Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Just Stay
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside.
'Your son is here,' she said to the old man.
She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened..
Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the
young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering
him words of love and strength Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words.. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.
Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her.
'Who was that man?' he asked. The nurse was startled, 'He was your father,' she answered.
'No, he wasn't,' the Marine replied. 'I never saw him before in my life..'
'Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?'
'I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed..'
The next time someone needs you ... just be there.Stay.
I just read this, & wanted you gals to see it...It's like we'll all "stay" here...because we need each other.
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Oh Jeannette..........you're so right! We all need one another and this is a great place to stay! What a touching story! Thanks for sharing!
pj...Thanks for the FL weather update. We are leaving on the 27th and hope to arrive on the 28th in Fort Myers Beach. This year we're driving so we'll have some place to put all the things that we like to buy! LOL So if the weather cooperates, that's our plan. We'll start back home on February 13th. I'm glad a warming trend is on the way! It will be so nice to get out of this cold, snowy area.
I'm back to work again today, writing scholastic bowl questions. I need to earn some money to spend on this Florida trip! LOL
Welcome to jakhop and suzie. There is always room for a few more on this thread! I think you're going to like it here!
Gotta get a move on. I'm sure I'll check back in later.
Rita
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Ritajean,
As my mom used to say, you are going to the "real Florida." SW Florida is so much more tropical than here, NW Florida. Big difference. We can plant all those wonderful tropical things but a hard freeze like we have had this winter wipes them out. My bouganvilla is looking pretty sad. I am just hoping it is not dead.
Will you spend every day on the golf course, of course.
pam
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Good Morning, Susie and Jakhop.
I have only been here for a few months and believe me, you could not find a better bunch of friends anywhere. We may not recognize one another if we were to pass on the street, but we had had our arms around each other from the first time anyone posts. We have all had different experiences along the way to meeting here and only really have one thing in common and that is bc. As you can tell from reading others stories it doesn't take long till you know your are among friends. The fact that some are long time survivors and still take the time to care and share about us newer comers ( is that a phrase?) makes you aware that they know what your are going through.
Good Gravey Girls, I just had a thought. (Dangerous) You don't think anyone will think we are all I Pods????????
Carolyn
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Morning everyone - gloomy here since it is warming up. Also, most of the snow is gone and mud is taking its place. Oh well.
Susie
Welcome aboard. This is a great place to be. Many other parts of BCO are great, but since we are "seasoned" here for the most part there is always someone to relate too. Especially those of us with those little 5 year pills.
Anyway....got to give up this computer so see you all later.
Warm hugs, Jackie
P.S. Hi Sis.
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No Kayok, "We Pods" - the support on this thread shows it's about 'us' not 'I'. Let Apple keep theirs!
Jeannette - great story. Thanks for sharing.
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WELCOME JK and PJ, my own opinion, there is something to be said about being a bit wiser the older we get. I haven't gotten there yet and I am 57! I am hoping to get microwaved into wisdom real soon. I am new to this also, just had surgery and my first Chemo yesterday. I am in a "Chemo Coma" today and the steroids have me orbiting the galaxy without training wheels. On this thread I hope you both will find LOL and acceptance, humor, understanding and the need not to take ourselves so seriously, or seriously, whatever the case may be. My most difficult decision right now is do I continue typing, take a drink of water or go "Pee", not necessarily in that order. So, from an old "pod pirate", welcome aboard. OHHHHH-that's it, we should name our "pod ship", like what was it Chris Columbus sailed in on, the Pequoid? No that doesn't sound right (They call me Ishmael). Love and good morning and day to all of my "Pod sisters." Melissa
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we pods we pods mighty mighty pods.
Welcome all newbies. Enjoy our sanity. Goodmorning to all.
I wonder if there is anyway we could all get together this summer. In may we are planning a trip to the chicago area to meet up with another sister who is not on the boards any longer.
Alyson, if you are anywhere near oklahoma I have a guest room and will feed you.
I want to thank northstar for starting this thread, I do so love and enjoy you all.
Carol and Rita, I have never played golf in my life but am planning a golf trip with my best friend from grade school and still continueing our friendship. Her husband loves golf. I mean when I can walk again probably this summer. Do you just swing the club and hit the ball toward the hold. LOL see I am so wise, actually planning on getting my wisdom from you two.
