Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Susan....so sorry to check back in and hear your news. I am the Queen of cystic breasts. My last G.Y.N. exam the Dr. ( a lady ) said I was the severest case she had ever seen in all her years. What I am really getting at is that I felt all sorts of lumps and bumps for years.....and always had to get not only a mammogram but ultrasound to back the mammograms up. So while It probably won't help you much.......try not to worry too much because until these tests take place you don't even know if you need do. I do think digital mammography is far better and hope they are done as routine just about everywhere now.
I post a quote or saying every day on the thread that Rita started with all the Illinois women. I don't think they would mind if I put the quote here that I left on the other thread this morning.
12 hours ago IllinoisLady wrote:
Isn't this the truth:
If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are. Zen Proverb
So, I guess I'm just saying, it is what it is......and we are all hoping and praying that it is very benign whatever it is.....but massive worrying will make you feel very bad and won't really help your daughter. The waiting is so difficult as this is one of those things that steals our power so instantly. I am a strong person.....or so everyone always said till I heard those dreadful words and then I was nothing...a disabled total wimp. Try Susan not to fight shadows and might be and save your energies for when there is a test result. That is the only time you can do very much.....about anything.
Just keep taking those deep breaths and imagine the glow of all the positive energy surrounding you and your daughter that we are all sending both of you right now. Feel the love, and care, and hope, and bravery we are all trying very hard to inspire. We care and we are here....always.
Jackie
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Blackjack, how good to see you here....hope you keep coming back....a lot.
Here is a site my friend sent me. Hopefully, the link will work. Enjoy...
(http://www.quiltersofsc.org/artfullbras/artfullbras.htm)
It's some South Carolina quilters.
Jackie
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you can always count on Jackie to know what to say........
Blackjack WELCOME !!!!! Please visit this group often and make it a second home.....there are wonderful women here , all kinds of great *seasoned* ages.....
Jan
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Oh Susan! There are so many different things this can be, especially in a young gal. We will all hope and pray for a cyst or benign fatty tissue. Hang in there, gal. I must admit that you really made me smile today. I'd completely forgotten about baby oil and iodine...and the complete grease-slick we were with it slathered all over our bodies. Hugs to you!
I admire you K-3 elementary teachers. You have to have the patience of a saint. One year during summer school I taught the second-graders. Believe it or not, that was back in the dark ages when we had to wear skirts or dresses. I swear my skirts were all three inches longer in the back from them tugging on them! I learned quickly that it takes a very special person to deal effectively with the little people and I couldn't wait to get back to the middle-schoolers and junior high kids! LOL
And speaking of the good ol' days.....remember the family picnics where cold watermelon was the grand finale and everyone went home sweaty and happy?
Hey Jan...I just read Patterson's "Run for Your Life." I'm hoping that he's starting a new detective series with Michael Bennett. The book was outstanding. I had a hard time putting it down.
Well gals...I'm out of here tonight.
Soothing thoughts to those of you who are dealing with surgeries, treatments, or rads.
Rita
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Aw, Susan, I hear you. My daughter too, at the same age. I was a mess (she wasn't any too happy either, having gone through the bc with me
). It was a benign fibroadenoma, very common at that age. The doctor (who had been my surgeon too) told me that (over and over) before he removed it, and even then, as soon as the surgery was over I told him to be sure to call us the moment he had the pathology report. He just smiled at me and said, "No, I won't call, because it's a fibroadenoma. I'll call you if it's anything else." Which it wasn't, thank God. The worry, though, is piercing.So prayers for peace, however you manage that. Keep us posted.
Ritajean, I too admire the early grade teachers, but I gotta say that the squirrely middle-schoolers are as exhausting as it gets. Kudos to you all!
