Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Pam, of course, you are right, there's certainly no changing the past. I think I felt pushed all the way through treatment, and I know I felt that there were no other options. I did what I did. It's done. Going to a PS and displaying the girls, them taking pictures, talking about doing this or that, remove tissue, cut, scars ... just brought it all back to me almost bringing me to tears in there. I sure do seem to take things with a lot of weighty emotions. Think they got a pill for that?
Someone asked about books? I read the whole Savannah series from Eugenia Price. I think someone else wrote the Rhett Butler story, haven't read that one yet. I love all the civil war stories that are wrapped around Gone With the Wind. But the one they touted as the sequel, Scarlet, kinda sucked. I read magazines mostly for the pretty pictures. Read all the books on keeping Chickens that my library had. Then got ya'll all riled up about chickens. That was funny though and well worth rereading.
Hey Cindi, you won't find more love and support anywhere else, welcome back.
Man, taking care of aging parents, aging family sure can take a tole. Kinda takes the skip out of your step. And then they yell at you. sheeese.
Jackie, those were some wise words for a work break. Acceptance is key. ... now, which door does it open?
Hope everyone is having a good night.
~Connie
I think that I got most of my angry out and settled my being pissed off with a nice cold lite beer. Sure do wish for a lot of stuff. I do, I mean. It's just that a lot of stuff is kinda crappy right now. But I'm still not living with my mother, ever.
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HI again Connie,
I hope my previous post did not sound too unsympathetic. You have every right to be upset. I guess I just meant you've got to forge on and make things right now. So many things we would all do differently if we knew then what we know now! I feel as if I got very good advice by sheer good luck... did not know enough to ask the right questions. And you're right... no one tells you!
Keep trying!
pam
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Wow, I have not been here in a long while. I just want to say "Hi" and God Bless You All"♥
I lost my mom from BC almost 14 years ago she was my age when she was dx and fought for 6 years, she was only 64 when she passed. I do understand noni1 when you ask the Lord to come get her soon, I did the same thing. God do I miss her.
Hi Spar, how is your leg doing?
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Hi Connie....I too was to some degree captive of the system as far as my diagnosis. I had to go through Veterans Administration and on the whole I know I got excellent for the most part care -- was farmed out to one of the top surgeons for BC from Southern Illinois University with pages of credentials. Some of you may recall how I talked about the first time she came into the room -- my husband and I both looked at each other and a sense of peace came over both of us --- she had the healer's aura. So --- very much like Pam, I left her to determine the program. She was quite wonderful.....and I credit her with saving my life. I had the second un-discovered fast growing tumor in same breast not far from the extremely slow growing one. Some surgeons would have lifted out the old "bruise" it was under and gone on about the business of finishing up the surgery. She kept feeling, poking and prodding -- and lo and behold, found the second tumor. That one by the way is what actually gave me the 6 months of chemo and 7 weeks or radiation. The other, though it was an actual tumor was so slow and lazy I could have had it for years longer and still been fine.
So -- just to say that yes -- sometimes because we are stunned or maybe secretly terrified --- so much we may not even recognize it, we may not think about other options or really fight for them --- and that is if they are there.
And hindsight is always perfect sight isn't it ???? I recall being so scared and not really acknowledging it --- so my first weeks were a blur of trying to feel normal while I felt as abnormal as a person could. We are living our life plan -- even when it seems like such a bummer. There is rhyme and reason but we are not always favored with it --- but we will know and it will all make sense -- maybe not in this life, but certainly in the next one. I don't mind waiting a bit for that, do you ???
Have a great evening. I am done in and about to find a recliner to park myself in and watch something??? on t.v. till I get tired enough to sleep. Another big day tomorrow.
Warm, peaceful, happy hugs, Jackie
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Hi gals!
Jo, I really like your idea about sharing good book suggestions. I'm an avid reader and I'm always looking for a good read. I read mostly fiction books since I do so much researching for the question-writing business but every once in awhile I pick up a good biography. I've always admired Jackie Kennedy so my DIL gave me the book "Jackie and Bobby" for Christmas and it was quite revealing. I couldn't put it down once I got started. I just finished "Deadlock" by Iris Johansen, a very good mystery book and also "Twice Kissed" by Lisa Jackson.
