Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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MM: You can purchase monthly pet plans usually through your vet that minimize the cost of shots, etc. I have a plan for Regan that was more costly for this year since she needed to be spayed. Next year's rates will be far less but I saved several 100 dollars on her spaying alone. I don't mind the monthly charge because it is not much when compared to what a visit for shots cost. I also have one on Tawny that is funded by DD because she brought this kitten into the house vowing she would find a home for it. I already had 2 cats and did not need the extra expense.
We went to see a movie on a Carole King concert in Central Park from 1973 last night. It was quite good and it was interesting to revisit the time, the clothing and the music. DD and DSIL went with us so it was a nice night out.
They gave us tickets to a British tea and cricket game scheduled for this Sunday. I am hoping I can learn something about how cricket is really played and remember the young Welsh lad who invited us to play with him when we were in Porthmadog, Wales. He was playing by himself and spotted us as we walked with my parents, DH, and DD and DS. We had to decline and had a laugh about why he thought we might know how to play. This was also the first place I had seen loons in the wild. There was a lake right behind the town and it was full of loons.
Lovely weather today. Sunny but a bit cooler than the past few days. Last night was really chilly and I had a jacket on. Knees have really been painful so plan to go to the grocery store today was postponed until tomorrow. Doing Fitbit walking but not much beyond that.
As a mother, I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like to lose a son or a daughter. So I offer my sincerest condolences to Mary, Taco and Jackie. Years ago I saw a patient crying so I knocked on her room door and asked if I could help her. She asked if I could sit for a minute and I agreed. She had lost a child 21 years ago on this day and was grieving the loss. She felt that she could no longer do so with family or friends because they wanted her "to move on". I don't think any mother could do so. So I asked about her child and she told me how wonderful the child had been, why she missed the child and how there wasn't a day that some small memory was invoked. While I cannot identify, I can empathize. Her loss was palpable and real. So hugs to all of you. Loss of a spouse is also difficult so I want to include you, petite1, in this hug. May their memories be a blessing to you.
Good luck on finding a new friend for Midnight Louis and Minnie. I think Tawny is really lonely since she has no one to put her in her place now.
Hope all can enjoy the rest of today.
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Betrayal, thank you for mentioning my son. Even though it has been a couple years now and is much better I still have so many ambivalent feelings about him. He (Jeffrey Neil) was 50 yrs. old and had cancer pretty much all over. It took a day or so to notify us and so I felt guilty over that. I felt guilty for the fact that I was happy he passed in his sleep, but I was. In fact, he was expecting to help a friend moved some items the next morning.
So, I do not feel guilty that he kept living his life as much as possible, even entering a bike race knowing it would be his last one about three weeks before he died. We have a little tribute table with some of his favorite things there and pictures - one of him on his final race and I have the racing clothes he had on. He was brave and un-complaining and I will always feel bad that it was covid time and traveling for me was not possible. He was as stoic as most of the others in my family.
So thank you.
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We would go to Oregon to visit DS and family. I finally made a packing list online and kept it on my computer. I made changes depending on weather (sandals vs snow boots) for each trip. Printed the list but didn't save so I kept the original list.
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I'm finally a member of the grandparent club! DD#1 and SIL had a girl Tuesday evening. I can't wait to hold the little one. We hope to go the last week in May or first week in June. Air fares are outrageous!! I want to see if I can move my chemo from Friday to Monday so we can stay a week instead of 4 days.
Safe travels to all traveling.
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Happy Congratulations to you Karen. I'd be wanting to stay longer even than a week, but I understand. There is nothing like being a Grandmother. I wish you all the happiness possible. Best wishes to the new parents as well. 👌
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Congratulations Karen! I hope baby girl and DD#1 are doing well.
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Congratulations, Karen! A wonderful event in your life!
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Congratulations!!
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Congratulations Karen! Won't be too long until you can hold her.
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Congratulations Karen! A beautiful healthy baby girl, how absolutely wonderful!!!!! You are going to be an awesome grandmother!!! What will she call you? My grandchildren call me Grammy, but some other grandmothers I know are called Nona, or Nina, or Nanna.