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OMG the guilt trip Dad is precious, my Mom is pretty good too, I broke my knee last year and dhe called the pharmacy to have her 12 meds delivered, I had my brace off cause I was taking a nap, answered the door and the pharmacy had a 75 year old lady delivering, that woman gave me wholly hell! why is my poor Mom in upstairs apt and not me! I didn't explain that my Mom is a want to be shut in and I have no downstairs bath for her, She wouldn't go outdoors if she could, has a nice deck we built her that she won't use. When I waa doing rads and had miserable burn wounds she actualy said I am so sorry you have such a low tolerance to pain Susie, if she doesn't have the problem it is minor, My only sis passed with MS, she was heavy like my dads family, I am thin, I really resent her embarrased to be her Mom comments, and I recently lost 50 lbs and she compliments me all the time, she herself is down to 87 lbs and very proud of herself has severe osteoporis and scoliosis, a heavy smoker with COPD and uses a nebulizer and 2 puffers in between.
I made her a promise a long time ago to never put in a nursing home (her, myself and my sis all worked in a home at one time) I now have a broken foot and am trying to do the regular chores and hers also, I don't know how much longer I can keep up the 2 households, I have a 7 year old grand who lives with me, and keeps me running, . her Mom is bipolar with another chilld almost 2 , is being treated for it but is now in a manic state again, scary because her just as screwed up boyfriend is a cop caller and had her put in jaul in September, so I had her and the baby here for months until he talked her into going back to him, and now the circle has started again, I can;t keep going to court with her, finding her a job and trying to keep the kids safe, I am going to lose my mind yet, I have had cervical , colon and breast cancer, just waiting for the ball to drop again, and in the meantime trying to cope with my failing Mom is so overwhelming. Sorry to be venting, the doc just gives me stronger zanax that makes me sleepy, the sleep is great but I wake to all the stress. I think I am just losing my mind and cancer takes the stress and turns it into cancer, does that make sense>
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Maire, Jackie, Artsee, Jan, et al,
Thank you so much for your thoughts. I know the chances are good it's just a cyst, but where is the first place I went after she called? The "Young women w/ bc" forum, of course. Not my smartest move.
And, even though I'm in lots of forums here, this was the only one I wanted to share with - I knew you would say what I needed to hear, and you did. I do like the "fighting shadows", Jackie, and the Zen proverb.
My brain has been spinning since 1:30 this morning. This might be a rough day in kindergarten!
Susan
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Susan _CNY - Oh my nerves!! How can one person handle the load you are carrying?? Are you getting any help with your mom? I don't know how you do it. And, with all of your own health issues. You have my utmost admiration for keeping it together for everyone else. I pray that you are able to carve out a minute for yourself ever so often.
You're a saint.Susan
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Gentle HUGS for everyone. Prayers go up for all. This thread does move fast and miss a day and I am even more behind than my brain can process. Peace and Blessings, Nancy
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Susan, OMG and God bless you.
I was feeling down last night and was going to vent this morning. Now, after reading what is going on I think I will go quietly into the corner and count my blessings.
Love to you all and may God grant you continued strength.
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Oh gosh Jo. I don't blame you for being angry. Why can't they schedule it for this afternoon or tomorrow? When you do go in make sure you see the radiologist. I am going to pray that this is the result of a stupid technician and nothing more.
Hugs.
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Hi everyone,
I just discovered this thread and it's 14 pages long! That in itself is evidence that we do need a forum for older women--I come to the boards just about every day and I didn't find this thread until now, so there are probably many other women out there who would love to participate but haven't seen it. Also, this one long thread makes it harder for newcomers to find different topics (like hot flashes, which was discussed earlier) easily. If we had our own forum, there could be separate threads for various subjects.
I didn't realize until finding this thread how nice it is to converse with a group of women who all share my age range--I just turned 60 last month. I was first diagnosed at 54, had a lumpectomy and radiation, then was diagnosed in the other breast at age 57 and had a bilateral mastectomy with no reconstruction.
Moderators, I certainly take your point that you already have numerous forums. However, this one seems like a natural, especially given the existing forum for younger women. When I'm on forums like the Reconstruction forum, I have to remind myself that many women there are much younger than me and the loss of their breasts has affected them somewhat differently (not that I don't miss mine!).
Northstar, thanks for starting this!
Barbara
p.s. Given our ages, maybe you ladies would enjoy my blog entry on turning 60. Here's the link: The Big Six-Oh!