Since I go to the library often to get new research material, I decided to scan the shelves of fiction books and pick up a book by a new author every trip. I've found some good authors that way! Lisa Gardner is another great author.
Spar...how's the leg doing? I've been thinking about you and hoping for the best!
It's been a busy day and tomorrow doesn't look any slower so I'd better get off of her. Hugs to all of you!
Rita
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WOW, hello PODS! Good grief, I am posting late again tonight. ERRGH-and Connie, I absolutely agree with you. I was offered a 'mastectomy with immediate bob job' to avoid having to do RADIATION-HUH? But I feel I was pushed thru BC treatment by a bunch of specialists who have no interest in actually talking to each other!!! As to Jane Austin-GUILTY-I'd rather watch the movies!! I love the lavish costumes, designs and staging and think I must have been there in a past life. OK, I caught "flashed" something about being careful about what we write? HMMM-not sure on that one yet and need more input. PM me if needed because I am lost. Awful day-pain is way beyond what I can tolerate and need to get scripts from doc tomorrow to get a break from this. I am on Acyclovar for shinges from the chemo but man, it is painful!! now have it on my face and am worried as I have had herpes zoster on my eyeball before. ERRGH-when does it all end???!! I need to lie down again. ((((((BIG POD HUGS))))) SV ps I just had the best homeade German Chocolate Cake-YUM and yes CB, I did delete posts yesterday. I put a long version of the 'seaglass poem' up but then was embarrassed. Funny I can write when I have an assignment, but very shy about my private works. And, just felt like I was getting 'manic' on the Board and blabbering for no good reason-so deleted it. XXXOOO to all, SV
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SV,
Shingles on the face hurts like the very devil. Take at least a 1,000 mg of L-lysine a day. It interferes with the virus reproduction so you immune system can kill the existing virus.
http://www.lef.org/protocols/infections/herpes_shingles_02.htm
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Morning everyone.
I think I am having another long day today -- sure felt whipped yesterday for some reason. Hoping to get furniture moved into the house today. BIL is making a home theater in his living room and no place to put a couple recliners and a couch......so I will be the lucky recipient. Just so happens that I was basically in the market for these things so it will work out perfectly. I very much needed replacements and wondered what I would do. Some of the quality in these small towns leaves something to be desired. Problem solved.
S.Vertical -- sorry to hear that you are in another big health struggle. Hope you are able to get something for pain from your Dr. In the meantime....if nothing else, I think you or someone could go to a drugstore and get some of that L-lysine. A great deal of the time the druggists are nearly as good as the Docs in helping you find something to address some issues.
Dusting of snow overnight -- very, very light so no problem that way, but it is pretty cool out. I of course, was hoping for Spring knowing it is pretty early. Many times we have had really moderate Februaries -- but I think maybe the global warming or something like that has all but canceled the balmy ( windows open for a few hours in afternoon ) days we use to see.
Well, onward I think. May as well get some production done.
Hugs, Jackie
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Yes to the suggestion that Jo and Connie show us some samples of their jewelry. It's wonderful to do anything creative. For several years my passion was making pottery. I had a wheel and a kiln and my own little studio. I also went through a period when working with stained glass was my major hobby. The problem with "making" something is you do end up with objects. After you've given them for gifts for a while, you end up having to sell them if you don't want a stockpile. I did some craft shows and sold my pottery, making enough $$$ to buy more clay and glaze material.
Now I've become interested in learning to play bridge. Any bridge players? I'm reading Bridge for Dummies.
Rita, DH and I like to watch Jeopardy. He's very good at answering the questions. I tell him he has a lot of useless information in his head!! The program must have a staff of people who come up with the questions. The categories are usually clever and catchy. I can usually answer some of the questions about literature since English was my major in college and grad school.
