Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
Dear Melissa, I just love your quote at the bottom of your avatar. Mysons live in LA, we have been to Las Vegas quite often, in fact we met our sons there for Thanksgiving, a tradtion we started last year. My husband would love to retire there. We love to hike at Red Rock. We may be headed there in January, my son's baseball team is playing a tournament in Henderson.
All you ladies on the forum: Thanks for all your well wishes, you are all wonderful!!!! My onc told me how healthy it is to walk every day, for LE, heart and weight. However, I can't seem to lose the weight since I went on Aromasin. At my checkout, they finally admitted that it is hard to lose weight while you are on an aromatose inhibitor, but I keep trying. Enjoy this Christmas week, everyone and God bless you all!!!!! Kathy P.
0 -
Good morning Sweetie Pies.
Spar - thoughts and prayers for your scan. Your foot isn't healed and my foot doesn't heal - which leg is it by the way? My is the right foot so if your broken bone is in the left foot - together we would have two good legs!
Patoo - I am going to be 63 next month (how depressing) and I have always been kind of eccentric. I don't care, I kind of like it.
Jackie - Yes, we have a new dishwasher and we don't use it either. When the old one broke my sister went out immediately and bought a new one. I think we have use it once.
Melissa - I have been meaning to ask you what you are holding in your avatar. It looks like a pug? Got the cutest face. My aunt "babysits" for a black put with his tongue always hanging out of his mouth - to the side. He's very cute.
Binny - if you really want snow I can send you some!
0 -
Hi. I'm new to this forum. I'm 69 years old and have had two lumpectomies. I was told yesterday that I didn't have "clean margins" so I have to have a mastectomy. I'm really nervous and, frankly, terrified. Is it as bad as I think that it will be?
0 -
Welcome, ernie. This forum is a wonderful source of information and support. Please tell us more about yourself. I am a widow since 2003, 63, live in Virginia, across from Washington, DC. One son, who is married and they are expecting their first child in March. Had a house in Pittsburgh for 36 years before I sold it and moved to an apartment closer to my son.
Has your surgery been scheduled? Do you know the stage, grade, er/pr status? Any lymph involvement? I know it is all very overwhelming. Hugs, Nancy
0 -
ernie877 - it depends on how bad you think it will be! - but really, I thought it would involve lots of pain, various fluids dripping on my bed and not being able to do anything. As it turned out, there was almost no pain, nothing at all dripped on my bed (although the drains were a nuisance) and life as we know it picked up fairly quickly.
Mine was day surgery which sounds barbaric and actually was just fine. All I needed at first was to sleep and I can do that quite well at home. The visiting nurse came to do what nurses do. My daughter came the first night, answered the phone and brought me food. My sister who is a nurse came the next two nights and helped. My brother came the following night. Surgery was Monday - on the Friday I walked to the pub for the regular gathering with my friends (sadly, I had gingerale that time). They did insist on driving me home. The most peculiar after effect was the numbness under my arm where lymph nodes were taken out. My daughter knit me a new boob so I look balanced to the rest of the world.
I continued to play duplicate bridge through surgery, chemo and radiation and am very pleased with myself for winning a couple of awards for play this year. A mastectomy definitely is NOT the end of the world!
0 -
Hi Ernie,
I haven't been on this thread for a while but saw your post and wanted to say hi and offer some encouragement. I'm 60 now, had a lumpectomy and radiation at 54, then developed cancer in the other breast and had a bilateral mastectomy at 57, with no reconstruction. Of course, it's scary approaching the surgery and the loss of your breast. But I wanted to encourage you. The surgery itself is not so bad. Most women find there's less pain than anticipated, especially if you have a simple mastectomy without reconstruction. I started a non-profit website, BreastFree.org, for women facing mastectomy surgery. There are personal stories, photographs, and lots of information on the site, including a section, "Post Surgical Interim Solutions," about how to prepare for surgery and its immediate aftermath.
You may hear a lot of negative stories about wearing prostheses (also called breast forms). Some of that is because in the past the only breast forms available tended to be heavy and caused perspiration. Nowadays, there are numerous options, much lighter in weight and some with backs designed to keep you cool. And there are comfortable mastectomy bras available, too. So don't despair. You can have the surgery and get rid of the cancer, but in clothes you will be able to look the same.
If you are thinking about reconstruction, that will make the surgery a little longer and a bit more complicated, but still very doable. I'm sure there are ladies on this board who can give you more advice about that.