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Susan/CNY --- I think Jo is right. You do have so much going on in your life and maybe the time has come to re-arrange how things happen on a daily basis.. Would you qualify for visiting nurse or agencies that send people out to help with chores too difficult for seniors anymore. Would your Mom be ok with something like that. If not, could you maybe find someone ( I did this for the families of Alsheimer's patients ) to just come in and visit with your Mom a few hours every couple of days....have lunch or tea, straighten up a little....take that much off your plate and give you a little freedom to do something you would like to do.
Easy for me to say but if you don't take charge of your life and make some changes it will keep taking charge of you. Even if you can only make one or two small changes....anything that makes you feel a bit more in charge and less tossed by every wind that blows.
Jo, I am the quote lady on the thread that Rita started and everyone posting on the thread is from Illinois. Not sure how it got started.....about the quotes I mean, but I am a quote lover.....always feeling that they, the quoters', have captured exactly what I meant to say and with a lot less words. Somewhere along the way it became official and I leave a quote there everyday for the sisterhood of people who got thrown into the club no one wants to join, but we were not given that choice. These ladies, as well as collectively all of those who post on Bc org, saved my sanity completely and I say that from the bottom of my heart. I quit being that woman feeling alone and vulnerable who lost her trust and faith in life the minute ( oh what safety there can be in numbers ) I found out I had cancer for sure. It is all I thought about and down deep inside I knew that I needed to find others because my family and friends were not going to be quite enough --- even though they would have gone to the ends of the earth.
Once again...and with all the meaning and feeling I can muster, I thank God for all of you. You are all so important.....because we have all got each other's shoes on.
This is getting longer than I meant for it too.......but Kathleen --- venting is part of what this place is for so don't hold too much in for too long. However, it is a place to count blessings as well and know that I am counting all of you twice or maybe even three times. I may not know you but that doesn't matter. We all came to this party --- dragging our feet and yelling, but we came because it helps erasel the lonely frightened place we would be in if we were not here.
Jackie
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JO.....for you. I was called back after a month of hearing absolutely nothing and being told where the report was, but no one could find it ..... or take responsibility or ?????? Turns out they just had forgotten to do some diagnostic ( still working on figuring that out ) pictures. They said they had been doing the diagnostic films for a year and a half ( doing them at all was news to me ) and once they were looked at and compared.....I could go ahead after over a month let out the breath I'd been holding. I give you the same advice as Susan....which yes, is very difficult for me too....don't fight shadows and make inuendo's of things. It is because we are afraid that all the bad thoughts and scenario movies start playing in our heads.......perhaps an attempt to prepare for possibility...........but anything is a possibility about anything. If God takes you to it, he will lead you through it. Just see yourself as a tower of strength......because you really are.
Jackie
------ Welcome Erica ------ I'm going over now to read your blog. I'm a big 63 till my birthday in September.
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I just found this thread, and I am sooooo glad I did! I have only read the first 3 pages but will read a few each day so I can catch up with all of you.
I would think that since you now have 14 pages the mods would add a post-menopausal forum for all of us "older" gals! I agree that our issues are often different from the younger set.
If we had our own forum, some of the topics would be on separate threads, and it would be easier to find the wealth of information on these 14 pages!!!
Any way to prod the mods into adding this as it's own forum?
I am going to be adding you to my favorites. This is my first time on this site and my first post on this thread!!
Off to work right now. Will come back and post more about myself.
So glad you are here.
Pomegranate
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Hello again, I wanted to know who was asking about a Lat Flap....was it Liz? I had one and am very happy with it.
I have to have one more surgery on Thursday, but that should be the final step. At least I hope so.
Again I want to say thank you for such a wonderful thread.
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drag out some ice cubes, put in a plastic bowl, put on eye protection and throw them at a brick wall or tree out in your yard. One way to get some of that pent up anger out.
I enjoy coming here and helping put all things into perspective. Maybe it is an age thing, or having given myself permission to "be myself". As I think back, there were shadows, trial, tribulations, worries, stress, and it seems I cannot escape any of them. However, I let them go much more easily now and try not to obsess over them.