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Feeling connected to the natural world connects us to the rhythms of life. Get away! Any way you can. Walk, drive, take a train or hop a bus to a peaceful place where you can enjoy the beauty of nature. . . . I am awed when I behold the magnificence that God has created all around us. God’s glory is everywhere: in a field of weeds and wildflowers; in the stillness of the woods with the trees arching over us; in a crystal lake lapping softly at the shore; in the rustling of leaves, the scamper of little animals. - Susan L. Taylor
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Another of my late days. Lots to do today. I started the day out with getting to the hospital lab to do my urine sample. Came home and then shortly afterwards went over to visit the puppies and water the plants in the lanai.
It is overcast right now and that is okay with me. I went out and sprinkled plant food on the ground that won't activate until it's wet - so even a little shower would be all right.
Hope you are all going to have a nice Friday. I think the rest of the day will be lazy for me.
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Congratulations, Karen
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Congratulations Karen!
Carole, I think the same thing has been happening to me, not sure it puts me back where I left off. Illinois post about puppies, I’ve never seen - just her mentions of going to see them. What puppies Jackie?Someone was talking about trees. As I settle in we noticed a giant tree that has been there for 32+ years that I’ve lived here, has been cut down. New homeowners of the property. Unsure why they did it, as it housed many birds. It must have cost them a pretty penny to get it taken out. I’ll miss it, I could always see birds going in & out of it from my pool deck.
Petite, it sounds like a good idea to get another kitty.
I saw the dentist yesterday for a cleaning. They found nothing wrong, so thankful, they’ll see me in 6 months.I went to our “walk in” orthopedic office today for my neck and shoulder; X-ray done on both. Good news nothing skeletal. My neck is a muscular issue and the shoulder he believes is a bicep tendonitis. Two scripts - a muscle relaxer and a NSAID. Took both when I came home with the scripts, and zonked out watching the local news. I have high hopes to feel the relief in 3 days.
I had a call from the endocrinologist office canceling my dexa scan set for Monday. Moved it out to June 2nd. It seems to me I’ve gotten a lot of doctor cancellations lately and a lot of them leaving the practice. This one, eye Dr, and the ENT too.I’m showering and getting in clean jammies. Enjoy the weekend!
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Welcome to the new baby, Karen and congratulations on becoming a grandmother. I loved buying clothes for my grandchildren and my DIL loved getting new outfits for them. Was able to find designer clothing at the nearby TJMaxx at reasonable prices and DGD as she got older would tell me what she wanted me to look for.
It is showering here and we are supposed to attend DGD's soccer double header today. Hoping it clears so they can play. 3 hours of watching her play will be a stretch because keeping 7 year olds focused for that length of time will be a real challenge for the coaches. At least she won't be able to complain about being "hot" because it is only in the 60's. We need the rain because it has been very dry.
We get to see more of the fox this year since it has kits and is looking to feed mom and them. Saw it yesterday afternoon when I came home from the grocery store and its territory is larger than I expected. It was some distance from my home then and today I saw it trotting through my backyard. It is really lovely and I love when it pauses to check out the surroundings because then I get a good look at it. Was unlucky this morning because no one was at the birdfeeder.
Hope everyone has a good day.
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Compassion is the ultimate and most meaningful embodiment of emotional maturity. It is through compassion that a person achieves the highest peak and the deepest reach in his or her search for self- fullfillment.ArthurJersild0 -
Cindy, about the puppies. I sort of babysit my former employer's puppies when they go somewhere. At their ages (the employer's) this isn't too often. The relationship developed many years ago now. Close to 12 years ago I went to Jerry and Jo's house to stay with Jo's mother. Mom was 97 at the time. Mom passed away about 5 yrs. later. At that time though I would still go over when they were gone and stay with their dogs (which I always call puppies) because they were and are a bit spoiled. In a good way though.
There are two Yorkies and one miniature Silver Point Schnauzer. They are always fun and so joyful when they see through the glass door I've arrived that they make it easy to just grab them and hug them. They run in the living room to wait for me to sit on the couch so they can jump all over me. Leia always has toys — and she usually brings one up on the couch with her. In fact, she keeps them stashed all over so that we go out back to the play yard she can bring one along then as well.
