Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
-
We came here because the earth is abundant and alive--a rich,
rich field of lessons for us to learn. The lessons are not comfortable,
because if we weren't challenged, it would mean that we didn't need
to learn these lessons of the soul: courage, patience, faith, learning
to love, embracing eternal life, and the most magical lesson of all:
It's not what I do, it's knowing I am. We are here to learn about love,
to let others love us, to discover that love is a living force--real,
broad, encompassing. I have also learned that universal love is there
for me, and will be there for me, if I'm open to it and believe in it.
Melody Beattie0 -
Very overcast today, and likely we will have a good rain from it. Actually, we are a little on he dry side so not a bad thing.
Yesterday was my lost day. I didn't apparently get much rest the night before although I slept all night. I was feeling exhausted and just un-well. Nothing specific, mind you. Just not well. I napped through the day yesterday and the night too. Wondered if I could sleep when it was time but I did fine. This morning I am feeling just fine again. Strange to say the least.
Mary, glad you will be able to go and be much nearer some family members. There can be much different weather depending on which part of Illinois, but I guess having been born and raised here and transplanting later to a couple of places that seemed like they may be long termed, if not forever, I find it very comforting to be living now in the same town where I was born so longgggggg ago. I hope you will find lots of comfort to be where family are even if not the actual place where you were born. Family will know others in the area if they can't do something and hopefully you will end up in a circle of some comfort.
I know the I am sick of doctors feelings well. The last three or four yrs. just seemed to have ganged up a bit and just when I think I can slow down — something else comes along. I do hope though that once I get a bit caught up this time that I'll be on a more normal path. I may never go back to just once a yr for the Medicare check-up so to speak. but I'd like to look at my calendar and have ways less days filled in.
Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.
0 -
The concert Friday evening was delightful. The band played mostly 70s and 80s classic rock music, a wide variety. They played for 2 hours with no breaks. It was a little on the cool side, but still nice enough to be outdoors. We’ll be attending 2 more shows this summer, missing one due to vacation. We’ll probably try to arrive earlier for the next ones and DH can get dinner from one of the food trucks. I’ll bring yogurt and banana.
I attended the local support group yesterday where the guest discussed the tools she uses for cancer healing - reflexology and energy work. I may followup with her for a foot reflexology session to see if that helps with my neuropathy.
Are you doing pre-op PT Mary?Weather has been warmer, but low humidity. It’s much less smoky and air quality has improved. We could really use the rain though.
I hope everyone is doing well.
0 -
Cardplayer, the concert sounds wonderful! I must admit I missed out on a lot of the 80's, the decade my children were born, as I was more likely to be listening to "Rubber Ducky" than the latest music of the time. Growing up in 50's-70's I guess I jumped over the 80's and went right into the 90's. I am also intrigued by your support groups. How did you find out about them?
I didn't do much today because I didn't feel well. I did water the flowers this morning, but no energy to plant any more or do much of anything else.
I went online and was thinking of getting tickets for a Phillies game when my DS and family come for a visit, but a large section of I-95 collapsed this morning due to a train, oil tanker fire. I am not sure it will be repaired by the time they visit in July, so I decided to hold off on that. Yes, there are ways to get around it, but I'm not sure I want to do that.
Might take them to Pennsbury Manor. I haven't been there in years but it would be fun for the grandkids. I think there will be a "beer making" exhibit on a day they are here and both my DS and DDIL are very much into craft beers. It would be fun to see how the colonists made it.
0 -
Cardplayer, I have been doing pre-op exercises consistently for the past few months. They told me I am in fine shape, so I have been slacking off. But I need to get back to it.
I got a pooper-scooper and some aluminum straws from Amazon today. Took a look at my e-mails and account, and realized that I had also ordered a breadmaker paddle. Took a look in the big box the scooper came in and found the paddle. I don't know if my spare breadmaker will be an item they will want at the sale. I'll wait a while. Nice to a spare if you are like me about your taste in bread.
