Wardrobe pics for boobless days
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Cathi - you are sooo darned cute and sexy!! I love all of the dresses. The first dress is beautiful. Who would have thought? I would have said the same, "ah, that won't work." But is does. IT DOES. Thanks so much.
the posture. omg. I feel as though mine is not good at all since my mast and althought it's never been perfect, I feel as though my shoulders will just not go straight as hard as I try to make them. I was doing Yoga,but started getting tingling in my left arm and was worried about lymphedema, so I stopped.
Judy, how are you doing today? Hope you are well sweetie. Like Cathi, I still have my days, but it does get easier.
xoxo
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Cathi, you look so cute in those dresses. Ed better watch out...guys will be flocking to you, boobs or no boobs. And you look so young (I know your real age, lol) that at a quick glance, you could be taken for a young teen!
I've never been one to flaunt cleavage, so my wardrobe has transitioned well.
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Both of my sides are pretty much the same, flat and somewhat bony, but the side of my prophylactic mast has a little more tissue around the axillary area of the chest due to my bs not taking any nodes on that side. A little flabblier.
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I have bulges on BOTH sides
Cathi.......the pics are beautiful. Wish I had the confidence to wear some things like that. I tend to wear layers that just cover up what I don't have. And boy, does it get hot!! One of the reason I love winter is because of the big bulky sweaters, etc.
You ladies are great!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!
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Coonie, I was just thinking since you are so close to New Orleans and that famous place for doing the diep's. Maybe we should all just meet up at your place and all go get those fancy new one's, then we can all go out and have a blast picking out a new wardrobe for our new boobified figures.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you to all you fabulous women! I am 6 weeks post bilateral mastectomy with tissue expander placement - that is not going too well. Side that had been previously radiated just not healing and I'm back to the OR on Tuesday to deflate, get bad skin cut off and re-sew. My PS KNOWs I won't do too much of this - and I won't do a tissue flap.... SOOO I've been wondering a lot about the flat look, how that would be....
these pics are a GIFT for someone like me.... you all look beautiful!
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mom2
I wondered about the extra tissue on the right - worried actually - but I decided that worrying was just stressful, and stress contributes to cancer, I believe, so I have let it go mostly. I think what I have left is just fatty tissue, but I do try to stay familiar with the landscape, in case something odd shows up. I am not sure my surgeon actually did the surgery. I cannot get a real answer, and I have given up on that. He was being followed by a resident while I was under his care, and the job I got looks more like something an inexperienced surgeon would have done, rather than an expert. The resident did write up the surgery report. Without going into more detail, I left this surgeon, because I do not trust him, and he was rude to me. He was head of the ethics board at the hospital, or I might have pursued filing a complaint. I figured there was no point. I have what I have, and I try not to think about it too much (that stress thing). As for pecs, I worked out fairly vigorously after surgery for about 2 years, once I finished my PT (3 months to deal with nerve pain the surgeon said HE didn't cause!), and my pecs are all up very high. My husband's seem to cover more of his chest than mine do, but he still has his breast tissue and fat, so maybe I just don't understand how pecs are supposed to look...unless the surgeon took some muscle he wasn't supposed to take. Anyhow, I have your questions too, but I'm just trying to live with the situation instead of getting all worked up over it. I wasted enough of 2006-07 doing that! If you ever get answers, let me know what they are!
Dawn
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AWE - Shucks no new pictures, just popping in after a day in the pool, guess what - bought another new bathing suit, starting to feel like pre-MX days.
Dawn thank you for the kind words, Have a great weekend BEAUTIFUL LADIES-
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I know Cathi, I had hoped more would post pics too. Even the few we have on here have been a help, hopefully more will post so we can all work on this together.
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Dawn and Raye,
I know you two, like me, have spent lots of time experimenting with various forms and bras. So what's gotten you back to form-free? Is it that you just find forms too uncomfortable (particularly in the summer heat) and it's not worth the trouble? Or is it that you don't like constantly having to figure out what form/bra to wear? Or that you like the way you look better? Or you feel more free? Or all of the above?