Sending out healing thoughts and hugs to those in treatment and also to those in the scary early stages of dx.
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Hello all it is melissa 1519 - change sign in after checking account thief- that was 4 pages of BC.org ago and some had asked what happened? Well we will never know who was trying to get my meager money but the bank suggested that I open a very small checking account with a separate ATM and PIN so that IF i got shopping on-line I could use that one and "they" the thieves, could not get to my real money- not that I have any but.....so I did that.
I have been super busy- my sis and her DH have been over for 2 weekends and we went to their house the weekend in between- had good visits and Isabella I wish you could have seen MIS PRISS Ling Ling ( Peke) who at 9 pounds became a "pack dog" with my sisters 4 Jack Russel's and one bloodhound! What a hoot - her huffin' and puffin' at the tail end of the pack- but going every inch of the way! Eddie the big mamas' boy sat right at my feet.
Work is busy, not too much doctor news- some talk of DCIS on this thread recently- I had dcis and was recommended rad after a lumpectomy but did not do that- i was told that rads after lumpectomy were "standard DCIS treatment"-
Got to run love you all, sorry I have been away so long.
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What the newest talk about DCIS is: that 5cm is the number that decides radiation or not, IF you have amble breast tissue and they can remove the DCIS with very large margins, reduce both breasts for symmetry, the docs are so pleased to get that much clear tissue that they don't feel the radiation is necessary, (overkill). the patient gets one operation, a bi-lateral reduction and lumpectomy at the same time and then No Rads.
What I don't know is whether this was something that COULD have been considered in my case which was 2 1/2 years ago, as I've been sporting DDs since high school, and I have the hunched shoulders, the strap indented shoulders and a tremendous amount of neck and back damage and pain from these big breasts all these years. I personally know all the pressures they cause, especially in the formative years.
I haven't had a doctor (since my first PCP left town when I was 20) that cared or had enough time to care for the whole body. The whole person of me. In the last 2 1/2 years, I've had more medical crappola than the previous 54 years together, and a ridiculous amount of physicians. As if they are the puzzle pieces I have to put and keep together and there must be thousands of pieces. (It's the hardly ever-ending puzzle), approx 100 pieces for every body part that there is a specialist for. It's maddeningly frustrating. I read how other women just LOVE their docs. But even the ones I 'liked' didn't offer more than very basic info. And the one I trusted the most, has disappointed the most.
I am disappointed, that I have to deal with the PPO telling me where to go and who I can see without financial penalty. And with the system for screwing itsself in the back and letting the drug and insurance companies gain total control. Now, for fear of being exposed for taking kickbacks we can hardly get free drug samples, that really help us, much less pens, sticky note pads, calendars, penlights, clocks, and free lunch for the entire staff at the Doc's office. And at the end of May, I'm facing a possible 6 months of no health coverage. Or pay over $700/mo. for COBRA extended coverage.
GRUMBLE... maybe I should have posted this on the bitch, moan and groan thread. Sorry, don't mean to hog the board. I just know that all of you understand and relate and you are so patient and giving. Helping me to grow. I want to be a graceful, kind and loving old lady (Melanie Wilkes). Not a grumbler (Scarletts sisters) that constantly bemoans all the aches and pains of life. Maybe I can grow up to be a cross-over between Scarlett and Melly, gracious and patient with SPUNK and GUTS. Strong, reliable, caring and loving, gentle. I dunno. I just know that this BC stuff was NOT IN THE PLAN, you know? And it's taking me a long time to get over feeling violated. I don't want to go into another surgery just for looks, expecially on my sensitive boobies, apparently they mean a whole lot more to me than I knew about and to consider having other people cutting them up for appearance purposes is just not who I am. Now, the physical advantages of having them reduced is tempting. They get in the way, they are heavy, hot and get rashes underneath in the summers, they are overexposed (to my liking) in most swimwear and some blouse styles and men would rather talk to them than to me which is the bottomfeeder of humanity, yet plentiful and a darn good reason to have a smaller cup size. But I didn't have to have mastectomy. I just didn't have a choice about one side getting cut into and it was horribly upsetting, distressing and I'm really glad and thankful I still have most of the original them.
