Wardrobe pics for boobless days
Comments
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WOW! I just went through this thread and I'm so inspired and encouraged by you, gals. I thank you ever so much for sharing. You're all SO beautiful!! I am seriously thinking of having my other breast removed and go flat as well.
Again, thank you SO much for sharing! I wish I was as skinny as you gals.
I was at one time, but I don't know what happened. Actually, I do... sickness and life. I also battle with fibromyalgia and that's not fun. I have the same symptoms from my cancer meds (fatigue and body aches/muscles)...as fibromyalgia does, so I am getting a double dose. I tire so easily and discovering I cannot do what I used to and it's devastating.However, THANK YOU GALS! What an inspiration and God bless you all for encouraging some of us "thicker" gals... LOL.
I LOVE seeing the pics and I can't wait to be flat! This one-sided lop-sided feeling is getting to me for sure! Until the next time.... be well!
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Hey, Cinderella! We're not all skinny (I used to be, but no more!), but we are all learning to appreciate the bodies we have and wear the clothes we love and that make us feel good about ourselves. It is a very inspiring thread, isn't it?
Dawn
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Thank you all for your kindness and support. I know that I am still very close to treatment and diagnosis etc. I am trying to believe that time will help me heal. You are all wonderful and I am so glad that I have you.
I hope you all have a good weekend. Judy xxxxx
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First time I have viewed this Forum - have posted on others especially LE. Because of my LE it is very uncomfortable to even wear a sports bra with light prosthesis. You gals really gave me incentive!!!! Never thought of the ruffle thing and have not seen the cami to order from TLC.
Thanks!!!!!!!
Susan B.0 -
Hi Judie I just saw your post and wanted to say as the other girls did, its all quite normal, when the warm spring days started here in Fla I was a basket case for awhile (my MX was in Oct of 08) getting through the winter clothing was quite easy - then everywhere I looked I saw BIG BEAUTIFUL (so I thought) BOOBS in little skimpy tops and bathing suits, DH and I were at a spring festival and I had to leave in tears I was so overwhelmed, I though for sure the summer would be ruined, there was nothing that I could ever possibly fine to wear that would be attarctive and stylish - it just takes time, and even now I will honestly say every now and agin for a very brief moment I miss my boobs, but they are gone, recon is not something I am willing to do, so I ALLOW myself that moment of mourning for them because I have come to learn that that is ok and it is normal, then I find something really trashy and sexy to wear - LOL
Your in my thoughts - xoxoxoxoxoxox
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Thank you so much for your posting 1Cathi. I know it is very early days for me at the moment, I am just impatient to feel well again. You are all wonderfully supportive xoxoxo
Judy x
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Dawn, I just wanted to let you know how great I think you look. And, I think we are always harder on ourselves.
Judy, hang in there. Things will get better.
~elaine~
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You ladies look wonderfull!!
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Well I have one boob and feel self conscious going around without the falsie(I am dating myself) I wish I could go out lopsided - just can't yet. I am swimming and I am forever looking to see if it is floating ahead of me. But I do laugh about it.
My biggest dilemma is a wedding I am going to. I want to wear the dress I wore to my daughters just a year ago but know that I am heavier thanks to tamoxifen and missing part of the cleavage. Is it worth fixing what you already have or trying to find another. You guys mentioned photos where are they.
I live in a hot climate and the prosthetic is soooo hot. Has anyone bought anything from softee or bosombuddy????
Thanks,
Mlkesem
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mlkesem,
There are great photos earlier on this thread, just start at page 1 and go forward. Regarding the softee, I find it doesn't give me a good shape. And for me, bosombuddy forms are not smooth enough, the lumps from the little round beads or beans inside show through my bra, as does the seam on the front of the form. For ultra-light forms, I prefer foam forms (TruLife makes some, as do Amoena and others, including TLC, the American Cancer Society online mastectomy product store) or Still You Illusions (I review some of these on my non-profit website, BreastFree.org, in the "Breast Forms" section, under Non-Silicone Breast Forms).
If you love your dress, it might be worth altering. On the other hand, a new one might flatter your new shape more.
Best of luck.
Barbara
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I think I've had initiation by fire since my double mast! I just got back from my son's wedding and had my daughter's wedding in May at a resort. I had to go flat in a bathing suit in front of all my exes' friends and blond wife. Twice! Then I had to stand beside each wedding pair for photos in front of everyone else. I just really don't care anymore. I am so much happier without the hot breasts this summer. My back is bad and I can't imagine how bad it would be by now if I still had my 42Ds. I look slimmer and clothes look neater. I'll say it again; when I see big floppy boobs a voice in my head goes "Mooooooooo".
On another thread they were talking about the blue dye from the SNB still showing and I actually looked down my top to see if mine stilled showed! Think they took that piece off with the rest of the breast...hehehehheehehe
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Oh Barbe! Good for you girl!! You are so funny and inspiring! Thanks so much for sharing your story. (still chuckling...)