Going to be a real nice day today. Nothing special planned here. I may try washing some windows and the deck and table and chairs. No one else is interested.
Hope you all have a good Saturday.
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Betrayal, I too am supposed to be at GKs soccer games. It is raining steadily here now so I opted out of seeing my DGD's 10:30 game, but I'm still thinking of seeing my DGS's game at 1:30.
illinoislady, I seem to be missing posts here too, like others. I don't know if it is that I miss reading posts, or that my memory isn't what it used to be. I do want you to know how sorry I am for the loss of you DS! I simply can't imagine! I too am wondering about the puppies you see daily. I assumed they were the puppies you watched for a friend once before.
Cindy, I noticed a lack of doctors in my area as well. When DH needed an appointment with a neurologist, it was a 6 month wait. His next appointment isn't until September. We were told that six neurologists either retired or moved to other areas. When someone is already in their 80's, waiting that long between specialist appointments makes one wonder if it is even worth it. Personally, I think my DH should ask his PCP in June if he thinks it is worth keeping that appointment. He had MRI'S and no one from the neurologist office called about the results. My DH is more than capable of calling that office to ask about results, but he refuses to do that.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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I have trouble seeing really old posts and then missing newer ones. I’ve started to sign-off on a regular basis to see if that solves the problem. I use my iPad, so there’s no cache to clear, but this signing off seems to help.
I usually see NP except for my PCP yearly and my rheumatologist. I have heard of a few shortages of doctors in our area, for some specialties areas. And of course nursing shortages. The hospital has partnered with the local university to grow its nursing program. They have excellent NP and PT programs already. It’s a small community but growing quickly.Good luck Carole as you begin your travels up north. Have a safe trip.
Enjoy the soccer games today Betrayal. Hope the weather is good.Hope everyone is doing well today. We’re enjoying a warm sunny day, but expect some rain later today. Have a wonderful afternoon/ evening.
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For some odd reason, it seems neurologists and other specialties do not have portal access. Many specialties associated with MLHS did not subscribe to Epic medical record system due to cost and I find that their form of portal is sadly lacking with access to results of tests, x-rays, etc. I think waiting that long for results is downright criminal especially if there is required follow-up. The results should have been sent to your PCP so perhaps it is a good reason to keep that appointment. Any MRI I have had, I have been able to find results on my portal or through my PCP.
I find neurologists to be an odd breed anyhow and this is based on years of interactions with them in hospital settings. I finally asked one why, in decades of interactions, he never made eye contact with his patients or the staff. His answer was a mumbled vague reason that made no sense. I made sure when I was referred to a neurologist, it was not him.
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Mazel tov on the new grandbaby, Karen! We called both our grandmas "Grandma" because they hated the nickname "Bubbie." (Probably a vestige of their desire to leave the Pale & shtetl behind them and assimilate…up to a point, of course). My mom preferred "Nana," pronounced "Nah-nah" because that was Gordy's second word after "Mama." She called him "Tatteleh" and my niece "Mamashayna."
Jackie, Taco, Mary—so sorry about losing your sons. IMHO, nobody should ever tell anyone to "move on" from their grief. The passage of time eases the sting at different speeds and in different ways for everyone.
I don't "miss reading" posts—I just let events get ahead of me, and every few days I come back here and "binge-read" before posting my own updates.
Ever since starting the methimazole, Heidi's T4 levels have dropped from 7 to 2.9. The vet says 2 is normal for an adult cat in general, so in an elder-kitty 2.9 is pretty good. We halved the dose of the medicine, which makes administering it a lot easier. Although she's mostly a lady of leisure these days, she's still spry when she wants to be: when I throw her crinkly "fish taco" catnip toy, she races towards it, rakes it a bit and then looks up at me as if to say "aren't you gonna throw it again?" And the other day when I took a kielbasa out of the fridge to make a choucroute, I turned around and there she was on the counter! She hasn't done that before—must be channeling Happy's spirit. Still not ready to get her a companion kitty, as she's enjoying her diva status and my undivided attention—she never liked Happy or her older brother Matthew (who lived to almost 20). She was a hisser, swatter, growler and screamer extraordinaire whenever they tried to interact.