Sure feels good to rant sometimes. I'm going for a swim. I want to thank each and every one of you that reads this for taking the time to care enough to read a crazy lady's woes.
SV - I hope you get some help for all that itching, TODAY. I had shingles once but it didn't spread like that. I had horrible hives once that started on the torso and spread all over taking three entire days to travel my body, but it wasn't open sores, THAT SUX.
Happy overcast and probably going to rain, Wednesday,
~Connie
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Connie, rant all you want to, we are here to listen.
Melissa, it is so good to see you on the boards again, have missed you lots, glad you got your financial things worked out.
Debra, bone is not healing I go talk to a surgeon Monday
SV, the grandkids loved the shark teeth, I think Emily is going to use hers is show and tell
JO, right now I am reading Lavender Morning by Jude Deveraux. I enjoy fiction and try to read some bible verses daily. Love Ted Dekker books and Dean Koontz.
Hope all you whales have a great day. Sending hugs and love.
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Spar, You've had such a hard and long time with that leg. I'm sending prayers for it to heal. I understand the hesitation to go to surgery, but it could be the thing to get you back on your feet with a lot of phys. therapy afterwards to (hopefully) heal and recover both legs.
My 82 yr old MIL did her 2nd knee replacement. We asked her not to for fear of losing her or her losing her mind cause the anesthesia takes her away for days, but she wanted it and did it. They moved her from the hospital after 2 week into a rehab/nursing facility for 30 days and then she went home. She was pretty dang miserable most of that time, and could have stayed longer at either place, but didn't want to spend the money. So she set her mind to do the PT no matter what, in the allotted time, and several more weeks of home PT. It's been about 4 months and now she's great as far as getting around goes. Home, these days is a small assisted living place that's not too bad. It protects her from an abusive/addict son and gives her a community. Wish my mother was as easy to please.
Isabella, I am sending prayers and good vibes your way. SO sorry you're getting the verbal venom that bitter old women can spew. It's hard to take, I know. But I also know that you are one strong amazing Lady (in Georgia that's a high compliment). You do so much, so often, for so many. All your animals needs are tended, your grumbling husband has his needs met he just chooses not to participate in his own care-taking. I heard you have a fine grandson that might be recruited to some regular chores that used to be yours and do thme your way, on your schedule to help out?? Ask him. When he's doing it right, ask him to ask a younger cousin to learn the ropes as well. They might live there on the farm one day and you need to accept the help while you have to deal with your aunt. Another alternative could be to send your dh to take care of your aunt and you stay home and take a bubble bath and have tea, made your way.
I think I lived in a Tea society in another life. I am considering adopting it as a good habit. tips?Oh, it's 3 minutes to 4 pm. TEA TIME.
~Connie~Connie
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Hi Jo5...I have used Picassa with Google for all of my pictures...That program is really good. And when I see a picture I like, I right-click, then "save as" and choose "pictures" where you want it to go...It will automatically go into Picassa....Then if you want to "upload" your pictures to an on-line album, you can do that, then share them with anyone, or just use for yourself! Also after I take pictures with my digital camera, they will ALSO go into Picassa...So I know it's safe.
Hope you're gonna be alright Connie...It just never ends, does it? I think it depends on the Breast Surgeon whether or not you have Rads after a Lumpectomy, right? Or maybe it is the type & size of the cancer...... I was told that I would have the Radiation, & she sent me right over to the Radiologist before the surgery......Although I know of a few, that have just quit everything after the surgery... And I know that's their choice, but it just seems like we gotta go a bit further, in preventing the cancer from coming back somewhere.....
Good to see you back, Melissa 5-1... ! And Spar, I love your little eye avatar! I always know it's you, when I see that!
SVMelissa, you must be feeling rotten again today, either that, or you are out playing on the beach somethere? Are the shingles still as bad as they were? Was it that chemo that started it all over again?