I have a cousin who has a large mass in his colon area. He has also been having backaches. I don't think it is doctor failure, he is probably on the autism spectrum and resented the suggestion of such an intrusive procedure as a colonoscopy. Doesn't look good. Prayers for him going to Lourdes. He caught the anti-Catholic bug, and would probably resent it if he knew—- so he won't.
0 -
Spent the afternoon working in the crawl space - throwing out things from the kids that I saved but never looked at - birthday cards, school work, consolidating and giving away and old changing table and port-a-crib. Threw the crib away a couple weeks ago. Found two boxes under other boxes that had tax stuff, duplicate checks etc from 1995! Talk about out of sight, out of mind. My goal this summer is to purge "stuff" from the crawl space. Keeping kid toys and books. I'm sure this will keep me busy all summer when we are not traveling!!! Need to stay busy.
We've had a rainy 4 weeks - that's okay as I'm not ready for the heat. And we've managed to get 2 walks in most days.
0 -
Karen, throwing out cards and papers my children made is the hardest for me to do. I call that "emotional cleaning!" It feels like throwing out a piece of my kids when I do that, but honestly, there is no purpose for keeping much of it. I had whole boxes by grade level, of my kids things from elementary school, in my attic when I started doing this type of "cleaning" twenty years ago. I still have several boxes of miscellaneous items to go through, mementos from years gone by. I allowed myself to keep one small box. It contains letters and cards, from the day I was born to recent years, including things my grandkids made me. I took pictures some things that were special before letting go of them. It seems bitter sweet doing that kind of de-cluttering, but it is important to do.
Mary, I am so sorry to read about your cousin! Who knows why these things happen? I feel the same about my nephew and the ocular melanoma, and my having breast cancer three times. Why? I think things just happen and it doesn't matter why as much as it matters that everything that can be done to treat it, is done.
I woke up at 2 AM, couldn't fall back to sleep, thus the reason for this post at this hour of the day. I'm meeting my sister for coffee later this morning. Then back to de-cluttering. Does it ever end???
0 -
Yes, I have de-cluttered as much as I could, except for that spare breadmaker.
A colonoscopy could have caught it much earlier, though. 😥 Yes, how we react to such things is so important. I wish I had known why his brother hadn't made his annual visit here, though.
Karen, I am happy you are feeling well enough to keep busy with that.
0 -
Oh Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the winds, life to all the world, hear me: I come before you, one of your many children. I am small and weak. I need your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset. Make my hands respect the things you have made, my ears sharp to hear your voice. . . . Make me ever ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes, so when life fades as a fading sunset, my spirit may come to you without shame. - Chief Yellow Lark
0 -
DH and I have been decluttering files this morning. We’ve finally had some rain this morning and my back is bothering me. So rather than cleaning, I’m going through old file folders and purging. I still have some old drawings and report cards of the kids. I’ve decided to move them to a desk drawer where I store old school photos. Just can’t get rid of them. When we cleared out our crawl space at our old house Karen, we spent a year cleaning stuff out. Talk about back I breaking.
Mavericksmom - The support group information is found on the cancer support website (part of the hospital). They have a variety of services offered, including support groups. We have a fairly large hospital system for a small town. It services a wide area though. The oncology center is part of a national chain, but in in the same building as the breast center in the hospital grounds.
Sounds like you’re well prepared for your knee surgery Mary.
Have a wonderful day.0 -
We finally got some long awaited rain and I hope it continues to pour since we are 6 inches short of average rainfall this year. It has eased off a bit but I don't think the storms are over yet just the first wave of the storms.
I followed orders to take it easy for 48 hours with no standing for more than an hour, no exercise and to rest. Weekend sleep was rocky but last night was horrible. My back started to hurt on Saturday so I dug out the Lidocaine patches and my TENS unit. Not much relief but was hoping I could nip it in the bud. Last night back and both knees kept me awake for most of night. I think I slept in 30 minute shifts but Fitbit reported only 2.5 hours of sleep. Leo, my bedroom cat, decided to get a case of the zoomies around 3:30 AM and I was ready to clobber him because I had just dozed off. So today is another day of resting up because I am exhausted. Hopefully I will sleep well tonight. I did not expect absolute relief from injections on Friday but didn't expect to have this much pain either. It is distressing to lose 3 days at my age. I had plans for these days which were to knock out some tasks I have been postponing in favor of yard work and there is no way to recapture them. Worst is when you ask MD for pain meds they want you to take OTC such as Tylenol which in this case would do nothing. Still can't fully extend legs so I am wondering if I have new effusions developing. The last time I had these injections, he had to drain the joint weekly and amounts did not really diminish. They were not as large as last ones, but still present.