Raye, I can see from your pics that you look fabulous, forms or no forms. I am like you, flat and somewhat bony. I have a friend who's naturally flat-chested and she doesn't wear bras, but likes to wear very light, feminine camisoles under her tops. I've wondered if that would make me feel less self-conscious about going flat. Have you (or anyone else) ever tried that?
barbe1958,
You look so totally natural and in proportion going flat--you really know how to dress! I think your photos will be very helpful to those who aren't very slim and are considering ditching their forms. I myself am always feeling I have to keep my weight down (and my tummy reasonably flat) if I ever want to go form free, so I'll appear in proportion. Yet you look great and probably don't have the bony chest I'm left with after all the breast tissue was removed.
1Cathi,
You look spectacular in your dresses, swimsuits, and tops. Your positive spirit comes shining through in the pictures. Also, your great posture really helps project a confident attitude. My posture has actually improved since my bilats. I was always a sloucher and I've worked hard to stand up straight. Physical therapy has really helped. Also, I do the Lebed exercises (DVD), and that helps, too. They're specifically designed for women (and men) with lymphedema (which so far I don't have), but the stretches are just the ones I need for my radiated side--the muscles and tendons on that side are always tightening and these exercises are the best I've found for getting limber and standing up straighter. When I go flat at home and look in the mirror, I feel like I definitely look better (and weirdly, less noticeably flat) when I stand up straight than when I slouch. (p.s. Thanks for the Bealls tip. There's one not too far from me. I'll check it out the next time I'm in FL.)
I kind of feel like an interloper on this thread since I haven't had the courage to go flat in public (except for a walk or two in my neighborhood). But I'm so appreciative of your input. And I mean that for myself, not for my website!
Barbara
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I just finished reading through all of these posts and looking at all the pics. You ladies are awesome and I only hope that I can have the courage to go out without forms some day and not worry about someone looking at me any different. I will get there, it will just take some time. I applaud all of you - you all look great!
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All of you look great! Like fashion models!
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Hi, Barbara!
I don't know that there is one simple answer to your question about why back to flat (or concave), but I'll try to answer concisely anyhow. For the past few months, as this subject got more attention on this board, and as more and more women talked about how freeing it was to go form free, I kept remembering just how free I had felt that first almost 2 years. I am doing one thing different this time around. Because I am concave on the left side, I have been wearing some cute little camisoles I bought just before I bought my PALs last year. They came from Wal-Mart, and they have very thin pads in the cups of the cami (to hide nipples?), which project maybe a half inch or maybe an inch on the concave side. If I run my hand over them, they crush against my chest, but they come right back out when I let go of them. This helps my chest look more like Cathi's than concave, and I think that helps. I'm not quite ready to wear those adorable dresses Cathi has on in her pics, but that's more because my whole professional life, I had to dress quite conservatively, and I still feel too shy to wear things I love to see on other people. Does that make sense? At any rate, the freedom is wonderful, and I love getting up and getting dressed without having to figure out which forms and which bra or cami and wondering if people notice that I seem softer and larger some days and smaller and firmer on other days. I still haven't a clue what people feel when they hug me! And I get a lot of hugs.
As long as I stand up straight and hold my tummy in, I think I look about 10 pounds lighter without the forms, even though they don't even weigh an extra two pounds total! I do like the flatter look. One problem with forms is that most of them have more projection than I want. These little camis seem to give me all I want, and they don't move around or threaten to show themselves!
That's not concise, but does it get at answering your question? I feel sure once you try it and get used to it, you are gonna love it. You are petite enough to look smashing, athletic, and very hot! Now, if I can lose that last pesky 15 pounds, maybe I will too...
Dawn
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Dawn I echo what you said about trying to figure out what to wear (bra/form) now I stopped wearing mine re- DR recommendations because of lung issues, but even if that were not the case I think by now I would have stopped wearing them, my MX bras are nice looking and for the most part comfy, the forms are good, but they still, look and fit differently under cloths than my "normal" ones did. As far as being concave -I am pretty concave on my left side, I know it doesn't show much in the pictures, but there are some materials (such as rayon) I would not dare to wear "FREE" and fitting without bra.