I deleted a bunch of my posts on this site, because I thought about other folks reading them... And even though they were "my life," I thought I I didn't have to tell anyone.....so sorry if I offended anyone.....
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Hey CB, the good thing about personal posts is that they are personal. And each of our own decision what we post or not. And we get to delete posts-that is why the delete button is there. And NO, you definately did not offend me with anything. Because you know I'd come over there and grab that redneck,gear-head of yours and lock you up so you could not watch Nascar-ever!! Sorry, not much to post. I am feeling really depressed. I think it is because the 1 year anniversary of my Mom's death is coming up. God, it was so hard to do her hospice care and I keep having flashbacks of it-then I remember the good times when I was a child and she was so very young. I really miss her so very much. And our pastor, who we love dearly, has been run out of the church by a contengent of malcontents with $$$$$ who simply do not like him because he is a humble country minister and not a GOD. He has decided to resign and we are broken hearted. I don't know,just feel really depressed. WAAAAA! SV
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It's been a long time Spar since you broke it. I will say alot of healing prayers and the surgeon will be able to help you.
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Hi everyone. Wasn't it great to hear from Melissa 1519. I was pickled stink --- thats for sure. Hope she is on the way and will be able to come back more often.
Connie -- it is ok if you delete. I think I have never deleted anything but then in the end I don't say much. I have done some deletes though when quotes I was putting in the blog showed up with funny lines and markes. I think some of the sites just are set up that way.
S. Verticle. Sorry that you are feeling as you are. Not only that you are not more well, but having to be sad about losing your minister. Seems no matter where you go and what situation you are in there is always a group of people who "exercise" control and you are forced to be the recipient of that control. It is not fair I'm sure but your minister is taking the high road and being ever so graceful about moving aside so that there is no damage to the Church and it's programs. I do say shame on them.
Well, I'm going to go. For the past couple of days I have had aches and pains where I don't normally get them, and now and then a queasy stomach. Hoping that it means nothing. So far, that is all that has shown itself, so not going to worry about it. It came and hopefully will go soon and all will be back to normal.
See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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SV: We give our cat lysine powder on her food for an eye virus she is susceptible to. Supposedly tastes like tuna....
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this is a test of picasa for me..so we shall see
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It worked..yippee
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OK PODS-I AM GOING WITH THE UGLY HAT CONTEST TONIGHT! LIKE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!! TEE-HEE SV
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Hi everyone - a quick stop as I woke with a burst of energy. 2 loads of laundry done, coffee break and then back to sorting and weeding out stuff.
Someone mentioned bridge - I play, but not in sanctioned games - too competitive and cut throat for me. Many places offer free lessons, or for a small fee - high school Adult Ed, Senior Center, recreation center. There are at least 2 games a week for me to attend and I could play every day if I really wanted to. Suggestion: take a class or 2, hook up with one person to be your partner on a regular basis. It is only a game and there is no earth shattering harm if you bid wrong. One of my favorite reference books is "Bridge for Bright Beginners" ... NOT that I am very bright...
Baby girl grand babe went home yesterday. I might get to visit on Sunday, once they get all settled in.
Hugs, Smilies, Prayers, Good Thoughts and Peace to all. Nancy
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Morning gals! SoCalLisa....Try double-clicking the picture you want, when it first shows up in your Picassa album...That will bring up only that one picture, & a little larger...Then right click to "copy" then you can post it with "paste"... I find something "new" about that program almost everytime I fool with it, & I like how you can "edit" any of your photos....Try THAT sometime!
SVMelissa, You are soooooo funny! Your posts just make me smile, when you "get-a-goin"...! Love your hat by the way....guess that means your box didn't get there yet? Cause I sent you another "hat" & a couple other "things"... And dear Melissa, you will always miss your Mom... just always. It's just tough to remember their Birthdays, & anniversary's... Just laugh, & cry, & "talk" to her when you feel her there....xoxoxoxo
Nancy....It's almost time for you to start having the most fun of your life! I hope you can become a wonderful part of that little girls life! I LOVED being with my Grand-sons when they were just born, & through all the years of growing up! You can buy her things, take her EVERYwhere with you, & set her on the table in her "carrier" when you two go to lunch...& feed her little bits of food, & just "cherish" every minute you have with her! And you can make one of your drawers a place for just her....to play in! The fun is just beginning....I read this once....If Id've known Grand-kids were this much fun, I would've had them first! Have a fun day!