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And remember, Barbe, WE WANT PICTURES! At least of you in the wedding attire!
Dawn
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Mlkesem, I ordered a set of Bosom Buddies, but didn't like them either, but for a different reason than Barbara. It was the shape that was the problem for me - they seemed to be more of a vertical oval rather than a triangle.
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Just an update, ladies, to let you know I cruise around in a soft tee and jeans a lot and often don't remember there are no lumps south of my chin until you get to my tummy. I love the feeling of not noticing and feeling sleek even if I'm not. Of course, I still get self conscious, usually when I least expect it and more often with young women so maybe it's the total package of youth...
I went to my freshman granddaughter's back to school night and got to one room late which meant I had to walk across the front of the packed class room. Believe me, I didn't feel so comfortable then!! LOL All I could do was stand up straight and look perky and do the walk. I don't think many people even paid enough attention to me to notice! Like Barbe says, it definitely improves with practice and maybe a bit of fake it til you make it, too. Brazen it out is an effective strategy because attitude projects more than anything.
The pictures really helped with practical how to's and what to try. Thank you for being your wonderful selves, all of you.
Mikesem, go try things on and see what you like. That was the bests advice somebody gave me so I want to pass along what worked.0 -
Sleek! That's it! I've been saying thinner...but it's so nice to not have the shelf beneath my chin!
Good for you Linda!
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I am newly diagnosed and thought "naively" that i would get immediate reconstruction and a tummy tuck. Well, while I was recovering from port placement yesterday, my surgeon told my husband that because I am getting radiation down the road, immediate reconstruction is not a possibility and will probably be at least a year post surgery. So then I had to start thinking about prosthesis.......
Now, drumroll please, I am about 95 % sure I am going to wear camisoles under shirts. I wear them under shirts now to hold my stomach in so it won't be a big change.
Thank you ladies for opening my eyes to this possibility!
Amy
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You have probably heard of RheaBelle clothing for women who have had mastecomies, particularly those who have had unilaterals. RheaBelle.etsy.com The clothes have been designed by Jacqueline Lou Skaggs, aka "the Amazon Seamstress", who had a unilateral mastectomy and wanted to embrace her new shape, rather than be ashamed of or hide it. Granted the clothing wouldn't work for all of us, but it's the idea that I like. It's exactly what I see many of you doing. You're finding clothing options that enhance your body shapes and make you feel good about yourself.
To quote from her site, "I realize I feel like a freak ONLY in the context of oppressive "norms" and the idea that reconstruction makes more "social" sense, but that's about it." She, also, talks about how it seems to be a "given" that ALL women who have mastectomies want reconstruction. A given that you would put yourself through major potentially life threatening surgery that is not guaranteed to provide the results that you want. She says that, "the concept of reconstruction being a part of the mastectomy experience also means that all the pain suffering and disappointment is all a part of it to."
Check out her site (http://www.rebel1in8.com) and make sure to look at "The Songbird Branch".
~elaine~
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Elaine, I looked at pictures of recon before I was definitely diagnosed with breast cancer. I hated the look! So did my husband. I decided there was no way in hell I was going through that. The doctors truly don't believe me to this day! The pressure is immense to reconstruct and I resent that.
I haven't read a single thread in all this where the HUSBANDS are thrilled with the new foobs! I've only read threads with women horrified that after all they went through their husbands have NO interest in even touching their new breasts! The ladies are generally happen, when they like the outcome, I ignored the problems as that would happen with any surgery , but wow! The horror stories of open woulds and collapsing, shifting, under-arm-boobs, etc. I have read a lot of threads from women like myself who have the guts to say that they are very happy without the weight and heat of breasts! It is also more slimming in a profile shot.....
I actually had someone PM me to tell me I was mentally insane for feeling this way! This is from someone on this board! I'm sorry, my breasts aren't even part of my soul, and it is my soul that lives and breathes. AND I had a reduction years ago and had magnificent breasts for a 50 year old last year when I lost them. Someone said that only women who were unhappy with their present breasts wanted to take them off. There are a lot of different ways to think about all this, but breasts, though an important part of our sexuality (I've also been known to say my breasts used to turn ME on!), when it all boils down, they are only lumps of fat! They are not me. My reduced breasts never really felt like mine (stuff taken away NOT added, but still...) so I was pretty sure recon would feel the same way.
I felt that society wanted me to have breasts. I am defiant in the presentation of my flat chest. If I have to live with bc, so does everyone else that has to look at me! I certainly don't plan on going topless, just like I never breast fed in public. It's no one's business what's beneath my clothes.