My forms are a 2 (Lg
and when I have worn them and looked in the mirror I felt the same way FAT, I was so small chested before it really does make quite a difference in the look. Anyone who knows me ( family/friend) knows what the last 3yrs of my life have been like, so I figure if they happen to notice a lump or bump they know why. Anyone who doesn't know me - well let them guess or think what they want.
Not every style or material will work for everyone, but it is VERY possible to be Breast/Form free and be beautiful for all of us.
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Barbara -
First of all, please don't feel at all like an interloper on this thread. My goodness, after all you've done for us breast free girls. Thank you!
Now, I haven't totally gone form free - I do wear my forms to work every day (haven't worked up the courage to go w/o as of yet) and if I go out; however, I do not wear forms to the gym, trail, around the house or in bathing suits. I would like to go form free in order to wear some of the cute summer styles that will not work with a mast bra - dresses like the ones Cathi posted and am considering buying some cute halter tshirts to wear form free (I was going to do that this weekend, but went out of town). This weekend, I did go out a bit around the campground form free in a tight t, walking the dog - it was liberating. Also went to the beach with no forms in my suit, which I never do - so I am pretty used to that.
About your cami question, Barbara - I do think that a cami would help you. I say this because I agree - you and I have similar builds and I cannot wear the tight tee (although I did this weekend, but does walking my dog around a campground count? ha) out, as bones WILL show through. I think the cami would add an extra layer and prevent that, so it may be a very good idea indeed! Wouldn't hurt to try. Let us know how you do.
Raye
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Barbara,
You have been a tremendous support to me ever since I began coming to this site almost a year after my bilat. Of course you belong here in this discussion! You are still my inspiration. I've just added some more inspiration to my list!
I went form free in the beginning because it was two years before I could stand to have anything like elastic (in shelf bras in camis) or anything other than cotton next to my chest. I had a lot of nerve pain, and while it is mostly now just numbness, I still have a lot of it, and I have to be careful not to do myself damage when I don't realize it. I wore cotton tank tops as a base garment or as underwear under everything in that time, and I wore a LOT of black, especially travel knits that are such a deep black there is no shadow. (I LOVE black, so that was not a problem for me.) Eventually I branched out into purple, turquoise, and some copper/gold, but black was and is my staple. (I could wear that gorgeous black dress of Cathi's and feel very good about myself.)
I've told you before that changing from forms to flat and back again is both physically and psychologically painful for me. I was fine if all I wore was PALs because I wore them 24/7 (except in the shower), but when I got the comfort of the Comfort-Lites and had to change into the PALs at night, it got complicated, and then I couldn't find a bra that was comfortable for long, and then this thread came along and reminded me just how much free-er I felt when I didn't have to think about it all that much.
As I've noted, until I quit working last year in June, I was mostly is dressy clothes with jackets or scarves to camoflage my flatness some, and I was mostly indoors with A/C which was often cool enough for a jacket anyhow. But then at home, in shorts and T-shirts and so on, I began to look for options. At any rate, I found I was so used to being flat (and everyone I worked with and pretty much everyone I knew, knew I'd had BC and a bilat.) so I didn't think about it much. Then I suddenly sprouted boobs, and the looks of surprise on people's faces (even brief ones) made me self-conscious, and I began to curve my shoulders forward just a bit, and stand less straight. I know it is counter-intuitive, but I do stand and sit more straight, when I am form-free than when I look like I have breasts. So I am enjoying once again being form-free, liking the way I look slenderer and have better posture. Sure, I have some clothes that look better with some shape, but I have mostly a wardrobe without darts and shaping, and I am mostly comfortable with it.
A good friend sent me a T-shirt (in my favorite black) that says, "Cancer Sucks!" I wore it to the Y a few times, and people wanted to know where to get one for other people they knew who'd had cancer. And because I had been so open about my diagnosis and treatment, women came to me from all over when they got their diagnoses. Only one of them made the decisions I had made, but they all stay in touch and let me know how they are doing. And the one who was fairly heavy and went form-free looked fabulous when I saw her a few months later in a dress and little jacket. I had to look twice to be know she didn't have on forms, and she looked slimmer as well.