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I'll have to give Picassa a try. A while back someone recommended Photobucket. I tried using it and unknowingly ended up with a subscription to something that resulted in text messages to my cell phone that cost me $$. I called Verizon and cut off all text messaging and had the subscription cancelled. I'm not a text messager. E-mail and phone calls do the trick.
Thanks GramE for the suggestions about learning bridge. I have a hand dealt on my coffee table. I'm practicing by playing all four hands.
Healing vibes sent out to those with pain and misery. Spar, I was so sorry to learn that you're not healing.
A good Thursday to all.
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I have been using photobucket and haven't had any problems with it but I like the idea of picassio since it is on your computer and can be online so I may change over
thank you all for your healing prayers. I am so ready just to do whatever I have too, it is too depressing laying here with my leg propped up for 4 months now. I did make it to church last night but it is not an easy process even getting me out of the house. I know dh is tired of taking care of me even though he doesn't complain.
19 year old grandson is now here in oklahoma, working on a relationship with his mom who he hasn't see in years. I do so hope it works out and also hope he spends a little time with his old nana.
We have put off for 4 months now eating at our favorite cafe that has all the crab legs you can eat, well we are going friday night, me in my wheelchair and I am gonna eat all that crab. YUM love it.
SV, better get to decorating that hat really ugly, maybe a fruit head or put every pin on it you have.
Love all you chooks of the POD
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Gosh, I did not recognize Melissa 5-19! Kept wondering where she was
I am slow to catch on! Too many bad guys out there trying to steal our good names, our money, or our stuff! And they are so smart... would that they would put their brains to good work! It's cold in Florida AGAIN. Stop sending us these cold fronts! At least it is sunny. I guess with all you are handling I should not complain. But we are supposed to have warm winters to make up for 100F/100% humidity summer days, like from May to October.
Went appliance shopping today... new fridge, hooray! A broken ice maker pushed us over the edge. DH does not like to repair things, thank goodness.
Wishing everyone a good weekend and sending healing vibes.
pam
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Spar, eat some crab legs for me! Glad you're getting out. It will do you good.
Jo, when I have time to fool with Picassa, I'll see if it works for me. If it does, you can e-mail me pics of your jewelry, and I will post them! When the time comes, I'll PM you my e-mail address. Same offer to our other jewelry maker.
Had a very nice day with my mother today. Drove her to her hair appointment and then we had lunch at a seafood restaurant.
Hugs to the PODs.
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Healing hugs to all. Not staying on here. I am having big time flu symptoms and in about an hour I was due to have a phone interview with another breast cancer person doing a dissertation. Hope I can last.
Anyway....going to go dump myself in a recliner for a bit. I'm praying I'll get by-passed bit who knows. Being having aches and pains since Tuesday.....and terrific exhaustion. Hope I wake up tomorrow just fine.
Hugs to my friends, Jackie
p.s. Carole, I bet you do fine with Picassa. I thought I would be hopeless but followed Jeanette's instructions and can easily post pics now. Hooray. I'm not as hopeless as I thought.
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AWW, Jackie - We ALL hope you wake up feeling just fine tomorrow too!
And, no, CB, it doesn't seem to end. My mom called, she needs someone to provide more care for her than the woman house-cleaner she hired off the classifieds, AND who, after working for her for only 4 weeks, asked for a $1,000 loan and got it. anyway... When mom calls ME and says she needs, I provide. Not myself tho, I called a service and signed on to let a CNA go tend to her. Meeting her tomorrow at 10. Mom has a beautiful home on the water (a river) with a gorgeous view and nicely furnished. She would prefer to live in a mansion on the ocean, but then she has grandious ideas.
~Connie
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