Feel sorry for those that need I-95 for travel and work. The road will most likely be out for many months and side access roads cannot handle the volume that I-95 did. So traffic for them has been a nightmare and those that decided to go to Jersey found themselves stuck in traffic jams from car accidents there. They are trying to beef up public transport to accommodate increase in passengers. Glad my work commute was only 4 miles and about 15 minutes if I stopped at Wawa for coffee. I was always going the opposite direction than rush hour traffic so that was a blessing.
Hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.
0 -
Coming late and it has been quite a day. I got a call in the morning from my friend Jo. Dr. B, (her husband) is ibn ICU here in very serious condition with some sepsis. Jo told me with a sigh that she didn't think she had any tears left she had already cried so much. His adult children have all been called home. One is in Singapore and won't make it till tomorrow. Another (female architect) arrived this afternoon from Arizona. The other son (playwright in New York) was coming in an hr. after his sister.
I spend a good part of the day at the house caring for the puppies and what I could. I will be returning tomorrow. If you are praying people, I hope you will include my wonderful friend. I am quite nervous that we arrived at his children needing to be called home on this incident. He is a beautiful soul and is Jo.
I am hoping that he makes through. I was certainly taken by surprise as I'm sure his family was as well. He is 85 and weathered many storms having had diabetes his whole life long.
Nothing much else today — at least there was some sun to help with the negative health news.
0 -
I just prayed for your friend snd his family Illinois. I'm so sorry he ( and you as friend) are going through this.
0 -
Prayers also here.
0 -
I had a wonderful trip. The best part was the sunset cruise.
2 -
Sending healing vibes to your friend Illinois.
Love the photo Petite.
Sorry your knees and back are giving you so much pain Betrayal. I hope rest and Tylenol help reduce your pain.
Maybe it’s the weather, but my back has been giving me issues the last couple days as well. I was glad that it rained all day yesterday, so that I could take a day off from our daily walks. I did stretching and extra heat/ice. I slept better last night. I do have some tendinitis in one of my thigh. Probably need to stretch my hamstrings before I walk. DH and I will probably skip walks around the lake which are a bit more strenuous until my aches and pains are better. I find if I don’t walk, my neuropathy is worse.
Beautiful day here. Sunny and 70s. Heading to REIKI therapy shortly. Hope everyone has a peaceful day.
0 -
Sad news about your friend, Jackie.
Beautiful photo, Petite. Glad you enjoyed your trip.
Betrayal, I hope you get some relief from the pain and sleeplessness.
I saw a picture of the I-95 damage on the news.
We have been enjoying some cool weather for a few days.
Happy Tuesday to all.
0 -
Rested yesterday and slept well last night. Pain in knees and back is less this morning and I hope for the rest of the day. Pain is exhausting.
Illinois, sorry to read about your friend and hope that prayers will ease his struggles.
petite1, I love sunset cruises. They seem to just bring joy with the colors they combine and creating such a peaceful exit of the day. Beautiful photo and glad you have a pleasant trip.
carole, nice to have cooler days especially if they are sunny.
Have dentist appointment today and want to run some errands. Need my hair trimmed and DH's birthday is Friday so I need to get him a card.
Former nursing school classmate contacted me about coming to a mini-reunion at her home. She has held these before but I have been unable to attend. My BFF from nursing school is going so I may decide to attend this time. Normally they have been held at homes over 2 hours away and I don't like driving alone in unfamiliar territory late at night. This one is about 15 minutes from here so is manageable.