But it was the pictures on this site that convinced me that I could still look and feel feminine and sexy without boobs. I felt all right before, but I didn't think I LOOKED sexy, and now I know it really isn't what's on top of my chest, but what's in my head!
So thanks to all who have posted pictures and shared your stories. I'm beginning to feel both sexy and free again, and that is no small feat.
Dawn
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I love the pictures! This takes my brain "outside the box." My whole life, I have spent a great deal of mental angst trying to make my boobs look smaller. The ideas here are great...ruffles, folds, color...who knew I'd ever GET to wear these things!! Thank you ladies for sharing your fashion sense, as clearly I have none
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Cathi - I just want to tell you your dress and red top pictures look AWESOME!!!! The fit and styles are very flattering!!!! (psst- if you can spare some hair - you can send it my way.) 0
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Evening all. I have to say that the last few days totally form free has been pretty wonderful. I think its helped my body realign better too not having all that pressure on my chest. For now this is very doable. My camera is officially shot so I bought a cheap digital one to replace it which was not a good idea because the pics are awful. Will have to take it back and try again.
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Hi, my friends! Nice to see you here! Cathi, I'm so glad you posted those wonderful photos here. You look just fabulous. Now I, on the other hand & in marked contrast, take a somewhat more irreverent & artsy view of my amazonian, partly boobless state; some of you have seen this elsewhere:
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Kathleen
Thats what I look like in the morning - even the same side.
I cannot wear clothes without a prosthesis due to the size of the remaining breast. There doesnt seem to be an option for me. I would like to take a cooler effect but cannot go with nothing..... What is out there for the bigger girl. (36 C - L, 36 AAA - R with dogear at the back.)
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Mom, that's terrific news. Good for you!!! So happy for you.
Dream - are you looking for another prosthesis? bra? Maybe our resident expert Barbara can help you.
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Dawn, Raye, and Cathi,
Thank you so much for your incredibly thoughtful responses.
Dawn, your comment about liking things on other people that you're too shy to wear yourself makes total sense to me--I'm the same way! Surprisingly (to me anyway), I now wear more revealing clothes than I did before the surgery. I think the whole experience got me out of my rut and made me realize just how conservatively I had been dressing. I also feel a bit how you describe regarding the camisole with just a hint of projection. That would be nice. When I'm totally flat, I really feel flat as a board, flatter than even most men! I wish there was a way to create just a hint of protrusion. Then I think I could go with it.
Cathi, I have your attitude in my head--that is, I understand that everyone who knows me knows my situation anyway, and as for the rest, who cares?--yet emotionally I'm not quite there.
Raye, thanks for your encouragement. I can relate to where you're at--needing to wear forms sometimes, okay without them at others. I think I'm slowly getting to that place. As for the cami idea, I think I'll make a trek to a lingerie department and try a few on to see how they work underneath clothing.
What you women make so clear with your comments and your wonderful photos is that it really is much more about state of mind than anything else. If you feel good about yourself and hold yourself that way, it shines through. I remember a girl in college who was homely but always had gorgeous guys dating her. I later learned that her mother had died when she was young and her father had treated her as if she was the most precious person on earth. That apparently gave her an inner sense of beauty that shined through and attracted people to her. I wish I could bottle some of that!
dreamwriter,
I think you face the biggest challenge--having to balance a healthy breast when that breast is large. A good fitter can be invaluable. Among the forms out there, I've found the coolest to be the Silique Comfort-Lite (which most fitters still don't carry, though you could ask them to order one), the Still You Illusion (very inexpensive relative to silicone and wearable in an unpocketed bra, but again rarely available at a fitter--you'd probably have to order one online), and the Amoena Climate, which is silicone but with a thick cooling pad in back which really does prevent perspiration. The Climate is lightweight, so should be manageable even in a larger size. I also like the unweighted foam Amoena Leisure form, style 126, but you probably need some weight on your mastectomy side to keep you even. Still, this might be a good form for exercising and/or hanging out at home. Finding a good bra is essential, too. I love the Anita bras, but Amoena and others make a wide selection, plus you can have pockets sewn into regular bras. Hope this helps.