Last night was my Madison gig. The 3+-hr drive up (the extra hour was the usual Chicago weekend traffic) was relaxing once I got past O'Hare. A pleasant surprise was the lack of highway construction, and the $3.39/gallon tank of gas I got in Janesville—it's a dollar more down here. Listened to SiriusXM too—my favorite station is "Little Steven's Underground Garage."
Sparsely attended, as it was a fairly mild & dry night and the younger people wanted to bike, walk and dine on patios rather than sit inside a big community center (defrocked church) for 2 hours. Our fans are of our own demographic, and some are still skittish about attending indoor events. (My singing partner's wife was masked the whole time, even outdoors because of the Canadian wildfire smoke in the air, which we could smell; and two staffers kept their masks on too). Anyway, it went well—I was in good voice, I remembered lyrics, my fingers didn't cramp up on my new strings, and my calluses are starting to form again. And the drive back was only 2-1/2 hrs. (nonstop).
We have our followup album "in the can" and are considering pressing a small part of the run as vinyl. Need to find out what that would entail, and of course cost.
Unhappy news on the HK front. Her husband—controlling, stubborn and a brittle Type 2 for over a decade, who was to get a kidney transplant before the pandemic hit—has been on dialysis for 4 years (supposed to be 3/wk but at least twice). Lately, he has often blown off his appointments. She'd set them up, order the Medi-Car…and he'd pick up his phone and cancel them; sometimes, the transport would arrive and he'd refuse to go. He would wait until he was so sick that he needed to go to the ER at the V.A.—where they'd treat (draining liters of fluid, sometimes transfusing) and then dialyze him; they used to admit him and keep him overnight. No longer. They're really cheaping out these days—at least the Chicago-area V.A.s. are. The bureaucracy is staggering. They keep patching him up & sending him home because his scans and labs look okay. (Bob calls it "buffing & turfing," per the darkly comic novel House of God, required reading for all new interns). The last dialysis he had was May 12—first one in over a week.
Then Thurs. night—refusing to use his walker to try and go to the loo—he fell on his arm, the one with the PICC line; he agreed to go to dialysis yesterday and the transport picked him up. But then he called from the V.A.: they couldn't dialyze him because the PICC line was damaged by the fall and (get this!) it would take till next week to get an appointment to have a chest port put in. The ER refused to do anything further, and my HK had to go out to Maywood to bring him home (with a strong neighbor to help him out of the car, into a wheelchair, and up the stairs to the house). He announced he was done with dialysis, and was "ready to go." (His dad was the pastor at their previous Pentecostal church, which explains his equanimity about death). So today they called to set up home hospice—which requires he stop all curative and maintenance treatments. He may have a few weeks…or a few days.
Tomorrow my HK leaves for Alabama to attend her DGDs' graduations from HS & college—something she's been aching to do. She dreads being at home with him and also coming home from work to have to take care of him (our house is her "happy place"). He is fine with her being away till Memorial Day: their nephew & DDIL will take care of him overnight while the neighbor—who has a key—is "on call." If anything happens before the hospice admission takes place, they will call 911; EMTs will take him to the nearest "civilian" hospital, which ER will treat him. (I suspect that it'll do a more thorough & compassionate job). I asked her what if the worst happens while she's in B'ham—and she says if he "makes his transition, he makes his transition" (in COGIC parlance). It will happen soon enough now that he's on hospice. In any case, I will probably pitch in and help his sister (from S.Bend), nephew/DSIL, and HK with arrangements and the post-funeral repast when the time comes.
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Oh, Sandy, that is so sad. But it looks like that is what he has wanted all along. I am happy that you are willing to sit with him if needed.
Yestermorn, I think I only got one cup of coffee. Tippy and I went to farmer's market where I picked up an unplanted hanging basket. Then we went to the grocery store where I picked up items for two more recipes. I am filling my freezer with containers of pre-prepared meals. Then we went to my bike mechanic, where he took off the fenders. Tippy keeps getting his leash caught between the fender and the wheel. Got home and decided I would put off cooking until another day. By then, a headache was developing, and I decided that I couldn't do much about it, because I wanted to sleep at night. So, last night I didn't sleep much between the headache and unusual demands from Tippy. Now I am caffeinating and the headache is waning.