We got a good amount of rain that still doesn't erase the deficit but now planting and weeding should be easier. Have a few plants I need to get into ground so may try this tomorrow if knees and back cooperative.
Sun is out and it is supposed to be cooler today. Hope everyone has a good day.
0 -
Illinois, so sorry to hear about your friend's DH! Said a prayer for him, and her!
Petite, add me to the list of those who loved your picture! What a fun experience that must have been, I could almost imagine being on that sunset cruise! Beautiful!
Cardplayer, I hope the REIKI therapy made you feel better!
Betrayal, glad you had a good night sleep last night and are feeling better. I hope your dental appointment was uneventful. I used to take it for granted that my dentist would say "all is good, see you in 6 months!" I don't take any health care visit for granted any more. The nursing school reunion sounds like fun! Hope it works out that you can go!
My DH and I took our old computer, two monitors, a keyboard and a printer to the electronics recycling about 15 mins from us. All went well, nice ride but I got a text from a co-worker on the way home. I didn't read the text until I was home, and was shocked to read that one of my former co-workers passed away. I had known him a long time as he started working for the schools a few months before I did. He was about 10+ years younger than me and had many different jobs. I think he started out as a bus driver, then became a building aid, and when I retired, he was the head custodian in the school I worked at. He was and EMT too. About four years ago his house burned down, but he was able to have it rebuilt. He left behind a wife, 2 sons, and at least 2 grandchildren. The saddest part is that the only information I received was that he took his own life.
Carole, I am loving the cooler weather too! Gorgeous day today, opened my windows, glad to get outside!
0 -
And when we come to think of it, goodness is uneventful. It does not flash, it glows. It is deep, quiet, and very simple. It passes not with oratory, it is commonly foreign to riches, nor does it often sit in the places of the mighty: but may be felt in the touch of a friendly hand or the look of a kindly eye.
David Grayson
0 -
Thanks to all who interceded on my friend's behalf. I must tell you — I do pray, and actually quite a lot, but I pray to the angels in the Universe to direct my supplications for me. I say this only because I've spoken before about not being very religious and not going to Church, and I don't.
I am happy to report all your help did a lot of good. Dr. B is not out of the woods and is going to be transferred today to the big University Hospital across the river in Missouri. He got the first (and much shorter versioned) dialysis yesterday and it did so much good his whole family was able to come to the house and sleep there overnight. Today he was to get a much more involved dialysis before going by ambulance to Washington University Hospital across the river in Missouri. Touchy yet, but a lot of pressures relieved. Much gratitude for all your help. I hope he will get to come home fairly soon.
Petite, it sounds like this cruise if part of just what you needed. Count me in as loving the picture as well. I was struck by how close to the ship the water seemed to be but I know it was camera angle mostly. Still, I felt the need to pull in breath a little bit when I got the first glimpse.
I hope everyone can get good sleep. After Friday night and my lost day on Saturday (I mentioned sleeping all Friday night, but feeling like I did not rest) and dozing off and on thru the day Saturday and the evening hrs. while not feeling particularly good, I was reminded once again of how important RESTFUL sleep to our wellness and ability to not only heal but co-exist with good strategies of pain management as we do. Seems like sometimes it doesn't take much to alter the balance.
It has been nice the past two or three days if a mite cool overnight and in the mornings. The past couple of days we have even had the somewhat gentle breezes we grew used too for many yrs. Just enough to keep you cool, but not too cool speaking of balance. This is the part of just after Spring that is so nice and makes summer so welcome. Of course, like all good things it usually doesn't last as long as you'd like, but it sure tantalizes you will the good life while it is here.
Hope you all have a beautiful day.
1 -
Yesterday I set the alarm on my clock for 4:00 so that I could take my morning meds on time rather than wake up with pain and not be able to get back to sleep. Although I have never set the alarm since I got him, Tippy misunderstood. He continually tried to get me to wake up and get moving from then on. I turned the auditory alarm off and reconnected the shaker (it also has a flashing light). Hopefully that will work. The auditory alarm is too weak for me anymore, anyway.
