Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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I am leaving for Key West first thing in the morning. Hopefully all roads have clear from flooding.
I noticed a post from from someone that compared this site to facebook and it was not helpful. I just want to say, I have been here for 5 years and it has been very helpful. Each of you have become my BC friends. I have cried, prayed and laughed from the posts. It has been a part of my BC life during and after.
Love you all.
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I so agree with you Petite. I come here every day and smile, not at the problems, but at the fact that I come visit daily where friends are. We do talk about cancer and the issues, but we are older and so it doesn't take up our whole life. We share cancer, but we also want to share so many of the other parts that friends do.
Hugs to all.
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Ok , you have made friends and know each other. Great, but you leave little space for the new ones to this sight. What am I supposed to do with your personal excanges. They mean nothing to me. The only posts I see are from your small group. Am I missing something. You did even comment about my post personally. Just made a general statement to your friends. Talk to me. I am here for help too. I have found none.
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By the way anyone out there have their ovaries removed? No ER produced is better than harmon blocking . I am looking into that. Also wonder why I was not informed of this as a treatment choice? Time will tell. See the Dr. in 3 weeks to discuss.
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@artwish ,
It's a very good part of my day when I go on here and see what everyone is doing. I don't want cancer to define me. It's never far from my mind. However, I cherish good moments and allow myself meltdowns when needed. I just try not to stay there too long. I allow myself to have feelings.
Please bear with us as we try to make it from day to day. I grieve for the things that I may not be here for in the future, but I know where I'll be going. I've never asked why me. Why not me?
Stay with us on this site. I don't know any of the members here personally, but I don't really need to. Cancer connects us all, including you. Welcome to this site.
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Artwish - my understanding is that very little estrogen is produced from our ovaries once we are post menopausal and instead is primarily produced from our fat tissue. I tried finding a link to prove this but am unable to do so, so I may be wrong. The mods may be able to help with this. So removal of the ovaries once we are post menopausal does not eliminate the need for hormone therapy as most of the estrogen are bodies are producing are coming from fat.
I’m 66 and I did have my ovaries removed earlier this year in a prophylactic surgery to mitigate the risk of ovarian cancer due to a genetic mutation. Unfortunately, it was too late as the pathology indicated ovarian cancer in my ovaries, fallopian tubes and pelvic washings.
I also had Stage 1A breast cancer. While having cancer is never good, my diagnosis has a good prognosis since it is stage 1. That doesn’t mean it wont recur but it’s not a sure thing that it will recur. As I’m sure you know, the higher the stage and grade, the higher the risk of recurrence. I’m not a healthcare professional so I’m not clear on your comments regarding life expectancy or perhaps I’m misunderstanding your comments.
Everyone is welcome here and I use this thread for a sense of community and support. There is a wide spectrum of diagnosis amongst the members. Sometimes we discuss breast cancer or other health challenges and sometimes we talk about our families, pets and the fun we are having. Folks will be happy to help if they can but I’d like to understand what it is that you need from us.
Take care.
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artwish, I do believe some of us welcomed you here, as we do to all who come to this site. I am not sure what support you are looking for since you have not really identified any issues you would like us to help you with. All of us have experienced some, if not all, of the treatments you have experienced so we can identify with those. When BCO underwent the update to its platform, some opted not to relist all their treatments because they were past history and/or reminders that we may have decided to move beyond. However, this doesn't mean we won't reach out to you as needed, but what are you specifically seeking? It seems you are angry with us for not understanding what you need, so please ask away.
As far as removing your ovaries, if you have experienced menopause, your ovaries are no longer producing significant amounts of hormones but BC tumors, adipose tissue and adrenal precursors can produce hormones which is why aromatase inhibitors are prescribed. They are used to decrease the potential for BC tumor growth. You can discuss this with your MO to see what they recommend.
Having BC can be scary in the beginning when you are facing the unknown about your future and QOL. Having this site and the posters here helped get me through the difficult days and I feel much like, petite1 and Illinoislady, we have become a caring community where we share our challenges in life, in health and try to be supportive and caring for one another. I hope you will see that this is available to you as well.