I'd like to add to the photos one of my mother-in-law. She passed away almost a year ago, at age 82 (not from breast cancer). When I met her in 1972, she had just had a second mastectomy (the first was 15 years earlier). She wore forms at that time but in the late 1980s decided to go flat. She's 80 years old in the photo below. You can also see that her right hand isn't right--that's because she had severe lymphedema in that arm and hand for fifty years. Nevertheless, I think she looks beautiful. She's an example of that inner beauty shining through. I know she would be happy for me to post this as she was an ardent supporter of breast cancer causes and was a pioneer in starting the first post-mastectomy support groups back in Stanford in the seventies.
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She does look beautiful and fashionable in that pic Erica.
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Barbara, what a wonderful picture of your MIL! She would be honoured to know how admirably her picture will be received here. She does look like a truly beautiful person. Thanks for sharing.
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Want to add; I used to sweat heavily under my 42D's and thought I'd lose that when I lost the weight and heat of the breasts. To my surprise, I still sweat there! It is the most beautiful skin on my body, very smooth and young looking (I never really saw it as it was under my breasts) but still sweats like a pig! 0
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Barbara,
You might check Wal-Mart for camis by No Boundaries with the very thin (maybe 1/32" thick) pad inside the cup area. It would be a very inexpensive way to see if it worked for you. I'm going to day to see if they still have any I might wear in other colors. I'll see if I can PM you a picture of the difference on me between the little pad cami and a regular shelf-bra cami. And like you, I find I am more likely to wear something low-cut than I ever did pre-mast. I never minded seeing cleavage on other women, but I just couldn't bring myself to show it. What a shame!
Thank you so much for the picture of your mother-in-law! That's a casual version of the way I dressed before when I was not using prostheses. She was beautiful, and I would never have known from that picture that she wasn't just small-breasted. I had a jacket from Coldwater Creek in that style and it was my favorite! I guess it still is. At any rate, to have had the issues she had for so many years, and to have maintained that wonderful smile and so much class...Wow! What an amazing woman! I think she is my heroine, too.
Dawn
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Barbara - you mother-in-law was simply stunning! And so stylish - I would never had known either that she didn't have breasts. Gorgeous.
Let us know how the cami works for you - am curious.
Barbe - See oily skin creates youthful, beautiful skin! Sweat gets rid of the nastiness inside of us - and leads to better skin. My mom used to tell me when I complained about my oily skin in HS and even into my 30's, that I would be thankful one day. Well, the wrinkles are a comin, but not as bad as they could be if I'd had dry skin.
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I don't pop in very often, but boy I'm glad I did tonite. This is the BEST post and needs to stay bumped to the top.
You boobless ladies have me so jealous! I had a unilateral mastectomy, 20 years, ago. I'm small 5'0" and weigh 110 lbs. Unfortunately, on my small frame I carry a 34D breast. I have a size 7 breast form. There is no way I can go braless out in public without looking extremely lopsided.
I do go braless at home and when I'm working in the yard. It is such a relief, especially in the summer. Recently, I have been looking at myself in the mirror and actually like the way I look on the side that is missing the boob. I'm 57 and it is actually a younger look. I think that large breasted women begin to look matronly as they age, because of the boob size.
I have been seriously thinking about having a prophalactic mastectomy when I retire at the end of this year. Overall, I think it would be so freeing. However, I'm not sure if my insurance would pay for it after this long. But, I was thinking of getting the genetic testing, which they didn't do 20 years ago, since it would probably come out postive, because of my family history. Then, I'm sure it would be covered by insurance.
You ladies seriously rock!
~elaine~
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Elaine, I can't even imagine how hard it would be to wear a size 7 breast form. I have 3's and 4's and they are so heavy by the end of the day. This last week or so I haven't worn them once and it does feel rather wonderful. I have read enough posts from women with only one breast to know that presents a whole set of problems on its own. I had the bilateral and one of those was prophylactic. Then again seeing you have gone for 20 years cancer free on that side seems like you made the right choice for you. There has to be something out their better than those heavy breast forms.
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