I got the basket planted with the last of the violas, and those left in the ground are dying.
The rest of the time between now and surgery I will be researching and writing, along with regular activities and a bit more cooking as I think of appetizing stuff, and use what I have made.
Tippy has been enjoying squeezing in beside me in the recliner. I made a pillow and covered it with some brown velvet. I have had that fabric for years, and not much left. I used it for backing for the framed lace collection.
One neurologist I have seen had mild CP. I am sure he instructed them to be gentle in dealing with my denial. I really liked him. He was terrible at keyboarding, though. I make many errors and watch my fingers, but I have finally built some speed. It has been a slow process. Betrayal, maybe that one had some autistic traits.
Cardplayer, lack of quality medical access is one reason why I am putting off moving until I have recovered from surgery. We have Mayo here. Down home, Rochester is a destination place for difficult health issues. People have to travel long distances wherever they choose to go.
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Sandy, so nice to hear that your Madison gig went well, even though sparsely attended. Very sad to read about your HK's DH. I don't think I could leave my husband during his last days, even to attend a family event, unless it was "hours" not "days." Who am I to judge, though?
Today the sun is shining and it will be a gorgeous day! I am so sorry for those in Canada dealing with the fires, and for those living in US who have poor air quality due to the smoke from those fires!
Progress is slow but steady on converting the office to a bedroom for my DH.
I have my Dexa Scan on Wed. I remembered not to put my vitamins in my pill case for the week. I can add them back after the scan. I forgot about not wearing clothes with zippers or buttons. (no metal) I will wear gym clothes.
I wrote another email to the patient advocate at my local hospital on Friday, about the Survivorship Care Plan I received last month. After receiving more mail that was not for us, (happens on a weekly basis) it dawned on me that the survivorship plan that was sent to me, could have been disastrous for me, had it gone to the wrong house! It was filled with personal information, including my weight, which I find to be VERY personal. Many former students live in my neighborhood, one is a next-door neighbor, one lives across the street. I wouldn't put it past the one next door to have opened it and told others about the information, if it had been delivered to their mailbox!
I pointed out the fact that I had NO knowledge of this Survivorship Plan, or the person who sent it to me, so I wasn't expecting it to come in my mail! My personal health information, details about my cancer, were in that "plan" as were the names and phone numbers of all my doctors! They make such a big deal out of the HIPAA Laws, yet they mailed information and didn't tell me to expect it. If they are going to "surprise" patients with plans like these, why on earth didn't they post it as a report on MyChart? At least I would have been notified of new medical content and I would have had to log in to read it!
I am so glad my treatments are done, other than the AI. The less I see of doctors, the better!
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"With repetition, your mind believes what you feed it. Feed it love. Feed it faith. Feed it positivity. As often as you can. If you don't, it runs its own course, which usually ends up being negative. You have to make the conscious choice, over and over, until it becomes default."
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Sandy, I echo the comments on your 'good' gig, but sorrow over your HK's hubby. It does sound like it is time to let go for him and he is willing. I think too, that while I would have trouble going anywhere thinking/knowing my husband was in the midst of passing on, some souls I think actually prefer to slip away alone as it were. Maybe this is something (no matter how crazy it might sound) that the Universe has arranged.
Wonderful of you to step in to be an assistant in time of need. You and your HK though have had quite an intertwined life and I bet it will be so appreciated that your thoughtfulness and care are so available at such a difficult time.
SIL and daughter are taking us out to brunch after they return from church. Then afterwards, we will all go to Goodwill for an hour or so of shopping. I know we will enjoy it all.
Had our late decided on barbecue yesterday because the weather was so nice. Everything cooked out on the grill after going to the meat market for sirloins. It was really fantastic. No bugs which made everyone happy. My family who migrated here love it save for the amt. of insect life that does so well here. In Calif. you just didn't see the insects that were there so readily as here. So it continues to be an issue for them.