Barbara
0 -
Erica, that is a very informative website. Thank you for taking the time to put it online. Although I had a lumpectomy, I still wonder and worry and try to stay "informed".
0 -
Ernie877,
What a way to get aquainted, huh? Just want you to know that even though both you and I wish you weren't here with your dx. You already have new friends that care and will support you in many ways. Not all of of us have the same dx or have gone through the same treatment but we are all in the sisterhood. Hopefully they can help with some of your fears. I am almost 72 and happy to have new friends.
0 -
Erine877- I am 56 and had a Bilateral Mx on 10-19-09- no recon-when I look at my new chest I see CANCER GONE!!!, not breast gone. as Kathleen says- we need T shirts that say "take a good look, they are fake cause the real ones tried to KILL me". The surgery was not as bad as we imagine- esp. after the biopsies (which I thought were like weird science) and the waiting. The drains are a pain in the butt- but so necessary and like Lefty I was out to dinner the following Friday after surgery on Monday. If you are having nodes taken- get your arms measured for baseline lymphedema comparisons. I wish I had as I am having a small issue with LE on my right as the rt. nodes were difficult for my surgeon. Otherwise try to take a deep breath and visit us often- Barb's web site is helpful- I am still wearing the soft light weight breast forms due to my LE problem and look quite presentable.
Loss of breast is not the end of the world- (although it might have been if I were 30 vs 56.......) we have our issues but we HAVE EACH OTHER! Everyone here is not a old-timer- I just joined in September and could not tell you how much I have learned from these wonderful friends. Don't be afraid to "read around" the different forums as I have had different needs at different times. Also , I would recommend cooking a head if you are the chief cook and bottle washer at your house. I did not need help the 2nd day after surgery ( but could not have fixed dinner) , my husband went to work and I need to sleep anyway- they did offer me a Home health nurse, but really I was OK.
Kathleen- that is EDDIE my male Pekingese- I adore him and he is mama's baby! Spoiled as a good dog should be- I also have a female "Ling-Ling" who is a Princess- blue blood and knows it.
Love ya all- have a great day.
0 -
Silly question !! Has anyone seen pics of Paris Hilton and her new addition, a miniature PIG!!!
Its a black and white pig....Miss Pigelette...or some such spelling !! ....and its dressed in CLOTHES !
My g/daughter has just emailed me, she is buying her mother, my DD, one for Christmas. Looks like I shall be sharing my Christmas day with a flippin' PIG. Well, I did say I was expecting Christmas to be an 'event' this year, looks like I am going to be right !!!!!
DD has cream carpets throughout, he he he. I think I will be ditching the new frock and going in my old jeans, not letting a pig sit on my new clothes, its FIVE years since I last bought a dress, which was a dress and jacket I bought to get married in.... I live in trousers. Was going to make an effort this year, but not now !!
Just had another email from g/daughter 'can I bring pig to yours for Christmas Eve??' I am going to bed before I explode !!!!
Isabella.
0 -
Isabella, you always have something amazing to share!!!!!
I leave for my daughter's in San Francisco (cross country) tomorrow. Our little family--two daughters, hubby and me will be together for Christmas and I am almost weepy with the joy of being together.
May you all have wonderful holidays and may the new year be good to all of us.
xoxoxo
Mandy
0 -
Mandy,
Have a great and safe trip. How wonderful to be with your two girls. Special times.
pam
0 -
Welcome Ernie! You will find these women loving, caring, empathic and giving. I am sure they know more about this topic of bc than most doctors. As Melissa said, shop around there are topics for any of the moods you are experiencing and believe me, some days it is like a carousal. There are days I want to put my arms around the world, lamost giddy and other days when I want to lock myself in the bedroom and pull the covers over my head. Sometimes both happen in the same day.
Melissa - Eddie is so cute. I bet they look so sweet together - Sir Eddie and Princess Ling-Ling!
Mandy - to quote Pam "Have and great and safe trip! You are also going in the right direction to be rid of the cold, if only for a few days.
To one and all - Merry Christmas
0 -
Hi Ernie...I'm chiming in almost last. Welcome to the well seasoned blog/thread here. I don't know much but that this disease tends to turn your would upside down and you inside out for a bit. It's quite a journey to be on but as most find....you are able to almost always find comfort and understanding here where it is hard to get from neighbors, friends and even some family. If you have never had cancer....often you just don't get it --- all through highs and lows and the ups and downs of different treatments. A very safe place where you can cry, yell, vent and just let it all go.