Greatly Blessed, thank you for chiming in and welcome to you as well. This site is for older women, about older women and a respite for older women who seek commonality through our BC experiences but also our life experiences.
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It is raining here and is supposed to rain for the next few days which is welcome due to our drought conditions. It was in the low 70's and damp today. DH drove me to grocery store and to Hallmark store since I had a birthday coupon (20% off total purchase) there and got wrapping paper for my niece's bridal shower present and all the birthday cards I need for the next few months (also Halloween and Thanksgiving cards).
Was craving a corned beef special sandwich so bought the fixings and they were our dinner. I also wanted some flowers for in the house so I treated myself to some Asiatic lilies and some roses that were on special. DD and DSIL usually bring me flowers but they have been very busy lately.
DGS called today to invite me to his birthday party on Sunday. He will be 14 and where has that time gone? He wants a DQ ice cream cake because they will put his name on it. My DS always wanted them for his birthday when he was younger. He is to call me back to tell me what he wants as his gift. He wants me to think about taking him to the Philadelphia Outlets for new sneakers and most likely a very expensive sushi lunch. Isn't that what grandmothers are for?
We will have a family party on 8/18 and he was asking about the menu there since it will be a first visit for him. He loves seafood so Bonefish Grille will suit him. It should be a nice day.
PT yesterday was brutal because she advanced me to 5 lb. ankle weights for 2 exercises and I am still using the 2 lb weights for 2 others (straight leg raises front and side). I am close to 115 degrees for flexion and hope to achieve between 120-130 by September. I am really sore today but am making myself walk so I am less stiff. Did most of the home exercises prescribed and will finish the rest now.
Bumble Bee is singing away though drowned out by the noisy parakeets. However, it does feel like I am in the Tiki Room at Disney when they are all in voice or song. He likes the music on some commercials and sings along.
I am hoping I can sleep tonight because it seems the night after PT is the real challenge for uninterrupted sleep. Will take some Tylenol and then use Norco later.
Hope everyone had a day that brought them some joy, comfort, less challenges and a sense of accomplishment.
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artwish - there are SO many threads in the BCO cupboard. Most people on this thread have completed treatments and have come to THIS thread for friendship & support. When I was in active treatment - chemo/surgery/more chemo/radiation (and that was just the 2nd time around) I did not read support/friendship threads or what book are you reading threads or dinner threads. I read threads populated with people like me who were going through similar treatments & trials. And those threads had a bunch of people who hung around just to answer questions for newbies just because we cared. I believe all those type of threads are still available on BCO and they can be very helpful. Most of us started there and built a "community" over the years.
Wishing you the best - but yes - this thread is about friendship & support and not necessarily BCO treatment questions. If can't find threads that answer your questions & suit your needs, I would suggest sending a PM to the MODS and they can direct you.
P.S. You are welcome to what we have. We would be happy to have you join us and get to know us over time if that suits your needs.
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Artwish, ladies are always welcome here in our older (usually) corner of having had some kind of cancer life. Don't know if I mentioned, I've finished treatments about 3 months ago for my 6th. cancer dx. So to be quite honest, I only asked lots of questions and support for my first bout of breast cancer. That was in 2007. I still have friends from then.
Afterwards, on all the other times I just dealt with it on a conversational basis with the ladies here. The friendship and comraderies expressed meant so much to me. Just to know someone cared and had some empathy for the state I was in. I know it may seem odd to have few questions, but I had great faith in my Dr.'s and had more need of knowing every one here cared and was rooting for me.
I hope you will feel accepted, respected and cared about here. Minus Two had good advice. about how to get around on the blogs here. I only go to two places and am computer illiterate so she is the one to listen to on that.
Know that we are all wishing you well. We will certainly respond if you continue to post here.
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Greatly blessed - what a nice post. I hope I welcomed you when you first came on. We are glad you are here and Artwish as well.
There is an open door here although most of us are indeed older ladies. I'm 78 even if I don't act like it most of the time.