Hope all has a good day.
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Hi Patoo, I know you from other sites.
I will be 61 next month and wanted to share the experience of the older girls with bc.
Thank you.
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Hi Ronna and welcome!
Don't you love how you get to "know" women here without meeting them or even talking to the directly? Nothing like a life altering disease to bring us together! I'm not glad to have BC but glad to have found you all.
pam
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Ronna - welcome, you're about an hour north of me! I turned 61 just 2 weeks ago today!
Pam, that is so true. It's extended family and you know it must be true friendships because so many who were dx'd years ago are still here, sharing, encouraging and just being sweet.
Hello all!
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Good morning all.
Came here to put a smile on my face for the day. Melissa, hows the chemo brain? Columbus' ships were the Pinta, The Nina and the Santa Maria. The Pequod was the ship in Moby Dick and I am not sure we want that one. We don't want to be hunting whales!
Must get moving as DD is moving to a new flat - that's what we refer to as apartments or rented houses. she would like to buy but its difficult for single academics to afford the mortage repayments.
Just remembered that the District nurse will be here to see DH any moment and I should get dressed.
Big hugs and lots of prayers. I will light candles for you tomorrow.
Alyson
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Welcome, Jakhop & Suzie. Glad you've joined us.
Claudia, Dh has a cousin who lives in Holland, MI. We've been there several times with our rv, but always during the summer. Two years ago we were there on July 4th and enjoyed the fireworks.
Gosh, Rita Jean, you must be very smart making up questions for scholastic bowl! Dh is a real Jeopardy fan and comes up with lots of answers. I tell him it's because his head is so full of useless information!
Pam, I hope your bougainvilla isn't dead. What a beautiful flower.
Happy Friday evening to all.
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OK this is going to get confusing- now we have 2 Melissas' -me and StilVerticle- and from her recent post we should be able to keep you girls on your toes. HUMMMMMMM, pee, drink or type- I must admit than when it comes to this website I would pick type as long as I could HOLD it!
Glad to see the new comers- I mean after all that is the only way I will get to be a seasoned vet ob BCO. Rhonda HI! and welcome, Patoo I love the "WE PODS" - maybe we should patent the name before some big corporation wants it- you know the ones I mean- the ones run by skinny women with little butts! LOL- Hi Alyson how is DH lately- hope all is well.
Spar I will be in Missouri by the end of May- just a short trip to Chicago and I would make the drive to see you!- Anyone else interested ???
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Good day to all. A very cold, rainy, slushy day it has been.
Good news for me is that I managed to get my car out at long last, 15 days its been unable to travel, and I have just begun to feel cut off. It was a pleasure to go fill the car up, and just wander around the shops ALONE. DH has been ferrying me around, like a little old lady, for grocery shopping, but I wouldn't want him to come with me all the time. He has just no idea of prices, is still stuck in the '50s, and constantly says 'you're not paying THAT are you, don't get it' ....but the prices are what the prices are.' I paid £1.18 for a litre of petrol today, thats about $9 a gallon, its ridiculous, I have to run my car on high octane petrol, so always a little higher price. I am so sick of being taxed to the hilt. Apparently 75% of the price of a gallon goes on tax.
For years now I haggle when I shop, apart from things like petrol which we cannot argue about. I always ask what the price will be for cash if I am having any work done at all, and if the price doesn't come down then I move to someone who will reduce. I even tackled my car insurance company last year, and got 35% off, by threatening to move companies, and saying other companies were giving me more favourable quotes ( they weren't !!) UK, on the whole is one of the most heavily taxed countries, and down at the bottom of the league when it comes to healthcare, treatment, and, of course, we are 2nd bottom on bc survival rates in all the European countries.
I have my 1st app. with my neurosurgeon next week, to discuss what seems to be my only option for my 4 slipped discs...surgery. My physio tells me that the MRI I had of my spine shows this to be the only way for me. Will see what neuro. says. I have been walking around crippled with pain for 17 months now. Most of last summer I was panicking I had mets to my spine, but I couldn't get anyone to hurry up, get me in for an MRI, and put me out of my misery. I had an xray in March, which didn't show up anything at all...so WHY on earth was I complaining, was the attitude I got !!!!!! Now I shall be waiting months for an op. I suppose. I just wish this back pain on the doctors, then maybe they would hurry up. DH is in bad pain with siatica, he has been advised to 'rest' How on earth he is expected to do this we don't know.Animals have to be fed and milked. I am now worse than useless outside. I can manage to lift small buckets of milk for the calves, pack up a few eggs for delivery, but can only work in 'spurts ' of about an hour, before the pain gets bad. Together we don't even make up ONE decent worker !!!