My mom is 95. Went into a nursing home 7 years ago. We had her doctor convince her she needed to do it. This was after flooding the kitchen and bathroom numerous times and leaving the stove burners on repeatedly. Thank goodness the water damage was minor and there was no fire. It was at the same time my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. My house was split level ( 4 levels) and although we had room for her, she could not do the stairs. Even stairs to get in or out of the house. I had all I could handle to get my husband to and from doctors. Ended up with a frozen shoulder from catching him so many times when he stumbled or fell.
Prayers, hugs, and smilies, Nancy
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Jo, I understand to a degree about your Dad. In my early life I felt like I had to be angry all the time to keep my family away. I felt like they were tar babies attached to me. I have the anger mostly under control with Zoloft because my anger is a form of depression. There are times when I get so angry I feel paralyzed and feel like the only way to release the anger is to throw things. Thankfully, those feelings only last a few moments and for the most part I am calm and can enjoy life.
Thank you Jackie for the concern. I really appreciate it. This web site has made me so aware of how blessed I am and to put things into prospective for me.
In my church we believe we were in the Spirit World before coming here and that our circumstances are preordained (but not predestined) to help us grow and develop and, depending on the cross we are given, must have been really strong spirits. My goodness, some of you women were amazons in the Spirit World! It is said that the Lord never gives you more than you can bear but after reading some of the posts here I have to ask "Lord, is it necessary to push the envelope so far to make a point?"
Hugs to the Amazons!
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Kathleen, my breath of fresh air ( hear the lovingly drawn out sigh ) upon getting back to this thread. I find we have some similar thoughts. I too, feel we are very old spirits/souls and that we choose to come here as opposed to staying in the spirit realm because with the adversity that is a part of the earth world we advance much faster. So, to that end, only the strongest will come here to as I like to call it "grow their/my soul". I think often we choose some of those hurdles/problems/situations --- yes I know the first thought is, but why would I want to have a disease like cancer ---- I don't have a good answer other than you know in the spirit realm when you are there why, but we don't remember being elsewhere so most times once here we don't know.....but I am confident that I am learning what I need to know to magnify my soul. Many will not be able to identify with these thoughts and ideas and that is ok. Each of us are exactly where we are meant to be though we might loathe it and look for anyreason needing something to take away the sting. We will all be fine..no matter or Que Sera, Sera.
To the Amazons.
Jackie
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Susan
I know you promised your Mom, no nursing home...but I said the same thing to my Dad...would never stick him in one...In Sept of 2007 he went in for a bypass on his leg...next thing you know, they're telling us he has liver cancer caused by hepatitis..Asked where he got that, since he had no girlfriends since Mom passed away 10 yrs ago, didn't drink, and definitely didn't do drugs..they had no idea...at any rate, he told me he wouldn't fight it, he was tired, tired of being lonely and wanted to be with Mom..so we had him in the hospital (he had fallen at home)...since he wasn't fighting it, they couldn't "treat" him and rudely told us he would have to leave. Being as both my brothers live in small apartments, and I couldn't take care of him, (turning him, etc), we had no choice..Dad was only in there for like a month, he passed away November 19th of the same year..but we couldn't have asked for better care...Maybe you could try something like Assisted living for your Mom? Those places are super nice.....it comes time when you have to stop and take care of your self, and the stress you're putting on yourself isn't helping any in your chemo fight...my onc doesn't even want me to try to quit smoking right now because of the stress...so think about yourself also here..
Erica! You do NOT look 60, Good Lord I hope I look that good at that age! You look about 40!
Deb
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Thank you, Deb! The small avatar hides the wrinkles LOL.
I'm also dealing with elderly parents, so can really relate to some of the posts. My dad, 88, has early Alzheimer's. My mom, 82, hasn't handled it well and is still in denial. A year ago, she was strong and healthy (and a seven-year bc survivor!), then had knee surgery which left her with nerve damage and it's been downhill from there. It's amazing how quickly someone so strong could become so frail. She and my dad are still living on their own (DH and I live nearby). My dad's in a wonderful day program, but my mom's now using a walker and has a hard time getting around. We're taking it a day at a time, but know that we may have to move them into some kind of assisted living before too long.