We love sharing life together here. No one really wanted to be a member of this club but since we are here, we choose to honor each other with some time spent together sharing. As the majority of us (not all) are done with treatments, we do often share many other aspects of life. It is so good to forget for a bit that you've ever had cancer and just have a normal everyday conversation with a friend.
Saying hi to all but it is late and I've more computer work before bedtime. Hugs to all.
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Artwish, I apologize for not responding to your post comparing this discussion forum to Facebook. I read the posts here daily but don't always feel inclined to chime in. Other people have already explained that this forum is about life after diagnosis, surgery and treatment. It's a "Life Goes On" discussion.
When I was first diagnosed with BC, I found a forum with women having breast reconstruction similar to what I was having. It was only later that I started reading this Oldies forum and eventually began posting. That was quite a few years ago.
I know women on other forums who checked this one out and decided it wasn't for them. So welcome if you find a reason to stay. If you do stay, you'll find people discussing topics that don't interest you. I "skim" some discussions and expect that other people "skim" portions of my posts.
We often mention weather and I will do so now. After a week of hot days our weather suddenly turned much cooler and rainy. The past two mornings we've turned on the heat pump in the camper. Even dh said last night that this "cool" is a little too cool for August. But he's a trooper. He put on a sweater and light jacket and went off to the golf course for men's league this morning. I stayed in bed until 7:30 enjoying the snug environment.
August. It's hard to believe that summer has zipped by so fast. But that seems to be the nature of getting older when you wish life would slow down just a little.
I have a new interest. Tiny little succulent plants. I bought a small planter with a wonderful assortment and transplanted the plants into two small planters with drainage holes. I scrutinize the plants daily for growth. They're out on the deck. I'll take them home and already expect to expand this interest. I'll have to post a picture.
Wishing everyone an interesting day.
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Artwish, I believe I got into this group when my treatments were over. I too, as others mentioned, were in specific groups (2017 lumpectomy, into 2018 rads, most recent lung nodules). So whatever your specifics are, there is most likely a group with folks going through the exact same thing. This group felt welcoming, I was dx at 58 and many other groups had younger ladies with much different issues, fertility being one. I hope you find your niche, and you’re welcome here anytime. We’re from all over the country and more I think, so posts are from early birds and night owls like me. Jump in as you please.
My cousins death, he requested cremation and no services. But his family will hold a celebration of life later this month. They’re still looking for his car keys.
After being with him as he passed, crying etc… I came home and took a nap. I woke up with a stye inside my right eye. Tears, tissues, mask, hospital, who knows. Late last night I sent a picture in the portal to my PCP asking if I can get a script or do I need to be seen. Phone call 7:30 this AM, come in at 11:30; text now say be there by 11:15. I’m going to ask about a script for Naproxen too; tendonitis in my shoulder has been acting up.
Rain, rain and more rain. I had to siphon water out of the pool, ended up too much; had to add water back in. Anyone with a pool knows the feeling of UGH. I just went out again, it rained all day yesterday, and started siphoning again - but set the timer on my phone. I don't want a repeat of yesterday.
Puffin I’m so sorry the electric wheelchair wasn’t going to be an aid to you. Hoping you’re at home getting good care.
Harley, glad #5 is over with!
Betrayal, the TKR hasn’t slowed you down!
Petite, have a great time in Key West!
Jackie, try getting us a picture of Lil Red. I’m sure Jo is going to love him.
To all the ladies, have a great day!
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Studies of volunteers have shown there is a benefit to performing acts of love for other people. The irony is that it is actually in your best interest to be selfless. The things you do for the benefit of others not only make you feel fulfilled, they increase your chances of living a long and happy life. Remember that an act of love always benefits at least two people.
Bernie S. Siegel
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I'm stage 4 with metastasize to bones. Therefore, I'll always be in treatment until it stops working. I came to this forum because I'm 66 years old. I enjoy reading the posts. Cancer is a huge part of my life. I don't feel well most days. I enjoy reading posts from you ladies about everyday life. Cancer does not define me.