Mandy yes - yes.....have a beautiful time and enjoy, enjoy.
Isabella -- you are always a hoot. I'm sorta with you on this though....I really can't imagine having pigs over for X-mas -- unless they are in the form of a brown sugar honeyed ham on a platter. Hold the apple. Hi to Kayok, Melissa, Nancy, Kathleen, Patoo, Pam,Carole and anyone I missed. See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
0 -
Today was the last of my obligatory gift buying and I was successful . Even a parking space almost at the door. Very few people were buying, but lots were looking. And an extra 5% off for "senior citizens". This is with half off, then extra 20-40% off, so I did real good. Lots of stuff on clearance and the after Christmas sales should be wonderful, if I was needing or wanting anything. I treated myself to a new purse, kind of a golden pale brown leather, for $ 11.19.
I could have sold my snow shovel for $ 50 today. Lots of men hunting for them at Home Depot and there was not a single one of any kind to be had. One man was hilarious - looking at a hoe and I could almost hear the gears grinding - can I make this work? BTW, I was at Home Depot to get pipe insulation for my hot water tank, which is outside in a little unheated storage room. Even though this is an apartment complex, I insisted on having the insulation put on to help prevent freezing and conserve energy. It was also on sale for only 98 cents per package ( I was the big spender and got 2 packs)... and windshield washer fluid.
Then I got desserts for Christmas dinner at the Mediterranean market and some special cheese my son loves. Whew, I am tired just typing about it... Hugs for all, Nancy
0 -
Hi all...my brain does so many disconnects it is crazy...I now go through 3x5 cards very quickly..I write everything down..lists and more lists..I keep some in my nightstand so I can write on it in the middle of the night when I remember something I have to do..of course, many times I can't read my handwriting...
Oh, the joys..
0 -
Post its are on my purse, mirror and car steering wheel - and I still forget.... I also use index cards and asked for them as stocking stuffers. Now if I remembered where my pen is.....
0 -
Hi; I haven't written in a while but have been keeping up on the posts I start rads on the 4th. My incision hasen't healed as well as hoped or I could have started after Christmas. After rads I will go on Tomoxifen. I would appreciate any info you gals can give me on side effects. My onco says that being that I still have all my parts I will probably go through hot flashes and spotting. At 65 thats the LAST thing I want to revisit. I sure hope it isn't for the whole five years? Tomoxifen ladies what have you gone through? Merry Christmas to all!
0 -
Mandy............have a great trip and enjoy having your family together for the holidays! You will be in a nice climate with your loved ones and Isabella will be dining with a PIG! LOL Isabella, you crack me up!!!!
0 -
Dear LeftyAknancy, Wow, I lived in Pittsburgh for 20 years, before we moved back to Indiana, husband was transferred withUSS. We lived in Allison Park, Pa, North Hills. We had downsized to a condo in Cranberry, Pa, and then we spent a short time in Alabama, before we moved back to IN. Love to hear from you, Kathy
0 -
I just read through all the wonderful and supportive posts from everyone, and I wanted to be sure to thank ALL OF YOU for your wisdom and support.
Here's a little information about myself... I'm 69 years old, live in Ohio, am still married to my high school sweetheart and am a retired OB nurse. I have three children, all girls. I had two sons but they died in their 30's, several years ago. I have a very talkative African Grey parrot named Ernie, which is where my sign on name comes from. My husband and I also just this month moved in with my daughter. Moving can be so stressful.
I've had two lumpectomies to try to get rid of this cancer but was told that I had "dirty margins" still, so now I have to have a mastectomy. Is this normal, or should I get a different doctor? I don't know my diagnosis, or even what all the stuff means. I DO know that it hasn't spread to the lymph nodes. I've been feeling too overwhelmed with the cancer (I had my kidney removed in the summer due to cancer too) and the move and Christmas to absorb all the details of the diagnosis. Since it hasn't spread to the lymph nodes yet, I heard that if I get a mastectomy I won't need radiation or chemo. Is that true? People are even telling me that I should get both breasts removed now instead of just having one and risking that IT becomes cancerous. Any thoughts on that? I'm also just worried about the pain from the mastectomy. On a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate the pain as? I'm just terrified.
LEFTYAKANANCY: I feel such a connection with you, thank you so much.
I'm also wondering, that since I'm on Medicare, can I get any financial support from the cancer society to help me pay for all these bills that are piling up? As if the cancer isn't stressful enough, now I'm amassing a PILE of unpayable bills.
