and be thankful because I see my diagnosis as a big chance to do over -- to make some needed changes. A chance for in-sights about life -- about who is worth my time and whom is not -- and to fill my life with things that are loving and make me happy--things that add to me and don't detract. I have always felt and most times not found the proper words to express it, that we are here on this earth to grow and therefore glorify our souls for the moment we step into eternity. This is a time for us to do all we can to conquer our fears and to learn how to live in harmony with ourselves and others and the Earth we were given to use, and the companion animals placed here with us. There are many lessons.....sometimes we will fail a bit, lose our way and succumb to somewhat dark and despairing thoughts....but there is light and love and abundance and we can be a part of all of that.
So on this Christmas eve....you are all so appreciated by me. I feel we are meant to be a part of each others' progression through life. Have a beautiful, healthy, warm and loving Christmas with those you love at your side, loving you.
Hugs, Jackie
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IllinoisLady(Jackie) - you have indeed inherited the wisdom of your dad. Your post is so beautiful - a Christmas gift to all of us. Thanks for being you.0
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Dar...we've all been afraid and we understand that dark feeling that creeps in every so often. Try to go "one day at a time" and you will make it through this journey just fine so cook up a feast, enjoy tonight and then tomorrow. Cherish the little things and next year at this time you'll be thinking a lot differently than you are today. Hugs to you.
Rita
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Merry Christmas ernie77!!!!!!!!!! Next year at this time, you will be able to look back on this awful time for you, & just be delighted to be here! I never thought I would get through it either! It has been just 20 days since my surgery, and I remember so much, the panic & fear I felt before it was all over! Just listen to these women, find out as much as you can, & keep a little journal! You will remember your "feelings" when you are able to look back on this! And never be afraid to "ask" your Doctors, & even question them about their decisions for you.
Just remember....until you get through "to the other side"....the unknown will drive you nuts! But that's what we are here for.... HERE....I am giving you a little cat to tell you Merry Christmas! Jeannette
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Jackie, Words cannot express how I felt reading your post. I feel you are a friend who has come into my life when I needed it most. I think that I'm going to print out your response and carry it with me in my purse so that I can look at it again and again whenever I need to. A toast to all of you this Christmas.
Everyone: On a happy note, my family all came over and visited and I spent a lot of time holding my 3 week of great grand daughter (the first great grandchild). Everyone raved about my cooking and was entertained by my very talkatve parrot.
Hugs to you, hugs to everyone and Merry Christmas!! - Dar
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hello Madam, how are you doing? If you need to talk, I can be your friend. If you believe in Jesus, I know a site that offers deliverance from incurable diseases at no cost. I know many who have been healed through their Biblical Gene Therapy. It's worth trying. Try to visit www.jtscentral.com.
May you find comfort in the arms of Jesus Christ.
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Hello everyone,
My heart goes out to all of you here. My Grandma and Auntie died of breast cancer and my sister had tongue cancer but now she's healed because of Biblical Gene Therapy. I have a friend too who had colorectal cancer. She started having the symptoms at the same time that the late former Phil President Cory Aquino was diagnosed of the same disease, but my friend is now doing well and not suffering from pain anymore. Her testimony and others who were healed of incurable diseases can be viewed at www.jtscentral.com, complete with medical proof. It's really worth trying. Please visit the site. Nothing to lose but everything to gain.
God bless you all.
Redeemed
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hello Madam, how are you doing? If you need to talk, I can be your friend. If you believe in Jesus, I know a site that offers deliverance from incurable diseases at no cost. I know many who have been healed through their Biblical Gene Therapy. It's worth trying. Try to visit www.jtscentral.com.
May you find comfort in the arms of Jesus Christ.
My email ad by the way is myeuphoria777@yahoo.com. Feel free to ask questions.
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Redeemed.
Don't be so bl88dy stupid. There is no such thing as 'deliverance from incurable diseases'. They are what they say, INCURABLE.
Breast cancer, in the majority of cases, is always there. It can show as 'no evidence of disease' for many years. It may never rear its ugly head. But we that have this disease live with the knowledge that at any moment it can return.
Come back when you actually have this disease, you will feel differently then, until then keep your stupid bible thumping ideas to yourself.
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