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Good morning. Carole, just amazing what a few hours can do, especially to your weather there. Good for you and cooler times. I heartily congratulate you on the succulents. I had many strewn all through my cactus garden. They were great for the variety of the often much bigger cacti full of stickers of all sizes. I started out in some cases with cacti from a 2 in. pot and before I knew it some of them were over my head. I always loved the variety of the hen and chicks' succulents. I hope you find lots of enjoyment.
Nothing special today — whatever comes as always. Will go to Jo's later. I have to get Lil Red cleaned up and brushed so he'll be charming and naturally 'cute'. It will be fun to introduce him to Jo and Maria.
Glad Cindy that your family is having a celebration of life. I think it just helps to put things into a reality niche that most people are use to. I do understand that some people don't want a 'formal' leave-taking as such and that's okay. Hope your medical visit goes well and you get relief for your eye and something for the tendinitis.
Puffin, Harley, Taco and anyone dealing with medical things — in your pockets for sure.
Hope you all have a great day. Cooler here today again. I'm a happy camper.
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I hope Taco is doing well. We haven't heard from her since her difficult arrival at home after surgery.
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@artwish, I am an Australian 62 year old dx'd with de novo stage iv cancer that has metastisized to my bones. While I don't comment often on this thread I take great joy in reading about the activities of the others on this thread. After menopause the ovaries are not oestrogen suppliers - the body has methods to derive it from other places, such as body fat. That is why we are prescribed inhibitors - to stop the body doing this. I hope you have a good day and get the answers you seek. I have always found the contributors on this and other threads to be very generous with their time and experience - for which I will always be grateful.
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Greatly blessed, glad that you feel BC doesn't define you and that you enjoy our chatter. We seem to become friends with the posters and share our sorrows and joys. Hope your treatment lasts for many years.
Today it is intermittent rain with some heavy downpours and we came home to a power outage after PT. We have a whole house generator so we just have to reset the digital clocks. It has paid for itself since I am no longer having to discard contents of freezers or refrigerators. Initially we had a portable one but they don't do well in winter since they must remain outside and leaving garage door open is not safe at any time.
Had some evaluation tests today in PT and did really well. PT had set the timed sit to stand exercise goal at 10 seconds and I met that today. She was thrilled. Yeah! I am 9 weeks and 4 days post-TKR so I am pleased with progress. I think I identified why I have been waking at night with knee pain due to having to sleep with leg in extension. I have been using a pillow, under my calves, on the recliner foot support to elevate the knees and it is one with little give. Last night I tried a smaller down filled pillow and even though I woke briefly twice, I was able to do some flexion movements and go right back to sleep. The only pain meds I took were Tylenol before I went to sleep and once when I awoke. I am hoping this is problem solved. Usually the second night after PT is one where I don't sleep well. Another new exercise today and we did a couple of passes on the stairs so she could evaluate that skill. The load on the knee going down is painful but I am, rather slowly, able to descend the steps like a normal human and not a toddler. Going up is not as bad so I will keep practicing.
Had a Dine Rewards coupon that I had to use by Sunday so we went to Bone Fish Grill for an early dinner. The server checked and I had 2 more coupons expiring in September, while we are away, and she was able to apply them as well. I always take any discount in to account when we tip, so she got what she was entitled to. She has served us before and is really pleasant. The manager spoke to us about our reservations for a week from Sunday so all is well there. Could not finish meal so I have leftovers for later. If you have a chance, try their white sangria and their drunken coconut pie. They are OMG experiences.
cindyny, sorry to read that your cousin has died but also glad that his suffering is over. Hope you can locate the car keys. Did you check pockets? A memorial at a later date sounds like a nice way to remember him and allow as many as possible to be in attendance. Try warm compresses on your eye to try to get stye to drain.
carole, it sounds funny to hear that you needed to turn on the heat in August after having some sweltering days where you needed AC.
Illinoislady, I hope Jo and Maria enjoy their introduction to Lil' Red. You need to post his picture.
petite1, I loved my trip to Key West and hope yours is fun. I envy you. A local recommended a bayside restaurant in the Marathon area and had crab cakes and the best watermelon salad with balsamic drizzle and feta cheese chunks. I declined the raw onions since I am not a fan and it was one I now make with goat cheese instead. A local told us a mile marker to stop at which I can't remember but we had to walk a short trail from the parking lot to the restaurant. They had tiki huts for diners as well as the raised patio we sat on. Boats could pull up to it as well. It was heaven.