I had forgotten that they were so abundant since I had been gone for many yrs. before our return, but I sort of fell right back into acceptance. My daughter lived all of her life in So. California so she has learned the windmill maneuver and uses it and Raid with enthusiasm all summer long.
I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday.
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Sandy - Congratulations on your Madison gig. Sounds like lots of fun for you and the attendees. Sorry to hear about HK DH decision to end his dialysis. Sounds like he’s at peace with his decision as is your HK. I’ve been hearing more about death doulas to help people with end of life. Wonder if hospice has them available as part of their services? Glad to hear Heidi is doing well.
Sounds like you’re getting prepared for when you’re home from surgery Mary. Getting meals ready is very helpful. I made meals and froze them ahead of time before my surgeries too. We’re within 2 hours from University of Virginia or Johns Hopkins and about 90 minutes from INOVA in Fairfax VA hospitals. So if we’re not able to find a specialist here in our small community, we at least have resources reasonably close by.Mavericksmom - glad you’re making progress on converting the office to a bedroom. I really need to tackle the files in our study and finish scanning some old photos. Maybe a rainy day.
BBQ with family sounds fun Illinois. We haven’t seen too many bugs outside yet. we did have a frost advisory 2 days ago, temps were 38 when I go up. Probably colder in the higher elevations.
I did spent a few minutes this morning trying to figure out how the cats got the air vent off the floor in the bathroom. I usually need pliers to pull it up. They must have seen a bug. 🤷🏼♀️ We did our grocery shopping earlier and will go for a walk after lunch. I make butternut squash and sweet potato soup for my dinner every Sunday evening. DH has a salad. We’re creatures of habit.
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Sandy, continued congrats on the gig. And the gas savings too.
On the HK husband, all I can say is everyone is different. My aunt who turned 95 on 4/18 is the last of her brothers and super close sisters (8 siblings). My mom, her sister has been gone 21 years. She’s told her daughters she wants to get off this train. She’s tired, wants to be with her family. Her vision isn’t what it was, can’t read books anymore. She was always active and she’s pretty much stuck in her apartment. Refuses to move in with either daughter, so they spend a lot of time away from home staying with her.
A neighbor in Florida had a severe stroke. Rumors flying, his live in girlfriend saw him sitting askew at 2 AM but waited until 7 PM to call a neighbor for help. He had cancer that had reoccurred and mentioned to my partner that he may not be here next year. SO I wondered if he and the gf made a pack, if you find me leave me. Total speculation on my part, but he was aware how bad he was with the cancer reoccurring. He was hospitalized, moved to a nursing home as his family prepared to move him back home to a facility. He passed away.
I too don’t think I could leave my partner awaiting hospice but I’m not in her shoes and won’t judge.
Enough morbidity, it’s sunny and 71. But all morning into afternoon was gray & gloomy. I went upstairs to strip the bed, and instead I crawled in it! I started with a sore throat Friday late afternoon, full blown yesterday and now my throat feels ok and it’s my sinus; what crap has ran down my throat, I’m coughing up. I made it 6 months in FL without a cold, I’m not home a week and bam. Enjoy the rest of today, Monday is around the corner!
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On the face of it, my HK leaving for AL (where she's from and her son, sisters and grandkids are) may sound callous—but nobody here on this forum knows the half of what her husband has put her through day after day since 2020 (when the pandemic shutdown cancelled the V.A.'s plans to fly them both to Iowa City for a kidney transplant & recuperation at U. of IA Hospital). While he was still employed (as a chef) and had private insurance, Bob was his PCP. He was always a spectacularly uncooperative patient—smoked, ate junk food, often blew off appointments, sometimes decided not to take his meds because he "didn't feel like it." Until his kidney failure accelerated, he was overweight. As a Vietnam vet (stateside), he began using Hines V.A. for his healthcare (along with the adjacent Loyola Hospital for stuff too serious for Hines to handle, requiring subspecialists). Had he been responsible about his health—especially his BP and Type 2 diabetes—he'd still have two working kidneys & bowel control; and not be weak as a kitten, alternately emaciated and bloated with edema. She hasn't had more than 3 hrs. of uninterrupted sleep for over a year—he constantly calls her down (she lives upstairs, he on the first floor for obvious reasons) to clean him and his bed up from when he messes himself—sometimes twice a night. He refuses to use a bedpan, bedside commode or even his walker to get to the bathroom. He's been manipulative and put her through hell I can't begin to adequately describe.