DH got kicked in his mouth yesterday, by our favorite cow. She is very flighty, and always comes dashing up to be petted whenever either of us goes near her. DH bent down to put some penicillin into one of her teats, she has mastitis, and the little madam lashed out. DH came in bloody and swollen. I, callously, sent him back outside to fill his mouth with snow, 'til the swelling went down...we had no ice cubes....but it worked, now he just has a big bruise on his lip and chin !! DH is NOT in my good books today. He woke me up at 2.30 this morning. I had just nicely got off to sleep, and he woke me to tell me he was constipated. He really got told off, at that hour. Today I have bought him 2 different laxative tablets, a laxative drink. and a big box of liquorice alsorts. If that doesn't move him then I don't know what will. He has been taking so many painkillers for siatica, that its bunged him up. I did warn him , but would he listen !!!! Do men ever listen ?? I now have quarter of my kitchen table taken up with 3 boxes of painkillers, 2 boxes of laxatives, a monster box of liquorice, and all of the information leaflets out of all of the boxes of tablets, read, disguarded, and all in the general mess. DH is very cagey about tablets at the best of times, so now he has mixed up all the info. leaflets he is scrabbling thru them all trying to match them up to read and re-read them !
I got my dinner tonight early, before he came in. I don't want to have to sit and watch him trying to match them all up, and questioning me about all the 'terrible' side effects the info. leaflets warn you about !!!!! He thinks because I take a handful of tablets each day I am the tablet expert !
I am away to a shower and my bed now, and woe betide DH if he wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me the laxatives have worked. I have a full house in the morning DD, 2, maybe 3 G/sons, and 2 G/daughters. What started out as DD calling to visit on a Saturday morning, just for a chat, is fast becoming a morning out to the G/children. Everyone talking and drinking coffee, when all I want is a quite time with DD, to catch up with one another. There are things I won't discuss when G/children are about.
Isabella.
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Isabella - WOW! Lot on your plate and you are still sane!!!!
Can you and DD sneak off and leave the g/children with DH? Tell them to ask him to take them in to town for ice-cream or something. See if he can do that and handle the diarrhea too! LOL
Good evening everyone.
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Isabella! You are sooooo funny! I know when I see a letter from you, that I am in for a laugh! But your Husband sounds exactly like mine, sometimes...You know that when they have a problem, it is most certainly YOUR problem too! Have you tried giving that old boy prune-juice? I mean along with your other formulations? Ha! I just KNOW something has worked by now, or you guys are in a s---load of trouble!
And I know what you mean about just "talking" to your Daughter, alone.... Mine is always so busy, when I see her...( she lives in Orlando, but came here for my surgery) But she is a Realtor, & man, that phone just is joined to her at her ear. She is always working...nights, week-ends, & the housing market is just in shambles now anyway, & she just trying to make a living, but always busy. Man, I would go nuts! I just want to sit & talk & do nothin' someday when we are together.... Oh well...
I KNOW....sometime when dh is sound asleep, wake him up & tell him you are in the throes of a terrible nightmare, & make him get up & make you some warm milk! Yeah, I know....wouldn't work with mine either!
I think about you & DH & your back problems....wish we could help you with that...I DO know that some pain meds will plug you up also! Glad I'm through with my back trouble....Surgery took care of mine.....But I know it's different for everyone. Hang in there kid! Jeannette
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All I can muster this AM "Great and Wise Pods" is a good morning! And yes, I cannot decide to keep the gals guessing on the two Melissa's (include me in that) or up and give us all a break. Let you know later. OMG, Isabella and here I thought the UK was boring! And my lazy #ss cows are not even up yet. Oh wait, i don't have any cows. I did wake up with two English Springer Spaniels in my bed. That is a good as it gets right now!