Had to wrap wedding shower present for my niece and take to UPS to ship it. The shower is next weekend and UPS assured us it will arrive at another niece's home by tomorrow. The shower is more than 50 miles (each way) from here and over an hour of turnpike driving (plus tolls) which I am not up for yet. I would spend more time in the car than the 2 hour shower so I declined the invite. I had bought her a charcuterie board which is engraved with the word charcuterie and "the explanation that it is the French definition for adult lunchables". My niece is one who uses pinterest for "pinning" her party plans and they are quite elaborate occasions. She could plan a party for me anytime. So when I saw this at Kutztown German festival, I just had to buy it. It is large so I had to purchase a box and cut it to fit the board. I wrapped it in tissue paper since I had purchased a gift bag for it but realized it would not stay in the bag during transport. Wrapped it in bubble wrap as well. So I asked the niece who will receive it to assemble it in the bag for me. I also sent additional tissue paper for the bag and there is lots of bubble wrap and other packing materials in the box. I am hoping she loves it. Had to move Misty out of the box several times to ensure she did not go with the present.
We need to rain, so I am not going to complain that today and tomorrow are indoor days. We have several large branches down in the back yard and a few on the front lawn. One appeared dead but the other clearly was one that broke off. Tulip poplars grow very tall (one we removed was 140 feet) , provide nice shade but aren't very strong in high wind situations.
Hope everyone has a great day and those in pain or in recovery have less difficulties. Hope to hear from Taco, Chris, and Sandy soon.
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Cindy, not very helpful I would suppose, but I use to get eye styes and my girl friend called it a Shillelagh ( which is a word usually for an Irish walking stick) tumor. She told me to cut a potato and hold the raw slice on my eye — don't remember how long, but I tried it and lo and behold, it went away and I've never had another. That said, she was a little older than me so knew some of the 'old' fashioned remedies for things.
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@betrayal, thank you for your kind words. I'm greatly blessed!!
I really do enjoy this forum. The world still turns around and I appreciate more, the little things.
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Maybe there should be two older BC sights. One for finished treatment and one for new old ladies with BC.
Many older ladies are new BC and the treatments are very different. We do not have as many choice of which harmon treatments to use or what surgeries are can be performed.
More older women get BC but there are few options for treatment.
Just a thought.
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When I was a girl, my temper often got out of bounds. But one day when I became angry at a friend over some trivial matter, my mother said to me, "Elizabeth, anyone who angers you conquers you." -Sister Elizabeth Kenny
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Artwish, perhaps you might start a thread for older women who only wish to talk cancer. I mention this because it is true the majority here have been through their 'first' dx. and moved on. Some - like me, Taco, Puffin etc. have had some sort of return, but don't wish to 'live' in questions all the time but enjoy the other aspects of life which are precious and maybe all the more so. It is not an easy thing to undergo the cancer diagnosis.
I recall having had so many "good" mammograms that I became rather complacent about cancer. Like smokers who risk cancer, I just assumed it would always happen to someone else. That thought didn't make me feel good — I hate the idea that anyone has anything happen to them that makes them suffer, but I did get the attitude - not me. Once I got over the top (meaning through all treatment pretty much) I chose right then and there to lead as full a life as I could. It is why what little advice I might have is mainly scattered memories from 2007 and generally not helpful to much of anyone with the changes that have come. I haven't looked for much help since my other and, in fact just in the last three or four yrs. new primaries taking place. I mentioned them here so my fellow travelers would know what was going on in my life, but I use the V.A. — so to some degree my options are limited to how they handle things. I've been fortunate in having great care and medical people I trusted and whatever happens now is in the hands of the almighty.