Thank you so much, and I look forward to forming some WONDERFUL friendships. - Dar
0 -
Dear LeftyAknancy, Wow, I lived in Pittsburgh for 20 years, before we moved back to Indiana, husband was transferred withUSS. We lived in Allison Park, Pa, North Hills. We had downsized to a condo in Cranberry, Pa, and then we spent a short time in Alabama, before we moved back to IN. Love to hear from you, Kathy
0 -
Dear Ernie, My philosophy is to be as aggresive as you can with this unpredictable disease. I had the same scenario, no clear margins, so I opted for a bi-lateral mastectomy. My surgeon told me he couldn't guarantee that lumpectomies would do the trick, so I said go ahead with the bi-lateral mastectomy. I did have one positive lymph node with a Grade 3 tumor in the left side and a grade 1 in the right side. I am 5 years out now, and truly believe that my aggressive approach has saved my life. God bless you with your decision. Kathy
0 -
Ernie,
Mastectomy probably means no radiation but not 100%, if the margins are too close to the chest wall. Just so you have all the facts. Keep asking questions and ask for copies of all your pathology and scan and operative reports. Best wishes.
pam
0 -
MORNING ladies! Hi GRAMA5! Glad to hear from you again! I see an Oncologist also on the 4th! GEEZ, you & I are doing EVERYthing together it seems! Except about the Radiation... "He" will adivse me on taking the Tamoxifen also! There is another thread here, called "Bottle o Tamoxifen" (I think) and those gals are all doing it, & I have learned a lot from them! I heard it prevents BC by 50% of starting in the other breast! I'll find out when I talk to that guy!
I also asked our local WALMART about Tamoxifen...they have it for $9 a month! So THAT helps!
Hope your incision heals better....Did you talk to the surgeon? I still have a sore raw spot from the MammoSite Device, but that is "healing from the inside out"...It's the TAPE that has been used, that just rips off my skin, & that leaves sores worse than the incision! But I STILL am just thanking God that everything went better than I ever dreamed of! I posted a thread called "MammoSite Device" for your friend, so hope she found it!
Ernie877.....I am thinking of you, as I know the rest of the women here are....You just gotta think about everything, and make your decision with all of your knowledge, & then leg go, & "let God.." If you don't want to think about a double mastectomy, then you don't have to! But see if your Surgeon or Oncologist will help you with any insight or statistics here! It's always "our" choice, & we want to make the best one, BUT, no-one ever knows! I read where one gal said..."I didn't think of it as losing a breast, I thought of it as losing cancer"! For me, I thought, wouldn't it be nice to have cute perky little boobs again, like I used to 50 years ago? But at 72, that would be pushing it a little...
I think "they" would have had a laugh just wondering what I would do with "cute little implants!" I just wanted to hang on to my breast...and I did, with a lumpectomy, but there is always a fear of losing the "girls!" And my fear now is of cancer coming back SOMEwhere! Guess I'll always have it, but I'm going to do as much as I can to make sure it doesn't! I finished the radiation, (through the MammoSite Device) and now onward to the Tamoxifen to be with the other Tamoxibuddies! Dar, let us know how you are doing...stay positive, know that we are here for you, always! Jeannette0 -
Ernie, I chose bilateral mastectomy even though my tumor was only 1.2 cm and I was a candidate for lumpectomy. I wanted to avoid radiation and future diagnoses of breast cancer. I wrongly thought that BMX would automatically rule out chemo, but that was not true. My breast surgeon explained that a sample of my tumor would be sent off and analyzed in a lab to determine the likelihood of recurrence. This test is called the oncotype dx. I was fortunate to get a 9, which is low and meant no chemo. If my number had been high, chemo would have been recommended.
There's so much misinformation and outdated information out there. Don't believe everything friends and relatives tell you. Do some research and question your drs. Medicare covers the oncotype dx test and mastectomies. Also reconstruction. But as you know, Medicare pays 80 per cent. If you don't carry a medigap insurance, you will be responsible for the remaining 20 per cent.
Another misinformed opinion is that mastectomies rule out recurrence. That's no true either. MX greatly reduces recurrence but in rare cases, bc can occur on the chest wall and underarms. My BS will see me every 6 mos. for ultrasound screening.
Good luck, Ernie, in your surgery decisions. I had BMX and immediate reconstruction and was back to playing golf at 10 wks out from surgery. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Once you're well again, you quickly forget about the misery and fright of the whole ordeal.