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Good morning ladies.....once again Isabella you have turned one of my somewhat boring days into a great one -- not only because you have just a humorous way of writing about your life, but as well that you seem to be ABLE to handle so many problems in one day somewhat casually. Your strong sense of humor really seems to serve you very well.
I did not mention here that I had a sister-in-law pass away a week ago today -- so today ( since there will not be an actual service here -- she is having her ashes scattered around Tahoe, Ca in the late spring ) there will be a get-together at another sister-in-laws house. I will be running around today like crazy but will be thinking of some of my most favorite people in this world.
We have warmed up and will stay that way for a while. Might even get rain one or two of those days. Very foggy this a.m. Got my car washed to get all the salt and tons of road dirt washed off. As we are still fairly wet -- no sun so the drying out will take some time, I think it will just get dirty fairly quickly again....but nice to have it look great for a bit.
Hope you are all going to have a fantastic Saturday. Mine will be too....just so busy.
Your in my thoughts.
Warm hugs,
Jackie
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Jo -- I hope your birthday today turns out to be every bit as special as you are. Happy as well that you are now only 3 months away from another important milestone. You are a great inspiration to all of us. Many blessings on your day with and to you and yours.
Hugs,
Jackie
p.s. oops.....start those wishes yesterday and move forward.
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Happy Birthday ((((( JO ))))). May you have a wonderful year ahead and many more to come.
Nancy
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Happy Birthday JO, I love you girl, you have been such a blessing for me.
Goodmorning Pods
Isabella, you crack me up, hopefully you will get some alone time with DD.
Melissa, what part of Missouri will you be in and do you know the exact date?
Grandkids are here so I better get off the computer. Love you all and welcome everyone.
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JO....Happy Birthday for yesterday.
Isabella.
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HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, JO. AND MANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pam
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Happy birthday Twin. Funny, twins and we're 15 days apart - wasn't 'mom' annoyed LOL!!!
Hope it was fun. Do anything special?
Greetings all my BC friends.
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yeah! OK it's official- I am not crazy. Remember weeks ago when I thought I was depressed and went to my naive doctor who did not help me- then wrote a "very detailed letter" (read between the letters there) and then she gave me antidepressants but made me promise to go a shrink? Well I went yesterday and not only am I not crazy I was told I am NORMAL--- TEE-HEE fooled him!
He said medical people process dx intellectually first, putting off the emotion and then it hits us like a mac truck- also that between the mac truck and the trauma of surgery all the confusion in my brain (it was alot!- remember the Korean RobinHood I bought???) was the depression!
OK on to fun stuff---spar the furniture goes April 7,8 or 9th. DH and I will drive out with the dogs and my breakables that DH doesn't trust to anyone but me. We will arrive in about 3 days drive the furniture arrives the 20th- I will stay until the 25th-fly back for my 6 month MRI and BS check and work until the 21st- then I am flying out of here!Google Montauk State Park, Mo. I am 4 miles from there. I still have 2 DS in St Louis and wanted to be back before any of us got sick---but I got that out of the way first! NOW I am so healthy- in fact if I were any healthier I would be a very funny looking new born baby.
My LEV therapist told me to join a yoga class and buy a 55 cm exercise ball- I am supposed to sit on it, roll it onto my back and fling over it like a graceful ballerina- in the shape of a rainbow- ya got that? I do it but the graceful part I am sure is not there and I think I look more like a crab on its' back vs a rainbow. I will let you know how my first yoga class goes and hope it goes well. Have been wanting to join one but BF BC some things I wanted to do did not have as much importance as they do now.
Happy Birthday JO! And almost 6 years- I am going to make that too! Love ya and hope it was GREAT.
MJ -teehee two Melissas' --did you say what month you were born in? I am in May- very Taurus.
Isabella-you had me screaming with laughter as always- hope your DH can take it all!!!
Jackie so sorry about your SIL- My FIL's ashes are at Silver Lake and he is a kind wonderful soul. I say is because I think his spirit is still here.
Hey Jeanette-, Dar, Patoo all you Breast Friends- gota go. I am going through one closet in preparation for our move!!! YEAH!