This morning I moped around but decided to get busy this afternoon. It really does help. Another cloudy and cool day with occasional sprinkles. Been busy all afternoon.
Jackie, glad our prayers helped. Sounds like your friend is getting better. MM, prayers also for your work friend and his family.
1 -
Jackie, good news that the doctor may be getting some extention to his life.
MM, sad news about your co-worker. A suicide causes such guilt in loved ones left behind. My father never got over the suicide of his much-loved brother. He kept wondering if there wasn't something he could have done.
I have a big job (big in my mind) to accomplish today. Cleaning the carpet in the 5th wheel using the carpet cleaner I bought this past winter and used with success in our house.
I also have a hair appointment at 2:30 to get a trim.
I don't see suicide in my future but I am experiencing melancholy about aging. It's not easy to realize that most of your life is behind you. I have not shared this with anyone before now. This is one of life's stages for those who live long enough to reach it.
The smoke from Canada is back.
Wishing everyone a good Wednesday.
1 -
Slept well. The shaker is between the mattress and box springs, and it worked. Tippy started bothering me, but I used the off command.
Eager to get to the meeting.
0 -
Planner pages I bought this time start with Monday, and not Sunday, which means I end up being off by a day with some appointments. So it means I have missed some but fortunately the dental appointment is today at 2 PM. Will never buy this brand again since I want my week to start with Sunday. I have my next Orthovisc appointment this Friday and am looking forward to possibly getting some relief with second dose and most likely drainage of more effusions.
Back pain is episodic and I had one quiet day until yesterday when I decided to start on my DD's old room closet where I store summer clothes. I really did a massive purge of mostly capris that I can no longer wear since they do not cover gap between top of support hose knee highs and bottom of pants. Some I will pass on to DD and the rest will go to Purple Heart. She can take the smaller sizes which I have sorted out. So now I need to bag them up and get them out of the house. Moved jeans to this closet as well as the collection of fleeces and jackets I have from our travels. Moved remaining summer items to main closet.
I am only about 1/3 done in the closet since I store travel clothing here as well as new summer sandals. Need to sort through sandals since knees will keep me from wearing some that are heels. Between Covid pause and retirement, I have not had the opportunity to dress as I had. Hope to finish closet on next attempt tomorrow.
Carole: I agree with your musing about melancholy on aging. As much as I would like to achieve the age of one of my parents, 90 and 96 respectively, the pain I have makes this not so desirable.
MM: Sorry to hear about friend's suicide. The death of a friend is sad and hard but the fact that it was suicide makes it even more painful since we never know the "why?" May his memory be a blessing to you and help you to focus on the good times.
MCB: Glad you found a solution to Tippy wanting to play at 4 AM. Brings back memories of when my children would also wake and think it was play time at some ungodly hour. Cute and you do love them but don't really like them at that time.
Illinoislady: Glad your friend had some signs of improvement from sepsis. If nipped in the early stages, recovery from sepsis is possible but recovery can be very slow. So I will continue to offer prayers.
Overcast today with rain predicted for later. We need it to get out of this drought cycle. I'll take it so we do not have to ration water later in the season. Hope everyone has a good day.
0 -
Glad to hear about your friends improvement Illinois. Sending him healing vibes and continued good wishes for good health.
Mavericksmom - sorry to hear about your friends passing. An awful tragedy for his family.
Mary - glad you found a solution to keep Tippy from waking you early in the morning. My cats were rambunctious early this morning. Just excited about something outside. It woke me though.Painsomnia kept me awake the rest of the morning. Seems my back pain is lingering. I stretch, ice, use heat. Now my thigh I warm, probably due to back pain. Ugh. I’ll give it till Monday and if I can’t kick it on my own, I’ll get my PCP to write me a prescription for PT.
Meeting my brother, SIL and aunt for lunch today. It’s nice that my aunt can join us today. Have a wonderful day.
1 -
A few weeks I put up a sign "Please be quiet at night (9:00 PM to 7:00 AM). I may be half-deaf, but my guard-dog isn't." It was effective.