I only had one negative comment, from a guy who is dating someone with a double mast! He said a womans shape should include curves. I felt like saying a man's shape should include a large penis, but hey, that's a discussion for another thread! ehehehehheee
Anyway, the whole point of this rant is that I agree with your post except that I don't consider myself a freak. My genius IQ, now that IS freakish...and hard to live with!
I am known to quote myself as saying, "Why should I have fake boobs to make YOU feel better?" I had made my decision before surgery and and thrilled that I was comfortable enough with it to take it to heart and live with it for the past year. Still no niggling desire to reconstruct!
So, I know I've probably rocked some emotions over this rant, but I only do this every 6 months or so, and it was time. I feel better...whew!
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Re "I certainly don't plan on going topless, just like I never breast fed in public. It's no one's business what's beneath my clothes": I have to say that although I feel pretty great about my breast-free body and a little militant toward anyone who might suggest I should have reconstructed, I do feel a little sad that in, say, a locker room or public dressing room, I can't just strip down like other women. And the thing is, I think I look fine. But I'm just not confident enough to risk the horror I might see on other women's faces. 0
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Nagem, I know exactly what you mean! And that's why I don't go to a gym! I think it's the "oh my God, there for the grace of God go I" look that I don't want to see. I do NOT want pity either! 0
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I'm with you two--I think I look fine, my husband thinks I look fine, but the thought of disrobing in locker rooms doesn't appeal. I've always reacted badly to people feeling sorry for me. I don't feel sorry for myself and wouldn't want that look from someone else. Makes it hard to swim and shower at a gym, but if I'm doing other types of exercise, I just wait to shower till I get home. That's what I always did before bc, anyway. FWIW, some women with reconstructed breasts also express concern about disrobing in front of others.
I'm struck by the many times I've read on the reconstruction board about women whose husbands haven't seen them naked after reconstruction, in some cases because the guys don't want to look, in other cases because the women feel anxious about showing them. So, having reconstruction doesn't guarantee restored body image. My DH was greatly relieved that I chose not to reconstruct (the idea of the long surgery and risks scared him and he didn't want me to mess with other intact parts of my body). He saw my chest even before I did (he happened to be standing in the room the evening of surgery when a resident pulled back the bandages unexpectedly). Like me, he thought it looked fine even then.
Regarding the idea that women who opt not to have recon didn't like their breasts--nonsense. I LOVED my breasts and especially treasured them after my lumpectomy three years prior to the bilateral mastectomy. But when I needed the mastectomy, I found I wasn't interested in reconstructed replacements.
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I'm so glad I found this thread. I went shopping yesterday and found myself very discouraged with the tops I tried on and gave up. It was the first time I had gone shopping for myself since my bi-lat surgery in June and I was so discouraged. After seeing this thread I know I'll find the something and it'll will work out. I just need to get my mind in the right place.
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Well it has been awhile sense I have posted here, I just received a hoodie/sweater I purchased fo our few up and coming chilly days in Fla (HA-HA) we do have some, it is awesome, looks and feels great, I guess a bit pricey - but I AM WORTH IT -LOL. Heres the web-site, I got the hoodie in white
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Now that I am totally boobless I can throw away my bras.Ahmen to that torture. I go to a ladies only gym so should have no problems there.Did you ladies find you had to chuck alot of your clothes?
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Hi Mumayan,
A few weeks after surgery I went through my cloths and got rid of a ton of things, now I wish I had waited, there were things I could wear now BOOBLESS, the strange things to me is I have NOT gotten rid of my bras yet, I will be a year post bilat on 10/17, I always loved fancy Bras and I can't wear any of the ones I had, but yet I can't let them go - WEIRD. 99% of the time I am boobless and fine with it.
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Mumayan, I threw away my bras, too. However, I didn't chuck many of my other clothes. My wardrobe is mostly tee shirts and pants and the tee shirts still work for me without breasts. I wear my foobies on the rare occasion when I want to wear something dressier, so I think I need to buy some more formal attire that I can wear sans foobies.
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Regarding the issue of undressing in a locker room, I never felt comfortable doing it when I had both boobs and would just shower when I got home.
~elaine~
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Yah Mumayan! You done it! When you met me in August, you wouldn't have realized I didn't have boobs unless you knew that, would you? The kind of top I was wearing was tricking the eye.
I threw out my bras the night before my surgery. Ta da!!!!!
I also gave my daughters a bunch of tops (a garbage bag FULL of them). Some were pretty sexy and needed the real breasts to fill in the cleavage, others were just an excuse to purge. There are a couple I know I could have worn, so don't be too hasty.
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Hi all, I haven't posted here for a few months. I finished my treatment on 27th July and am almost 10 weeks out. Just this week, I started wearing my prosthetics and they actually look fine. They are not completely comfortable, but I never did like wearing a bra. I was actually quite happy without anything, but I sort of felt obliged to wear the prosthetics - did anyone else experience this?
Hope you all have a good weekend, Judy x
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