It's not a defeatist attitude in my eyes, but one for me of being grateful I'm still here after having cancer dx-ed 6 times. So, I find solace and comfort in just sharing with women who came together because of cancer, but stay together because life and all the big and little things are precious and every time I hear someone say something, about their adult children, pets, weather, car or whatever I know they are just like me - hoping to live a full happy engaging life full of all the wonderful mundane things that are a part of it. I treasure the words they say.
I really don't know how to explain it any clearer. We just like each other here and this despite having had such a terrific terrible disease brings us comfort and joy. I love hearing what friends have to say. I hope, if you like, you will stay and join in.
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By the way, beautiful day here, hopefully cool. Nothing special planned save for setting things up for Monday. Will go for labs early for Dr. Neely (PCP) for the following Monday. I will get to find out how my Echogram turned out then. It was higher per the tech but that was all he could say.
I also have a meeting with the Radiation oncologist on Thursday and then more Labs at St. Mary's on Friday. I'm not sure what they are for. I'll find out hopefully on Monday from Dr. Neely. Would be nice if I could use Dr. Neely's labs. St. Mary's by the way is our hospital — about three miles from me. I am able to have a number of things done there which the VA will pay for since I'm more than 40 miles from the V.A. We do though have a satellite V.A. ofc in Mt. Vernon which is about 20 miles south. Mt. Vernon office isn't set up to do much testing on site though which is why we need to make the much longer trip at times to Marion, Illinois which is about 73 miles or so south.
After those appts. are done — I think I will be done for a while. That will be nice. I really dislike a lot of Dr. appts. all at once.
I hope you are all going to have a really good day.
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artwish - I was hoping the MODS would jump in since my expertise is NOT computers & actually sent them a PM. But…no such luck…. HEY MODS - where are you????
Not sure of your age, but there are numbers of discussion threads for two groups of older women. Below are the categories from the sign in page. That is in addition to the categories specific to your diagnosis, treatment & symptoms. Check it out.
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Once we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life.
Harry Hepner
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Debby has past through us and weather yesterday was beautiful. I picked up 2 dozen or more pine cones dropped in the yard from the storm, and partner said he picked up just as many outside the yard on the side street.
Last night we went to a local baseball game with my niece & grandniece who brought a bff with her. They had more fun, and energy than the rest of us. Both got tee shirts from the mascot tossing them in the stands. An older gentleman gave them a ball too. Oddly the electricity went off for close to an hour. Kids entertained themselves but I could have left and been ok. We were gone after the 11th, of course they were tied and had extra innings! Home before 11pm.
Stye in my eye feels ok, but ointment blurrs that eye and I can’t wear a contact lens in it. I’ll be glad when it’s done. Jackie, I’ve done similar (potato; rubbed my wedding ring on one) but they were on the rim of the lid. This one is inside the lower lid; if I don’t pull the lid down, you’d never know I have it. It initially felt like I had an eyelash poking me. I’ve never had one like this.
I’m headed outside to enjoy the day. The deck with a book seems like a good plan. Enjoy your Sunday!
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Good morning. So far it is remaining a decent temp. The sun doesn't seem super bright so maybe that's partly why. I think it will be a nice afternoon.
Nothing much planned but that good old catch-up list. Seems like I'll be working on that for some time to come.
Cindy, yes my stye's were not on the inside and I'm sure that would make a big difference is things to do for it. Hopefully, it won't take too much longer. I know I tend to be impatient with some things and I know that would be one of them. Now hearing you say it felt like an eyelash poking just made me shudder. That is one of those tolerable to a degree but so un-pleasant things. You can't wait to 'fix' it and then spent the next two days afraid it will happen again.
Have some medications to order over the phone and a couple of bills to pay and a checkbook to balance so I do have some afternoon chores.
Hope all have a great Sunday.
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Personal prayer, it seems to me, is one of the simplest necessities of life, as basic to the individual as sunshine, food and water--and at times, of course, more so. By prayer I mean an effort to get in touch with the Infinite. We know that our prayers are imperfect. Of course they are. We are imperfect human beings. A thousand experiences have convinced me beyond room of doubt that prayer multiplies the strength of the individual and brings within the scope of his capabilities almost any conceivable objective.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
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