0 -
I wish I could say I could count the number of people I have known who committed suicide on one hand, but unfortunately, the number exceeds both hands! My uncle shot himself in the head in a park outside of Denver, Co, in 1977. Two of my cousins, a co-workers husband, a former principal's son, a guidance councilor's son, my co-worker, and at least 7 former students, have taken their own lives. The part that really got to me about my co-worker's death, was that he KNEW how suicide affects the families and friends of the departed.
I went through years of "could have, should have, would have" moments after one particular student I was close to, took his own life. But the minds of those who chose that path are so complex, and reality is if there is a strong enough will to end one's life, they can do it.
A large part of my sadness about suicide is that this very website, BCO, and others, are full of countless people trying to LIVE! How ironic that some are focus on the opposite! As the saying goes, "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!
Betrayal, I feel the same about my daily planner and my refrigerator calendar, they need to be Sunday-Saturday! Sorry you are still dealing with so much pain! I really hope you get relief soon!!!!
Carole, I understand about your feeling on aging. It was unexpected for me when I had moments, mostly in the middle of the night, when I worried about aging and dying. I decided it definitely is something I need to take one day at a time. I will turn 70 in August! I never thought I would live to see 60. I absolutely believe in QOL vs quantity, so now I don't worry about how long I will live, but I focus on ways to live life to the fullest, whatever that may be. I do think more about safety and "ease" for just about everything I do.
Mary, glad your sleep solutions are working. Do you have a pre-surgical meeting? I missed your post about what the meeting is that you are eager to go to. Hope it was good, whatever it was!
Cardplayer, hope you get pain relief too!
illinois, happy to hear Dr. B got some relief and likely will get the type of medical treatment he needs! How are things going with your two dogs? Hope the new dog is feeling more at home now.
Rain now and throughout the day. We need rain so badly that it is welcome for sure!
1 -
The feeling that "I am enough" does not mean that I have nothing to learn, nothing further to achieve, and nowhere to grow to. It means that I accept myself, that I am not on trial in my own eyes, that I value and respect myself. This is not an act of indulgence but of courage.
0 -
You have all talked of some interesting subjects and all of you had such good thoughts and information to share. As for suicide I think of my friend long long ago from Detroit. We were both newly married and had our first babies about the same time. Many of our circumstances changed but we always stayed in touch. I know Joanie suffered for many yrs. I also know from what she told me that she tried everything known to get well from her depression. Before she took her life, she researched what many scholars as well as her Church had to say on the subject. In the end she came to feel that she could intercede and care for her family more on the other side as the constant force on her from fighting her depression she felt took away from the care she felt she should be spending on her family.
I did not agree, but that was the 'un-knowing how it really feels' part of me that was selfish of life and so I could not even come close to knowing how someone could actually choose to ignore the life force that is automatically in all of us. She had it as well, but the depression and long fight to rid it left Joanie's so much weaker making her suicide possible.
As to getting older, I often find myself amazed. I do worry and fret a bit at times — especially when I see 'friends' not doing so well. I think I have said before that when I was much younger people the age I am now (77) seemed very old and I likely had notions of being amazed they were still 'hanging on'. Now that I am here and (furiously crossing everything in sight) I usually if not having some medical blow-up, cannot come close to having the vision of myself that I had about those "other" people long ago. On my good days I feel fairly healthy and confident. I think the quieter moments are a little scary. I fear for when I first possibly notice that my driving may not be as good, or that I have to walk much slower or with more deliberation and concentration. It bothers me that I may become (as though I haven't changed so much from just a couple of yrs. ago) noticeably more aged and less confident and competent. I have my kids already standing ln line to care about me and though it is great — I dread when they have to start having too rather than just doing it now and then to show their affection.
I think in many way MM is right. We should look for the quality and relish that and try not to see the yrs. as something that is forcing a loss on us. And truth is — we don't get out of this life alive so to speak and are in the same boat along the way. If we choose to not give in easily or with a bit of resentment or melancholy at times hopefully — we will face that with heads high.
MC — love your dog sign. We are doing some extra puppy sitting today, but this may be it. Will find out later today or tomorrow.
1