We've known them both since Gordy was a baby (my HK began as his nanny when I had to go back to work). But I haven't seen him since his younger brother's (also a T2 diabetic on dialysis) funeral down in S. Bend, IN (during a near-blizzard) in late Feb. 2020—a week before the world suddenly turned upside down. I suspect one of the reasons he's become so uncooperative about dialysis is that his brother bled out after getting home from a session, when his arm vein blew and the EMTs couldn't get to him in time. Perhaps he wants to go peacefully, on his own terms. But I can tell you (and so can Bob) that all too often family caregivers die of stress/exhaustion-related causes before their loved ones do. Happened to my uncle in FL who was taking care of my aunt who died after a 12-yr battle with Alzheimer's—one hired caregiver after another quitting until he made the wrenching decision to put her into a skilled-nursing home (she was too far gone for even memory care). He died of a heart attack a week later. She hung on for two more years.
My assistance would entail helping make the arrangements should the inevitable occur before my HK returns next weekend, and to assist her if it happens once she's back home. He has his neighbors to look in on him during the day and his devoted nephew and DIL with him overnight (they both have day jobs). So far, no change (knock on wood). The hospice application process hasn't started yet—perhaps his nephew and his sister (a CNA who lives in S. Bend) can persuade him to make an appointment for one more port-installation procedure.
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Sandy, that is profoundly sad!
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ChiSandy, I agree with your HK's decision to attend the family celebration and her decision to not be guilt tripped into not attending. She has been there through thick and thin and his decision to stop all interventions shortly before this event could be his last attempt at controlling her. What is sad is that she has been placed in this position in the first place. I hope she has a great time with her family in a time of happiness.
My DGD had a double header in soccer on Saturday and they won both games! She was so thrilled and it was nice to see how much progress she has made in being an active participant and on her focus on the game. She really seems to enjoy being a member of a team and since they scramble the players each week, she is adapting to that as well.
Yesterday we had our "Christmas present" from DD and DSIL. They had made the winning bid on a 4 person British high tea and cricket game at the Merion Cricket Club. The sponsor is a member of the club so we were essentially his guest for lunch and the game. He decided to forego the British high tea in favor of lunch or brunch and once he ordered his meal we understood the change. He ordered both a cheese omelet with bacon and sausage plus a waffle breakfast and ate every bite. He normally plays cricket but is recovering from a broken hand sustained during a soccer game. So he did explain the game of cricket as we sat on the covered patio having our meal. It was a very nice experience and he gave us the grand tour of the club house (built by Furness) and the extensive grounds which include a pool, pickle ball and tennis courts (both indoor and outdoor), the cricket fields which will be converted to lawn tennis in about 6 weeks and the grounds which were so elaborately landscaped I was drooling. I was playing a mental game naming all the annuals I saw.
I wanted to take a few of the purple Japanese irises they had since they will reproduce readily. I have white ones and they need to be thinned again as do my Seal of Solomon. I had given some of the white ones to DD and DSIL and he was remarking about how much they have spread in just 2 years. I was given mine by a patron at the hairdresser I used many years ago. I told them I would take a few and then no one else wanted them, so it was take them all or they were going to be trashed. It was only about a dozen then and now I have extensive beds of them. Now I will look to see if the local nursery has the purple ones.
Hope everyone has a nice day today. We are sunny and going into the 70's. I want to pot some more flowers since I was able to snag some geraniums at Giant for half price. Not sure why they were reduced but it worked in my favor. One is a mystery pot as to color since it was not yet in bloom and the others are white. They also had spikes and a hanging vine for a really great price so I bought some for DD as well. They were less expensive than what I had been paying at Home Depot where they were at least double the price. Saves me a trip to Produce Junction to get geraniums and sometimes they don't have them after all. Patio flowers are a work in progress and something I just love to do.
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