Isabella, I'll be thinking about you on Christmas day, dining with a pig! What's the time difference between the US and England?
Hope everyone has a blessed Tuesday.
0 -
Hi Ernie,
It's very common for surgeons to have to operate more than once to try to get clean margins. They try to cut extra tissue, but can't always see where the cancerous cells end. If the pathology report shows that they're too close to the edge, then further surgery is necessary. So it sounds as if your surgeon is competent and giving you good advice. I had the same thing happen to me. I had a biopsy and then two wide excisions (lumpectomies) and still no clean margins. So I had to have a mastectomy. My cancer (DCIS) was too extensive for a lumpectomy to be possible.
Regarding the no chemo, no radiation probability, that's great news! It probably means the surgeon is confident that with a mastectomy, your margins will finally be good, so no radiation will be necessary. Given that your nodes are clear (excellent!), if you have DCIS or a very tiny invasive cancer, then chemo would not be recommended. I know it's hard to see yourself as lucky at this point, but you really are fortunate if you don't need radiation or chemo.
It sounds like you've been through a lot, with the kidney cancer, the move, and now this. Hopefully, once you have the surgery, things will calm down and you'll be able to move on with your life.
By the way, I love parrots! I have a friend with a beautiful gray parrot with the most piercing blue-green eyes. I would love to have one, too, but the responsibility is too much, especially since I already have a beloved toy poodle. Does your parrot talk?
Barbara
0 -
Just over a mini meltdown after opening my mail - I still owe $ 7000. from my first chemo treatment, after a year and a half of appeals. Basic summary: I had what I thought was a good self pay health insurance policy (since I am retired and do not yet qualify for Medicare). Boy was I wrong - they only paid the amount that I had paid in so far that year as premiums. In other words, they did not even cover my mammogram and biopsy, since I had PT for cervical disk disease in January and February. So, after my copay and deductible, my insurance paid zero towards my BC adventure.
As luck would have it (thank you Jesus), I discovered this before my second chemo tx and I was able to secure an almost perfect policy, at a high cost, but in comparison to the cost of one chemo tx, it was and has been worth it. My pension and Social Security take care of the majority of my bills and I have not had to resort to cashing in much of my "investments".
I made monthly payments on the various tests and scans that were also not covered and finally paid it all off last month. Then I get this whopper of a bill. The lady at the billing office was so sympathetic and I have now set up another payment plan, extending over 2 years. The good part is that they expect me to be alive 2 years from now... I know, I do not mean to offend anyone, but I have to look at this as the glass half FULL.
Thanks for listening to this latest rant and whine. I do have some very nice greek cheese and hummus in the fridge to go with the "whine".
If I were a drinker, I might be drinking my lunch or brunch... On to the plans for Christmas dinner at my son's. They also want me to come over Christmas eve, but I am going to pass on that and gather my "strength" (aren't we ALL strong ??? !!! ) and patience and energy and do my best to have a MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Gentle Hugs and Blessings for all, Nancy
0 -
Oh was I happy to find this site for us oldie but goodies.....I am 65 yrs. old and have been a survivor for 12 years....Still have my times of anxiety and depression as I still have to go for tests and am on hormone drugs.....BC definetly is a life changing experience and some of it has actually been for the better.....I look at things so differently now.....for one thing I don't have to have every corner of my house spitshined before I have company....I am not panic stricken to get on an airplane...too many more to name but you get the idea...I hope to connect with others on this site...such a great place to vent when you don't want to go to family or friends...A friend, Claudia
0 -
Good morning everyone. Ernie, that is a hard choice you have to make. My tendency is towards being aggressive. Having said that, I only had a lumpectomy. I had biopsies done on both breasts but only had one sm. tumor or so it was thought at the time....on left side. Later it turned out to be a sm. very slow growing tumor and a much larger hidden aggressive tumor but my surgeon did say that I could have the lt. breast removed if I so chose and I would get the same treatment as if I just went with a lumpectomy....in other words ( at that time anyway ) because they didn't know about the aggressive tumor then, treatments are the same. I was due for a couple weeks of radiation after the lumpectomy. After it turned out my diagnosis was a little different -- I ended up with 6 months of chemo and 7 weeks of radiation.
This is why the pathology report is so important. That is where the Oncologist gets the information to present to you your treatment options. After you speak with your Oncologist you may want to get a second opinion. Many people do this. It is a difficult maize as you have other problems going on......easy for me to say, but just take one thing at a time. You will get through it all.
Hugs and prayers,
Jackie
0