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JO
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Oh My Lord M, Yup I am a May child but a Gemini.So there are two of me to contend with. I wish I had some Tauras in me. BTY, my first chemo treatment was with Taxotere and Cytoxan. Any body with info on these drugs? I have been horizental for two days, am brainless and quite ill. My skin smells like it was soaked in toxic waste. I cannot even run away from myself so I don't have to smell that awful smell-Fabreeze? Is that an option? MJ
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We have just had a visitation from our 'emergency' doctor service. What a hopeless shower they turned out to be.
DHs siatica suddenly became acute overnight.....he was going on like a 10 year old having a baby when I caught up with him...I am being sarcastic here...well, because I feel that way, as I am just about at my limit with him. I know, I know, shouldn't be that way, but what is it with men...they are always a dozen times worse than we ever are when they have just a cold.
At 9 am DH just couldn't move, had to lay prostrate on the kitchen floor. Of course the dogs thought it was a new game, and tried crawling all over him. No way would he move to another room, so I thought well, leave the dogs be, just let them go on climbing all over him then !! I called for 2 g/sons....only one bothered to turn out, and between us we managed to sort out all animals, and get in to sort out some breakfast about midday. DHs moaning was off the Richter scale by now. He didn't want any painkillers, didn't want any food, didn't want a hot drink, didn't want to move, and had we done everything outside PROPERLY !!
Right I thought, enough...I rang the local dr....who put the call thru to the emergency service, who took all details, and were coming out 'within the hour'. This was 12.30. By 5pm no-one had been. I rang again....'we're on our way' Remember all this time I was stepping over a moaning heap of a DH right in the middle of my kitchen floor...which felt damned cold to me, but, would he move ??!!
I have to stop and have a monster laugh here. I hadn't got my eye on the dogs, so many things going on, and I forgot to chase them into the garden every hour or so, and one of them pee'd right behind DH. I didn't see this...but I heard the YELL, as he turned over onto his back and straight into a puddle, I almost wet myself laughing, which made the situation worse ! I had to quickly chase the dogs into their nighttime kennel a bit early, for their own safety, before they got squished by DH... he was after blood ! Luckily he had to get himself up off my floor now and go shower, and change his clothes. I rang the emergency dr. at 9pm, yet again...some emergency this was turning out to be. ...at at just before 10pm the dr arrived....nine and a half hours to get to us , from 7 miles away. Remind me never to have a heart attack !
Dr gave DH a good check up, pronounced it WAS siatica, and wrote a prescription for some stronger pain killers, and some amytripteline (sp) to relax DH . He suggested we find either an osteopath or chiropracter (what is the difference?) after w/end.
THEN a bl**dy miracle happened. DH stood up, and went to the fridge for some beer ! All the time he had been laid out, the Dr comes, talks to him, and the pain goes !!! Just lets hope its still gone in the morning or there will be a riot ! He is sat up now, all perky, swigging beer, and watching football. I KNOW he was in a lot of pain this morning, and most of the day as well, so can't take that from him, but I have worked my sox off today trying to do what I could for him !! Men..they never cease to amaze me !
Melissa. I am really pleased you are officially not crazy....but...unofficially ....??
Right I am headed for my bedroom, with a dish of cherry icecream, (diet ?? NOT after the day I have just had ) and a good TV programe for an hour. Tomorrow will be another day !
Isabella.
O.M.G. DH has just shuffled in and out of the kitchen to take his bl**dy laxatives, muttering about ' how much should he take, can he take too much, what will happen, when will it happen' My keyboard will be winging its way across at him...just wondering , maybe he's going potty !! If not him, then definitely me.
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Oh well Isabella the jury is any ones guess on the unofficial opinion of my sanity. When a person asks me how I am I usually reply "Great, but then that's my opinion!" Who wants to be "normal"? It is so boring and uncommon!
MJ- yes there were 5 of us girls, the first three were Taurus- May 9, 10th and 17th. We were a bunch of TOB's always! You know I never met another Melissa until I was 23 and I was so pissed that she had MY name! Then Michael Landon (God rest his sole) had to get 3/4 of the baby girls named Melissa and my nephew had 3 in his 3rd grade class.The nerve,
Isabella- Don't have a heart attach! Tomorrow if DH is flat on the floor entertaining the pups and the laxatives work it will be a pant wetting scene! This is again why men can not conceive babies. Besides it would be tough to birth a baby out of a penis!
Love ya'll
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