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HI Jo
I want you to know you are in my prayers!!!! I don't understand how the Dr.'s and tech's seem to think we don't know anything. Although I had a lumpectomy in November 2008, they didn't tell me until December 2008, that I had breast cancer. I didn't even know the stage of my bc until Feb. 2009, then I asked the Dr. He said he thought it was stage 1 and he would have the nurse look it up for me. She looked and said it was stage 1.
I was suppose to start on the Arimidex yesterday, but I have a terrible cough, so I want to wait until this cough goes away to start the Arimidex.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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You ladies are PROLIFIC!!!
I cannot keep up with you!!
Jo, I am thinking about you! Vent away!!!
Spring...
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OMG JO - I didn't mean to suggest you were angry with your Dad. I was relating to the "you can't do enough for me" and neediness that went on in my own family. I just used anger to keep them away. You took a more mature approach. I'm getting there, too although lately I've been the needy one.
Jackie - old soul! I know we agreed to our set of circumstances but honest to goodness I thought I was being sent to the Rothchilds or Rockefellows. On the other hand, I guess if I had been born into the lap of luxury, I might not have had the strength to battle breast cancer; but boy, I sure would have liked to have tried it.
I figure the Lord saved me twice from death and boy oh boy do I owe him big!
Here's to growing souls.
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Jo. so sorry you are dealing with having to return for a mammo. Whatever their reason lets pray it's a screwup at their end and NOTHING to do with you. The worry and waiting is agonizing though.
I go for mine the end of April and already losing sleep over it.
Gentle hugs.
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Jeeze Louise - I thought I lost all y'all!!! Looks as though we have our own spot, after all. Thank you, moderators...we old ladies gotta lot to say!
Susan, I have to agree with the others who have written about your promise to your mom. I went to bed last night with my brain whirling from all you have to contend with. What will happen to your family if anything more happens to you??? Meaning, you have to lighten your tremendous load somehow before the stress does you in. You have other body parts that don't do well with constant overload besides cancer spots!
Please. please consider any alternatives that will help you keep your ship afloat. Your granddaughter needs you to be there for her - you need to be there for you, too!
Susan
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Jo-5 - Bless your heart! Your life is overflowing, as well! I am so hoping the nonsense with the mammo gets straightened out.
And, yes, I too believe that we return to spirit and come back to continue working on a particular issue until we can get it right. Mine must be financial responsibility!!!
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Whew! I had one of those panic moments. Glad I found all of you.
Peg
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KMC ---- we do have something in common.....I was a Getty or so I thought. I think that must come from having been around the earth's block so many times --- I didn't have to guess how the other half lived.
I think I got saved three times....back in the mid-80's after 7 years of hell with what ultimately turned out to be a very HYPERACTIVE thyroidand well over 40 pounds of accumulated water in my body because I was dying and my kidneys shut down. But the right Dr. stepped in ( we get send what we need when we need it ) and fixed me. I sure had a lot of "whew" moments after that. Then once again in 2000.......came home from work and had a stroke. Dh was fortunately home....caught on to what was happening and after passing out in the kitchen.....he rushed me to the hospital emergency where since it was early on they were able to give me the TPA treatment that stops the stoke. Three days intensive care and 4 more on telemetry floor and 2 years of rehab later. Then 2007 and I find I have cancer. At first and with the biopsy it was Papillary which is a very slow indolent cancer that seems almost unable to harm you with it's laziness. I had a fantastic female surgeon and she lifted out a bruise near to the Papillary cancer . Rather than be satisfied that she had disposed of this she kept feeling and poking and proding and turned up another cancer tumor....much bigger than the first....ductal carcinoma. I felt many surgeons might not have been so eager to "check" as throughly as she. This earned for me 6 mos. of chemo and 7 weeks of radiation. So my life has been spared three times and the third time being the charm as they say.......
Susan/99.....hope you are doing ok today. You have been on my mind.
Jo.....your imaging center must be great at what they do.....I don't think I have ever been anywhere where only one film is taken. Even when I'm having single side...there is almost always two or three views.
See you all later.
Jackie
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Peggle, you had something "big" coming up today? I couldn't remember so went back but see but you've deleted posts. I hope all went well, sorry, can't remember squat.
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